Lititz Record

              Published Every Friday Morning by
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OFFICE—On Broad street, Litits,
Lancaster County, Pa.
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VOL. XIV. LITITZ PA., FRIDAY MORNING, OCTOBER 24 1890. NO. 8.
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144 NORTH OUEIN STREIT, - LANCASTER PA.
NEWT. WINGERT, MANAGER.
WAYS OF BRIDEGROOMS.
'• We ministers see many curious
phases of human nature," said a
preacher the other day, " and not a
little amusement is to be derived from
watching the behavior of people who
come to you to get married, 1 or in-stance.
" I remember when I had a parish
in the country a big r .ugh farmer
drove up to my house one day with a
blushing, giggliug damsel in his wagon.
" After I had married them the
bridegroom said:
" ' Money's scarce in these parts,
minister, and I can't raise more than
enough to pay my taxes this fall, but
I'll draw you two thumpin' big loads
of cordwood when snow comes for this
job.
" I told him I had to take so large
a part of my salary already in cord-woo
1 that I didn't care to marry peo
pie for it, but the job, as he called it,
couldn't be undone and cordwood was
better thau nothing. He never brought
it, however, an J while his horses were
standing outside they managed to
chew the entire top off a little orna-mental
tree I had taken great pains to
plant on my lawn.
" A party of gypsies surprised me
one day, and they don't often insist
on so much ceremony in their wed-dings,
by walking in and demanding
that two of them be married. I had
some difficulty in explaining that a li-cence
was just as necessary as a minis-ter,
but having' decided on a formal
affair, they determined alter consider-able
discussion to go through with it.
Bo several of them camped on my
lawn while the bride and bridegroom
went for a license. He had no coat,
but carried an immense bundle of
something, which he seemed unwilling
to let go for an instant. She was in her
feet and seemed to be troubled with
no worldly possessions at all save a
calico gown. As they walked she
kept herself a little ahead of him with
a saucy air, while he followed with the
bundle and she trudged behiud. That
was the only difference I could see in
the pair, but it was a significant one.
" A young farmer came to me one
day," continued the minister, " with a
girl who evidently nad advanced
ideas of style. She was attired in all
the colors of the rainbow, and he
thought she knew it all though he
felt a little abashed at the unwonted
finery. They brought no witnesses
and as my married sister and her hus
band were there on a visit from their
city home to my backwoods parsonage,
and were bound to get all the enter-tainment
out of my surroundings that
they could, they gladly agreed to be
bridesmaid and best man at a country,
wedding. They were very well dress-ed
people, indeed, so that their inter-nal
convulsions of laughter may be
imagined when the bride said :
" Henry, distribute the gloyes."
" Henry dutifully fished out of his
coat-tail pockets several pairs of coarse
white gloves of a short-wristed, elastic-bound
which had evidently done duly
at some bucolic funeral, and gravely
handed them around.
" They were so deeply in earnest
about it and so evidently thought that
they were doing things -up in the
latest style that we all pulled on the
gloves and wore them without a smile
throughout the ceremony, though
mine sadly interfered with turning
the leaves of my prayer book. When
I called on the bride afterward I found
conspicious on her centre table a pre-tentious
book on etiquette, from which
no doubt, she had called her ideas of
how to conduct marriage ceremonies.
" There are plenty of men, too, who
want to get the thing done as cheaply
as possible, and are prepared to hag-gle
over the tee.
• " Is that all there is to it ?' they
say, when the ceremony is over.
Pretty short, ain't it ? Didn't take
much trouble. What's the fee, sir ?
Times is hard just now and—'
' Oh, just pay whatever you think
your wife is worth, I always say to
these fellows, with a smile at the bride
That generally stops the haggler and
raises a laugh against him.
" The thriftiest man who ever came
to me for this purpose, however, was
one I met with in Canada, where I
had a parish for a short time just after
I came out from England, my native
land. He came alone and opened the
conversation in this way :
" ' What will it cost me, minister,
to get married ?'
" ' Two dollars for the license,' I
said,' and two for my fee.'
" ' Wh-e-e-w,' he whistled. ' Four
dollars! Isn't there any cheaper way
than that ?'
' " Y o u can get along without the
license,' I said, ' by having the bans
published by me for three successiye.
Sundays in the church.'
" ' Won't twice do ?' he asked.
No,' I replied.
*' ' I can't leave them that long in the
ground,' he said, in a troubled tone,
'and it will cost me $5 to tell you about
them?'
"'What ase you talking about,
man ?' I said, thinking he perhaps
was drunk.
" 'The potatoes, of course," he said
Didn't I tell you about them ?'
" 'Well,' he said, '(here's my field of
potatoes. They're ripe and ready to
gather. I must get to work at once
and fork them out of the hills, but I
have no one to pick them up after me.
Did you ever pick potatoes ?'
" ' No,' I said, ' I never did, but I
understand it's hard work.'
" ' I t is that,' he replied, 'and I 'd
have to pay a man or. boy at least $5
to pick that field and board him
beside. Now, the woman I'm going
to marry is a stout and willing girl,
and she'll pick that field for nothing,
if I can only gether in time. But the
three weeks of bans is going to put the
work off too late. What would you
do ?'
" ' I t is a case where I don't feel
called on to give any advice,' I answer-ed
a little testily, as I could not help
thinking of the willing bride breaking
her back picking potatoes for such a
churl.
"He considered a while and at last
decided to spend $2 for a license, as
he would thus save $3 in cash on the
potato pickiug and get three weeks of
hard work out of the willing bride into
the bargain.
" 'Some bridal parties are exceeding-ly
jolly," continued the talker, "so
much so, in fact, that I often have to
stop in the middle of the service and
lecture the bride or bridesmaids for
giggling, and others again are so
solemn that I feel it my duty to cheer
them up a little. I have a few old
stock jokes for such occasions, which
never fail to provoke a laugh. When
I give the bride her marriage 'lines,'
as we call the certificate, I occasionally
add that I have no doubt she will
hold the reins also. One bridegroom
whom I cheered with the observation
that this was the end of all his troubles
returned sometime after and remon-strated
with me, saying that his mar:
riage was really the beginning of his
woes. The only defence I could urge
for making so rash a statement was :
" 'My friend, I did not say which
end.'
" 'But this does not seem to console
him to any great extent.
An uncouth couple annoyed me in-to
playing a partical joke on them
once. It happened in this way. They
called on me just as I was getting into
my buggy to start on a visiting tour.
They were ill-looking, ill-mannered
people and seemed altogether lacking
reverence for the ceremony or its
consequences. He was especially rough,
not to say coarse, and had eyidently
offended the bride on the way to my
house, for she looked sulky. When I
said :
"Wilt thou haye this woman to be
thy wedded wife ? etc., he answered :
" 'You bet.'
I reproved him, and he finally re-sponded
sulkily, ' I wull.'
"When I asked her, "Wilt thou have
this man to be thy wedded husband ('
etc., she replied.
" 'No, I won't. I've taken a dislikin'
to him.' And she would not and did
not. So they Went away quarrelling,
and I was glad to see the last of them.
"About a week after they came
again, and the woman said she had
changed her mind and had got over
h e r ' d i s l i k i n ' to him. So they stood
up again. But when I did put the
critical question to the man he answer-ed
cooly:
" 'No, I won't. I have taken a
dislikin' to her.' And he turned on
his heel and walked out of the house
without another word, leaving the
woman crying with chagrin. I wag
sorry for her and angry with the man
for trifling with me, but I could not
help thinking he had served her about
right.
" About a week after they both
came back and begged me to marry
them. I felt like setting the dog on
them, but my cloth, if nothing else,
forbade t h a t ; so I stood them right
up there on the veranda and began :
•'Do you take this woman,' etc,
and ' Do you take this man,' etc, to
which they both answered ' I will.'
" ' W e l l , ' I said, ' it seems you are
both willing this time. But I am not.
I have taken a strong dislikin' to both
of you, and you will have to get some
one else to marry you.
" With this I stepped back into the
house, closed the door and left them
both standing on tht veranda looking
as sheepish as you please. No amount
of sermons would have done as much
good in vindicating the dignity of the
church to such intellects, and that
was my excuse for playing a practical
joke on such an occasion."
The First Jjove.
Who of all the hundreds and
thousands of old boys does not re-member—
with a sigh of regret that
his youth is passed—hi3 first love?
Who of all that vast army does not
remember the dimple-cheeked, brown-eyed
lass, or the girl with yellow,
sunshiny curls and laughing face, or
the fair, blue-eyed little girl—with
whom he fell into his first love ?
Many of all this crowd have girls of
their own now, whose beaus hang on
the front gate until it isn't there any
longer, just the same as we did when
we were boys.
My first love ! Softly I breathe the
words that mean so little to me. But
I speak reverentially of the years that
are gone, out of respect to thè memory
of those who went with them. The
recollection of early kisses and sly hugs,
stolen on the way home from "singin',"
comes up and forces a sigh ; but(
withal, the thoughts of my youth can
only be pleasaut ones. .
It is not altogether clear to me nowhow
I did to imagine myself in love with
the sweet and pretty Barbara. I only
know that I called her "my girl !" in
an off-hand manner, and all the neigh-bors
somehow admitted that I had an
undisputed right to the claim. Bar-bara
did not wear bangs Or any of the
patent arrangements that go to com-plete
feminine toilets of to-day. Per-haps
she would have worn them had
they been in yogue, but I will give the
little girl benefit of the doubt. Many
months were spent in the usual love-making
preliminaries before I felt it
my duty to tell Barbara of my love
for her. On the day I had set for
making the avowal, I dressed up just
after noon and set off down the road
for the sweet child's house. My costume
was of linsey, and it consisted simply
of shirt, coat and trousers. The latter
were of a large roomy pattern, very
much like those worn to-day by young
men who follow the styles. Mine were
not cut from any particular style, and
they did not reach my ankles, but two
little things like that did not bother
me.
Barbara was sitting on the style
when I reached her house, and she said
"good evening' " that pretty mid-after-noon
in such a pleasant way that I
wanted to bite her then and there. A
big shade was lied down over her head
fo keep the sun from dropping freckles
on the rosy cheeks, while mitts of her
own making encased the small hands I
so longed to hold. I forgot my mission
as I looked at her and my dream was
broken by some stray remark about
the need of rain. But I biaced up to
my task and began to collect my
thoughts. How many times I changed
from one foot to the other in ten
minutes ! How often I ran my big,
brown hands into those short, roomy
trousers ! But I told my Barbara I
loved her, and she seemed glad of it
all.
After that day what moments of bliss
we spent together, and what great fools
we made of ourselves from that time
on until, one day, she gave the north
neighbor's son a bunch of field daisies,
plucked by her own small hands. We
quarreled then, and my first love was
over.
Although it was only silly child's
play, I wish I could play it over again.
Such pleasures come but once in an
lifetime, and blest is he. who has yet te
experience them.
Humorous.
The devil has such a long tail that
we are always stepping on it.
It is unreasonable to expect a man
to be collected if his bills are not.
Railroad engineers should be experts
in keeping the track of things.
There are two sides to every ques-tion—
the wrong side and our side.
The man who goes to a seashore re-sort
for change frequently comes back
without any.
P. T. Barnum is very rich for a
man who always has had an elephant
on his hands.
While we have so many lakes in
this country, there is only one that is
really Superior.
" I t fills the bill," remarked the
bantam pullet when she picked up a
large and juicy grasshopper.
Boston papers tell of a man who
has made a fortune in frog's legs.
His cash is in greenbacks, presuma-bly.
It takes more religion to bold a
man level in a horse trade than it
does to make him shout at camp
meeting.
" I wonder if McCorkle loves his
wife much." " He adores her! Why,
he wears neckties that she selects
for him !"
The man who says he is going to
get there, and don't you forget it
makes more noise about it than the
man who is actually there.
When a girl has shown her hand
in the game of love, the next time she
shows it she should have a diamond
on it, just for luck.
" WilJ you love me when I'm old ?"
sang a maiden of uncertain age.
" Will I ?" murmured a crusty old
bachelor. " Do I, you mean ?"
' What a number of these Boston
girls wear glasses ; have you noticed?"
" Yes, very few Boston women think
it proper to look at anything with the
naked eye."
Groom—' A ring around the moon
is the sign of rain." Bride (sweetly)
—" And a ring around a woman's
finger is the sign of " Groom
(sadly)—" Reign."
Miss Amy—" Now I'll sing you
' Only a Lock of Her H a i r . ' " Young
Dolly (after she has made several
false starts)—" You don't seem to
have the right key to that lock."
I t is stated that the government
wants a new design for the silver dol-lar.
We would suggest a weather
vane; it is very easily changes to
four quarters.
All men are everlastingly grinding
some ax or another, but among them
it's fearfully singular few ever got
hold of an ax used for splitting the
kindling wood.
" Papa," said Mabel at the break-fast
table, " I'm sorry you don't like
Herbert. I'm sure he is a rising
young man." " Yes," said the old
gentleman, grimly, " I think I have
seen him rise; in fact, I myself as-sisted
him to rise as he left the front
steps last evening."
Yeast— ' Do you quarrel with your
neighbor yet about his hen coming
over in your garden ?" Crimsonbeak
—" No, we're all over that now."
Buried the hatchet ?" " No, better
still; buried the hen."
Girls W h o "Want Husbands.
MONTREAL.—The impression has
gone abroad that the mayor of Mon-treal
is a matrimonial agent. Some
weeks since the mayor received a letter
from a bachelor, in the west, asking
him to send to Arizona young Canadian
women who wanted husbands. The
mayor's reply that he did not keep a
matrimonial agency got into the press,
and now he is receiving letters from
young marriageable women in France
and England, no less than 3 coming to
hand yesterday.
The first is from Marseilles. The
fair writer says she is ready to come to
Montreal and then go West. All she
asks is money to pay her fare and she
will leave at once.
The two other letters are from
London and are written by an Anglo-
Irish girl and a French girl. The
former says she is 20, of graceful pro
portions, with a dark and expressive
eye, and she is willing to send her
photograph in exchange to any young
man who means business.
The French girl says she is 24 and
would like to marry a man of 30 to 40,
According to her modest pretensions
her only attractions are a tall, elegant
form, dark hair and dark eyes. She
promises-to be a good wife and is will
ing to exchange photographs.
OWEN P . BRICKER, E s q . , a t t o r n ey
at-law; is in town every Saturday and.
Monday morningand can be consulted
in all legal business. Lancaster office
48 North Duke street.
The Mayor o f N e w Orleaus Marked
f o r Assassination.
NEW ORLEANS, Oct. 18.—The
assassination of Chief of Police Hen-nessy
on Wednesday night by the
Mafia appears to have been only the
beginning of a series of murders of
officials which had been planned by
the Italians, as the Mayor of the city
has received warning that he is a
marked man. Public feeling is strong-ly
aroused against the Italian colony,
and the least thing would precipitate a
riot. A steamship is now on her way
up the river from Italy with over 800
immigrants on board, and a determi-nation
has been expressed to prevent
their landing. The police last night
searched the residence of one of the
men arrested for the murder of Chief
Hennessy, and found a detailed plan
to assassinate all city or State officers
who acted counter to the wishes of the
Mafia.
The cause of the killing of Chief
Hennessy date back to last spring,
when certain members of this society,
known as the Provinzanas gang,
shot into a wagon load of rival
Italians one night who were known as
the Matranagas. The police secured
enough evidence to convict the per-petrators
of the attempted assassina-tion,
who were sentenced to life im-prisonment.
A new trial was granted,
and it was set for next week. Chief
Hennessy had possessed himself of im-portant
information in regard to the
workings of the Mafia, and it was be-lieved
that on the trial of the case he
would expose the inside workings of
this band of assassins. The possession
of this knowledge and his avowed
determination to break up the Mafia
were without doubt the causes that led
to his murder.
Aphorisms.
Never argue. In society nothing
must be; give only results. If any
person differs from you, bow and turn
the conversation.
Let a man be never so ungrateful,
or inhuman, he shall never destroy the
satisfaction of my l aving done a good
office.
When you know a thing, to hold
that you know i t ; and when you do
not know a thing, to allow that you do
not know it, this is knowledge.
Sell your confidence at a high price,
if at all; to be strong keep your own
counsel.
To live is not merely to breathe ; it
is to act, it is to make use of our organs,
senses, faculties—of all those parts of
ourselves which give us the feeling of
existence.
I t is impossible that an ill natuied
man can have a public spirit; for how
should he love ten thousand men who
never loved one ?
After all, the most natural beauty
in the world is honesty and moral
truth. For all beauty is truth. True
features make the- beauty of the face ;
and true proportions the beauty of
architecture; as true measures that of
harmony and music. In poetry which
is all fable, truth still is the perfection.
Over t h e State.
Mis* Mary Rentzheimer, of Heller-town,
80 years old, and worth $80,000,
was on Friday engaged in cutting corn
in her lot.
A pheasant flew against a North
Penn passenger train at the Union
Depot, South Bethlehem, and fell dead
on the platform.
At a meeting of the Executive Com-mittee
of the Bristol Board of Trade
on Friday night an effort was made to
induce manufacturers to open the
mills now standing idle in that place.
Residents of Pine Groye, Schuylkill
county, ara still reluctant about ven-turing
out after nightfall for fear the
huge boa which escaped from the side-show
at that place last week will
attack them.
Charles Blizzard, of No. 368 Frank-lin
street, Chester, pupil at the Frank-lin
Puplic School, fell over a faulty
banister on Thursday and was severely
injured. The banister has been re-ported,
it is said, seyeral times by the
principal as being unsafe. Action for
damages will probably result.
Thomas Slavin, a brakeman em-ployed
by the Reading Railroad Com-pany
on the Bridgeport night shifter,
was sent back to flag au expected
freight train, and after goiug the re-quired
distance he sat down on another
track, and when a passenger train
came along he was struck and killed.
The large flour grist mill owned by
J . K. Kunkle, and located near the
village of Lisbon, 4 miles southeast of
Mechanicsburg, was burned. Loss,
$5,000; insured for $1,300 in the
Dover insurance company, of Dover,
York county, Pa.
ST.BLMO HOTEL, N o s . 317 a n d 319
Arch street, Philadelphia.—Rates re
duced to $2 per day. The traveling
public will still find at this hotel the
same liberal provision for their com-fort.
It is located in t h e immediate
centre of business, and places of amuse
ment and the different railroad depots
as well as all parts of t h e city, as
easily accessible by street cars con
stantly passing the doors. I t offers
special inducements to those visiting
the city for business or pleasure. Your
patronage is respectfully soticted.
JOSEPH M . FEGER,
oc7-ly Propr.
Odd Things.
An orange measuring a foot in cir-cumference
has been found in Strake,
Fla.
At Eichweller, in Germany, a lady
left instructions in her will that when
she died she was to be buried in a
splendid ball costume.
In a biographical dictionary of Rus-sian
authors recently issued, 1000
pages are devoted to those whose name
begins with A.
Jewish boy in Russia who stole a
pear was brutally punished. The word
"thief' was branded on hisforeheid in
three places.
The Atchison (Kan.) factory re-cently
turned out a pair of overalls
that were 60 inches around the belt
line and 28 inches up and down.
A woman who belongs to the cook-ing
school at Atchison, Kan., made a
two-pound loaf of bread the other day
out of a pound of flour.
Miss Preston, of Perris, San Diego
county, has juts obtained a verdict for
$10,000 against Mrs. Fry, a neighbor,
for slanderous stories that the de-fendant
had circulated.
Miss Lou Cochrane, a compositor at
Oregon City, successfully manipulates
an engine that runs the presses, and
thoroughly understands the workings
of the machinery to the minutest de-tail.
The Czar has three sets of police to
watch over him—the ordinary or third
section police ; the palace police, under
the controller of the household ; and
the private body police, whose chief
s his orders from the Czar in
person.
There is a married man in Atlanta,
Ga., who wears eye-glasses with a gold-en
rim. His wife also wears eye-glasses,
and the two pairs are just alike.
They are the parents of three children,
the youngest being 10 years of age,
and each of the children wear eye-glasses,
too.
P r e p a r i n s F o r W i n t e r.
A real estate dealer who missed a
a number of the signs he had planted
in the northeastern part of the city
took a scout among the inhabitants,
and in one back yard he found no less
than twenty different "For Sales,"
several of them bearing his own
"Apply to ." When he undertook
to recover his property, however, a
Polish woman set a dog on him and
run him off, accompanied by an ex-clamation
which seemed to interpret:
"If my husband was only here he'd
teach you better than to come around
trying to steal the firewood we've laid
up for the winter!"
A Y o u n g H u s b a n d Disappears.
PITTSBURG, Pa., Oct. 19.—R. d.
Holstein, a young German of good
family, has been mysteriously missing
since August 18. His wife, and ac-complished
lady, of Richmond, Va.
is at the Bethesda Home in a destitute
condition. Mr. Holstein shortly after
his marriage came to Pittsburg and
secured employment as agent for_
publishing house. He wrote to Ris
wife daily, and on August 20 she came
to Pittsburg at his request. A letter
from her, received on August 19
announcing the time of her arrival, is
still unclaimed at the post office. Hoi
stein was a man of correct habits, tal
ented, and trusted by his employers.
He collected considerable money, and
it is feared he has been foully dealt
with.
General News.
A British syndicate has bought out
a biff Woonsocket (R. I.) wringer
factory.
Austin Adams, ex-Justice of the
Iowa Supreme Court, died at Du-buque?!
Kennebec, Me., has 328,000 tons of
unsold ice, and there's new snow on
Mount Washington.
In a Kansas City Court a photo-graphic
view of a recent railway
wreck has been accepted as evidence.
Prince Gecrge was the guest of
honor on Friday night at "the most
brilliant ball ever given in Halifax."
The guests numbered 1000.
Rev. J . H. Hector, colored, having
been refused bed and board at a Pitts-field
(Mass.) hotel, declares that
"Massachusetts is as bad as South
Carolina."
The State Convention of the Iowa
W.C. T.1J. has had a split between the
non partisan and third party forces,
the main body of the delegates seceding
from the National Union.
The Ohio Legislature has adopted a
resolution providing a committee to
investigate alleged corruption in cer-tain
Boards at Cincinnati and the
various departments of the city
government.
There is doubt whether the reward
of $10,000 offered by Alabama and
the Federal Government for the cap-ture
and delivery of Rube Burrows to
an officer will be paid, as the outlaw
was killed before delivery to the
authorities.
In a frenzy of fanaticism at Sumter,
S. C., on Sunday last, Primas Jones,
colored, was killed by Rev, A. H.
Durant, the negro pastor, and Richard
Campbell, a prominent member of
Beulah Church, because Jones had
expressed doubts about the sup-ernatural
power oi Durant to kill and
restore to life, and that was a test case,
but the experiment failed, and the
murderers are in jail, while the con-gregation
is "all broke up" oyer the
discovery that Durant does not possess
supernatural power.
Stephen A. Caldwell, who died o f
heart disease in Phila., left au estate
worth $500,000. He was a member
of the Baptist church.
Bradstreet's and R. G. Dun & Co.'s
commercial agencies report a grea in-crease
in the volume of trade, with 177
failures in the United States, aud 29
in Canada.
A heayy gale did much damage on
the New England cost.
In Newark a wind storm blew down
an unfinished three-story frame house,
on Central ave., burying two car-penters
named Smith and Martin
Three others jumped from the window.
None were seriously hurt.
The U. S. supreme court is three
years behind in its work and the con-dition
of retarded business is almost
hopeless. Thi3 is a strong argument,
for younger Judges.
At Providence Augustus L. Csse,
son of Admiral Case, U. S, navy, was
drowned in the bay during the gale.
He went out in a small skiff with his
brother after a yacht which had
drifted from its moorings. The skiff
was capsized. His brother was rescued,
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