Description
#57 (just to keep the numbering intact because I skipped this when I left the letter about Jean unfinished- I'm rewriting it now) Wednesday 29 November 1944 7:30 pm Dearly Beloved, #s 65 and 67 just received- first mail in 3 days, and so good to get. Have all thru #67 now; curious how they come, 64 and 66 one day and then 65 and 67 3 days later, for no apparent reason. How long is it now that you haven't had any mail from me? I can't understand that, either. Have just come from a meeting which impressed me more than any gathering of civilians I've attended to date- it was called by the assistant welfare officer (Henry Graham - class ahead of me at Columbia and taken out the same time as I was; I think I've mentioned him before: both he and his wife are professional social workers, she being a graduate of the N.Y. School) and consisted of the respective members for the combined Japanese and Korean Community Chest councils. Apart from recently encouraged individual ventures in private enterprise, the work of the community chests is about the only autonomous, self-directed community effort that has been permitted so far. There are two community councils, one on each side, quite apart from the chest council - tho having some members in common - which serve as spokesmen for the Japanese and Korean people to the military government and vice versa. On practically any matter either side wants to bring up, but it is the latter, of course, which makes all the decisions. Unlike the merely advisory or liaison community councils, which [pg 2] directly serve the purposes of the military government and only secondarily those of the people, and which are almost indispensable, especially at first, [?] maintaining order by keeping track of people and getting information to them, the community chests have [?ated] and carried on their own work with just a supervisory o.k. from the M.G. Tonight, it is true, Graham made a number of suggestions based on his experience in welfare work in the States as to the necessity or convenience of as to keeping individual case histories of relief recipients, and also made various assurances as to his own personal view that recipients of cash relief should be permitted to buy what anyone else can in the interests of self-respect, etc., etc. but this was his first meeting with them and he also stated that he was not there to run the show. The community chest, like the American variety, raises funds by more or less voluntary subscription, disbursing some of them in cash to families with no wage-earners (Some two or three hundred altogether) at the rate, usually, of $1.50 per family per month. That doesn't sound like much but food is still supplied free and the money just goes for things like toothpaste, sewing materials, razor blades, cigarets[sic] and occasionally (When the store has it) candy. The chest also buys similar articles for distribution to people in the hospital, is considering starting a nursery which it calculates will free about 100 widows or widowers for work is thinking about transferring certain families to the relief rolls so that a son who is the only means of support can go to school, etc. Those rather elementary activities may not sound very impressive but it is good to see the civilians running something of their own - there is enough management ability amongst them, at least [pg 3] [Note at top of page: 'Scuse please - got dropped on the floor and stepped on] amongst the Japanese. At tonight's meeting were old - former city mayor, a person of some presence and dignity with a much-lined thoughtful face; young, vigorous - Lead of the local equivalent of the Chamber of Commerce; another elderly and rather distinguished looking full-mustached man who was an officer in the Russo-Japanese War and a farm manager here; mild, slightly bookish-looking as well as business-like - formerly an important figure in the [?] life of the island; - the Buddhist priest, one of the hardest-working men around here and perhaps the most respected by military as well as civilian personnel: both capable and modest - he arranges for all burials, visits the hospital daily, and may perhaps supervise the forthcoming kindergarten, having done similar work before the war; - , the Japanese asst. camp leader, whom I like very much and want to tell you about another time. Apart from the natural loyalties and susceptibilities to [super?], these men strike me as being not much different in their personal values on a community scale from an average American group, with much the same sense of justice and social responsibilities. Didn't mean to get started on that, sweetie, but it was interesting. What I have to say about Jean won’t take very long though I've thought a good deal about it. [pg 4] My darling, I know I am good for you in many little ways, as you are for me, and I delight in being so - much of whatever wisdom I now have, including that by which I bolster your morale occasionally, I got from you. There are so many times when you play a part in my decisions, especially when they concern human relationships - the very thing I used to think I was pretty good at. It was during the period when I was this misinformed that I was Jean's confident and advisor - in retrospect, not a very good one. I may have done her considerable harm by reinforcing instead of helping to dissipate certain of her notions about herself, whatever truth there may have been in them. I can see now the magnitude of that mistake. Partly for that reason and partly because the real responsibility would rest with you, I said the other day that you yourself are in a better position to decide whether you can have Jean come to live with you for awhile, or for the duration. I suppose it would really be the latter. When I was about to suggest that you make the invitation a tentative one, for two or three months or so til you see how the arrangement suits you (it could be tactfully put) I realized that you just couldn't have Jean with you at all without profoundly affecting her, and it wouldn't be fair (as you say) to turn her loose until she has achieved a greater degree of emotional and less superficial independence than she has now. Something inside me has been urging me since you first mentioned the [pg 5] idea, to give Jean a break and persuade you to have her come; that is, I've been prejudiced in favor of the idea and still am. I am satisfied on thinking it over that I've long since ceased to feel guilty about any mistakes I may have made formerly in misdirecting her, but at the same time it would be extremely gratifying to see her brought to life (and liberty). That isn't the point. I don't want that if it's going to cost you and Wendy anything; if it will place any additional emotional strain on you, or do anything at all to modify the wholesome and delightful way in which you've begun Wendy's growing up. Those are very precious things, darling, and it's just this question which you yourself must decide. It seems to me that Jean could live nearly as you suggest, coming in for meals; that you could let her go her own way (she’d probably manage to have her own car, somehow) and yet encourage her to spend all the time she wanted to with you; could be perfectly honest with her about herself and the phase she's going thru, encouraging her in it and telling her just what limitations she must enforce with herself for the time being; especially making he realize that she does need your help in some things and that it's likely to be more reliable just now than her own judgment. It seems to me too that you could make a pleasant game out of it and encourage her to laugh (warmly, not ironically) at little confusions and quandaries, while refusing to let it worry you. Don't be afraid of letting her down, sweetie - anything would be better than where she is now, and even a little encouragement to come to grips with herself may be enough to enable her to complete the process herself if necessary - how I want to hear from you again before saying any more. Take your time deciding. I love you more than anything else in the world, my darling, W P.S. If it turns out to be good for Jean, as I think it will, it will also be good for you.
