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356 Tuesday 30 October 5 pm My dearest darling, I'm in the very uncomfortable position of having just decided to play for time; and even though it's only a matter of two weeks, I know how hard it will be for you to understand how I could do such a thing to you as to postpone putting in my request for separation even for that long. I do so, darling, only in terms of potential future (and not very distant future) advantages to all of us, and in doing so I'm sure that I feel the emptiness of your absence almost as much as you do mine, and a most urgent desire for your companionship. But somebody has to make the money for this family, and the decisions pertinent to making it. When I see Mr. Schwartz about ten days from now, I want to be able to say: I can get a spot promotion to lieutenant if I agree to stay in the Navy six months after Nov. 1st [I have no intention of doing so]; and, furthermore, Commander Kenney has offered to [pg 2] make me head of the Department of Education and Religion if I will agree to remain to March 1st [I've no intention of agreeing to that, either]. If I should state flatly now that I want to get out as soon as possible [which I do!], I would lose my bargaining position. Therefore I have let the personnel officer know that I wish two weeks in which to hear from home and also about a job I have lined up before I decide whether or not I shall put in my letter. A current turn of events has made it certain that I could not get home by Christmas no matter what I do [I'll be there with you in spirit, darling, if I could only tell you how much!] As you know, Comdr. Kenney may not release me without authorization based on a letter which will take at least a month to come back. Secondly, I will have to be the one to break in the next Education Officer, because it has just been decided that Barry will take over Labor and Industry. My relief will not arrive until after my orders [pg 3] do -perhaps two weeks - and then I won't be released for ten days or two weeks after that, because there is a hell of a lot to learn. Add three weeks for transportation on to that and you'll see what I mean. It was with that realization, Sweetie, that I decided that it would be worth it to us to play for two weeks’ time. There is also the chance that by doing so Kenney will make me dept. head anyhow (without my promise to stay except as long as it will take to break in a relief, and he'll insist on that anyhow) - and that means that I can use that title anytime I am looking for a job in the future. Small advantage, you may think, but it might be a decisive one. As soon as I have talked to Schwartz I will know whether to submit my letter right away or whether, conceivably, he thinks he can get me out faster. My object, darling, is twofold: to get home soon, and to get a [pg 4] job that will support you and us all in a manner to which you, particularly, should become accustomed. I won't sacrifice one aim against the other more than to a limited extent - but if there's anything to this job, it may help me to get home the faster and certainly won't do the reverse. Please try to be patient with me, darling. I feel like such a culprit, because I know what this means to you. But as I've said there are times for bold decisions, and there will be a few times in our life together when necessarily I'll have to make them alone. I still say January - no later. And I love you the more for every little thing that hurts you - only please, darling, don't stay hurt - bounce back and one of these days you'll bounce right into my arms, just as though you’d always been there. I love you! Warren
