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YOL. i n . Ti [TITZ, PA , FRIDAY MORNING', AFRIL 16, 1880. NO. 32
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BETTER LUCK ANOTHEB YEAR,
Oh, never sink 'neath Fortunes frown,
But brave her with a shout of cheer,
And front her fairly—face her down-
She's only etern to thoso who fear !
Here's "Better luck another year—
Another year!
Aye, better luck another year !
We'll have her smile instead of sneer—
A thousand smiles for every tear,
With home made glad and goodly cheer.
And better luck another year—
Another year !
The damsel Fortune still denies
The plea that yet delights her ear ;
'Tis but our manhood that she tries—
She's copy to those who doubt and fear—
Hhe 11 grant the euit another year !
Another year !
Here's Better luck another year !"
She now denies the golden prize ;
But, spite of frown and scorn and snetr,
Be firm, and we wi 1 win and wear,
With home made glad and goodly clieer,
In better luck another year !
Another year 1 Another year !
Scientific Suicide.
"I am a miserable man," said Cyrus
Maddox, gloomily, ' 'and it is best that the
world should be rid of my presence. No
one cares for me."
"Oh, don't say that, uncle," said Lizzie
Silver, beseechingly. "You know I love
you. Tou are the only friend I have in the
world, and if you were to die what would
become of me ?''
"I suppose young Guy Cheevers would
console you for my loss," said Mr. Maddox,
grimly.
"At any rate I don't care. I will end my
troubles and sorrows to-morrow at twelve
o' clock."
And with these fearful words he strode
out of the room, leaving Lizzie sobbing,
with her curly black head resting on a din-ner-
plate.
"What's the matter now, Bess? Has the
' milliner disappointed you in your love of a
bonnet?" asked a warm, hearty voice,
which .was the property of "young Chev-ers,"
as Mr. Maddox called him—as that
gentleman strode into the room.
"Oh, Guy!" sobbed Lizzie; "Uncle Cyrus
is going to die to-morrow at twelve
' o'clock."
"How do you know?" asked Guy.
"He paid so." •
"But how does he know?"
"He's going to kill himself.'
"So as to make himself a true prophet,
eh ?" aaked Guy, laughing.
"Oh, Guy, don't joke !" Lizze, tearfully.
' 'He will—I know he will!"
"I doubt it!" said Guy, skeptically.
"But he tried to commit suicide several
times," persisted Lizzie, tearfully. "Once
he tried to smother himself with burning
charcoal; but he forgot to stop up the key-hole,
and I smelt the smoke and got some
neighbors to break open the door, and
saved him. Then he tried to hang himself,
but the cord broke, and he fired a pistol at
himself but he forgot to put any ball in it,
so that failed, and then -''
"Gracious!" cried Guy, as Lizzie stop-ped
for Want of breath; "what a determin-ed
man he must be! Such perseverance de-serves
to be rewarded. Haveyou any idea
what plan he will try next?"
"I'm sure I don't know," said Lizzie,
.mournfully. "Something dreadful, I sup-pose."
"But what does he want to make away
• with himself for?" asked Guy, wondering-
"Why, he says he is a miserable man, a
burden to every one, and that life has no
joys for him, and that he is weary of this
world "
"Andso would like to try the next?"
said Guy. "Perhaps he won't find it as
pleasant as the one he is quitting. What
an unreasonable man he must be! He is
rich, talented, healthy, and has a very-pretty
niece"—here, in a moment of ab-straction,
he allowed his arm to wonder
around Miss Silvers waist—"and what more
can he want ? But some people never are
satisfied. It seems he is determined to pry
into futurity, and it seems a pity to disap-point
so laudable an ambition; but duty—
duty to myself—compels me to interfere.
I dislike scandal or excitement. A. coron-er's
jury would cause both, therefore we
must balk his little game.
"But how?'' asked Lizzie, curiously.
"A prudent General," said Guy, haught-ily,
"never confides his plans to his army,
particularly when that army is of the fem-inine
gender—so excuse me; mum's the
word; but rest assured, my dearest Eliza-beth,
that unless your worthy uncle shuffles
off this mortal coil in a surreptitious man-ner
before twelve o'clock to-morrow, he
will not do it afterward—of course I mean
illegally. Farewell till to-morrow."
Having concluded this address, Guy
strode off in a tragic manner, leaving Liz-zie
greatly surprised, but still reassured,
for in her opinion what Guy could not do
was not worth doing;
The next morning Mr. Maddox made his
appearance very saturnine and gloomy;
and ate his breakfast with a mournful air
that was terribly impressive. Having fin-ished,
he then took leave of his niece in a
feeling manner.
"I am about to leave you," he said,
mournfully. ' 'I am about to end this life
of misery. I hope you may be happy."
"Oh, don't go," said Lizzie, tearfully,
clinging to lain, and looking up into his
face pleadingly.
"It's useless," sg,id Mr. Maddox, firmly.
"My mind is fixed, and nothing you may
say can persuade me to relinquish my pur-pose.
But you, my dear childf shall not
be unprovided for. I intend to make my
will in the few hours that are left me, and
you will not be forgotten. Good-by, my
dear child—farewell!"—and then, after
embracing his niece fervently, Mr. Maddox
rushed from the room frantically and
secure'y locked himself in his own room,
and began to prepare himself for his last
journey.
"Nine o'clock!" he said to himself look-ing
at his watch. "Three hours yet. Enough
to do all I have to do. First to make my
will."
The last will and testament of Mi'. Cyrus
Maddox was evidently not a long one, as
it wa3 finished m an hour.
. "Eleven o'clock!" said Mr. Maddox,
"and I have finished. How slow the time
passes to be sure! Now what shall I do
until t v. elve o'clock, for i am determined
not to die until noon "
A knock at the door.
"Go away!" said Mr. Maddox, angrily.
"You can't come in!"
"I am very sorry to disagree with you,"
said a voice outside the door, "but Ï can
come in.- I have a duplicate key here, and
if you don't open the door I will."
Mr. Maddox rose and unlocked the door
savagely, and Mr. Guy Chceves stalked
into the room, carrying a oblong box under
his arm.
He placed the box on the table, and then
took a seat opposite Mr. Maddox, and star-ed
blandly at him.
"What do you want?" asked Mr Mad-dox,
fiercely. "'Don't you see I'm engag-ed?"
"Oh I know," said Guy, "what you are
about to do. Don't think that I'm going
to interfere, not at all. But before you
make your quietus, 1 wish to ask you a few
questions. Have you provided for your
niece's future welfare?"
"What's that to you?"
"Considerable. I am about to marry
Miss Silver, so her interests are naturally
mine. "
"Then «he is provided for, amply."
Thank you for your information. Very
glad to hear it. And now, excuse the ap-parent
impertinence of the question, but
where is your will?"
"Here," said Mr. Maddox, laying his
hand on it.
"Suppose you give it to me to take care
of?"
"Give it to you! Why, pray?"
"It might become misplaced," explained
Guy.
"I'll keep it myself," said Mr. Mad-dox,
roughly.
"Then just leave a memorandum ont he
table,,' said Guy, earnestty, "to tell where
it is. It will save trouble, perhaps."
"Get out ¡" cried Mr. Maddox, angrily.
"Ah, I see!" said Mr. Cheevers, coolly;
"in a hurry to begin. Well, I won't de-tain
you; but I have a little suggestion to
offer."
"It is this," said Guy. "Miss Silver in-forms
me that you have made several pre-vious
efforts to cut short your trouble and
your breath, and always unsuccessfully.
Now, it seems to me you don't go the right
way about it. This box"—and here he
opened the box before alluded to—contains
several little plans that I think might please
you. Here's one"—and he showed a little
steel instrument.
"What's that?" asked Mr. Maddox, curi-ously.
"This," said Guy, "is an article that you
can place round your neck like a collar;
then, by striking your hand on the left side
of your neck, a sharp spike is driven right
into your jugular vain "
"But that would kill me?" said Mr.
Maddox staring.
*:Well, ain't that what you want?" de-manded
Guy, sternly. "Now, here's an-other,"
he went on. : "Here's a wheel, you
observe. You place this band around your
neck, pass it around the wheel, and give it
two or three turns;" then let go. The recoil
will twist your head almost off your should-ers—
kill you to a certainty. "
Mr. Maddox stared at him with unfeign-ed
horror.
"Then," went on Guy, "here's a little
package—a torpedo. It contains nitro-gly-cferine.
You place it in your month, snap
your teeth on it, and off goes your head,
smashed into millions of atoms. "
"Good heavens !" exclaimed Mr. Mad-dox,
tearfully. What a terrible idea!"
"Not at all," said Guy, soothingly,
"Beautiful invention—I quite pride myself
on it—scientific suicide, you see ! Anybody
can take poison, or blow their brains out;
but to do it scientifically requires real talent.
You have it and I am confident you will
reflect credit on my inventive skill. Now,"
he continued, confidentially, "if you could
use all three of these inventions at once—
cut your jugular, garrote yourself and blow
your head off, all at once—why, I'd thank
you."
"What!" cried Mr. Maddox, fiercely,
"do you think I'm going to use any of your
infernal inventions? Get out of this room,
you cold-blooded villain, before I throw
you out of the window!"
'But I have a great many more to show
you," demonstrated Guy; "and yoti see I
want you to try as many as possible. Well,
well" he added, as Mr. Maddox grasped'
the poker threateningly, "I'm going. But
I'll leave this box here, and bfefore you get
rid of yourself, just make a memorandum
of what you will use, and leave it on the
table, because, you know, there will proba-bly
be nothing left of you to draw conclu-sions
from, and so——"
Here any further speech was cut short
by Mr. Maddox seizing his visitor, and
hustling him out into the passage.
"Well," said Lizzie, anxiously, to Guy.
"I think it's all right." said Guy, grin-ning.
"Get the lunch ready, Your uncle
is all right. He'll be down."
And sure enough, so he was; and though
he spoke not, he eat most voraciously of
everything.
•"Lizzie," said he, suddenly, after an
hour's pause, "did yon ever see an infernal
old fool and idiot?"'
"Never, that I know of," said Lizzie.
"Why?"
"Because, just look at me, and you'll
sèe. one," said Mr. Maddox, grimly, and he
stalked up-stairs.
Up to the present tinje of writiDg, Mr.
Cyrus Maddox is still alive, en joying re-markably
good health, and he seems to be
on friendly terms with Mr." Cheevers, and
his wife Lizzie. He probably forgave that
gentleman on account of a discovery that
he made that the nitro-glycerine"' torpédo
contained nothing more dangerous than
salt, and the other "infereal inventions"
were infernal in about the same ratio; but
Guy still maintains that when a person is
weary of life they should ease their troubles
by scientific suicide.
our Helt-Xand iieïgïiïjors.
The house is a comfortable-looking
brown house,, nearly surrounded by veran-dahs.
It is situated in a large yard, where
there are many fruit trees. As you enter
the door you find yourself in a large, pleas-ant
room. There are easy chairs before the
windows, inviting you in their quiet way
to repose. Between the windows there is
a pretty little table which is neither ma-hogany
nor rose-wood, toward witich-your
eyes always wander, for there is always to
be found on it an old-fashioned silver
basket, filled with fruit varying with the
seasons; in winter ro3y apples and golden
oranges, in autumn purple grapes. Behind
the Are is an ottoman whereon a large, be-nevolent-
looking cat is generally to be found.
The family consists of three persons, a
man, his wife and a daughter.* The man is
about middle height, ana looks to be on the
shady side of iorty. His greatest aim in
life seems to be to go a fishing. He is a
p.erson of whom we say "out of sight, out
of mind." The lady looks younger than
her husband. She wears her hair in the
fashion of twenty years ago—-two curls be-hind
her respective ears, and the remaining
two or three hairs in a small-sized net
on the back of her head ; it calls up
the thought that possibly there may be a
door somewhere there, and that is the knob.
Her teeth, of which she has but few, look
older than she is. One of theni has a par-ticularly
downcast expression, as it drops
despondently over her lower lip. She
dresses peculiarly, looking as if she had
never come to the end of her wedding tros-seau.
She is generous and open-hearted.
Also, she is seriously inclined to gossip, and
irresisibly given to exaggeration. When
you are m need of advice she can always
supply you, on any and all subjects. She
has been heard frequently to boast that
there is no man she is afraid of; and her
hilsband never argues the point with her.
Some people know when they are well off.
Her. daughter, a girl of nineteen, is her-self
moderated. She has a, retrousse nose,
and sandy hair, inclined to a carroty shade.
She has what is called vegetable beauty.
This family have a dog. It is not a vic-ious
dog, for, judging from the large amount
of bark, there can be very little bite. The
family think everything of the animal—
the man because it is of such a fine breed,
the ladies because it keeps off burglars. It
does keep off burglars, by keeping the
neighbors on the alert. Several obituaries
have been written, in case this dog should
die.
This dog occasionally gets away. This
is the signal for a commotion. The lady
drops her knitting and runs after the ani-mal,
and all the small boys and girls follow.
Jumping from curbing _ to road and from
road to gutter, heated and excited, scolding
and exhorting, this left-hand neighbor gives
earnest chase. The number of pursuers in-creases
at every block.' The policeman
stands on the^. corner, wondering whether
the dog is mad or the people are. Several
baby carriages have fallen into the ranks,
and all the dogs for three miles around.
The neighbors, thinking of fire and other
dreadful things, rush to the windows and
see one dog gambolling along, followed by
a very excited woman, and the juvenile
portion of the neighborhood. They hear
abov3 the din caused by drivers, babies and
dogs, a sharp, shrill voice, telling Jennie,
the dog, to perambulate gently home and
expatiating on the animal's waywardness.
Finally the dog is caught and the procession
files peacefully home. A hush settles down,
and the only sound that disturbs this se-renity
is the barking of the dog.
A Tame Otter.
Killed at a Tournament.
Henry the Second, of France, who ex-celled
in every exercise of chivalry, was
peculiarly fond of tournaments, and gave a
splendid succession of them on the niar-riage,
by proxy, of Elizabeth, to Philip II.,
at Paris. . The lists extended from the Pal-ace
of the Tournelles to the Bastile, across
the streets of San Antoine. In the first two
-days the "king broke several lances with
lords of his court, in all of which he showed
extraordinary vigor and address. On the
third day of the tournament, June 80,
1559, toward thé close of the evening, and
the conclusion, Henry showed a great in-clination
to try his prowess against the
Count de Montgomeri, captain of his Life
Guards, who had formerly wounded Francis
I. so dangerously on the head, at Romo-rentin
in Beri, and was distinguished for
his superior address in these combats above
any nobleman in the kingdom. Catherine
de Medici, as if by a secret presage of the
event, entreated the king not to re-enter the
lists ; but he resisted her solicitations, say-ing
he would break one lance more in her
honor. Montgomeri accepted the chal-lenge
with great reluctance. Henry com-manded
him to obey, and even fought with
his vizor raised ; but the authors are not
quite agreed whether it was raised inten-tionally,
or. flew opeiï by a blow from
Montgomeri's lance, in an encounter which
was so violent that the count's lancé broke
against the king's helmet ; he then fought
with the stump which remained in his hand,
and with it had the misfortune to strike the
king so violent a blow under the eyes which
threw Mm to thè ground, and deprived him
instantly of both speech and understanding,
though lie lived eleven days afterward.
This circumstance occasioned the suppres-sion
of tournaments in France.
A recent writer in an English paper says:
Not long ago, taking a walk down by the
Thrum mill, near Rothbury on the Coquet,
to exercise our dogs, on getting to the top
of the rocks one of the puppies gave tongue
and out came an otter with two whelps by
her side, making for the river. .He got in
front when the mother gained the rocks,
but we secured the two whelps, We took
them home and put tbem with Bell, an
otter hound, who had a litter of three pup-pies:
One of the whelps died, but the other
took to the hound, and throve famous^; he
mixed with the puppies, but fought like a
demon, and was soon master of the situa-tion.
Wherever they went he went with
them, lighting everything he met with. He
also became a pet with all the household,
who never missed a chance of feeding him.
His special treat was bowls of milk and
broth ; to get these he would find his way
into dairies, larders, etc. Thus he went
on, until he had to enter the puppies for
otter hunting. We had him fastened in a
yard with high walls, as we felt sure, if we
took him with us, he would join his own
species. On our return he bullied and
fought the entire kennel of five. About a
week after I had to go to Brinkbarn priory,
and took the dogs with me. "Sandy," the
tame otter, would go, and into the Coquet
they soon got on the lair of an otter. They
swam him through a deep pool, when he
took to the bushes. Soon I saw Sandy side
by side with Refus, close to the wild otter.
I said farewell to Sandy, but presently I
heard the pleasant sound, "worry, worry;"
I thought Refus had him, but, on coming
in sight, to my astonishment, Sandy had
him fast by the neck and .held him fast un-til
the dogs came up. From that time he
was the leader in all our hunts, and was in
at the death of nearly twenty otters. He
became, however, a perfect terror to all the
dogs in the village, and district; fighting
was his motto. I well remember Mr. Wea-thens
had a big lurcher and greyhound,
wlio took to fighting; a great, powerful
animal, his long jaws and quick movements
beat the whole district. One day he was in
Eoxbury, and soon had poor Refus dead
beat. "Let out, Sandy, Geordie." No
sooner said than done. Sandy at once saw
poor Refus's condition, and flew at the
lurcher—got him by the foreleg, when the
lurcher turned to bite. On seeing Sandy,
however, he was terror-stricken, and, giv-ing
a most unearthly yell, bolted up the
town with Sandy after him. The dog's
master could never get him to pass through
the town again. But, alas! poor Sandy
soon came to his end. Love of broth led
him into tne larder of the Star inn. The
cook, finding him wallowing in the broth,
struck him with the wooden ladle, more to
frighten than to hurt him; but his skull
was fractured, and after lingering for some
days, he died, to the inexpressible regret of
all. who knew him.
longitudinally with steel wedges in order to
examine its condition. The post was of
pitch pine, about the most inflammable
wood I know, and yet, after exposure for
seven hours to fire the fury of which could
not be exceeded except in blast furnaces, it
contained and still contains within it a
quantity of perfectly uninjured and appar-ently
fresh wood, probably capable at this
moment of supporting the whole weight
the original post can have been designed to
carry. Immediately after the saw-cut, and
again after the cleaving with steel wedges,
I carefully examined the centre, and found
it just perceptibly warm to the touch, but
nothing more, thus proving that the fibre,
in which the strength lies, must have been
quite Uninjured. The lesson to be drawn
from this I take to be as follows:—A mas-sive
story-post of even the most inflamma-ble
wood is absolutely and perfectly proof
against any heat which can be applied to
it, wili not of itself burn at all, but requires
a continual supply of highly inflammable
substances to keep it burning, and, when
this supply is withdrawn, ceases to burn;
and lastly, after being exposed for seven
hours to flames of very great intensity, is
not injured to a greater depth than about
two inches from the original outer surface,
and still shows a centre as clean and fresh
as when it was first put in. There may be
other materials suitable for this purpose
which are. capable of resisting the effects of
heat; and, if so, I hope we may one day
hear of them ; but in the meanwhile I ven-ture
to submit what I consider to be strong
practical testimony in favor of massive
timber for the internal supports of heavily
loaded buildings.
Ail Intelligent Dog.
"The Bights of an American.'
He was about five foot five or therea-bouts,
stoutly built, and dressed in a suit of
faded black. His face was round and
somewhat studious in expression, to which
a heavy pair of glasses greatly added. In
either hand was a carpet bag of ancient
style, *wliile the high hat was of the kind
which went out of date, in the Spring of
1859. He came through the long hall of
the Central Depot with the air of a man
who considers no one his superior, but
when the man at the gate said, "ticket,
'sir," he looked rather wild. "What am I,
a hog?" he muttered, dropping both carpet
bags in the doorway. The doorkeeper
quietly pushed the carpet bags aside, and
the crowd went in and out, while the old
man raised both hands and delared he had
been twenty-seven years in this country
and had "the rights of an American. '' The
passage-way was blocked in a moment, and
then Detectives Kavanagh and Brown
came, but he would go no way save to the
train. He had a ticket for Buffalo, but
would show it only to the conductor. The
officers saw at once that it was a peculiar
case and at once seized his bags and him-self
and rushed him into the depot, he at
all times protesting about his long residence
in America and his rights. Then he was
placed on the train, but with some diffi-culty,
his loud tone and active gesticula-tions
affording amusement to the crowd at-tracted
to him. Once inside the car he
quietly sat down beside his carpet-bags,
muttering over and over, "My ticket, yes,
I keep ray ticket all right."
Sagacity of the Dog,
Knife and Forlì Flirtation,
. To drop your knife means, "I am badly
bored."
To eat with your knife means, I am not
posted."
To drop your fork means, "I am desper-ately
in love." '
To wipe your knife on the table cloth
means, "All right."
To stir your coffee, with a fork means,
"'How sweet you are."
To eat soup with a fork means, "You
are very beautiful." ,
To whet your knife on your fork means,
"You see I am sharp."
To cut your mouth with a knife mean's,
"I am very impatient."
To pick your teeth with a fork means, •
"I am the pick of the lot."
To wipe your nose on a napkin, means,
"i am making a fool of myself."
John Quincy Adams in a letter written to
a triend in Boston, says: "In the summer
of 1800 I traveled with my family from
Berlin by - the way of Frankfort upon the
Oder into Silesia, and returned in the Au-tumn
by the way ot Dresden and Leipzig.
At this latter city we halted and spent there
three or four weeks. Whitcomb and his
dog Pincher were with us through the
whole tour. When we left Leipzig and re-turned
to Berlin, Pincher was accidentally
left behind, an event which was not dis-covered
until we were some seven miles ad-vanced
on our Wi^y, and he was given over orf
About ten dajs after we reached Berlin lost
Pincher made her appearance, as ragged
and gaunt as a wolf in January, on a land
covered with snow and with limbs stiffened
so that he could scarcely move, from
which, however, he soon recovered to his
usual strength and vivacity. The distance
from Leipzig to Berlin was about 100
miies. How Pincher has found his way
home we never knew. The road by which
we had gone from Berlin was in the oppo-site
direction, and he never traveled the
direct road from Leipzig to Berlin. This
occurrence, therefore, indicated a faculty in
the dog more comprehensive than that of me-mory,
perhaps an exquisiteness of scent, of
which I can yet scarcely form a concep-tion.
Wosd and Iron In Fires.
Captain Shaw of the Fire Brigade of
London, writes as follows in relation to the
respective utility of wood and iron for in-ternal
supports of buildings. A few
months since a fire occurred in one of the
enormous warehouses for which the docks
of this metropolis are. remarkable, and
raged with great fury from a little before
six in the morning until about eleven in the
forenoon, when it was extinguished, and a
very large proportion of the building and
its contents saved. The warehouse was
constructed of brick walls ; it had wooden
floors, supported on wooden beams, which
in their turn were earned on wooden story-posts,
about twelve inches thick ; - and, al-though
sei i JUS damage was. done, not one
portion of the heavy woodwork was de-stroyed.
After the fire we was allowed to
remove one of the story-posts, with a sec-tion
of the beams and other parts surround-ing
it above and below. This post had
been subjected to the full action of the fire
during the whole of its duration, as already
mentioned, or, making full allowance for
everything, including the delay of the lire
attacking the particular spot on which it
stood and the time at which the cooling
process commenced certainly not less than
four and one-half hours. . As we had used
large quantities of water, and it was pro-bable
that the wood might have been some-what
saturated, I had it carefully dried for
several days before a strong fire, until not
a trace of moisture remained in it. I then
set it on end in an open yard, exactly as it
had stood in the warehouse, with the pe-destal
underneath, the cap -above, and the
beam across the cap, placed more -than a
ton of shavings, light wood, and heavy
wood round it, and, after saturating the
whole heap with petroleum, applied a light
torch. After this I kept men pumping pe-troleum
and turpentine on it until my stock
was exhausted. At the end of two-and-a
half hours I withdrew the post, beam and
other parts from the fire, and within a few
minutes from the time-at which they were
withdrawn they ceased to burn. I then
sawed off horizontally a few feet at" that
part which had suffered most from the
flames, and afterwards split the same piece
He was a pure Newfoundland, with
nice, broad head and beautiful light brown
eyes, and such a sweet expression at the
corners of his mouth you would be sure to
think he was smiling. A more affectionate
heart never beat than that beneath the
shaggy breast of our dog Custer. We
trained him to hold the halter in his mouth
and lead the horses away, and he was very
proud to be allowed this honor, and would
wag his big, bushy tail in a satisfied way,
and hold his head high in order to -look as
dignified as possible, 1 suppose, . His tricks,
and accomplishments were many. He
could carry two eggs in his huge mouth
and never break one. He could turn a
knob as well as any one, and on entering a
room would always turn around and put
his paw on the door to close it. If this
failed he would jump upon the door, taking
care not to scratch with his nails. He was
more intelligent than many men I have
seen, and if any one sat down in the house
without doffing his hat Custer would steal
stealthily up behind him and pull it off,
then dropping it on the floor at the side of
his chair would walk quietly away and lie
down, as one who had performed a duty.
We' would wrap a few pennies in a paper
and send him with it in his mouth to a
store for candy, of which he was very fond.
He would never give it to any one but one
clerK, with whom he was acquainted, and
would bring the candy home untouched,
but after delivering it to us would stand
expectedly by, wagging his tail and waiting
for the sweet m®rsel he knew he was sure
to get. He was fond of milk, too, but
would carry it faithfully to our pet lamb;
and though he would glance lovingly into
the pail occasionally, he was never known
to betray our trust or steal one sip of the
coveted beverage. We could send him to
a remote part of -the house for any article,
and he would be sure to understand and
bring it to us if he could find it, and he
generally found whatever he searched for.
I would say: "Custer, bring my overshoes
from the hall." He would get up and
yawn, perhaps, and look up in my-face
with a dog-smile, as though he said: "You
lazy girl, why did you disturb my pleasant
dream?" then turn the knob of the hall
door and in a moment return to me with
both rubbers in the cavernous depths of his
great red mouth. I would say: "Bring
me my thimble. It is upstairs on the win-dow.".
He would turn his grand, glossy
head first on- one side, then on the other,
and look at me in a puzzling way, as though
trying to fix it upon his memory, then turn
slowly away to do his errand. Sometimes
on the.way he would seem to forget and
come back to me, looking very much
ashamed, dropping his wide, curly ears and
peering at me from the top of his eyes.
Then 1 would repeat my demand, and he
would run friskily away again, and come
back with the thimble hidden in his mouth.
Often he would tantalize me playfully and
refuse to give it to me, shaking his head in
a mischievous way, and keeping just out
of my reach as I ran toward him.
Queer Cats.
There are very many anecdotes told of
horses, dogs and birds, but very few about
cats ; and as this is hardly, fair to the cat
creation, the following instances at least de-serve
a mention; There is a certain truck-man
residing in New York, wko owns a
cat with some very uneatable peculiarities.
She is a Malta, and about three years old.
Her feature of attraction is the manner in
which she greets every person that enters
her owner's abode. No dog, on the return
of a long absent master, could appear more
joyful or frisk and caper about with greater
agility than this extraordinary cat on the
appearance of a visitor. If her dancing
and frisking about do not at once attract
their attention, she gives a succession of
calls peculiar to her kind, that are certain
to have the desired effect. These strange
actions and cries she generally keeps up for
ten or fifteen minutes and then quietly re-tires
to her place under the stove. " Her
owners say that she differs in no other way
from the generality of cats, but that- she
will leavfe her dinner or her kittens oh the
appearance of a stranger and never cease
until to her thinking the rather noisy wel-come
is complete. And should twelve dif-ferent
persons call in one day, twelve times
would pussy go through her peculiar greet-ing.
Among other "queer cats" that have
come under the writer's notice, was an Isle
of Wight or tailless cat. Dick, as he was
called, was not only afflicted with an ex-tremely
sensitive disposition, but with the
faculty of expressing his feelings in his
face. He never had been what is termed
a sociable cat, no one save his master ever
ventured further than to gently stroke his
back, and not even from him would Dick
put up with much. One morning before
breakfast his master ordered him, rather
crossly, from the centre of the hearth-rug;
and his own description of the look that
Dick gave him in return, as he slowly re-tired
from the room, was that it haunted
him for days after. Some time after this
he again had occasion to scold the cat, and
he disappeared for more than a week and
presented a most dejected and forlorn ap-pearance
on his return. A month later the
same gentleman, on entering his breakfast-room
perceived Dick with his paws on the
table and his whiskers in the milk, for
which he gave him a box on the ear.
Dick, unlike cats when caught stealing,
slowly walked from the table to the oj e i
door, and after giving his master a long, re-proachful
look, walked out of the house
and towards the woods, and was never
again seen or heard of. Another New
England cat, known as Debby, formed a
life-long attachment to a canary bird, and
at one time actually fought and chased
away another cat that was meditating the
bird for a dinner. Incredulous persons
were allowed to place the bird cage on the
floor, with no other company than Debby,
and watch the proceedings from a chink in
the door. She would generally sit down
by the cage as if on guard, but never in
any way molest her helpless little compan-ion.
Another cat in the neighborhood
used to annoy her mistress by constantly
catching pigeons, young chickens and birds,
and bringing them directly to her feet.
No matter if she were receiving a roomful
of company, puss, with a peculiar purr of
satisfaction, would lay her prey before the
lady, and there leave it." Another of the fe-line
tribe, with wonderful persistence, fol-lowed
beneath his owner's carriage, after
the • manner of the Danish carriage-dog. rfihis cat would never be touched by any
one but his master, and by whom he was
taught a number of little tricks.
"The Gal's Yonrn,"
Chased toy a Water
William H. Hallock, who not long ago
was a passenger 'on a steamship of the Pa-cific
Mail Company, tells of an exciting ex-perience
while the ship was off the coast of
Gautemala. A water spout of tremendous
power suddenly appeared ..near the ship.
In the midst of the consternation the cap-tain
ordered his course reversed and soon
the steamer • was driving along, with the
water spout in pursuit. Its crest was hid-den
in a dark mass of cloud, its base seem-ing
to operate like an immense revolving
cullender, while the entire external peri-phery
formed a cushion of foam, over
which the sea bird screamed, occasionally
seizing upon the dead fish which came
within reach. The spout itself formed a
sort of spiral cylinder, streaked with
opaque parallel lines through its whole
length, from the surface of the sea upward.
These lines were evidently aseending col-umns
of water, for afterward, when tho
upper and lower sections became detached,
the accumulated volume of water overhead
immediately began its descent within the
body of the spout, as though it had been
the valve of an immense syringe. The
water thus released must have been equal
to several tons, as it. was solid and almost
black and returned to the sea With a loud
roar, all the other parts of the serial struc-ture
gradually dissipating. Perhaps the
mo t singular of all was the serpentine
io.-m assumed by the section nearest the
clouds, which moved, off at first almost
horizontally, and then turned upon its^Jf in
a perfect coil, so that for a moment, when
the end of. the aqueous rope—or whatever
it was—wi ched around squarely to the
eye of the observer, showing a section, it
resembled a ball of ink. When the spout,
was in its finest condition lightning several
times flew: through the penumbra in zig-zag
courses, making a spectacle not only
terrible in the manifestation of power, but
sublime and beautiful.
It is not intended that some men shall
marry peacefully. Bill Skittles lives in
South Arkansas. For the past six months he
has been studying for the ministry and it oc-curred
to Bill several days ago that just be-fore
instituting a revival it would be ^ good
idea to get married.^ He mentioned the
subject to a young lady and asked her to
share his ministerial melancholy and hilar-ity,
but the young lady said she had prom-ised
to marry Zeb. Monk, the professional
well cleaner of the neighborhood. "Oh,
well." said the minister, "I am pretty well
acquainted with Zeb. and I don't believe
he'd kick," The young lady ftnallyagreed
and the wedding day was fixed.
Grand preparations were made. The
girl's brothers had caught a couple of 'pos-sums
and the old lady had baked an im-mense
sweet potato pie. The justice of
the peace arrived. The parties took their
places. The justice proceeded with the
ceremony, when Zeb. Monk walked in and
demanded:
"Let up thar, boss. Say, capn'n turn
that gal loose."
"I reckon I wont," replied Bill.
"Well, then," said Zeb. drawiug a re-volver,
"I'll kinder resort to extremities.'
_ "See here," remarked Bill, "are you in
earnest about this thing?"
"Ireckon I am,"
"Do you mean hog's head and turnip
greens ?"
"I reckon I do."
"Right4own to corn bread, and cab-bages?"
"I reckon it is."
"Well, then, you can take the gal. It
was only sweet milk and pie with me. I'm
in fun. I had a new pair of trousers arid
didn't know what to do with 'em. Come
a little closer. Is it spar ribs and back-bones?"
"I reckon it is." 1 ''fiien I know the gal's your," and, with
a slight change in the license, the marriage
proceeded.
A Lively Corpse.
A stock owner went out the other dayover
the divide m Nevada, to see how hislSulls
were standing the rigorous weather, and
found a large, fine steer, in his last long
" iep. The stock man had to roll him over
to see the brand, and he has regretted his
curiosity ever since. He told me the brand
looked like a Roman candle making about
2,000 revolutions per minute and with 187
more prismatic colors than he thqught were
in existence. Sometimes a steer is not
dead but in a cold sleepy stupor which
precedes death, and when stirred up a little
and irritated because he cannot die without
turning over and showing his brand, he
musters his remaining strength and kicks
the inquisitive stock man so high that he
can see and recognize the features of his
departed friends. That was the way it
happened on this occasion. The stock man
fell in the branohes of a pine tree on Jack
Creek, net dead but very thoughtful. He
said he was near enough to hear the rush
of wings and was just going to register and
engage a room in the New Jerusalem when
he returned to consciousness.
B R I E F S .
—The regular charge for cremating a
body-is $35.
—During the past year 16,000 per-sons
left British India for British eolo-
•nies.
—The estate of the late A. E. Borie,
of Philadelphia, is valued at $1,150,-
000.
—If we didn't have any government
officials in this country, we would save
$32,000,000 a year.
—Mr. Tisli Smart, one of the cham-pion
skaters of the world, has made
twelve miles in 28^ minutes.
—A medal is to be presented to all
the men engaged in the St. Gotliard
tunnel.
—The late R'chard Frothingham of
Boston, left $203,000, mostly in personal
property.
—Arkansas has received a larger im-migration
within the last three years
than it did in seven preceeding,
—The Union Pacific Railroad is go-ing
to provide emigrant sleeping ears,
without increase of rates.
—Hawkins has of late years been re-vived
in England, and finds a few en-thusiastic
votaries.
—C. Bazaine, nephew of tlie French
marshal, is keeping a liquor ship in
Minneapolis, Minesota.
—The wool clip of 1879 amounted to
133,560,000 pounds, the largest ever
shorn in this country.
—The Chinese Government have de-cided
on establishing a complete system
of telegraphing through China.
—The total number of fires in Paris
in 1879 (chimneys excepted) was 1.049.
The loss was a little over $1.000.000.
—There were 6,147 marriages in
Philadelphia in 1879. Of 3,648 both
parties were natives of this country.
—A practicing lawyer of Mobile, Mr.
John A. Cuthbert, was an officer in
the- war of 1812 and a Congressman in
1819.
—The Duke of Hamilton offers all
his dogs for sale, having given up
coursing.
—Mr. John I. Blair, of New Jersey,
is President or main stockholder in
fourteen railroads with a mileage of
1,759 miles.
Professor Peirce, of Yale, expresses
the^opinion that the comet recently dis-covered
Is the wonderful comet of 1843
on its return,
—There, are 60,000. locomotives in the
United States, and each contains 2,800
different pieces, requiring -renewal .
every ten or twelve years.
—The average life of a paper wheel
under trucks of locomotive engines
ranges from 300,000 to 1,641,880 miles
and under dining and palace cars from
794,000 to 878,336 miles.
—Kansas promises a wheat yield of
30,000,000 bushels, this - year. The
acreage is 20 per cent, larger than last .
year, and the condition of the crop 50
per cent, better.
—Four great-grandchildren of John
C. Calhoun are now living—Andrew
Pickens Calhoun, of Texas, James Ed-ward
Calhoun, of Arkansas, Edward
Noble Calhoun", of Florida, and Isa-bella
Lee, of New York.
—A French veterinary surgeon has
discovered that,vaccinnation may be
usefully applied to dogs. It apparent-ly
prevents the development of those
diseases that in many cases prove fatal
to pups.
—A new museum lias been opened ai
Paris, which contains ali the artistic
furniture belonging to the Kings of
France from the time of Louis XIII. up
to the present day, and which was ac-cumulated
in that unique building
known as the "Garde-Meuble."
—Some time ago Miss Hestor Parker,
of Bangor, Me., pressed a number of
very pretty autumn leaves and sent
them to the Queen of Spain at Madrid.
Recently Miss Parker got an autograph
letter from the Queen, acknowledging
the receipt of the leaves.
— Boston is carrying oil the manu-facture
of isinglass quite extensively,
giving employment to many fisherman's
wives, who collect the sounds of the
lake. Refined isinglass is used in the
manufacture of varnish and in the set-tling
of lager beer.
—The first organization of colored
Grangers was recently perfected at
Dallas, Texas when a large number of
negroes met and formed what they call
"The Texas Farmers' Associotion."
None but colored families are admitted,
and the object of the organization is to
procure homesteads,
—A house built in 1639 still stands in
Dedham, Mass., and is the oldest in
\ ew England. It is beautifully situ-ated
unaer heavily branching elms,
with a moss-covered roof. Much of the
original furniture, 240 years of age,
still remains,'and h<is been in the pos-session
of one family, named Fairbanks,
during all of that time:
—Half-breed Indian girls are used in
Montana as domestics, because, being
cast out by their tribes, they are will-ing
to work without wages. A move-ment
is on foot in Helena to see that
they hereafter shall be given proper
schooling.
—The late Daniel Fish, of Lansing-burg,
N. Y.. gave $10,C00 to Boston
University, $5000 each to Syracuse
University, Trov Conference Academy,
and the Meihodist Gtiurch at Saratoga,
and $2000 each to the Methodist C> urch
in Lansingburg and the Baptist Church
in Ira, Yt. His estate was valued -aï
$210,000.
—The following are the figures of a
few of our staple products for 1879 :
Cotton, 5,216S0L'3 bales; wheat, 448,-
755,000 bushels; 'corn, 1,544,898.000
bushels ; rve, 23,646,500 bushels : bar-ley,
40.184",200 bushels ; oats, 864,253,-
000 bushels; potatoes, 118,369,0000
bushels ; hav, 35,648,000 tons ; tobacco,
384,059,639 pounds,
—The length of the actual St. Goth-ard
tunnel is nine miles and three hun-dred
and seventy-five yards, while that
of the Mount Cenis is rather more than
a mile and a half less. The rate at
which the rock -was bored between
Modane and Bardoneche amazed me-chanicians
a dozen years Since. But
the daily progress made under the St.
Gothard has been more than double.
The contractor agreed that the work
should be finished within eight years.
The actual time has been seven months
less than the sti ulated term,