Lebanon Advertiser

              mmSsa
-H-fe_
Uaittoatis.
nORN WAIX * -EBAS OS BAILROAD
CIBICt EOUTK FOK ALL POINTS ON THE
PENNSYLVANIA KAILltOAD.
9trmm9tanrtnt of Passenser Trains.
On aud alter Monday, July -20th, ltai, tlie
passenger trains will run as follows -.
Leave— An   __m   ak   pm   ph   pm
Isebanon........    8:25   9:00 10:45   2:00   .1:15   7:10
Cornwall    6-W   *10 10:97   2:12   3:W   7.20
Mmrctna......   9:13   9:20 11:07   2:22   3:37   7:30
Arrive— ~w   ah   pm   pm   pm   pm
Lancaster.......   8:10 10:25 12:58   3:55   4:45   8:40
rm  tn
Philadelphia....   10:20 12:16   3:15 6:45   6:50 10:55
pm* ax
New York........ 1:20  2:30  5:50   9.20  9:35 3.50
--«*«- _•■
Harrisburg   7:30 11:00 12:01   8:20 .. ..   SMS
Williamsport....IMS   .... 3:05   7*09 ....   3:25
Pittsburg........   650 8:10  ...... 11:55   ....   4:45
Leave— am   am   am   am   pm   rM
New  York...... 12:15   ........   9:00  ....   3:00
Philadelphia.... 4:30   ....   8:50 11:40 11:45   5:20
Lancaster 6:25    .... VTJS1  2:00  2:50  7:25
Harrisburg...... 7*00    9.25 11:50   2:85   3:40   7:30
Williamsport...   2:40    ....   8:25   .... 12:30 4:00
Pittsburg 8:ll> -ttl  ....7:15  8:00
•**.■■>■ 1 AM     AM    FM     PK    PM    PM
Mt. Gretna......   8*00 10:20 12:45   3:35   4:35   8:40
Oornwall    S:«8 10:30 12:55   3:45   4:45   i-:o0
Lebanon     8:20 10:40   1:05   3:55   4:55   9:00
Mt. Gretna Park proved Its popularity by
the largely increased business of 1890.
There will be many Improvements for the
season ol 1891. _   -
K. B. GOUDON.
Gen'l. Passenger Agent.
NED IRISH. Gen'l. Supt.
Dec. 31,1890.
-OHllsADELPHIA *R EADING KAILKOAD
AUKANGEMENT OF PASSENGER TRAINS
JTJLY 19, -1891.
TKAINS LKAVK LEBANON.
For New York via Philadelphia, Week-days,
7-07,8:90,10:30 a. m., 2:17, 4:40 and 6:46 p. aa.;
Sunday, 2:45 and 4:49 p. m.
For New York via ADentown, Weekdays, 7:07,
8:50 a. aa., 12:56.2:17 p. m.   Sunday, 7:11 a. m.
For Philadelphia, Weekdays, 6:05, 7:07, 8:50,
lo:30 a. m., 2:17, 4.46 and 6:46 p. m.; Sunday,
7:42 a. in., 2:45,4:40 and 6:40 p. in.
For Middletown, Weekdays, 6:02. 8:23 a. m ,
12:56,5:15,707and 11:20p.m.; Sunday,9:54and
11:48 a. m.
For Readins*, Weekdays, 6:05, 7:07 (Fast Kxpress) 8:50,10:30 a. m.. 12:56, 2:17, 4:40, 6:46, 9:13
p.m.   Sunday, 7:4_,9*.43a.m.,2:45, 4:49and 6:40
•.aa.
For Allentown, Weekdays, 6:05, 7:07, 8:50 a. m.,
12:56,2:17 and 4:40 p. m.; Snnday, 7:42, 9:43 a
. m., 4:49 p. m.
For Harrisburg, Weekdays, 6*02, 8:23, 10:58 a.
m.. 12:55, 2:22, 5:15, 7:07, 8:46 (Past Express),
and 11-20 p. ML; Sunday, 9:54,11:48 a. in., 5:04,
7:04,11:20 p.m.
TKAINS FOR LEBANON.
Leave New York via Allentown, Weekdays
4:30 and 8*45 a. ui., 1:00, 3:45, and 5:45 p. m.
Sunday, 5:30 p. m.
Leave New York via Philadelphia, Weekday).,
7:45 and 11:30 a m., 1:30. 4:00, 5:00 p. Bl., and
12:15 midnight: Sunday, 5:00 p. m.
Leave Philadelphia. Weekdays, 4:10. 8:35, 10:00
a. m., 1:40,4:00. 6:00, 7:15 p. m.; Sunday, 6:30
and 9:00 a. m., and 3:40,7:15 p. m.
Leave Heading, Weekdays, 5:00, 7:15,10:19,11:50
a m., 1:27, 4.20, 6:00,7:57 and 10:25 p. m. Sundays, 8:50,10:48 a. m., 4:00, 6:00, 10:25 p. m.
Leave Allentown. Weekdays, 5:57, 8:35 a. m.,
12:10,4:25,6:10,9:05 p. in.; Sunday, 7:25 a. m.,
4*25 and 9:50 p. m.
Leave Harrisburg, Weekdays, 5:10, 625, 7:55,
9*31 a.m., 12:00 noon, 1:25, 3:45, 5:50, and 8:10
p. m. Sundays, 6:50, 8:50 a. m., 2:00. 4:00, 5:45
p. m.
ATLANTIC CITY DIVISION.
Leave   Philadelphia   and   Chestnut    Street
Wharl, and South Street Wharf.
FOK ATLANTIC CITY.
Weekdays—Express, 5:15,8:00,9:00, 10:45 a. m.,
1:00, (Saturdays only, 1:30), 2:00, 3:00, 3:30, 4:00,
5:00, 6:00, p.   m.   Accommodorion,  7:40, a. m.,
and 4:15, 6.30 p.m.
Sundays—Express. 5:15, 7:00, 7 30, 8.00 8:30, 9:00,
9:30,  a. ml, and 4:30, p. m.   Aceommadution,
8:00, a. m , and 4:15 p:m.
WeekSdays—Kxpress. 7:00, 7:30 8:00, 9.00, lttOO
a. m., 3.15, 4.00, 5.30, 6.30, 7 30, 930 p m. Accommodation, 6.00,8.10 a. iu. and 4*30 p. m.—
Sundays—Kxpress, 3 30, 4.00, 5.00, 6 00, 630,
7,00, 7.30, 8.00, 930 p. m. Accommodation,
7.30 a. m. and 5,05 p. m.
A. A. MoLKOO,
C. G. Haxoock, Gen'l. Passenger Agent.
Apr. 21—tt.  *•
NiisluiiFiiiLiui
On and after Ifov. tid, 1890, trains will leave
Lebanon as follows, connecting at Conewago
lor all points tm the Pennsylvania Bailroad;
I .eave Lebanon ut 6.25 a. m. Arrive at cone-
*m_o 7.05 a. m., Lancaster 8.10 a. m , Philadel-
Ehia 10.20 a. m., New York 1.20 p. m., Harris-
urg 7.30 a. m., Altoona 1.45 p -m., Pittsburg
6.50 p.m. This train makes olose connectloi
at llarrisburg tor points on the Northern Central and PhlaLdelphla& Erie Railroad.
Leave Lebanon 10.15 a. m. Arrive at Conewago 10.55a. m.. Harrisburg 12.01 p. ui. Arrive
at Lancaster 11.35a.m., Philadelphia 1.25 p. m
New York 4.00 p.m. This train makes close
connection at Harrisburg* for points on the
Northern Central and P. Jt E. R. R.
Leave Lebanon 11.30 a.m. Arrive at Conewago 12.15 p. m., Lancaster 12.58 p. m., Philadelphia 3.15 p. m.. New York 5.50 p. m.
Leave Lebanon 2.00 p. m., arrive at Conewago 2.45 p. m., Lancaster 4.55 p.m. Philadelphia 6.60 p. m.. New York 9.36 p. m.. llarrisburg 3.20 p. m., Altoona 7.60 p. m., Pittsburg
11.55 p.m., Baltimore 7.00 p. m., Washington
8.60 p. m. _ „
Leave Lebanon 3.15 p. m. Arrive at Cone
wago 4.00 p. m., Lancaster, 4.45 p. m., Philadelphia 6.50 p. m.. Hew York 9.35 p. m.
Leave Lebanon 7.10 p.m. Arrive at Conewago?^ p. m., Lancaster 8.40 p. m., Philadelphia 10.55 p. an., Harrisbua-g 8.45 p. m.
CHAS. E. PUUH. *.%. WOOD,
Oeneral Manager. Genl. Passr. Agt.
Dec. 3. 1890.   i  .
QROGERIES! GROCERIES!
WHOLESALE ASD RETAIL.
 )o(	
FISH, OYSTERS, BANANAS,
GARDEN VEGETABLES,
BUTTER and EGGS.
—)o(—
No stale or old stock on hand.   Fresh
supplies received dally from Philadelphia and Hew Yoik markets, and from
the country.
Goods delivered promptly snd ln
prime condition.
Kvery thing tbe housekeeper ean desire, rf ihe best quality and at reasonable prices.
LORENZO SIICGAR,
N. W Cor. Seventh and Cumberland Sts
Sural .. HI. I.xhanom. P
8. U. REINOEHL.   M. W. REINOEHL.
H. A. REINOEHL.
RUM LUMBEB Cl.
Successors to Keinoehl & Meily.
OFFICE
PLANING MILL
ANDYARD8
EIGHTH IMrajTHBR
White Pins, Yellow Pine and Yellow
Poplar, Hemlock, Laths, Pickets, Shingles.
Hard Woods, aod manufacturers of Doors
Saab, Blinds,   Carvings,.  Moulding
Flooring, Turning, Scroll Sawing.
Persona in want of anything in our Uaa
wfll find it to their interest to examine
our stock. Jan. 15-1/
AGENCY*»M
WIS
i A pamphlet Of information and ab-
\struct of the laws, showing Uow to^
\ Obtain Patents, Caveiits, TryT
v. Marks, Copyrights, ietd free
' ^Addrwt MUNN   * CO.
^3-tfl   Broadway,
New York.
____**
imm
VOL. 44.-NO. 5.
LEBANON, LEBANON COUNTY, PA., WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 5.1891.
WHOLE NO.-2187.
CORNWALL BAILROAD.
Lebanon & Lancaster Joint-Line.
C-SF~Shortest route for Lancaster and all points east and west.~^_|
On and after May 10th. 1891, Pxssenge. Trains will be nan as follows :
p.m.
7 15
let
729
73S
7 41
753
8 25
p.m.
p.m.ip.m.
3 10,12 at
annate
3 24 12 49
3 31
12 56
1 00
IIS
1 55
200
pm-
.m.
lt(S
11 is
11 19
11 26
a m.
9 10
9 21
9 24
9 31
a.m.
a.m
7 12
70
7 30
7 39
7 45
758
8 27
922
a.m.
a m
6.SO
8 46
6 50
a.m.
Leave. Arrive.
 Lebanon	
 Cornwall.....	
•a.... Miners' Village	
 Penryn.	
..........Mt. Hope.	
 Hanheim	
.. Kim* Street, Lancaster...
 Columbia	
Arrive. Leave.
il.IU
< 8 U
' 7 59
1 7 56
! 7»
7 4
7 33
7 0s'
a.m.
p.m.
3 4<i
3 55
3 58
•i'io
422
504
505
p.m.
p.m.
12 30
12 42
12 45
p.m.
aa. I   Leave.       SUNUAIS.       Arrive.
7 St  ..Lebanon................
8 10 .Cornwall................
SB  ...Miners' Tillage	
....  Penryn	
8 27  ..Mt Hope	
8 39 ................ Manheim	
8 50  King Btreet, Lancaster........
• 20  Columbia	
a.m. |   Arrive. Leave.
a.m. p mip.m. p.m. p.m.
0 25 12 20 3 4 35 6 30
10 1312 0 1 51 4 23. 6 19
10 10 12 05! 1 48 4 10 6 16
10 01 12 00 1 »2 4 14| 6 10
..TT....I i m...7l\ e os
...I I 1 »'  5 53
...i 12 35' I 5 20
...| 12 35!  3 45
ni. p.m.pm,'p.in p.m.
4 56
4 52
i 46
437
3 50
350
P m.
a.m.
9 32
9 17
9 14
p.m.
235
223
2 20
SOO
8 44
8 SO
8 05
....
am.
p.m. _[
Nortb and South-bound trains connect at Lebanon with trains on Philadelphia 9 Heading
Kailroad to and from Harrisburg, Reading, Pottsville, Philadelphia and New 1 oik.
South-bound trains connect at Manheim with tra'ns on the Reading & Columbia Railroad
for points between Beading and Columbia.
Philadelphia 9 Reading Railroad Company mileage books -viil be accepted on the Cornwall
Bailroad.
FINS X3ISPLAT OF
Stationery Goods!
t.
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t-m
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CC
ae
U
©
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©
EMBRACING a large and varied asssortmenl of Books,  Bibles,
Testaments, Hymn Books, Books ia board, oloth and fine bindings, for all agea; from Toy Books with oolored illustrations for
the little ones, to board covers—books for youth and miss, of to
standard works for adults.
FANOY GOODS.
In Leather, Plush and Persian Silver Cases such aa Albums, Work
Boxes, Toilet Cases, Shaving Seta, Writing Desks, Cigar Cases,
Manicure Sets, lak Stands, Paper Weights, Calendars, Card Cases,
Lap Tablets, Pocket Books, Wall Pockets, Cards, Portfolios, Picture
Frames, Dressing Cases, &c, &c.
SOLD PENS and HOLDERS.
Stylographic and Fountain Pens and Pencils in Oold, Silver, Rob.
ber and Celluloid Cases.
P0CKE1 BOOKS and PURSES.
A large and varied assortment.
to
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cr
*—*
Q_
cr
3B
it*
©
©
CALL
No advance in Prices.    Holiday Goods sold at as Low
Prices as others.
Dec. 10, '90— 3m
COftT
COST
OUR preparations for the Holiday Trade are on a
Larger and Grander Scale than ever before.
Now that the cold weather has actually set in
ladies will see the necessity of an immediate purchase of
a WEAP or COAT of some kind. We have bought
the^entire stock of a large Cloak Manufacturer at prices
which enable us to place them within the reach ot all.
THE HEAVY STOCK
Of Coats and Cloaks we carry makes us Headquarters for
these goods, bnt as we prepared for a very cold winter,
and it is here, we are prepared to famish yon with &
Good, Warm and Stylish Garment at a Very Low Figure.
DRESS   GOODS   DEPARTMENT.
This   department never was so fall of  Choice   Goods
  Suitable for
^H0LIDAT=PRESENTS^
C. SHENK,
Lebanon's Leading Clothier,
816 Cumberland St.,        LEBANON, PA
S. SEIBERT, President.
fl. EBBfiOBM, Manager
THE LEBANON
[fi COMPANY.
The Leoanon Brewing Company is prepared to iurnish their excellent
W1ENER-MAEBTZEN, EXPORT
-AND-
Salvator Lager Beer
IN ANY QUANTITY DESIRED.
[BOTTLED   BEER.J
Orders for our Bottled Beer left at the Brewery, or with J. F. fiuia
the prominent bottler, at the Exchange Hotel, Ind. Dist., will be filled. .
Our Wiener Beer, which is bottled, is especially recommended for
LADIES NURSING CHILDREN by the most prominent physicians
in the City.   i«=* TELEPHONE CONNECTION.   Apply to
LEBANON BREWING CO.,
Dec. 3, 1887. Independent District. Lebanon. P/.
KAUFFMAN'S
Summer pilinery!
Our Stock is as fall and fresh as at any time during the sea
son.     We are buying Hats and making Hats
every day.   We offer
Special Bargains This Week:
Choice Straw Hats at 19,15,19, 93, 25 and 50 cents each.
Ladies' Fine Hats at 95, 75 and 98 cents; worth $1.00 to $1.75.
FLOWERS atione-half the former price.
Ribbons, Nets and Laces very cheap.
TRIMMED HATS and BONNETS.
Fine Hats, 95 .eents; worth $2.00.
50 HATS, Finely Trimmed, at $1.50; worth  $3.00—SO
100 Trimmed Hats at |2.00, $2.50 and $3.00; less than half price.
KAUFFMAN'S
AprU 1, '..Li
81$ Cumberland Street.
LEBANON. PA.
IT PAYS
To be cautious in the choice of medicines. Many are injured hy trying experiments with compounds purporting
to be blood-purifiers, the principal
recommendation of which wonld seem
to be 'their "cheapness." Being made
up of worthless, thongh not always
harmless, ingredients, they may well
he "cheap;" hat, in the end, they are
dear. The most reliable medicines are
costly, and can be retailed at moderate prices, only when the manufacturing chemist handles the raw materials
in large quantities. It is economy,
therefore,
To Use
Ayer's Sarsaparilla, the valuable components
of wliich are imported, wholesale, by the
S. C. Ayer Co. from tl 1 e legions where these
articles are richest in medicinal properties.
"It is a wonder to me that any other
than Ayer's Sarsaparilla has a show in Uie
market. If people consulted their own interest, they wonld never use any other; for
i t is not only the best, hot; en account of tta
concentrated strength and purity, it is the
most economical." — James F. Duffy, Drag-
gist, Washington st., Providence, It. I.
Dr. A. L. Almond, Druggist, Liberty, Va.,
writes: "Leading physicians in this city
prescribe
Ayer's
Sarsaparilla. I have sold It for eighteen
years, and have the highest regard for its
healing qualities."
"Although the formula is known to the
trade, there can be no successful imitation
of Ayer's Sarsaparilla. Withoat having the
enormous facilities of the J. C. Ayer Co., it is
impossible for other parties to put together
such valuable ingredients, at the low cost
of Ayer's
Sarsaparilla
It stands at the head of all similar preparations."—Mark A. Jones, 60 years a druggist,
60 Cambridge St., E. Cambridge, Mass.
-PKEPARED BT •
Dr. J. C. AYER & CO., Lowell, Mass.
Sold by all Druggists.    Price $1; six bottle»,$5.
JOHNSON'S
-WlODYHi
LINIMENT
^ * for WTE-JTA- ud EXTEBHAl nse,
■Ofy
&
^GENERATION AFTER GENERATION^
O/***»__ HAVE USED ASD BLESSED IT.   ,!«/
_Droppe& on Sugar. Children "Love It.
Every Traveler should have a bottle of It ln his satchel.
E\JO f \l f*\liff£L\ i--av F*om Rheumatism, Sci-
YOry OUIierer atiaja, «en_-algia, Nervous Headache, Diphtheria, Coughs, Catarrh, Bronchitis,
Asthma, Cholera Morbus, Diarrhoea, Lameness. Soreness
in Body or Limbs, Stiff Joints cr Strains, will And in
this old Anodyne relief and speedy core. Pamphlet
free. Sold everywhere. Price 35 cts., by mail, -5 bottle*
Express paid, $3.   I. S. JOHNSON & CO., Boston, 1Lu»
Septy-Bem.
I CURE
FITS!
When I say Curb I tte net mean merely to
Itop them for a time, and then have them re*
!urn again.   I lOUH A RADICAL .CURE.
\I have made the disease of
FITS, EPILEPSY or    i-i
FALLING SICKNESS,
m life-long study. X wabsakt my remedy to
Cuna the went oases. Because others hare
tailed Is no reason for not now receivings care.
SendatonceforatreatiBeandaFKiEBoTTLsT
Df my INFALLIBLE Kesiedt. Give Expreel
and Post -Office. It eoets yoa nothing for a
trial, ami it will cure yon. Address
H.O. ROOT, M.C., 183 Pea»-St..Ne_ York
J une 4,189
scon'
EMULSION
DOES CURE
CONSUMPTION
In Its First Stages.
Be ture you get the genuine.
WV*»»Ji^^
Humphreys'
Db. Humphreys' Specifics are scientifically and
carefully prepared prescriptions ; used for many
years in private practice with success.and for over
thirty years used by the people. Every single .Specific Is a special care for the disease named.
These Specifics cure without drugging, purging or reducing the system, and are lu fact and
deed the sovereign remedies oft he World.
UST OP PRINCIPAL NOS. CURES. rEICES.
1 Fevers* Congestion, inflammation...   *j§M
2 Worms* Worm Fever, Worm Colic*.   .55
3 Cry ine Colic, orTeething of Infants   .'55
4 Diarrhea, or Children or Adults 25
_W -Wy sent err» Griping, Bilious Colic...   .25
6 Cholera Morbus, Vomiting 25
7 Coughs* Cold, Bronchitis 25
8 Nc .ralgia* Toothache, Faceache—   .25
9 Headaches* Sick Headache, Vertigo   .25
10 Dyspepsia, Bilious Stomach 25
11 Suppressed or Painful Periods. .25
12 Whitest too Profuse Periods  .23
13 Croup, Cough, Difficult Breathing.... .25
14 Salt Rheum* Erysipelas,Eruptions. .25
15 Rheumatism* Rheumatic Pains.... ,25
16 Fever and A gue, Chills, Malaria.... .50
17 Piles, Blind or Bleeding  .50
19 Catarrh, Influenza, Cold in the Head   .50
20 Whoopiug Oough, Violent Coughs.   .50
*J4 Ueneral Debility,PnysicalWeakneas   .50
it Kidney Disease _•_?_?
58 Nervous Debility    1.00
30 Urinary Weakness, Wetting Bed.   .50
3*2 Diseases of theIIeart,Palpitation 1.00
Sold by Druggists, or .sent postpaid on receipt
of price. DeThumpheeys' Manual, Q44 pages)
rlcnly bound la doth and gold, mailed  free.
HUMPHREYS' MEDIOINE GO-     .
Oor. William and John Streets, Mew York.
SPEOIFI CS.
THE   LAND   OF   LONG   AGO.
RUPTURE.
We,  the  undersigned,
are  entirely cart.*, of
Rupture bjr It   J.  B.
MaYEK, 831 Arch St., PMi-j_
Thorn s B. Hartung, Xew Rintagold, Pa., I
Sandt, South Easton. Pa., L. P. * <J. A. De*
tmck, Oley. Pa., K. a. Stanley, 424 Spr u e St.,
Lebanon, Pa., A. Schneider, Locust Dale, Pa..
D. B. Moll, Limekiln, Fa., W.i.. B Harten-
stine 1'hoenixviile, Pa.. W. M. Leinbach. Hit
Washington St., Beading, Pa., J. _. ■ yme,
1310 Howard BC, HarrisDurg. Pa., 0. Keehn.
Douglassvi'ie, Pa. Dr. MAV Ell is at Hotel
Penn, Reading. Pa., on the 2nd Saturday of
each month. Cell to see htm.
WEAK MEN
Suffering from the effect! of youthful errors, etrly
decay, wasting weakness, lost manhood, etc., I will
send a valuable treatise (sealed) containing full
particulars tat home cure, F REE of charge. _
splendid medical work; should De read by every
man who Is nervous and debilitated,. Address,
fwot,._f._l_rWO'mm^a,nooaoa,tom_u
4pri»    9, '91-ly
It was Home! that land where our mother*!
hand
Her little ones' curls caressed;
There we smiled and wept, and a* sweetly
slept
As baby birds ln their neat.
Now a sigh ascends for tht dear old frienda
We can never hope to know
Any hearts so kind as those left behind
In the Land of Long Agol iai* i:
Then what bright romanoe was that lint glad
glance
Into Love's enchanting book;
And what thrilling bliss, when the first fond
kiss
From our darling's lips we took.
We may woo and wed; bnt UU life hath fled    ,
We shall yearn and sigh also.
For the angel fair whom we worshiped there.
In the Land of Long Ago.
Though oor dreams are gone, yet we still plod
on
A-weary with pilgrimage;
Let ns do the right, and with evil light,
■till we reach life's resting stage.
Then shall friends who win* o'er oor dreamless sleep
In the churchyard lay na low;
When the night la o'er we may wake onoe
more
In the Land of Long Ago.
—George Hill in Sunday Magazine.
PLOTTING F011 A iVUTUNE.
Miss Augeliue Dufour was making up
her mind that it was of no use to keep on
teaching.
In this nineteenth century women go
forth into the world to seek their fortunes
as well as men. Miss Dufour was eminently dissatisfied with her position ia
life.   Therefore she meant to better it.
"I hate teaching,1* ahe said. " I hate
work of any sort. If I could come across
a husband who would be able to keep me
in comfortable style I should get rid of
all this tedious labor and drudging. I
was never intended to waste the bloom of
my youth in hearing horrid little boys
spell, and hammering the rale of three
into the heads of stupid girls!"
And Miss Dufour's looking glass, reflecting back h-jr sparkling blue eyes,
wavy In-own locks, and complexion of
mingled rose and pearl, told much tbe
same story.
But a girl who teaches school six hours
a day and lives in a dull boarding house
oa the shady side of a dull street during
the rest of her tune, is not apt to form a
very large circle in social life; aad so,
when vacation time came, Angeline was
Tery willing to accept the: invitation of
Juliet Mills, the young cashier of a Third
avenue restaurant, and accompany her to
ber home among the Berkshire Hills.
"Of course," said Miss Mills, "it's not
an elegant place. You won't expect that.
We are working people out there. But
you'll have plenty to eat, gallons of new
milk to drink, fresh country air to
breathe, and a warm welcome, I can
guarantee that."
"Is there any society out there?" said
Angeline anxiously.
"Do you meaa young men?" counter-
questioned Juliet. "Well, not much.
There's my brother Andrew—and Douglas Steele, who runs the machinery in
the kid glove factory—and the young*
minister who has consumption, aad—
and—well, I really can't think ot aay
one else just now."
Angeline laughed.
"Oh, well," said she, "I date say I
shall enjoy it. I certainly shall if yon
are there with me, you darling Juliet,"
The Berkshire Farm was a quiet, maple
shaded old place. Mrs. Mills waa a
motherly dame, and brother Andrew was
a tall, brown complexioned young fellow
with teeth -like a- freshly cut dice of
cocoanut and eyes that sparkled roguishly
under their long lashes.
"He'll do, "said Miss Dufour to herself,
after she had spent 24 hours under this
hospitable roof. "He'll have tbis nice
farm some day—dad it seems he owns a
half share in the big silex mill down ia
the woods. His manners haven't the
regular city polish" (and her thoughts
reverted with regret to a certain natty
little clerk ia a Third avenue drug stan.
who wore his hair parted in the middle
and smelled of cheap cologne) "but he
seems very intelligent and agreeable.
And anything is better than that school
teaching drudgery!" Bat when she
hinted something of this to Juliet, Juliet
shook her head.
"It's of no use," said she. "Myra
Grover has got a first mortgage on him,
I'm afraid."
"A what?" said Miss Dufour.
"Afiist mortgage,"said Juliet. "Don't
y/u understand? He's spoons on Myra.
I don't suppose they're exactly engaged,
but it amounts to almost the same thing.
I'm sorry," she added frankly, *jtut
Myra's a simpering, insipid little thing,
and you would have suited ms a deal
better for a sister in law."
"But dont yon think—"began Aa*
geline, and then she laughed and colored
and relapsed into silence.
"Tes, I do think," said Juliet, comprehending in an instant. "And perhaps it
eaa be done. At all events, dear, we'll
try."
. little did Myra Grover, shelling peas
for her old father's dinner under the
honeysuckle twined porch of her home,
imagine what baleful compact tree at
that moment being formed against her
peace of mind. She sung cheerily at her
work, and thought of Andrew Mills, and
the future, and all the rose colored
dreams that come so naturally to a girl
of 18.
"I must go down," she thought," to call
upon the New York young lady who haa
come back with Juliet. It wouldn't be
polite to neglect her. Andrew laughs at
her—he calls her artificial and affected.
But he thinks her pretty—of that I am
very certain. And they tell me she gets
$600 a year for teaching school. Oh,
dear, I wish I had any way of earning (600 a year! My poor little trade
brings me so small a sum."
In the meantime Angeline and Juliet
set themselves steadily to besiege the
fortress of Andrew Mills's honest heart-
but without perceptible progress at first.
"I don't see how yoa can help losing
your heart to her, Andrew," said Juliet reproachfully.   " Isn't she pretty ?*
"Yes, v-ary," admitted the young
farmer.
"And agreeablef
"Undoubtedly she is."
"A thousand times more attractive
than Myra Grover V
"There may be a difference of opinion
as to that!" laughed Andrew. "Myra is
a little wild snow drop. Miss Dufour is
a gaudy tulip."
Juliet colored and bit her lip.
"Oh," she cried, "how easily you men
are imposed upon.   Your Myra——"
"Stop a minute, Juliet. She isn't my
Myra yet"    .
"I'm only speaking generally," impatiently uttered Miss Mills. "Myra Grover, then, if it pleases you better. She's
not so unsophisticated as you think.
She's as much 'made ap' aa any
woman."
"YoaTl not make me believe that very
easily," said Andrew composedly.
"I suppose you'll credit the evidence of
your own eyesight?" retorted his sister.
"Nothing short of that," was the dry
response.
"What would yoa say if I told you all
that lovely light brown curling hair of
hers was false ?" half whispered Juliet.
He started t. Uttle.
"Yoa sre my sister, Juliet," said he.
"You are also a woman. I can not give
you the lie, as I would a man. But,
nevertheless, I believe your statement to
be untrue."
"In other words, she has been all this
time deceiving youl" triumphantly cried
Juliet.
Andrew rose jip a@_| Song gqjg titf
newspaper he had been reading.
"Suppose we leave off discussing this
topic," said he.
Juliet only smiled. She had sown the
seed. She was willing now that it
should germinate at its leisure.
ft was toward evening the next day
that Angeline and Juliet strolled down
through the woods to meet Andrew returning from his work, and accompanied
him back to the hazel copse at the rear
of the Grover farmhouse.
"There!" Juliet suddenly cried out,
just when Angeline and her brother were
talking and laughing in their merriest
mood, "what do you call that?"
From the picket fence where Myra
Grover's white hollyhocks grew, and the
currant bushes blushed red with fringes
of fruit, a slender cord was stretched—
aud on this cord was pinned a switch of
floating brown hair, like an Indian's
scalp trophy, while several long, fair
curls swinging to and fro in the wind
kept it company.
Angeline stopped.
"B's false hair, isn't it?" said she.
"The girl of the house has been washing
it, and has hung it there to dry. I don't
suppose she thought that anybody would
be passing this way! Almost every one
wears false hair nowadays," and sh«
gave her own luxurient tresses a shake
to -prove their genuineness, while her
brilliant eyes flashed back an answering
gleam to the look that Juliet gave her.
"And I knew at the first glance that that
Grover girl's curls were not her own."
"Are we waiting here for anything in
particular?" Andrew Mills asked curtly,
and they hurried on. But both Juliet
and Angeline were satisfied.
"I think he's safe now, dear," said
Miss Mills. "Yoa have only to be as
sweet and encouraging as possible, and
he's sure to capitulate. He attaches so
much importance to perfect truth and
candor. That false hair business has accomplished a deal for us. But I wish
he'd be a little expeditious about it," she
added, with a smile, "far I've got to go
back to my cashier's desk the day after
to-morrow, and I should like to leave you
with the engagement ring oa your finger,
Angy."
"It will be all right," said Angeline
serenely.   "You'll see, lovel"
Poor Andrew, however, was in a less
jubilant frame of mind. He was sitting
alone on the back porch under the shade
of a monster gnarled apple tree, pondering. If Myra—innocent, dove eyed little
Myra—were false, upon whom could he
depend? It was, in itself, a trivial offense, tfae wearing of other women's hair,
but it destroyed his faith in Myra's honor
and honesty. Poor Andrew! he was very
wretched.
A light step on the mossed over garden
path aroused him from his unpleasant
reverie.   It was Myra's voice.
"Andrew," she hesitated, "shall I be
disturbing yoa? I—I wanted to consult
you a little. I've got some money to invest, fifty dollars, Andrew. And I do
not know what bank or deposit company
I had better place it in."
He rose up mechanically.
"fifty dollars, Myra?" said he, trying
to speak, lightly. "Where did you get
$50 ?'"
"I have earned it all myself," said
Myra, flushing with artless pride. "I
liave been working for a hair dresser at
La Salle. He has sent me a lot of goods
to pick over and reweave. It is tedious
business, but he has paid me well, because, he says, I do it so nicely. Oh,
you would laugh, Andrew," the added
gaily, "if yoa could see our sitting room
sometimes. Father says it's just like an
Indian wigwam filled with scalps. And
Juliet and Miss Dufour made all manner
of fun of me when they came in yesterday morning and saw what I was doing."
Involuntarily Andrew Mills stepped
forward and took both Myra's hands in
his owa.
"Do you mean," said he, "that they
know?"   .
"Of course," acquiesced Myra. "Why
shouldn't they?"
"Dear Myra," he said, "I am glad that
you came to me to-night."
"Why ?" she asked. "Do you know of
a good investment, Andrew ?"
"lam not thinking of investments,"
he said, half smiling. "Yes, I am, too.
I want to make a life investment of myself."
He walked home through the dew and
the starlight with Myra Grover—and
when he left her father's door they were
engaged.
"You and yonr friend Miss Dufour
have deceived me," he said sternly to
Juliet when he arrived at home; " grossly deceived me. But your machinations
have failed. This day month I shall
bring Myra Grover here as my wife..
Yoa, Juliet, are my sister. I cau not
very well close my doors against you.
But Miss Dufour must never again calculate on my hospitality."
And the baffled Angeline went back
once more to the teacher's desk. Myra
Grover's innocence aud candor bad prevailed against all her crilt.
LKTTIE'S   LOVE   CHABM.
Adnlt Capacity for Work.
"Opinions differ," a writer goes on to
say, "as to the limit of daily ine--tal work
ia adults. Dr. Bain, of Abci-dca-n, says
that in that eity there are as hard heads
and as hard workers as in any otlier part
of Great Britain, but that foor laours'
steady mental labor are aa much as is
good fag them. Ou vier was usually engaged for seven hours daily in his scientific researches, bat- they were not of a
nature to require continuous thought.
Walter Scott declared that he worked
for three hours with pleasure, but beyond
about tbar hours he worked with pain.
Dr. Dally, of Paris, says that a maa 30
years old eaa, aot do intellectual work
with profit beyond eight hours daily.
Beyond this limit there will be fatigue,
cerebral aneemia, or congestion, disgust
and impossibility to work. Generally ic
is necessary to limit the time to six hours
or even less.
Heatheta Rites.
The corner of Jackson and Dupont
streets witnessed aa heathenish a scene
yesterday morning as any four corners in
Chinatown ever presented.
lft was about 10.30 o'clock and the narrow thoroughfare was crowded, but the
crowd made no difference to the Mongols
who gathered there to perform their
heathenish rites. First a bonfire wa3
built in the middle of the street, then a
big golden idol fully three feet tall waa
carried out and placed in the center of
the flames. Twenty-four bowls of rice
were laid out in a circle about the flre;
fix bowls of fat came next and then four
roasted chickens.
A crowd of Chinese gathered with uncovered heads. First one salaamed to
the idol, then another, then another. A
torn torn was sounded until those in the
distance thought a boiler factory had
started up near by.
The big idol grinned and grinned and
grinned, and did nothing but grin, albeit
the flames were fast consuming his godly
person. And as the idol grinned tha
heathen worshippers grinned, until it became a grinning match all around.
"Him bad luckee," said Tin Chum,
who was asked to explain the queer performances. It seems that the family of
Bod Ding Lee were consuming an old
patron idol of the family because he
brought ill fortune on tlie hous<>. Last
week Bod Chee waa locked up as a va*
grant and on Wednesday Bod Long fell
ill and died. So on Friday the patron
idol wn burned alive.—San Francisco
"Why, Lettie Vincent, you don't mean
to say that yoa have beeu quarrelling
with Bertie—and only six mouths married?" saU Mrs. Austin, reprovingly, to
her niece, who had run ia for a moment
to see l.er.
"Well, il wasn't exactly a quarrel,"
half sobbed Lettie. "Bot if be finds
fault with me, I have to answer him
back a little sharp, aad tben he goes
away angry."
"I always had a charm against these
little storms when I was married; 1 inherited it from my mother, and I think
I shall give it to you."   '
As she spoke she unclasped a necklace from her throat, made of twenty
lustrous amber beads. "I didu't wear
them wbeu I was first married," said
Mrs. Austin, but carried them around
in my pocket So must yoa Now,
when your husband speaks sa sharply
to you and yoa feel like snapping back,
just count three of theso beads ou your
fingers. There is something mystic
about amber, and wlien you bave
counted three beads yoa*can say what
you please." Lettie laughed a littie
angrily.
"You are making fun of me, aunty,"
she said
"Hb, Tin not," she said gravejy, "I
don't expect you to believe il, but I do
ask you to give it a fair trial"
"But it seems so ridiculous."
" Plenty of good things seein ridiculous
at first; but I kaow that if you won't
attar a syallable after yoa have been
vexed by Bertie until you say one, two,
three—ono for faith, two for hope, and
three for charity—then, mark my word,
ebild, joa will find the amber charm
will work:"
"Well," Lettie said, taking the beads
and glancing at them a little supers i-
tiously, "I'll try them, bat I'm certain
they won't do any good."
"And I am certain ihey will," said the
old lady cheerfully.
When Lettie went home that night, in
the solitary summer twilight, Bertie
Vincent was before her, impatiently
pacing the floor.
"Well,"besaid sharply, "Idon't know
tbat I particularly admire to come home
and find the house deserted. Why
couldn't yon have told me you were
going away?"
"Because I'm not a three year old
baby, to have to ask leave every time I
go out    Tbat is the reason wby."
These words were the answer that rose
hotly to Lettie's lips, but she suddenly
remembered tlie amber charm, and
slipped her band down into ber pocket
and delil erately counted three of tta
glittering globes; and by the time she
had finished the "one for faith, two far
hope, and three for charity," a little of
the dreariness of the unlighted apartment struck into her own heart, and she
realized that it was a cheerless place for
Bertie to come home ta
"1 didn't mean to stay so late," she
•aid cheerily. "But I did want to go
and see aunty so bad, and perhaps I
sbould have told you tliat I thought of
spending the day at the farm. I'll light
the gas in a minute, dear."
Bertie's frown faded away.
"Well, suppose we both go
Sunday, Lettie? I dec'are
wonder you want to go, for tt
ferably stupid for yon here all
aloue, with tbe.canary and kitten for
company. Now sit dowu aad let me
read tbe paper to you until you get
rested."
Aud an almost superstitious thrill
passed through Letlio's heart as she
real ized the success of tlie amber charm.
The next morning, Mr. Vincent, dressing in a hurry, found a button off his
shirt.
"If there isn't another button gone,"
he exclaimed angrily dashing tbe shirt
to the floor. "It does seem to me yoa
might be a little more careful about
such things, Lettie."
A sharp retort trembled oa Letlie's
tongue, but Uke lightning the amber
charm flashed across her memory, and
die faith, hope, aad charity trio were
called to her relief.
" I will look them over this morning,
Bertie. You shall find every button
right after this."
As she spoke she laid oat another
shirt, not buttonless, and be laughed
happily.
"I shouldn't have spoken so quickly,
said he, "but you know what a button
off a mau's shirt is to his temper."
When he had gone to the office, leaving an affectionate good by on Lettie's
pre Ity face, she drew oat ber amber
charm and divided Bertie's kiss with it
"You darling old tbing," she said
alou.1. "Bertie does love me, and thanks
to you, my blessed trio, I am learning
to control this pettish, wayward tongue
of mine a little."
Autumn leaves were falling when she
went down to tlie old farmhouse agaiu.
"Well, dear," said Mra Austin, "aud
how does the .*• pell work?"
"Oh, aunty," she eried, "I am ao
happy! I am so thankful to you! And
if I can only keep   those   precious old
beads forever "
"Of course, my dear, of course; keep
'em as long as yoa want 'era. Only as
far as their being a charm is concerned——"
"You needn't tell me, auntie, about
that," And Lettie laughed and colored.
"I know it ia not the three beads so
much as tbe stopping to think. But
who would suppose that little way of
stopping to count would tte actual discipline for ourselves! I know I was always quick and irritable, but, auntie, I
am learning to control my temper. And
if I live 100 years, I feel that I must
have my 'faith, hope, aad charity'
charm."
"And so yoa shall, dear," said Mrs.
Austin, as she took off her glasses and
wiped away the mist of tears that had
gathered on them.
"Because," Lottie replied, "tbey have
no doubt been to me a precious charm."
down on
I doa't
is insuf-
day long
-WOMEN   NIHILISTS   OF   RUSSIA.
An automatic life saving belt has been
tried ia tbe Thames. It can be screwed
up lika a ball and fired from a cannon
or thrown by hand, the belt righting
itself by contact with the water.
Took Her Cav a Dummy.
Mr. Jones came home the other night
and hung his overcoat and hat oa what
he supposed waa the dummy which his
his wife keeps to try dresses on.
"Handy arrangement this, Maria," ha
said pleasantly, "answers for both of us."
"Fd like to answer for myself just now
if you'll take your hat off," responded
the dummy in a muffled voice, and thea
Mr. Joues unearthed his wife's aunt, who
had come to pay them a visit. He expects to lose $50,000 on that transaction.
Qfxtfuiele
Potter Dial.
Miss McFadd—Palmistry is all the rage
now. Do yon understand it, Mrs. Potter?
Mrs. Potter.-—Ko; bat Jack does. Last
night I heard him cry in his sleep: "Show
your hands, boys!"
I'ltUI-lli PILE*.
Symptoms — Moisture ; intense itching
and stinging; most at night; worse by
scratching. Hallowed to continue tumors
form, which often bleed and ulcerate, becoming very sore. Swathe's Ointment
stops tbe itching and bleeding, heals ulcer
ation, and in many cases removes the tumor. It is equally eSacious in coring all
Skin Diseases. DR. SWAYNE & SON,
Proprietors, Philadelphia. Swayne's
Ointment can be obtained of druggists.
£eat by mail for 60 oenta.
They Are the Host Determined Encmiei
of tbe Cur.
In Russia women have become the
most daring enemies of despotism. They
invariably belong to the most intelligent
and cultivated classes. Letters and photographs secretly received from Switzerland throw considerable Ught on the lives
of those at present in exile and those who
have escaped to other lands.
Russia would have the rest of the
world believe that Nihilism has become
extinct throughout the empire, says the
Chicago Times. What the organs of the
government voice and what the actions
of the people prove are two facts difficult
to reconcile. So strong has the movement now grown that high born dames
do not hesitate to descend from their
lofty estate to assist the peasant mother
in the care or her little home, and at the
same time instill into her dulled intellect
something of the same spirit which inspired her noble sacrifice in freedom's
cause.
. Of this class was the nobly born and
highly gifted Alexandra Khorjevskaya,
who did such good work for tbe cause in
the province of Kieff. Her great beauty
and genial manners won all hearts to
her, and she was enabled to carry on her
work unsuspected for several years. She
even penetrated into the police sanctums
cf the cities she visited, and by this
means she obtained much valuable information, and many times saved her coworkers from arrest and imprisonment.
The government, at last becoming convinced ti;at some unseen power was at
work throughout Kieff, set their spies to
track the propagandist, and they succeeded in entrapping Alexandra Khorjevskaya, who was arrested and thrown
into a foul dungeon, where she lay for
many months.
Without any form of trial whatever
she was exiled to Siberia with hard labor
for 15 yeara. Another noted woman who
stands high in the ranks of the nihilists
is Eugenia Subotina, who fearlessly acted
the part of the spy in tbe interests of her
party, and finally succeeded in securing
from a leading official all the immediate
plans of General Ignatieff for the overthrow of nihilism. There were two
Subotina sisters, Eugenia and Maria.
Both were instrumental in distributing
incendiary literature throughout St.
Petersburg and Moscow, and both were
sent to Siberia. They belong to one of
the oldest Russian families, and were
noted for their beauty and intelligence.
The schools and colleges ia Russia are
unlike those of other countries, in that
they are veritable hotbeds of intrigue.
One reason of this is that the rules governing these institutions are of the most arbitrary description, and youth naturally
rebels against the hand of oppression. A
number of students conversing together
is sufficient to arouse suspicion, and they
are quickly made to disperse. This system of repression naturally engenders a
feeling of secrecy, which, allied to mystery, appeals only too forcibly to the
student mind, and while meetings ate
arranged under the very eyes of the professors, they are usually held outside, at
the homes of the sympathizers. The enthusiasm of the youthful nihilists knows
no bounds, and their inexperience is frequently the means of landing them in
prisons and fortresses, which stand ever
ready to receive them. That nihilism is
not dead in Russia a retrospect of tbe last
two years will plainly show, fear during
that time the wholesale arrest of students
has many times occurred.
F.legtUo but Strong, This Land.
"When foreigners impugn the elasticity and strength of our institutions,"
said Robert IX Layton to me yesterday,
" I am fond of quoting to them a bit of
my own experience. In the spring of
1865 I was present when General Johnston surrendered to Sherman. The regiment I served in, tiie Thirteenth Pennsylvania Cavalry, formed a part of General Sherman's escort. One of the surprises of that day to us troopers was the
appearance of General Wheeler, the famous Confederate cavalry leader. He
liad been raising Cain with us for
months, and this and his raids in former
campaigns had made us think of him
as being of fearful proportions. We expected to find a giant, and when a little
man of spare frame was pointed out to
us as the terrible General Wheeler wo
were rather disgusted.
"WeU, almost 30 years later, in the
winter of 1881, I guess it was, I happened
to be in the visitor's gallery of the II. mse
of Representatives at Washington. Ralph
Beaumont, the labor leader, was with
me, and I asked him who the little man
wa.s who was then addressing the House
on tlie tariff from the Democratic side,
■Yoa ought to know him,' said Beaumont.
"He used to make it warm for you once;
he's General Wheeler.' And for the second time I was surprised to see the little
man from Alabama. The first time I
met him he had just given up an attempt
to smack the United States Government,
and here 16 years later he was making
laws for the United States. The country
that can furnish such proofs of its elastic:
liberty, strength, and fraternal generosity
as this has nothing to fear from within. *
—Pittsburg Dispatch.
The Chair of IalrU.
On the very summit of Cader-Idris, a
mountain peak in Merionethshire,Wales,
is an excavation in the solid rock, resembling a couch. It is said to be the chait
of Idris the giant, after whom the mount*
ain was named. Tradition says thai
whoever rests for a night in this seat will
be found the next miming either dead
or a raving maniac, or endowed with supernatural powers. This excavation a
probably the "Chair of Idris," to which
Tennyson refers in ■'Enid," where Ga
raint says:
"He felt, were she the prize of bodily force.
Himself beyond the rest pushing could move
The chair of Idris,"
as it is situated in what is supposed tc
have been King Arthur's territory, and
Geraint was knight of his court.
The Chignecto ship railway will not N
completed as soon as was expected. Tlu
company has asked the Canadian parli.-v
ment for an extension of tlie time until
July 1,1893.
ISSUED KVERY WED-XESDAT Si
W. J. BURNSIDE,
Sl It. Nintb. street,      •      Lebanon, In.
TEEMS OP SUBSCRIPTIOy •
ONE YEAR.        -        -        SI.50
IN VARIABLY OT AUVANfK.
ST The above rate includes payment
of postage by us. Subscriptions can
commence anv time duriug i be year
Bill Snort's Letter.
BY ALEX. E. 8WBET.
Began too Soon.
"What's tbe matter, oil man?''he said
on the morn ins* after.    "You  look blue."
"I feel blue."
"But test nigbt you were the jolliest
member ef the partis,"
* I felt jolly.*
"You acted like a boy just let out of
school."
-I felt like one."
"You said your wife bad gore away for
the fiist tim. in tbree years, and there
•wasn't any one to say a woid if you weak
bome snd kicked over the mantel clock."
•1 remember it."
'•You i-aid that if you stayed out. aatil
fonr o'clock there « as no one to look at
you reproachfully snd sigh and make you
feel mean."
"Yes, and I stayed rut umil I. nr o'clock,
didn't I?"
"You ceitainly did."
"And I gave an Indian wa-r whoop on
tbe doorstep."
"Yes, and you sang a verse from a comic
opera song and you tried to dance a clog."
"And my wife had n.isa-ed ihe traia."
Miles' Nerve and l.lver Plll-a
Act on a new principal—regulating tbe
liver, stomach and bowels thiough tht
ner-cet. A new discovery. Dr. Miles'
PQla speedily cnre biliousness, bad taste,
torpid timet, piles, constipation. Un.
equaled for men, women, children. Small.
est, mildest, surest. 60 doses, 25 cents
' Samples Free, at Pr  Qeo. Rofs & Co
Syndicate Cottage by the Sea,
July 87, 1891.
To Major Dan Mc Gary, Houston, Tt%.:
My Dear Major :—Hurrah I Gloria in
exoelsis I Yiva! Viva I Erin go bragh !
Vox populi Nux vomica ! Ach Da lieber
Augustin ! Pound the bewgag, and sound
the loud timbrel! Caramba I K pluribus
Unum I Eureka ! Eureka ! Ave Maria!
Sio Semper Tyiancis ! Nun dAnket Alle
Gott ! Let us sing a Te Deo as Lau-
damus with variations I Vive le Koi I Ua
ira I Ca ira ! John Brown's soul is marching on.   Glory I Glory t Hallelujerum.
Yes, I am excited, aad no wonder.
There was no boodle in sight, but me and
Raum bave struck it rich. Harrison was
in despair. He said, "Wbat shall ve do
to be saved, Col. Snort 1" Then my massive brain began to work. I concocted a
scheme. I rushed over so Pension Commissioner Raum, and now as soou as
tbe money Hows into the Treasury aa wilt
yank it oat to tbe tune of sixty millions
or more a year. The following headlines
from tbe New York Herald tell the whole
story in a nutshell:
RAUM WILL PASS PENSIONS
WITHOUT EXAMINATION.
Under His New  Programme Tbere Will
Be No Chance to  Detect  Fraudulent Claims.
RICH PICKINGS FOB SHARES.
Attorneys with Pulls Can Oet a Pension
Re-rated on Their Mere Request.
Don't monkey with yonr newspaper
business any more. Start a pension agen*
cy, and forward your claims as fast as you
can grind them oat. Yon have got tbe
pull. You press the buttoa tad I'll do
the rest. If you know of a man or a woman or a little child, wbo :s suffering from
exposure caused by he, sbe, or it, sitting
ia 9 draft and singing, "When this cruel
war is over," send in tto elaim. It will
be passed. Tto claimant will to allowed
ten thousand dollars back pay. eight thou*
sand of which goes to CoL Snort. You
and tbe disabled veteran may have tka
raat. As I have to divide with Raum and
Harrison my commisb is very reasonable.
I want a pension agent in every town ia
tbe United States, and tl me and Raum
don't feather oar nests I hope somebody
will shoot me in tbe back with a pack*
saddle. At last we have struck pay dirt.
When it comes to robbing the Treasury
mysteriously aad suddenly stamp-licker
Wanamaker ia not in it.
Our motto is tbat everybody must have
a pension as long as money flows into tba
Treasury. Tbe Pension Bureau will bave
more drawers tban any other bureau ia
tto world. The fellows who stayed at
home, veiled and hipped and hurrahed for
the old flag are to be recompensed, ll
was worth money to look after the helpless women and children. Tbe war cor*
respondents wbo did ail tbe hard lying
must be rewarded. The people must be
made to understand tbat the object of war
is not tbe attainment of peace, bat the attainment of pensions. Tbe pen is mightier
than tbe sword, bnt tbe pension beats tbem
both. If you know anybody whose wife
bit bim with a broomstick, send on hte
claim. I will have it re-rated and we will
buy fresh clothes, and have pie three times
a day for tbe rest of our natural lives. In
tbe language of Flannagan, of Texas,
"What else are we here iorf*
You know, Dan, I was a member of tbe
famous Texas Poker Legislature, hat I
must confess, honestly, that not even tben
did I see such chances to rob tbe people of
their money. And we are all so pious,
tea). Onoe more, all together: "lohn
Brown's body is a-marcbing oo. Glory 1
Hallelujerum I" Sixty more millions a
year 1
By the way, I took a little of tbe self
conceit out of Harrison yesterday, but be
still has a large stock on hand. He was
bragging about his "triumphal tour,"
"spontaneous enthusiasm," ete. He mentioned oue town la Texas where be received a tremendous ovation. It was at
Bungville, where my friend, Jim McSnif.
tar, is postmaster. Harrison attributed
McSnifter's enthusiasm to his, Harrison's,
personal magnetism. He remembered
tbat tbe colored people of Bungville were
remarkably demonstra ive.
"Hr. Pre8ident,"M remarked, **V*te got
a letter from tbat postmaster, and be
wants you to do him a little lavor."
"Certainly, Col. Snort, certainly."
I then took out tto tetter aud read as
follows : "My dear Colonel Snort—To accommodate you I got up a big hullabaloo
when Harrison was here, and now I am
ah oet in my accounts. As no respectable
white people could be induced to meet
Harrison at tto depot I had to hire a lot
of niggers, who denanded ha advauce a
quarter each extra if tbey were to shake
hands with the President. I had to pay
the casb.
''As I didn't bave any money of my owa
I opened a lot of registered letters to local
merchants and used tbe money to pay tbe
niggers aud otber legitimate expenses.
Some of the merchants wbo didn't get
their letters say I stole the money, and
have complained to Postmoster General
Wanamaker. I want you and tbe President to see Wanamaker at once. Neither
of them can afford to hare this mitter in-
vettigattd. Wanamaker knows what it is
to to publicly denounced as no better thau
a thiet. He is used to tbis sort of
'thing, and, like Quay and Dudley, don's
mind it, but I have got a reputation ta
sustain aad oannot stand tbe humiliation.
"Tell the President to make Wanamaker squelch the investigation against me,
as I can show tbat, like Wanamaker's
campaign fund, the money I took out of
the registered letters was put where It
would do Har. ison the most good. I owa
tbe musicians a balance of 125 that played
'Hail to tbe Chief at tbe depot, and I
thin, llariison ought to pay it hirrselt.
If tbere is any fuss about the registered
letters, I ean plead tbat I took the money
out ol tbe letters and burned the letters iu
obedience to a recent order from tbe Post
Office Department directing me to dispatch tbe mails.' That's how I dispatched
tbem.
"Sad legarda to Mrs. llariison aud
kiss Baby McKee for your friend,
"Jim McSnikter, P. IL,
Bungville, Texas."
I need not tell you bow gi ieved we are
at Wanamaker being caught. We canuot
flre bim out ef bis seat iu tbe Cabinet,
because he owns it by right of purchase.
He can remain in i tliqe but mast uot any
more attempt to explain hia explanations.
We oan't get rid of Wanny, and I look for
still more complications.
Let me tell you bow I eame to get on to
the idea of using Raum as a funnel to
draw tto money out of tbe Treasury aa
fast as it flows in. Harrison was telling
me bow slick be got a pension for bis sister in-law. Uariison told me tbat two
previous administrations had refused tbe
claim, because bis brother really died of
consumption eight years after the war.
I came very near saying tbat It was a pity
that Baby McKee was not old enough to
draw a Federal pensi m, or get a salary.
It also occurred to me that after all Raum
bas done for tbe President, tto latter, iu
common fairness, sbould insist on Raum's
ra-cally son being reinstated. It also oa-
out red to me tbat if we oould use Raum in
9 retail mauner to deplete tto Treasury,
why cot try tto wholesale plan. Tbe moie
I thought about lt tbe moie feasible the
scheme appeared.
It oan't be denied (hat Harrison la a
whole souled man when ll come tn pio-
vidmg for hia telstivea at Ihe pilbliu expense. Now lhat we have a new schema
for looting tbe Treasury there is oo reason
why anybody related by consarguinity or
affinity to any of na should not wear good
clothes an_ have pie three times a day.
My dear Dan, if yoa have any seedy
relatives wbo can't make a living honestly,
send me a list of tbeir names and 1 will ses
tbat tbey get tbeir gruel regular.
We are very much distrersed about Mr.
Blaine's health, bat at tto same time we
are working tbe "physical wreck" racket
for all it is worth.
In conclusion, my dear Major, start your
pension agency at once, and send iu tbe
claims.
Yours for reform,
BiM, SjiOBT.