The Conshohocken Recorder, July 15, 1892

              THE WEEKLY RECORDER.
VOL. XXIII, NO. 19. CONHHOUOCKKN, PA., FltlDAY, JULY 15, 1892. $1.00 PER YEAR IN ADVANCE.
A SONG OF YOUTH.
lAMftMd the youth. "lyivcV silken chain
Hath luxlmrui fur sM
When the sTfcola worM I luayixalis-
IJfo U IxiTo," quoth bo.
"Love Is bUndlo*," cried tbo youlb:
"From l-OVc's alUr lln10
Rlaca imoka that alnita nut truth.
Hide* l.irV. bltfh drairoa,
"Daphne of tlw woodland ahrlne,
I'hylllaof tlf
8c«k to iroo KIIII araidlvtovi
Hut t<> Doa« I yield."
Kroa drat lauffbwl at bU words.
Then tb« atod grew wroth.
Liku tb« wblr of huuiii.iiiK birds
%KH1 tin- arrow forth.
Wber« IIyixitln of tbo school
TtiUtfhl ■UkMBphjr.
Brnt tbo youth l>cforo her stool.
DM !ur km praj*4 ha.
Likouiiinl with brokan wlu^s.
Which diu-i-a uut tfl BftOY< ,
nil iii to ibstnot iliiuus,
Ufa barafl D| I
"Lovolallfr." the poor youth pru\cd,
"All the world thou art,"
While the fair PUtOQlo muld
Smiled, but owiii'd no In art.
Kroa lau«hed. "Thin U the euro
Of the ■04Si**0ri0d he.
"Woo thtnka Low doea not radon
! 'tnil* philosophy."
-rUvol sMOU MIUM ill Harp, r > W
MAJOR NAMBY.
1 am a aluRlo Italy ifagll. >°" "'1'
plena*.* to understand, entirely hwMUJM I
have refused many excellent offers, l'ruy
don't Imagine from this that I urn old.
fionie womon * olTera como ut I0B8 tnttr-
VUIH. and other womeii'ti offer* DOOM I
together. Mine MUM rcii.iirki.My close
together—ao of course I ntimot pOMlbl|
be old. Not that I presume todescrtlw
myself as Absolutely young, eith.i 10
DtUch depends ou people's jioiuta of view.
I have heurd fomulu children of t lie ages
of eighteen or nineteen culled \oung i:i-dies.
This seems to me to IK; ridiculous—
and I have held that opinion, without OttOf
wavering from It, for more than ten yawl
past. It Is, ufter all, u qucHtlou of (wHlttfc
HIHI -HIIAII I confesH itr— I feel so young!
I live in the aulmrb*, and 1 have bOQffht
my house. The major llv,-s in tin- -uluirhs.
nextdoor to me, and be has boughtl.il
bouae. I don't object lotlii-. uf course. 1
no-rely tu>-ntioii it to DMUMttungtal raight.
Major Niunhy has been twin- niarri.d.
i lln it rat wife—4ear, dear! how ran 1 ex-pnvw
itr Shall I say, with vulgar abrupt-am,
thAt his llrst wife had a family? And
must I descend into particulars and add
that they Are four in numIK.-r and that two
of them Are twins* Well, the wonU ftfl
written; and if they will do over again far
the same purpose, I beg to repeat them
In reference to the second Mrs. Namby
(still alive), who Also bad a family, and m
—no, 1 really cauuot say, Is likely to go OR
having one. There are certain limits in a
case of tbla kind, and I think I have
reached them. I'urmU me simply to state
that the second -Mrs. N'umhy has talM
■Mldftft at present. These, with the fln*t
Mrs. Nainby'a four, make a total of seven.
Tbe seven uru coln|KSieil of live girls ami
two boy*. And the lirst Mr-. Nand»y's
family all have one particular kind of c.in-stitution,
and the MQODd Mrs. Nainhy's
family nil have another particular kind of
constitution. 1-ct tne explain oneo PMfO
that I inertly mention theso little matters.
and that I don't object to them.
My complaint against Major N'amby IH,
In plain terms, that be transacts the whole
of his domestic business m his front
gulden. Whether it nrises from natural
weakness of mem >ry. from total want uf a
seuse of propriety, or from a condition of
mind which is closely allied to madness of
the eccentric sort. I cannot say, but the
major certainly does some times partially
ami sometimes entirely forgot his private
family matters, and the neceasary direc-tions
couuectcd with them while he la
Inside the bouse, and dotJ habitually rv-meuilier
them and repair nil omissions by
I taw ling through hlswiudows at the top
of his voice as soon as he gets outside the
house. It uevor seems to occur to him
that be might advantageously return in-doors,
anil there mention what he has for-gotten
iu a private and pro|M.'r way.
The instant the lost idea strikes him,
which it invariably dooo cither in bis front
garden or In the roadway outside his
liousc. be ronrs for his wife, cither from
the gravi'l walk, or over t lie low wall, and
<lf I may use so Strom* an expression)
empties his mind to hrr in public, without
npiH-ariug to care whose ears he wearies,
whose delicai v h«- ibackl or arhOM ridicule
lie Invitci. If the man is not mad. bis own
small family fusses Juivc lukm such com-plete
ptMwettslon of all liis seiiHes that be is
fpiile Incapable of nothing am thing Oloo,
HIMI perfectly imi>enetrahte to the opinions
of his neighbor*. Let me show that tin-grievance
of wldt'li I complain is Doallgbt
one by giving a few examples of the gen-eral
persecution that I Buffer and the oc-casional
shocks that are administered to
my delicacy at the coarse hands of Major
.N'auiby.
We will say It la a fine warm morning.
lam Hitting In my front room, with the
window open, absorbed over a deeply in-tenatiDH
book. I hear the door of the
uext bouae baug: I hsik up and see the
major descending the steps into his front
garden.
He walka—no. he murches -half way
down the front garden path, with his load
high Iu the air and his chest atuek out,
and his military cane Ji.n . Ij Ihairisii.-d iu
his right haml. Suddenly he stops, stamps
with one foot, knocks up the hinder part
of the brim of bis extremely early bat with
his left hand and Isgin* to scratch ai that
singularly disagreeable looking roll of fat
red hVsh in the back of bis neck (which
scratching, 1 may observe. In parent In *c*.
Ja always a sure sign, in thecaae of this
fcurrld man, that a h'H domes!ir idea I.a*
suddenly come buck to him*, lie wails a
moment In the ridiculous position just de-scribed,
then wheels around on bis heel,
looka up at the lirst Moor window, and. in-stead
of going back into the house to men-tion
what he has forgotten, bftwla out
iieri'i lv from the middle of the walk;
'•Matilda!*'
i I bear hie wife's voice—a shockingly
aliriU one; but what can you expect Of *
■—iir who has been seen, over and over
atMiexiu* slatternly, striped wrapper as
ImLr ***'.' o'clock iu the afternoon* 1 hear
hi» wlfr'n voice answer from inside the km
I "Vaa, dear.M
"I said it waaa south wind."
"Yc dear."
i "It isn't A south wlud."
'•Ix>r\ dear,"
"It's a sou'east. I won't havo Gcorgiua
taken out today. Uhsirgina Is one of the
first Mrs. Namby's^amily, and they are
all weak In the chest.) WWff-'a uursu*"
■ "Hare, air."
' "Nurse, 1 won't have Jack allowvtl to
run. Whenever that boy perspires be
oatciies cold. Hang up his hoop. If he
cries, lake him Into my dnwrfnn room ami
•how him the birch roil. Matibln'"
"Yes. dear."
"What the devil do they iiuan by daub
Ing all that givit-e over Mary'- hair! It's
IbcAStly to see it -do you Inn in.t-lly!
V'bere's Paubyr" Pambr is tlw anfoi
vuuale Workwoman who makoo and mends
toe family linen
"Hire. ■Jr."
"Pamby, what are you about now*"
\o answer. I'uniby or BoniObody else
giggles faintly The major (louri-hs his
lane in a fury.
"Why the devil don't you aiia*A< r B»6r
time living. Will :uiy sensitive pWIUO
afprcially a pen-on of my ov, n s,.\ plaaM
to imagflM what 1 must suffer as a deli
vale llngl : aVIllg all tl.,
itradod on my attention,
whether t t oi not. m the major's
and in the shrill an
the woman inside* it
kkli i ri of par
s-eiitioii when one Is alone, but it Is far
worn* to be axpoaod to it as I am con
o n v. nation !■ tminia—iiily Intarrapted,
whoan em r.h nhooked, « hoae
U ily shoil
r Nimbi's public way of
-:■■!■« te ooBoemn,
,e other day my old, dear and
m(M«t valued friend. Lady Malkiiubaw, wiw
Bitting with me, and was entering at great
length into the intere-ting story of her
|eoond daaghter*i unhappy marriage en
:*. and of the dignitleil manior MI
nilv ultimately broke it off
For a <;■ boor or eo our Inter
dellghtfnlly nnlnter
0i that time, however,
w tlkinahaw, with the teal*
in in r w i nnlng to datorlbe the
f her daughter's drejulful di.-ap
p-iiiituunt on the poor girl's mind and
>oi .-. I heard the door of the major's house
it usual, and. looking out of the
window in despair, saw the major himself
strut half waj down the walk, slop, scratch
violently at his roll of red flesh, wheel
around MO as to foot the house, consider a
hub', pull his tablets out of his waistcoat
[i teket, shake Ins bead orer them and then
U the front windows, preparatory
to bawling as usual at the degraded female
nembeie of bis honaehoML 1-iuly Malkin-shaw.
unite ignorant of what was coming,
: at the same moment to la- pro-witfa
be* pathetic atory in tneaa
terms:
"Done | . r boh -hip "DoOel
All tual li moat nnfrierall]
ram able, moat unladylike^ moat"
Hal hal ed the major.
■houtlng her ladyehlpdown and itamplni
aUml theganbn in Hte of fund .
laughter. "Bill, in) boy, ho«
I Tuik for \ou' 1 'ill1 up
I waul to -
Lady 3il imed and roalied
to the door. I mnh Into a onali and
cleaned mj k I pair.
"Ila: hal ba a a a ' What valws tb«
I Pambyl look at fa
- legs are the
rm del of ids fattu i '■ I The Namhy build,
Matilda! the Nainb\ build, ewry inch of
him. Kick again. Bill kirk out like
mad. 1 say. ma'am ! I beg your pardon
ma'am ! "
"Ma'am!" 1 ran to Ike window Wu-the
major actually daring to
Malkhishnw as ahe p uitly on
bar waj out down mj rroni eard H*
waal The odious monatei wae pointing
out hie—his, what shall I Mj v his un-draned
offspring to tbanotieaof my oui
raged rial
"(jook at him, ma'am. li yon*i ■ Jndge
of children, look at him. There's a two
year-older for \oii ' Ha ! ha I '
show the lady yogi lega, Bill kkk oni
lor the lady.jou dog, kick our :" Wilkie
CoUlne.
linproloilile, hut True.
Novel writers are often Idamed for
nmklnu' the plots of their ■toriea turn
upon slight chances and improbable inci-dents,
but they may easily retort that it is
Ufeand literal faol which furnlahapparent
impnibahility. What incident in notion
could Is* more extraonlinary than that
Which history record-a- l lie dehrl ion of a
ronpeoted "slaver" in the last tentury?
In i*w the cutter Bparrow brought the
"I do assure you, my poor, dear girl be- brig Nancy into harbor at Kingston,
Jamaica, under the suspicion that ifae was
engaged iu the llava trade. Hut, although
many clrcumataocee pointed to this fact
no clear proof could la* obtained, as the
brig had no paper- (TOM whh h the ohaTg*
could be substnntiated. '1 he su pected
vessel was tin I. loi.: dischurgisl, but tllU
day before SOS left the harbor a man-of-war
arrived, bringing Some documents
which clearly proved her guilt.
These jm|H'n* bad been obtained In a
"highly improbable manner." Whil.'cruis-ing
oil Santo Domingo, thecrewof theman-ofwar
had amused themselves by Ashing
for sharks. One monster was captured
and cut upon deck, and iu its stomach was
found a bundle of ship's papers, the very
documents flung overboard by the cnptgtfl
of lbs Nancy when he wan (warded by the
Sparrow.
Curiosity led the captain of the man-of-war
loclean and examine the papers, and
the result was that he brought them before
the authorities at the nearest port. The
unlucky brig was condemned on this ro-mantically
act)uired evidence.— Youth's
Companion.
One two t brio. PllUl-pr
leave the house.
ky, what are you about now?"
•If you pleaae, sir, I'm doing eoin*
tbing"—
■•Something particular for baby. sir.
••Drop It directly whatever.tia. Nurse!'
"NHntMho croA-lugs. Dou't let the chil-
Mren sit down if they are hot Don t let
them-peak to.he other chddren. lout
kg tbemgat playing with itrjngs dogs.
IhH,'t let them mess their things And
abov.n.1). don't bring Master Jack bark m
A porapiratitni Is there anything more be-fore
I gooufcf"
"No. air."
"Matilda, Is then, auylhing morcf
"No, dear."
"fainby, it there anything nioraP"
•'r."
; , ldomeetlocolloouT ends tor the
haeed throughout with the heroism of a
martyr when I had told her of the vile
wretch's behavior, breaking it to her as
gently as I possibly could, and when she
bad a little recovered I sued to her"
"Matilda!"
The major's rasping voice sounded louder
than ever as he Iwwled out that dreadful
name Ju.st at the wrong moment. Lady
Malkiu-liaw started as If she had Wen
shot. I put down the window in despair;
but the glass was no protection to our enr*
- Major Namby can roar through a brick
wall. I apologised*—1 declared aolemnly
tbal my next door neighbor waa mad—I
I Lady Malkinshaw to take no
notice and to go ou. That sweet woman
complied. 1 bum with indignation when
I think of what followed. Every word
from the Nambys'garden (which I distin-guish
below by parenthesea) came, very
•light!) uiul'ded by the window, straight
into my room and mixed Itself up with her
ladyship's story in this inexpressibly ridic-ulous
and Impertinent manner:
Well," my kind and valued friend pro-ceeded,
"us I was telliug you, when the
lirsi naturul btlrat of sorrow waa over, I
-aid to her"
"Yes. dear Lady Malkinshaw," I mur-mured
encouragingly.
"I said to her"
("Hv .lingo, I've forgotten something:
Mali)..a! when 1 made my memorandum
of errands, how many had I to dot")
" 'My dearest, darling child,' 1 said"
("Pamby: how many errands did your
mistress glee me to dor*')
■1 sad. -My dearest, darling child' "
(•'Nilreal how many Trruuds did your
mistiv— give me todof")
" "My own lovi-,' 1 said"
("Fooul Pooh) I tell you, I had four er-rands
to do and I've only got three of 'ein
written down. Cluck me off, all of you—
I'm |[olng to read my errands.")
"'Your own proper pride, love,'I said,
'will ftUgguat to you','^—
("Gray powder for baby.")
"The neouealty of making up your
mind, my Sngel, to' "
"!o w tit plumber for infamous condi-tion
of buck kitchen sink.";
" 'To return all the wretch's letters,
and'"
("Speak to the hul«erdashur about patch-k*
S shirts.")
"'All bis litters and presents, darling.
You need only make them up Into a parcel
d inside' "
|] Lai li thai alU")
*' 'And write Inalde"1
("Pain by I is that allr")
" 'And write inside' "
(•: urael i- thai nllr")
" '1 have my mother's sanction for
making one last request to you. It la
' —
I " What have the cbildieii got for dinner
"It i- tl.i.s: BetUrn ine my letters, aa I
have u ui rued yours. You will find iu-
■'
( "A ■boulder of mutton and onion
■aUU't And s devilish g«ssi dinner too.")
The vourae wretch roared out those laat
_: woids cheerfnlly at the top of
lii- voiae. Hitherto Lady Malkinshaw luui
I b»r temper with the patience of
an angel; ' Ut ihe U-gau—and who can
w oudi r *- to lose it at last.
"It in really Impossible, my dear," ahe
aajd, rising Ironi her chair, "to continue
any louversutiou while that very intoler-able
person persist* in talking to bis fam-ily
from his front garden. No: 1 really
cannot goon I cannot indeed."
Juat as ! vu spologlslnsj to my sweet
friend for the second time, 1 observed, to
ini tfrent relief (having my eye etlll on the
window)* that the oilious major had ap-parvutlj
come to the end of his dume>.iic
business for tlutt morning, and hail made
up hie mtnd at lust to relieve ua of bis
presence. 1 distinctly saw him put bli
tablets back into his pocket, wheel around
■gain on his heel and march straight to
the garden gate. I waited until be bad
bis hand on the lock to open It, sod then,
when 1 fell that WS were quite aafe, I In-formed
dear Lady Malkinshaw that my de>
teatable neighbor bad at last taken him-self
off, and. throwing open the wiudow
UK tin t0 -■ i a little fresh air, begged and
I her lo oblige me by resuming
t be charming conversation.
"Where was I?" inquired my dlstin-miMioil
friend.
"You were telling me what you recom-mended
your poor darling to write inside
her tnclosnrv," I answered.
"Ah. yes- so 1 waa. Well, my dear, she
controlled herself by an admirable effort,
and wrote exactly what I told her. You
will excuse a mother'e partiality, I am
sure—but I think 1 never aaw ber look so
lofsly no mournfully lovely—1 should
any*se when she waa writing thoaw last
line* ti- ib« man who bad so basely trilled
with her. The team came into my eyes aa
I looked at her sweet, pale cheeks, and 1
thought to myself"
(Nurse! which of the children was sick
last nine, after eating onion eaucef")
He bad OOme back again*—the monster
had como back again from the garden
gau to shout that unwarrantable, atro-cjoiis
qut stion In at his nursery window!
I.ady Malkinshaw bounced off ber chair
at ihe lirst note of his horrible voice and
i banged toward me instantly—aa If It had
liven my fault—in the moat alarming and
Unexpected manner. Her ladyship's face
became awfully red; her ladyship's head
trembled excessively; her ladyship's eyes
looked atraigbt into mlue with an indescrib-able
llercer: Itt
"Why am I thus Insulted*" Inquired
I.ady Malkinshaw, with a slow and digni-fied
stsrnnaw which froze the blood iu my
vein-. "What do you mean by ltv" con-tinued
her ladyship, with n sudden rapid*
|ty of utter nice that quite took my breath
•WSJ
Before I could remoiihtrate with my
friend for vt-itingher natural Irritation on
(Msir Innocent mo, Isjfore I SMild declare
that I had seen the major actually open
bla gardi □ gate to go away, the provoking
brute's voice bural in on us again.
"11a. ye-'" e/ebesrd hi<u growl to him-
Hclf in a kind of shameless domestic so-llloqoy,
"Yes, yes, yss Sophy was ejek,
t,i be sure. Curious. All Mm. Numby's
step.d.ildr.n hare wsak chesu and strong
■tomachs. All Mrs. Nainby'e own chil-dren
have weak stomachs and strong
1 have a strong stomach aud a
strong chest. I'alilby!"
■ i consider this," continued Lady Mal-kin-
baw, literally glaring at me In the
fullness of ber indiscriminate cxaspcratiun
1 consider this to be unwarrantable
and unladylike, 1 l*cg to know"
"Where's Liillr" burst in the raajorfroin
below before she could acid another word.
"Matilda! Nurasl Psmbyl where'* Bill?
Idldn'l Md BUI goodhy—hold him up at
the window, onS of you I'
"My dear Lady Malkinshaw," I remon-strated,
"why
HU lagaleltlveaeea HaiuibsS.
On the ^ iahtngtoa street tlds of the
I iteni metal garfasgs
; ■!, ami approral
uf the hi h is HO con-tha
fence with the
hopuoi • ' Iw \ .od In operation iii> s» tr<
enu'er Intbenlle) pulls the hopper toward
him, and i danosd "ii Ita Inverted spas M
s« m^- through the opening lo the fuaca,
The ens ou public exhibition attracts
more or less attention, and .-very few tiio-ui.
ins some man stop-, rands the advertis-ing
mailer stenciled OU it and then pulls
the hopper toward him.
Trniwna enough for the nswsboya and
bootblacki of that locality. One of ihe
smallest, dirtiest, hmdesi voiced and weak-adarJ
<<{ the lot raised the lid and in it jllty
was bidden In the hopper.
Wit hin two minutes a man with a well
developed hump of curiosity sauntered by,
He e*w the garbage IK>.\; be read the sign;
I with the handle, and the
unlnshugged one another iii sn
BCStas] o( aiitii-ipatiou. The man pulled
the hopp« r forward sn Inch or so, and then,
with a determination to see it all. yanked
It out 10 if limit. With a wild shriek,
distorted features, outstretched arms and
radiating lingers the human jack in-the
IKM suddenly shot Up before the Ulislis-pectlng
victim. With an answering yell
lie recoiled a few feet, too Startled to do
anything bul ■wear, while the newsboys
and bootblacks danced wildly around him.
and one u'oat, large, round roarof laughter
nroa* from Washington street.—Chicago
News Kccord.
Not on the Itraeon's I.lu*.
The two yoang men had induced the
deacon to take his lirst Turkish bath.
They had gotten him properly attired, or
rather unattired, and bad conducted bim
into the hotrooin.
Tho deacon didn't enjoy It, but he waa
game, lie rolled around nervously on bis
cot, and every time he moved be seemed to
strike a hotter spot Hut he stood it like a
man until the perspiration mode rivulets
Innumerable in running off him. Then he
lifted himself up on his elbow and said
plaintively:
"Let's get out of this."
But the young men only laughed and
told him to keep quiet; that it was just
getting comfortable.
When he finally absolutely refused to
stand it any longer they led him into the
steamrooui and aat down to gossip and
enjoy his discomfiture aa he felt himself
slowly boiling away.
And the deacon seemed Inclined to lose
his temper. It was aggravating to be so
extremely uncomfortable when they were
apparently enjoying themselves, aud would
offer bim no means of escape that would,
to say the least, be dignified.
But there was an end to it; he got out,
and as he looked "more in sorrow than in
anger" from one to the other of them, one
asked:
"Well, deacon, what do you think of lit"
The deacon replied Hnlemnl> and with
all due dignity, but rather pointedly:
"It's a good thing, young man; it's a re-markably
good thing for some pa pie who
need to suitably prepare the mires for
the hereafter, but for my part 1 SJ I glad to
get on tho surface of the earth gain."—
Chicago Tribune.
Asiatic Traces In Polynesia.
The late Mr. Hundley Sterndale fur-nished
his brother. It. Sterndale, with a
number of observations made during his
bum residence in tho remote islands of
Polynesia. Me ilescrlla*d the early people
of the Carolines as builders of cyclopedian
towers and pyramids. Tho settlement of
the great mountain groups, he stated, was
affsotsd by the orguul/.cd migrations of
anvage navigators lighting their way from
land to land and carrying with them their
families, household goods and the seeds of
plants and trees. The copper colored na-tives
of eastern Asia spread In the course
of ages to tho Caroline group, and were
the projectors of Palaoa, Uarbudos, Horn-bres,
Illancos ajul other families of gentler
barbarians. These were followed by au-otiici
exodus of a kindred race, ferocious
and pugnacious Iu the extreme, who were
the builders of I ho monuments.
That these people were greatly Impressed
with their religion is evident from the
architecture of their temples, immense
Quadrangular paved IncUsmres, surround-ed
by lofty walls, and containing within
thrill terrace.-and pyramids, and frequent-ly
artificial caverns aud subterraneous
passages. He thought it probable the
American continent was Influenced by the
HUns migrations from Asia which gave
the ooppsr colored races to Polynesia.—
Philadelphia Ix-dger.
i\ JOO YOU
COUCH
DON'T OELAY
ItOnrei Ctl«i.Ceiigsi 8«r»Thro»t,CrMp.IsflMsi»,
WboopiU Coufh.lraseMtiiti.1 A«thi»a. A ctruui
Coniiimptii
latliri «<*i;<tliiiu. Lfttja h
s«i4 »r ,,u ■ 1 jl.JU.
SULPHUR
BITTERS
TRUTHS E? SICK.
A Precious I'ulr or Imposture.
Bosna, Drookwsll park. A curious and
sympathetic crowd around a girl of oh vcti
or thereabout, who Is crying bitterly and
SOOOstag a low looking woman of having
stoleu sixpence from her. The woman,
wdm strongly denies the olTcuse, edges
away, taking with her tho maledictions of
some laltorers' wives, and the child, whose
eyes are inflamed, cheeks red and throat
hoarsu with crying, is left standing against
a wall sobbing violently. t)n coming upon
the scene I gave the girl sixpence, sent her
off home and continued my walk.
Turning back a moment or two later I
met a constable aud d- t ailed the clrcum-htances.
I suggested with all the respect
due from a mere ratepayer to a Isjbby that
he might keep his eye open for tho woman.
"Oh, ma'am," said Uobert indignantly, "I
knows the woman. I only wish I could set
my eyes on her; I'll do what I can. It's a
plant, ma'am, a plant, and an old uu too.
She and that there girl bus worked it lota
of time. She's a bad un!" A word to ten-der
hearted strollers is enough.—Cor. Pall
MnJlGsaetts,
Music sod Health.
I am strongly of opinion that vocal music
Is conducive to health, and I believe that
if children, particularly girls, wars to de-vote
more time to slnglug there would be
fewer victims to chest complaints, for such
an exercise must tend to develop tho
organs of the chest. Uf course it might
not be beneficial in every ease, but I think
that in the majority of cases plenty of exer-cise
in singing would pay will from a
health point of view. The schools might
therefore appropriate more time totralu-
Ing In this respect, for I hold thnt health
should be mode the first consideration, and
school is certainly the place where the moat
good could be done.
Some years ago a Dr. Hush, dealing with
this subject, stated that "the exercise of
the organs »»f tho breast by singing con-tributed
very much to defend them from
those diseaaes to which the climate and
other causes expose them. The Hermans
are seldom afflicted with consumption, nor
have I ever known more than one case of
spitting blood among them. This, I be-lieve,
is in part occasioned by tho strength
which the lungs acquire by exercising
them frequently In vocal music, which
constitutes an essential branch of their
education." Another authority stated
thnt he had heard of people strongly dis-posed
to consumption being restored to
health by the exercise of the lungs In sing-ing-
, ,
These statements certainly deserve con-sideration,
more particularly as the remedy
for such a serious complaint Is a very sim-ple
one. To me It seems perfectly reason-able
to think that singing should expand
the chest and thus better qualify the
frame to battle with disease—Cor. Lon-don
Tit Hits.
Capon* fur Kplrurcs.
The Indian capon is magnilicent and
snorts the most gorgeous and attractive
plumage ami affords most delicate mid
palatable food. The capon can be kept to
an sdeanoed am and still the flesh is as
■WtOt and tender as a spring chicken. The
capon attains an immense M/,U and is an
excellent troop leader forfowls. Our com-mon
fowls caponi/cd by the Indian process
of capoid/iug will grow to the enormous
height of from twenty-six inches to three
feet, and their feathers are fine and glossy,
the tail feathers long and flowing, giving
them a majestic appearance in the poultry
yard. They are tho admired of all ad-mirers,
aud when served on the dinner
table are thedelightof theepicure. Travel-ers
in India for years supposed tbut the
large aud beautiful fowls that they mot
with all over that far off country were a
distinct breed, little dreaming that they
were the common fowl caponized.—Poultry.
For those DEATHLY BILIOUS
8PELL8 depend on Sulphur Bit-ters
; it never falls to cure.
DO YOU SUFFER with that
tired and all-gone feeling? If so use
Sulphur liltters; It will cure you.
Don't bo without a bot-tle.
You will not regret it
TRY
IT.
THI I of a fair face is a beauti-
8ccHCT|ful "sin. Sulphur hitters
makes both.
Jf you do not wish to a*
sutler from RHEUMATISM, uses
bottle of Sulphur Bitten; it never
falls to cure.
Are you CONSTIPATED? If so,
Sulphur Bitters is junt what you need
I'oor, weak, and weary mothers
RAISE PUNY, PINDLINQ children.
Sulphur Bitten will make them
strong, hearty, and healthy. ** / '
Cleanse the vitiated blood when
you see Its liupurltlps bursting
through the skin In *""
Itely ou Sulphur
Hitters and health
will follow.
PIMPLES,
BLOTCHES
AND SORES.
Everything You Want in This Line at
Our Store.
If u graft! assortment nnd prices thai ire rig il are whal
vdii are looking for, theu come right i long to up, as
wo an the people for ;i Big Assortment, Coned
■ - and Rock-bottom prices.
Our Outing; Shirts.
Are the best in the world. Every Shirt has a patent n in-thrinkaUe
neck hand. A big assortment in Cheviots, Madras and Botanyl,
WE SELL THE BEST!
The above caption hu become synonymous with the Economy
Clothing for Men and Hoys. We wain everybody to know it, as it
is to everybody's interest to know where the best i Ml ! bot it for
the same price you have been paying for the WOULD-BE best
goods. We've plenty of Thin Suits for hot K Utd
Light Worsteds.
Summer Coats for Men, 35c. up.
Summer Underwear "Ft t all."
Cool Neckwear, 25c. and 50c.
Men's and Boys' Blazers.
Just received 100 dozen, Wenmr & Naylon lake 1 Hose, at
2 pair for 25 cents ; full seamless.
Mffl'B VI <I«PIIHSM>I<II
'Bend 3 2H*nt Plumps to A. 1'. Onlway A Co.,
Hoturn, M*a»., for oo»l UMHUCJU work pubUib*!
PLUMmm.
JONATHAN CLEAVER,
MACHINIST, PLUMBER, GAS and
STEAM FITTER,
Hector St., Conshohocken.
Oppoalt* tho \Y 11.Milton Hose HoilM.
Iron ft'iicu*. HltMiii liiMtln* for private or publlr
bulMiiins * ipcciaUv.
(]i H. THWAITES,
Plumber, Gas and
Steam Fitter,
Cor. WASHINGTON and OAK Su.,
Conshohockco, Pa.
mm™ und riuiiwn (•■' amm.OM nf (MM.
■rdimulic I'.jiim, Hi** tail i" " i'u>u;...
llt-UInc I'ublle tiKl I'riMlc Uulldlug. by BUB
» gpocuutr.
55 Fayette Street, Conshohocken. Pa.
Invincible Leader. Jos. Simon, Prop.
Base Ball and Bat with each Childs Suit.
All Roads Lead Heiel
All floods sold at bottom prices. Al' Ityles and ;
Special prices are offered on our entire stock of ltody
Brussels, Tapestry and ingrain Carp, t
In Rugs we have some beautiful designs.
FURNITURE
Hush Rockers,
Ladies' Desks,
Parlor Tables, (fine)
Chiffoniers.
Parlor Ca';inets,
Easels,
Odd Fancy Chairs,
JOHN S. HIPPLE,
FBACTICAI,
CARPENTER and BUILDER,
Cor. Hector and Apple streets,
Conshohocken.
Estimates furnished and contracts
made for all kinds of buildings. Plans
and Specifications drawn for new
work. Particular attention paid to
altering and remodeling. First-class
work and material guaranteed.
T>FVTT1T9
J)R. E. E. FLEMING,
Dentist,
FIRST AVENUR, BKI.0W FAYETTK STRKHT.
Comhohoeku, Pa.
WASHINGTON HOTEL,
No. 40 Els* street,
Cnn>hohock«B.
JOHN A. HARROLO, • Proprietor.
All Ihe bat braniWof Wlnn, Llquort. Ale,
l'orter Bud Beer.
GENERAL MEADE HOTEL
42 and 44 South Elm street,
Conshohocken, Pa.,
JAMES, J. L0U8HREY, • Propriety
Beit binrti of Uquon, Wln«, rocUt.AU •'
BMr. AACommoitulloni AJC manaud Oaolua
If you are in wan' of a uco.1 STOVE, g" to
H.C. MESSINCER,
N. E. OOB. FATKTTI AND EL* STBHTB,
CONWTTOIIOOKEl^
Whei* will be oanl t full'vuorlmnnt cf the b«s*
StovBii Bt lowMt prlcofc Till HOOFING, 8POUT-IN-,
AND HEI'AIIUNO nutly and obMply dons,
Or»l" anJ Fire Brick, stov.i, rcpaiml. PruBM Of
■ill fclndi, and a general auortment u( lIoiin^Funi-
GotHlfj »1 wev§ OH Lend. 2-21-1-0
h.MJr. I Co.,
DKAI.IKS 1.1
BAVl.ina AND CAB SKUVKK.
navppy \ h.i-h in i u*
"Wlien I went i"w«," said an old yarn
Bpluiiur down <ui the wharvi-n, "I WUH vt-ry
hand)* aloft and answered to the con-venient
namo of'Jack.' I wiw no willing
and bandy that the officers weru alwnys
callinR upon IIH*. It waa 'Jack, dotkla,'
or 'Jack, do that.' On ooe voyago from
Havana to I'hllmlelpbJa tho mates called
on 'Jack' so much that 1 wan well nii.'h
worn uut. 1 detenniued to be 'Jack' no
more. After arrlv.Dp; In Philadelphia and
remaining there a few days, I went to the
Hhipping commissioner's office for anew
job. He said he wanted a man for a cap-tain
who was even then waiting in the
office, and reqiiPHted mo to sign my naine.
" 'I cannot write,' I said.
" 'Theu tell me your name,' said he.
H'Ahaahuenu ViU Van DeuaendornV
■aid I.
•"Wnatr"
" 'Abaahnerua ViU Van DeuKendorff.'
** 'How in thunder do you spell itr*
"*I don't know.'
" 'Here, captain,' said tho commissioner,
turning to the waiting captain, 'thia man
seems all right but for his confounded
name.'
" That's all right,' said the captain, and
I was shipped. And I will tell you I had
p*acu and comfort un that voyage. When-ever
the mate wanted me to do anything
bo would start on my name, break out
swearing and then tell another mau to do
the work. I think they rather sunpected.
something wrong about tho uione, but they
never caught me."—Portland Press.
How to lies a Hops.
A famous jukcr, being asked by a neigh-bor
famous for forgetting to return bor-rowed
articles to lend him a rope, the
owner replied that the ropo was in use
tying up flour. Ou the neighbor Indignant-ly
oxklug, "How can a rope be used in
tying up flour I"' the owuer replied, "A
rope may be put to any use when 1 do not
wi-li to lend *.t."—Uusiness WouiauV
Journal.
She Committed Suicide.
Mi-. F. 0. Cone, at Paris left tbla letter.
"My hndiand-Forgive me If I cause yon
trouble, bnt I suffer so. You do not know
what these IODR, wakeful, wretehed niKbti are
to me, and I am to tired, darling—the pain
will never be better. It la not easy to take my
own life, bot I bave been siok so lonf. Good-bye,
my hosbaad, 1 love /on-joar wife"
This li but one of tbouiiande that lives up, in-stead
of uiioR Dr. attics' Meliorative N»rvlne,
and beinK speedily ourtd of their wretohrdnese
(ioi.rr K.Md inn Drug Htore and vet an
11. Kent book and Trial llottle free. 8
— •»•» — —■
Bnct'.en'e Arnica re'.re-
Tbo Beit Salve in the world for Cuts, Druiiefl
Bores, Ulcers, Halt Hbeum.Fever Mores, Tetter
Chapp.d, Hand*, Chilblains, Coroi, and all
Hkin Eruptions, and poaltlvaly cures Pile*, or
no psy required. It Is susranteed to alve
perfect eatiefaotion, or money r» funded. Price
25 cents per box. For sale by Thorns F.
MoCoy. ?U>ly
Coughing Leads to Consumption
RVnip'elial-KW frtlleeup the ei-unb at once
When Baby was sick, we gave her Castorla.
When she was a Child, she cried for Caatorla.
When she became Mbta, she clung to Castorla.
When she had Chlldreo, she gave them Castorla.
JflAYALL MAY.
Hauling ' kinds.
sj7*8peclel attenltou alvea U> tho ■lehv«rlnc of
tratgnL Hxctnraud ray-ate.-*!*. C(.aal.ohccasa.
JAMES CLINTON,
Hauling of all Kinds
Pr.«,Uy All'rtml T».
Sixth avenue, Conshohocken, Pa.
Sand *ird Bailding Supflin
airnubcd to contractors and builders.
Contract! nude tor removal of dirt.
JOHN KNOX,
IWALaUt IK
Udws ud Beau Fanhllig Goel&
U.U OM» M>t BSSSM
Fmysttf ssetet. Oiasailinlna, Ps
MKAL KSTAIt; .ti.-A.V7N
MONTGOMERY HOUSE,
Cor. Fayette and Marble st*.,
Conshohocken, Pa.,
V. 8. ■tOOMMAU.. PrtsrhHr.
All the ***t bcauda of I.tqunc Wlnea, Ala.
Hen-, rortar, ata. lubllns scrouiaoiMBMa*.
^ARD'S HOTEL,
Elm street below Poplar,
Conshohocken, P>.,
JAMES WAR0, Freprletsr.
Alt tlwbert k>anilsnrWhUkleajBranrtliis.Wtoaa
•aftQIna. FV..r. I'nrtrr. At. and Clsara.
Families Supplied with
|RA N. BAYLOR,
COLLECTOR.
MSI II. •U.LI, «TO OOLLEOTtO
MOUSaTS RIHTED,
Use. rroot awl William I
skui..**!*. r%.
p_ H. LUBBE,
Connjuctr, Real Estate Brokir, Gen
ml Business Agent end
Notary HP»xl>Iic
ataaarU
MajMaisj
Munac to kakn tn ilcalimbl« MIIIM
Houaaa U, i.ul
U.-l,,,,..
uullcclluiia
SFeSMtt ria«»x» •«. «sst ilnoc bat T. O , tnd tlotr
Worth Tss Eollara
to any family, is Dr. KsnfmsnD's book on dis*
.»«••-. (lin-ly llluitrstsd pU'es from life, don't
bl bnmbagRed, bat euro yourieK Bond tbrs.
3 osnt stsmps for postsKO to A. P, Ordwsy A
Co., lloston. Mssi, snd rocoice s oopy free.
English Hpsfin Liniment removes sll Hard,
Boft or Calloused Lumps and I'.k mislus from
borsas, Blood Hpsvlns, Cnrbs, Hplints.Hwtenoy
lUn«-Ikine, Btillos, Bpuni-. n Thrusts
Oongbs, etc. Bate JBO by u.c of on. bottle
Warranted the most wonderful „Blomiib Cure
DltSM BMr %SB»'ka*Sl "« «»"»■>• Sold by T. F. McCoy, Dr.1|wi.t,
1 Oonihohockon, I's.
Wm. P. Jones,
DKAI.KII IS
Plesr,
Oat Meal,
Corn Oats,
Chopped Corn $
Oats and Baled
HAY andSTRAW
ear.Smasrtk and 8irln<j Kill avsaiat,
kBBi
OYSTERS !
at FOGEY'S -
ixxsi or WAtmeta aw.
Dry Goods,
Groceries,
Provisions,
Hardware,
and Lumber
Of ALL KINDS. ALSO
COAL!
From the BEST MINES.
West • Conshohocken, . Pa.
WILLIAM WRIGHT,
COUCHES
Also an elegant assortment of l'arlor Stiits.Bedroont Suits,
Hook-Cases, Extension Tallies, at unusually low pr;
WALL PAPERS
in large quantity and elabo G ral Upholstering
a specialty. N'. misfil I
Roberts & ieredith,
Fayette street, - - Conshohocken, Pa
PRICES REDUCED!
Children's Suits, Hoys' Suits, Men's Suits.
Everything reduced in price at
HERMAN WETZEL'S,
Opposite P. 0.. 66 and 68 Main street, Norristown, Pa
WE ARK GETTING IN SHAPE WITH OUR ALTERATIONS, BUT TO
MOVE THINGS QUICKLY,
PRICES GO DOWN
And IIOIICO grester vsluc Ihsn befbro. Just look st those :
250 12-Mo. Book, 12c.
The rviiiuunl nl'sllKhlly shop-worn book* at nl-ni^
hla Klviuwuy intic. Tito rca.l nil 1> iul y .. .1
anil lliv Uiokb arv suet, as to bo pruillat li
roaillnn.
White Counterpanes.
No. 1 lot from SI •
No. 2
No, 3
No. I
1.00
.80
.75
.liown to$l oo
.7.'.
.63
.W
Carpet Remnants
cost .anotco.i<.Meiv.l. l'rotiy
pulleriIM And colorings ol Taputry, nniswln. Vsl-
Jn.t the tblnn
for ragi ami m>
Black Henrietta.
All wool, *S Inches wide, fmra ll.W down 10 79
cents. Urest value for s little money.
II will ,ook queer lo our regular customers in the back room, hut il will pay them to look
They will bee 2000 Yards Remnants
toes, Woolen Drew. Goodn iu many different lengths, colorings, pat Mr IIH.
vs. Dou't wait for us to g<« into «!-iaiU, but come look them over. Other Bargains.
of (ilnghami, Calleoe
prices.
ltmo I'aner Itooks. 8c.
DremitanghsiiiN, fiWc.
(See them In our West Window).
Hamburg f>lglng ItemnanU.
Kibbon Heinnants. He.
l^dfeV BkJrts, li*c.
Indies1 V
Wra] pors,76e.
■ .
•S-lncri sun rmbrcllas. ILV,
I. H. BRENDLINGER,
leading Dealer In Dry Goods, Trimmings, Carpet* and Itooks,
Nos. 76, 78, 80 and 82 Main Street, Norristown, Penna.
%3
y
"v '.. -
Mr. Joirph llemmrrteh
An olil solillcr, came out of the War pesttr
rnfcFUled by Trrl"i* •'•"r.and after being
in carious hospitals the uociors discharged him
M incurablo olth «-.aw»asipil.«. "• ""
been tn npor health since, until he began to take
Hood's Sarsaparilla
Imme.lUiely his cough grew looser, night
.„,:,!. aasuNd, and ho regained good general
he ilth. Ho cordially recommends Hood's Sar-saparllls.
especially tocomrades In tho O. A. ai.
HOODS PILLScui.iiawiuaiconausauosib.
mlorln, perlsulltc action of the alimentary
TO get rid of that tired,
faint feeling so prev-alent
during this warm
weather, go to
McCoy's Drug Store
and get a bottle of his
Beet Ire. and Wine.
An excellent tonic, pre-scribed
by many phy-sicians.
50 cents for a
' large bottle.
Thomas F, McCoy,
Druggist,
Fayette Street above Elm.
FAYETTE ST., ABOVE FIRST AVE.,
Conshohocken, « l'cuna.
—Dealsr In—
Hardware. Cutlery, Tools, Etc.
l-argt stork of fresh GARDEN
bKRIKi 0 ..>u;i!l. on hind. Oidcn
l«r ircut MV.-U and |iromptly filled.
GREAT Reduction SALE
UT s;'rinj; Stock
oiler them to you, at
Mow is your tints If you want a good Suit of Clothes HEAL BAR-GAINS.
' ' n utlii i
We havi- a .rreai rnany Brol
and being desirous of git
the low prices quoted Ix-loiv i
Suits that were soiii at $11.00 now $7.50
Suits that were solt! at $1000 nuw $6.50
Suits thai were sold at $9.00 now $5.50
anil all broken lines in cjual propo
lioys' Black and Blue Wonted Suits, ages from 14 to iS; close out at
I4.50, were $6.50.
A Job Lot, ages from \i< to 19, lose - ut at #3.50.
Suits for Children from 75 cents up.
All these good* are Mew and Clean and no Trash.
We are the sole agents for the ;.'entury Suspender, the only suspender
manufactuaed, especially for comfort, combined with durability.
Our Merchant Tailoring Department is still stocked with first-clsss
goods, at reduced prices. Also a large line of every shaped Hat in fashion.
EDWARD WILCOX.
FIRST AVENUE and FAYETTE STREET, Cnshohocksn, Pa
HARD-RUBBER TRUSSES. - SS.00
U. S. GOVERNM'TTRUSSES, - S.OO
I ....... Iu aall all <».... aa l."» aa So I'aala.
DR. J. B. HOBEHSACK, ™.««»«"
I-HII.AI.M.I-IIIA. '•
Olbct. IIMM, fi««fl*. H.UKl* M. Mt.uJ.yi, lOiallA.sfc
Book and Job
PRINTING
at the Recorder Office
neatly and quickly done.
Removed to Ilth and Sansom Sts..
Philadelphia. 1'n
Ladlea' ar.l Oents' Qvergaiters
AND CHUSBEM'S LE0Q!t.-3S,
Tliu Utoat .nit best stock In Ilia wori.l.
J. H- RICHELDEREER.
MnnufSetiiror. Whiil*-nlB in.l
Rm.ll U..l.r. Oallopi an.I l.e»-
gliiH. mail.' tonrdi.r. kmbmlili-reO
ruaiK'niliTH inouiiuM. gontl«.ni.'n'a
fai nUhlnR BOCHIH 111 air'-ut vftii.'ty.
Olovi-s, Hen, scurfs, collar*, onlln.
lioslory, niuflters, suarMiiHli'i"". th*«
M. llrar.. auspemli.r tor iivnl* an«T
boVH, Hi., perf.cl sliouliltir Dramas
toauUevcrvuoily.Bulrla..lmwarav
cnllKUD j.cliou. im-rliio a«<!
scarlet n.nD'.l unilorwe.r for
].<ll«a' .n.l Itonts. Alap BMSJ
icliest iinitectors, ana a tbousanai
srllclw;-too numerous to meuilon.
Uthlnil BanaomaU. CallululU1 W»t*riiro<rf.
I.lnen collar nnrt Cotr depot. WholeBale.uat
null.
Joseph Chislett,
P
R
ACTIC
A
L
HORSE-SHOER & BLCKSMITH
.-IMXIM. ATIKNTIOS TO i.KNTt.KM HI
r.oAi.
I'arrlaapailllil SMaOM Ol all kind- MAS Slut
fi«OBI«ll lUl.ian.-he.. N..IIU hill the -r.t ma-ieilal
and most OompSSanlMaaoplojasl.
N 1 I M|:M i;H-A>MINt.-loN.»KOKRE»T8T8.
Oppinlte HeadliiK Railroad Hcpo
I .is-ll.illOiKEN.
PROF. OSCAR KNECHT,
TEACHER OF MUSIC.
Piano, oiKtii., \io
lln, Viola,
f Double BaM
I < "laaricMie1 IM DWfl
I t>m DP !i--'r»! »IK1
[ t,nws 1II-:I ■
I 'ii i,;lit.
( oniir" tor Tuning
. pUnoi promptly Ht-
. ii t..
I| OG Fa.ette street.
I Conshohocken.
MISS LIZZIE KNECHT
Will r.-ii'ivf on ii.nl i.itiTSfptt'iutKTllni.Mrholar*
OD OrKnii, Piano and VI..II11. Tin- vinlln Ufant
booontlni iritalnt-^manlaiidhafsj
t> n J/IHHI opnottQnlt* f<»r jroung )..<llet. WsM pftsW
• ludy teaofior, ('nil nrMlilreM
G6 Fayeltt street. Conthohacktn.
O #
ELLIS
REDMONDS SHOE STORE.
J. W. WILSON,
Oxford Ties*.
Red and Russet Button Shoes.
Kee our show Window. Repairing KtaUll IJOSK'.
Daniel B Redmond,
FsjctU street, Consholiocko.,
LADIES' I
and
GENTS'.!
Dr. J01IN
of what F
of Hardware, Window
and Poor Screens, Paints,
Oils, Varnishes, Ham-mocks
and Fishing Tackles
Lamps sold at cost.
$6.55 PRESENT
FREE!
lk-ruillfnl book ri
lull flu'i't llltl.il>
niithilngtbe latest TOaal 1
ie plata
IIIIK tin* iaU'»t vocal sau-lc.
Utcs.lianilRonie coT*r, 1M-unabrldgW
1
AI:.TU»-I1-. W I've Worked 8 Hoam, 4*
Haby'i. KiL-t .\hlotp, 10 I Whistle and Wait, -10
Comradaa, BO 1 "vi-'n'-DlilonHroao., 411
1 Dim Out Land,2S nlil (truiui Itluwor. Tht 48
I'rclty Do
r.uanlUn
luoi.l M
Mai ■ i John,
U-KiVtMhi
<r Our I*"t WalU, 40
40 ovurlln Moonlit Kca, 40
> I ktuieCuunor, 40
in TIIHI is Lov«, 40
i«->k Ut lulroducc to you
KR0UTS BAKING POWDER
And KROt'l 1
I'liKurimjiM.'! fur
(tKINOEsXTBACTt,
PURITY and RTRENOTII.
Your irooer will give you it circular containing
adrlltimml iTfinluin I.IK: with lull particulari.
huw |o Kit ilii'in trw.
AI.HKRT KDOl'T. <:hcinist. PhlU-Advertising.
IP iron « l-h to Rilvcrtlsf iitivthiiiv: Hiiyvrhero at
any time wriU loOKQ. P. IIOWBLL A CO.,
-i . New York
Fayette Street.
Conshohocken. Pa.
and NOTIONS,
13 East Him street,
Three ISKIIS above FaycUe sireet
lf,A CONSHOHOCKEN, PA.
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