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50 Nov. 3 2:30 P.M. Friday My darling: This is our day, and I've been thinking of you constantly - even to one of those special dreams last night. I love you with all my heart - Little sweetie celebrated her birthday by sleeping til 7:20 this morning - the second or third time since you left. Now she's rosy and happy after her nap - feet in air and fists in mouth - head arched back in her own particular way. Mailed you a last Christmas present from the bookstore this morning - hope it arrives on time - Also ordered a copy of Jack Belden's ‘Still Time to Die.’ The N.Y. Times Sunday edition has finally started to come thru - received the last two Sunday editions this morning - as soon as I'm through with these will mail out the news and book sections - Sent out a copy of the Pine Cove too. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately - and a lot of typing (which ends up in the waste basket) just to clear my mind - And finally I've come to a few sane conclusions and [pg 2] admissions in this seemingly insane world of living alone. First of all, I realized that when you left I was panic stricken and without faith in the future - I also realized that there were probably more confused and bruised wives than there were brave and easily-adjusted ones. In the latter case I can only place Toni. I know now that there is a future - whether I like to admit it or not, and we are part of it. That this durating life is heartbreakingly empty - and that there is an endless line of tray suppers still ahead of me - to say nothing of empty beds and days in general. That the last of my worries must be mostly black bats, and big fat cats that scratch on the window in the middle of the night, because former tenants thought it was a cute trick. What is it all about? You, darling, in your letters have come nearest helping me find some sort of an answer. We had a letter from Miss Coolidge this morning saying we could plan to rent the house til late next fall - at least I know now, we won't have to move if [pg 3] we must stay here. Must dash off a note to M and F now, and then to the P.O. All my love darling - every bit - Bobby Nov. 3/42 It started with a twenty minute walk that lasted 3 ½ hrs. Riverside Parks - [Childs?] - Normandie - Staten Island Ferry - Waffle Wing Nov. 3/43 Warren took me up to the Sanitorium this afternoon - flowers - slippers and lovely bed jacket - Am getting dextrose intravenously
