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250 Saturday-May 5-9:00 P.M. My Dearly Beloved: A few minutes ago I was all set to begin one of my everyday letters to you, but I hadn't even gotten started when the S.M. come with your May 1st letters. Sweety- I guess I needed a long, cheerful letter from you tonight - Your letter sort of knocked the props from under me - It wasn't what you said, just the general tone of loving and wanting to be loved. Why does it have to be this way - when we want and need so much to be together? I keep thinking that surely there must be someway out but I guess its just wishful hoping. I hate this feeling of being tied down when I have so much love to give you. The months ahead seem unbearable. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up only when its all over, to find you beside me. [pg 2] We both know by now how hard it is, that we can live through it if we have to -but that doesn't make it any less of a hell. Don't let my reaction disturb you darling - its good for me to have the release of crying, and now after being very restless last night, I feel sleepy and ready for bed. Guess Saturdays are bad all around - somehow, tho quite understandably, its one of the many times I miss and need you most. Know I'll feel better tomorrow - so will leave this open for a P.S. and account of today's happenings- Goodnight my precious, please come back to me very soon- Bobby 10:45 Morning Darling: Am going to renig on last night's promise, because I want to go to the P.O. Will write when we get home - I love you-B.
