Description
377 Saturday 17 November 1945 9:30 pm My dearest darling, About all I got out of last night's party was a mild hangover (forgot to take my B1 until this morning); the sukiyaki and entertainment were old stuff to me, and while it would always be fun with an interesting companion, me date (a Red Cross girl who does enlisted men's club work here on Tinian, where there are several large clubs) was the sterile type of Southern girl who goes through the motions but doesn't seem to have a real spark of life and isn't approachable even in just a friendly sense. So I'm just about fed to the teeth with dates here; the only one I really enjoyed was Evelyn Ball. I wasn't interested in her in anymore than a passing way (by which I don't mean making passes), but at least she was pleasant to spend time with. [pg 2] As a result of initial efforts to get a date for the party. I have one for tomorrow night with a little girl who is a patient at 374th Gen. Hospital, nicknamed “Penny” after her surname of Centkiewicz. An Army nurse who was going steady with Marston Bergman (who has just left) asked me to look her up because when all her friends were detached she came down with bronchitis and was left stranded and rather lonesome. Her doctor wouldn't let her out for the party but she asked me to come back and see her. She's not pretty but looks like a good dancer, and is fun to banter with. All in all, though, darling, I don't like dating when I've been away from you so long, even with girls who are fun. It only reminds me how long it has been and [pg 3] make me the more restless to be home. Demonstration of affection is certainly a basic human need and Sweetie, whatever I may once have said about independence in that respect, there's really only one objective of that demonstration for me. In intellectual or rational terms I still have the same views on the subject and can conceive of situations involving mature women and no complications, emotional or legal (no such situation has existed or is likely to exist) - but deep in my heart, darling, I want no one but you, and want you the worst way. And of course I mean not merely physically. My morale is not bad and I'm far steadier - more objective and less easily disturbed by vicissitudes outside of me or within - than I've ever been in my life, I think; but I do lack positive [pg 4] incentive, and emotional warmth. It has been a long time since I've found the children here genuinely amusing; anything I might want to do for them or for the people generally would be based more on habits of thought than on feeling. And I don't like to be that way. But I don't waste time fretting over it; I just pick up a couple of drinks at the club, engage in a little casual conversation and go to bed. So many times I've thought to myself, you are my refuge, darling, and without you nothing seems genuinely worthwhile. I too just go through the motions. It won't be so long now. And honey, I never want to leave you again! I love you Warren
