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#244 Navy #3247 (Mil. Govt) F.P.O. San Francisco Wed. 6 June 1945 7:25 pm My dearest darling, The moment I read “This has been a full day with an undertone of unhappiness,” I knew what you were talking about and I both dreaded it a little and felt relived. I heard all about it from Walter. I believe X was the one looking at a map with him at the time - hence Walter's just claim to having had a very narrow escape, despite his relatively slight injuries. I was awfully sorry, my darling, for Helen's sake and especially for yours, that there had to be someone whose family are in Carmel. Yes, it is a tragic situation, and such an anomalous one - you must feel like the bearer of a guilty secret; I know I would. I was going to reproach Walter for telling Helen, but realized that she’d learn sooner or later, and perhaps it is better to be forewarned. Mrs. X must know that Helen's husband was wounded, and when she finds out about X she will - or may, in a week or two - question Helen as to what she knows of the incident. It would take a knowledge of Mrs. X's personality to be able [pg 2] to say what course I would take were I in Helen's place - whether to deny foreknowledge, or to tell all she knows, but there's one thing worth saying for what little comfort it may bring, and that would imply having heard about it from Walter (she could say that she had just heard): - X never knew, not for the fraction of a second, what hit him; death was instantaneous. I know that you will continue to be dogged by that undertone of unhappiness until some days after Mrs. X has found out. I hope that happens soon. Let me say once again, darling, that if I do get sent out of here on an assault, the chances are very, very strong in our favor; further, that there is more likelihood of my being sent out of here as a replacement, with little or no danger; still further, that it continues to seem likely that I will be here another 2 or 3 months at least, and as you've guessed, the longer I'm here the more secure are our prospects in general. But, darling, I don't want you to feel that in the event my next assignment is the kind you are hoping against most strongly, there is still ample room for optimism. Haven't I told [pg 3] you over and over again that I'm coming home? We've got a date, haven't we? Who even heard of anybody's breaking a date with you, least of all me! But all kidding aside, I've been giving you straight stuff. And I knew about the MG Medical unit casualties, too. By the way, you mustn't use the word “casualty” lightly, or you'll get a scare when you read the newspapers. Casualty means anyone permanently or temporarily rendered unfit for combat. If my ear trouble had occurred as a result of concussion rather than fungus infection, and still laid me up no longer than it did, I’d be considered as a casualty. The ratio of wounded (more than 90% of whom recover in modern warfare) to killed outright is something like 10 to 1 or better. I still smile at your naivete in supposing that Chuck Mulligan will just up and drop in on me. Well, I guess it is possible, and I should certainly be delighted to see him. But I think I've explained that situation in a previous letter. I'm well aware myself from experience in the past ([Tratelju?]) that there is a point of tension which Seconal makes no impression at all on. Usually, though, a double drink will do the trick. The most important thing of all to remember when [pg 4] you’re too tense to sleep regardless of what you take or do, is that you'll live through it. You've got to take just a moment to realize that and to smile even if doing so doesn't relax you. Fear - ordinary human fear, and its resultant tension - is an honest thing, understandable and inevitable; the fear of fear, that is of oneself, is something that one must never admit to. As long as your fear is concern for something objective, a beloved something outside of you, it is not unhealthy and not something to be concerned about, however uncomfortable and trying it may be for a time. Darling, I realize that you've long since learned to make that important distinction; it just helps sometimes to find the reflection of one's own maturing wisdom in somebody else's. You wouldn't be human if you didn't have primary fears, sometimes strong ones; you wouldn't be the integrated personality - the person - you are if you entertained secondary ones. [Here goes my last sheet of stationery. I know there's a box on the way now, but so far there's always been a gap between boxes. How about mailing another today or tomorrow - or better, two of them; then when I reach the end of the next-to-[pg 5] last box I'll request two more.] You've down right well by me today, Sweetie - 2 letters this morning (and the second pair of pajamas, now carefully tucked under a clean pillowcase and on a clean sheet!); 2 letters and a long envelope this afternoon. I've been grateful for the amount of time I've been able to spend on letter-writing the past 2 or 3 days; it's only because my days are so very full that I don't write like that always. I've never even approached the point where I would run out of things to write about, unless occasionally I was just dog-tired…now, since I expect to be pretty busy again beginning tomorrow, I'm doing my best to catch up with you. #279 (Some more) - I love getting perfumed letters. The “Gold Tassel” is interesting. I like almost any perfume on you - any that you've used - but I think I associate “Bond St.” with you more than any other. M and F have been just swell - that $100 is really a boost to Wendy's account, isn't it? Do you [pg 6] realize that our resources including Wendy's but not counting the checking acct, in savings and bonds, have no reached the phenomenal total of One Thousand and Fifteen Dollars? I’d love to see Wendy's chair, but I can well imagine it, especially with the sample. Yes, I have the other pair by now - just! It's hard to say which cookies I like best - they've all been good. (Funny, I was so busy before I went away that I left with only half the box eaten. When I got back they were as fresh as ever - slightly moist - and I bite into one right now. Mm-mm…wish I had a glass of milk to go with it - this heavy insulated metal can we have, about 36-40” high and 15” in diameter, built on the vacuum principle, really keeps things indefinitely) I would like some fudge if you think it's possible to make any that won't dry out before it gets here and break into a million pieces. Want to try? The Captain's inspection at the school went off well. We had every kid up there out in the field and they’d just about finished when the party came around; the place was spotless. No new [pg 7] building was initiated while I was away but the auditorium was almost completed (considering the materials used - walls and roof of corrugated tin - it's really a handsome job) and a lot more coral was brought in for the walks. On the petition of the Korean teachers that Moon be allowed to remain till the end of the school term (middle of August) we've compromised by retaining him till the end of June. There's a couple of weeks after you get this letter, therefore, in which to get that little bottle of perfume to me if you can send it airmail. If you can't, let me know whether you’re sending it and I'll just tell him about it. Give my best to Gladys. I'm awfully glad I got started on answering your since-April 27th letters before your reminder; I'll try to finish doing so before this fluent spell peters out. But it's awfully hard when I keep getting new and equally wonderful ones, and when once in awhile I want [pg 8] to wedge in a little news from this end. Don't forget - if you really want something answered, underline it for insurance. The rest you'll just have to take a chance on, and that doesn't mean in the slightest that I don't pay attention to it at the time - #280 (May 30) Priorities slightly revised: #1, Rolliflex, or [Rolliard?] camera if obtainable for $100 or less [just wait till I Can borrow one from somebody to show you why - we can virtually take our own family portraits with that little gem of a camera, which I've known professional photographers as well as newsmen to use and which I like better than any other for all purpose work] #2, car: #3 laundress; #4, 16 mm. movie camera (good second-hand, $50-75. 8 mm is cheap but just isn't worthwhile) If you want to reverse the priorities, ok, but that's my feeling, and I do want to get the Rolliflex in somewhere. Darling, you wouldn't wonder how anyone could come out of this war safely if you could [pg 9] see some of the thousands of men way out here on this island who have never been near a battle zone - at least not in any fighting - and never will be. War is exactly what it's said to be, mostly just monotony, dirt and discomfort. Seems funny to hear about a holiday. Doesn't make any sense out here. Glad to know when you sent the EFM. That means that it took a day (about 40 hours, rather) as far as it went by cable or radio, and 2 or 3 days the rest of the way by mail. The latter is where I should think it might be held up. Incidentally, Walter mentioned writing me (as you did) as soon as he landed, but I haven't yet received the letter. Your letter containing Wendy's washcloth was not held up because of [?]; it was just misdirected, as letters occasionally are. That reminds me of an amusing case - history of a piece of mail. Soon after Arthur arrived here in March, he happened to mention a Christmas package that he’d never received. He was particularly regretful because he knew it to contain among other things, an album full of snapshots and a large folder of photographs [pg 10] of his wife and grown children (boy of 20, girl of 17). It was marked from Rockville Center, [?] on October 19; he received it on June 1st. It was correctly addressed by Navy number to his then Peleliu address, but was sent by mistake to a similar Navy number in - guess where - France! From there it returned to the Pacific, went all the way out to Peleliu, probably back to Hawaii, and then here. And everything in it was in perfect condition. We had quite a laugh out of that package, after Arthur had picked out and anticipatorily enjoyed the things he was most looking for. Besides a two-but mystery story, a cellophane package of candied popcorn, a ½ pound oil-paper wrapped pkg of cheese in quite edible condition and some candy, there was a mysterious package that contained a little 6-inch imitation Christmas tree, and a necktie box full of silver tinsel. It seemed so ridiculous that we practically giggled. More stories about Wendy's growing vocabulary and expressions make me feel just delicious, darling. I too can [pg 11] hardly wait. I was just framing a sentence that I would write in my letter of June 25th - “Do you realize, young lady, that we've reached the half-way mark…?” When your comment reminds me that I can't expect to take you by surprise on that score. Somehow it will feel like downhill as opposed to up. Well, anyhow we’re already right. Awhile ago I forgot and [?] my knitted socks to the laundry, and they got stamped (1252) but I suddenly realized that now I could wear them whenever I wanted to without having to wait till I washed them myself (that never takes less than a month to get around to), and I was glad. Just woke up to the time. Goodnight darling - I shall revel in our pajamas. I love you. Warren
