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#235 Sunday evening 27 May 1945 My dearest darling- I've got to do something about my brown leather notebook, which is full almost to bursting with nearly a 100 letters. Many of them are not checked as being answered, so here goes- #199 (March 19th) - “…tell me more about the school and its far-flung influences…” - Well, I don't know, Sweetie, to what extent it will be used as a model for future operations; it is the model upon which Marianas educational policy is based, but by now it's pretty well presumed that the Marianas will be American territory after the war and that hence this school will become an American school. I would no longer say as I did in my letter to Cottrell of only six weeks or so ago, “We do not seek to Americanize…” I, at least, am thinking in just those terms now, assuming that although many will return to Japan and Korea respectively after the war, a lot of others will stay here and become, along with their children after them, American subjects. [pg 2] Clipping - “I've had to resort to a hot-water bottle in bed, but it isn't the same” Nothing is the same, darling, not even your pajamas, but - it's so important to feel you close to me thru little means like that that no hurt they occasion matters. The two are inseparable, anyway - hurt and love. The important thing is that the latter so overwhelms the former that pain becomes a trifling incident-: one to be acknowledged simply, because not to acknowledge it is not to feel (and hence not truly to feel love or any other forthright emotion), - yet an incident nonetheless in a cosmic scheme of things when love is inevitably and ultimately the master. What am I saying, and what does it add up to? - I want you. (I shall want you only the more as time passes.) -That's no way to go about answering what must be several dozen letters! [pg 3] Does Gerry still plan to go east for three months if Rein isn't back by June? I spoke to him on the telephone a couple of days ago (am to spend the day there whenever I go to see his roommate, Wally Teed (Cmdr.) about my nose) and he had no indication that he was leaving soon. Oxford dictionary says gaily (you spelled it that way, then said you would give first preference to gayly.) Gosh, how I wish I could eat one of your meals! - The food was really lousy today. Speaking of the latest copy of Vogue, a Vogue gal correspondent is here today and will spend tomorrow morning at the school. Charlie and Tel met her when they were off the island about 3 or 4 weeks ago and persuaded her to come here. She's a Madison Ave -type, lean and boyish of figure, wearing a shirt a few women do becomingly, face smoothly made up [pg 4] with cream colored powder (no blush) and lips very brightly rouged. She was brought here by the General (the Island Commander) himself and had a hard time shaking the gold braid to get down to a story. #200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205, 209, 210, 211, 212, 213 (April 1), 214, 215, 216, 217, 218, 219, 220, 221, 222, 223, 224, 230 (April 15 - the one I got just the other day), 242 (April 27-I'm sure I answered this one in part), 243, 246, 247, 248, 249, 250, 251, 252 - (In reverse order) Have been interested in your clippings about Robert Cecil (how old a man is he?). Reading between the lines, I gathered that, though he must have suffered many hardships, he and his fellow inmates were not treated with extreme cruelty. I enjoyed your sketch of living room, bedroom, benjo and kitchen, darling; they help visualize the little house whose outside and former inside appearance I remember distinctly (as I do much of Carmel and its environs) but whose disposition at your hands I haven't seen. It was fun seeing where you’d put trunk, woven stuff (baskets [pg 5] slippers, green shirts) Walla Walla, [Traher?] Vic's license (I’d forgotten all about that) - It's interesting to hear of your reaction to such things as Roosevelt's death, Truman's early announcements, VE day, The San Francisco Conference, etc. - although such things are followed with interest out here, there is a certain remove to feeling about them. No, I don't remember Bob Shedd whom Dotsie writes about, but I'm glad you heard from her. Nice work, sweetie, talking Gladys out of the icebox - I've learned to do some plain and fancy talking people out of things here, myself. Speaking of packages, I marked that long tube yesterday and this morning (With a half day off) I just about drove myself crazy wrapping seven packages when I wanted awfully much to write you. The stuff had been hanging around for several weeks, and when I started by wrapping a package to mail you (just some cigarette cases for [pg 6] the mailman, Bev, and a couple of extras I decided not to send to the people I ordered them for), I thought I might as well get it over with. Between wrapping and writing little explanatory notes, it took all morning to do the job- [?] and cig. case to Jean Cig. case to Doug 6 coasters each to M and F, Muz Middle-sized basket bag to Sally Moore If you should have occasion to write John and Betty, put in a note for Sally and tell her I said that Wendy has a bag just like hers and uses it to take to the beach and…(?) I sent it parcel post and couldn't write anything. Haven't mailed Doug's yet but it seems to me his address is in one of your later letters. I adore your being my wife, darling, and my being your husband! Still no word from Walter, but if he's where you say he is I'll see him (as [pg 7] I may explain further in letter #234, about to be written as the main feature of the evening) at some time during the next few days. “I wish I could go to sleep and wake up only when its all over, to find you beside me” - you do and you don't, sweetie. Think back for a moment instead of to the temporary void and ache that's ahead - would you be the same as you are now? Yes, I think there is a chance of the war with Japan's being over by next March, but not the likelihood. I don't think we’re ready yet to venture on another operation even the size of Okinawa, or will be for 3 or 4 months to come. The chances of the war's being over 6-9 months from now depend a lot on how completely the military continues to hold power within Japan itself. [pg 8] Look for shifts in the cabinet. If, when Okinawa falls in another month or two, the cabinet of Admiral Suzuki gives way to one dominated by the [zaibatm?] or financial [cliq?], I would say that there is a slight chance of Japan's accepting our terms without invasion. If that cabinet is in turn replaced after some future victory as on the China coast, by a coalition of 1930 “liberals,” I would think there was a good chance. This is just to venture an opinion as you ask me to. I still love hearing about Wendy, darling, every bit of it, whether I comment or not. Was awfully glad about Doug's getting into ATC. I don't believe I do have his address, after all, and since I can't write him now c/o Muz, please send it to me if you have it. I was struck with surprise on glancing [pg 9] thru a batch of some of the first letters I received from you (the earliest I have here is June 1 ’44) to realize that I was in Washington only a year ago. I knew that, of course, because of Wendy's birthday, but it hadn't sunk in. It seems much longer. I haven't the faintest idea what good the pinup girl is going to do you; I just thought you’d be amused. No, sweetie, I don't especially crave pictures of you in hula and nothing else (it's easier to picture Bev in such) - why can't you tell me the story of Mrs. Price and the horse? Your letters aren't censored. You should see some of the stuff Helen writes Charlie - often uproariously funny, not simply vulgar for its own sake. There - I've only scanned the above-numbered letters rather quickly; so if [pg 10] there's anything you know you asked up to May 10th and that you’d still like an answer or comment on, let me know. Just now I'm going out to hunt up Riley Ewing, who's leaving before long. I have grown to like him particularly well - he is gentle and kind, more tolerant of the natives than anyone else here, and get quite capable of expressing strong and forthright opinion. You probably remember him and Mary as keeping a sloppy apartment (remember the visit we paid them before moving in? I asked Riley about the Gauleiter school and how we got in it) - well, that's so infinitesimal a thing compared to his own breadth and stature that I’d almost welcome it now as being in character. [pg 11] The main reason I want to see Riley right now is to get the words to a number of good drinking songs which only he and Charlie knew completely - and Charlie is gone. You've still got another letter coming to you tonight, or at least first thing in the morning - mail from you has been wonderful lately, darling. I love you very much Warren
