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80 Dec. 2 - Saturday 5:30 P.M. My dearest darling: This has been another one of those days - and now I know why mothers get gray. Wendy really led me a song and dance - sure could use some help from you! However, she is much better tonight and breathing lots easier. She was just plain ornery - perhaps it was being indoors two days - but damn it I do object to carrots, egg, lamb etc. all over me, the sprout and the room - together with temper crying spells, Poor Sweetie, she needs her daddy, and so does her mummy. No mail for three days now, and that alone would make me moody. My allotment check hasn't arrived either - if it doesn't come by Monday I'll have to cash a bond, and then buy another one later in the month. The Nettletons are leaving next Saturday - their new base is Hayward, and they expect to live in Berkeley. Bev is going to watch out for a place for us when they are hunting. Paula says rents there are much less than here, but this is probably a bad time. We got a card from Hy, Pearl and Mike today - will save all our Christmas cards and then mail them on to you, when you are back in Hawaii. This afternoon Paula drove us [pg 2] over to Del Monte - was able to get her a few things and some cigarettes for me. Saw just the right size photo album for you, but decided that there wasn't much point in sending when packages take so long to get to you, and you will be able to pick one up later. Got Wendy some pants fillers at Wards, and groceries at the Safeway - Then to Pacific Grove for bread and to leave the laundry. It's so good to get out of Carmel - even if it's just for an afternoon. Wendy is rubbing her eyes - so I must give her a sponge bath and her supper - 7:10 P.M. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be going out dancing together tonight - Saturday nights and Sunday are particularly empty-and I can't keep busy enough. Just think a year ago we were on our way to New York on leave - reading ‘[Sons?] and Lovers’ aloud - with comments by Paul and J. over the back of the seat. Tucked Wendy sprout in with a sigh of relief - her cold is ever so much better! But even at six months I can't keep up with her - she isn't still for a minute, and keeps up a running conversation with herself. [pg 3] When she started to walk - I'm going to have the saddle maker in Monterey design a soft leather harness with little silver bells so I can keep track of her. I'll have to put everything breakable away - and it won't be long now. There is so little to write about when I don't hear from you - letters establish a more direct contact than I realized. I am dreading Christmas more and more - if only Wendy was older, it would be so much easier. We will have a tree tho darling - the littlest one we can find - and we'll try to be happy as we can. The war news is so bad now - seems as if it will never be over - The third world war is already looming up in so many ways - aren't we ever going to have a stretch of a few peaceful years to lead a normal life? It is all so futile - snatch a few months of happiness always the dread of separation hanging over - than an endless stretch of waiting followed by a few more months like the first. What the hell is it all about, and why should we be victims of something ewe have no control over? And why should I have a feeling of guilt for these thoughts? If I didn't have you darling…Well I do, and I love you much that nothing else matters Bobby
