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94 Thursday Dec. 14 - 7:45 P.M. My dearest darling: Music from Oklahoma - and it hits so hard at this particular time. Just a few minutes ago I phoned Fran's mother - and darling Hilda's broken the engagement - it seems so cruel that so much of the same thing should happen to one who is as sweet and trusting as Fran. The news will reach Fran just about Christmas day - poor guy - I wish you could be with him 0 he is going to be disheartened. The worst of it is that he has no idea that anything is in the offing, and just today Mrs. Conrad had a long happy letter from him about himself and Hilda. I will write him tonight for whatever small comfort it may bring. I called Mrs. Conrad because Paula is leaving Carmel for good next Thursday; and I have no way of getting up. Wendy is too heavy for me to carry alone will all her paraphernalia. However, the first chance I get for a ride I'm going up - now that I have had a long talk with Fran's mother, I am more anxious than ever. I know how sweet and loving she is just from talking with her. I wish we [pg 2] could be there right now. And, I am sorry we can't be in Berkeley for Christmas - it is going to be a long and lonely day - but there my aloneness and yours will be nothing as compared to Fran's - I have so much to write about tonight that again I will go through the day in chronological order. Wendy and I were up bright and early - gave the house a real good cleaning, and then downtown to have my tooth fixed. Letter #66 was waiting for us - all about the Korean names. Stopped at [Andiés?] to find out about a permanent - and made an appointment to have my hair set tomorrow so that they could see how much of my old permanent is left. So Mrs. J is going to be all beautiful tomorrow for no good reason. What an extravagant mix I am! Wendy gathers her compliments block by block - wonder what will happen when she begins to understand - Mummy has been getting compliments about her ‘beautiful Irish eyes’ from complete strangers recently - must be all the mail she has been getting from daddy- Lunch was most successful - Wendy drank her milk out of her cup - it was such fun - first she tried sucking the glass and then slurping so that her bib and rompers got thoroughly soaked - but we just laughed and loved it. [pg 3] While Wendy was napping I finished her pink outfit- please hurry back to Hawaii so I can send it to you! When I went in to get her up she was lying kitty-corner - Edward elephant at her head - a foot in each hand - a big smile! She has been completely adorable all day. We went to town about three - and by [?]! there were three more letters from you plus the Air Mail package. Mail has been so good after that awful gap - I'm just holding tight and hoping it continues. I glanced at the letters - and then put them away to read at the park. I burst right out laughing at the raincoat story, and looked up to see several people with smiles on their faces watching me. How bout contraceptives for females or don't they believe in them? There's a new kind of diaphragm that doesn't need special fitting - or so the pamphlet in my last box of Kotex tells me! Wendy for some reason got a talking jag on while we were walking around - much to the delight of passersby - it was so cute. Wendy on her tummy, talking a blue streak and turning her head from side to side so she wouldn't miss anything. When we finally got to park, I sat down to a long read - Eleven pages - and each [pg 4] one a direct hit. It was hard reading darling, and I was glad Wendy was in front of me so that I could look up at her when my eyes filled with tears. I want to cry long and violently, because all you say is true - I know it, but rebel against admitting it. If I could just be there with you - that is all that matters - When we are together again - and I have you to love and comfort me, and when I can do the same for you everything will be right again. Perhaps I am growing more mature - I honestly don't know and I think the most helpful thing you told me to do was not to try and think now when I am so upset. I could go on and write pages - but it would probably just confuse both of us. I won't say any more - except that your coming to me in letters like this give me strength and courage to face the future, and your return to us who need and love you more than anything else in this world. On our way home we stopped to see Marge Mulligan who was in the midst of Christmas wrappings - you would like her - much better for me than Paula - will write more as I get to know her better. When we got home Wendy started [pg 5] to cry and I wanted to look at the brush ink paintings - so I put her on her tummy and the floor with your big picture in front of her. She stopped crying, patted your face and said da-da-da-da- Don't laugh - I know it must have been accidental, but it was awfully sweet. I love the paintings and bit of poetry please tell me more about them. If we ever get a big enough room - I’d like to mount them on a big piece of thin matting (grass if we could get it) Don't you think that would be effective? Another way would be on Mouk's cloth or better still parachute silk. Bathed Wendy early - she splashes so vigorously I'm just about soaked despite the bath apron. Her hair is long enough now to comb up in the middle, but not yet long enough to curl over. While I was feeding little sweetie, Paula barged in, and said she had decided to go back to her mother's. I am sort of relieved, because Paula has been acting like a soap opera - and having hysterical conversations over the phone with her mother up in Oakland. It’d like to get the house for Mrs. Benson, but I don't [pg 6] think the owner wants to rent. However, I shall have a try at it. Marge Mulligan will be here til Feb. then Mrs. Price will be back, so I shall have help nearby if I should ever need it. Before I forget your Val Pack arrived here this morning - I looked for some liquor in case you’d sent any, but didn't find anything so put it away upstairs, as I have no room to hang your suits up. Now that I know what you want in the way of clippings I will try to send them along. The bookstore has the pocket Oxford and I'm going to get you a copy tomorrow and send it 1st class. Must do dishes, wash hair and write Fran, and my eyes are half closed now. And I want to reread your letters before going to bed. It's so good to belong to you darling - hold me close and never let go- Bobby
