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r * etownt liiti. VOL. 44.-NO. 81. LEBANON, LEBANOS COUNTY, PA., WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 1891. WHOLE SO—2103. ftatlroatis. CORNWALL ANU LEBANOH KAIL- ■MD. DIRECT ROUTE FOB ALL POINTS ON THK PENNSYLVANIA RAILliOAD. ArrniiK«inent of Psasenvei Trains. On and alter Thursday, November 19, 1891, passenger trains will run as follows: Leave— am am ait r m r_ pm Lebanon 6:25 10:1S Il:3» 2:00 3:15 7:10 Cornwall 6:36 10:24 11:42 2:12 8:27 7.20 Mt. Gretna.... 9:43 10:34 11:52 2:22 3:37 7:30 Arrive— Al ah pm pm pic pk iLancaster..... 8:10 11:35 12:68 8:65 4:45 8:40 PII P M >blladelp-iia.. 10:20 1:25 3:15 6:45 6:50 10:55 pm AM lew fork 1:20 2:30 5:50 9.20 9:36 3.50 AM PM F_Da.r__l.urg.... 7:30 .... 12:01 8:20 .... 8:45 Willii-Tiiapr.rt.. 11:15 8:00 .... 7:00 .... 3:25 Pittsburg...... 650 9:30 .... 1141 .... 6:10 I.eave— AM am am am pm pm Kew York 13:15 .... .... 9:00 .... 3:00 FUladelpba. 4:80 7:00 8:50 11:40 11:45 5:20 Lancaster 6:25 9:8110:5. 2:00 2:60 7:25 Harri_bur«... 7:00 10:_5 11:00 2:35 3:40 7:30 Williamsport.. 2:40 .... 8:25 .... 12:80 .... Pittsburg...... 8:11 2:80 ..... 7:15 8:00 .... Arrive— am am pm pm pm pm Ht. Uiutna.... 8:00 11:80 12:00 8:35 4:85 8:40 Cornwall 8:«8 11:40 1:00 8:45 MO MM Lebanon 8:20 11:50 1:10 8:55 4:55 9:00 Itt. Gretna Park proved Its popularity by tbe largely inorea_ed business of 1891. There will be many improvements for tbe aeaBon of 1892. B. B. GORDON. Gen'l Passenger Agent. MED IRISH. Gen'l. Supt. Dec. 81,1890. PHILADELPHIA AND READING RAILROAD. —— ABKANGEMKNTor PASSENGER TRAINS. NOVEMBER 15,1891. TRAINS LEAVE LEBANON. For New York via Philadelphia, Weekdays, 7:07, 8:00,10:SO a. m., 2:17,4:40 and 6:46 p. m.; Sunday,2:49 and4:49 p. m. Kor New York via Allentown, Weekdays, 7:07, 8:&0a.ra., 12:56,2:17 p. m. Sunday, 7:41 a. m. ror Philadelphia, Weekdays, 6:05, 7:07, 8:50, IikSO a. m., 2:17, 4.40 and 6:46 p. m.| Sunday, 7:42 a. Ol., 2:49, 4:40 and 6:40 p. ui. For Middletown, Weekday,, OKU, 8:23 a. va , 12:66, 6:15, and 1140 p. mi Snnday, 9:54 and lifts a. m. For Rcadin., Weekdays, HAS, 7:07 (Fast Express) 8:50,10:80 a. m.. 12:06, 2:11,4:40,6:46,8:63 p. m. Sunday, 7:42,9:4»a. m., 2:49, 4:40 and 6:40 __D,S_a For Allentown. Weekdays, 6:05, 7:07,8:00 a. ro., 12:56,2:17 and 4:40 p. m.; Sunday. 7:12, 9:43 a. m., 4:49 p. m. For Harrisburg, Weekdays, 6:02, 8:28, 10:58 a. m., 12:06, 2:22, 0:15. 7:07,8:46 (Cast Express), and il'-O p. m.; Sunday, 9:54,11:48 a. m., 6:04, 7:04,11:20 p. m. For l'inegr ove, 8:26 a.m., 1:00, 6:15 and 8:55 p.m. For Gettysburg, 6:02, 10:68 a. aa.. 2:22 p. nu For Shippensburg, 6:02,10:58 a, m., 2:22 p. m. TRAINS FOB LEBANON. Leave New Tork via Allentown, weekdays, 4:30 and 849 a. m., IKK), 8:40, and 5:40 p. m. Sunday, 1:00.0:80 p. m. Leave New Tork via Philadelphia, Weekday?, 7:45 and 11:30 a m., 140, 4:00, 5:00 p. m., and 12:16 midnight; Sunday, 11:80 a. in., 5:00 p. m. Leave Philadelphia, Weekdays, 4:10.8:35,10:00 a. in., 1:40,4:00. 6:00, 7:15 p. in ; Sunday, 6:30 •ltd 9:05 a. m., and 3:40, 7:15 p. at. Leave Reading, Weekdays, MM, 7:15,10:19,11:50 a. iu.. 1:27,4.20.8100,7:5! and 10:25 p. m. Sundays, 8:60, 10:48 a.m., 4:00, 0:00, 10:20 p.m. Leave Allentown. Weekdays, 5:57, 8:10 a. m , 12:10, 4:'_6, 6:40, 9:05 p. Hi.; Sunday, 7:25 a.m., 4:25 and 9:05 p. m. Leave Harrisburg, Weekdays, 5:10, 6:25, 7:56, 8:35 :i-. m., 12:00 noon, 1:26, 8:46. 5:50, and 8:00 p. ni. Sundays, 6:50,8:50 a. m., 2:00. 44)0, 0:45 ATLANTIO CITY DIVISION. Leave Philadelphia. Chestnut Street Whart and South Street Wharf FOR ATLANTIO CITY. Weekdays—Express, 9:00 a. m., 8:00,4:00p. m. Accommodation, 8:00 a m,, and 5:0*) p. m. Sundays—Express, 9:00 a. va. Accommodation, 8:00, a. m , and 4:30 p: m. Returning leave Atlantic UHy Depot,Atlantio an d Arkansas Avenues. Weekdays, Express, 7:80, 9 00 a, m., and 4:00p.m. Accommodation, 8,10 a. m. and 4.80 p. m. Sundays—Express, 4:00 p. m. Accommodation, 7:30 a. m. and 4:30 p. m. A. A. MoLEOD, C. G. Hancock. Gen'l. Passenger Agent, ' Apr. 21—tt. lENNSYLVAMIA RAILROAD. On and after Nov. ttd, 1890, trains will leave Lebanon a. follows, Bonatmltmg at Coneutago Jot all points on the Pennsylvania Hailro&d. I.eave Lebanon ut 6.26 a. m. Arrive at Cone- HHito 7.06 a. m., Lancaster 8.10 a. m .Philadelphia 10.20 a. BU, Raw Tork 1.20 p. m., Har ris- ourg 7.80 a. in., Altoona 145 p m., Pittsburg 6.50 p. m. This train makes olose conneotion at Harrisburg lor points on the Northern Cent ml nnd Phiiudelpbia/fc Erie Railroad. t_MWe Lebanon 10.15 a. m. Arrive at Cone- wago 10.55a.m., Harrisburg 12.01 p. in. Arrive •t Lancaster 11.85 a.m., Philadelphia 1.25 >i.m NewYork 4.00 p. m. This train makesolose connection at Harrl_burg for points on the Northern Central and P. & E. K. R. Leave Lebanon 11.80 a. m. Arrive at Cone- Wago 12.16 p. m., i_a.ncasterl2.58p. m.p Philadelphia 8.16p. m., NOW Tork 5.50 p. m. Leave Lebanon 2.00 p. m., arrive at Cone- wage 2.40 p. a., Lancaster 4.65 p. m. Philadelphia 6.50 p. ni.. New York 9.85 p. m.. Harris* ours _.'_0 p. nu, Altoona 7.60 p. in.. Pittsburg 11.56 p. m., Baltimore 7.oo p. m„ Washington 8.60 p.m. Leave Lebanon 3.10 p. m. Arrive at Cone wago 4.00 p. m., Lancaster, 4.45 p. m„ Phila- delp_.ii- 6.50 p. m., New York 9.85 p. m. Leave Lebanon 7.10 p.m. Arrive utCoue- waKo7.56 p. m., Lancaster8.40 p. m., Philadelphia 10.56 p. in., Harrisbnrg 8.45 p. va. s GRAB, il PUGH. J. S. tt OOD, (general Manager. Geul. Pas_r. Airt. Dee. 8. 1RWI IT PAYS To be cautious in the choice of medicines. Many are injured by trying experiments with compounds purporting to be blood-purifiers, thc principal recommendation of which would seem to bo their "cheapness." Being mado up ot worthless, though not always harmless, ingredients, they may well bo "cheap;" but, in the end, they aro dear. The most reliable medicines are costly, and can be retailed at mod- crate prices, only when the manufacturing chemist handles the raw materials in large quantities. It is economy, therefore, To Use Ayer's Sarsaparilla, the valuable components of which are Imported, wholesale, hy tho J. C. Ayer Co. from tho regions where theso articles are richest in medicinal properties. "It Is a wonder to me that any other than Ayer's Sarsaparilla has a show In tho market. II people consulted their owa interest, they would never use any other; for it Is uot only the best, hut; cm aoconnt of its concentrated strength and purity, it Is the most economical."—James F. Duffy, Druggist, Washington St., Providence, R. I. Dr. A. L. Almond, Druggist, Liberty, Va., writes: "Leading physicians lu this oity prescribe m. Ayer's Sarsaparilla. I have sold lt for eighteen years, and have the highest regard for Ms healing qualities." "Although tho formula is known to the trade, there ean bo HO successful imitation Ol Ayer's Sarsaparilla. Without having tbs enormous facilities of ths 1. C. Ayer Co., it is impossible for other parties to pnt together nidi valuable ingredients, at fits low cost of Ayer's Sarsaparilla It stands at the head ot all similar preparations."—Mark A. Jones, oo years a druggist, 60 Cambridge St., E. Cambridge, Mass. PHKPAR-D BT • lr. J. C. AYER & CO., Lowell, Mass. Bold by all Druggists. Prioe gl; six bottlns,$5. i VThe Best and Purest Medicine jjjj EVER MADB. ^<(^"A Itwtll drive tho Humor fromy onr '"••^- —-stem, and make your skin clean and smooth. Thou mm iples and Blotches _u_h mar your beauty .are caused by Impure " "iood, ana can be removed ina short time, if you an .blood i Xv v- xv* tSS>r %^&$s 9&^$&\M The Dose iX&rVS fCV^H ■mall—only a te spoonful. It is best'and sfceapes-^*;*^. &/?+. 4* medicine. Try ft, and^V'-J' %.% you will be satisfies. Get lt of your Druggist. DokTWjjt. G-_-»**o_roB, *&*_ If you are Buffering from KM ney Disease, and wwh to live -- old age, use SULPHUR BITTERS. They never fall to cure. Send 8 2-cent stamps to A. P, Ordway ft Co., Boston, Mass., for best medical work published? A GOOD AIID DURABLE TYPEWRITER FREE I To .every one who will subscribe for before January 1,1892. _Se_d 2c. stamp for sample _nvw and description ol Typewriter. TEX ■ ^08 PUB. O0«__ — Yobk Crrr. V CORNWALL RAILROAD. Lebanon & Lancaster Joint-Line. t__r~3hortoftt. route for Lanoaster and alt points east and west. On and after Nov. lflth. 1891, P. wsenger Trains will he run as follows p.m. TU 7 «6 729 tn 1_9 7 68 889 p.m. p.m. s io t tr 3 24 p.m. p.m. 1185 12 46 12 49 12 AS Tm 1 19 IH 100 pm. a.m. 9 10 • fl 9 24 a.m. a.m. '11 7 27 7 ao 7 39 ' « 708 8 35 9 15 a.m. am IH 6 46 6 SO a.m. Leave. Arrive. .........Lebanon.... ...... Coin wml ......Miners' Village Penryn .......... Mt. Hope ......... Man hefin.......... ..King Street, Lancaster.. • Columbia.......... Arrive. Leave. a.m. S 11 7 59 7 56 7 50 7 4. 7 88 7 00 am. a in. 10 25 10 18 10 10 p.m. 2 03 161 1 tt 1 tt i s? i tt 12 85 12 85 p.m. p.m. 4 85 4S8 4 _0 p.m. p m 6 80 6 19 6 16 i • to 6 05 5 88 5 20 au p.m. p.m. 3S5 8g»i 353 moi 4 28 • 00 ooo p.n_. p.m. 11 30 11 tt It 4ft p.m. a.m. 7 56 • 10 8 18 8 27 8 44 9 20 9 20 a.m. Leave. SUNDAV8. Ariive. ....,_.... Lebanon................ i......... .....Cornwall...... Miners' Village.. .Penryn................. Mt Hope Manlicfin................ King Street, Lancaster........ Oolumbia Arrive. Leave. _ m. p.m. .i 982 2 85 • 17 2 23 • 14 2 20 9 00 • ••• 846 8 00 806 a tn. p.m. p.m. 5 06 411 4 47 4*4* •ts 8 46 8 45 p.m. North and South-bound trains connect at Lebanon with trains on Philadelphia ft Reading Bailroad to and from Harrisburg, Beading, Potts ville, Philadelphia and New York. (jouih-bound trains connect at Manheim with trains on tbo Beading ft Columbia Bailroad for points between Beading and Columbia. Philadelphia ft Heading uailroad Company mileage books Till be accepted on the Cornwall Railroad. GEO. A. ALBERT, FASHIONABLE TAILOR. Full Line Fall and Winter Goods Just received. Reasonable Prices—A Fit Guaranteed. &ife 1019 .Forge Street. CHOKED O* _K.~-l__t._-l'. 'Lish, you rickollect that air Dad burn skittish old bay ntars Was no/livin' with—'at skeered •Tever thing she seed er heerd ? Th'owed Tea Anders.—-And i h'owed Pap. First he straddled hor, k-slapl— And 1 zory — well—th'owed her Haint no lellin' jest how fur!— Broke her collar bone—and might Jest a-kilt the girl outright! Well—Vg heerd 'em make their boast She'd th'ow auy fellow, 'Burnt, Ever backed kerl S' I, "1 know One man 't she'll never th'ow!" So I rid her ln to mill - And, jest comin' round the hill, Met a traction engine! -Ort Jest a-heerd that old mare snort. And lay back her yeers, and see Her a-tryin' to th'ow met 'Course 1 never said a word, But thinks I, "My- Ladybird, You'll git cuored, right here and now, Of yer dy-does, anyhow!" Ton know what I done ?—I jest Stuck her—tel she'd done her best I Then I slides off—strips the lines Over her blame head—and finds Me a little saplin' gad I 'Side the road!—And there we had Our own fun! Jest wore her outl— Mounted her, and faced about, And jest made her boss that-air Little traction-engine there! —James Whitcomb Riley. BIG JIM DIDN'T SHOOT. AN INCIDENT OP THE OPENING OF OKLAHOMA TO SETTLERS. Ik recently fell to my lot to pass a Sunday in a small Kansas town, and as it was a wet day I was forced to remain tor the greater part of it cooped up in the little hotel. The house had no other guest, and so for tiie want of other company I went to the office and entered into conversation with the.andl.ord, a tall, sun bronzed, leathery featured man past middle age, who, I soon learned, had spent many years in the West, and who had seen some rough, aa well as interesting experiences, and who was chuck full of reminiscences. After we had talked for a couple af hours on various subjects, my host suddenly remarked: "I reckon, stranger, you've heard tell of Jim Dixon, or more likely 'Big Jiui' as we alius oalled him." "Ko, I think oot," I was compelled to admit, though I realized from the tone in which the question was asked that it was a humiliating admission to make. "Never?" the landlord repeated. "Wai, that's strange. Thought shortly ever'- body knowed 'bout Jim. He was the foremost man on the border, an' he made a record that'll stand a good many years.- He was a great man, Jim was; a won* devful feller, shore. Tough! Oh my, Stranger, I reckon he was. He wasn't afeard of nothin', an' I guess the happi'._i! times he ever knowed was when he was mixed up in a shootin' scrape. Thar's no tellin' how many men Jim killed first an' last, for he was so reckless he'd jes' pop 'em over at the crook of a finger, an' didn't no more kesr for it than nothin*. Twixt you an' me, stranger, I think Jim oarried the shootin' business a leetle too fer. I like fer ft man to stand up fer his rights, and If a feller needs drappin', why then drap 'lm; but there ain't no call fer gettin' too blamed promieo'us 'bout it an'. puttin' a hols through a ohap jest fer the fun of it. . "I reckon, stranger, ever" man what Jim made up hi* mind to kill caught it, 'eept one, an' that one, I guess, was the last one he ever laid off to plant." "Jim caught it that time himself, eh?" I suggested. ,• "No, he didn't, "the landlord replied in a tone of slight disgust. "Narry time, sir. Jim wasn't tiie man to be planted premachooriy, sa' the feller that could uap 'im never lived." "How did it happen that ha didn't kill the man you speak of, then?" I asked. "Well, dr, it was a quaire piece of business, that was, an' one o' the most techin' things I ever see. I never knowed a feller so broke up in all my life aa Jim wat, an', sir, it was nobody but a little gal that dona it—a little bito'shaver, 'bout six or seven years old, I reckon, an' the poorest peekedest little thing I ever set eyes on. " Waut to hear 'bout it, eh? Wai, the way of it was thia: "You see 'bout tha time Oklahoma was opened for settlement, Big Jim, an' me, an' four other fellers was herdin' on a range in western Texas. We'd bean up in the territory herdin' a right smart, but the soldiers drove ua out with tha rest of ths cattle fellers, you know, and so we laid down aa the border sorter waitin' for developments. "While ws wat in the territory wa picked out a valley what had 'bout 8,000 acres o' the best land an' richest grass I ever aee any wher, an' we 'lowed as soon as the country waa open far settlement we'd come back and take possession of it an' make a ranch thar la spite o' all era* a tion. "Wai, by an' by the President issued his proclamation, an' then When the da/ fer enterin' tte territory come 'round we moved ia with our cattle aq' took possession of the valley. "'Kow,'said 1 that night aa we squatted 'bout our campfire, 'if none tf those blamed settlers don't come foolin' 'round yere to take up claims ia this valley we're fixed, for this 'U make one 'o tlie nicest little ranches in the country.' "'Wai,' said Big Jim with an oath, 'if any settler wants to take a olaim yere, au thinks he can, jis' let him toy it. I' low he'll find out mouty blamed soon that he's undertook a most miserable unhealthy job, Tliis valley's ours an' we're goin' to hold it spite o' the dickens; an' I can tell yoa right now, fellers, that I'll shoot the first chap what offers to stop here. I'll make sich a example of him that ther won't another settler come in 40 mile of us.' "Wai, we was purty well tired out so we turned in quick as supper was over, an' we slept like logs till mornin'. When we woke the sun was up, an' the fust thing we see when we glanced 'cross the valley was a old covered wagon not mor'n a quarter of a mile away. The wagon had oome in, I reckon, jis'after we went to sleep, an' the folks had put up a tent like as if they was fixin' to stay, Big Jim he took a squint at the outfit, then he tore loose an' swore fit to set a woods afire. Then he got his pistols, an when somebody axed What he was goin' to do, he said: "'I'm goin' over thar an' wipe that derned settler out. I'm goin' to shoot him so full tf lead that he'll weigh a ton. FU break up this squatter business right on the start.' "I knowed Big Jim meant what he said an' I Mt kind o'sorry for the settler' but I didn't lay nothin*. Me and the other boys jest set down and watched Jim as he strided 'cross the prairie, an' waited to see what was goin' to happen. "When Jim got up sorter close to the wagon we see him draw his gun au' git ready to shoot, then we see him edge up a little closer kinder keerf ul like, then all to once we see him stop an' wait liko he was listen i n' at someth i n'. "Wai; I reckon most a half hour must a passed that .way, an' we got to wonder- in' what made Jim Stan' there actin' like that, when all to once he whirled 'round an' come back to wt lookin' the soberest an' solemnest I ever see a feller look in all my life. By gosh, stranger, you may not believe it, but I'd a most swear they was tears in old Jim's eyes, an' I know when he spoke to us his voice was all a tremble Uke his feelin's was too much for him. "It was a good bit before Jim said a word, an' aU the time he jest set thar on a inverted bucket nussin' his head in his hands, an' actin' like he was dreadful cut up. We stood 'round an' looked at him, a wonderin' what it meant, but after a while I ventured to speak to him, sayin': "'What's ailin' you, Jim?' "Then he raised his head sorter slow Uke, an' in a tone so sad and different from what his alius was that I didn't recognise it, he said: "'Boys, I'm jis' completely upsot by what I heard over thar, an' I feel so blame sneak in' mean that I've a great notion to shoot myself. I never knowed before how cussed onery I am.' "Course we was all s'prised at that sort o* talk from Jim, 'cause he was so blamed tough we didn't s'pose nothin' 'ud tech his heart, an' we waa anxious to know what he'd heard over to the wagon, an' so we axed him. "'Wai,' he said, 'I went over thar to shoot that settler, .in' I was slippin' up to the wagon to git the drap on him, when all at once I heard a voice—the meekest, pitifulest little voice I ever hear in my Ufa, aa' I knowed in a minute it was the voice of a leetle gal.' "Jim's voice choked up so he couldn't say nothin* more, so he wailed a moment, an' then he went on: "'Fellers,' he said, 'that voice jest went through me Uke a knife, an' I never fall so quar* since I waa bora. It was so weak, an' so pitiful, an' so helpless like. I heard it say: "'Is the land pretty, pa? Is it green with grass like the old home back east ?' " 'Yes, it is very beautiful, darling,' a man replied Uke he was cryin'. 'It's very pretty, an' you will find tha green prairie almost as nice as tha big meadow back at the old home. When you get well you can romp over the plain and gather flowers and be very happy." "'I ain't never goin' to be weU any more, pa,' the little voice said, and I won't never gather no flowers nor romp over the prarie; bnt I'm glad Wt pretty, 'cause when I'm in Heaven where the angels are, an' where everything is so beautiful and bright, I want, to know that you an' ma have a nice home like the old one we lost. I won't be with you very long now, pa, 'cause I can hear the angels singin', an' I know they're comin' to take me away. Don't cry, dear pa an' ma, 'cause I ain't sorry to go—only I don't like to leave you. I'm so glad you're goin' to have a beautiful homo where the grass an' the flowers grow; an' sometimes, maybe, I'U oome back to see you.' " Wai, big Jim, he told over all what the leetle gal said, an' I never see anybody what talked so gentle an' kind aa be did, "'Fellows,' he said in conclusion, 'I never felt so awful as I did while I was standin' there listenin' to them words o' that ohild. Peared like every one of 'em was a knife, an' that ahe was stabbin' 'em into my cussed, wicked heart; an' though thay hurt terrible I wanted 'em to stab deeper, 'cause I knowed I deserved it. Thar I was sneakin' ap thar like a law down onery thief, intendin' to shoot that feller te tryin' to git a home, while he was in thar nussin' his dy in' child an' her a talkin' 'bout the grass an' the flowers, aa' the old home back eaat, an* the angels an' Heaven. Boys, I'd a been glad if a streak o' lightnin' had struck me right then an' thar.' "Wai, air, we never heard nothin' more 'bout keepin' settlers off en the valley, an' we never triad to hold none of it 'cept what tha law 'titled us to hold. Big Jim an' all the rest of us helped the settlers ever* way we could, and when the angels came fer his leetle gal an' took hsr spirit away we made a grave on the prairie an' buried her whar the grass growed and whar Big Jim planted a tree an' some flowera I never see old Jim cry before, stranger, bnt he shed tears over that grave like the leetle gal was his own, and from that day he was a different man, an' as kind an' gentle as a woman. "— Thomas P. Montfort, Bill Snort's Letter. BY ALEX. K. SWEET. White Horsa. Nor. 23, 1891. To Major Dan Mc Gary, Houston, Ttm.: My Deab Major :—A little incident occurred in my family cir.le that goes to show that while Mrs. Snorl is as Caesar's wife should have been, "above suspicion," she also resembles Caesar, himself, for she is ambitious. In fact, like Sol Smith Russell's dog-faced boy who wanted to be the bearded woman in the show, she is too ambitious. I noticed that Minerva was not herself for several days. She seemed to have lost her appetite and to be out of sorts. At last I said to her, taking her on my knee and encircling her sylphlike waist with my stalwart arm: "What's the matter with Snorty's little Birdie ? Has Mrs. Harrison been trying to hurt-Birdie's feelings again. " she merely shook her dangling curls. "Does Birdie hanker after the bean pots of Boston ? Does she want to go oack to Busting to visit cousins Amiii- adab, Priscilla, Obadiah, Ananias, Sapphlra, Nicodemus, Ichabod, and the rest of them." No, she didn't want to see any of them. Her "Snorty" was all the company she wanted. Tin n I suggested malaria, caused by the miasmatic vapors of the Potomac flats, but it was not that; it was ambition. She wants me to be the next President of the United States. She is not satisfied with my being the next Vice-President on the Harrison ticket. I expressed a foreboding that the people of this country were not ripe for such a President as I would make; thnt I was too far in advance of the a1, e to b *■ acceptable to the masses, or rather ''them asses," who elect such Presidents as Hayes and Harrison. I shall not yield tr, popular clamor and become President of he United States, not even to accommodate Minerva, who will have to be satisfied with the Vice- Presidential coronet. At the same time I expect to have considerable trouble in preventing the vox populi forcing the Presidential diadem upon my noble brow, tor honors by the bushel are being showered upon Col. Snort and his blushing young Boston bride, the belle of the Wnite House. Minerva is not only, in the language of poesy, a may flower, a bashful morning glory, a night bio lining eereus, the daisiest of daisies, .he is in herself a whole botanical garden. Moreover, she has been officially notified that the New York flower show has named a new brand of blonde cllrysarit einum as big as a soup plate niter her* Wonder how Caroline Scott Harrison feels now ? Mrs. President Harrison smole a sickly smile when she heard of the new honor bestowed on Minerva Beacohhill Snort. The following is a copy of the letter conferring the floral honor on the only real Pirst Lady of the Land, with the Boston label blown ih the bottle. Beware of Indiana imitations! New York, Nov. 6th, 1891. ToCoi». Bu.]. Snout, > Executive Mansion, Washington.. : Dear Bib :—As you are probably aware, the lady managers of trie great New York Clm sau th. mum Show nave attaohed to different varieties of the peerless autumn flower the names of some of the most beautiful and distinguished ladies of the land. The specimens which attract muoh admiration are the Mme. Drexel, a beautiful magenta-like flower; tbe Tokio. a large, full, fluffy specimen of which bears the name of Miss Minnie Wanamaker; a snowy bloom christened Mrs. Langtry; the Magicienne, a beautiful specimen, large and rich of coloring, with pale butT petals deepening into a glow of ' he richest dull red ; and a blissoiii of dark red named' tne Carnegie, and a flower with gold petals named the Sara'i Bernhardt. Appreciating the beauty and intelligence of the fair young bride which you have introduced into the Wbite House, and being personal admirers of the great journalist and statesman. Col. Bill Snort, with the kind permission of yourself and Mrs. Snort, we desire to attach to a queer specimen of a spikelike flower, of a salmon pink color, trained like an umbrella tree over a spreading lattice, and forming itself into a glowing splendor of bloom, toe beautiful and poetic name of Snortiaua. As you are probably aware, we have also baptized a new blossom with white, pink and crimson petals the Ruth Cleveland, whose father's name, like your own, hav been mentioned in connection with the Presidency. May we, ladies of the New York Chrysanthemum Show, hope that at our next annual exhibit we may have the opportunity of conferring a like honor on the prospective member of your illustrious family, if it should prove to be a girl. Have you selected a name for it as yet. Last Man ageks Chrysanthemum Show. To this I have replied as foUows: Executive Mansion, Nov. 10, 1891. Mt dear Ladies:—In behalf oil Mrs. Snort and myself, and alio in behalf of that prospective heir in the Snort family to which you so touchingly allude, I desire to express our hearty appreciation of your Kindness, and to state in answer to your last inquiry and to innumerable inquiries from all parts ot the country, that as yet Mrs. Snort and myself have not selected a name for the future infant. < Yours truly, Bill Snort. It takes Harrison longer to see anything than any President, we have had. The day after the election I went into his office and found lr m in high spirits. He was rejoicing over the election of McKinley in Ohio. He said: "By Jove, Col. Snort, this is glorious news. We will have to celebrate this with a little of that barrel of old Scotch whisky Andy Carnegie sent me from Scotland, and which us only to be used on great .occasions Uke this. Lige, go down in the cellar and bring up some ofthe 'O, be joyful P" After we had disposed of a bottle or so I began to feel the effects tonic. "Harrison, schuse me, but 3 fool." said I. "Whazzd am I a fool' of tha matter, Schnort. Why Shay! replied Hai rison. who was worse off than I was, tie'eause he was never a member of th. Texas "Poker" Legislature. Besides that Scotch whisky is the stronges.. stuff ever I tasted. However, I maii'agei to reply: '"The matter ish. Mishter Preshid. nt, that while 'publican party ish all rite, thisli adminishtiashun ish scoopedi You don't know it, but lemme t_!l you your headsh ish off. Our chances for a sheckond term are blacker inshide of box blacking." "How sho, Schnort, how sho'." asked Harrison, taking another snifter. "Mishter Preshident," said T. holding up a oopy of the Wasi»iu.;ioa Chronicle, "here ish a teller who hash the whole thing in nutshell, shee? Read the beadliush " HARRISON SHELVED! The People did it last Tuksdat. For President, 1892, William MCKinley. McKindey the Coming Max ! "Itsh lie. Don't care who shays sho. Harrison's coming man. Hurrah for Harrison and Schnort i." said Harrison. I read the rest of the article out loud after a fashion. It ran as follows: Harrison's bright prospects. The series of facts are self-evident. Gen Harrison was eliminated from the 1892 race >iy the results last Tuesday in New York, Massachusetts and Iowa. Mr. Blaine shares to a degree tha shelving of the Harrison Administration, and his disgruntled attitude toward the McKinley tariff bill, practically eliminates him also from the 1892 race. The McKinley tariff is the winning platform te the Republicans to stand on in 1992. The oandidate of the Chronicle for. President of these United States lor 1892,is HON. WILLIAM McKINLEY OF OHIO. Hurrah for the 'winning Buckeve Boy for 1892. Yours for reform, Bill Snort. The Olrt Santa Fe Trail. Thirty-five years after Columbus discovered this Continent Alva Nunez Cab- eza de Vaca sailed from Spain and landed in Florida, or in the region now called by that name. From there he made a wonderful overland journey to the City of Mexico. On that journey a part of tha way he trav ersed a route which over si nee has found great favor with travelers to New Mexioo. Just think of itl There is a road 800 miles long, rising so imperceptibly for over 600 miles of the distance as to seem absolutely level, and without g single bridge from end to end I What wonderful tales that road could tell—of the bearded followers of de Vaca, thin and worn by privation and the fatigue of their long journey through a wilderness until then pathless—of the after settlement of the neighborhood by the Spaniards—of the coming of the hardy American pioneer, traders, soldiers, settlers, and last, but most important of all. tha 'railroad engineers. Many an exploit of soldiers, scout, and Indian warrior has that anoient trail witnessed, Phil Kearney knew it well, te had he not fought over nearly its entire length? Kit Carson achieved much of his fame in its vicinity, and in the early fifties F. X Aubrey, a young man, made a famous ride against time over the same route, from Santa Fe to Independence, Mo.— Pittsburg Dispatch. Trair Resigned. There waa once a certain old lady whose son, late in life, married against her wishes. The wife was everything that could be desired, and yet the old lady had ndt intended her middle aged-, "boy" to marry at all, and loud were her complaints thereat. Finally the minister called to ossay consolation and remind, her that it was hardly best tomakethe- neighbors the confidants of her woes. " I am sure Huldah will prove a dutiful daughter to you," said he. She'll do as well as she oan," grumbled the old lady, "but her best'11 be bad enough. * "Well, you know the deed is done. now, and nothing you can say will prevent it." "I know it. If he had only heard tome in the flrst place, it never would have happened." "But, my dear madam, this is not making tiie best of things." "There ain't any best to some things!" snapped she. "If you oouid only be resigned " "Resigned? Pm always resigned whea things go as I want them tol" Evidently there was no more to bo _aid. The best way to live is to cast away troubles and contentions, which can not be cured by fretting. A panther escaped from his cage ia Grand museum at Boston and attacked and terribly lacerated an elephant. A large deposit of vanadium, a metal worth $1,500 an ounce, was discovered in Mondova, Argentine Republic. Professor Alfredo Barili, a musician and a nepbew of Patti, ■ deserted his wife and children in Atlanta, Ga. * It was reported in Washington that Italy intended to establish friendly relations with the United States.
Object Description
Title | Lebanon Advertiser |
Contributors | Backstage Library Works |
Date | 1891-11-25 |
Original Format | Newspapers |
Type | text |
Digital Format | image/tif |
Source | Lebanon |
Language | eng |
Rights | https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/ |
Contact | For information on source and images, contact the State Library of Pennsylvania, Digital Rights Office, Forum Bldg., 607 South Dr, Harrisburg, PA 17120-0600. Phone: (717) 783-5969 |
Contributing Institution | State Library of Pennsylvania |
Sponsorship | This Digital Object is provided in a collection that is included in POWER Library: Pennsylvania Photos and Documents, which is funded by the Office of Commonwealth Libraries of Pennsylvania/Pennsylvania Department of Education. |
Description
Title | Lebanon Advertiser |
Contributors | Backstage Library Works |
Date | 1891-11-25 |
Original Format | Newspapers |
Type | text |
Digital Format | image/tif |
Identifier | Lebanon_Advertiser_18911125_001.tif |
Source | Lebanon |
Language | eng |
Rights | https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/ |
Contact | For information on source and images, contact the State Library of Pennsylvania, Digital Rights Office, Forum Bldg., 607 South Dr, Harrisburg, PA 17120-0600. Phone: (717) 783-5969 |
Contributing Institution | State Library of Pennsylvania |
Sponsorship | This Digital Object is provided in a collection that is included in POWER Library: Pennsylvania Photos and Documents, which is funded by the Office of Commonwealth Libraries of Pennsylvania/Pennsylvania Department of Education. |
Full Text | r * etownt liiti. VOL. 44.-NO. 81. LEBANON, LEBANOS COUNTY, PA., WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 1891. WHOLE SO—2103. ftatlroatis. CORNWALL ANU LEBANOH KAIL- ■MD. DIRECT ROUTE FOB ALL POINTS ON THK PENNSYLVANIA RAILliOAD. ArrniiK«inent of Psasenvei Trains. On and alter Thursday, November 19, 1891, passenger trains will run as follows: Leave— am am ait r m r_ pm Lebanon 6:25 10:1S Il:3» 2:00 3:15 7:10 Cornwall 6:36 10:24 11:42 2:12 8:27 7.20 Mt. Gretna.... 9:43 10:34 11:52 2:22 3:37 7:30 Arrive— Al ah pm pm pic pk iLancaster..... 8:10 11:35 12:68 8:65 4:45 8:40 PII P M >blladelp-iia.. 10:20 1:25 3:15 6:45 6:50 10:55 pm AM lew fork 1:20 2:30 5:50 9.20 9:36 3.50 AM PM F_Da.r__l.urg.... 7:30 .... 12:01 8:20 .... 8:45 Willii-Tiiapr.rt.. 11:15 8:00 .... 7:00 .... 3:25 Pittsburg...... 650 9:30 .... 1141 .... 6:10 I.eave— AM am am am pm pm Kew York 13:15 .... .... 9:00 .... 3:00 FUladelpba. 4:80 7:00 8:50 11:40 11:45 5:20 Lancaster 6:25 9:8110:5. 2:00 2:60 7:25 Harri_bur«... 7:00 10:_5 11:00 2:35 3:40 7:30 Williamsport.. 2:40 .... 8:25 .... 12:80 .... Pittsburg...... 8:11 2:80 ..... 7:15 8:00 .... Arrive— am am pm pm pm pm Ht. Uiutna.... 8:00 11:80 12:00 8:35 4:85 8:40 Cornwall 8:«8 11:40 1:00 8:45 MO MM Lebanon 8:20 11:50 1:10 8:55 4:55 9:00 Itt. Gretna Park proved Its popularity by tbe largely inorea_ed business of 1891. There will be many improvements for tbe aeaBon of 1892. B. B. GORDON. Gen'l Passenger Agent. MED IRISH. Gen'l. Supt. Dec. 81,1890. PHILADELPHIA AND READING RAILROAD. —— ABKANGEMKNTor PASSENGER TRAINS. NOVEMBER 15,1891. TRAINS LEAVE LEBANON. For New York via Philadelphia, Weekdays, 7:07, 8:00,10:SO a. m., 2:17,4:40 and 6:46 p. m.; Sunday,2:49 and4:49 p. m. Kor New York via Allentown, Weekdays, 7:07, 8:&0a.ra., 12:56,2:17 p. m. Sunday, 7:41 a. m. ror Philadelphia, Weekdays, 6:05, 7:07, 8:50, IikSO a. m., 2:17, 4.40 and 6:46 p. m.| Sunday, 7:42 a. Ol., 2:49, 4:40 and 6:40 p. ui. For Middletown, Weekday,, OKU, 8:23 a. va , 12:66, 6:15, and 1140 p. mi Snnday, 9:54 and lifts a. m. For Rcadin., Weekdays, HAS, 7:07 (Fast Express) 8:50,10:80 a. m.. 12:06, 2:11,4:40,6:46,8:63 p. m. Sunday, 7:42,9:4»a. m., 2:49, 4:40 and 6:40 __D,S_a For Allentown. Weekdays, 6:05, 7:07,8:00 a. ro., 12:56,2:17 and 4:40 p. m.; Sunday. 7:12, 9:43 a. m., 4:49 p. m. For Harrisburg, Weekdays, 6:02, 8:28, 10:58 a. m., 12:06, 2:22, 0:15. 7:07,8:46 (Cast Express), and il'-O p. m.; Sunday, 9:54,11:48 a. m., 6:04, 7:04,11:20 p. m. For l'inegr ove, 8:26 a.m., 1:00, 6:15 and 8:55 p.m. For Gettysburg, 6:02, 10:68 a. aa.. 2:22 p. nu For Shippensburg, 6:02,10:58 a, m., 2:22 p. m. TRAINS FOB LEBANON. Leave New Tork via Allentown, weekdays, 4:30 and 849 a. m., IKK), 8:40, and 5:40 p. m. Sunday, 1:00.0:80 p. m. Leave New Tork via Philadelphia, Weekday?, 7:45 and 11:30 a m., 140, 4:00, 5:00 p. m., and 12:16 midnight; Sunday, 11:80 a. in., 5:00 p. m. Leave Philadelphia, Weekdays, 4:10.8:35,10:00 a. in., 1:40,4:00. 6:00, 7:15 p. in ; Sunday, 6:30 •ltd 9:05 a. m., and 3:40, 7:15 p. at. Leave Reading, Weekdays, MM, 7:15,10:19,11:50 a. iu.. 1:27,4.20.8100,7:5! and 10:25 p. m. Sundays, 8:60, 10:48 a.m., 4:00, 0:00, 10:20 p.m. Leave Allentown. Weekdays, 5:57, 8:10 a. m , 12:10, 4:'_6, 6:40, 9:05 p. Hi.; Sunday, 7:25 a.m., 4:25 and 9:05 p. m. Leave Harrisburg, Weekdays, 5:10, 6:25, 7:56, 8:35 :i-. m., 12:00 noon, 1:26, 8:46. 5:50, and 8:00 p. ni. Sundays, 6:50,8:50 a. m., 2:00. 44)0, 0:45 ATLANTIO CITY DIVISION. Leave Philadelphia. Chestnut Street Whart and South Street Wharf FOR ATLANTIO CITY. Weekdays—Express, 9:00 a. m., 8:00,4:00p. m. Accommodation, 8:00 a m,, and 5:0*) p. m. Sundays—Express, 9:00 a. va. Accommodation, 8:00, a. m , and 4:30 p: m. Returning leave Atlantic UHy Depot,Atlantio an d Arkansas Avenues. Weekdays, Express, 7:80, 9 00 a, m., and 4:00p.m. Accommodation, 8,10 a. m. and 4.80 p. m. Sundays—Express, 4:00 p. m. Accommodation, 7:30 a. m. and 4:30 p. m. A. A. MoLEOD, C. G. Hancock. Gen'l. Passenger Agent, ' Apr. 21—tt. lENNSYLVAMIA RAILROAD. On and after Nov. ttd, 1890, trains will leave Lebanon a. follows, Bonatmltmg at Coneutago Jot all points on the Pennsylvania Hailro&d. I.eave Lebanon ut 6.26 a. m. Arrive at Cone- HHito 7.06 a. m., Lancaster 8.10 a. m .Philadelphia 10.20 a. BU, Raw Tork 1.20 p. m., Har ris- ourg 7.80 a. in., Altoona 145 p m., Pittsburg 6.50 p. m. This train makes olose conneotion at Harrisburg lor points on the Northern Cent ml nnd Phiiudelpbia/fc Erie Railroad. t_MWe Lebanon 10.15 a. m. Arrive at Cone- wago 10.55a.m., Harrisburg 12.01 p. in. Arrive •t Lancaster 11.85 a.m., Philadelphia 1.25 >i.m NewYork 4.00 p. m. This train makesolose connection at Harrl_burg for points on the Northern Central and P. & E. K. R. Leave Lebanon 11.80 a. m. Arrive at Cone- Wago 12.16 p. m., i_a.ncasterl2.58p. m.p Philadelphia 8.16p. m., NOW Tork 5.50 p. m. Leave Lebanon 2.00 p. m., arrive at Cone- wage 2.40 p. a., Lancaster 4.65 p. m. Philadelphia 6.50 p. ni.. New York 9.85 p. m.. Harris* ours _.'_0 p. nu, Altoona 7.60 p. in.. Pittsburg 11.56 p. m., Baltimore 7.oo p. m„ Washington 8.60 p.m. Leave Lebanon 3.10 p. m. Arrive at Cone wago 4.00 p. m., Lancaster, 4.45 p. m„ Phila- delp_.ii- 6.50 p. m., New York 9.85 p. m. Leave Lebanon 7.10 p.m. Arrive utCoue- waKo7.56 p. m., Lancaster8.40 p. m., Philadelphia 10.56 p. in., Harrisbnrg 8.45 p. va. s GRAB, il PUGH. J. S. tt OOD, (general Manager. Geul. Pas_r. Airt. Dee. 8. 1RWI IT PAYS To be cautious in the choice of medicines. Many are injured by trying experiments with compounds purporting to be blood-purifiers, thc principal recommendation of which would seem to bo their "cheapness." Being mado up ot worthless, though not always harmless, ingredients, they may well bo "cheap;" but, in the end, they aro dear. The most reliable medicines are costly, and can be retailed at mod- crate prices, only when the manufacturing chemist handles the raw materials in large quantities. It is economy, therefore, To Use Ayer's Sarsaparilla, the valuable components of which are Imported, wholesale, hy tho J. C. Ayer Co. from tho regions where theso articles are richest in medicinal properties. "It Is a wonder to me that any other than Ayer's Sarsaparilla has a show In tho market. II people consulted their owa interest, they would never use any other; for it Is uot only the best, hut; cm aoconnt of its concentrated strength and purity, it Is the most economical."—James F. Duffy, Druggist, Washington St., Providence, R. I. Dr. A. L. Almond, Druggist, Liberty, Va., writes: "Leading physicians lu this oity prescribe m. Ayer's Sarsaparilla. I have sold lt for eighteen years, and have the highest regard for Ms healing qualities." "Although tho formula is known to the trade, there ean bo HO successful imitation Ol Ayer's Sarsaparilla. Without having tbs enormous facilities of ths 1. C. Ayer Co., it is impossible for other parties to pnt together nidi valuable ingredients, at fits low cost of Ayer's Sarsaparilla It stands at the head ot all similar preparations."—Mark A. Jones, oo years a druggist, 60 Cambridge St., E. Cambridge, Mass. PHKPAR-D BT • lr. J. C. AYER & CO., Lowell, Mass. Bold by all Druggists. Prioe gl; six bottlns,$5. i VThe Best and Purest Medicine jjjj EVER MADB. ^<(^"A Itwtll drive tho Humor fromy onr '"••^- —-stem, and make your skin clean and smooth. Thou mm iples and Blotches _u_h mar your beauty .are caused by Impure " "iood, ana can be removed ina short time, if you an .blood i Xv v- xv* tSS>r %^&$s 9&^$&\M The Dose iX&rVS fCV^H ■mall—only a te spoonful. It is best'and sfceapes-^*;*^. &/?+. 4* medicine. Try ft, and^V'-J' %.% you will be satisfies. Get lt of your Druggist. DokTWjjt. G-_-»**o_roB, *&*_ If you are Buffering from KM ney Disease, and wwh to live -- old age, use SULPHUR BITTERS. They never fall to cure. Send 8 2-cent stamps to A. P, Ordway ft Co., Boston, Mass., for best medical work published? A GOOD AIID DURABLE TYPEWRITER FREE I To .every one who will subscribe for before January 1,1892. _Se_d 2c. stamp for sample _nvw and description ol Typewriter. TEX ■ ^08 PUB. O0«__ — Yobk Crrr. V CORNWALL RAILROAD. Lebanon & Lancaster Joint-Line. t__r~3hortoftt. route for Lanoaster and alt points east and west. On and after Nov. lflth. 1891, P. wsenger Trains will he run as follows p.m. TU 7 «6 729 tn 1_9 7 68 889 p.m. p.m. s io t tr 3 24 p.m. p.m. 1185 12 46 12 49 12 AS Tm 1 19 IH 100 pm. a.m. 9 10 • fl 9 24 a.m. a.m. '11 7 27 7 ao 7 39 ' « 708 8 35 9 15 a.m. am IH 6 46 6 SO a.m. Leave. Arrive. .........Lebanon.... ...... Coin wml ......Miners' Village Penryn .......... Mt. Hope ......... Man hefin.......... ..King Street, Lancaster.. • Columbia.......... Arrive. Leave. a.m. S 11 7 59 7 56 7 50 7 4. 7 88 7 00 am. a in. 10 25 10 18 10 10 p.m. 2 03 161 1 tt 1 tt i s? i tt 12 85 12 85 p.m. p.m. 4 85 4S8 4 _0 p.m. p m 6 80 6 19 6 16 i • to 6 05 5 88 5 20 au p.m. p.m. 3S5 8g»i 353 moi 4 28 • 00 ooo p.n_. p.m. 11 30 11 tt It 4ft p.m. a.m. 7 56 • 10 8 18 8 27 8 44 9 20 9 20 a.m. Leave. SUNDAV8. Ariive. ....,_.... Lebanon................ i......... .....Cornwall...... Miners' Village.. .Penryn................. Mt Hope Manlicfin................ King Street, Lancaster........ Oolumbia Arrive. Leave. _ m. p.m. .i 982 2 85 • 17 2 23 • 14 2 20 9 00 • ••• 846 8 00 806 a tn. p.m. p.m. 5 06 411 4 47 4*4* •ts 8 46 8 45 p.m. North and South-bound trains connect at Lebanon with trains on Philadelphia ft Reading Bailroad to and from Harrisburg, Beading, Potts ville, Philadelphia and New York. (jouih-bound trains connect at Manheim with trains on tbo Beading ft Columbia Bailroad for points between Beading and Columbia. Philadelphia ft Heading uailroad Company mileage books Till be accepted on the Cornwall Railroad. GEO. A. ALBERT, FASHIONABLE TAILOR. Full Line Fall and Winter Goods Just received. Reasonable Prices—A Fit Guaranteed. &ife 1019 .Forge Street. CHOKED O* _K.~-l__t._-l'. 'Lish, you rickollect that air Dad burn skittish old bay ntars Was no/livin' with—'at skeered •Tever thing she seed er heerd ? Th'owed Tea Anders.—-And i h'owed Pap. First he straddled hor, k-slapl— And 1 zory — well—th'owed her Haint no lellin' jest how fur!— Broke her collar bone—and might Jest a-kilt the girl outright! Well—Vg heerd 'em make their boast She'd th'ow auy fellow, 'Burnt, Ever backed kerl S' I, "1 know One man 't she'll never th'ow!" So I rid her ln to mill - And, jest comin' round the hill, Met a traction engine! -Ort Jest a-heerd that old mare snort. And lay back her yeers, and see Her a-tryin' to th'ow met 'Course 1 never said a word, But thinks I, "My- Ladybird, You'll git cuored, right here and now, Of yer dy-does, anyhow!" Ton know what I done ?—I jest Stuck her—tel she'd done her best I Then I slides off—strips the lines Over her blame head—and finds Me a little saplin' gad I 'Side the road!—And there we had Our own fun! Jest wore her outl— Mounted her, and faced about, And jest made her boss that-air Little traction-engine there! —James Whitcomb Riley. BIG JIM DIDN'T SHOOT. AN INCIDENT OP THE OPENING OF OKLAHOMA TO SETTLERS. Ik recently fell to my lot to pass a Sunday in a small Kansas town, and as it was a wet day I was forced to remain tor the greater part of it cooped up in the little hotel. The house had no other guest, and so for tiie want of other company I went to the office and entered into conversation with the.andl.ord, a tall, sun bronzed, leathery featured man past middle age, who, I soon learned, had spent many years in the West, and who had seen some rough, aa well as interesting experiences, and who was chuck full of reminiscences. After we had talked for a couple af hours on various subjects, my host suddenly remarked: "I reckon, stranger, you've heard tell of Jim Dixon, or more likely 'Big Jiui' as we alius oalled him." "Ko, I think oot," I was compelled to admit, though I realized from the tone in which the question was asked that it was a humiliating admission to make. "Never?" the landlord repeated. "Wai, that's strange. Thought shortly ever'- body knowed 'bout Jim. He was the foremost man on the border, an' he made a record that'll stand a good many years.- He was a great man, Jim was; a won* devful feller, shore. Tough! Oh my, Stranger, I reckon he was. He wasn't afeard of nothin', an' I guess the happi'._i! times he ever knowed was when he was mixed up in a shootin' scrape. Thar's no tellin' how many men Jim killed first an' last, for he was so reckless he'd jes' pop 'em over at the crook of a finger, an' didn't no more kesr for it than nothin*. Twixt you an' me, stranger, I think Jim oarried the shootin' business a leetle too fer. I like fer ft man to stand up fer his rights, and If a feller needs drappin', why then drap 'lm; but there ain't no call fer gettin' too blamed promieo'us 'bout it an'. puttin' a hols through a ohap jest fer the fun of it. . "I reckon, stranger, ever" man what Jim made up hi* mind to kill caught it, 'eept one, an' that one, I guess, was the last one he ever laid off to plant." "Jim caught it that time himself, eh?" I suggested. ,• "No, he didn't, "the landlord replied in a tone of slight disgust. "Narry time, sir. Jim wasn't tiie man to be planted premachooriy, sa' the feller that could uap 'im never lived." "How did it happen that ha didn't kill the man you speak of, then?" I asked. "Well, dr, it was a quaire piece of business, that was, an' one o' the most techin' things I ever see. I never knowed a feller so broke up in all my life aa Jim wat, an', sir, it was nobody but a little gal that dona it—a little bito'shaver, 'bout six or seven years old, I reckon, an' the poorest peekedest little thing I ever set eyes on. " Waut to hear 'bout it, eh? Wai, the way of it was thia: "You see 'bout tha time Oklahoma was opened for settlement, Big Jim, an' me, an' four other fellers was herdin' on a range in western Texas. We'd bean up in the territory herdin' a right smart, but the soldiers drove ua out with tha rest of ths cattle fellers, you know, and so we laid down aa the border sorter waitin' for developments. "While ws wat in the territory wa picked out a valley what had 'bout 8,000 acres o' the best land an' richest grass I ever aee any wher, an' we 'lowed as soon as the country waa open far settlement we'd come back and take possession of it an' make a ranch thar la spite o' all era* a tion. "Wai, by an' by the President issued his proclamation, an' then When the da/ fer enterin' tte territory come 'round we moved ia with our cattle aq' took possession of the valley. "'Kow,'said 1 that night aa we squatted 'bout our campfire, 'if none tf those blamed settlers don't come foolin' 'round yere to take up claims ia this valley we're fixed, for this 'U make one 'o tlie nicest little ranches in the country.' "'Wai,' said Big Jim with an oath, 'if any settler wants to take a olaim yere, au thinks he can, jis' let him toy it. I' low he'll find out mouty blamed soon that he's undertook a most miserable unhealthy job, Tliis valley's ours an' we're goin' to hold it spite o' the dickens; an' I can tell yoa right now, fellers, that I'll shoot the first chap what offers to stop here. I'll make sich a example of him that ther won't another settler come in 40 mile of us.' "Wai, we was purty well tired out so we turned in quick as supper was over, an' we slept like logs till mornin'. When we woke the sun was up, an' the fust thing we see when we glanced 'cross the valley was a old covered wagon not mor'n a quarter of a mile away. The wagon had oome in, I reckon, jis'after we went to sleep, an' the folks had put up a tent like as if they was fixin' to stay, Big Jim he took a squint at the outfit, then he tore loose an' swore fit to set a woods afire. Then he got his pistols, an when somebody axed What he was goin' to do, he said: "'I'm goin' over thar an' wipe that derned settler out. I'm goin' to shoot him so full tf lead that he'll weigh a ton. FU break up this squatter business right on the start.' "I knowed Big Jim meant what he said an' I Mt kind o'sorry for the settler' but I didn't lay nothin*. Me and the other boys jest set down and watched Jim as he strided 'cross the prairie, an' waited to see what was goin' to happen. "When Jim got up sorter close to the wagon we see him draw his gun au' git ready to shoot, then we see him edge up a little closer kinder keerf ul like, then all to once we see him stop an' wait liko he was listen i n' at someth i n'. "Wai; I reckon most a half hour must a passed that .way, an' we got to wonder- in' what made Jim Stan' there actin' like that, when all to once he whirled 'round an' come back to wt lookin' the soberest an' solemnest I ever see a feller look in all my life. By gosh, stranger, you may not believe it, but I'd a most swear they was tears in old Jim's eyes, an' I know when he spoke to us his voice was all a tremble Uke his feelin's was too much for him. "It was a good bit before Jim said a word, an' aU the time he jest set thar on a inverted bucket nussin' his head in his hands, an' actin' like he was dreadful cut up. We stood 'round an' looked at him, a wonderin' what it meant, but after a while I ventured to speak to him, sayin': "'What's ailin' you, Jim?' "Then he raised his head sorter slow Uke, an' in a tone so sad and different from what his alius was that I didn't recognise it, he said: "'Boys, I'm jis' completely upsot by what I heard over thar, an' I feel so blame sneak in' mean that I've a great notion to shoot myself. I never knowed before how cussed onery I am.' "Course we was all s'prised at that sort o* talk from Jim, 'cause he was so blamed tough we didn't s'pose nothin' 'ud tech his heart, an' we waa anxious to know what he'd heard over to the wagon, an' so we axed him. "'Wai,' he said, 'I went over thar to shoot that settler, .in' I was slippin' up to the wagon to git the drap on him, when all at once I heard a voice—the meekest, pitifulest little voice I ever hear in my Ufa, aa' I knowed in a minute it was the voice of a leetle gal.' "Jim's voice choked up so he couldn't say nothin* more, so he wailed a moment, an' then he went on: "'Fellers,' he said, 'that voice jest went through me Uke a knife, an' I never fall so quar* since I waa bora. It was so weak, an' so pitiful, an' so helpless like. I heard it say: "'Is the land pretty, pa? Is it green with grass like the old home back east ?' " 'Yes, it is very beautiful, darling,' a man replied Uke he was cryin'. 'It's very pretty, an' you will find tha green prairie almost as nice as tha big meadow back at the old home. When you get well you can romp over the plain and gather flowers and be very happy." "'I ain't never goin' to be weU any more, pa,' the little voice said, and I won't never gather no flowers nor romp over the prarie; bnt I'm glad Wt pretty, 'cause when I'm in Heaven where the angels are, an' where everything is so beautiful and bright, I want, to know that you an' ma have a nice home like the old one we lost. I won't be with you very long now, pa, 'cause I can hear the angels singin', an' I know they're comin' to take me away. Don't cry, dear pa an' ma, 'cause I ain't sorry to go—only I don't like to leave you. I'm so glad you're goin' to have a beautiful homo where the grass an' the flowers grow; an' sometimes, maybe, I'U oome back to see you.' " Wai, big Jim, he told over all what the leetle gal said, an' I never see anybody what talked so gentle an' kind aa be did, "'Fellows,' he said in conclusion, 'I never felt so awful as I did while I was standin' there listenin' to them words o' that ohild. Peared like every one of 'em was a knife, an' that ahe was stabbin' 'em into my cussed, wicked heart; an' though thay hurt terrible I wanted 'em to stab deeper, 'cause I knowed I deserved it. Thar I was sneakin' ap thar like a law down onery thief, intendin' to shoot that feller te tryin' to git a home, while he was in thar nussin' his dy in' child an' her a talkin' 'bout the grass an' the flowers, aa' the old home back eaat, an* the angels an' Heaven. Boys, I'd a been glad if a streak o' lightnin' had struck me right then an' thar.' "Wai, air, we never heard nothin' more 'bout keepin' settlers off en the valley, an' we never triad to hold none of it 'cept what tha law 'titled us to hold. Big Jim an' all the rest of us helped the settlers ever* way we could, and when the angels came fer his leetle gal an' took hsr spirit away we made a grave on the prairie an' buried her whar the grass growed and whar Big Jim planted a tree an' some flowera I never see old Jim cry before, stranger, bnt he shed tears over that grave like the leetle gal was his own, and from that day he was a different man, an' as kind an' gentle as a woman. "— Thomas P. Montfort, Bill Snort's Letter. BY ALEX. K. SWEET. White Horsa. Nor. 23, 1891. To Major Dan Mc Gary, Houston, Ttm.: My Deab Major :—A little incident occurred in my family cir.le that goes to show that while Mrs. Snorl is as Caesar's wife should have been, "above suspicion," she also resembles Caesar, himself, for she is ambitious. In fact, like Sol Smith Russell's dog-faced boy who wanted to be the bearded woman in the show, she is too ambitious. I noticed that Minerva was not herself for several days. She seemed to have lost her appetite and to be out of sorts. At last I said to her, taking her on my knee and encircling her sylphlike waist with my stalwart arm: "What's the matter with Snorty's little Birdie ? Has Mrs. Harrison been trying to hurt-Birdie's feelings again. " she merely shook her dangling curls. "Does Birdie hanker after the bean pots of Boston ? Does she want to go oack to Busting to visit cousins Amiii- adab, Priscilla, Obadiah, Ananias, Sapphlra, Nicodemus, Ichabod, and the rest of them." No, she didn't want to see any of them. Her "Snorty" was all the company she wanted. Tin n I suggested malaria, caused by the miasmatic vapors of the Potomac flats, but it was not that; it was ambition. She wants me to be the next President of the United States. She is not satisfied with my being the next Vice-President on the Harrison ticket. I expressed a foreboding that the people of this country were not ripe for such a President as I would make; thnt I was too far in advance of the a1, e to b *■ acceptable to the masses, or rather ''them asses," who elect such Presidents as Hayes and Harrison. I shall not yield tr, popular clamor and become President of he United States, not even to accommodate Minerva, who will have to be satisfied with the Vice- Presidential coronet. At the same time I expect to have considerable trouble in preventing the vox populi forcing the Presidential diadem upon my noble brow, tor honors by the bushel are being showered upon Col. Snort and his blushing young Boston bride, the belle of the Wnite House. Minerva is not only, in the language of poesy, a may flower, a bashful morning glory, a night bio lining eereus, the daisiest of daisies, .he is in herself a whole botanical garden. Moreover, she has been officially notified that the New York flower show has named a new brand of blonde cllrysarit einum as big as a soup plate niter her* Wonder how Caroline Scott Harrison feels now ? Mrs. President Harrison smole a sickly smile when she heard of the new honor bestowed on Minerva Beacohhill Snort. The following is a copy of the letter conferring the floral honor on the only real Pirst Lady of the Land, with the Boston label blown ih the bottle. Beware of Indiana imitations! New York, Nov. 6th, 1891. ToCoi». Bu.]. Snout, > Executive Mansion, Washington.. : Dear Bib :—As you are probably aware, the lady managers of trie great New York Clm sau th. mum Show nave attaohed to different varieties of the peerless autumn flower the names of some of the most beautiful and distinguished ladies of the land. The specimens which attract muoh admiration are the Mme. Drexel, a beautiful magenta-like flower; tbe Tokio. a large, full, fluffy specimen of which bears the name of Miss Minnie Wanamaker; a snowy bloom christened Mrs. Langtry; the Magicienne, a beautiful specimen, large and rich of coloring, with pale butT petals deepening into a glow of ' he richest dull red ; and a blissoiii of dark red named' tne Carnegie, and a flower with gold petals named the Sara'i Bernhardt. Appreciating the beauty and intelligence of the fair young bride which you have introduced into the Wbite House, and being personal admirers of the great journalist and statesman. Col. Bill Snort, with the kind permission of yourself and Mrs. Snort, we desire to attach to a queer specimen of a spikelike flower, of a salmon pink color, trained like an umbrella tree over a spreading lattice, and forming itself into a glowing splendor of bloom, toe beautiful and poetic name of Snortiaua. As you are probably aware, we have also baptized a new blossom with white, pink and crimson petals the Ruth Cleveland, whose father's name, like your own, hav been mentioned in connection with the Presidency. May we, ladies of the New York Chrysanthemum Show, hope that at our next annual exhibit we may have the opportunity of conferring a like honor on the prospective member of your illustrious family, if it should prove to be a girl. Have you selected a name for it as yet. Last Man ageks Chrysanthemum Show. To this I have replied as foUows: Executive Mansion, Nov. 10, 1891. Mt dear Ladies:—In behalf oil Mrs. Snort and myself, and alio in behalf of that prospective heir in the Snort family to which you so touchingly allude, I desire to express our hearty appreciation of your Kindness, and to state in answer to your last inquiry and to innumerable inquiries from all parts ot the country, that as yet Mrs. Snort and myself have not selected a name for the future infant. < Yours truly, Bill Snort. It takes Harrison longer to see anything than any President, we have had. The day after the election I went into his office and found lr m in high spirits. He was rejoicing over the election of McKinley in Ohio. He said: "By Jove, Col. Snort, this is glorious news. We will have to celebrate this with a little of that barrel of old Scotch whisky Andy Carnegie sent me from Scotland, and which us only to be used on great .occasions Uke this. Lige, go down in the cellar and bring up some ofthe 'O, be joyful P" After we had disposed of a bottle or so I began to feel the effects tonic. "Harrison, schuse me, but 3 fool." said I. "Whazzd am I a fool' of tha matter, Schnort. Why Shay! replied Hai rison. who was worse off than I was, tie'eause he was never a member of th. Texas "Poker" Legislature. Besides that Scotch whisky is the stronges.. stuff ever I tasted. However, I maii'agei to reply: '"The matter ish. Mishter Preshid. nt, that while 'publican party ish all rite, thisli adminishtiashun ish scoopedi You don't know it, but lemme t_!l you your headsh ish off. Our chances for a sheckond term are blacker inshide of box blacking." "How sho, Schnort, how sho'." asked Harrison, taking another snifter. "Mishter Preshident," said T. holding up a oopy of the Wasi»iu.;ioa Chronicle, "here ish a teller who hash the whole thing in nutshell, shee? Read the beadliush " HARRISON SHELVED! The People did it last Tuksdat. For President, 1892, William MCKinley. McKindey the Coming Max ! "Itsh lie. Don't care who shays sho. Harrison's coming man. Hurrah for Harrison and Schnort i." said Harrison. I read the rest of the article out loud after a fashion. It ran as follows: Harrison's bright prospects. The series of facts are self-evident. Gen Harrison was eliminated from the 1892 race >iy the results last Tuesday in New York, Massachusetts and Iowa. Mr. Blaine shares to a degree tha shelving of the Harrison Administration, and his disgruntled attitude toward the McKinley tariff bill, practically eliminates him also from the 1892 race. The McKinley tariff is the winning platform te the Republicans to stand on in 1992. The oandidate of the Chronicle for. President of these United States lor 1892,is HON. WILLIAM McKINLEY OF OHIO. Hurrah for the 'winning Buckeve Boy for 1892. Yours for reform, Bill Snort. The Olrt Santa Fe Trail. Thirty-five years after Columbus discovered this Continent Alva Nunez Cab- eza de Vaca sailed from Spain and landed in Florida, or in the region now called by that name. From there he made a wonderful overland journey to the City of Mexico. On that journey a part of tha way he trav ersed a route which over si nee has found great favor with travelers to New Mexioo. Just think of itl There is a road 800 miles long, rising so imperceptibly for over 600 miles of the distance as to seem absolutely level, and without g single bridge from end to end I What wonderful tales that road could tell—of the bearded followers of de Vaca, thin and worn by privation and the fatigue of their long journey through a wilderness until then pathless—of the after settlement of the neighborhood by the Spaniards—of the coming of the hardy American pioneer, traders, soldiers, settlers, and last, but most important of all. tha 'railroad engineers. Many an exploit of soldiers, scout, and Indian warrior has that anoient trail witnessed, Phil Kearney knew it well, te had he not fought over nearly its entire length? Kit Carson achieved much of his fame in its vicinity, and in the early fifties F. X Aubrey, a young man, made a famous ride against time over the same route, from Santa Fe to Independence, Mo.— Pittsburg Dispatch. Trair Resigned. There waa once a certain old lady whose son, late in life, married against her wishes. The wife was everything that could be desired, and yet the old lady had ndt intended her middle aged-, "boy" to marry at all, and loud were her complaints thereat. Finally the minister called to ossay consolation and remind, her that it was hardly best tomakethe- neighbors the confidants of her woes. " I am sure Huldah will prove a dutiful daughter to you," said he. She'll do as well as she oan," grumbled the old lady, "but her best'11 be bad enough. * "Well, you know the deed is done. now, and nothing you can say will prevent it." "I know it. If he had only heard tome in the flrst place, it never would have happened." "But, my dear madam, this is not making tiie best of things." "There ain't any best to some things!" snapped she. "If you oouid only be resigned " "Resigned? Pm always resigned whea things go as I want them tol" Evidently there was no more to bo _aid. The best way to live is to cast away troubles and contentions, which can not be cured by fretting. A panther escaped from his cage ia Grand museum at Boston and attacked and terribly lacerated an elephant. A large deposit of vanadium, a metal worth $1,500 an ounce, was discovered in Mondova, Argentine Republic. Professor Alfredo Barili, a musician and a nepbew of Patti, ■ deserted his wife and children in Atlanta, Ga. * It was reported in Washington that Italy intended to establish friendly relations with the United States. |
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