Lititz Record

              RATES OF ADVERTISING IN THE RECORD
1 week
2 weeks....
5 weeks....
1 m o n t h . . .
2 m o n t h s .
8 m o n t h s .
6 m o n t h s .
1 y e a r
1 in 2 in 3 i n. MO. M 0. i c o l
50 no 1 25 2 25 4 00 7 50
75 1 35 1. HO 3 25 5 75 10 00
1 («1 1 75 2 BO 4 25 7 50 12 bO
I s® 2 15 H 00 fi S¡fi 9 25 15 (X)
« «0 3 2fi 4 fiO 7 50 13 25 23 00
2 50 4 25 (i 0(1 9 75 17 (Kl 31 00
8 50 fi 25 9 fiO 15 no «H (Kl 54 00
5 0019 50 13 75 26 00 50 00 90 00
Y e a r l y a d v e r t i s e m e n t s t o tie p a i d q u a r t e r -
ly. Transient a d v e r t i s e m e n t s payable in
advance.
A d v e r t i s e m e n t s , t o i n s u r e i m m e d i a t e i n -
s e r t i o n , m u s t be h a n d e d in, a t t h e very
l a t e s t , by W e d n e s d a y noon.
J o b "Work ot a l l k i n d s n e a t l y a n d p r o m p t -
ly e x e c u t e d a t s h o r t notice.
All c o m m u n i c a t i o n s should be addressed
to
RECOBD OFFICE,
L i t i t z , Lane. Co., P a .
An Independent Family Newspaper, Devoted to Literature, Agriculture, Local and General Intelligence.
VOL. XXY. LITITZ, PA., FRIDAY MORNING, SEPTEMBER 5, 1902. NO. 52.
Published Every Friday Morning by
J . P R A N K BUCH.
OFFICE—No. 9 S. Broad street, Lititz,
Lancaster County, Pa.
TEBMS OP SUBSCRIPTION.—For o ne
year 51.00, if paid in adyance, and $1.25
if payment be delayed to the end of year.
For six months, 50 cents, and for three
months, 30 cents, strictly in advance.
^ • A . failure to notify a discontinuance
at the end of the term subscribed for,
will be considered a wish to continue
the paper..
^5tf*Any person sending us five new
cash subscribers for one year will be
entitled to the BECOKD for one year, for
his trouble.
THERE IS NO REASON
wliy we should not be able to do as much busi-ness
during July and August as the other
months of the year. In order to do so, we
have agreed to make a
Cut in All Our Clothing.
Impossible to give you deceptive prices, but
this we will verify by your coming to our store
and see for yourself. You may want a Suit
to hold over until nearer fall for yourself or
boy, and I am convinced it will pay you to
purchase now at the
Broad Street Clothing Bouse,
Record Building, Lititz,
W. H. BUCH.
Reductions.
This is the season when you expect
special reduction sales, but surely you
never anticipated such sweeping reduc-tions
as we're making for this sale.
You can't realize the extent until you
come and see just what bargains we are
offering in Summer Foot Wear.
CHAS. H. F R E Y , Leader of Low Prices.
3 and 5 E. King St., Lancaster.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o c o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
o
o
o
o
o
o
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Summer Hat
Bargains,
SKE THESE HATS AND YOU WILE KNOW °
THEIR VALUE. °
THE REDUCED PRICES ON S T R AW HATS o
o WILL ENABLE YOU TO REDUCE YOUR TEM-o
o
o
o
o
o
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PERATURE.
H. L-. B O K S ,
o 144 N. Queen St. Newt. Wingert, Mgr. 0
o o
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Guns and Am munition,
Fishing Tackle,
Timothy Seed,
Fodder Twine.
DON'T FORGET OUR CHEAP
Ranges and Stoves.
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.
"Written l o r t h e RECOKD.
True, life is n o t a l l j o y a n d g a i n ,
Not w h o l l y s u n s h i n e f a i r ;
No one escapes a l l grief a n d p a i n ;
E a c h one his c r o s s m u s t bear.
Dark clouds of s o r r ow r i s e f o r a l l ,
And days of t r o u b l e come,
W i t h f o r m s of d a n g e r t h a t appall
And h e a r t s w i t h f e a r benumb.
But y e t t h e j o y p r e d o m i n a t e s]
The sadness a n d t h e loss,
The crown of life p r e p o n d e r a t es
Over t h e c r u e l cross.
The glorious s u n d i s p e l s t h e n i g h t ,
And m a k e s t h e d a r k clouds flee,
And in h i s j o y - d i s p e n s i n g light
I s t r u e f e l i c i t y.
A. S. B
flîç Contrivance.
1.1 BOMBICI * SO.,
L I T I T Z , P A ,
N THOSE sections of the " Great
West " which was purely agricul-tural
and stock-raising, a station
agent is expected to "hunt up"
passengers and freight for the
company employing him—partic-ularly
when located at a point where
another railroad competes with the
one he represents. And he is stimu-lated
to do his best in this direction by
the "commission," that he will receive
on each passenger and shipment of
freight that he secures.
For nearly four years I was the sta-tion
agent and telegraph operator at
H , Nebraska, and won the repu-tation
of a "hustler" in thus increas-ing
the traffic of my "line."
Then, as a reward for my fidelity
and ability, I was promoted to a better
paying position at P , where my
duties were really less onerous than be-fore,
and where, as the agent for the
Wells, Fargo & Go's Express, my in-come
was materially enhanced.
One August evening—unusually disa-greeable
even for the generally disa-greeable
season known as "dog days"
—as I sat aloue in my office awaiting
the arrival of my night operator, three
masked men abruptly entered my pres-ence,
each holding in his hand a revol-ver
which stared me in the face.
" My friend," said one of them to
me, " we are in rather straitened cir-cumstances,
pecuniarily, and have
come to you for assistance."
I made no reply, and he continued :
" I am aware that agents in various
parts of the state have^been 'held up,'
so frequently that they have become
accustomed to make daily remittances
to headquarters of their railroad and
express receipts, to retain but a small
sum of money in their keeping over
night. So, we shall not trouble the
cash in your possession, but merely ask
you to fill out some money orders for
us, as I shall direct.
It so happened that I had not made
the " daily remittances to headquar-ters"
for several days, and there was a
considerable sum of money in the office
safe which I was glad to know they
did notintead to "trouble."
" I see no way but to comply with
your request," I replied tremulously.
" That will be your wisest course,"
was the response.
Covered by three revolvers, I arose
from my seat, got some blank orders,
sat down at a writing desk and asked :
" For what amouut do you wish
them made out? Will seventy-five
each answer ?"
•'Ah! h a ! " was the chuckling re-joinder,
" you .don't catch me napping
in this way, I know as well as you do,
that, if issued for more than fifty dol-lars,
any money order is worthless."
He was correct.
" Make them out for any amount
not less than forty eight nor more than
fifty dollars," he went on.
"Shall I make them payable to the
bearer?" I inquired.
" H ' m ! " he returned, " that would
also render them valueless, you know,
as, less than a month ago, all Express
eompauies instructed their agents to
make no order payable to bearer."
" I will sit down beside you "—he
did so—"and give you the name of some
person to whom each of the orders
shall be made payable."
Assured in my own mind that he
was wonderfully conversant with the
regulations of Express companies for
" an outsider," I wrote until it seemed
as if I must have filled out fifty orders
continually growing more and more
nervous.
" You are getting tired, and I will
not ask you to fill out any more or-ders,"
the man finally remarked. " I
thank you, too for making no opposi-tion
to my demands. I am really very
sorry that we must submit .you to any
personal discomfort, but our safety ne-cessitates
our so doing."
Having bound me, hand and foot,
and tied a handkerchief over my
mouth—tightly enough to prevent my
making an outcry—they put out the
light and left -the office, locking the
door and pocketing the key.
Before the light was extinguished I
had noticed that the clock in the office
indicated 8.12, and as a freight train
was due at 8.35 at the longest, it would
be a short time before assistance would
come to me.
This comforting thought had scarce-ly
flashed through my brain ere I
heard several reports of fire-arms out-side,
and presently half a dozeu men
burst into my office, exclaiming :
" W e h a v e t h e m f a s t !"
I was released from my fetters, and
then one of the men—who acted as po-liceman
in P , remarked :
" Less than half an hour ago, your
wife rushed to my house, saying:
' There are robbers at the H. & M.
Railroad station. Get assistance and
go there at once.' With more than
twenty men—like myself, well armed—
I came here as soon as possible, reach
ing the station just in time to prevent
the escape of your late unwelcome vis-itors.
I do not comprehend how you
contrived to inform your wife that they
were here," and his last words were
in an interrogative tone.
To him and to many others I ex-plained
away the mystery, as I now
will to to the reader.
Owing to the frequency with which
those following my vocation had been
"held up"—and knowing that I was
as likely to be as another—it seemed to
me desirable in such an emergency to
have some secret means of communi-cating
the fact to the " city "—so the
village of P was denominated
though its population was less than
twelve hundred—the nearest house of
which was more than a-quarter of a
mile from the R. & M. station.
Unknown to any one except the
members of my family and the night
operator, with the telephone wire run-ning
from the station to my home, 1
connected other wires in such a way
that, by pressing a button under the
writing-desk in my office, a heavy
gong would be rung in the sitting-room
at my home.
The button was so diminutive and so
slightly raised above the flooi that no
one would see it save on close inspec-tion,
and those conversant with the
contrivance understood that it was to
be used only when malefactors were in
the office.
Immediately that I had seated my-self
to fill out the money-orders, I press-ed
the button with my foot; but so
long was it before there was any re-sponse
thereto, that I feared that the
wires did not work well—as wires some-times
will not when certain atmospher-ic
conditions prevail.
He—of the three visitors—who had
done the talking with me had, until re-cently,
been an Express-agent in
another state, and embezzled the funds
of his company, avoided an arrest and
joined a band of desperadoes.
A large reward had been offered for
information that would lead to his cap-ture,
and this reward was given—yes,
forced upon—me. Moreover, my sal-ary—
both from the railroad and from
the Express company—was increased,
without any request to the effect on
my part.
So " m y contrivance" was a paying
affair.
No Time Tables Needed.
"How soon can I take a train for New
York? Where's the time-table?" was
the hurried question to one of Philadel-phia's
merchants, by a country custo-mer
who had just received a telegram,
care of dealer.
"New York time table ! Why you're
behind the age. Don't you know the
Reading has a train to New York every
time the clock strikes, every weekday ?
I t is now fifteen minutes of the hour, so
you have plenty of time to reach the
Reading Terminal, and if I recollect
right you will catch a two-hour train.
About the only thing we need the New
York time-table for now is to see if the
next train is a two-hour train, or ten or
fifteen minutes longer. Jump that
trolley there and you will be at the Ter-minal
in six minutes."
Turning to a friend the merchant re-marked,
"You can hardly have an idea
what a relief in many ways to us is the
Philadelphia & Reading's new depart-ment,
running hourly trains to New
York. One thing is, that besides the
time it took to look up train times, there
was always a chance of making a mis-take
and thereby offending and in some
cases losing customers."
"The change was good for the Com-pany
also, no doubt, as their advertis-ing
phrase, 'a train every time the clock
strikes,' has also called public attention
to the really excellent service that the
Company offers its patrons in every di-rection.
Its through New York ser-vice
from Harrisburg, and also from
Pottsville, is another big thing, and I
think some of our friends who think
anything connected with Philadelphia
is slow, will have to except the Phila-delphia
& Reading Railroad."
"Never traveled that way except on
the Atlantic City Road? Say, old fel-low,
you want to shake some of the dust
off, and try their road once, that will be
enough. I won't have to coax you to
go again. You could'nt get me to ride
free by any other route now."
O R R O W E D
T H O U G H T S
F R OM
D I F F E R E N T
A U T H O R S .
The Real Thing.
' ' I s this your writing?" asked the
merchant, as he glanced over a written
list of goods wanted.
" No," replied Mr. Meeker, " my
wife wrote the list."
"Well, she certainly knows how to
handle a" pen," said the merchant.
Her diction is absolutely perfect."
" Yes, I suppose her diction's all
right," replied Meeker, with a deep
sigh, " but it's nothing when compared
with her contradiction."
The Mission of Toilet Soap.
A toilet soap should cleanse the skin
—it should do this and nothing else.
A safe soap is the one made from vege-table
oils, with alkali and oil perfectly
combined. Excess of oil means imper-fect
cleansing ; excess of alkali means
roughened skin. While cheapness of
soap often means badness of quality,
you need not pay high prices in order
to get good soaps. We are careful in
buying, and as a result of our careful-ness
we able to furnish worthy soaps at
little prices. Inland Chemical Com-pany,
Lititz.
W r i t t e n f o r t h e RECOKD,
(CONTINUED FROM LAST WEEK.)
I t is essential to a true theory of na-ture
and of man that it should contain
somewhat progressive.
Uses that are exhausted, or that may
be, and facts that end in the statement,
cannot be all that is true of this brave
lodging wherein man is harbored, and
wherein all his faculties find appropri-ate
and endless exercise. And all the
uses of Nature admit of being summed
in one, which yields the activity of
man an infinite scope. Through all
its kingdoms, to the suburbs and sub-skirts
of things, it is faithful to the
cause whence it had its origin. It al-ways
speaks of Spirit. It suggests the
absolute. It is a perpetual effect. The
aspect of nature is devout—she stands
with bended head and hands folded on
breast. The happiest man he, who
learns from Nature the lesson of wor-ship.
Of that which we call spirit, he that
thinks most will say least. We can
foresee God in the coarse matters ; but
when we try to define and describe
himself both language and thought de-sert
us.
We say, " There is no effect without
a cause ; that the world did not make
itself."
Atheists claim that the universe is a
cause, not an effect; it is not a work ;
it has not been made because it is im-possible
that it should have been made.
The world has always been ; its exis-tence
is necessary ; it is its own cause.
Nature, whose essence is visibly to act
and produce, require not, to discharge
her functions, an invisible mover;
much more unknown than herself.
Matter moves by its own energy, by
a necessary consequence. The divers-ity
of motion, or modes of mutual ac-tion,
constitutes alone the diversity of
matter.
We distinguish beings from one
another only by the different impres-sions
or motions which they commu-nicate
to our organs."
Three problems are put by Nature to
the mind : What is matter ? Whence
is it? and whereto? The first of these
questions only, the ideal theory
answers. Idealism says: Matter is a
phenomenon, not a substance; it ac-quaints
us with the total disparity be-tween
the evidence of our own being
and the evidence of the world's being.
The one is perfect ; the other, incap-able
of any assurance. The mind is
part of the nature of things,—surely
the mind is not material, is not matter.
When we come to inquire whence is
matter? and whereto? many truths
arise to us out of the recesses of con-sciousness.
We learn that the highest
is present to the soul of man, that the
dread universal essence, which is not
wisdom or love or beauty or power, but
all in one, and each entirely, is that for
which all things exist, and that by
which they are; that spirit creates ;
that behind Nature, through but Na-ture,
spirit is present; one and not
compound, it does not act upon us
from without—that is, in space and
time—but spiritually, or through our-selves
; therefore, ;that spirit—that is
the Supreme Being, does not build up
Nature around us, but puts it forth
through us, as the life of the tree puts
forth new branches and leaves through
the pores of the old. As a plant upon
the earth, so man rests upon the bosom
of God ; he is nourished by unfailing
fountains, and draws, at his need, in-exhaustable
powers. Who can set
bounds to the possibilities of man?
I s t h e r e n o Gtod? The s i l v e r y ocean s p r ay
At t h a t v i l e q u e s t i o n , s t a r t l e s i n d i s m a y ;
And tossing mad a g a i n s t e a r t h ' s impi-ous
clod
I m p a t i e n t t h u n d e r s ; 'Yes t h e r e is a God."'
THELMA.
(TO BE CONTINUED.)
LANCASTER COUNTY'S FAIR.
Train Your Boys.
Women complain bitterly of the de-cay
of chivalry in their brothers and
husbands, yet it is the women them-selves
who are to blame for man's fail-ing
in this direction. How can she ex-pect
an overwhelming amount of cour-tesy
and consideration from a man who
has been taught from his babyhood by
an adorning mother and sisters that
nothing on earth is too good for them ?
If the most comfortable chair in the
house has always been vacated upon
his entrance into a room, can she ex-pect
him to rise with gallant demeanor
and give that chair to his wife, mother
or sister?
The fault is not with the man. He
is only the victim of misplaced kind-ness.
It is the adoring woman who
watehes over his every action with
such earnest solicitude who is to blame
for his selfishness. She has made him
a being intent upon his own comfort
and utterly regardless of the comfort of
others. He is a hero from his infancy,
while his little sister learns to run bis
errands and his mother humors him
and takes his part in every argument.
Why, because he is a boy, should all
this homage be tendered? It only
serves to make him more disagreeable,
more fault finding, more selfish with
the wife, who, after all, is the one who
suffers.
A barn owned by Mrs. Davis, near
Frazer, was struck by lightning and en-tirely
destroyed with its entire con-tents.
Loss, |2,500.
To Be Held at Lancaster From Sept-ember
16th to 19th.
This year Lancaster county will have
a real fair—one that unless all indica-tions
fail, will be of the kind that might
be expected from the "garden spot of
the United States." The "fairs" of the
past few years have been hardly worthy
of the name when the facilities and re-sources
of this county are considered
But this year the management is in the
hands of an entirely new set of men
They are among the more prominent
and solid residents of this city and
county, whose very names in connec-tion
with any enterprise commands for
it respect and confidence, and who in
this manner are animated by public
spirit and pride in Lancaster county
and her products, and care more for
giving a good exhibition than for mak-ing
money. At the meeting of those
interested in the project every section
of the county was represented by
man of standing and influence in his
community ; and reports showed that
there is a wide-spread interest in the
fair, which will be held from Septem-ber
16th to 19th, and a general belief
that it will be without doubt the big-gest
thing of the kind ever held in the
county.
I t is intended that this shall be
regular old-fashioned fair, and the exhi-bition
of horses and cattle will be made
distinct feature. Every attention
and care will be given to the stock
while it is on the grounds, and every
stock breeder ahd cattle raiser in the
county is urged to send an exhibit.
There will be races on Tuesday, Wed-nesday
and Thursday, with a show of
the fine horses on the track on Friday.
The management is providing a
great number of entertainments and
shows of a proper sort, and free perfor-mances
will be given by the following
well known artists : Baker, Armstrong
& Baker, in the cycle whirl; the Monte
My re troupe of acrobatic pantamimists;
the two La Vines, celebrated contortion-ists
; the Webb trio of acrobats and the
Fay Sisters, singers and soubrettes.
Band concerts will be given daily by
the various bauds of the county.
SCIENTIFIC CARE OF TBfE EYÉS.
NATURE COMPARED WITH ART. OVER THE STATE.
How the Defects Manifest Themselves
-Prevailing Ignorance on the Sub-ject.
Sight is the most inestimable of all
blessings; blindness the most woeful of
all afflictions. This being so, you will
eadily see the importance of your eyes
as a part of the animal organism. A
momentary realization without them
will aid you to juster appreciation of
their worth.
Twenty years ago it was an unusual
sight to see a child wearing glasses,
now it is not unnatural. Oculists say
that adults are not more in need of
glasses now than they were ten years
ago, but the increase in their use is due
to the fact that many cases of indiges-tion
and other bodily ills are traced
directly to imperfect eyesight, and that
in wearing glasses the defect is remedied
with the result that the bodily ills are
cured.
Another reason for their increased
use is that literature is much cheaper
now than it was ten years ago and
more is read, thereby causing an extra
strain on the eye. That nine people
out of ten need glasses no one attempts
to deny. Constant use of the eye in
reading or in any one kind of work
always leaves its mark, and the man,
woman or child who attends to the
wants of the eye at once sutlers very
much less than the person who goes
along for months and months trusting
that the eye will right itself without
any aid from oculist or optician.
Most people are extremely negligent
in regard to their eyes, and very culpa-bly
so in regard to their children's.
This is because the public generally has
literally no idea of the number and
variety of eye defects. They know in
a general way of near sight, far sight,
old sight, squint, etc., and many with
one or the other of these defects foolishly
think that it is only necessary for them
to pick out at random from a number
of spectacles a pair that suits. Many
of the glasses selected in this way that
seem to suit exactly prove most injuri-ous
and cause permanent injury.
The fact is that optical defects occur
in such varying degree and in so many
combinations that only the competent
eye specialist with a complete eye-test-ing
equipment is qualified to discover
the exact nature and degree of the trou-ble
and properly < orrect it.
Big- Order for Plows.
An order for 18,000 eight-horse plows
to be used for breaking up the virgin
soil in South Africa has been received
by the Farquhar Agricultural works at
York. This is probably the largest
order ever sent out for this crop-com-pelling
implement.
Suppress Noise.
Noise, says "Health," is one of the
greatest foes to health that is encount-ered
in city life. There is enough of it
and to spare in the streets due to the
ordinary vocations and traffic ; but the
home should be a haven of refuge from
noise, to give the tired and harassed
nerves an opportunity to recover from
the strain to which they have been
subjected out of doors. It takes no
longer to handle things lightly than to
sling them down with a din sufficient
to arouse the celebrated seven sleepers.
How many minutes would it require
to change the cumbersome, heavy foot-wear
worn in the streets for a lighter
pair of shoes that wnuld not jar the
sensibilities of those in need of rest?
The time and trouble involved in
these and similar precautions are in-finitesimal,
but the interest on the ex-penditure
is enormous from the stand-point
of health, since it conduces to
repose and speediest recuperation from
fatigue. Slamming of doors, heavy
walking and running up and down
stairs, loud and boisterous talking—
these are offenses against health and
tranquillity that are painfully common
in many households.
Wonderful Niagara Falls—Its Titanic
Force and Unmatched Grandeur—
Falls and Rapids Remain Lasting
Pictures in the Memory.
I t is a remarkable fact that while
one or two views of any work of art is
sufficient for most persone, we never
tire of looking at nature's masterpieces
of scenery.
One of the greatest of these is Niagara
Falls, and few persons ever visited this
stupendous and wonderful specimen of
nature's handiwork without desiring
to revisit it time and time again. The
fact is that it seems almost impossible
to realize the wondrous beauty and
strength of the Falls and Rapids at
first, and the more you gaze at it the
more its majestic grandeur impresses
you.
The popular Ten-Dollar Excursions
to Niagara Falls via Philadelphia &
Reading-Lehigh Valley Route, leaving
Reading Terminal August 30th, Sep-tember
11th and 27-th and October 9th,
afford grand chances to view Niagara
and also the beautiful Lehigh and Wy-oming
valleys en route at small cost.
The tickets are good going only on
special train leaving Reading Terminal
8.30 A. M. above dates, but good to
return within ten days on all regular
trains except "Black Diamond Ex-press."
Stop-off allowed, returning, at Buf-falo,
Rochester Junction (for Roches-ter),
Geneva, Burdett (for Watkins
Glen) and Mauch Chunk, Switzerland
of America), on the return.
The following side trips at special
rates are announced, and same are
available for parties holding and show-ing
these tickets.
Niagara Falls to Toronto and return,
tickets good only for day of issue. Via
N. Y. C. & H. R. R. R. to Lewiston,
thence Niagara Navigation Company
across Lake Ontario, fare $1.00. Via
'Gorge Route" and Niagara Naviga-tion
Company, rate $1.25. Members of
tour of August 30th will have an oppor-tunity
of visiting "Canada's Great Ex-position
and Industrial Fair," to be
held at Toronto, September 1st to 13th
Rochester to Alexandria Bay and
return (Thousand Islands). Tickets
good for five days, but not to exceed
limit of Niagara Falls tickets. Rate
$5.50.
Charlotte, N. Y. (Port of Rochester)
to Thousand Islands and return via
Lake Ontario and St. Lawrence River
Day Line Steamers, tickets good two
days, including date of sale; rate $3.C0.
Rochester to Charlotte and return
20 cents.
For time of train and rates of fare
from other points, and other informa-tion
desired, consult any Philadelphia
& Reading Ticket Office.
The Old Way of Passing Bills.
A document found among the Duke
of Rutland's papers at Belvotr castle
throws a curious light upon the mode
getting private bills through the
house of commons in the days of King
Charles II. The case in hand was the
divorce bill of John, Lord de Koos, an
affair that caused a great deal of gos-sip
in its day. One of his lordship's
agents wrote iij January, 1667: "On
Wednesday last I got six and forty of
the house of commons to the Dog tav-ern,
in the palace yard at Westmin-ster,
when were present Mr. Attorney
General and Mr. George Montagu. As
soon as. they had dined we carried
them all to the house of commons, and
they passed the bill, as the committee,
without any amendments, and ordered
it to be reported the next day."
Shakes That "Were Shakes.
Over on the eastern shore of Mary-land
there was a man who was suffer-ing
from a severe case of "shakes," as
they call fever and ague in that coun-try.
One morning the local physician
called on the patient and asked him
how he felt.
"N—n—not a bit b—b—etter," was
the shaking man's reply.
"Your case Is a very peculiar one
and hard to take hold of," remarked
the doctor sympathetically.
"Yes, th—that's so," remarked the
patient, trying to smile. "The c—case
sh—sh—shakes so I don't w—wonder
you c—c—can't get hold of it."—Wash-ington
Post.
Their Words Stuck.
When Mark Twain was in Egypt, he
one day arranged with a friend to meet
him at one of the pyramids. The latter
engaged two old but experienced Arabs
to guide him to the place. He after-ward
complained that, although he had
some knowledge of their native lan-guage,
he could not understand any-thing
that his guides had said to him.
"You should have hired younger
men," Mr. Clemens told him. "These
toothless old fellows talk only gum
Arabic."
Captured.
Mabel—I suppose you have heard oi
Bister Lou's marriage. She's taken a
flat in .Kensington.
Miss Jellus—Yes, I heard she had a
fiat, but I didn't hear where she had
taken him.—St. Louis Republic.
The Plensanter Route to Rain.
"Prosperity has ruined many a man."
"No doubt, but if I'm given any
choice in the mutter I'd rather be
ruined by prosperity than by adversity.
The process is more enjoyable."—Chi-cago
Tost.
30 Years' Experience.
Rectal diseases cured permanently.
Piles, Fistulae, Fissures and Ulceration
Cured, without the use of knife or un-dergoing
an operation. Also, specialists
and cure guaranteed in diseases of the
ear and throat—especially catarrh and
running ear. Send for little book on
above diseases, free. At the Franklin
House, Lancaster city, every alternate
Thursday.
D r s . MABKLEY & SHOEMAKER,
19 S. 9th St., Reading, Pa,
In Phila. and other cities, a trust is
busy gobbling up cigar stores, with a
view to controlling them and cutting
down expenses, closing some and con-solidating
others.
William H. Herman, of Lower Sau-con,
brought proceedings to secure $5,-,
000 damages from a neighbor, Robert
H. Ruch. The plaintiff's bill of com-plaint
states that the defendant failed
to keep a mill race on his property in
in proper condition and repair and
that water thereby owerflowed the
plaintiff's meadow, causing much dam-age.
Proceedings were commenced by
Miss Alice Brittain, of Bethlehem,
against the Lehigh Valley Traction
Company, to recover $20,000 damages
on account of injuries alleged to have
been received in a collision near Oak-land
Park.
Because the relatives in Chester de-cline
to pay the expenses of transpor-tation
of Charles Grawl and Mrs.
Frank Scott, arrested at Zanesville, O.,
the charge of bigamy, Chief of
police Leary, of Chester, has sent word
to Zanesville to have the couple re-leased.
In a runaway at Phoenixville,|Miss
Cora Jester had'a kneecap split and
was otherwise badly injured.
Aunt Sallie Coover, of Mechanics-burg,
is 104 years old. Her eyesight is
good, but her hearing is slightly im-pared.
She had never riden on a
steamboat or train, and has had but
one trolley ride, which occurred about
a year ago, when the trolley line was
completed through the town.
Jumping from one freight train in
front of another, Joseph Ferris, of Har-risburg,
was cut to pieces on Sunday at
Lebanon.
Caught under his car, which was
overturned on a curve at the foot of a
steep grade near Ashland, Conductor
W. E. Clark, of the Lehigh Valley
Traction Company, was crushed to
death late on Saturday night.
Burglars at Stoneboro rifled a mail
bag in the post office and took several
hundred dollars at the office of the Mer-cer
Coal and Iron Company.
While painting a bridge at Ringtown,
James Wagner, of Sunbury, in the em-ploy
of the Reading Railway, fell 100
feet, landing on a stone abutment and
dying instantly.
Amos N. Axe boarded a freight train
at Gap. Three men ordered him from
the train and when he got off the men
beat and robbed him. He was found
unconscious and is in a critical condi-tion.
The dead body of James T. Hard-wick,
who disappeared on Wednesday,
was found in the Lehigh River at Al-lentown.
On Thursday Mrs. Hardwick
received a letter from her husband
reading : "Look for my body in the
river."
At Bloomsburg during his absence
from home, the house of C. A. Pursel
was entered by burglars, who carried
off pratically everything of value. At
least a wagon load of plunder, includ-ing
clothing, jewelry and silverware,
was taken.
During a heavy thunderstorm, light-ning
struck the house of John K. Dry,
of New Jerusalem. The bolt passed
int i the chimney and tore loose the
spouting. Lighting struck into Morris
Deysher's engine house and three ap-ple
trees and then into a chestnut tree.
Lightning also killed a cow of Nicholas
DeTemple. A bolt of lightning also
struck the mill of Amos E. Seyler, but
did little damage.
The Many Uses of the Banana.
Immense fortunes have been made
out of the banana business. Revenues
not accrue alone from the sale of
the fruit, for the leaves are used for
packing; the juice, being strong in
tannin, makes an indelible ink and
blacking; the wax found ou the
under side of the leaves is a valuable
article of commerce; manila hemp is
made from the stems, and of this hemp
are made mats, plaited work and lace
handkerchiefs of the finest texture;
moreover, the banana is ground into
banana flour. The fruit to be sold for
desert is ripened by the dry warmth of
flaring gas jets in the storage places in
which it is kept and care has to be
taken to prevent softening or over-rip-ening.
The island of Jamaica yields
great crops of this useful and moiiej-making
fruit.
AH He Wanted to Kiiow.
" My dear," he said softly.
" Well?" she returned with some as-perity.
"There is just one thing I desire to
know in order to be contented with my
lot."
" What is i t ! " she asked.
" Will you hold me up as a mod® to
your third husband as you now hold
your first husband up to me !"
Teaching a Dog to Talk.
The "London Magazine" gives an
account of some curious experiments
made by Lord Avesbury, better known
to the world at large as Sir John Lub-bock,
in teaching his dog to read. He
has progressed so far that "Van" finds
a card with "out" printed on it when
he wishes to go for a walk, and picks
out other words in the same fashion.
After t h e Sun and Wind
have left their traces on your face,
you'll appreciate toilet supplies. Va-nilla
cures tetter, pimples, and will re-move
all blotches and beautify the skin.
I t will also cure sweating feet. Then
we have a full line of toilet creams,
vinolia, milk weed cream, Pompeian
massage cream, Hind's almond and
honey cream, and numerous others, all
good standard remedies. Prices to suit
all. Inland Chemical Co., Lititz. .