Lebanon Advertiser

              iUailtoatis.
nOBI«lLL« LCBANOS RAII.ROAlk
HIllEUT BOUTE FORALL POINTS ON THE
PKN.VdYl.VAMA UAI LROAJJ.
Arraniceiuent of Pasaencer Train*.
On and alter Monday, -Inly 2Ulh, ij-91, th.
p tssenger trains wi 11 run as follows :
Leave— ' am  Aa  am  rM   pm   pm
Lebanon........    U-25   »:U0 10:45   '1-.U0   S:15   7:io
Cornwall    6.U  9:10 1U-.57   2:12   3:27   7.L1)
Mt. Gititna    SMS   !):20 11:07   2:22  8:87   7:30
Arrlvas— AM   AM   TM   PM   PM   pii
Lancaster.......   8:10 10:25 12:53  3:._>   4:45   8:40
ra p m
Philadelphia ...  Hello 12:10   3:15 6:45
PM
New York  tttt 2:30   5:50   9.20
AM
7:* 11:00 12:01   3:20
11-J5      3:05   7:00
0 50 8:10    11:55
Harrisburg...
Willtanisport
Pittsburg.....
Leave-
New York...,
Philadelphia.
Lancaster....
Harrisburg...
Williamsport.
Pittsburg	
Arrive—
Mt. <_retna...
Cornwall...-.
Lebanoa 	
Mt. Gretna
AM
12:15
. 4:30
. 6:25
. 7:110
2:40
,8:11
AM
r m
M    AM    AM
..   ....   !):00
..  SOW 11:40 11:45
10:55   2:00   2:50
2:35   3:40
•S.50 10:55
A M
9:35  3.50
rM
....   8:45
     3:25
m.. 499
r m
3:00
5:20
7:25
30
C3
VOL. 44.--NO. IO.
LEBANON, LEBANON OOUNTY, PA., WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, lHftf.
WHOLE NO.-2192.
9.25 11:60
....   8:25   .... 12:30 4:00
2:20   .... 7.11 t-:0o
AM     PM PM PK    PM
8*00 10:2(1 12:45 3:35 4:35   8:40
S:0S 10:30 12:55 3:45 4:45   S:o0
8:20 10:40   1:05 8:55 4:55   9:00
Park proved its popularity by
the largely increased business of 1890.
There will be many Improvements for the
■ season of 1891.
R.H. GORDON.
Gen'l. fassenger Agent.
N.D IRISH, Gen'l. Supt.
Dec. 31.1*90.	
-T>UllsAI>KLPllIA&K EADING IlAlI.li.OAl>
aUBANGKMENT OF PASSENGEll TUAINS
AUGUST 2, 189L
TUAINS LEAVE LEBANON.
For New Talk via Philadelphia, Weeksdays,
7.-07,8:50,10:30 a. m., 2:17, 4:10 and 0:46 p.m.;
Snnday, 2:45 and 4:49 p. m.
For New York via Allentown, Weekdays, 7:07,
8:50 a. in . 12:56,2:17 p. m.  Sunday, W* a. m.
For Philadelphia, Weekdays, 6:0_, -7*7, SdO,
Io*30 a. m., 2:17, 4.40 nnd 6:46 p. m.; Snnday,
7:42 ti. in., 2:45, 4:49and 6:40 p. in.
jp.ar Middletown. Weekday., 6:02, 8:23 a. m ,
12:55,5:15, 707 and 11:20 p. m ; Sunday, 9:54 and
11:48 a. m.
For Readin?, Weekdavs, 6:05, 7:07 (Fast Express) 8:50,10:30a. m.. 12:56,2:15,4:40. 6:46, 9:13
p.m. Sunday, 7:42,9:43a. m., 2:45,4:49and 6:40
V.1A.
T ir AUentown, Weekdays, 6:05, 7:07, 8:50 a. in.,
12:56.2:17 and 4:40 p. in.; Sunday. 7:42, 9:43 a
m., 4:49 p. au
For Harrisbnrg. Weekdays. 6:02, 8:23, 10:58 a.
m., 12:55, 2:22, 5:15. 7:07, 8:46 (Fast Express),
and 11*20 p. in.; Sunday, 9:54,11:48 a. in , 5:01,
7:04,11:20 p.m.
far Gettysburg, 6:02, 8:23,10:58 a. __„ 7:07 p. in.
Sundays, 9:51,11:48 a. in., 7*01 p. ML
For Shtppensbui*g, 6:02,8:2! a. m . 12:55, 5:15 p.
m    Sundays. 9:54,11:48 a. m., 7:04 p. m.
' TKAINS FOB  LEBANON.
Leave New York via Allentown, Weekdays
4:30 and 8*45 a. m., 1:00, 3:45, and 5:« p. m.
Sunday, 5:30 p. m.
Leave New York via PhUadetphia, Weekdays,
7:45 and 11:30 a m., 1:30, 4:00, 5:00 p. m., aad
1215 midnight; .Sunday. 5:00 p. m.
Leave Philadelphia, Weekdays, 4:10. 8:35. 10:00
a. m., 1:40,4:00. 6:00, 7:15 p. m ; Sunday, 6:30
and9:00 a. m., and3:40,7:15 p. m. •
Leave Beading, Weekdays, 5:00. 7:15,10:19,11:50
a na . 1:27, 4.20. 6-00, 7:57 and 10:25 p. Bl. Sundays', 8:50,10:48 a. m., 4:00,6:00. 10:25 p. m.
Leave AllenUwrn. Weekdays, 5:57, 8:35 a. m.,
12:10,4:2*, 6:40,9:05 p. hi. ; Sunday, 7:25 a. in.,
4:25 and 9:50 p. va.
Leave Harrisburg, Weekdays, 5:10, 6 25, 7:55,
9:35 a. m., 12:00 noon, 1:25, 3:45, 5:50, and 8:10
p. m. fcundays, 6:50, 8:50 a. m., 2:00. 4-00, 5:45
p. ni.
ATLANTIC CITT DIVISION.
Leave   Philadelphia   and   Chestnnt    Street
Whart, and South Street Wharf.
FOK ATLANTIC CITY.
Weekdays—Express, 5:1\ 8.C0, 9:00, 10:45 a. m ,
1:00, (Saturdays only, 1:30), 2:00. 3:00, 3:30,4.00,
5*00, 6:00, p. ni. Accommodation, 7:40, a. ui.,
and 4:15, 6.30 p. m.
Sundays—Express. 5:15, tM, 7:-*>, 8.00 8:30, 9:00,
9:30, a in-, and 4:30, p. m. Accommadation,
8:00, a. m.aad4:45 p: m.
WeekSdays-Express. 7:00, 7:30 8:00, 9.00, 10.00
a.m., 3.15, 4.00,5.30, 6.30, 7 30, 9 30 p m. Ae*
L-oiumodatlon, 6.00 8.10 a. in. and l-M p. in.—
Sundays—Express, 3 30, 4.00, 5.i*U, 6 no, 6 30,
7,10, 7.30, 8.00, 9 HO p. in. Accommodation,
7.'39 a. ni. and 5,05 p. in. *-
PINEGROVE DIVISION.
Trains.leave Lebanon for Pinegrove at
8:35 a. as., bOO. (i:15 and 8:55 p. ra.
Trains from Pinegrove arrive at Lebanon
at 7:00 and 8:30 a. m., 1:55 and 5:10 p. ib.
A. A. McLEOIl,
C. G. Bamcock. Gi -n't. Passenger Agent,   "
Apr. 21—tt.
rUKUtillll RAILROAD
On and after _fov. tid, 1890, trains will leave
Lebanon as follows, connecting at Conewago
for all points em the Pennsylvania Railroad;
Leave Lebanon at 6.25 a. m. Arrive at Cone-
vv.it o 7.05 a. m„ Lancaster 8.10 a. in , Philadelphia 10.20 a. at_. New York 1.20 p. m., Harrisburg 7.30 a. m., Altoona 146 p m., Pittsburg
6.50 p.m. This train makes close conuectioi
at Harrisburg tor points on the Northern central and Phti_d_lphia& Erie Bailroad.
Leave Lebanon 10.15 a. ra. Arrive at Conewago 10.55a. IB . Harrisburg 12.01 p. ttt. Arrive
at Lancaster 11.35 a. ni. Philadelphia 1.25 :a. va
New York 4.00 p. m. This train makes close
connection at Harrisbarg for points on the
Northern Central and P. 9 E. R. R.
Leave Lebanon 11.30 a. m. Arrive at Conewago 12.15 p. m., Lancaster 12.58 p. ta., Philadelphia 3.15 p. m.. New York 5.50 p. m.   ,
Leave Lebanon 2.00 p. m., arrive at Conewago 2.45 p. in., Lancaster 4.A5 p.m. Phlludel-
Ehia6.50 p. m., New York 9 35 p. m.. Harris-
urg 3.20 p. m., Altoona 7 60 p. m., Pittsburg
11.56 p.m., Baltimore 7.00 p. in., Washington
8.60 p. m.  '____:■__.-__,
Leave Lebanon 3.15 p. ni. Arrive at Cone
wago 4.00 p. m., Lancaster, 4.45 p. m., Philadelphia 6.60 p. BL, Mew York 9.35 p. BL
Leave Lebanon 7.10 p. m.   Arrive at Conewago 7.65 p.m., Lancaster 8.40 p. m., Philadelphia 10.55 p. m., Harrisburg 8.45 p. BL
CBAS. &. PUOH. .1. R. VaOOD,
Oeneral Manager. Genl. Passr. Agt.
Dec. 3. 1890
CORNWALL RAILROAD.
Lebanon & Lakcaster Joint-Like.
t-ST'Shorte.-.t route fur Lancaster and all points east aud west.
On and after May    th. 1891, P-ssenger Trains wBl be rnn as fo1 lows :
p.m.
71ft
7 26
7 29
7 36
7 41
70S
8 25
p.m.
p.m.
8 tu
3 55
368
i io
4 22
S04
5 05
p.m.
p.m.{p.m
S 10 12 35
:t 21:12 46
3 24
3 31
12 49
12 56
1 00
Itt
1 55
200
p.m.ipm. am
u»I
m
11 05
11 16
UM
11 26
a in.
9 10
ati
9 24
9 31
ta.in
71*
787
710
739
745
756
827
9 22
a.m.
a m
ete
e te
6 60
a.m.
pm.
12 30
am.   i
7 55
12 42
8 10
12 45
8 13   j
"!!!
8**7 \.
8 88    .
S 50
9 20    1
p.m.
a.m.   j
L*uve. Arrive.
.......... Lebunon	
    ..Cornwall	
 Miners,' Village 	
 .Penryn-	
.......... Mt. Hope.	
 Man heim.. .._„_,„.
. .King Street, Lancaster...
"  Columbia	
Arrive. Leave.
Arrive.
11.111 j
K  11
7.59
7 66
7 51
7 4
7 *S
7 01
a. ni.
it m .p.in p in. p.m pnt.
8 25 '2 20
10 !3 I 0 I
10 t»(12 OS]
10 01 12 IX)
Leave.        SUNUais.
 Lebanon ...
  .....Cornwall..............
 Miners' Village	
 Penryn....	
 Mt Hope	
............... Manheim	
 King street, Lancaster.	
 Columb a..... 	
Arrive. Leave
4 35 6 30
4 28 rt 19
4 all; 6 16
4 14, (i III
 a   6   05
    1 »'.,...   ft 68
 12 3S; ' 528
..... 12 3.5.....: 3 45
p.m.p*oiJp.m 'p.m.
3
l Sl!
I 48
1  a.
1ST.
a.m
I'.'n-   1
982
2 88
9 17
928
9 14
.  220
900
....
8 44
8 60
886
a nt
p.m.
p.m.
ft tt
4S6
402
4 40
tl.
5
b
p.m.
.. .*Nory> aQd South-hound trains connect at Lebanon with trains on Philadelphia 9 lieadine
Railroad to and from Harrisburg, Reading, Pottsville, Philadelphia and New Yoik
A Co uuilila Railtoad
South-bound trains connect at Manhe'in wilh tra'ns on tlie Kiadin
for points between Beading and Columbia.
_  .f J*,1*a,-*Phl* * Reading Kailroad Company mileage books -.ill be accepted on the Cornwall
Ka 11 roao..
futbtjis_-____r of
Stationery Goods!
4)
e
-*m>
Til
_-<
©
©
aa
ae
tm
©
EMBRACING a large and varied asssortment of  Books,  Bibles,
Testaments, Hymn Books, Books io board, cloth and floe bind-
ings, for all ages: from Toy Books with colored illustrations for
tbe little ones, to board  covers—b toks  for youth and  miss, np to'
standard works for adults.
FANOY GOODS.
In  Leather, Plush and Persian Silver Cases such aa Albums, Work
Ooxes, Toilet Cases, Shaving Sets, Writing Desks, Cigar Cases,
Manicure Seta, lak Stands, Paper Weights, Calendars, Card Cases,
Lap Tablets, Ponket Books, Wall Pockets, Cards, Portfolios, Picture
Frames, Dressing Cases, afco., &e.
GOLD PENS and HOLDERS.
Stylograpbic aad Fountain Pens and Pencils in Oold, Silver, Bub.
ber and Celluloid Cases.
P0CKE1 BOOKS and PURSES.
A lar.e and varied assortment.
to
_T_
o
mm
em
cr
era
cr
___
cr
X
tf-f.
<-i
9
CD
CALL .
No advance in Prices.    Holida__jGk>ods sold at as Low
Prices as others.
Dec. 10, '90—3m
®
COAT
OUR preparations for the Holiday Trade are on a
Larger and Grander Scale than ever before.
Now that the cold weather has actually set in
ladies will see the necessity of an immediate purchase of
a WRAP or COAT of some kind. We bave bouo-ht
the entire stock of a large Cloak Manufacturer atpnees
which enable us to place them within the reach ot all
THE HEAVY STOCK
Of Coats and Cloaks we carry makes ua Headquarters for
these goods, bat as we prepared ftjr a very cold winter
and it is here, we are prepared to furnish yoo \.:*h a'
Good, Warm and Stylish Garment at a Very Low Figure.   •
DRESS   GOODS   DEPARTMENT.
__!_____*__'
%-te
H
_*_*^-\i
____i
•^ tt
_Wst*
<r w
«i__2_tii.
j0HJffi-\
-. ys
If**?^-;
H
mm
A.
PRA
19 SOU!
0
'sBl
M|8S
"in CO
a -i _ *> _■
M
*.
©
o those who may dest
buildings ln town o
is to suit the times,
k done'guaranteed nc
ut the best workmen
ms.
»
*-4-
ce
©
3
\_T
H_
__*
©
**_
SB
B
OWE
SLATE 1
TREET, LEB
rs to cont
rconnty i
t to leak.
employed
p
ss
*****
•
«©
S3
89
oo73
"     I*
> H
1
|
9
1   50
■
•**
m.
This   department never was so full of  Choice
Suitable for
Goals
GROCERIES! GROCERIES!
WHOLESALE Attn KET AIL.
 W	
F18H, 0Y81 ERS, BANANAS,
■GARDEN VEGETABLES,
BUTTER and EGGS.
—)o(—
No stale or old stock on hand.   Fresh
Supplies received dally bom Philadelphia and New .oik markets, and from
the country.
Uoods delivered promptly snd in
prime condition.
Everything tbe housekeeper can desire, of the best quality and at reasonable prices.
LORENZO 8IIUGAH,
Jl. W  Cor. Seventh and Cumberland Sts
A.or'1 I. tt. I.KRAWON.   i*
8. TJ. BEINOEHL.   M. W. REINOEHL.
H. A. BEINOEHL.
REIHOEIL LUMBER CO.
Successors to Reinoehl 9 Meilv.
OFFICE
PLASING MILL
AND YARDS
EIGHTH OATKHTREETS.
White Pine, Yellow Pine and Yellow
Poplar, Hemlock, Laths, Pickets, Shingles,
Hard Woods, and manufacturers of Doors
Sash, Blinds,   Carvings,    Moulding
Flooring, Turning, Scroll Sawing.
Persons in want of anything in our Hm*
_r_B find it to their interest to examine
onr stock. Jaa. 16-1 y
^H0LIDAY=PRESENTS^-
C. SHENK,
Lebanon's Leading Clothier,
816 Cumberland St.,        LEBANON, PA
S. SEIBERT, President
B. EBBI10BK, Manager
THE LEBANON BREWING (OMPANY
The Leoanon Brewi-sg Company is prepared to tarnish their excellent
W1ENER-MAERTZEN, EXPORT
—AND—
Salvator Lager Beer
IN ANY QUAtTTITY DESIRED.
IBOTTLED "BEE R.l
Orders fot our Bottled Beer left at the Brewery, or with J. F. b<nn
the prominent bottler, at tfae Exchange Hotel, Ind. Dist., will be filled.
Oor Wiener Beer, which is bottled, is especially recommended for
LADIES NURSING CHILDREN by the most prominent phyjicians
in the City.   f«rTELEPHONE CONNECTION.   Apply to
LEBANON BREWING CO..
Dec. 3, 1887. Indkpendent  District, Lebanon. I'.*.
KAUFFMAN'S
summer millinery!
Oar Stock is as fall and fresh as at any time daring the season.     We are buying Hats and making Hats**
every day.   We offer
Special Bargains This Week:
Choice Straw Hats at 12,15,19, 23, 25 and 50 cents each.
Ladies Fine Hats at 25, 75 and98 cents; worth $1.00 to $1.75J
FLO W_ERS atione-half the former price.
Ribbons, Nets and Lacas very cheap.
TRIMMED HATS aud BONNETS.
Fine Hats, 95 eents; worth $2.00.
gO HATS, Finely Trimmed, at $1.50; worth $3.00—SQ
100 Trimmed Hats at ?2.00, $2.->0 and $3.00; less than half prie^.
KAUFFMAN'S
April I, '91.
813 Cumberland Street,
LEBANON, PAy
THE MOST
RELIABLE
To correct the constipated habit,
remove sick - headache, relievo
dyspepsia, to purify ibe blood,
cure jaundice, liver complaint, and
biliousness, Ayer's 1.11s are unequaled. They are an excellent
after-dinner pill, assisting the process of digestion, and cleansing and
strengthening tlie alimentary canal.
When taken on the invasion -of a
cold or a fever, they effectually prevent further progress of the disease.
Being sugar-coated and purely vegetable, they are the best
Family
medicine, for ett and yonng.  Ayer's Pills
are indispensable to soldiers, sailors, campers, miners, aud travelers, and are •everywhere recommended lay tto medieal ate*
ternity. Dr. J. W. Ilayncs, 1'alouse, W. T.,
writes: "Ayer's I'ills are tlie most evenly balanced hi tbeir ingredients, of any i know of."
** For more than twenty years I have used
Ayer's Fills as a corrective.fer torpidity ai
the stomach, liver, and bowels, and to ward
OS malarial attacks, and ttey have always
done perfect work." — E. P. Goodwin, Publisher Democrat, St. Landry, La.
"I was master of a sailing vessel for
many years, and never failed to provide a
supply of Ayer's Pills, for the use of both officers and men.  Ttey are a safe aud reliable
Cathartic
and /always give satisfaction."'— n.irry
Bobinson, 52 E. Pearl St., Pair Haven, Conn.
'* For a long time I was a sufferer, from
stomach, liver, and kidney troubles, and
having tried a variety of remedies, w ith
only temporary relief, I began, about three
months ago, tte use of Ayer's Pills, and
already my health is so much improved that
I gladly testify to Uie superior merits of this
cathartic." — Manocl Jorge Pereira, Oporto,
Portugal.
Ayer's Pills
PREPARED   BT *
Br. J. C AYER & CO., Lowell, Mass.
Sold by all Druggiats aod Dealers in Medicine.
JOHNSON'S
LINIMENT
\) ' yw n*TT__2T__, ud EITISUAL tm.
-FENERATION AFTER GENERATION^
*WQ       HAVX USED AKD BLESSED IT.   a,*t\~^
'&
"■VlNaO-H**.*5*
JOroppeitt on Sugar, Children Zove It,
Every Traveler sbould have a bottle ef tt In his satchel.
EV/Arw ft-tllTTOrAP -Prom Rheumatism, Sei-
Very wUrrerOratica, Neuralgia, Nervons Headache, Diphtheria, Coughs, Oatarrh, Bronchitis,
.Asthma, Cholera Morbus, Diarrhoea, Lameness, Soreness
in Body or limbs, Stiff Joints or Strains, will flnd la
this old Anodyne relief and speedy core. Pamphlet
free. Sold every where. Price 35 cta, by mail, 6 bottle*
Express paid, $2.   I. S. JOHNSON & CX\» Bostok. i_-»
Bepty-Uem.
ICURE
FITS!
When I say Cirra I do not mean merely to
itop them for a time, and then bave them return again.   I MEAK X RADICAL CUBE.
•j I have made the disease ttf
FITS, EPILEPSY OV
FALLING SICKNESS,
A life-long study. I 'WAX-U.'ST my remedy ta
Ctnuc the worst oases. Because other* have
tailed is no reason fomot now receiving a cure.
Send at once for a treatise and a FrekBottl*
of my Infallible Remedy. Give Expresi
and Post Office. Ik costs yoo nothing for a
trial, and it will cure yoa.  Address
H.G. ROOT, ttl.C, 183 Pearl St.. New York
June
I took Cold,
I took Sick,
I TOOK
SCOTT'S
EMULSION
result:
I take My Meals,
I take My Rest,
ARD t AM VIGOROUS ENOUGH TO TAKK
ANYTHING I CAN LAT HY HANDS ON ;
fetting fat too, for Scott's
mulsion of Pure Cod Liver Oil
and Hvpophosphitesof Limeand
Soda NOT oHatr cured hy Incipient Consumption but built
HK UP, AND IS NOW PUTTING
FLESH ON MY BONES
AT THE RATS OF A POUND A DAY. I
TAKE tt JUST AS EASILY AS I DO MILK."
SUCH   TESTIMONY    IS    NOTHING    NEW.
SCOTT'S EMULSION IS DOING "WONDERS
DAILY.      TAKE NO OTHER.
Humphreys
Db. Humphreys' Specifics are a
carefully prepared prescriptions
:ien till ca lly and
used for many
yean iu private practice with success,and for over
thirty years used by the people. Every single Soe-
ciflc Is a special cure for the disease named.
These Specifics cure without drugging, purging or reducing the system, and are lu fact and
deed the sovereign remedies of the Wsrile
UST OP PRINCIPAL NOS. CI1RES.
1 Fevers* Congestion, limammatIon...
2 Worms. Worm Fever, Worm Colic-.
3 Cryina Co I i <*-, or 1'ee thing uf Infante
4 Diarrnea, of Children or Adults	
o Dysentery* Url plug. Bilious Colic...
tf Cholera Morbus, Vomiting	
7 Coughs, Cold, bronchitis	
8 Nc   ralgia, Toothache, Faceache—
9 Headaches, Sick Headache, Vertigo
10 Dyspepsia, Iiillous Stomach.........
11 Suppressed or Painful Periods-
Vi Whites* too Profuse Periods	
13 Croup* Cough, Difficult Breathing....
14 Halt Rheum, Erysipelas, Eruptions.
15 Rheumatism, Rheumatic Pains....
Itt Fever and A true, Chills, Malaria—
17 Files, Blind or Bleeding	
19 Catarrh, Influenza, Comln'heHead
20 Whooping Cough, Violent Coughs.
*$4 -Meaeral Debility,PhysicalWeakuesir
17 Kidney Disease _ .Of
*8 Nervous Debility i*_—jL--_:*-*ff_l
■JO Urinary Weakness, WettimrBed.   .50
32 Diseases of theHeart.Palpitation 1.00
• .Sold by Druggists, or Bent postpaid on receipt
of price. Dr. Humphreys* Mancal, (144 pages)
richly bound in cloth and gold, mailed   free.
HUMPHREYS' MEDIOIHB CO,
Cor. William and John Streets, New Tork.
SPECIFICS.
PRICES.
iff
...0
.50
.30
.30
18
RUPTURE.
We, tbe  undersigned,
ara entir.-ly cura-d  ot
Rupture by 1 r. J.  B.
MaYEK, 881 Arch St. Phila.
Thorn .8 B. Hm tungr, New Rint'frold, Pa., L
Sandt, South Easton. Pa., L,. I*. 9 (J. A. De*
turck, Oley, Fa., It. G. Stanley, 4.4 Sp>n « tte,
Lebanon, l'a., A. Schneider, ]_>cu.t Dale, Pa..
D. B. Noll, Limekiln, l'a., W.. . K Ilarten-
gtine. Phoenixviile. Pa., vv. M. Leinbach. 684
Washington St., Beading, l'a., J. c i yme,
1810 llowaid 89., HarrlUnurg. l'a., 0. Keehn.
Douslassvi le. Pas, Dr. MAVEK is at Botel
Penn. Beading. Pa., oa tba 2nd Saturday of
each month.   (Jail to see hin*.
THB   SAUD____*   tutmtt.
TO WEAK MEH
Suflering from the effects of youthful errors, early
decay, wasting weakness, lost manhood, etc, I will
Bend a valuable treatise (sealed) containing full
particulars for home cure, FREE0' charge. A
splendid medical work; should De read by every
man *who Is nervoua and debilitated. Address,
Trot._fiiC.J_______-.n__i_^
A pri J    '91-1 y
Quarrels come, and Ht«i*l>|, turn dark;
Partio.6 are, aud tli. parted moan;
Death stalks hy, and a landy stHrk
Lies when lova once claimed iu own:
Bnt tbe saddest tbing is a love outgrown.
A word, and tbe quarrel's smooth agaiu:
A time and the i>ai   .d claup and kiss;
And even death ia eased of pain
By hope of a reunited bliss;
But a love outgrown is stript of this.
'Tis the living form and tbe heart long dead;
"Tis the touching ha. ■ Is. yet the soul alone;
'Tis the trick to walk bride garmented
With dust and ashes npon ns t lir-iwu —
The saddest thing is a love outgrown.
—Travelers' Record.
TAKING HIV DOWN.
It is a warm af er noon in July. I mn
swinging luxuriously in a hammock,
pretending to read, Tlie hammock is
swung underneath a huge oak tree v. hicli
stands in the lower end of our garden.
My book on this particular afternoon
is not interesting, and I finally fling it
aside in disgust Jnst then a slight
noise attracts my attention, and a moment after, to my great astonishment, a
bulldog of the ugliest description appeal's in sight from beliiu I the tree. The
T.nlnna.1 yalks gravely to within a few
feet of the hammock, deliberately seats
himself and stares .solemnly at me, with
bis nose very much in the tit. He wears
a collar, on which his name and that of
his owner are engraved.
I lean ont of the hammock at a perilous angle and examine this collar, ;is I
am afraid to touch tlie ugly little beast
Presently I sink back, having discovered
that the name of tlie Jog is Ti^er aud
tbat he is the property uf J. Sylvester
Hutchin.on.
Tben I suddenly assume a more upright position, fluff up my curls a trifl.,
and glance meditatively at my negligee
costume.
I feel convinced that the dog is only
tbe herald of his master, wbo can not
be far behind 1 decide lazily that tt
will not pay to dress for Sylvester, we
are such extremely olJ friends, having
become acquainted in tender infancy.
Although not actually related, I entertain for Sylvester a somewhat cousinly
regard. To be sure, I think him rather
conceited, enA feel assured tliat the
brilliancy of hia intellect witt'* never
dazzle any one—to put it mildly. Nevertheless, he is always ao good natured
and obliging that we have ever been
most excellent frieuds. I have not seen
bim for a year or so, however—no.t since
be went to college,'-.
I am wondering, idly, whether college
life has improved him, when I hear footsteps approaching and listen for bis
-wallknown "Hello. Nell!"
I listen in vain.
The footsteps come nearer, and finally
Hr. J. Sylvester Hutchinson appears in
sight from behind the tree; bat he says
nothing for a moment, wliile I give a
little gas*> of astonishment, and then
stare at him in open mouthed wonder.
For a marvelous change has heen
wrought in my old playfellow. Ho ia.
attired in a tight fitting checked suit of
tbe largest and most conspicuous pit-
tern. His trousers, especially, are distressingly suug. His ismall face looks
out from under au enormous "pot" hat,
very ugly as to shape and color, and
outrageously unbecoming. His chin ig
propped np by a a.igb collar, which is
vainly trying to cut his throat for him.
Au eyeglass is screwed into hia right
eye. He carries a walking stick witb 9
silver top.
Aa he catches -IgUt of me he pauses.
He screws his eyeglass more firmly
into his eye and examines me atten ti veiy
for a moment. A faint gleam of intelligence then appears iu the dull vacuity of
his countenance. He moves forward
and drawls languidly:
"By Jove! Helen, didn't know yon at
first—didn't, for a fact Glad to see yoo.
Just got back yesterday. Rail right
over, you see."
I can hardly believe that this extraordinary creature is really my old playfellow. I am unable to sjteak at first;
and, meanwhile, my visitor seats himself very gingerly npon a rustic bench
The bulldog immediately "springs up and
seats himself by his master's hidj. 'Ihe
pair sit tbere and gaza at me solemnly,
wliile I mentally conclude there are a
pair of them.
"'Pon my word, Helen," Mr. Hutchinson remarks after a pause, "you don't
give a chap a very warm welcome."
I collect my scattered senses and say
feebly:
"I beg your pardon, Sylvester; but
the surprise of seeiug you startled me a
little—and then, you have changed somewhat, you know—and——**
I break down in the middle of my sentence.
"Yea," remarked Sylvester, complacently; "a fellow naturally changes as
he grows older. He must live in town,
too, if he wants to know what ia What
'Pon my word, the conntry is a deuced
bore to me now. Dont know what to
do with myself in this beastly place.
Gad! I wish yon would ask that Miss
Armstrong to visit you—saw her photo,
you know. Deucedly fetching girL
Most extraordinary eyes. Like to be
booked for a jolly little flirtation with
her—would, for a fact.
I move uneasily as the sound of Sylvester's newly acquired accent dies
away, and hurriedly, almost involuntarily, glance upward For the briefest
possible moment the leaves which hide
the seat overhead are thrust aside, and
a lovely face appears, wearing an entreating expression. The finger on the
lips, tbe energetic shaking of the head,
all seem to be pleading forsileuce on my
part
I look back at Sylvester. He has evidently seen nothing; he is staring straight
before him with a look of blank idiocy
on his face. Iran my eyes over his costume once more. I glance at tbe cano
and eyeglass, and from tbem to the disgusting little beast at bis side, w host, expression seems an exact counterpart Ot
his master's. This rapid survey decides
mea
"How strange that you should mention
May Armstrong," I remark sweetly.
"I have already invited her to visit me;
she will be here very soon—to-morrow,
in fact"
A faint expression of interest actually
dawns upon tlie impassive face. Tho
eyeglass droops in consequence.
"By Jove! but that is quite too awfully
jolly," he exclaims. *D-ucedly glad to
hear it!" Then he relapses into the languid drawl "But is she as fetching as
ber phol o, though ? Want you to coach
me before she comes. Is she op to a
little flirtation? Dont fanoy going in
strong, you know, nnless she understands all that sjrt of thing I'm not a
marrying man, yon know; and dont
want to break the little girl's heart-
deuced botht-r, that Had beastly lot of
trouble this spring; met a little girl—
awfully taking, too—rest ot the chap.
wild about Iter. I sailed in, of course,
and cut them all out D.du' t mean anything, you know—wanted to chaff the
other fellows. Never thought of becoming serious. Not tlie thing. All this
emotional business quite bad form, you
know—oat af atyla* —pisse, WeU regulated people marry for convenience nowadays, bot not for love. Little girl behind the age. Got so fond of me I had
to cut fie towBT**-**had to, for a fact.
Deucedly careful now."
There is the fain-est po .ibla rustle in
tlie leaves of the "greenwood tre),"and
a leaf flciits slowly dow« ard I manage to ats.aic a serious expression, and
say solemnly:
"I am glad yon mentioned this, Sylt
vester.   I want to warn you, though,
before May Cannes, not to be too fascinating; for she is an unusually susceptible girL She h . a i. ved ht the country,
you know, ami I donbt if she has ever
met a young gentleman like yoa. You
can imagine what the effect witt be if
yoa carry tlie flirtation too far; so I
caution you to be carefuL If she should
grow too fond of you, and lose her peace
of mind, I should never cense to regret
it, knowing aa I do that you are not a
marrying man."
The branc* es overhead rustle once
more, as if » breath of wind wore passing over them. Something appear* for
a moment, which resembles a small
clinched fist, shaken savagely in my direction.
Mr. Hutchinson has been engng *d ia
adjusting his eyeglass. He smiles complacently when 1 finish speaking and
murmurs:
"Quite correct Always well to understand in time. 'Pon honor, IH ba
careful! Have to be, up here—no rivals,
you know—all smooth sailing."
"There is George Monroe," I say involuntarily.
"'Oh, Geawge is nobody," returns Sylvester wtth increased complacency.
"Tremendously stupid chap, Geawge.
No fear of him. Have it all my own
way, you see." •
I do not see, but refrain from saying
so; and Sylvester continues, as he rises
stiffly upon his seemingly wooden  legs:
"Think I must g. now. Be over again
coon. Want to see the little girL Take
her to ride in my cart You must seo
my cart—simply immense. Quite the
correct thing, my cart."
He takes np his cane, and holds it, to*
gether wtth his gloves, before him, in the
latest and most approved manner.
"Wdl, see yoa tomorrow "night, ]
fancy.   Come, Tiger."
The pair placed themselves in position.
Tiger following close on his master's
heels. •
I am not left long to my reflections.
As soon as the gate clicks, May Armstrong comes tumbling out of the tree in
a manner more expressive of haste than
dignity.    She pounces upon me at once.
"Yoa wretch! you villain! yoa slanderer! Oh, I'm very susceptible, am I?
Lived always in the country, have I?"
An expression of gleeful anticipation
dawns upon her flushed countenance.
"Won'tI teach him a lesson, though?"
she murmers fervently.
So, on tlie following evening, I relentlessly give him into the hands of tha
lovely and seemingly artless May, who
plays tba role of simple country maiden
to perfection. I give him over without
remorse, though I know that May has
the reputation of being an accomplished
and artful little flirt, wbo counted her
victims by the dozen.
A month goes by. If, during that
time, a day passes in which Mr. J. Sylvester Hutchinson does not "Jast drop
in for a moment, yon know," I oan not
remember it Between him and George
Monroe, May has little time to herself.
One pleasant afternoon May goes for
a drive in the "cart," while I betake
myself to my favorite seat, bigh up in
the "greenwood tree."
After a time my attention is aroused
by the sound of approaching voices.
May has returned from her drive and
is accompanied, as usual, by her ever
faithful "shadow."
Tbe two seat themselves on the rustic
bench I peep through the leaves at
them and note how lovely May looks as
she removes her hat and fans her flushed
face. I also observe that the attire of
Mr. Hutchinson is exceptionally gorgeous and that there is an anxious ex-
laression on his usually vacant c .unte-
nance. As I look, he begins to speak, and
his voice actually trembles.
"Ton my word, Miss May," lie says,
"you ara awfully unkind Yoa don't
treat a chap fairly—yoa don't now, for
a fact I meant every word I said dor.
ing our drive—I did, 'pon honor. Yoa
really mustn't laugh when I am so serious. A fellow doesn't like that sort of
thing, you know."
"I beg your pardon, Mr. Hu'chinson,
if I have offended yoo," says May
sweetly, "bat really I have no idea to
what you are referring."
"Oil, come now," says Ry 1 vester complacently. "I can't l>elieve that — I
really can't, yoa know. You probably
thought that 1 did not mean it—-hot I
did I love you, May—'pon my word, I
da Quite adore yoo, in fact I am net
a marrying man—that is, I never was
uniil now; bnt si ce meeting yua, whv
—aw yoa know—Oh, deuce take tt all!"
he exclaims, becoming excited, whi.o
his eyeglass shoots wildly trow his eye.
"Just say the word, and Vtt marry
you to-morrow, no matter what the fellows say."
I can not keep my eyes from strnyin****
over tbe edge of the volume in the direction of the rustic bench. Neither
can I help hearing May say sarcastically:
"Your magnanimity, Sir. Hutchinson,
quite overpowers me. Believe ine, I am
truly grateful for your kind condescension. At the same time I -can never allow you to do anything that is such extremely bad form. I have always admired you, Mr. Hutchinson, as a young
man who always, under every circumstance, made it a point to do the'correct' thing. In this respect y..u excel
any young man I eva>r met You must
be aware, thou ih, that this sort of a
thing—this emotional business, this love
and adoration which you mention—Is
not good form. 'Well regulat. d people
marrv for convenience nowadays, not
for love. That ia out of style—quite
passe. Whatever my feelings mar b>,
I can never allow you to fall from tho
pinnacle where I have placed you, by
doing that which on the face of it, is so
plainly—not the thing "
"Oh, bother the fashion," cries Sylvester. "I cant help loving yoa, yoa
know—tried to, bat couldn't Never
was spoons on a girl before; but this is
the genuine articla I know what yoa
say is true—tt isn't correct at alL Tho
chaps will chaff me no end; but hang it
all, May, I'll marry you to-morrow, in
spite of thein."
"Pardon me, Mr. Hutchinson," says
May politely, "but I must beg leave to
differ from you."
Sylvester screws in his eyeglass and
stares at her for a moment
"Oh—aw—you mean *
"Yes," says Miss May severely. "I
mean that I really find myself unable to
consent to the arrangement *
"Why—why," Sylvester stammers, "I
am serious. I mean it Do you fancy I
am trifling or flirting? I own that I was
at first; but now I am in dead earnest.
I am, 'pon honor. "
"I am *»wy sorry," says May softly.
"Dont yoa care for me?" asks Sylvester wtth a little inflection of surprise.
"Give me a chance, then, and I will
make yen love me—I will, now, 'pon my
word I will do anything that you say.
I wfll "
"There is no use in talking farther on
this subject," interrupts May firmly.
•I, too, am ia earnest when I say I can
never marry yoa."
Ife. Hutchinson draws himself op hia
dignified manner. His chin is very
much in tfae air as he inquires loftily:
"May I ask why?"
"Certainly," responds May cheerfully.
"I have three very good reasons: First,
J. do not love yoo. Secondly, I am quite
convinced that I ca>i never learn to love
yoa, and, being a couniry girl and unsophisticated, as vou know, I am old
fashioned enough to res> Ive to marry for
love and nothing else. Thirdly—and
tbis is the principal reason, as yoa will
•see—I am engaged to George Monroe."
I feel that I would irivo world| if I
were an artist, and able to transfer to
paper the expression wliich appears on
the face of Mr. J. Sylvester Hutchinson.
Rising with great dignity, he tays formally:
"I will bid you good by, Miss Armstrong. "
May does not remain with mo much
longer. She is obliged to go ho:no ia
order to prepare for a certain interesting
event, ia which I am to figure aa bridesmaid Ou tlie day of her departure I
hasten to my usual retreat in the garden.
There I flnd Sylvester aad the faithful
Tiger, seated side by side on the rustic
bench, la their favorite p.witio i. A suspicion of melancholy hangs over thein.
I drop into the hammock and say dolefully:
"Well, she has gone, aud I am so
lonely I db not kaow what to do with
myself."
Ife. Hutchinson sucks the head of his
cane  and  gazes passively into vacancy.
"By the way, S* >ester," I continue
cruelly, "how did your flirtati >n get
oa?"
He starts a little, and removes the
cane long enough   o say carelessly:
"Oh, nicely, thanks.*** Deucedly pretty
girl is May."
"Yes," I return; "she is the prettiest
girl I ever saw." After a moment, I
continue hypocrii cally: "I was quite
surprised when I heard she was engaged
to George. I really think yoa ou^ht to
have been the happy man; you certainly
had first chance. *
"Didn't care for the honor," replies
Sylvester coolly. "Could have married
ber fast enough if I had wanted. Not
my style, though Nice little thing, ua
far as flirting goes; but, .as to marrying—
aw, no—couldn't think of it"
Tlie expression of Sylvester's eye behind it strikes me as being rather singular.   He says hurriedly:
"Helen, are yoa to be bridesmaid—
hers, you know?"
"Yes," I answer promptly, wondering
what is coming next
"Well, then—I say, let's alter the program—let's make it a double wedding."
"What?" I exclaim in amazement
"Oh, I mean it" he continues, noting
my astonishment "Always been fond
of you—awfully fond Just say the
word and we'll make tt a doable affair-
jolly surprise all round—no end of fun."
He smiles in au idiotic way, and looks
at me, evidently ia some doubt as to
how I shall take his extraordinary proposition. I recognize his motives at once.
May's refusal has gone deeper than we
thought; his vanity has received a
severe wound Ia his anxiety to show
May that he does not care in the least
he coolly proposes to marry me out of
pique.
For a moment my indignation does
not allow me to speak.
"Sylvester Hutchinson," I cry hotly,
"I wish I could fin>i words strong enough
to express my disgust and indignation.
I gave you credit for po s ssiug at least
one grain of sense. I i h< >u.jht one lesson
would be sufficient for yoa, hot it seems
I was mistaken. If you ever propose to
a young lady again, do not, if she refuses yoo, propose to her most intimate
frieud withia a week's, timo. Be careful, also, not to make your offers of
marriage under a tree which holds a very
convenient seat where s_6i_ai.ee listener
may—involuntarily, of course—hear all
your fervent vows and prote tation's.
Tbus I leave him, a crushed, defeated,
utterly routed—but, let us hope, somewhat wiser—being, sitting there, an abject spectacle iu spite of Ms gorgeous
array, oa the old rustic bench, under tbe
traitorous "greenwood tree. "
THE   STOKE   BREAKER.
There was once in Japan—at a time so
remote that savants hardly dare speak of
it—a poor little stone breaker who worked
upon the highways.
He worked upon the highways, while
it was daylight, all the time, during all
seasons, under the rain, the snow, or the
sun. He was always half dead with fatigue, three-quarters dead from hunger,
and was not at all contented with his fate.
"Oh! how I would thank Heaven,"
said he, "if I could one day be bat rich
enough to sleep the whole morning
through, and eat and drink my fill. It is
said there exist people, blessed by fortune,
who thus live ia ease aud comfort.
Stretched upon thick mats before my
door, my back covered with soft vestments of silk, I would make a siesta to be
broken every quarter of an hour by a servitor who should r.xall to me that I had
nothing to do, and that I oould sleep
without remorse."
An angel passing heard these words
and smiled. "Thy prayer be granted,
poor man,." said he.
And suddenly the stone breaker, enveloped in sumptuous vestments of silk,
found himself stretched upon some thick
mats before the dc.*r of a splendid dwelling. He was no lou-jer hungry or thirsty,
no longer tired, aad all this appeared to
him as agreeable as it was surprising.
He tasted during a half hour unknown
happiness, when tlie Mikado chanced to
pass. The Mikad A That was ao small
matter—no! The _Iikado is the emperor
of Japan and the emperor of Japan was,
at that time, above all, the most power-
f d ef the emperors of tlie Orient.
Preceded by couriers, the Mikado wm
traveling for pie. ;ure, surrounded by
cavaliers all deco-ated and bedizened,
like the Grand Turk of Turkey, followed
Ity famous warriors, escorted by musicians, accompanied by women, tlie mosl
beautiful in the world, who dozed ia
their silver howdahs perched upon whits
elephants.
The Mikado reposed upon eider down.
in a palanquin of tine gold studded witb
precious stones. His prime minister had
the unparalleled L .nor of holding abovs
hia head a great tinkling parasol, aS
fringed with little bells.
The enriched stone breaker followed
with an envious eye the Imperial cortege.
"I haven't gained much," he said to
himself. "I am not much happier for tbt
few paltry pleasures I am enabled to giv«
myself. Oh, that I were the Mikado! 1
would travel in grand state, lolling in a
golden palanquin blazing with preeiout
s ones, attended by my prime miuistci
.•olding a great glittering parasol over
me, while my second minister should
0 >ol my face with a fan made of peacock's feathers. Ah! that I could be tha
Mikado!"
"Your wish is granted," said theangel.
And immediately he saw himself
stretched in tbe palanquin of fine gold,
starred with precious stones, and surrounded by his ministers, his warriors,
his women, and his slaves, who said tu
him in Japanese:
"Mikado, thou art superior to the sun
—thou art eternal—thou art invincible.
All that the spirit of man can conceive
thou canst execute. Justice itself is sub
ordinate to thy witt, and God, trembling,
awaits thy counsels."
And the stone breaker said to himself:
"Ah! happy day! Now, here are people
who know my value."
1 The sun, which had been very fierce foi
some days, had parched the country.
The route was dusty and the sun's glare fa-
t'gued the eyes of the new made Mikado.
Addressing his minister who carried
Vie tinkling parasol, he said;
"Make known to the sun that he
troubles me. His familiarities displease
me. Say to him that tbe grand emperoi
of Japan commands him to retire.   Go!"
The   prime   minister  confided   to  a
chamberlain the honor of carrying the
tinkling parasol, and went away.
I   Be returned, presently, with the great
est consternation written in his face.
"Great emperor! Sovereign of ths
gods and of man! It is past comprehension. The suu pretends not to hear, and
continues to shine on the road."
"Let him be punished."
"Certainly! His insolence merits it—
but how shall I get at him to administer
the punishment?"
"I am the equal of the gods—ia it not
so?"
"Assuredly, great Mikado—the equal,
to say the least."
"Yeu told me, but a moment since.
that nothing was impossible to me. Yoa
have lied to me—you liave disobeyed me,
or you have badly executed my orders.
I give you live minutes in which to put
out tlie sun, or 10 ia which to commit
bari kari.   Go!"
The prime minister went away, butdid
not return.
The imperial stone breaker was purple
with rage.
"Upon my word! This is a fine position—this of emperor, when one ia
obliged to submit to the familiarities, the
■•aprices, the brutalities of a moving
planet It is no ase to deny it, the sun is
more powerful than I. I would like to
be the sun."
"You are the sun," said the angel.
And the little stone breaker shone in
high heavens, all radiant, all flaming,
lie took pleasure in scorching tbe trees,
in drying up the rivers and the springs,
■ind in covering with sweat the august
visages of emperors, no less than the
•lusty noses of the stone breakers, liis colleagues of tbe morning.
But a cloud came between the earth
und bim, and the cloud said:
"Halt there!   my dear.   No one can
"By the moon! This ia a little too
much. A cloud, a poor little cloud, without form, calls me 'my dear' and bars the
way! Clouds are more powerful than L
I will be a cloud or I shall burst with
jealousy."
"Do not burst for so little," said the
angel, always in attendance, "be acloud,
since you wish it." And the new cloud
rested proudly, in his turn, between the
earth and the resplendent sun.
Never in the memory of God had there
fallen such showers. Tlie transformed
stone breaker took pleasure in pouring
rain and hail upon the earth in a fashion
so terriole that trees fell down, finding
only mud in which to fasten their roots.
Under bis aquatic rule of several hours,
streams became rivers; rivers became
torrents; seas merged into each other, and
formidable waterspouts were everywhere.
A rock, meanwhile, held aphis head in
the storm. In face of all he remained
impassive. Upon his flanks of granite
the waves dashed, covering with froth
the waterspouts breaking at his feet; and
the thunder made him laugh each time
that it tickled his sides.
" I am at my wits' end," said the cloud.
"This rock ignores my power. He resists me, and I envy him."
Said the angel—"Take his place, and
let us see if you will at last be satisfied."
The transformed cloud at length felt at
ease. Impervious, inaccessible, impassive, under the burning caresses of tba
sun and under the fury of the thunder-
he believed himself master of the world.
But lo, at his feet a little soft hammering drew his attention. He leaned over
aad aaw a poor creature,, earned with
rags—thin and pale as he himself had
been in the time of his greatest misery—
who, with a mallet in his hand, chipped
the granite into pieces to repair _te
neighboring roadway.
"What is tliia?" cried the superb rock,
"a poor wretch, miserable among tka
most miserable, mutilates me and I can
not defend myself! I am profoundly
humiliated. I aaa reduced to envying
the state of this creature."
"Take his place," said the angel, smiling.
..Ind the insatiable personage became
that which he was before—a poor Uttle
breaker of stones.
As in the past he worked upon the
roads while there was light all the time,
in all seasons, under the rain, the snow,
or the sun.
He was always half dead from hunger,
and three-quarters dead from fatigue—
all of which did not hinder him from being perfectly  contented with hia lots-
French of Ernest L'Epine.
Hard to Swallow.
The teller of "tall stories" generally
finds his rebuke awaiting him in aa intelligent company. Oa one occasion,
when several physicians had met, the
conversation ran to tbe subject of the
extraordinary things which a human being might swallow and still live.
The familiar stories about swallowing
silver dollars, sets of false teeth, aud so
forth, had been related, when Doctor
Longbow began to to speak.
"Two years ago," he said,"I was called
in great haste to attend a carpenter in
my town, though the message said tbat
the man was beyond doubt already dead,
for be had, while holding a large gimlet
in his mouth at bia work, suddenly been
taken with a fit of hiccoughs and" swallowed the gimlet
But whea I arrived at the man's bouse
I found him very comfortable. Tlie gimlet, gentlemen, gave him no trouble ai
all to digest"
There was silence for a moment Presently one of the other doctors remarked:
"With you for his physician, Longbow, tlie man was lucky that it was
only a gimlet that he undertook to swallow."
" What do you mean I"
"Way, if he had tried to swallow one
of your stories it would have choked bin
to death."
The Good Young Wife.
There is a young married woman ol
my acquaintance whose first wifely ex*
perience with the needle resulted in a
capital joke on her. She found what appeared to be two immense rips on the inside of the tails of bar husband's frock
coat, and while he was downtown she
carefully sewed them up. When the
young man came home to lunch his wife
met him, coat in hand.
"Tve just mended it," she said; "there
were two awful rips in the tail of it."
"Let me see," said tba husband of tfae
industrious young woman. "I didn't
know there was a tear in it."
" Yes, there was; right there."
"But those are the "
The young man caught the look of innocent doubt on his wife's face an.l
stopped.
"Yes, those were fearful rips—things
were getting in them all the time."
And the young man went down to his
office and picked out tlie threads in order
to get at his bankbook and a few letters
that he had ia tin se tail pockets.—Kansas City Times.
To Uur Subscribers.
The Bpecial announcement whicb appeared in oar columns some time since,
announcing a special arrangement with
Dr. B. J. Kendall Co., of Enosburgh
Falls, Vt., publishers of "A Treatise on
the Horse aud hia diseases," a here by our
subscribers were enabled to obtaiu a copy
of tbat valuable work free by sending
their address to B. J. Kendall Co (and en
closing a two-cent stamp for mailing same)
is renewed fora limited period. We trust
all will avail themselves of tbe opportunity
of obtaining tbia valuable work. Toevery
lover of the horse it is indispei sable, an it
treats ia a simule manner all tbe diseases
wbieb afflict this noble animal. Its phenomenal sale throughout tbe United States
and Canada, make it standard authority
Mention this paper when sending fer "Trea
tite."
i&VVED E VERX  WEDXESDA I Mt
W. J. BURNSIDE,
■1 K. Nintb street, LcktnuB, fa
TERMS Ot SVBSCRirTIOH
ONE YEAR. - . $|.5o
IN VARIABLY lit ADVANCE.
tSTThe above rate includes payment
of postage by ua. Subscriptions cau
commence any time during the year
\
Bill Snort's Letter.
BY ALEX. E. SWEET.
Syndicate Cottage by the Sea
Sept. 5, 1891.
To Major Dan McGary, Houston, Tex.:
Mt Dear Major:—! attended the
celebration at the Battle of Bennington
with considerable eclat and President
Harrison. We are now at Saratoga. Tlie
real object of oar trip ia to infuse new
life into Harrison's boomlet, which hits
got something the matter with It. As
all otber remedies have failed perhaps the
Geyser spring water will help it, although
my private opinion is tbat it is past praying for. lt dwindles away like the Prohibition vote in Kentucky.
Of course, I try to conceal the true
condition of the Harrison boomlet from
its fond pan-iit. When the puny litt le
wait smiles in its sleep the deluded parent
imagines second term angels are whispering to it, but I know that it has got wind
on its Utile stomach. It is suffering
from tbe McKinley colic. This dread
disease is very fatal even with the most
promising political infanta. Tbe Western graveyards became congested with
defuuet boomlets after the last election,
all of wbom were afflicted with this painful disorder.
As tbe atmosphere of Syndicate Cottage
does not agree with the boomlet, I suggested that we accept the invitation to
attend the memorial exercises at Bennington, and simultaneously to visit Saratoga, wbich is a kiud of sanitarium for
crippled boomlets. Harrison consented
to sbed the refulgence of bis whiskers on
tbose occasions, but he made aay blood
run cold when be hinted that be would
emit a few impromptu speeches en route.
"Mr. President," said I, "let somebody
else make your impromptu speeches, if
you don't want to regret it afterward.
Ur, at least, write tbem out beforehand.
The ifnpromtu speaker should wear a
porous plaster over bis mouth and talk
through the holes.
"I might drop a few complimentary
remarks about Major McKinley," said
Harrison suggestively.
"Yes, and have somebody in the crowd
ask you to explain the drop in the price
of wool since McKinley's efforts to raise
it. Don't take any foolish risks Mr.
President."
''Major McKinley writes tbat he sees
victory abead," said Harrison.
"The . MajahV ayesigbt has become
impaired by tbe smoke of tbe campaign.
If, however, yoo must make a speech, say
something about why your father-in-law
left the White House. "
The President, who was writing out an
impromptu speech, made a deprecatory
gesture and said hoarsely, "D——. breed
of Scots, tbev are a lot of —— —
___, » I [»;»]** | >>
He made a gesture like a man who has
bet on the wrong borse.
Postmaster General Wanamaker did
not go along on this trip. I asked Wanny
wby he did not go along with us. He
whispeied mysteriously: "If I were to
do.so people would say I had skipped for
Canada. Wben you once become connected with Harrison's administration
people lose all confidence in yoo. You
are judged by the company you keep.
Col. Snort, I want you to do me a favor."
"What is it P" I asked.
**lTota will probably be called oa for a
speech at the Bennington celebration.
Remind tbe worthy descendants of those
heroic revolutionary sires that wbile eternal vigilance is the price of liberty, fancy
gent's hose bave been cut dowa to 17
cents a pair by Honest John Wanamaker
of Philadelphia. Warn them against
buying gentlemanly fall underwear without first calling on the P. M. General for
the lowest figures. Here is a check. Col.
Snort, to pay your expenses."
Only once during tha run ta Jersey
City did Harrison attempt to beguile the
people with bigh protective theories, and
that was at Camden, N. J- It was an
early hour of the morning, and a crowd
of workmen were at the station. Before
1 could bead bim off Harrison wasouton
the platform.   He said:
"'Feller citizens—Tbe Bepublican party
is the friend of the working man. A
protective tariff "
"Makes us pay more for what we get,
and get less for wbat we do," replied a
fieckle-faced man with a tin pail, preparing to waft something at us.
'"At the next election we shall see star
aftei star in tbe galaxy of our triumphs I"
bowled Harrison, dodging a dead cat.
"O, we'll make you see stars next election 1  Don't worry about that," aaid the
workingman, as the train moved off in
obedience to my f rani ie pulls at the bell
rope.   Oue egg of the vintage of 1826 ex-
I ploded oo my shirt bosom, but as I have
I a recipe fur washing out the stains, I
didn't mind it much, although I lait bad
because Harrison didn't get it, as he de*
I served.   I congratulated tbe President
I laat we were aot making  high   tariff
' speeches in Texas, where eggs are only
eight cents a dozen.
Harrison >s beginning to realize tbat it
is tlie early candidate that catches the
most mud.
At Jersey City a sad disappointment
awaited ua Russ Ilarrison, tbe Presidential aoa, bearded tbe train. It was
understood tbat ltuss was uot to be inthe
patty. When Lige Halford saw him he
-.i-riied heavily, and an expression of woe
froze on his face similar to that of a man
iato whose hollow tooth a bitter aloes pill
has rolled a here he can't reach Ik Russ
wore yellow shoes and the air of a man
w ho is laired. He also wore a h igh collar,
which reminded one of a whitewashed
fence around a lunai ic asylum. Ilarrison
greeted his offspring effusively. He bad
just read ia Russ' Montana paper a
vicious dig at Blaine, to the effect that
Blaine was too sick to run for the Presidency, aa he was unable to help McKinley out ia Ohio.
Russ was loaded to the muzzle with
impoi ted English hand-made puns, which
be tired off all along the route. That
'high roller,'* Aikell, also got over a
shower of puns from Dan to Beersheba,
which caused Lige Halford to remark,
cyLiiealiy, tbat there was no necessity for
a clostd season for buffoons as far as
present company was concerned.
There were Tory few people and no
cannon or music at the stations along the
road. Tbe explanation for this was ltuss
telegraphing ahead that the President
was on the train. Bnt at Albany we got
a lousing reception, thanks to Governor
Hill. But for tbe Democrats it would
have been cold enough to organize a tobogganing party. In fact, all along the
route we got jeers instead of cheers, and
tbe people were much more interested in
his farewell than in his welfare.
I asked Dave Hill, with whom I am
personally acquainted, wbat be meant by
makiug such a fool of tbe old man. Ho
said he did it to encourage him lo run for
a second term, as then the Democratio
candidate would have a walk-over.
Tbe blip bas cost us very little cash. I
bave promised all tbe nigger waiters and
porters the Hayti mission instead of paying them the regular lip. Arkell and
tbe President tried to work a similar
game on a Saratoga hotel keeper, and are
now being exposed by the local press. It
takes an experienced Texas journalist to
work that game successfully.
Russ is feeling bad. Be stood at the
door after par had made a speech to bear
the comments of the people as they came
out. He will never try it again. It was
like sampling a barrel of eggs, and he
can't get tbe taste out of his mouth.
Our second term boomlet suffers from
swelled head, enlargement of tbe gall, a
la Tom Reed, aggravated by acute Rus-
sellites and chronic Arkellaria. Ultimately—and ao) ao very ultimately,
either—we will have to plant Harrison's
boomlet under the Indiana daisies.
Yours for Reform,
Bill Short.
11-tHIHO PILES.
SYMPTohs — Moisture; intense itching
and stinging; most at nigbt; worse by
scratching, if allowed to continue tumors
form, whicb often bleed and ulcerate, becoming very sore. Swayne's Oihtmeht
stops tbe itching and bleeding, heals ulceration, and in many cases removes the tumor. It ia equally edacious in ouring all
Skin Diseases. DR. SWAYNE & SON,
Proprietors, Philadelphia. Swayne's
.Ointment can be obtained of druggists.
Sent by mail for 50 centa.