Lebanon Advertiser

              Uatltoatrs*
pOBNWALL A LEBAMOS KAILKOAD
UIKKCT BOUTS FOB ALL POINTS ON IHE
PKNNS YLV ANI A K All. UO A1).
Arraniccinavnt of Pewsenaer Tlelee
vos and after Slonday, Juiy.2Uth, 1S91, tbe
pjteeuger trains will rnn as follows :
I._eve—
Lebanoa....
Cornwall...
Mt. Gretna.
A II
6:25-
f.-3ti
9:4:!
Philadelphia...
New York......
ax   AW  v _
■ 9:00 lft-tS   2*00
9:10 10:57   2:12
9:20 11:07   2:22
Arrive— am   am  pm  pk
-Lancaster    1*1010:29 12:58  3:55
10:20 12:1(5   3:15 6:45
.  1:20   2:30   5:50   9.20
aa
7:30 11:00 12:01   3:20
,11:15     3:05   7:00
6 50 8:10  ...... 11:55
AM      AM     AV    AM
i 12:15
. 4:30
. 6:25
. 7:00
2:40
.M£
Jtsl
PM
3:15
3:27
3:37
PJT
4:45
PM
7:10
7.20
7:30
PM
8:40
J.'SUED EVERY WED_\E8DA Y Bt
W. J. BURNSIDE,
Jl ft. Nintb street.
Lebanoa-, fa
6:50 10:55
AM
Harrisburg......
Williamsport...
Pittsburg	
•Leave-
New York	
Philadelphia..
Lancaster.. ...
Harrisburg....
Williamsport..
Pittsburg	
Arrive—
Mt. Gretna—
Oornwall	
Lebanon 	
9:35
P M
9:00
....   8:50 11:40 11:45
 10:55   2:00 2:50
9.25 11:50   2:35 3:40
....   8:25     12:30
2:20   ....    7:15 IM
AM    rM      P M P M
8:00 10:20 12:45   3:35 4:35
3:08 10:30 12:55   3:45 4:45
8:20 10:40   1:05   3:55 4:55
3.50
PM
8:45
3:25
4:45
r m
3:00
5:20
7:25
7:30
4:00
rM
8:40
8:i>o
9:00
Mt. Gretna Park proved its popularity by
the largely increased business of 1890.
There will be many Improvements for the
season of 1891. E. B. GOBDON.
Gen'l. Passenger Agent.
NED litisn. Gent. Supt.
Dec. 31,1890. 	
m,
4 and
-plllLADELPllIA & U EADING BA1LKOAD
IbbANUEMENT OV PAfiSlfUGEB TBAINS
AUGUST 2,18S1.
TBAINS LEAVE LEBANON.
For New Xortc'via Philadelphia, Weoksdays,
7*07,8*50,10:*Wa.m-._aa-V4:«0 and 6:46 p. m.;
Snnday, 2:45 and 4:49 p.m.
For New Tork via Allentown, Weekdays, 7*07,
8*50 a. m., 12:56,2:17jp. m.   Sunday, 7:1* a. m.
For Philadelphia, Weekdays, 6:05, 7:07, 8*50,
lo*30 a. m., 2:17, 4.40 and 6:48 p. __.; Snnday,
7:42 a. in., 2:46,4:49 and 6:40 p. m.
For Middletown.  Weekdays, 6:02. 8:23 a
12:55, 5:15, 707 and 11:20 p. m.; Sunday, 9:
11:48 a. m.
For Ecadinr, Weekdavs, 6:05, 7:07 (Fast Express) 8:50, 10:30 a. m„ 12:56, 2:17,4:40, 6:46, 9:C3
p.m.   Sunday,7:42,9:43a.m.,2:45,4:49and6:40
For Allentown, Weekdays, 6:05,7:07. 8:50 a. m.,
12:56,2:17 and 4:40 p. m.; Bunday, 7:42, 9:43 a
m.. 4:49 V. in.
For Harrisburg, Weekdays, 6:02, 8:23, 10:58 a.
m 12*55, 2:22, 5:15. 7:07, 8:46 (Fast Express),
and ll*»p. in.; Sunday, 9:54,11:48 a. m., 5:04,
7:04,11:20 p.m.
For Gettysburg, 6:02,8:23,10:58 ». va., 7:07 p. m.
Sundays, 9:51,11:48a. m., 7:04 p. m.*
For Shippensbnrg, 6:02, 8:23 a. m., 12:55, 5:15 p.
m    Sundays. 9:MJtl:48 a. m., 7*04 p. m.
TBAINS FOB LEBANON.
Leave New York via Allentown. Weekdays
4:30 and 8*15 a. m., DOO, 3:45, and 5:45 p. in.
Sunday. 5:30 p. m.
Leave New York via Philadelphia, Weekdays,
7*45a*_dU:30a m., 1:30. 4*00, 5*0 p. m., and
12:15midnight; Sunday,5:00p.m.
Leave Philadelphia. Weekdays, 4:10. 8:3d, 10:00
a m., l:40,4.*00. 6:00, 7:15 p. ni.; Sunday, 6:30
and 9:00 a. m., and 3:40,7:15 p. m.
Leave Beading, Weekdays, 6.1*0. 7*15,10:19,11:50
a m 1*27 4.20,6:00,7:57 and 10:25 p. m. Sundays." 8:50,10.48 a. in., 4:00, 6:00,10:25 p. m.
LeaveAllentown. Weekdays, 5:57, 8:35 a. m.,
12:10, 4:25, 6:40,9*05 p. m.; Sunday, 7:25 a. m.,
4:25 and 9*50 p. m.
Leave Harrisburg, Weekdays, 5:10, 6 25, 7:55,
9*35a.m., 12*00 noon, 1:25, 3:45, 5:50, and 8:10
p. m. Sundays, 6*50, 8:50 a. nu, 2:00. 4:00, 5:45
p. ni.
ATLANTIC CITT DIVISION.
Leave   IrMladelphia   and   Chestnut   Street
Wharf, and SeuthStreet Wharf.
FOB ATLANTIC CITY.
Weekdavs—Express, 5:15,8:00,9:00, 10:45 a. m.,
1-00, (Siturdsys only, 1:30), 2:00. 3:00, 3:30, 4:00,
6:00, 6:00, p. aa. Accommodation, 7:40, a. m,
and 4:15, 6.30 p. in.
Sundays-Express. 5:15, 7:00, 7:30, 8.00 8:30, 9:00,
9:30, a. nu, and 4:30, p. m. Accoinmadation,
8*00 a m.. and 4:45 p: m.
Week^ays^-Express. 7:00, 7:30 8:00, 9.00, 10.00
a nu. 3.15, 4.00,6.30, 6.30, 7 30, 9 3u p nu Accommodation, 6.00,8.10 a. nu and 4*30 p. m.—
Sundays—Kxpress, 3 80, 4.00, 5.00, 6 uO, 6 30,
IJtt, 7.30, 8.00, 9 88 p. m. Accommodation,
7.'39 a. m. and 5,06 p. in.
PINEGROVE DIVISION.
Trains lehve Lebanon for Pinegrove at
8:35 a. tn., 1:00. 6:15 and 8:65 p. na.
Trains from Pinegrove arrive at Lebanon
at 7:00 and 830 a. m., 155 and $a<$ p. et.
9. A. McLEOD,
C. U. Hahcock, Gen'l. Passenger Agent.
Apr. 21—tt.  ,
PEHKSUV&NU RAILROAD
m
On and after Nov. tid, 1890, trains will leave
Lebanon as follows, connecting at Conewago
lor all points on the Pennsylvania Railroad;
I eave Lebanon at 6.25 a. m. Arrive at Cone-
wiieo 7.05 a. m., Lancaster 8.10 a. m , Philadelphia 10.20 a. m., Sew York 1.20 p. nu, Harris-
bunt 7.30 a. m., Altoona 1.45 p -m., Pittsburg
6 SO |) in This train makes close connectioi
at llarrisburg lor points on the Northern Central and PhiU.doiphia 9 Erie Bailroad.
Leave Lebanon 10.15 a. m. Arrive at Conewago 10.55a. m.. Harrisburg 12.01 p. m. Arrive
at Lancaster 11.85a.mj, Philadelphia 1.25 p. m
New York 4.00 p.m. This train makes close
connection at Harrisburg for points on the
Northern Central and P,*E. B.B. 	
Leave Lebanon 11.30 a. m. Arrive at Cone-
waeo '2.15 p. aa., Lancaster 12.58 p. m., Philadelphia 3.15p. m. New York 5.50 p. m.
Leave lebanon 2.00 p. nu. arrive at Conewago 2.45 p.m., Lancaster 4.5- p.m. Philadelphia 6.50 p. mi New York 9.35 p. m.. Harrisburg 3.20 p. m.^ Altoona 7 CO p.nu, Pittsburg
ll.55p.m.T Baltimore ..« 9. ts*. Washington
Leave'Lebanon 8.15 p.m. .Antra at Cone
wago 4.00 p. nu, Lancaster, 4.45 p. nu, Philadelphia 6.50 p. nu. New York 9.35 p.m.
Leave Lebanon T*» p.m.  Arrive at Cone
wago7.55p.m., Lancaster 8.40 p. nu, Philadel
phia 10.55 p. m.. Harrisburg 8.45 p. va
*CHAS. E.POtiH. _*i,\V,00?\
General Manager. Genl. Passr. Agt.
Dec. 3. 1890.
GROCERIES! GROCERIES!
WHOLESALE and BETA1L.
FISH, OYSTERS,BANANAS,
GARDEN VEGETABLES,
BUTTER and E0G8.
—)o(—
No stale or old stock on hand.   Fresh
supplies received daily from Philadelphia and New Tork markets, and from
the country.
Ooods delivered promptly snd in
prime condition.
Everything the housekeeper can desire, of the best quality and at reasonable prices.
LORENZO SHUGAR,
N. W Cor. Seventh and Cumberland Sts
AprU 1.     _. LKBANOrl.   P
8. V. BEINOEHL.   M. W. BEINOEHL.
H. A. BEINOEHL.
IMUUl LUMBER CO.
Successors to Koinoehl & Mcilv.
OFFICE
% PLACING MILL
AND YARDS,
EIGHTH iJATHUTREETS.'
||White Pine, Yellow Pine and Yellow
Poplar, Hemlock, Laths, Pickets, Shingles,
Hard Woods, and manufacturers of Boors
Sash, Blinds,   Carvings,    Moulding
Flooring, Turning, Scroll Sawing.
Persons in want of anything in our line
«fll find it to their interest to examine
oar stock. Jan. 15-ly
AGENCYJ«r>
•a A pamphlet of information and abstract of the laws, .showing How to/A
' \ Obtain Patents, Caveats, Trode/P
. Marks, Copyrights, sent fret*/*?*
^Address  NIUNN    &    COeJjj^
^361 Broadway*
New York.
VOL. 44.-NO. 9.
LEBATSTCXN, LEBANON COUNTY. PA., WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 1891.
WHOLE NO-2191
CORNWALL RAILROAD.
Lebanon & Lancaster Joint-Line.
VWShortest route for Lancaster and ail points east and west.
On and after May    th, 1891, Passenger Trains will be ran as follows :
p.m.
7 IS
7 28
7 29
7 36
7 41
7 53
8 25
p.m.
p.m.! p.m. i   m
3 10 12 35 11 05
3 21112 41!
» 24.12 49
3 31 12 56
..... 1 te
.....   1 16
    1 55
    ■ SO
p.m.'p.m.
11 16
II It)
11 26
a ni.
9 10
9 21
9 24
9 3i
a.m.
7 12
7 27
7 SO
>■
7 45
7SB
827
9 22
a.m.
am
6 80
. 46
6 50
laeave. Arrive.
~.,,m... Lebanon	
...........Cornwall ,
 Miners' Tillage	
...........Penryn. ,
 Mt. Hope..........
 Manheim	
.. King Street, Lancaster..
 Columbia...	
Arrive. Leave.
p.m.
tta
3 55
358
4 io
4 22
504
5 05
p.m.
p.m.
12 30
am. |
7 55
12 42
8 10
12 4ft
8 13
8 27
8 39 1
S 50
,,„
9 20
p.m.
a.m.
Leave.       SUN Daks.
7 55    Lebanon..
a.m (am. p m. p.m..p.m. p.m.
8 11 10 25 12 20, 3 14 85. 6 30
7 59 10 13 1 0 1 511 4 23 6 19
7 50 10 10,12 OS 1 48 4 20 6 16
7 SO 10 04 12 00 1 42] 4 14| 6 10
7 4 I I 37l  6 et
7 S3 '    1 25    5 53
7*m I '12 39    5 20
 1 112 35 j 3 45
_.m.la.*m. p-m-'p m.'p.m ip.m.
Ari*ive.
■ •.Cornwall................
 Miners' Village.	
 Penryn	
 ....Mt. Hope	
 Manheim	
........King Street, Lancaster. ._
 ....Columbia....	
Arrive. Leave.
a.m.
9 32
SI7
9 14
9*00
8 44
8 00
8 05
am.
p.m.
2 35
223
2 20
p.m.
p.m.
S 10
416
4 52
4*40
421
3.50
SW
p.m.
1, ,J!_V_1.a,na §°uth-bonnd trains connect at Lebanon with trams on Philadelphia * Heading
ltallroad to and from Harrisburg, Beading. Pottsville, Philadelphia and NewVoi k      ve-*u,"K
South-bound trains connect at Manheim with trains on the Heading* Columbia Railroad
forpoints between Reading and Columbia. 6    a«,.uaaau.sa »».i_u
-_*.iifrh"_delphla * Meaaing "ailroad Company mileage books-viil be accepted on the Cornwall
FIXTE blSaPLAT OF
Stationery Goods!
03
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0)
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EMBRACING 9 large and varied asssortmenl of Books, Bibles,
testaments, Hymn Books, Books in board, oloth and fine bindings, for all ages; from Toy Books with colored illustrations for
tho little ones, to board covers—books
standard works for adults.
for youth  and miss, np to
Work
Cases,
FARCY GOODS.
In Leather, Plush and Peroian Silver Cases such as Albama
Boxes,  Toilet Cases,  Shaving Sets,  Writing Desks,  Cigar
tT^'-p"^ a    £'   __^ Stands,  Paper Weights, Calendars, Card Cases;
Lap Tablets, Pocket Booka, Wall Pockets, Cards, Portfolios, Picture
Frames, Dressing Cases, &o., &0.
GOLD PENB and HOLDERS.
Btylographic and fountain Pens and Pencils in Gold, Silver, Rubber and Celluloid Cases.
POCKET BOOKS and PURSES.
A large and varied assortment.
©
c
em
CT
ft
tm-
CR
p«
<^.
cr
X
_t
CD
CD
2Sb advance in Prices.    Holiday Goods sold at as Low
Prices as others.
Dec. 10, '90—3m
CiflT
GOUT
OUR preparations for the Holiday Trade are on a
Larger and Grander .Scale than ever before.
•nW "**' *k® °°^ weather has actually set in
ladies will see the necessity of an immediate purchase of
a WRAP or COAT of some kind. We bave bought
the entire stock of a large Cloak Manufacturer at prices
which enable us to place them within the reach ol all
THE HEAVY STOCK
Of Coats and Cloaks we carry makes us Headquarters for
these goods, bnt as we prepared for a very cold winter,
and it is here, we are prepared to furnish yon vrth a
Good, Warm and Stylish Garment at a Very Low Figure
DEPARTMENT.
DRESS  GOODS
This  department
-^HOLIDAY=PRESENTS
never was so fnll
Suitable for
of  Choice   Goods
O. SHENK,
Lebanon's Leading Clothier,
816 Cumberland St.,        LEBANON, PA
S. SEIBERT, President
*G. EHEHOBN, Manager
COMPANY.
The Lebanon Brewing Company is prepared to furnish their excellent
WIENER-MAERTZEN, EXPORT
—AND—
Salvator Lager Beer
IN ANY QUANTITY DESIRED.
BOTTLED    B EER.
Orders for onr Bottled Beer left at the Brewery, or with J. F. H«,ia
the prominent bottler, at the Exchange Hold, Ind. Diet, will be filled.
Onr Wiener Beer, which is bottled, is especially recommended for
LADIES NURSING CHILDREN, hr the most prominent physicians
in" the City.   f^TELEPHOHB CONNECTION.   Apply to
LEBANON BREWING* CO.,
Dec. 3, 1887. Independent District. Lebanon. Pa.
KAUFFMAN'S
summer {nunnery!
sea:
OuifStock is as fall and fresh as at any time during the
'son.    We are baying Hats and making Hats
every day.    We offer
Special Bargains This] Week:
Choice Straw Hats at 12,15,19, 23, 25 and 50 cents each.
Ladies Fine Hats at 26, 75 and 98 cents; worth $1.00 to $1.75J
FLO WEBS ail one-haZf the former price.
Ribbons, Nets and Laces very cheap.
TRIMMED HATS aud BONNETS.
Fine Hats, 95 eents; worth $2.00.
SO HATS, Finely Trimmed, at $1.50; worth $3.00—SO
100 Trimmed Hats at |2.00, $2.50 and $3.00; less than half prU*. *
KAUFFMAN'S
AprU 1, '91.
813 Cumberland Street.
LEBANON, PA.
Your Couch
Has not yielded to the various remedies yon have been taking. It
troubles yoa day and night, breaks
your rest and reduces your strength.
Now try Ayer's Cherry Pectoral,
before the bronchial tubes become
enlarged or the delicate tissues of
the lungs sustain fatal injury. As
an anodyne and expectorant, this
preparation has no equal. It soothes
the irritated membrane, promotes
expectoration, and induces repose.
The worst cough
Can Be Cured
by the use of Ayer's Cherry Pectoral. Hr.
J. G. Gordon, Carrol Co., Va., writes: "I
use Ayer's Cherry Pectoral in my practice,
and pronounce tt to be unequaled as a remedy for colds and coughs."
"After the grippe—cough. This was my
experience—a hacking, dry cough, with an
incessant tickling in tbe throat, keeping me
awake nights, and disturbing the household.
I tried a great number of 'cough-cures,' but
they gave mo only temporary relief. At last
I concluded to tako Ayer's Cherry Pectoral,
and before I had used half a bottle, I bad
my flrst all-night sleep. I continued to improve, and now consider myself cured." —
A. A. Sherman, Coeymans, N. Y.
By Using
Ayer's Cherry Pectoral, many have beea
saved from fatal illness.
E. D. Estabrooks, Canterbury, N. B., sayst
" ta the winter et 1859 I was a surveyor of
lumber iu Sacramento, Cal. Being considerably exposed, I took a bad cold accompanied with a terrible couglh I tried several
remedies, bat they failed to cure me, and it
was thought I was going into a decline. On
the advice of a friend, I began to use Ayer's
Cherry Pectoral, and less tban half a bottle
.completely cured me."
Ayer's
Cherry Pectoral
PBErAKED BY
Or. J. C. AYER & CO., Lowell, Mass.
Sold by all Druggists.   Price $1; six bottles, $5.
JOHNSON'S
-'•VODY*'-*
LINIMENT
°ty
&
■"O    r°> BTCaEBlTAL ui SITE2SAL vu.*
^GENERATION AFTER GENERATION^
0/*\       HAVE USED ASD BLESSED IT.   .*-KL^r
°^(NC-H£^*
Dropped on Sugar, Children Zove It.
Every Traveler shoald have a bottle of it in his satchel.
_- _*At"l/ 9sall*s*"fs**il-a**ar From Rheumatism, Sei.
C¥C'lf WU Merer atic_, Ke-ralgia, Nei^
Tama Headache, Diphtheria, Coufrhs, catarrh, Bronchitis,
Asthma, Cholera Morbus, Diarrhaea, Lameness, Soreness
ln Body or Limbs, Stiff Joints or Strains, wiil find ln
this old Anodyne relief and speedy core. Pamphlet
bee. Sold everywhere. Price 35 cta., by mail, 6 bottle*
Express paid, S2.   I. S. JOHNSON & CO, Boston, Mass.
Septy-Kem.
I CURE
FITS!
'When I aay Ctjm I do not mean merely to
■top them for a time, and then have tbem re*
turn again.  I meau A KADICAL CUBE.
VI have made the disease of     ,
FITS, EPILEPSY or
PALLING SICKNESS,
a. life-long study. I WAKSAirr my remedy to
Cure the worst oases. Because others have
failed is no reason for not nowreceivmg acure.
Send at once for a treatise andaFREE Bottu
of my Iotallibus Bemedt. Give Expresl
and Post Office. It costs yon nothing for a
trial, and it will cure yon. Address
H.O.ROOT,M..C., 183 PEARL St., NfwYO.K
Jiae
In its First Stages.
Be tare yoa get the genuine.
HUMPHREYS'
Dr. Humphreys' Specifics are scientifically and
carefully prepared prescriptions ; used lot many
years In private practice wit h success, and for orer
thirty years used by tbe people. Every single Specific is a special core for the disease named.
These Specifics cure without drugging, purging or reducing the system, and are in fact and
deed the sovereign remedies ofthe World.
UST OF PRINCIPAL NOS. CURES. P
1 Fevers* Congestion, inflammation...
2 Worms* Worm Fever, Worm Colic.
3 Oryiuij Colic* orTeething of Infants
4 Diarrhea, of Children or Adults	
H Dysentery, Griping, Bilious Colic. .
6 Cholera Morbus, Vomiting	
7 Coughs, Cold, Bronchitis.............
8 Nt :ralgia, Toothache, Faceache—
9 Headaches, Sick Headache, Vertigo
10 Dyspepsia, Bilious Stomach.........
11 Suppressed or Painful Periods.
1 •£ Whites, too Profuse Periods	
13 Croup, Cough, Difficult Breathing   ••
14 salt Rheum, Erysipelas, Eruptions.
15 Rheumatism, Rheumatic Fains—
16 Fever aad A gu e. Chills, Malaria.
17 Files, Blind or Bleeding ...*...
19 Catarrh, Influenza, Cold in the Head
UO Whooping Cough, Violent Coughs.
*24 General Debility.FhyslcalWeatness
27 Kidney Disease	
5» Nervous Debility •••■ — •■•_■•-■••-••
Sold by Druggists, or sent postpaid on receipt
of price.  Db.  Humphreys' Mancj
richly bound in cloth and gold,
Manual, (144 pages)
"   mailed  free.
HUMPHREYS' MEDICINE GO,
Oot. William and John Streets, New York.
SPECIFICS.
RUPTURE.
We, the undersigned,
are  entirely cmt-d Ot
Rapture by Dr. J.   B.
MaYEK, 831 Arch St., Phila.
Thc-nvis IS. Hsartung, N'ew Rinpgold, **&., I.
Sandt, South Easton. Pa., la. V. & ti. A. De-
tm-ek, Oley, Pa., K. G. Stanley, 424 Spru'e St.,
I ebanon. Pa., A. Schneider, laocnst Dale, Pa..
D. It- Noll, Limekiln, Pa., Win. K. Harten-
stine. Phoenixville. Pa., vv. M. Leinbach. __
Washington St., Reading, Pa.. J. C. * yrae,
1310 Howard St., Harrisuurg. Pa., 0. Keehn.
Douglassvi'le, Pa. Dr. MAYER is at Hotel
Penn, Reading. Pa., rm the 2nd Saturday of
each month.  Call to see him.
TO WEAK MEN
Buffering from the effects of youthful errors, early
decay, wasting weakness, lost manhood, etc.. 1 will
■Bend a valuable treatise (sealed) containing full
particulars for home cnre, FREE of charge. A
splendid medical worl; should be read by every
fata frho ls nervous and debilitated^ Address,
Trot._V__t^iV0yf^^_______s,J_}__^
A   pri?   'ft-lra
Hi THE DUST STORM.
To-night God know   what thing shall tide.
The earth is racked and faint-
Expectant, sleepless, open eyed:
And -tre, who from the earth were made.
Thrill with onr mother's pain.
—[In Durance.
Ho man will ever know the exact
truth of the story, though women may
sometimes whisper it to one another
after a dance, when they are putting up
their hair for the night, and comparing
lists of victim*. A man, of course, eta
not assist at tlie.e functions. So the
tale must be told from the outside—iu
tlie dark—all wrong. <
Never praise a sister to a sister in tho
hope of your compliment reaching the
proper ears, and so preparing the way
for you later on. Sisters are women
first, and sisters afterward, and you wiil
find .that you do yourself harm.
Saumarez knew this when he made up
his mind to propose te the elder Miss
Copleigh. Saumarez was a strange man,
with few merits, so far as men could
see, though he was popular with women,
and carried enough conceit to stock a
viceroy's council, and leave a little over
for the commander ia chief's staff. He
was a civilian. Very many women took
an interest in Saumarez, perhaps becausj
his manner to them was offensive. If
you hit a pony over ihe nose at the outset of your acquaintance he may not
love you, but he will take a deep interest
in your movements ever afterward.
The elder Miss Copleigh was nice, plump,
winning, and pretty. The younger was
not pretty, and, fr. m men disregarding
the hint set forth above, her style was
repellant and unattractive. Both girls
had practically the same figure, and
there was a strong likeness between
them in look and voioe, though no one
could doubt for an instant which was
tbe nicer of the two.
Saumarez made up his mind, as soon
as they came into the station from
Behar, to marry the elder one. At least
we all made sure that he would, which
comes to the same thing. She was 23
and he was 33, with pay and allowances
of nearly 1,400 rupees a month. So tho
match, as we arranged it, was ia every
way a good one. Saumarez was hia
name, and summary his nature, as a
man once said. Having drafted liis resolution, he formed a select committee of
one to sit upon it, and resolved to take
his time. In our unpleasant slang, tbe
Copleigh girls "hunted ia couples."
That is to say, you could do nothing
with one without the other; They were
very loving sisters; but their mutual
affection was sometimes inconvenient.
Saumarez held the balance hair true between them, and none but himself could
liave said to which aide his heart inclined, though every one guessed. Ha
rode with them a good deal, and danced
with them, tat he never succeeded in
detatcli ing them from each other for any
length of time.
Women said that the two girls keptto
gether through deep mistrust, each fearing tliat the other would steal a march
on her. But that has nothing to do with
a man. Saumarez was silent for good or
bad, and as business likely attentive as
he could be, having due regard to hia
work and his polo. B.*yond doubt both
girls were fond of him.
As the hot weather drew near and
Saumarez made no sign women said that
you could see their trouble in the eyes
of the girls—that they were looking
strained, anxious, an4 irritable. Meu
are quite blind in these* matters, unless
tbey have more et tbe woman than the
man in their composition, in which case
it does not matter what they say or think.
I maintain it was the hot April days
that took the color out of the Copleigh
girls' cheeks. They should have been
sent to tlie hills early. No one—man or
woman—feels an angel when the hot
weather is approaching The younger
sister grew more cynical—not to say
acid—in her ways, and the winningness
of the elder wore thin. There was more
effort in it
Now tbe station wherein all these
things happened was, though not a little
one, off the line of rail and suffered
through want of attention. There were
no gardens or bands or amusements
worth speaking of, and it was nearly a
day's journey to come into Lahore for a
dance. People were grateful for small
things to interest them.
About the beginning of May and just
before the final exodus of hill goers,
when the weather was very hot and
there were not more than 20 people in
the station, Saumarez gave a moonlight
riding picnic at an old tomb six miles
away, near the bed of the river. It was
a "Noah's Ark" picnic, Mid there was to
be the usual arrangement of quarter
mile intervals between each couple on
account of the dust.
Six couples came altogether, including
chaperons. Moonl ight picnics are useful
just at the very end of the season, before
all the girls go away to the hills. They
lead to understandings, and should be
encouraged by chaperons; especially
those who te girls look sweetest fat riding
habits. I knew a -case once. But that
is another story. That picnic was called
the "Great Pop picnic," because every
one knew Saumarez would propose then
to the eldest Miss Copleigh; and, besides
his affair there was another which might
possibly come to happiness. The social
atmosphere was heavily charged and
wanted clearing.
We met at the parade ground at 10;
the night was fearfully hot. The horses
sweated even at walking pace, brut anything was better than sitting still in our
own dark houses. When we moved off
under the full moon we were fourcouplea,
one triplet, and Mr. Saumarez rode with
the Copleigh girls, and I loitered at the
tail of the procession wondering with
whom Saumarez would ride home.
Every one was bappy and contented,
but we all felt that things were going to
happen. We rode slowly, and it was
nearly midnight before we reached the
old tomb facing tbe ruined tank in the
decayed gardens, where we were goin;
to eat and drink. I was late in coming
up, and, before I went into the garden,
I saw that the horizon to tlie north carried a faint dun colored feather. But
no one would have thanked ine for spoiling so well managed an entertainment
as this picnic—and a dust storm, more
or less, does no great harm.
We gathered by the tank. Some one
had brought out a banjo—which is a
most sentimental instrument—and three
or four of us Fang. Tou must not laugh
at this. Our amusements in out of tlie
way stations are very few indeed. Then
we talked in groups on together, lying
under the trees with tlie sun baked rose.
dropping their petals on onr feet, until
supper was ready. It was a beautiful supper, as cold and as iced as you
oould wish, and we stayed long over ib
I had felt tbat the air was growing
hotter and hotter, but nobody seemed to
notice it until the moon went out and a
burning hot wind began lashing the
orange trees with a sound like the noise
of the sea. Before we knew where we
were the dust storm « as on us and every thing was roaring, whirling darkness.
Tha supper table was blown bodily into
the tank. We were afraid of staying
anywhere near the old tomb for fear it
might be blown down. S • wc felt our
way to the orange trees where the horses
were picketed and « aited for the storm
to blow over. Then the little light tliat
was left vanished and you could not soo
your hand before your face.
The air was heavar w ith dust and sand
from tiie led of ihe r|ver, that filled
boots and pockets and drifted down
necks and coated eyebrows and mustaches. ' It was one of the worst dust
storms of tbe year. We were all huddled together close to the -trembling
horses, with the thunder clatterkttg overhead and the lightning spurting like
water from a sluice, all ways at once.
There was no danger, of course, unless
the horses broke loose.
I was standing with my head downward and my hands over my month,
hearing the trees threshing each other.
I could not see who waa next me till the
flashes came. Then I fouud that I was
packed near Saumarez and the eldest
Miss Copleigh, because she bad a pagri
round her helmet and the younger ha 1
not All the electricity in the air had
gone into my body and I waa quivering
and tingling from head to foot—exactly
as a corn shoots and tingles before rain.
It was a grand storm. The wind seemed
to be picking up the earth and pitching
ft to the leeward in great heaps; and the
heat beat np from the ground like tho
heat of the Day of Judgment
The storm lulled sli htly after the first
haU hour, and I heard a despairing littlo
voice close to my ear, saying to itself,
quietly and softly, as if some lost soul
were flying about with the wind: "OU
my Godl" Then the younger Miss Copleigh stumbled- into my arms, saying:
"Where ia my horse? Get my horse, i
want to go home.    Take me home. "
I thought that tlie lightning and tho
black darkness had frightened her; so I
said there was no danger, but she must
wait till the storm blew ever. She answered: "It fa not that! It 'fa not that!
I want to go home! Oh, take uie away
from bevel*
I said that she could not go till the
light came; bot I felt her brush past me
and go away. It was too dark "to see
where. Tben the whole sky was split
open with one tremendous flash, as if
the end of the world were coming, and
all the women shrieked.
Almost directly after this I felt a
man's hand on my shoulder and heard
Saumarez bellowing in my ear. Through
the rattling of the trees and howling of
the wind I did not catch hfa words at
once. At last I heard him say: "I'vo
proposed to the wrong onel What shall
I do?" Saumarez had no occasion to
make this confidence to ma I was
never a friend of hfa, nor am I now; but
I fancy neither of us were ourselves just
then. He was shaking as he stood with
excitement, and I was feeling queer aU
over with tbe electricity. I could not
tbink of anything to say except, "More
fool tor yoa proposing in a dust stoma. **
But I did not see how that would improve the mistake.
Then he shouted: "Where's Edith-
Edith Copleigh?" Edith was the
younger sister. I answered out of my
astonishment: "What do you want with
ber? " Would you believe ita, for the next
two bours he and I were shouting at
each other tike maniacs—he vowing that
ft was the younger sister he had meant
to propose to all along, and I telling him
tQI my throat was hoarse tliat he must
hare made a mistake! I can't account
tor this except, again, by the fact that
we were neither of us ourselves. Everything seemed to me like a lad dream—
from the stamping of the horses in the
darkness to Saumarez telling me the
story ot hfa loving Edith Copleigh from
tiie first. He was still clawing my
shoulder and begging me to tell him
where Edith Copleigh was, when another hill came and brought light with
it, and we saw the dost cloud forming
on the plain in front of us. So we knew
the worst waa over. The moon was low
down, and there waa juat the glimmer
of the false dawn that comes about an
hour before the real one. But the light
was very faint, and the dun cloud roared
Uke a bulL
I wondered wbere Edith Copleigh had
gone; and as I was wondering I saw three
things together: First Maud Copleigh's
face come smiling out of the darkness
and move toward Saumarez, who waa
standing by me. I heard the girl whisper, "George," and slide her arm through
the arm that was not clawing my
shoulder, and I saw that look on her
face which only comes once or twice in
a lifetime—when a woman fa perfectly
happy and tbe air is full of trumpets and
gorgeous colored fire and the earth turns
Into clouds because she loves $nd fa loved.
At the same time 1 saw Saumarez's face
as he heard Maud Copleigh's voice, and
five yards away from the clump of
jorange trees I saw a brown bol land habit
getting upon a horse.
It must have been my state of over
excitement that made me so quick to
meddle with what did not concern me.
Saumarez waa moving off to tiie habit,
but I pushed him back and said: "Stop
here and explain. I'll fetch her back!"
And I ran ont to get at my own horse. I
liad a perfect unnecessary notion that
everything must be done decently and
in order, and that Saumarez's first cara
was to wipe the happy look out of Maud
Copleigh's face. All the time I was
linking up the curb chain I wondered
how he would do it
I cantered after Edith Copleigh, thinking to bring her back slowly on some
pretense or another. But sbe galloped
away as soon as she saw me, and I was
forced to ride after her in earnest She
called back over her shoulder: "Go
away! I'm going home. Oh,go away!"
two or three times; but my business waa
to catch her first, and argue later.
The ride just fitted in with the rest of
the evil dream. The ground was very
bad, and now and again we rushed
through the whirling choking "dust-
devils" in the skirts of the flying storm.
There was a burning tot wind blowing
that brought np a stench of stale brick
kilns with it; aad through the half light,
and through the dustdevils, across that
desolate plain, flickered the brown hol-
land habit on the gray horse.
She headed for tbe station at first
Then she wheeled around and set off for
the river through beds of burnt down
jungle grass, bad even to ride pig over.
In cold blood I should never have
dreamed of going over such a country
at night, but it seemed quite right and
natural with the lightning crackling
over head, and reek like the smell of
the pit in my nostrils. I rode and
shouted, but she bent forward and
lashed ber horse, and the aftermath of
the dust storm came up and caught us
both, and drove us downwind Uke pieces
of paper.
I don't know how far we rode, but the
drumming of the horses' hoofs and tho
roar of the wind and the race of the
faint blood red moon through the yellow
mist seemed to have gone on for years
and years, and I waa literally drenched,
with aweat from my helmet to my gaiters when the gray stumbled, recovered
himself and pulled up dead lame. My
brute was used up altogether. Edith
Copleigh was in a sad state, plastered
with dust, her helmet off and crying bitterly. "Why can't you let me alone?"
she said. "I only wanted to get away
and go home.   Oh, please let me ga "
Ton have got to come back with mo,
Miss Copleigh. Saumarez has something to say to yon."
It was a foolish way of putting it;
bat I hardly knew Miss Copleigh, and
though I was playiug Providence at the
cost of my horse, I could not tell her in
as many words what Saumarez had told
me. I thought he could do that better
himself All her pretense about being
tired and wanting to go bome broko
down, and she rocked herself to and fro
in the saddle aa she sobbed, and the hot
wind blew her black hair leeward. I
|01 US. goinS to repeat^ljat she said,
because she was utterly unstrung.
This, if you phase, was the cynical
Miss Copleigh Here was I. almost -in
utter stranger to her, trying tota-U li#r
that Saumarez loved ber and she was to
come back and hear hi in say sa I believe I made myself understood, for she
gathered the gray together and made
him hobble somehow, and we set off for
the tomb, while the storm went thundering down to Uinballa and a few big
drops of warm rain fell I found out
that she had been standing close to Saumarez when he proposed to her sister,
and had wanted to go home to cry in
peace as an English girl should. She
dabbed ber eyes with her pocket handkerchief as we went along, and babbled
to me out of sheer Ughtness of heart aud
hysteria. That was perfectly unnatural,
and yet it seemed all right at the timo
and in the place. All the world was
only the two Copleigh girls, Saumarez,
and I, ringed in with the lightning and
the dark; and tho guidance of this misguided world seemed to Ite in my hands.
When we returned to the tomb in the
deep dead stillness that followed the
storm, the dawn was just breaking and
nobody had gone away. They were
were waiting for our return, Saumarez
most of all. His face was white and
drawn. As Miss Copleigh and I limped
up, he came forward to meet us, and,
when he helped her down from her saddle, he kissed ber before all tbe picnic.
It was like a scene in a theater, and the
likeness was heightened by all the dust-
white, ghostly looking men and women
under the orange trees, clapping their
hands—as if they were watching a play
at Saumarez's choice. I never knew
anything so un-English in my life.
Lastly, Saumarez said we must all go
home or the station would come out to
look for us, and would I be good enough
to ride home with Maud Copleigh?
Nothing would give me greater pleasure,
I said,
So we formed up, six couples in all,
and went back two by two, Saumarez
walking at tho. side of Edith Copleigh,
who was riding hfa horse.
The air was clear, and little by Uttle,
as the sun rose, I felt we were aM drop*
ping back again into ordinary men and
women, and that the "Great Pop Picnic"
was a thing altogether apart and out of
the world—never to happen again, ft
had gone with the dust storm and the
tingle in the hot ail.
I felt tired and limp and a good deal
ashamed of myself as I went in for a
bath and some sleep
There is a woman's version of this
story, but it will never be written * • •
unless Maud Copleigh cares to try.—
[Rudyard Kipling.
THE   CZAR'S   SHOT   PROOF   CAR.
How   tbe   Emperor  of  Russia Travels
Anions  His Loving Subjects.
When the czar travels in Russia the
precautions taken for his safety could
not be greater if he were in the enemy's
country, writes a foreign correspondent.
A battalion of infantry fa detailed for
every two miles of distance, and allowing
500 men as the effective force of each battalion, every spot of ground on both
sides of tiie track fa covered by sentinels
within easy distance of each other. The
czar fa suddenly whirled off to tbe station
accompanied by a chosen twelve of hfa
bodyguard, without pomp or circumstance, swiftly and silently. The czar
always travels in a train of five carriages.
His carriage is built in a peculiar sty le.
The -windows, while ample far Ught,
are high, so that a person sitting down
fa invisible from the outside, and tha
sides of the car are fortified with plates
of steel concealed in the ornamental
woodwork, but amply strong to resist a
bullet There are two sentry boxes in
the carriage, one at each end and each
looking out at an opposite side from the
other. The guard ,m.n on duty in these ■
apartments are shut in from any observation of the interior at the carriage, bat
at intervals of about two feet, the whole
length of the saloon, are electric buttons
communicatingwith the guard chambers,
•s weU as with the two carriages, one
containing tlie suite, and the other, in tiie
rear, occupied by the guardsmen not on
iutf. So far, therefore, as the train itself
is concerned, the czar could be no moro
secure in St. Petersburg.
Tbe train speeds along to its destination
without a halt, except on account of
accident. At a distance of not less than
five miles ahead fa a pioneer train, in
which the imperial director of railways
and the chief engineer of the particular
railway on which the czar fa traveling,
always ride. As the pUot train whizzes
by the reserves along the Une rush to
arms and guard the sides of the railway,
waiting until the imperial train has
passed, so that the spectacle is present of
continuous lines of soldiery for hundreds
of miles. Arrived at the end of hfa journey, the czar is escorted to the quarters
intended for the imperial family.
The streets are guarded by special constables, in the attire of citizens. Every
property holder has been called upon to
supply one or more of these men at his
own expense to do duty when the sovereign makes a public appearance. The
constables average one in ten of the
crowd that throngs thestreets, and being
in ordinary dress, they can mingle with
the people, note what fa said, and perhaps do something that will obtain them
regular employment among the secret
police. With one-tenth the population
engaged as spies upon the remainder,
with troops enough concentrated to stand
9 formidable siege, and hfa faithful
guardsmen dogging every step, the czar
goes through the forms of a visit to the
ancient capital of Russia, or whatever
city he may choose to honor.
Educated for Matrimony.
Among the graduates of the year one
brave young woman has completed a
course frankly taken in preparation for
matrimony. Like many girls who make
society amusements their chief existence,
this young woman did not realize the deficiencies in her education until she had
won the friendship and love of one who
was her superior in intellectual acquirements. With the realization of her ignorance came the determination to study
for self improvement. Entering as a
pupil at a well known school for girls sho
took courses in literature, philosophy, and
other studies, which would enable her to
write and speak with accuracy and would
teach her the best methods of thought.
She entered classes of political economy
and studied tiie newspapers under competent direction. Urgirg her teachers to
correct all imperfections in her speech
and manner, she made constant effort to
attain the standard which might bring
her nearer to an equality with her future
husband. The struggle was not easy.
There were trials of pride in studying
with girls of a more youthful age; there
were many moments of mortification
from the exposure of her ignorance.
Determination to succeed won its
usual rewards. The young society
girl, whose bright - mind had been
eclipsed by the routine of pleasure,
became renowned in the school as one of
the most earnest and satisfactory pupils.
When she graduated this year into the
refined home that has been in preparation
for her she will meet her husband upon
an equality, and entertain his friends
with a feeling of cheerful confidence.
She says that the whole world seems
more stable since she has been sure that
Wer santences are grammatical and her
pronunciation tar-cording to the best
authorities.—Boston Journal.
Bill Snort's Letter.
BY ALEX. E   SWEET.
TEEMS Ot SUBSCRlFTIO>.
ONE YEAR.        -        -        SI.SO
1NVAU1ABL.V III ADVANCK.
I3T The above rate includes payment
of postage by as. Subscriptions can
commence any time during tbe year
Subscribe (or
year*
the Advertiser $1.50 a
Svkdicatk Cottage bt the Sea, )
August 2.1, 1801. $
To Major Dm Mc Gary, Houston, lem.:
My Deah Dan:— All Washington
and Cape May are agog about tte latest
presidential family scandal. l>r. Scott,
Mrs. Harrison's father, ttm left for Itort-
land, Oregon, where be will live with his
son, Judge Scott. Mrs. Harrison's fatber is 93 years old, and he alleges lhat
he was literally chased out of tbe White
House by bis daughter Carrie, a month
or so ago, since which time he has wrestled with hk hash in a Washington
boarding-house. The tongues of Washington society ate wagging at the rate of
.'5,uoo oscillations a uiiuule about Mrs.
Harrison's cruelty to her aged father.
There are however two sides of the
r«ty. Knowing Harrison as I do, I have,
of course, not got mucb of an opiuion of
him, but when I remember what be has
suffered in mind and purse from the
youthful indiscretions of Russ and the
aged absuidities of his wife's father, 1
can't help feeling sorry for him. He
complains that relative speaking, he is
the worst afflicted Presideut the United
States has ever had.
When Job tiguied as a boil emporium,
be was at least spai ed the misery or having a gabby sou and a frisky old faiher-
ln-law who is a burlesque on all types of
.1$' »arrison has botb. As neither
of the nuisances show any signs of abating it is no wonder that Harrison is beginning to have doubts about his wanting a second tens.
When Harrison was inaugurated old
Ur. .scott was given a $1,000 a year position in the pension Bureau, where the
hardest work he had to do was drawing
his pension. The old gentleman is as spry
as a cricket and cackles as incessantly as
a pullet that has laid her first egg. He
was at one time a minister of the Gospel,
and is still ostentatiously pious. I suppose bis title of Doctor comes from his
being* D. D. He used to talk by the
hour to the clerks about his family affairs, and his "darter Carrie," and how
she came to marry that jack-legged lawyer, Ben Harrison. The other clerks
would drop their playthings to cluster
around old Doc Scott and listen to his
reminiscences of the family history of the
Harrisons and the Scotts. It was really
very entertaining. The old gentleman
had a gnevancd against Mr. and Mrs.
Harrison for not giving him a better
position, and inviting him to board at the
""'te House. In his conversations at
the Pension Pension Bureau he showed
them ap in no enviable light. On one
occasion be said:
. "1° •?* "y darter, Carrie, and her
husband put on frills jest makes me
laugh. To hear Carrie talk about blue
blood, you would think we used to run a
slaughter-house. Talk about the Harrisons teing elevati-d, there was one of
them who was hung in Missouri for stealing a hoss, and I know of another Mrs.
Harrison who used to take in washing,
while her husband studied natural history
as an elephant attendant in a cheap circus. Talking about Prince Russel, as
they call him, I was stopping with my
darter when Russ was ababy, and he was
Prince of Wails then sure enough, for he
did nothing but bawl. However, Russ
:s not a bad egg. He is too fresh for that.
Thus did the president's father-in-law
beguile away the weary hours with merry
jest and.quip at tbe expense of bis Illustrious daughter and her husband. Tbere
was very little work done in the Pension
Bureau when old Doc Scott got to spinning yarns about the early history of the
family, wbich soon became common
property in Washington.
The president did not know why every
body smiled wben he passed, but I enlightened him one day. We were walking
past the Pension Building when we heard
a sort of a subdued roar, such as is heard
at the base-ball grounds when a home
run is made.
" VV hat is that noise 1"' asked Harrison.
I explained to the president that bis
father-in-law was probably telling the
clerks in tbe Pension Bureau rome funny
story about the president courting his
"darter Carrie," and they were having a
good laugh over it Well, you should
have seen Harrison make tracks for the
White House. His coat-tails stood out
so straight and rigid that you could have
played checkers witb five-pound weights
on tbem. Tbere was a stormy interview
with Mrs. Harrison, and next day old
Doc i-Scott was taken out of the Pension
Bureau and given a room to the White
House.
Mrs. Harrison's father was not long in
the White House before we all began to
wish that we had left him wbere he was.
I was detailed to take charge of him and
head off whenever there was danger of
his disgracing the administration. O-t-a.
of bis hobbies is pedestrianism. He was
disposed to take long walks, and «I encouraged hia la it. Wanamaker, who
is a sacrilegious cuss, told me that, taking
his walking mania, his great age, and his
fervent piety into consideration, Mrs.
Harrison's father should have been called
Enoch, because Enoch walked with God
300 years. Pretty good, coming from a
Sunday-school Superintendent.
Mrs. Harrison's father took a malicious
delight ia telling the representatives of
the crowned heads of Europe ail about
his early struggles with poverty, how hie
wife had to borrow parched coffee, ete,
from the neighbors until they kicked.
He also insisted on being present at a
state oinner, although I did my best to
get him to take a walk. At the dinner
be impaled an orange on his fork, and
the way he flayed it reminded me of skinning a dead terse. He detailed choice
bits of family history, bat I, assisted by
some other true friends of the administration, kept up such a clatter oa our
plates with oar knives and forks that he
eould not be heard.
After dinner the company went lata
t*ie Blue Room. The President, Mrs.
Harrison and Sir Julian Paunceforte, tte
English Minister, and myself were talking
about tte genealogy of the De Snort
famil), who came over to England witb
William tte Conqueror, when the
wretched old pelican pot in bis oar. M rs.
Harrison looked at me appealingly, while
the President studied the frescoes on the
ceiling in mute despair.
"Come, Mr. Scott, let us take a wall,"
sa id I, trying to lead Ida off.
"Wait until I tell a funny little stirv.
It occurred in 1825, tte year Carrie here
was born."
'•Ahem I" says I ont loud.
I also bad a violent spell ef coughing,
and Sir Julian pat on his eye-glass and
studied tte Presidential father-in-law
with great interest. Ira spite of all we
could do he told a yarn about, his having
been in swimming and when te came
out his clothes were gone.
"Yes, Sir Julian." he said, paw ing ber
Majesty's representative. *_] hope I may
be gosh swingled if there was a rag of
clothes between me and tbe heartless jeers
of about fort; people coming down tiie
road oa their way to church, except a
chest protector. Pll tell you how I fixed
it.   I tied tbat chest pro——"
I bad never touched a piano in my life,
but I prevented tte finale of the story,
f ro.n being heard by banging on the piano
like a blacksmith. I was subsequently
congratulated by several musical people
who were present and who insisted lhat
I bad executed Wagner's Gcetterd-emme-
: ung in a masterly manner. Mrs. Hai rison also thanked me with tears in her
eyes, and tte President silently pressed
my hand.
Ever since that occasion the relations
between Mis. Harrison and her father
have been more or less strained. As for
Harrison, he told me bub for the consolations of religion and a knowledge tbat
tbe old gentleman can't last much longer,
he would not be able to bear up nnder
the affliction. How anybody could be
in the sere and yellow leaf and so awful
green at tbe same time was beyoud his
comprehension.
I bad a talk with old Doctor Scott in
the parlor of his boarding-housr. He is
very bitter.   He said:
"It is what tbe public don't know about
that insinuating Uttle whiffet. Harrison,
that makes him respectable. You might
as well look for a tear ta the eye of a corpse
as to find gratitude in a Hoosier, anyhow.
When I went to tbe Wbite House tbey
stuffed me Into a little hole in the wall
that was so small tbat when I knelt to
say my orisons at nigbt my legs stuck
out two feet in the hall, so that people
used to stumble over them. They even
chased me out of that den when they had
visitors. I expected every night for them
to stick a pole out of one of the windows
aad ask me to roost oa that. Thai's
what you get when yoa have, tte hard
luck Ut be the father uf "the first lady in
the land.** Carrie may have been lwue-
fited by marrying little Benny Harrison,
but it tes doue ter old dad ao good,
"However,"continued theold gentleman,
winking at a pretty treasury giil who
stuck her bead iu the door to set a peep
at the great Texan, "wheu I marry again
and have darters I'll be more particular
who I tet them associate with. Yea,
Harrison compromises hi-idebt of ara*.-
tudeal live cents on the dollar and expects
me to wn ble pa-ans of thanksgiving.
Narv i lean from this aged sei vant of the
Lord, "etc.
But the maddest member of tlie family
is tbe Presidential sou. The lauguage he
used to the Herald reporter was Sunday-
school talk to what te Bays wheu his
maternal grandfather's name ie mentioned. There isa beautiful, sulphuric
halo around his head wheu ltuss Harrison
attacks tl.e old geutleman wilh the ste. in-
shovel of turgid eloquence:
"The — —— old fraud, to spring
tbe old King Lear rachel uu maw ihis
way I I have no use fur the whole ——
breed of Scotts. I wonder wby in ——
paw married  int* that family, anyhow.
It looks as tf te married the whole	
family. Old L)oc Scott always has been
a —— old mildewed pauper, and now
te \t_ talking of going to a home for indigent ministers, just to make us feel
bad, the mendicant I' etc.
Yours for Reform,    _^
.."_, Bill Snort.
NAMES   FOR    CARS.
Their    tDl-aolc.   a   Task   That   Worrlaa
Railroad   |M_tl_l_
There is a young man ia one of the
offices of each of the great sleeping car
companies who is engaged every day,
except Sunday, of course, in bending
over an atlas searching for suitable names
for the sleeping, dining, and parlor
coaches which are turned out by the
company, ft is no small matter when
you come to understand that every same
must signify something, and that there
are already mi the road many hundreds
of such coaches and new ones being
turned out at the rate of two or three
hundred a year. When the first sleepers
were bnilt the owners took the alphabet,
lettering the first one "A," and so oa
until the alphabet run out. Tben commenced the search for names. The first
sleepers to be named were those run oa
the Pennsylvania limited between New
York and Chicago. They were named
for the various nations, America being
the first one chosen. Tbe original sleepers are (those first named) America, England, France, Russia,Scotland, Germany,
and so on.
The next names were taken from the
various towns through which the road
runs. V* the road was in Ohio, for example, the sleepers on such roads were
named for some of the principal towns
and cities in that Stats. This plan, how-
ever, was soon deemed unadvisable, as it
sometimes becomes necessary to transfer
the sleepers to roads in other States.
Then came the plan of naming the
coaches after the sections of the country.
Those which run on the roads of the
West were given Indian names.
As far as possible it is now the rule for
tlie names of the palace coaches to beat
some relation to the nature of the business in tlie section where sleepers run.
For instance, on the roads running out
of Washington there are such names on
the sleepers as "Senator," "Diplomate,"
"Congress," etc.
On a few lines which traverse noted
battlefields some of the sleepers are
named in honor of famous generals.
The books of one of the principal companies show that Achilles, Ajax, and
Ulysses have been honored on wheels.
The present is an age of colleges.
These institutions have associated with
tiieir curriculum boating, football, and
other athletic exercises. This same company concluded for awhile to embalm
the names of the leading literary institutions by painting their names on their
sleeping cars. This was the most popular idea which the company had adopted.
But there is a limit to noted schools in
America, just as there is a limit to the
alphabet, and it w - soon discovered that
there were not enou ;h colleges to go
round, or, which wa< the same tiling,
there were too many sleeping cars.
Then comin. need che hunt on tlie atlas
for names. The system of naming is
now followi d in this manner: A young
man is employed to make oat an alphabetical list from tbe atlas. Having selected his name, lie goes to the root of it,
and ascertains its origin and significance.
When a list is pep red it is passed to
the vice president of the company, who
adopts or rejects.
Sometimes suggestions are sent in by
outsiders. They are filed away, and if
any of the names thus suggested are
adopted in the course of construction
they find their way to the gate of tte
traveling public.
Dining cars are named, as far as the
names signify, for rivers, lakes, and bays.
In the West for Indian chiefs. Parlor
cars are nearly always feminine in nomenclature. The mythological deities
on the feminine side have been liberally
honored. The names of some of the
more notable female characters in history
and fiction have been transferred to these
palace cars of tlie rail.
The instruction to tte young man
whose business it is to keep up the list is
to get short names where they have any
significance, keeping in mind at the same
time those which are most euphoneous.
This is a busy age. It not only costs
less to paint a short name, but you do
not want to stop to read or write such a
word as Assiniboine when there are so
many shorter ones, and ones which are
so much smoother to speak and which
mean more.
The naming of these care is no small
job, and the man who has triplets to
christen is not half so much worried
about names as the vice president of a
sleeping car company.—Chicago Tribune,
IIow Certain Fiahei Eat.
The carp carries his teeth back in his
throat, ao that when he has a sore throat
ne does not know whether to send for the
doctor or the dentist.
The horseshoe crab chews its food with
its legs, which is a very curious tiling
even for a crab to do, while the oyster
feeds with its beard.
The jelly fish hasn't any teeth, but
uses himself just as if he were a piece of
paper when he is hungry, getting his
food and then wrapping himself about it.
The starfish, on the contrary, turns
bimself inside out and wraps his food
around him, and stays that way until he
bas had enough.—Harper's Young People.
Aat    Aluminium    Boat.
An aluminium boat, propelled by electricity from an aluminium battery, is
being constructed by the inventor, D. J.
Cable, of Pittsburg, Pa. The battery,
Mr. Cable says, will weigh but a couple
of pounds, and will be sufficient to produce the power necessary for running a
pleasure boat of good sizes A boat of
this metal capable of carrying from four
to six persons can be made of a weight
not exceeding 60 or 70 pounds, and
would be very easily handled. Mr.
Cable states that he has found means of
overcoming the great difficulty alumiftf
iuni presents to soldering. ,
J