Lititz Record

              Published Every Friday Morning' by
J. PRANK BÜCH.
©rricE—On Broad street, Lititx,
Lancaster County, Pa.
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All Independent Family Newspaper, Devoted to Literature, Agriculture, Local and General .Intelligence,
9 Ë .
VOL. XIII. LITITZ PA.. FRIDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER 1,1889. NO 9.
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W A L T E R H. BTJOH, .
" R E C O R D " B U I L D I N G,
JB&OJLJD S T . , LITITZ.
T¥0 MISTAKES.
Do not neglect the graves of your dead.
THE MIIIEIM MlilLE Till
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Prices greatly reduced.
S. P. MILLER, Manager.
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The Lake Shore driving park ,at
Waveland contributed greatly to the
liveliness of the little place, the talk
upon the streets from August to De-cember
being very largely upon the
pets of the turf as exhibited by the
sporting men, and there was scarcely
a woman or child in the place who did
not understand timing a trotter down
to the fraction of a second.
Of course there was a certain class
even there that considered it almost a
sacrilege , to look toward the race
course, and Mrs. Eighme, a worthy,
well known and slightly irascible (she
called it sensitive) woman, was one of
these.
But even she had decided to ask
Mr. Gordon, a grandmotherly old
gentleman, when he was not railed
who owned Limbereel, fastest trotter
in Waveland, to select for her a black
carriage horse to drive with Snow-flake,
a pure white animal whose
mate had recently died, thus showing
that she was not entirely insensible to
the charms of an elegant turnout, or
it might be that Mr. Gordon's charms
had something to do with the matter.
She would not repose such a trust
in a sporting man, she said, although
he was 65 years old and a retired mer-chant
of undoubted integrity, had it
not been that his grandson, Louis Gor-don,
had lately become engaged to her
granddaughter, Rexa, who was her
constant companion.
" We shall soon be related," she
continued. "I am go pleased that
Louis knows nothing of horses. He
told me so himself, yet we have to
overlook it of Mr. Gordon—he is so
rich ! Anyway, I have resolved to
ask him."
" Yes," replied Rexa, with a twinkle
in her eye.
If she was brow beaten her thoughts
were still her own.
" I would like to see Mr. Gordon
this yery morning. I want to tell him
exactly what I want. A true black
without a single white hair. I greatly
dislike a black that fades. Ot course
I do not,want speed but I shall be
particular about color and style."
" If you will sit down by the window,
grandmother, I think you will soon see
Mr. Gordon. He exercises Limber-heel
at about this hour, and he passes
here on his way to the park."
Mrs. Eighme was aware of this fact,
but she said nothing, only arranged
her laces a little, and then seated her-self
by the window.
She had scarcely done so before she
saw Mr. Gordon coming down the hill,
driving Limberheel before a light
wagon.
Limbereel was a true black, a
racer, a biter and a desperate charac-ter
generally.
Mr. Gordon caught sight of Mrs.
Eighme the same second that she
caught sight of him.
Bless me!" he thought, "if that
disagreeable old woman isn't looking
out of the window at me, and my lap
robe isn't in place! What will she
think?"
And for Louis's sake the fussy old
fellow began to grope in the bottom of
his vehicle for the scarlet robe which
was just visible.
He hastily got it into place, and
then turned and lifted his hat most
gracefully to the lady, but she did not
return his salutation, but stood gazing
at him, the picture of horror and un-deniable
rage.
Poor Mr. Gordon! He did not
know that in putting up his blanket
ie had dislodged a dilapidated cat
that had been sleeping in his cart, and
that pussy bad sprung from his vehi-cle
behind and taken refuge in Mrs.
Eighme's yard.
And Mrs. Eighme abhorred cats.
" An insult!" gasped the old lady,
turning purple. "And he dared to
leave that cat here before my very
eyes and then lift his hat and grin!
Rexa, Rexa, you shall never marry
him—never!"
Why, grandma, what do you
mean ? Not Mr. Gordon, surely ?"
" Yes, yes, that wretched old Gor-don!"
But grandma, I never thought of
marrying him."
" I know i t We won't either of us
marry him now. To think of insult-ing
me by leaving a cat here. There
it is—there it is, Rexa—a dreadful,
one-eyed, three-legged cat! I'll catch
it and send it back to him, that's what
I'll do ; and I'll let him know that we
are done with him and his relations
forever. Rexa, Rexa, I never would
have believed it!"
Rexa sprang to the window to see
the strange animal.
" Did Mr. Gordon bring that cat,
here?"
'• Yes, he did, Rexa. You can
never marry Louis now."
In spite of the solemnity of the
tones Rexa was obliged to smile, but
she said nothing. Silence, she knew,
was now pure gold—nay, limped dia
monds!
I know what I'll do," continued
Mrs. Eighme. •' I'll go see my law-yer.
I'll law him till I haven't a cent
left, Rexville Eighme."
"Ob, grandmother, I'd wait until
morning." ,
" I will not. I'll go this minute!"'
And Rexa was obliged to assist her
toilet, her best hope being that Mr.
Latimer, the lawyer, would give the
old lady some soothing advice.
She was so used to her grandmoth-er's
unreasonable temper that she did
not imagine that anything more serious
than a few hours' excitement would De
the result of this ludicrous episode.
It was a su prise to her that evening
when Louis Gordon did not present
himself as usual, but sent her a note
instead.
My Dearest: I met your grand-mother
on the street to-day, and she
forbade me to enteriier house again.
It appears that grandfather has in
some way displeased her, although he
declares that he doesn't know what he
had done. I am more grieved than
I can express ; but be certain that as
soon as the atmosphere clears I will be
at your sideagain. Louis GORDON.
After this there was a depressing
quiet for Rexa, for her grandmother
forbade her to walk out or ride alone
and she saw nothing of Louis except
as he rode past the house and bowed
gravely to her.
And each day Mrs. Eighme,fmoved
to pity by its evident misfortunes, call
ed in the one-eyed, three-legged cat
and fed it, enlarging upon her troubles
the while.
A short time went by, and one
morning Mr. Latimer sent down a
black carriage horse for Mrs. Eighme,
as he had been requested to do.
" See, Rexa," said the old lady
complacedly, " Mr. Latimer has done
much better by me than the man
Gordon could haye done. Isn't it a
beauty?"
" It is, indeed," replied Rexa. " It
is the picture of Limbereel. But
Limbereel is so skittish that I am al-most
afraid of this one."
Mrs. Eighme frowned severely, but
said nothing.
Rexd's fears were apparently with-out
foundation, for Amber proved to
be very gentle, the only fault seemed
to be a hankering for fresh pastures ;
and one morning Mrs. Eigme was dis-gusted
to see her favorite in Mr.
Gordon's field complacently munch-ing
grass beside the black racer, Lim-bereel.
The lady felt terribly humiliated.
It was very early in the morning that
she made the discovery and she decid-ed
that she would not call her coach-jnan,
but would go for the horsa at
once. She sincerely hoped no one
would ever know where Amber had
been breakfasting but herself.
Mrs. Eighme could make herself
agreeable to animals, if not to her
own kind, and it was not long before
the horse was in her own pasture and
the lady.was at home again.
But the trespass that she had been
obliged to make ^stirred up her ire
toward Mr. Gordon Once more, and
she resolved to return that cat that
very morning, as she had long intend-ed
to do.
Accordingly she gave orders for
her carriage to be brought around
after breakfast, declaring that as Am-jer
had proven so gentle, Rexa must
drive, and then, without saying any-thing
to anyone, she captured the cat
and put it in a bandbox, which she
took charge of herself.
The black behaved with rather more
than its accustomed spirit that morn-ing,
and Rexa felt as if she had better
tend to her driving, when, just as they
approaching abridge near Mr. Gor
don's house, the new horse began to
kick: then made a jump sideways,
which carried it entirely off the bridge
where it hung suspended by the har-ness,
being upheld there by sure-footed
docile Snowflake.
" Oh ! oh ! oh !" cried Mrs. Eighme
clinging tightly to her bandbox. " We
shall be killed—we shall be killed, and
all on account of this frightful, one-eyed,
three legged cat! Oh ! oh!"
Matters did indeed look dubious, for
the black was kicking in a way that
was frightful to see, and Snowflake
was being drawn nearer toward the
edge of the bridge.
" Grandmother, get out of the car-riage—
quick !" cried Rexa, in great
distress.
"I won't!" cried the frisky old lady.
" I do believe the cat is killed.
Drat the black horse! Drat the
black horse!"
Mr. Gordon and his grandson now
came running to the rescue, and the
latter b«gan to. cut the harness with a
knife in order that the kicking, exited
animal might fall into the stream be-low.
"Don't yon cut that harness—don't
you cut that harness ! It's a new one,
and it cost me fifty dollars! Don't
cut it, I say!" cried Mrs. Eighme.
' Bless me—bless me,ma'am !" paci
fically cried Mr. Gordon, " You don't
want the horse to hang there forever
do you."
At this moment the black fell into
the water beneath, making a great
splash, but almost instantly gained its
feet and shook off the water like a rat.
" There, now," ejaculated Mrs.
Eighme, " we are safe. And here is
the cat. I mean to throw it right
oyer your front gale, sir. Take your
cat.!"
"My cat!" cried Mr. Gordon. " I
" I never saw the creature before."
"And you dare say that, do you?
Why, I'll swear I saw you put it out
of your wagon in front of my house."
" I never did it; and never stole a
horse, either. My valuable racer, to
be driven off the bridge into the stony
creek! If I find he is injured, I will
have the law on you, ma'am !"
Mrs, Eighme gasped and was silent.
" Is that Limbereel ?" asked Rexa
addressing herself to Louis.
" I think it is," he replied with a
smile.
"But how did it happen that he is
hitched up with Snowflake ?"
" By mistake, most likely. We
found Mrs. Eighme's Amber in the
pasture this morning."
While this explanation was being
made by Louis Gordon the two older
people were glaring at each other.
Mrs. Eighme made no comments,
she had no more to say about the cat,
and only found voice to say faintly:
" I don't steal, Mr. Gordon."
" Um !" returned the old gentleman,
turning and going into the house.
The assistance of Louis was really
necessary at this crisis, and, owing to
his kindness another harness was
bought from Mr. Gordon's stable and
Amber was put into the place that
Limberheel had filled with so much
spirit.
He drove the ladies home, and Mrs.
Eighme again found voice to invite
him in, and to tender her thanks for
his services.
Louis Gordon was not the young
fellow to hold malice, especially when
it separated him from the girl he
loved, and so the lovers were made
happy again.
But Mrs. Eighme has never forgiven
Mr. Gordon, and he always thinks of
her as a f very disagreeable woman—•
very."
To Make Children Jjovely.
There is only one way, and that is
surround them by day and night with
an atmosphere of love. Restraint
and reproof may be mingled with
love, but love must be a constant ele-ment.
" I found my little girl was
growing unamiable and plain," said a
mother to us the other day, " and re-flecting
on it sadly, I could only accuse
myself of the cause therof! So I chang-ed
my management aud improved my
opportunity to praise and encourage
her, and my earnest desire that she
should grow up to lovely and harmon-ious
womanhood. As a rose opens to
sunshine, so the child heart opened in
the warmth of the constant affection
and caresses showered upon her; her
peevishness passed away, her face grew
beautiful, and now one look from me
brings her to my side obedient to my
will, and happiest when she is nearest
me.
Girls Run for Beauty.
Running is as natural to a healthy
girl as breathing, but it is carefully
trained out of them at an early age as
possible, and who ever saw a grown
woman who pos«esess that supreme
grace of motion ? To see a woman
run is to look ai a goose waddling.
Did you ever look at a frieze of Greek
girls running in any classic collection?
Did it not impress you with its beauty,
health and sweetness, its joy in living?
Could you look at the round, supple
limbs, instinct with grace and freedom
the short tuics. The lightness and
poise of the figures without feeling
that these large eyed, sound lunged
creatures were what woman was meant
to be? Many disorders of the com-plexion
come from functional difficul-ties,
and to be able to run is to possess
strong hips which bear life's burden
easily.
No. I doubt whether there ia any
Cough medicine equal to Dr. Coxe's
Wild Cherry and Seneka. Price 25
and 50 cents per bottle.
1ST. ELMO HOTEL, NOS. 317 ana 319
A.rch street, Philadelphia.—Bates re-duced
to $2 per day. The traveling
public will still find at this hotel the
same liberal provision for t h e i r come-fort.
It is located in the immediate
centre of business, and places of amus-m
e n t a n d t h e different railroad depots,
as well as all parts of the city, are
easily accessible by street cars con-s
t a n t l y passing the doors. It oflers
special inducements t o those visiting
the city f o r business or pleasure. Your
patronage is respectfully solicted.
JOSEPH M. FEGER,
oc71y- Propr
He had Charges.
He entered the central station with
blood on his ear and an officer holding
his arm, and the first words he said
were :
" I want to prefer charges against
this officer for brutality."
" Yery well," replied the segeant.
"Now, then, will you return truthful
answers to a few questions ?"
"I certainly will."
"What were you doing when arrest-ed?"
" I had just kicked a man."
"What did you say to the officer as
he took hold of you ?"
"I told him to go to Halifax."
"After he collared you what did you
do?"
"Struck at him twice, tore his coat
and jerked him to his knees. I can
lick him any day in the week!"
" And he tapped yon on the ear ?"
"Either he or a citizen who mixed
in, but I want to prefer charge all the
same. If you let these officers have
their own way they get too fresh. Just
put me down as William Thomas who
wasn't doing a blessed thing, but who
was knocked down and brutally beat-en
by a minion of the law. "
Au Outlaw's Dumb Pickets.
There lives in the wilderness section
of Columbia county a hermit, He
has wielded a destructive knife and
a revolver in half a score of tragedies,
and is constantly on the alert, expect-ing
to be assassinated. This man, who
has forfeited companionship of man-kind,
is guarded by animals that are
well-trained watchmen. He has a
magic control of the brute creation,
and he owns six large goats and an
equal number of dogs. His lonely
cabin stands in a fifteen acre field.
When he goes out plowing three of his
dogs are placed at each side of the
field at his row's end. These dogs are
trained to patrol the adjacent forest,
and no human being can approach
without being exposed by these vig-ilant
sentries.
At night the dogs and goats lie
about the cabin—the goats without the
yard inclosure and the dogs within.
When any human being approaches
these goats set up an unearthly series
of bleating. The dogs within under-stand
the signal and run furiously at
the intruder. Armed to the teeth the
proprieter hails the visitor. If found
to be a friend one word from the her-mit
silences both goats and dogs and
the guest is invited in. Thus guarded
this desperate inan says he sleeps more
securely than the Czar, because, un-like
the imperial cohorts of the lat-ter,
his faithful sentinels cannot be
bribed or otherwise rendered unsafe by
collusion with their owner's enemies.
A Hopeless Case.
John B. Furray was once a post-office
inspector, and on one occasion
was sent down into Louisiana to take
charge of an office from which the post
master had decamped. A fight arose
over the vacant position, during the
progress of which Maj. Furray re-mained
acting postmaster in the quag-mires
of Louisana, devoting all his
spare time to shaking with the ortho-dox
ague; and the longer the man
stayed the more he shook, and the
more he shook the more profane
he waxed. He had been there three
weeks or more when one morning
while the fog was rising from around
the little postoffice, Inspector Furray
sat astride a keg of buttermilk read
ng " Pilgrim's Progress." A tall lean
genus homo of the swamp entered. A
solitary suspender band held up a
pair of blue jean pants; a white felt
hat of double age rested on the man's
head and his feet were encased in a
pair of old cow bides reddened with
e.
" Howdy, pard," said the stranger,
addressing the inspector, " be >ou the
federal's agent ?"
" I'm the postoffice inspector," re-plied
Maj. Fnrray without looking up
as he waded into " Paradise Regained.''
" I'm the new postmaster," said the
stranger, tender his commission.
" Well I'll be d—d," was the only
reply as the inspector dropped his
book to the ground and gazed at his
visitor.
"Yes, sir," continued the stranger,
squirting a mouthful of tobacco juice
on the inspector's new trousers, " Yes,
sir, and I've come to be qualified."
Rising to his feet, Furray sighed, ins-pected
his visitor from head to foot,
and exclaimed: "My friend, I am
but human. I can only swear you in.
All hell can't qualify you."
—2 lbs. layer figs 17c a t B a r d ' s store.
Look Out lor that Pain, in Your Back.
I t threatens your kidneys. Let it
go on a little while and you will suffer
much more keenly, throughout the
entire system. Take—at once—Dr.
David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy, of
Bondout, N. Y., which is the most
effective medicine known for the
treatment of all diseases of the Kid-neys
and Liver, and for Malaria, as
well as t h e purification of the blood.
He Fled.
" I'm perfectly willing to do any
sort of work, ma'am," he argued as
she held the door open. " I don't ask
you to give me a meal for nothing."
"You'll earn it, will you?" she
" Certainly I will. All I ask for is
the opportunity."
" Are you particular about the
work ?"
"Not in the least. Set me at any
blessed thing."
"Yery well, I've got a hired girl
who has been running the house for a
week or so, and I haven't the moral
courage to discharge her. Come in
and work her out."
"Let me see her, ma'am. I'll go
to the back door and size her up."
He was gone about two minutes.
When he came back he nearly car-ried
the side gate off its hinges in his
hurry to get through. He didn't
even stop in the front yard, but as he
kept on he turned his face to the crack
in the door and said:
" Thank you very kindly, ma'am, but
I guess I ain't hungry and can make
these old clothing do me till next
spring!"
A Joking Woman.
" Now you say that you have always
been a loving and faithful wife and
that your husband has no cause for
complaint, do you ?" asked a lawyer
of on Indiana woman opposing her
husband's petition for a divorce.
" Yes, sir; I do say that yery thing,"
was the reply.
" You never threw sticks of wood at
him, or hot water at him, did you ?"
" Oh", I don't know but I may ha,ve
done that once or twice in a playful
way."
" Oh you did ? And were you jok-ing
when you chased him all around
the house with a red hot poker ?"
" Yes, I was; and he knows it, too."
" Didn't you sew him up in the bed
clothes one night and pound him with
a club?"
"Well, now, the idea of a man try-ing
to get a divorcement from his own
loving wife for a little joke like that!"
" Oh, so that was a ioke too, eh ?'
Was it intended for a joke when you
knocked him down the cellar and
threw three flat-irons after him ?"
" Of course it was. I always was a
joky kind of a woman."
" I should say so. You thought it
a joke when you locked him out of the
house with the thermometer below zero
and he had to sleep in the hen-roost.
That was a joke, eh ?"
" Pshaw, now! He's gone and told
you of that little caper of mine, has
he ? Well, he never could take.a joke
nohow."
" A few more of your jokes would
have killed him."
The judge thought so too, and gave
the man his " bill" whereupon his
spouse of the past said :
" The idea of a man bein' allowed a
divorcement from the true and lovin'
wife of his buzzum for a ' few little
jokes like that. There ain't no justice
in it." _ _ _ _ _ _ __
—12 boxes parlor matches 11c a doz.
at Bard's store.
"The Road to Heaven."
No other hook of modern times deals
with such a living subject, displays shch
genuine genius, has such a significant,
striking and attractive title as this new
book possesses. It contains the essence
of a thousand tones boiled into one, and
explores every field of human ex-perience,
that can engage, fascinate and
charm both the highly cultured and the
unlearned, the christian and the man of
the world.
I n the opening pages of this unparalled
work, the majesty of God is unveiled
with a pomp of language incredibly
gorgeous, and yet simple enough to
reach the mind of a child. Science is
called to testily, how God sees and hears
us and how the elements serve Him in
His watchful care of man. New light is
thrown upon the holy bible. The secrets
of the human heart are laid bare. Every
passion, affection, virtue and yice of
man is boldly yet tenderly touched by
the author's wizard pen. The book is a
mirror in which all may see themselves
and if the advice of Socrates " Know
Thyself" can ever be followed, this mag-nificent
volume certainly affords the
means.
The chapters on the Unknown God;
life, death and the glories of heaven, are
marvels of ingenious reasoning and
noble precepts. Awe, tears, laughter,
indignation, delight and fascination tread
on each other's heels as one peruses this
book. The mean, low and base are
lashed with unsparing sarcasm, while
every virtue is polished, refined and
glorified till it shines in the gracious
" Beauty of Holiness."
The book is elegantly embellished
with a beautiful galaxy of Royal Steel
Plate Illustrations, by artists of world-renown.
The most entrancing scenes
are reproduced in these charming pages,
forming a magnificent picture gallery.
The work contains over 700 massive
octavo pages and is printed from large,
clear new type, suited to every degree of
vision, on extra fine paper of admirable
finish.
I t is issued by the Globe Bible Publish-ing
Co., of Philadelphia, Pa., and sold by
subscription only. Mr. F. B. Buch, who
is the authorized agent for this section is
now canvassing for it. "We heartily re-commend
this book to our readers.
Aphorisms.
Of all vanities and fopperies, the
vanity of high birth is the greatest.
True nobility is derived from yirlue,
not from birth. Titles, indeed may be
purchased; but virtue is the only coin
that makes the bargain valid.
Caution in crediting, reserve in
speaking, and revealing one's self to
very few are the best securities both of
peace and a good understanding with
the world and with the inward peace
of our own minds.
Censure is the tax a man pays to the
public for being eminent.
The pleasantest part of a man's life
is generally that which passes in court-ship,
provided his passion be sincere
and the party beloved, kind, with dis-cretion.
Love, desire, hope, all the
pleasing nptions of the soul, rise in
the pursuit.
Despair makes despicable figure
and descends from a mean original.
Tis the offspring of fear, of laziness
and impatience; it argues a defect of
spirit and resolution, and oftentimes of
honesty, too.
Dissipation is absolutely a labor
when the round of Vanity Fair is once
made; but fashion makes us think
light of the toil, and we describe of the
circle as mechanically as a horse in a
mill.
There is no virtue that adds so noble
a charm to the finest traits of beauty
as that which exerts itself in watching
over the tranquility of an aged parent.
You could tell that bustles are no
longer worn by the difference in the
way the women sit down.
Nearly every married woman has a
a young sister who wants to live with
her.
To be a great man brings your
mother into prominence and casts your
father in the shade.
The longer a woman knows a man
the less she cares about her appearance
when with him.
A man will sign everything he is
asked to sign, but a woman will never
sign an article until she has read it
through, and asked a dozen questions
about it.
When a woman hears a young man
talking to her daughter about his sal-ary,
she puts on her bonnet and goes
over to talk to her neighbor of the
days when she was young.
Gas In the Stomach.
" What is the cause and cure of
belching? Although my meals are
not over hearty, my stomach feels full
and somewhat oppressed after eating.
Between meals, and especically for two
hours before one, the gas forces it self
up to my mouth, and the result is, the
habit is disagreeable to me as to
others."
Two or three general causes may
bring about such a condition of the
stomach,
The first cause is over-eating, by
persons whose normal digestion is no
particularly faulty. Less food—say
one third less—would be attended with
no such annoyance. But the stomach
is unequal to the amount usually tak-en,
and more or less of it ferments, in-stead
of digesting, and thus generates
certain gases.
It should be remembered that the
power of some persons to digest is weak
while that of others is vigorous. Of
course, therefore, the question of the
proper quantity of food is one to be
decided in each individual case. Again
a naturally strong stomach may have
become weakened by over much care,
confinement, within doors, lack of
healthful exercise, bad hygeine sur-roundings,
excessive brain work, insuf-ficient
sleep, or, perhaps, by habitually
eating a little too much.
The second cause of habitual belch-ing
is chronic dyspepsia. This may
have been induced by marked over-feeding,
excessive brain work, or har-rassing
career long persisted in. But,
however induced, the condition is es-sentially
the same. The digestive
fluids are much lessened in quantity,
and the action of the stomach is great-ly
weakened.
As a consequence, the food remains
too long iu the stomach, and passes out
of it sour and fermenting, beyond the
power of the bile to neutralize its acid-ity.
,
The cure, as in the former case, on
careful attention to all hygeine condi-tions,
with more or less medical, treat-ment,
all persisted in for a long time.
A third cause of belching, or a prob-able
one, is the habit of swallowing
air. It is believed by some experts
that many persons, of a peculiar ner-vous
susceptibility, uncousciously form
such a habit, since chemical analysis
shows that what is belched up, is not
gas, but atmospheric air. By the
heat of the stomach, this is of course,
greatly increased in volume. In such
cases the cure will follow the correction
of the habit.
—Thoughtful mother never neglect
to have a bottle of Dr. Coxe's Wild
Cherry and Seneka in t h e house, it is
so good for Coughs and children sub-ject
to Croup.