Lititz Record

              SATES OF ADVERTISING IN TBE BECORD
1 in n - 3 in. Ji c. M C. 1 col
1 week 50 90 1 25 2 25 4 00 7 50
a weeks.....:.... 75 1.85 1 90 » 25 5 75 10 00
8 weeks.. 1 00 1 75 2 •so 4 25 7 50 12 50
1-month........ ..... 1 25 215 » 00 5 25 9 25 15 00
¡fmonths a (to » 25 4 50 7 50 IS 25 «S (X)
3 months 2 50 4 25 « 00 9 75 17 00 Hl (XI
0months 3 50 « 25 9 50 15 00 28 (10 54 00
1 year 5 (10 9 50 IS 75 26 00 50 .00 90 00
Yearly, advertisements to be paid quarter-ly.
Transient advertisements1 payable in
advance.
Advertisements, to insure immediate in-sertion,
must be handed in, at the very
latest, by Wednesday noon.
Job Work of all kinds neatly and prompt-ly
executed at short notice.
All communications should be addressed
to
RECORD OFFICE,
Lititz, Lane. Co., Pa.
An Independent Family Newspaper, Devoted to Literature, Agriculture, Local and General Intelligence.
Y O L . X X V I . L I T I T Z , P A . , F R I D A Y M O R N I N G , F E B R U A R Y 27, 1 9 0 3 . i \ 0 . 2 5 .
Published Ev«ry Friday Morning by
FRANK BUCH.
OFFICE—No. 9 S. Broad street, Lititz,
Lancaster County, Pa.
TEBMS OF StJBscBiPTioN.—For one
year fl.OO, if paid in adyance, and ?1.25
if payment be delayed to the end of year.
For s i x months, 50 cents, and for three
months, 30 cents, strictly in advance.
A failure to notify a discontinuance
at the end of the term subscribed for,
will be considered a wish to continue
the paper.
^ " A n y person sending us five new
cash subscribers for one year will be
entitled to the RECORD for one year, for
his trouble.
give you a faint
of the stock we
carry and shall en-deavor
to give you
some idea of what can
be bought at our store.
$4.00, to $23.00
$5.50 to $11.00
$3-50
Men's Suits as low.as
Men's Swagger Overcoats
Men's Reefers
Men's Working Coats $2.00
Men's Pants - - - . 90c to $3.50
Men's bestOveralls and Jumpers 50c
Men's good Working SHirts 50c
Men's Wool Shirts . $1.00
Men's Dress Shirts . 50c to $1.25
Boys'Suits from 1 s $2.00 and up
Boys'Good Overcoats . $2.00 to $4 50
Boys'Pants - - - 40c and up
Boys' and Men's Sweaters, Boys' Brownies and
Overalls, Hats and Caps, Suspenders, Collars
and Cuffs, Ties, Gloves, Garters, Half Hose, .
Umbrellas, Night Shirts, Pajamas.
f A large line of Underwear, the A
No. 1 fleece-lined at 45 cents, and
the best fitting White Shirt in the
ealted the
Broad Street Clothing loose.
Record Building, Lititz,
W. H. BUCH.
Are you one of the big crowd that's buying
SHOES at our G R E A T CLEARING SALE?
If not, why not? There's a lot of money-sav-ing
right in sight.1 Styles are handsomest-
Qualities the Best that's produced. Prices are
certainly the L O W E S T you have ever known,
and sizes, to fit everybody.
GHAS. H. FREY, Leader of L o w P r i c e s ,
3 and 5 E. King St., Lancaster.
1903.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o O
o
o
o
o
o
G
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
D o
o
D
D
o
o
SEE THE V A S T C O L L E C T I ON
SHOWN IN OUR WINDOWS, PRICES
$1.00 to $3.00.
H. L. B O H S ,
o 144 N. Queen St. Newt. Wingert, Mgr,
D o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
H i S T A N D S F O R HARDWARE
h a r d w a r e :
Our HARDWARE stand» for
HARD WEAR. Our line of
goods comprises not only-what
is necessary for t h e k i t c h e n b u t
we have t h e right prices on
Building Hardware, Glass,
Oils, &c.
THE VIRTUE OF WAITING.
Written for the Record.
All things will come to him who waits,
Tliat is a faithful' saying ;
As evory season illustrates,
Its store of fruit displaying.
"What is the use of all this haste?
Ot all this fuss and flurry ?
If it is true that haste makes waste,
Why do we race and hurry ?
To him who waits right patiently,
His soul with faith possessing,
In time, or in eternity,
Will come a priceless blessing.
Who plants a tree is bound to wait,
While it is firmly rooting,
Before he e'en may calculate
: To taste its luscious fruiting.
Who sows his seed should know that dew
And sun and frost and showers
Are needed, each in season, too,
For grain as well as flowers.
The Christian soldier bids bis time
; In watchful, hopeful waiting,
With patience verily sublime'
His true faith illustrating.
1. R.
L I T I T Z , P A ,
JU L Y ALMOST over before it oc-cured
to her t h a t at present there
had been 110 summer at all worthy
of the name, a n d t h a t , if t h e r e was
any idea among t h e powers of t h e a ir
of having one, it was t i m e to set about
it. So one morning she sent a note to
t h e said powers, saying that no doubt
it had escaped their memory that She
would be off in exactly four days, and
would be disgraced for ever in t h e me-terological
records unless t h e y did some-t
h i n g for her. She reminded them also
t h a t it was really time to leave London
and to get i n to the country both for
t h e good of their bodies and souls,
and t h a t the most effectual way of pro-moting
their exit was to send a f ew
really hot days. Finally, in a post-script,
she said that owing to t h e in-clemency
of the weather the young
people generally had h a d none of t he
good, old-fashioned love-making in
gardens a n d lanes, a n d s h e would like
to see a little of i t before she went.
The powers of t h e a i r s aw t h e reason-ableness
of all this, put t h e cork into
the big bottle which holds the north
wind, telegraphed to t h e celestial chair-woman
to sweep all t h e clouds away
for the present into the corner, where
she could use then! for thunderstorm,
say in a week's time, and gave orders
t h a t t h e s u n should be cleaned up at
once and turned on full. So July
thanked them, took off her h a t , for t he
southerly breeze was pleasant in t he
shade, and sat down to watch what
would happen. Her seat was among
t h e heather a n d pine woods of t h e Sus-sex
World, where pleasant houses nestle
on t h e hillsides, a n d f r om the gardens
one m a y step straight on to t h e heath-ery
ridges of Asbdown forest, where,
miugled w i t h t h e purple, lie patches of
gotre, like patches of sunlight, and to
t h e south rises the long line of t he
towns.
I t was about 3 o'clock of a broiling
afternoon, a n d two young men were ly-i
n g on t h e grass, beneath the shade of
t h e shrubbery that bounded t h e lawn.
Two golf bags were cast on the grass
beside them, and beyond the line of
shadow lay t h e croquet ground, on a
piece of perfect turf, set cut in n o h a p -
hazard fashion, but w i t h absolute pre-cision
of line, while the hoops them-selves
were of ¡paralyzing narrowness.
Beyond again was a t e n n i s court of t h e
same business-like aspect, while t he
lines of physical fitness in t h e lounging
figures and t h e clear, sun-burned faces
would seem to; indicate a similar; prob-able
precision in their performances.
One h a d in f r o n t of h im a small piece of
paper on which he h a d j o t t ed clown a
word or two, a n d for t h e moment there
[was silence.
' "That's settled t h e n , " he said, " a nd
¿you, Margery a n d I begin with a three-isome
a t golf to-morrow. We'll start at
10, a n d shall h a v e finished at 12. Pea-rifle
till lunch. After lunch, croquet,
10 minutes limit, then tennis. Golly,
how hot we shall be. And w h a t ' s t he
fifth event, Dick?"
Dick sat up.
I promised Margery she should settle
t h e fifth event," he said. " I expect
she'll say p u t t i n g on t h e lawn, iti which
case, you a n d I , my poor man, will
t a k e exceedingly back seats. I don't
t h i n k p u t t i n g is a fair event. Margery
knows t h e l a w n . However, she ought
to be p r e t t y tired by t h e n . Jack, w hy
is she such a n infernally good putter?"
J a c k laughed .
" T h e Lord knows. So do I , really.
She t h i n k s t h e y are a l l going down. So
most of t h em do."
"Well, I t h i n k that. Only most of
t h em d o n ' t ."
" When does she come?"asded Jack.
" D i n n e r . t r a i n . We m i g h t ride over
to t h e station and'meet her. And t h is
'evening i t will be j u s t you a n d s h e a nd
I . Mother c a n ' t come till to-morrow."
J a c k sat up.
"Oh, I say, is t h a t all right, do you
t h i n k ? " he asked. " I mean ought we
to get some sort of silly chaperon?"
Dick started.
" W h y on e a r t h ? " he asked. "Mar-gery
knows we shall be alone; in fact
she pursuaded my mother not to come
down till to-morrow, for that very
reason. That's t h e best of Margery;
she has no siily little ideas of t h a t kind.
Besides I 'm h e r second cousin.
J a c k was silent a moment.
MOh, if Margery knows, of course i t 's
all r i g h t , " he said. " I only thought it
wouldn't do to spring it on her. You
see you are a n eligible young man
Dick, and she's an eligible young wo-man,
and I'm—well I ' m t h e t h i r d in
t h e alliance of l a u g h t e r ."
The second ally l ay back again 011 t he
grass.
" S t u f f y , pokey, dark, hot, stupid,
fussy, smelly L o n d o n , " he said, with a
pause for thought between each epithet.
" W h y in t h e n a m e of all t h a t ' s nice do
people go there? I went to a dance last
night, Jack, at least it was a dance
was asked to. Dance! There was
room about as big as t h e d i n i n g room
h e r e w i t h 200 people in it. The stairs
were blocked, t h e passage was blocked,
t h e ball room was blocked, the square
o u t s i d e w a s blocked, t h e candles bent
over a n d showered grease on you, a nd
everyone was going on somewhere else
afterward. To-night we'll dance on
t h e lawn among the croquet hoops.
At least Margy and I will dance, a nd
you'll sit a m o n g t h e wall-flowers."
"Very amusing," .«aid J a c k . ''But I
went one worse. I went to a c r u s h -
took my sister there—it was a crush
T h a t ' s all. Oh, it's good here. A
whole week, with nothing whatever to
do. The alliance of laughter hasn't
met since before South Africa, at least
not-properly, all by themselves. I say,
Dick, someone asked me t h e other day
if I was engaged to Margy.;. I j u s t star-ed
in t h e m a n ' s face. Then I laughed.
Then we both laughed together. Hullo,
I heard wheels. Who can i t be?"
Dick sat u p g e n t ly with a face of a p -
prehensive dismay.
" H u s h , " he said, " I t must be a caller.
We'll get into t h e s h r u b b e r y ."
With infinite precaution t h e t wo stole
among the trees till they were out of
sight, a n d awaited the outcome of this
portentous event. But they were
scarcely hidden when their names were
loudly called, and, through the open
French window of t h e drawing room a
girl came quickly out.
"Dick—Jack," she cried. "Whereâre
you both?"
The shrubs quickly divided them-selves,
a n d t h e t wo rushed out.
"Oh, how nice!" cried Margery.
"Dear Dick, you a r e ruddier than the
cherry, a n d J a c k , your nose is peeling.
Yes i t ' s mo. ¡1 caught an earlier train,;
I s n ' t it too heavenly? And I borrowed
a sovereign of t h e station master at
Charing Cross, because I h a d n ' t a pen-ny,
a n d I shall certainly forget to p ay
h im back. Are station masters rich? I
t h i n k t h e y must be. And t h e y are all
furious' w i t h me at home, because
t h e r e ' s a dinner party to-night and I
wouldn't stop, a n d mother said it was
most improper my coming down here
alone, so I said, 'Nonsense, you old
darling,' a n d left i t to s i nk in. Oh, oh,
how nice i t is to be here, you old angels.
And I must take m y h a t off a t once."
She unpinned her.hat a n d dropped it
on the grass, took u p a golf club and
a bundle of something—the Lord knows
what—wrapped in newspapers.
"Dick, that angel-mothér of yours
i s n ' t coming down till t h e d a y a f t e r to-morrow,"
she said. " S h e really is a
very nice woman, I told her so, a nd
s a i d ' I loved her very much—but I lov-ed
you more. Upon which she sug-gested
t h a t she would be de trop here,
and I told her she h a d a very keen
grasp of t h é obvious. So she's not com-i
n g down till Saturday, but she must
then, as s h e has some other people."
" D i d n ' t you suggest she should put
t h em o f f ? " asked Dick.
"Yes, but s h e wouldn't. I thought
t h a t was j u s t a shade selfish of her, par-ticularly
as J a c k was here too, a n d h e
doesn't like people. You m a k e a mis-take
there, Jack, people are very nice."
" I know—charming. Why d i d n 't
you get someone else to come down
with you?"
" Because it wasn't m y house. Any-how,
people are coming on Saturday,
so we must make t h e best of t h e next
two d a y s ."
So t h e alliance met, a,nd worthily ful-filled
its office. The t h r e e had known
¡each other for years, for Margery had
been brought up, while her parents
were in I n d i a , a t t h e house of h e r cous-in
Dick Taylor, while t h e home of t h e
t h i r d ally, J a c k Arkwright, liad, till a
couple of years ago, lain on t h e other,
side of t h e boundary fence behind t he
shrubbery of thé garden where the
three now walked. But t w o years ago
t h e place h a d been sold on his father's
death, a n d t h e t e r r i t o ry of t h e alliance
had been narrowed. Thus from t he
days of school where t h e boys h a d been
together first at E t o n , then at Sand-hurst,
r e t u r n i n g for t h e holidays to find
Margery waiting eagerly for t h e games
and laughter which filled t h e days, t he
three h a d grown up equal in age, a n d
comrades together without a break.
Till then, a t a n y rate, all h a d retained
to a somewhat unusual extent t h e ab-solute
insouciance of childhood, t a k i ng
each d a y e x a c t ly as i t came, u t t e r ly ig-.
norant of t h e deeper and tenderer
needs which come soon or late to all
men a n d women. Two hours h a d been
t a k e n u p w i t h games, a n d for years t he
two boys, whenever they met, had a r -
ranged some series of sports against
each other. Into these Margery, with
;due allowance for h e r sex, h a d a t first
been grudgingly admitted, for t h e male
animal feels, naturally, a h e a l t h y con-tempt
for t h e a t h l e t i c possibilities of t he
female, but soon her matchless enthu-siasm
won respect, and now, a t their
first intimate meeting after the t wo
years of separation, a program for t he
next day h a d been at once arranged.
The united ages of t h e three, i t m a y be
added, were a t t h e present time 64 years,
of which the boys owned 22 each, t he
girl t h e remainder.
Next morning accordingly t h e three
started off early for t h e links. The
powers of t h e air were royally fulfilling
their bargain with July, a n d i t would
seem as if t h e malignance t h a t is wont
to l u r k in inanimate objects such as
golf balls lay for t h e time asleep, a nd
t h e match grew in excitement and
abated not in merriment as i t advanc-;
ed. The t w o men played level against
each other, a n d gave Margery a half,
a n d they reached t h e eighteenth green
without a n y of t h e matches being y e t
decided. Then came a moment.
The balls of t h e two, J a c k a n d Dick,
lay within-about a y a r d of t h e hole a nd
Margery had a ten-yard put to wiu t he
match from each. She looked a t i t for
some time, s t a n d i n g with her back to
the sun, so t h a t the outliers of her
brown hair were flushed and guilded
with it, a n d her eyes, very blue a nd
vivid with thought, were i n t e n t on t he
line to t h e hole. Her m o u t h was a lit-tle
drooped a n d t h e white line of her
teeth showed below her lip. Suddenly
she said :
"Yes, I see," a n d putted.
The ball traveled smoothly over t he
close-mown turf, and she t h r ew her
arms wide.
I t is going i n ! " s h e cried, " W h a t a
darling !" a n d a s t h e ball dropped into
t h e hole she looked up a t J a c k . Then
something caught in his breath, a n d it
was no longer t h e Margery t h a t he h ad
known so long who stood there, but
She. She who was completeness a nd
perfection. Woman to h im t h e Man.
Thus she won f r om t h em both, then
Dick putted and holed out, a n d in t u rn
J a c k putted, missed i t a n d lost to both.
" J a c k , you're too careless for words,"
said she. "You've lost to us both.
And I ' v e won from you both. How
heavenly. I love winning. Now i t 's
pea-rifle, i s n ' t i t ? "
But the discovery that Jack had
made did not break up or in a n y way
impair the alliance of laughter, for
love takes every man according to h is
nature, a n d t h a t which h e h a d discover-ed
but vivified a n d made more intense
his part in t h e companionship which
he had always enjoyed, but now
ranked higher t h a n the pleasures of a
king. Soon, 110 doubt, would come t he
questionings a n d yearnings, t h e dumb
desire to speak,, t h e myriad heartburn-ings
a n d fears, but a s y e t a n d for a f ew
more days e v e r y t h i n g was shot to h im
with more brilliant color, a n d h i s h e a rt
sang to h i m . Then on t h e f o u r th d ay
Margery Was suddenly called to L o n -
don for t h e day, a n d on t h e i n s t a n t of
her departure the troubles of love
awoke in him.
The day was unreasonably hot, a nd
promised t h u n d e r ; a leaden sky brood-ed
low, a n d t h e sunless air was of an
intolerable heaviness. But 011 Dick,
who for t h e most part was liable to t h e
disturbances of t h e heavens, this great
heaviness seemed not t o weigh at a l l.
At lunch, after Margery's departure a nd
t h e departure of those guests who had
come down for t h e Sunday, he talked
with t h e most surprising extravagance.
Afterward h e a n d J a c k went out on
to t h e open heath, for t h e garden, shut
in by trees, was stagnant a n d oppress-ive
to catch what breeze t h e r e might be.
Dick threw himself down on t he
heather.
W h e w ! It is h o t ! " h e said. " r
pity Margery in London. Why even
here— "
Then suddenly he stopped, and,
plucking a handful of grass stalks, be-gan
to clean out t h e s t em of his pipe
with curious solicitude. Jack, l y i n g by
h im smoked steadily, a n d a n unusual
silence fell.
J a c k did n o t a sk h im what he had
to say about " even here," and his
thoughts were busy at Charing Cross
station, where Margery probably was
at this moment, for her train back
s t a r t ed in five minutes.
Then Dick t h r ew away t h e last of his
pipe-cleaners a n d s a t up.
, " L o o k here," he said, " I ' v e some-t
h i n g to tell you. There's no doubt
about it. I've fallen in love."
J a c k ' s mouth was, as h e spoke, puck-ered
u p to blow tobacco smoke over an
ant that was coming closer than he :
wished, but a t these words i t slackened
again, a n d t h e smoke was spilt aimless-ly
i n t o t h e hot air.
Yes—Margery, of course," contin-ued
t h e other. " My God !"
He paused a moment and looked at
J a c k . .
W h a t ' s the m a t t e r ? " lie asked,
with a sudden sharp anxiety in his
voice. " You look queer somehow."
Dick, are you sure?" asked the
other.
'i Sure you look queer ?"
" No, Sure t h a t you are in love with
Margery?"
" Sure? You'll be sure enough when
a n y t h i n g of t h e sort happens to y o u .
I t ' s queer how long t h a t ' s been coming
to either of us, Jack. Other fellows
catch it earlier, but we've fooled along
h i t h e r t o without. But w h e n it comes
there's no mistake about it. Why,
Margery is just the whole point of
everything now."
J a c k rolled over in t h e heather, a nd
let his a rm lie across h i s eyes.
" She has been t h a t to m e , " h e said,
" f o r t h e last four days. We're in t he
same boat, Dick."
This time it was Dick who paused.
" God forgive us all !" h e said.
Then he got u p quickly.
"Come away," he said. " I don't
like this placé. I t ' s stifling h e r e ."
He held out his h a n d to help Jack
up, a n d kept i t in h i s for a moment.
" I say, J a c k , " h e said, " W h a t e v er
happens, we'll behave decently, won't
we?" " r /
" W e ' l l have a shot, too," said he,
" A n d what now?"
"Time to go to meet Margery. We'll
t a lk it over to-night. Let i t simmer a
bit first—we're—we're in a queer place,
you know."
So they rode through the reeling
heat to t h e station, found t h e t r a i n al-ready
in, a n d Margery on t h e p l a t f o rm
looking f o r all t h e oppression of t h e d a y
like a n y m p h of Grecian waterways.
Tho eyes of t h e t w o dwelt t h i r s t i ly on
her, but they avoided meeting each
other's glances,.for love was in t h e bal
ance, a n d t h e y both were friends.
That evening, when t h e rest h a d gone
to bed, t h e two went u p to D i c k ' s room
and sat long by t h e open window,
speaking in short sentences and with
l o n g pauses. A great bank of cloud
had risen in t h e west, a n d f r om time to
time t h e fires of l i g h t e n i n g flickered in
it, a n d a drone of distant thunder an-swered.
Before long t h e y had to shut
t h e window, for t h e s t o rm burst over-head
in appalling riot and slanting
lines of tepid rain, aud a t t h e end t he
moon came out in a clear heaven, with
t h e stars clustering around her, while
to t h e east t h e s k y g r ew dove-colored
with t h e earliest h i n t of dawn.
At last J a c k rose.
" I t remains then just to toss," said
he, a n d spun a coin.
" H e a d s , " said Didk.
" Heads it is. You speak to Margery
first."
Dick got u p too, irresolute, a n d they,
quietly looked at each other gravely,
rivals in t h a t which makes life sweet,
but friends. And that makes life
sweet also.
" And whatever happens, J a c k , " said
he, " we promise to d o our best not to
let—not to l e t it spoil all t h a t has been,
and all t h a t may y e t be. Anyhow, it
m u s t n ' t get between u s ."
J a c k nodded.
" Yes. Time to go to bed, Dick ;
nearly time to get u p too. For God's
sake let i t be soon."
Dick's face l i t u p with the unimagi-nable
light of love.
"Yes, to-morrow, to-day," he said.
So t h e days of child play were over
for t h e alliance of laughter, for out of
laughter had been borne love.
The morning was still young and
dewy when Dick went out into the
garden and Margery was already there.
Soon he returned, a n d went straight to
J a c k ' s room, who was still not fully
dressed, a n d a s h e looked u p h e knew.
" So i t is you, he said, a n d stopped—
then t h e friendship of years strength-ened
him. " O h , make her happy,
D i c k , " h e said.
Old Missouri Laws.
One of t h e odd things in t h e o ld laws
was t h a t f r e q u e n t l y permits were grant-ed
to persons to peddle without license
provided they were not to peddle
clocks. A stranger might wonder Why
clocks were so specifically barred. For
example, in 1839, Archibold Warsham,
of P i k e county was g r a n t e d a permit to
peddle without paying a license pro-vided
he m u s t ' n o t sell clocks or spirit-uous
liquors. The act recited t h a t t he
permit was granted because he h ad
only one leg.
The cause for exepting clocks from
t h e things to be peddled was not un-reasonable.
Somewhere between 1830
and 1835 a Yankee came along with a
cargo of clocks. He a n d others of his
kind set out to peddle. They were
big clocks of t h e old p a t t e r n , some of
t h em six feet high. The settlers along
t h e river bough t h em gladly, a n d paid
liberal prices for them. The clocks
looked good a n d would run, but about
the second day a f t e r t h e purchase t he
farmer would discover that his clock
was not nearly so safe a recorded of
time as t h e s h a d ow of t h e big house on
t h e ground. Consequently, wherever
those Yankees went they filled their
pockets with gold, but l e f t behind t h em
Missourians who cursed both the
Yankees a u d t h e clocks.
Long Nose, Warranted.
Deacon Reice, of Hartford, Conn.,
was well known as being provided
with a n enormous handle to his coun-tenance
in t h e shape of a h u g e nose ; in
fact, i t was remarkable for i t s length.
On one occasion, when t a k i n g u p a col-lection
in t h e c h u r c h to which he be-longed,
every person to w h om he pre-sented
t h e box seemed t o be possessed
of a sudden and uncontrollable desire
to laugh. The deacon did not know
what to make of it. He h a d often
passed it around before, b u t no s u c h ef-fects
had he witnessed. The secret,
however, leaked out. He h a d been af-flicted
a day or two with a sore on his
nasal appendage, and had placed a
small sticking plaster over i t.
During the m o r n i n g of t h e day in
question t h e plaster had dropped off,
and t h e deacon, seeing it, as he sup-posed,
l y i n g on t h e floor, picked it up
and stuck it on again. But, alas ! he
picked up instead one of t h e pieces of
paper which -the manufacturers of
spool cotton paste on the: e n d of every
spool, a n d which read: "Warranted,
200 y a r d s ."
Not "Equally Good."
His attention had been called to
Brewers' Readers' Handbook as a com-prehensive
book of reference, and it
was with t h e i n t e n t i o n of buying this
compendium t h a t a well-known citizen
of Philadelphia went into a store t he
other day and began rummaging
among t h e books. Not finding it, h e
turned to t h e clerk, a young and inex-perienced
fellow, a n d i n q u i r ed :
" H a v e you a Brewers' Handbook !"
The latter fumbled nervously around
for a while, and, t h e n , producing a
small volume, s a i d:
" We d o n ' t have a n y book of t h at
title, but 1 h a v e one here t h a t may be
of equal service to you. It is t h e 'Bar-t
e n d e r s ' G u i d e . ' "
Crows Attack Living Horses.
Crows to t h e estimated number of
5000 a r e swarming on a mountain above
Gulf Summit, feeding on the barn
yards in the vicinity in t h e daytime
and collecting a t night in t h e trees on
top of t h e mountain, says t h e Susque-hanna,
Pa., correspondent of t h e N ew
York World.
About dusk these birds gather in
from the surrounding country in
myriads, and t h e noise they make by
their shrill " C a w ! c a w ! " is almost
deafening. Frequently they alight in
such vast numbers on t h e trees that
large limbs are broken under their
weight.
A few days ago a black cloud of these
birds were crossing the E r i e Railroad
tracks when t h e smoke of a passing en
gine blinded them. They flew against
t h e sides of t h e swiftly moving cars,
and persons who watched the strange
sight counted nearly 200 crows that
had met death.
A p a r t y of six deposit hunters armed
themselves with shotguns a few days
since and visited the roost with t he
avowed intention of ridding it of t he
s h i n y black pests. They killed 175
birds in six hours, but a t t h e end of t h at
time the diminution of t h e birds was
not noticeable, a n d t h e h u n t e r s retired
f r om t h e mountain.
I n t h e l a t e blizzard t h e birds; mad-dened
by hunger, attacked cattle in t he
barn yards, a n d were driven away with
difficulty. The horse of a peddler from
Honesdale was attacked on the high-way
near t h e s t a t e line, and t h e ped-dler
saved his steed by furious driving,
and by throwing a bundle of sheep-skins
from his sleigh to appease the
hunger of t h e black horde.
Reserve Something.
I t is a measure of prudence which
ought to commend itself to the judg-ment
of everybody, that when aged
people t h i n k of bestowing their prop-e
r ty on their children, or in default of
childrep, on relatives or even strangers,
they should consider well a l l possible
contingencies, and that at the very
least they should reserve enough
means to insure themselves an inde-pendent
livelihood to t h e e n d of their
days. We k n ow of a great many old
people who were persuaded to give up
all of their property before they died,
and lived to repent bitterly of their
folly in placing confidence in t h e as-surance
of over-greedy persons. Just
consider t h e m a t t e r a little bit. I t is
not hard to understand that people
who cannot wait for old people to die
before they must begin scheming for
t h e possession of their property, will
have little consideration for a pauper.
I t is their desire to get t h e property
t h a t gives t h em oily tongues to plead
with. Let old people beware of all
such. They have the crocodile heart.
All that we urge is t h a t old people
shall not give u p everything—that they
shall reserve something for themselves.
Those who really love t h em Will not
t h i n k t h e less of t h em if t h e y do t h a t.
Besides, if t h e y reserve something, even
those who keep u p t h e pretense of car-ing
for t h em because of their property,
will still have a motive to t r e a t t h em
with a show of kindness. Help your
children along by giving them abun-d
a n t l y of your superfluous means, but
do not impoverish yourselves.
OVER THE STATE.
The Quaker City Cement Company,
composed mainly of P h i l a . capitalists,
purchased 600acres between E a s t o n a nd
Martin's Creek.
Rev. G. G. Grenawald, pastor of t h e
new Reformed church at Sellersville,
has resigned a n d accepted a call to t h e
Millersburg church.
Edward C. Shannon was re-elected
captain of Company C. 4th Regiment,
at Lancaster, Colonel C. T. O'Neill, of
Allentown, conducting the election.
Captain Shannon commanded t h e com-pany
in t h e Spanish-Amerii a n war.
Though his a rm was t o rn from t he
socket, Allen Booze, of Norrlstown,
waited without a murmur for nearly an
hour for t h e arrival of an ambulance to
take h im to t h e hospital. His a rm was
caught in t h e machinery a t Lee's mill,
Bridgeport.
Lewis Mittman, a butcher, of Sieg-fried's,
came to Allentown with $2,500,
to pay some bills, a n d fell in with a
woman who, he alleges, relieved h im of
700. Mittman discovered his loss
soon after a n d notified t h e local police,
who recovered t h e money a n d took t he
woman to jail.
Thieves got away with several h u n -
dred feet of I n t e r s t a t e telephone wire,
near Hatboro.
Vulgarity.
What is vulgarity? We t h i n k a
great deal depends on t h e point of view.
Of late, it seems, there a r e many people
America and elsewhere, who a re
ready to a f f i rm t h a t vulgarity is a char-acteristic
of multimillionaires a n d other
very rich people. The multimillion-aire
a n d t h e rest might retort by saying
t h a t vulgarity is s t r i k i n g ly exemplified
by those very people who give them-selves
so m u c h needless concern about
t h e rich. To j u d g e between the two
classes with exact justice would be no
easy matter. Perhaps t h e meddler is
t h e most vulgar of all people. If he
does not r a n k foremost, he is certainly
among t h e foremost. I n t h e harsh criti-cisms
pronounced on t h e conduct of t he
extremely rich, there is o f t en found t he
bitterness of envy ; a n d when that is
the case t h e critic appears in a pitiful
light. . E n v y itself is such a vulgar
failing, that the poor person who
envies t h e rich is to be pitied indeed.
Are t h e rich vulgar? It may be so.
The probabilities are t h a t all sorts of
people are found among them, from ex-tremes
of refinement to extremes of vul-garity,
just as is t h e case with any
other class of society. It is nonsence
to say t h a t vulgarity is peculiar to t h e
very rich ; but we say t h a t vulgarity is
decidedly peculiar to those people who
are all t h e t i m e minding the affairs of
others more t h a n their own.
THE OLD RELIABLE,
POWDER
Absolutely Pure
THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE
Not a Word to Say.
Young Husband—Grace, do you re-member
t h e n i g h t we became engaged?
Young Wife—Do I, A r t h u r ? I shall
never forget it. For nearly half an
hour I could not find a word to say.
Young Husband—Yes, and, darling,
t h a t was t h e happiest t i m e i n all life.
Tourist Rates via the Seaboard.
Winter Tourist Tickets are n ow on
saleat greatly reduced rates, via t h e Sea-board
Air L i n e Railway, to all points in
Florida, also to Cuba and Nassau, as
well as to Pinehurst, Camden and t he
leading Southern Winter Resorts.
These Tickets are good for stop-over,
either going or coming, until the end of
t h e Winter Season.
The Seaboard is t h e short route from
t h e N o r t h aud East to Florida and t he
South Atlantic States.
For f u r t h e r i n f o r m a t i o n and Book of
Winter Tours, apply to Agents of t he
Seaboard Air Line Railway and those
of connecting l i n e s . Also for " T h e Laud
of Manatee," about a region on t h e west
coastof s o u t h e r n Florida, in t h r e e book-lets:
No. 1, Historical a n d Discriptive;
No. 2, For Gardener a n d F r u i t Grower;
No. 3, F o r Tourist a n d Sportsman. Ask
or send for t h e one you want.
C. B . RYAN, G. P . A .
Portsmouth, Va.
Prayed by Telephone.
At a small dinner recently the guest
of honor was a young married woman,
formerly a resident of " t h e West."
She is t h e proud mother of fine boys,
both under 4 years of age. In t h e i r edu-cation
she endeavors to follow a system,
like many other young mothers, a nd
she is very careful to live up to a n y rule
she may have formulated for them.
During an early course in t h e dinner,
and in t h e middle of an animated con-versation
with her host, she suddenly
ceased talking. Her face took on a
most startled expression. Then, find-i
n g her voice, she exclaimed:
Mercy, I have forgotten those boys
again! May I use your telephone?"
She was taken to t h e phone by t he
host, and t h e murmur of her voice in
most earnest conversation was wafted
back to t h e d i n i n g room. After a short
time she returned.
" I beg a thousand pardons," she said,
but you must know I have always in-sisted
that Sam a n d Dick say their
prayers for me before they go to sleep.
I n the h u r r y of getting off to-night I
entirely forgot my usual duty. So I
called up t h e nurse. She brought them
to t h e phone and t h ey said their pray-ersover
t h e wire. I feel quite relieved."
One Way of Getting Around it.
A St. Paul real estate dealer who h ad
charge or considerable real estate belong-i
n g to Archbishop I r e l a n d tells a story
on t h e distinguished divine which illu-strates
t h e quick wit of t h e gentleman
in t u r u i n g a corner when in a tight
place. The real estate agent was caught
short on some investments of his own
and his client's and it was dcci led t h at
lie a n d t h e Archbishop musi ¡Uistiii at
once to N ew York, where they had
moneyed friends whom they expected
would help them out. The reverend
gentleman suggested that they go t he
next day, which was Sunday. The
real estate man was somewhat shocked
at this suggestion coming from the
source it d i d , and said that he never
travelled on t h e Sabbath, as i t was con-t
r a r y to t h e Scriptures. The Bishop
saw the point, and rubbing his hands
together, replied that he, too, had a
text t h a t might apply: "if t h y ass fall
into the d i t ch on t h e Sabbath day, you
must straightway take h im out, a n d as
there are two asses in this case we h a d
better be lively." It is perhaps need-less
to say they left for N ew York on
Sunday.
Unconscious Wit.
At a dinner party Oliver Wendell
Holmes was once seated beside a little
g i r l . . Observing t h a t she was not eat-ing,
h e looked a t h e r a n d asked:
" W h y don't you take a sandwich?"
She replied : " I have no f o r k ."
"Fingers were made before forks,"
smilingly returned the Doctor.
Then to his great delight, she looked
up a t h im a n d answered: "Not my fin-gers."
30 Years' Experience.
Rectal diseases cured permanently.
Piles, Fistulae, Fissures a n d Ulceration
Cured, without t h e use of knife or u n -
dergoing an operation. Also, specialists
aud cure guaranteed in diseases of t h e
ear and throat—especially catarrh a nd
running ear. .Send for little book on
above diseases, free. At t h e F r a n k l in
i House, Lancaster city, every alternate
1 Thursday.
I Drs. MAHRIJEY & SIIOEMAKKK,
I 19 S. 9 th St., Reading, P a .