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Oldest Newspaper in the Wyoming Valley. PITTSTON, LUZERNE CO., PA., FRIDAY: MAY 15, 1896. A Weekly Local and Family Journal. r»I8W!fr„ WSTABLISnEP 1850. I VOL. XJLV1. NO. 40 f "Your stroke, sir," I said, "and let me tell yon that Fairbairn is a long way higher up the ladder than I fancy you think he is—from your remark." country, l'tae next day He was seen vigorously whacking a huge boulder with a stick and shouting a varied assortment of English oaths at the top of his voice. Somebody asked him what was the matter. "This white man's game," said the native. "Welly good gamo, white man's game." lar to tnat or ner portrait—cne onin uplifted, the eyes dreamy, yet searching.A BIO COAL DUAL IMPORTANT RAILROAD MOVE. PHYLLIS AND CORYDON PRANKS OF A ZULU. .ARNA, tAAHATMAS, THEOSOPHY, A DANGEROUS BIRD. Phyllis took a reCl rose from the tangles of her hair- Ttiae, the golden age, the place, Arcadia, anywhere. HE WAS ONLY A BOWERY BOY OFF THESTAGE; BUT HE WAS WILD. Devotees of the Oceult Have an Klectlon What will Happen Some Day to a Hunter PltUton Men a Tract In Schuylkill Ooaiity. The meeting of the Thgosopliists in New York to elect a successor to the late William Q. Ju'lge, was a l&rge occasion for the disciples of occultism. In describing one of the meetings, following the election, the New York Sun has this breezy description: and a Dig Time. "8ome of these days," said the longshore hunter, "I expect to open my daily paper" and see a headline something like this, 'Killed by a blue heron,' and I'll tell you why. The blue heron is a big, powerful bird which has already badly disfigured the faces of sev eral men. The men have wounded a bird, and then, thinking to captqre it alive, they went up to it. Why, I would as soon try to kiss a wounded grizzly. of Blue Herons. Gordigiani is her lifelong friend; in fact, it was at the suggestion and under the direction of his father that she went on the stage. The most striking thing about this famous portrait is the opal ring on the right hand. It seems to be a living coal of fire. One Bees it even before the odd, fascinating face, and if it were not broad daylight one might fancy it is not true art, but a trick like that said to be practiced by the exhibitors of Marcele de Suchorowsky's "Nana." A big deal in Schuylkill coal land has just been consummated. Mine Superintendent Richard Malnwaring and Charles B. Streng, of West Plttston, have secured a lease on the Ronaldson and the Navigation tracts located near Pottsville, with the ntentlon of organizing a company composed of local capital to work the same. The land leased is said to be very valuable. In all there are 437 aores, with fifteen veins of coal. It is estimated that there are 35,000 000 tons cf coal on the property. It la in a splendid looatlon, being traversed by three railroads, the Philadelphia and Beading, the Lehigh Valley and the Penn sylvania. The tract is bounded by the fork Farm colliery property of the Lehigh Valley oompany ; the Chamberlain'Goal Company tract, recently purchased by Dr. J. N. Bice, of Scranton, and others; the the Williams Coal Company tract, which has turned out so profitable, and the lands of the Philadelphia and Beading Coal and Iron Oompany. It is the purpose of the leaaeea to at once organize a oompany for the development of the land. Central Trains May Run Into the "Nonsense!" rejoined the old gentleman, as he slammed the red into a bottom pocket. He Scared the Night Watchman Almost Into Fits with His Pasteboard Hatchet, Hair-Mat Wig, War Paint and Wild Heart of Pittston. Phyllis langlied. the saucy Jade, "Sir Shepher, will have this? "Or, (bashful god of skipping lambs ami oaten reedl) a kiss?" I went on with my stroke, and before I left we arranged to meet at Blank's. Gibberish, Why It was Incredible. As the sale progressed I procured some of the minor items marked, and my Carlylo and Thackeray letters wero bought by Hay himself, who Lid more Mian I had paid for them on the proceding Tuesday. In private life William Huggafd is a tall, lanky lad of 16 years, with a genius for going to sleep on al) occasions, suitable and unsuitable. Officially he is a Zulu chief, with a formidable assegai, a hair mat wig, and enough war paint to coat a house, those being his "props" in a farce called "The Jay Circus," which has been running in New York. Every one knows that Trieste forms a part of the "unredeemed Italy" which still belongs to Austria, but sighs to become a part of her own country. At a church in that city a traveller was shown a large number of votive offer ings, and among them a silver mouse, which had been presented by a lady whoso house was horribly infested by such vermin. After this gift to the Madonna the nuisance entirely disap peared. "Do you believe that?' inquired the skeptical traveler. OVER ERIE AND WYOMING TRACKS Bethink thee, gentle Corydon. A rose lasts all night long; A kiss but slips from your lips like robin's evening song. At the afternoon session the mystery was so thick that one could hardly breathe, even in the hallway outside the meeting room. Within were only those who had penetrated to the depth of esoteric lore, such as Claude Falls Wright, Dr. Buch, Mr. Page, Mr. Neresheimer, and such. They entered reverently and a deep silence reigned. Outride in the hallway were collected about 100 of the less advanced. .Quite late the newly elected President, Earnest T. Hnrgrove made his appearance in the hallway. A Plan, Which, 11 Carried Ont, Will Be of Considerable Value to ThU Nelgbborhood-By Building Only a Mile of Road the Two Line* Can Be Connected, t" A kiss that goes where no one knows, a rose, a crimson rose. Oorydoii made his choice and took—well, which do you suppose? " It was very funny to watch the auctioneer as he announced "Two early letters by John Fairbairn." His actions were lost on -Mr. Hay, who was examining one of his purchases, but.as a bid of $10 was quietly offered by one of my agents, I whisered to Hay, "Fairbairn's letters are being offered." "The birds grow as tall as six feet and have necks like a fish rod and just the kind of muscles to move it the quickest with the most strength. They could drive their bill points through a quarter inch panel. -Life. The opal is the favorite stone of Duse; certainly it is a very beautiful one. as full of odd, changing lights and as failed as her wonderful self. President Maxwell, the energetic head of the Central Railroad of New Jersey, is taking an aotlve and practical interest in the development of this section, and it bodes well for the future. It will be recalled that Mr. Maxwell is one of the prime mov • ers in the Spring Brook Supply Company, wjrfch has gained control of the water franchisee of the entire Wyoming Valley. Now we fiad him one of the movers in a plan which hae for its purpose the bringing of the great Jersey Central Railroad Into oloeer touch with Plttstoa and lte Immediate vicinity. In brief, the plan is to make a traffic arrangement between the Central Railroad of New Jersey and the Erie and Wyoming Valley Bailroad. As is well knowir, the Central trains now run over the Delaware and Hudson traoks between Mill Creak and Minooka J unction. For some time past the Central Bailroad and the Erie and Wyoming. Bailroad have exchanged ooaL That is, if one had on hand a certain sise of ooal that the other oompany deeired, the ooal was transferred. Several trains of ooal a day, It is said have thus been exchanged. The trains have been run over the Lehigh Valley traoks between the Erie and Wyoming traoks at Port B anchard and the Central traoka at Franklin Junction, near South Wllkeabarre. This arrangement has coat oonald. erable money, and it is proposed now to connect the Central traoks with those of the Erie and Wyoming. Not only will thia give the two oompanlee interested facilities for exchanging ooal on their own traoks, bnt It will also give the Central Oompany a line to the center of Pittston for both freight and passenger traffio. The impoitanoe of the move will readily be sDen when It is considered how great a railroad faotor the Central is at New; York, and the farther fact that Mountain Park, the picnic ground on the Wilkesbarre Mountain, will be brought into close touoh with this vicinity. People not well acquainted with the Central lines between here and Wilkesbarre will perhaps be surprised to learn that only about a mile of traok will need to be built to make the oonnection. How It will be done is thus told by the Wilkesbarre Record: PINKERTON'S PILLS. The other evening he went to sleep, and when ho woke up at four o'clock in the morning ho found himself very much in the (lark. Struggling to his feet he tripped over his assegai, falling with considerable clatter. Fairbairn's a successful man—especially since his wife's money has enabled him to write at leisure—and he's clever, but I do think he lacks resource, this is from the morning paper: "The hunter goes up to the bird and sees it lying there looking as innocent as a robin, with only a wing broken. 'What a fine pet it would make,' the fool hunter thinks. Then he picks the bird up and starts for home in a wagon or a boat, with the bird between his knees. LEGENDS OF P0I8ONIN0. "* "Of course not," replied the sacristan, "or we should have made a silver Austrian long ago."—Harper's Magazine. 8®*sc Remarkable Stories of the Isfuusi "Twenty," called out my "F" man, who sat on the other side of the table; "$25," "$30" and "$40" were quickly "cached before the old man could get sack the breath he had lost in his first gasp of astonishment. It is solemnly declared in an act of Parliament, 22 Henry VIIL, that "Harder by poison in this realm hitherto, our Lord be thanked, hath been most rare and seldom committed or prac ticed." Us* of Drags. "Who's there?" called William Kiley, the night watchman from below. "Make way! He comes," flew the whisper along the crowd, which divided to let the young man through. He passed with bowed bead and his hat in his hand. Than bega£ ft low buzz of re- It continued until Claude Falls Wright appeared at the doorway and in tones speciailly resur rocted for the occasion from the depths of his diaphragm murmured: "A sale of autograph letters was held yesterday at the rooms of Messrs. Lethbridge. White & Co., where aeme high prices were recorded. Telegraph Poles Attract Bears. Much alarmed, the Zulu chief scuttled out from the wings and started across the stage, but tripped over a chateau, and, doing an avalanche act down the sfc-e of a distant mountain, landed with a tremendous thud on a moonlit lake. Every telegraph pole in the remote districts of Norway has to be continually watched on account of the bears, yylpch have a mania for climbing the poles and sitting on the cross-beams, swaying backward and forward until the polo finally falls. "A lot of six very early and interesting letters, written by Charles Dickons \® whan he was reporting for the Mottling Chronicle, fetched $400; two short notes written by Tennyson in 1850, sold for $®1; and three letters written by Mr. John Fairbairn, and the title page of the original manuscript of his famous novel. The Vision of Present Things,' "This beats me," he said, "but they must be worth having, or Potter and the others wouldn't be so keen." "The bird's neck is drawn back like a letter "S." All of a sudden the bill shoots up and gives the man a gash alongside the eye three inches long. That is what has always happened so far. The wounded bird has missed its aim, but sometime*. and you want to remember it, this feathered spearman will drive its bill fair into its enemy's eye, and like a steel umbrella stick the point of the bill will penetrate the man's brain. Mr. Froude does not question the statement. Speaking of the particular crime which provoked this statute, he asserts that poisoning was actually new to the English people in 1580. It would be safer to credit that the means of identifying poison v*er« new about that time. In fact, we know it was so. One of the earliest incidents is the murder of Brithric, King of Wessex, by his Queen Eadburgha. Innumerable are the persons whose death was attributed to poison after this date. But the express assertion of the Commons may be accepted as evidence that Englishmen were not very familiar with the idea in 1530. "Fifty dollars" was reached, when, to my immense surpr'se, Mr. Hay called out "Fifty five dollars!" and as he was at once taken up ard passed by my man "C," I leaned back in the chair and fairly luxuriated in the scene. Th* ordinary habitues of the salesroom went completely nonplussed. But Hay dif not notice it—he was too much en. grossed. A bid of $65 had come from my fourth limit man, &nd Hay chimed in. only to be cut out by my fifth string with $70. "Stop! or I'll shoot," shouted the voice, now nearer, and Kiley, carrying a lantern, appeared on the stage. The Zulu chief attempted to retire but knocked against a tree and brought it down with a crash. At the same moment Kiloy Hashed the light of the Tantern upon hiin, and beheld an uncanny figure, with a matlike mane and a terrific countenance. A SILVER WKDDINO. "Silence! Silencs! There must be lees noise. It interrupts the train of thought; the mighty forces that are at work within; the essence that is working toward a mighty end for the benefit of the race must not be disturbed."HGREAT IS THE BANANA. Mr. and Mrs. Charles Sutherland Have an All the People of tlie Earth Could Live Interesting Celebration. (Wllkesbatre Record.) were secured by Mr. Watchet, after a brisk competition, for $76." That's how things stand to-day with Fairbairn; anything of bis sells—includ- including his autograph. The banana, which alone of fruits possesses all the essentials to the sustenance of human life, is worth more than all the others, and is thus the most valuable fruit in the world. Even with us it fairly holds its own when com pared with any other fruit, while in some countries—Africa, for instanceits position is as important as that of wheat in this country or rice in China. Over the larger part of the Dark Con tipent it is the staple article of native food, and every African village has its banana fields, as we have fields of pota toes or corn. on it Alone. Twenty yesrs ago Oharlee F. Sutherland was married at Oarverton, this county, to Miss Frantz, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. George Frantz, of that pla te. The oeremony was performed by Bev. Joseph Madl son. The twenty-fifth anniversary of that nappy event was celebrated May 7 at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Sutherland, 160 North Franklin street. The honw was tilled with a large company of friends who came to offer their congratulation, and the affair was one of the most enj Dyable of its kind held in the city. Then he disappeared. Dead silence re sumed its reign, but there was a goodly proportion of women present and it was good betting that the reign would shortly be terminated. It was. Soon the buzz broke out again, very gently, but still with force enough to encourage the Sun reporter to ask a question from the man next to him. "I guess the bird's aim has always been spoiled by the pain of its wounds, and so many a human life has been saved. I don't monkey with wounded bitterns or cranes—well, scarcely."— "Q g g good Lord," he twittered, his teeth chattering. "What are youf' But, four years ago, his position with the public was very different, and I am going to tell you how small a thing was really the turning push which veered the needle around on the dial, and then set it for'his future. With a thump on the table Hay looked at the auctioneer and gasped, "Seventy-five dollatsl" A final glance around, the mallet fell, and Mr. Hay had bought two of the despised John Fairbairn's letters. In an instant an inspiration came to the Zulu chief. For the first time he remembered he had his war costume on, and he determined to make use of it. Leaping in the air he gave a terrific howl and flourished his assegai, to the great detriment of an ancestral staircase that happened to be in the way. "Ikey pikey-sikey crikey!" he yelled. "Whoop! WahM Wow!!!" New York Sun No Rip Van Wlukles Wanted. This story is told of Mr. Joseph Jefferson : If poisoning had been rare before, it became terribly common. Among Elizabeth's statesmen it was regarded aa a weapon of defense almost legitimate. Her favorite Leicester was called for short "The Poisoner." Young Englishmen of rank and parts visited Italy to finish their education, and too many of them learned to take the Italian view in this matter. Fairbairn and I both played at being barrister* after we left Oxford, and both found it necessary to do bread and butter work for journals whose editors considered our stuff worth paying for. Of course this sett'ed the whole thing, for Hay was the last man ever to go back on his own judgment. As we went out together be said to me: "What are they doing inside?" A number of years ago he played a one night engagement in a small Indiana town, appearing in his favorite part. The hotel at which he stayed was infested by an Irishman "recently landed," who acted as porter and general assistant. Judged by the deep and serious interest which he took in the house, he might have been clerk, lessee and proprietor rolled into one. "Shi" he said, with so profane an ac cent that the reporter dropped him and tackled a moon faced youth with stringy hair which interfered with the set of hia collar. Bev. Joseph Madison, who Is now located at Yatesvllle, delivered an appropriate address and J. 0. Hltchner, the Weet Pittston humorist, who was present at the wed ding of Mr. and Mrs. Sutherland and every fifth year's celebration thereafter, epuke in bis usual happy manner. At eleven o'clock the guests sat down to a fine supper. Although some varieties of the ba nana attain the size of small trees, it is an herbaceous plant, and the kind most generally cultivated for their fruit are the dwarfs, which grow to a height of but four or 'five feet. The smallest of these produce the delicate fig bananas, unknown to Northern markets, but almost the only ones eaten as fruit in countries where the banana is grown. While the little fig banana is always classed as a fruit, plantains, which are the largest of the family, are invariably fried or baked and regarded as vegeta hies. This went on for a couple of years, when, by the death of a relative, I came into a working share of a patent pill. From that time on I found ample scope for my literary ability in writing advertisements for the pill. "You must forgive me for what I said the other evening about Mr. Fair bairn. I had no idea he stood so high, but you can't have a surer test of a man's position than the price his letters fetch." "Lord ha' mercy," cried the terrified watchman; "it's a wild man!" and he made a bolt with intention to exit, but collided with the wing, which knocked him flat. "Can you tell me what is going on insidef the reporter asked. What was that view we have a glut of evidence; an incident related by the Duke de Guise in his memoirs is aa significant as any and not so familiar. He tells in a matter of-fact way how he requested the captain of his guard to poniard an ' obnoxious demagogue at Naples. The youth almost had apoplexy. His face turned purple, and his eyes turned up until the pupils disappeared. With a low, gurgling moan he ejaculated; As he rose the Zulu chief was flourish ing a hatchet. It was a papier mache hatchet, but Kiley didn't know that. But Fairbairn had to keep his nose to the grindstone and wanted the leisure to do his best work; and then he got engaged to Elinor Hay. I murmured a polite rejoinder and said: At ab ac six o'clock in the morning, Mr. was startled by a violent thumping on his door. When he struggled into consciousness, and realized that he had lett no call at the office, de was naturally indignant. But his deep was spoiled for that morning, so he arose, and soon after appeared before the clerk. "Wubblety jubblety-jububl" whooped the savage. "Whoo-eo-eeee!" and he flung his hatchet straight at Kiley's "Your mistake wrs quite pardonable, MV. Hay, for Mr. Fairbairn is one of those quietly brill'ant men who are really right up at tae top of the tree, but who make no fuss of self-advertisement.""Sh h h h-h." Among the guests were the following from West Pittston- Mrs. Laura L. Sutherland, Mr. and Mrs. W. H. Jackson, Mis- Minnie J tokaon, Mr. and Mre. Ben junta Emory, Mr and Mrs. J. B. Hayes, Mr. and Mrs John Bcureman, Mr and Mrs. Joseph Hltohner, Mrs Sadie Sohooley, Mrs. Cyntnia Bommell, Miss Jean Hayes, James McMillan and wife. Her father, Andrew Hay, was a wealthy north country manufacturer retired from business, a man of whims and crotches, which were strong in proportion to their unreasonableness. Any one might have supposed it was a countersign. The reporter on this ba sis, approached a nice old lady in cork screw curls who was communing with herself in one of the corners, and ejacu lated: head, The captain was shocked. Ha would poison any one at His Grace's command with pleasure, but tha dagger waa a low-lived instrument. So the Duke bought some murdr rous drug, the composition of which he describes at length, and it was duly administered, but Gennaro, his enemy, had just eaten cab bage dressed in oil, which served as an antidote somehow. "Help!" shrieked Kiley. Help! Police!" "Murder! Seizing his lantern he cleared the footlights at a bound, dashed up through the aisle, and out into the street, still shrieking until he found Policeman Frazer of the East Fifty- first street sta tion. He told Frazer that a gorilla with a spear was in the theatre doing a specialty act to an empty house. Frazer said that he'd see about it. Meantime the Zulu chief had set out exploring for a way out and had found the fire escape. Dp this he started, and had got pretty well up when Frazer came back on the stage, and, hearing him, put his head out of the rear window. The sight he saw somewhat amazed him, but he only A number of delicious desserts may be prepared by cutting ripe bananas in to thin slices and serving with custard, with lime juice and sugar, with lemon juice and desiccated cocoanut, or in other ways that will suggest themselves. Bananas can be dried as easily as peach "S or apples. In this condition they will keep for a long time, and may be •Daten by themselves or used in the mak ing of pies, cakes or puddings. Among his crotchets were an absurd belief in Bloxom's pills, which cant hold an invalid's ni«?ht light to mine; a fancy for horse hair sofas and dining room chairs, which, besides being most uncomfortable and slippery, are terribly wearing to one's trousers; an extraordinarily high opinion of successful and well known authors and an entire contempt for those not eminent. "Yes, yes; it must be so, and I must make amends for my mistake. Will you come and meet him at dinner on Friday?' On the morning after the dinner Fairbairn formally proposed for Miss Hay and her father at once consented. "See here," he demanded of this individual, "why was I called at this unearthly hour?" "Shi" responded the old lady, with great promptitude. "ShT Much encouraged, the reporter tried the question on her. "I don't know, sir," answered the clerk. "I'll ask Mike." TBI-COONTY ENDEAVOREKS. The income from his wife's money was not long needed by Fairbairn, for the report of the sale of his letters brought him into prominent notice, and his own clever work cemented hii success. "Can you tell me what the proceedings behind those doors are?" Tha Irishman was accordingly sum moned. Scientific persons think it not lznpoasible that the legend of Mithridates, who is said to have made himself "immune" against tha poisons of his age and country, may hava some basis of truth. The same story is told in India with picturesque detail. Mahmud L of Ahmedabad—he w'10 drove the Portuguese out of Gujarat—ate poisons to the degree that his broath was fatal. He greeted an enemy with a kiss, and the man died instanter. His wives always perished before morning, so agents traveled without ceasing through hia territories, kidnapping lovely girls, who were sent to Ahmedabad through a subterranean passage twenty miles long— the passage at least exists to this day for a testimony. To him Hudibras refers as the • Arrangements for the Convention Here on May 28d. Said the clerk: "Mike, there was no call for Mr. Jefferson. Why did you The TrI Connty Christian Endeavor Union will'meet in this city on Friday, May 82 There will be three sessions—at 10a m., 2 and 7:30 p. m. Societies are requested to instant delegates how to vote on an amendment to the by-laws, providing for an annual convention instead of semi-annual. The sessions will be full of pro&t. There will be interesting and help ful addresses. In order to develope and locate latent talent, the Executive Committee has dsclded to ask for competitions on the following subjects: (•) "Elements ot Snocess in a Prayer Meeting (b) "Elements of Success in Committee Work.' The oompetitlons will be opan to all actiye In the Union, and essays, not more than 300 words in length, shoald be In the ban 1b of the Secretary on or before Hay 16. The Executive Committee will award, to the beet six, prizes and honorable mention. One hour will be given in the afternoon to theee oompetitlons. "Sh h-h-h-h!" broke out the old lady, prolonging the word to the forty-seventh degree, and shaking her corkscrew curls very violently, whereupon a dozen •Dr more others joined in, and the reporter felt as if he had inadvertently tapped a steam boiler. "▲ route has Been surveyed from the terminus of the Jersey Central's old Nantiooke branoh about theoollierlee near Plains and Fort Blanchard, to Port Blanohard, where it will connect with the Erie & Wyoming Valley. This connecting link will be a little over a mile in length. The Jersey Central will build a new switch from the end of Its old track at the Enterprise mine at Plalnsvllle. It will extend along the hillside parallel with the electrle road to a point a short distanoe above Piainsville, where many years ago the Mitchell drift mine was operated. Here the road will turn Bananas require a damp, rich soil; lint that being given, they repay the abor of planting and such slight cultivation as is required to keep them free from other growtlis, with a yield so tfreat as to be out of all proportions to the work expended upon them. disturb him?" But the man was a curiosity in other ways; he would spend large sums on his hobbies and autograph letters, and yet I believe he was almost parsimonious about his household expenses. They were afraid to tell old Hay about their engagement, for Elinor told Fairbairn—who was quite frank with her about his means—in what light her fa ther regarded authors who had yet to arrive. Taking the clerk by the lapel of the coat, the Hibernian led him to one side, and said, in a mysterious manner: But you can now see why I started bj laying that Fairbairn lacks resource, because he might have thought of th« plan himself, but then he is merely a talented man—he has not the genius which is at the call of a writer of advertisements for Pinkerton's Pills.— "He were shnoring like a horse, sir, ' and Oi'd heard the b'ys saying some thing about how he were once after | shleopin' for twinty years, so I says to meself, 'Moike, it's a-comin' onto him ag"in, and it's yer duty to get the creature out o' the house instantly.'"—Harper's Magazine. Finally a mornful looking man took the reporter aside and asked in sepulchral toues what he wanted. said 'Come down from there." "Hunky-tunky-tunk! Whoosh! Chil limawallebadory!" vociferated the Zu lu chief, thinking he could scare this one away, too. After a while, too, the plants aid in their own cultivation by so covering the ground about them with their own refuse leaves as effectually to prevent any other growth in their immediate vicinity. "I'd like to know what they're doing inside," said the reporter. The Sketch, For the Kjtm, "You'll not call me that twice," said Frazer, and he climbed out on the fire escape and chased the wild man to the roof, where he captured hiin. Straightway the Zulu chief was transformed into a very much scared youth who protested that he had done nothing wrong. —New York Sun. "Karma," replied the mournful look ing man. One afternoon, after about three months of his clandestine engagement, Miss Hay was calling on my wife, who was in the secret, and, when asking us to go to dinner at Gastbrook, said to me:—"I do wish, Mr. Mildmay, yon Would think of some plan to make father think more of John; it is tt wretched." When the eyes ache close them for five minutes. "Who's Karma?" asked the astonished reporter. His Fish Story waa True. So generous is the fruitage of this extraordinary plant that its food product was estimated by Baron Von Humboldt to be one hundred and thirty-three times greater than that of wheat, and forty four times more than that of po tatoes. In other words, if a certain urea of ground would produce thirtythree pounds of wheat or ninety nine of potatoes, an equal area of banana land would yield four thousand pounds ol fruit, containing all the life sustaining properties of both wheat and potatoes. Von Humboldt also asserted that the arable lands of Central America alone can produce enough of the fruit to feed the world. "The afternoon, when we were in the Indian Ocean," said the Captain, "I noticed a shark swimming round the ship, and I didn't like it a bit. Tou know the superstitition to the effect that a following shark presages the death of one of the ship's company. He sailed around us all the next day, and the next after that, and I determined to catch him and quell my un When they burn bathe them in water as hot as can be borne, with a dash of witch hazel in it. "Karma is not who; it is what," responded bis informant, thereby giving an explanation of that mystic word more concise and definite than any hith erto heard at this convention. up a hollow, make a detour of the neck of woods and cross the drive road near Abbott's station. The Jersey Central will connect with the Erie & Wyoming Valley tracks in the region of No. 14 breaker, just below Port Blanehard. The Jersey Oenttal's Nantlcoke branch extends from near the Jersey Central depot In Miner's liills over towards (he river. It goee aronnd the hill on which the town of Plains is built and then tnrne toward Wilkeebarre, running parallel with the Wilkeebarre & E istern tracks until opposite Duck Pond. It skirts along the base of the hill on which are the Oakwood and Prospect oollilerles and runs parallel with the Lehigh traoks at Mill Creek carve. Near the plank road bridge under whic i the Lehigh Valley passes, tae Jersey Central goee np the hill and orossee the plank road at grade just above the bridge, and then rnns along to the several collieries' In that vicinity until it reaohes the Enterprise, the end Already supplies have been distributed for the purpoee of fixing up this old line. The Lehigh Valley will be considerably After weeping bathe them in rose water and lay a towel in rose water over them for five minutes. " Prince of Cambay, whose daily food Is asp and basilisk and toad." For his victory over the Portuguese had won him renown in Europe.—London Evening Standard. "But how do they do it?" asked the reporter.' "Miss Hay," I answered as a thought flashed on me. "Let us make a com pact. If I succeed in making your father think highly of John as an author, will you sit to my artist for 'Brought Up On Pinkerton's Pills?' A first class black and white poster, you know, (100 fee and free pills for life." When they are bloodshot more. sleep REPLIED TO BILLY FLORENCE. A Spectator who Annwered the Comedl an'* CJuration. "Shi" said the mournful man with an emphasis which may have indicated that he didn't know the answer to that question, so the reporter tried him with an easier one. When the whites are yellow and th« pupils dull consult your doctor about your diet.—Evening World. William J. Florence, the comedian, had a reputation for bright stories and practical jokes. The following one, is said, by Harper's Round Table, to have been told by him at a dinner one evening, when the conversation turned on traveling theatre companies: MISSISSIPPI'S GREAT CAVERN. "We baited a hook, and after a short time captured and killed him. Then we cut him up. Do you know what we found in that shark's inside? No? Well, a newspaper, unopened, and it will surprise you, as it did me, when I tell you that it was addressed to myself."easiness. A Cave which May Rival the Famous One of Kentucy. A MEW POWER HOUSE Lord WoUeley Like* Our Patriotism. What is the process they are going through in there?" According to the statement of a gentleman from Mico, Jasper county can boast of a cave that may some day equal the well renowned Mammoth cave of Kentucky. The opening to the cave is situated on the farm of Squire Mc Laurin, twelve miles from Mico. It has been explored for about a quarter of a mile, and gradually increases in magnitude. The opening is about four feet square, hollowed out of solid limestone rock. Will be Itullt at Avoca by the Seranton Lord Wolseley, the British Comtnan der- in-Chief, in a public address recent ly, said that he could not help thinking it was a good thing for the school children of the United States to be brought up in the conviction that they belonged to the greatest nation in the world, and must be ready to fight for it, and be added that he would like to see every child in an English school taught to admire and love his country and the constitution under which he lived, so that he would be prepared to maintain that constitution against all comers. and Plttston Co. She laughed, but I assured her I meant it, and finally the compact was made. "They are absorbing the essence of the spirit of ecstasy," replied the mournful man, rolling up his eyes with the easy action of a patent window shade. The disagreement between the Seranton Traction Company and the Seranton and Plttston Traction Company, as to who shall furnish the power for the Plttston line, has at last been settled. At a meeting of the the companies, held in Soranton on Thursday, May 7, It was «greed that the Soranton and Plttston Company should build a new power house for the Plttston line, it being Impossible to secure sufficient power from the Soranton house to do the required work. The exact location of the new power station has not yet been determined, but it is expected that It will be plaoed near Avoca, and that work thereon will be btarted at Dnce, in order to have the Plttston line in operation by the middle of summer. "Years ago," said Florence. "I was in a small company skipping from town to town. We had met with extremely bad luck up to our landing in the town of D—. There we found the lowest ebb of all, for when the curtain rolled up there were just two persons in the audience, a young lady in the orchestra chair and a young man in the front row of the balcony. Few bananas are raised within tho limits of the United State*, only the extreme southern portions of Florida and California being available for their cultivation; but with the ever increasing facilities for their importation they are becoming so plentiful that new and uitherto undreamed of uses are rapidly iDeing found for them. On the following Monday we went to dinner at Mr. Hay's. The only other guests were Fair bairn and a Miss Peters —a friend of Elinor. "Do I understand you to mean that they are taking a drink f inquired the reporter, still striving after accurate information.A shout of great laughter went up from the Captain's audience, who winked at each other unblushingly. He, however, took all the bantering in good part, and when the jeers were ended be said: After dinner the old man got showing us some of his thing 4, and Fair bairn, at my advising, played up to old Hay and admired his autograph letters when 1m pulled out his portfolios. I remejnbered one he showed us was • little scrap written by Charles IL, when a boy, to his guardian, the Earl of Newcastle, who had been chiding him for not taking his medicine. "Young man," said the Theosophist, after a scrutiny of entirely undeserved severity; "such matters as eating and drinking have no place in their lofty thoughts. They are struggling with the | mighty problem of the past, the present and the future. Only those of lofty spirit can take part in that council. We all hope some day to attain to it I am now here in the hope of re ceiving some of the psychic influences that emanate from that room." "Now, gentlemen, I'll tell you how it happened. I found that my children had been skylai king the day before in the cabin. They found among the mass of reading that had been brought on board some unopened newspapers addressed to me. They had been throwing these newspapers at each other, and one of them went" out of the porthole. The shark saw it, of course, and gobbled it down, and that was how it happened. Now, gentlemen, judge for yourselves the truth of my story."— Several exploring parties have entered the cave and penetrated to the distance named, when, afraid of the strange sounds heard in the cave, they would turn back. The faintest whisper can be heard with startling dis tinctness, and when spoken loudly can be heard for several seconds echoed and re-echoed. "We went on with the performance however, possibly to warm ourselves more than anything else. According to my part, I was helping the heroine to escape the clutches of the villain, and in one of my lines, I said, 'Have you noticed that even the bright moon is rising to light us on our way?' Before she had time to reply, the young inan in the balcony called out: A banana meal which will keep as long as wheat flour, and make an in finitely more nutritious bread, is prom ise*l for the immediate future. Beei and sausages made from the fruit have successfully passed the experimental stages. Banana skins contain a tough fibre from which the finest of cloth can be woven. The juice yielded by these skins during the process of extracting their fibre can be used either as an in •lelible ink or fermented into good vinegar.A Oulbert Wink. The Queen has a Gailbert sort of a wink in her eye as she talks to Jameson about bis being snub a bad boy.—Council Bluffs Nonpariel. Later in the evening the old gentle man showed me some recent acquisitions, and among them was an early letter he bought, at a high price, written by Mr. George Meredith. A .Maiden Aataorau naya Her May. Inconvenienced, as a good deal of thla branch in the vloinity of Port Bowkley was used for shifting purposes." Miss Marie Corelli writes to the New fork Herald that she is a most modest and retiring person, and that she refuses all requests for her portrait or to appear before the public, though she might make a great deal of money by reading from her own works. She de niee that she declined to have her latest book, "The Sorrows of Satan," sent to the reviewers out of spite, but declares that she wanted to show them that it would sell without their praise or blame; and she adds that she has the pleasure of knowing that 30,000, out of the 80,000 already disposed of, were sold before a single notice of the book had been published. Miss Corelli admits that she is a fighter, and that she has not scruplod to return the blows aimed at her with interest, "as all should who set value on the noble art of self defence.'" In concluding her tirade, she says: "I am. happily, unmarried [which is much better than being unhappily married], and I live, as most young unmarried women live, at home with my relatives, controlled by them in such wise that 1 certainly should not be allowed either a cigarette or a latch- key, were 1 foolish enough to demand these 'new woman' privileges!" She also denies that she is patronized by the royal family of Eng land, though the Queen and the Prince of Wales read her books. Not long since a party of three entered the cave, taking lightwood torches with them. They had penetrated a short distance when some bats flew into the face of the torch bearer. From fright he threw the torch down, which was extinguished. Then a scramble for the opening resulted in several bumped heads and muddy suits. " 'I am not so certain about the lady down stairs, but I can see it all right.'" The reporter didn't notice any psychic influences emanate, but he did see Claude Falls Wright perform that same ict some time later. Mr. Wright's iureole whiskers had paled three shades and there were under his eyes those puffy rings that may indicate either an hour with the gods of which he made mention or a night with the boys. The reporter asked him what business had been transacted within. Mr. Wright turned a shade paler. We have made some inquiries and find that the Record article is oorrect so far as it goes. It shows bow the Central oan oome Into Plttston from the South, but does not tell how the trains oan oonttnue to Soranton by this route, whloh is equally important. In the first place, it will be neoeeeary to build a short line from the present terminus of the Erie and Wyoming's Plttston branoh, at the foot of old No. 2 plane, up through the ravine along Broad street and oonnect with the Erteand Wyoming main line at Broad street Junction. This will be the eaBleet part of the task. This at once suggested to me my plan ai action. I thought it out as I went home, and the next day set to work. Funeral of Watkln Powell. Could anything be more contrary to our preconceived notions than bananatas a food for babes? Yet only last sum mer I was introduced to a perfectly, well, sturdy and rosy cheeked little chap a year old who, so his parents as sure me, had never tasted milk, and had, during the first six months of his life, been fed wholly on ripe bananas.— Youth's Companion. London Answers. The funeral of Watkln W. Powell, a trell known member of Plttston's Battery M, took place Wednesday, May 6th from he family heme in Kingston. The American flag whioh the ladies of Plttetou presented to Battery M, in 1862, and under which the Battery boys took the oftth of allegiance, was spread over the coffin, and there were many beautiful floral tributee Brief eervloes were held at the house, Rev. D. L. Davis, of Edwardsvllle, offering prayer. The servloee were continued at the M. E. C uroh in Plymouth. Rav. Mr. Davis read the Sorlptures Rev. Dr. Severson, the pastor, spjke very effectively, calling attention to the exoellent character of the deceased and to bis services to bis oountry on the field of battle. R jv H. C idoDermott, of Kingston, also delivered . brief address. Several beautiful hymns were rendered in a very touching manner by a quartette from Kingston. Iaterment ▼as made in the Shawnee Cemetery. The pall bearers were William Gee, John BCrnee, John F Grube, Wm. H. Davis, Benj J. Evans, and Hiram Lewis. The following memers of Battery M attended the funeral: Evan J. Evans, Wm. Gee, John Btrnee, John F Grnbe, Samu 1 Davlee, George Archer, James Orr, Diniel Williams, John Tench and Benjtmln J. Evans all of this place; Wm H Davlee, Thomas Jenkins, Frank M Glrton, of Ply moatb; L H Wlnt, Frank Hughes, Seranton; Wm. H. Shaver, Kingston; Jetbro Barber, Wilkesbarie. First I went to a well known London dealer in autographs, and bought $125 worth of letters. I added to these— which included one by Carlyle and two of Thackeray's—a couple of notes written to me some years ago by Fair bairn. Queen Victoria'* Donkey. Doves Instead of Clutmpagrne. The story of the purchase of the Queen's favorite donkey is not very widely know. During her Majesty's first stay at Aix les Bains, eleven years ago, it was bought from a peasant by the wayside for 200 francs. Jack was being driven peaceably along the banks of the lake, when the Queen asked his owner if he would part with him. It is customary among most civilized nations, when launching or christening a vessel, to break a bottle of champagne or other wine over hor bows. The Japanese, with their usual thrifty notions, do not believe in this unneces sary waste. When they christen a vessel, instead of breaking a bottle, they liberate a number of pigeons. At the christening of the Yashima, the largest and most powerful battleship ever constructed for the Japanese navy, which took place a short time ago at the Elswick shipyard, on the Tyne, this unusual sight was seen. Madame Kato, the wife of a member of the Japanese Embassy, christened the vessel and let loose the pigeons at the same time. It would be interesting to know what the origin, meaning and intention of the custom was. Beautiful stalactites hang from the roof of the cave, and when viewed by torchlight look like millions of diamonds. There is another opening four miles from the one named, and it is sup posed to be a part of the same cave. A public road passes between the two caves, and at one point a rumbling sound can be heard, which goes to show that a subterranean cavern exists beneath the road.—Memphis Commercial Appeal. 1 then went to one of the literary salesrooms and gave in all the lettersincluding Fairbaira's—with a commis sion for their sale at the next auction. "Business," he said in a hushed voice; ''do not speak of business. This was a meeting of the higher spirits." "That depends, madauie," said the old peasant; "if I sell my donkey, I shall not be able to get my living any more." TWO CANADIAN STAPMS FOR $1,320. At the same time I obtained from the manager the names and addressee of half a dozen regular attendants at their auctions, and, calling a hansom, vest to see each of them. My formula was the same in each case. I said:—"At Blank's sale next Tuesday some of Kr. John Fairbaira's letters will be put Bp." High Prices Paid for Kare Postage Stamps "But can you not tell ' by Collector* "I can tell nothing. It would be sac tilege. The common htrd would not understand those mighty secrets that we reverently discussed. It is horrible to think of that the mysteries of the age should be made common by the power jf the press. What was it you wanted to know?" Two little pieces of paper, which, when originally issued by the Canadian Government, were valued at 12 cents each, were sold at auction in Boston recently for $1,820. Prom Scranton the Central tracks ran on the west side of the river to Minooka Junction, and there remains between that point and the nearest point on the Erie and Wyoming a stretch of abont four miles of road to be built. There are two routes proposed, though the fact is that the territory between the two points mentioned has been so occapiod by tire Delaware and Hudsoa Company, on the east side of the river, and the Delaware, Lackawanna and Western Company, on the west side, that the Central will of necessity be com pelled to choose between ion tee that the other companies have rejected. By elevating its tracks at Minocka Junction, and crossing Oak aud Fox Hills, on the east side of the river, the Central Company could strike the Erie and Wyoming tracks at a point just above the powder mills in Moosic. Or the tracks could be extended down the west side of the river from Minooka Junction, cross the river near Mooeic and reach the Erie and Wyoming tracks at a point near No. 11 shaft. Either of the two routes could be made available by the use of a system of retaining walls, and tliey are in reality the only routes by which the Central can reach the center of bath Pittston and Scran ton. "How much did you give for him?" she asked. "A hundred francs, uiadam," was the answer. THINKS DANTE WAS INSANE. "Well, I will give you double," and the bargain was forthwith concluded. All Canadian stamps of the issue of 1851 are rare, but these two 12-cent stamps are believed to be the only unused ones of the kind printed on laid paper. The stamps were bought by Mr. Needham, of Hamilton, Ont., who sold these stamps to the company hold in# the auction and got $1,500 for them. Mr. Needham bought a number of other Canadian stamps at prices ranging from $10 to $185. A Learned Italian on the Author of the "Who is Mr. John Fairbairnf was the invariable question that was interposed."He's the author of 'Lucy Armitage,' and—er—er—why, surely you know himr The story of the sale spread through the land, and since then whenever her Majesty took her drives abroad, wheth er at Biarritztor Aix-les Bains, she was sure to meet on her road one or two peasants leading a handsome but at tenuated donkey.—Tit-Bits. Following in the footsteps of a learned Frenchman, an equally erudite Italian has now practically proclaimed to the world that Dante Alighieri was a luna tic. Dr. Durand Fardel is the Frenchman responsible for this assertion, which was made a long time ago. It has been revived, with variations and additions, by no less a person than Prof. Lombroso, who has abandoned the study of criminals of the present in order to diagnose the mental condition of great meu of the past. Divine Comedy. "If the new Mahatma was present," suggested the reporter. "He was there, but he did not reveal himself, nor will he do so for a year after Mr. Judge's departure to greater spheres of activity. But he was there. Oil. v«s: he was thC*re." MOt UKBIJ MD OT UIIHppOinUHi, An inquisitive person passing along a country road stopped to talk with a farmer hoeing corn. The Hostess—I suppose there is no use of asking you to stay for dinner? Caller—Not iu that way.— Cleveland Plain Dealer. But none of the six men did, so I told each of them privately to bid for these two lettera of Falrbairn's for me. I named my price limit at $50 for bidder "A" and at $75 for bidder "E," letting my limit to the foar others increase by |5 from $«) to $73. Royal Beneficence DUSE AND HER PICTURES. Effect of Culture on Crows. Among the crowned heads who take tlio greatest interest in charity are the King of Italy and the Dowager Empress of Russia. At Christmas and Easter time the former gives away thousands of pounds to charity, and not very long ago insisted that % court ball should be abandoned and the money distributed among the poor. Nothing can exceed the enthusiasm with which the Dowager Czarina takes up charitable work. Not only is she herself most generous, but she also knows how to influence others. The greatest work she has done is undoubtedly the erection by law, but on her initiative, of foundling hospitals in numerous parts of the vast Russian Empire. At every theatre and music hall in Russia a tax is paid on all tickets sold, and this large sum goes to the foundling hospitals, Tbe tax is 0 per cent., and is paid by the buyer. A five-cent St. Louis, 1845 6, which was a postmaster's provisional issue, $251, while a 10 cent specimen of the sdme date brought $105. United States Government issues sold from $90 down. The former price was paid for an 1851 6 30-cent imperforated, unused, which is one of the rarest of United States stamps. Her Potto in Admiring a Painting. She Mrs. Eugene Daniels, of Canaan, N. H., has a tame crow that is a curiosity. It is alDout 18 months old, and has been in captivity from the nest. It talks and seems to understand what is said to it, and ia fond of music. It goes to church every Sunday, and waiU outside till th« owa flirnuirli "Your corn is small," said the inquisitive person. Loves Opals. At the Durand Ruel galleries the other day there were received fifty pictures of Duse, photographed from the portrait of her by Gordigiani. The pictures, which are about three feet square, are to be signed by both Duse and Gordigiani and sold for $25. They were o rdered with the understanding that there were to be only fifty of them. I had put my pian in shape, and now see about the most effective denouement of it as regards old Hay. Two days later I received from the Salesrooms a printed catalogue which contained particulars of the letters I had given in for the sale, and which did not mention my name as the owner of them. "Yes. I planted that kind," replied the farmer. It was said long since by a father of the Church that there is no genius untinged with an admixture of madness; but, according to Prof. Lombroso, Dante was subject to epileptic fits; and Dr. Durand Fardel sees in the visions of hell, heaven and purgatory the result of a maniac's dreams. "It looks yellow." "I planted yollow corn." '•I don't think you'll get more than half a crop." What We Inherit A mild argument had been in prog roes over the importance which woman has assumed as a worker in competition with men. A Home Thrimt 'How customs and practices differ on different Bides of the earth," remarked Mayor Sutro, apropos of a discussion in the City Hall Commission of the dura" bility of mosaic. How Turkey and Nevada Differ. "Don't expect to—I planted it on shares."—Buffalo Courier. We are not to blame for. We cannot be held responsi le for the disposition!) add tendenciss which we derive from oar ancestors, nor are we responsible for the germs of disease which may manifest themseljee In onr blood as a heritage from former generations Bat we are responsible If we allow these germs to develop Into serious diseases whioh will Impair onr usefulness aod destroy oar happiness. We are responsible If we transmit to oar deoendants the disease germs whioh It la possible for as to eradicate by the use of Hood's Sarsapartlla, the one trae blood purifier. This medicine his power to make rich, red blood and establish perfect health In plaoe of disease. The railroad man with whom we discussed the matter, this morplng, said that whllo there Is a possibility of the plan falling through, yet there is strong probability of it being consuinated, and he regarded it as a big thing for this vicinity, believing as he doae, the Central to be an enterprising company with which any community ought to be glad to have itself cliwely c jnnected. Duse often spent the morning in these galleries during her stay in New York. She always wore a plain, dark gown, a small hat and very magnificent furs, and she usually held a bunch of violets in her hand. She was often unattend ed, but sometimes accompanied by her companion. "With this in my pocket I went over to Eastbrook in the evening, for a game of billiards, and, during the game, tnrned the talk to Hay's hobby. Big Pay for Skill In Cookery. Prof. Lombroso further expatiates on the irascibility, the inordinate vanity, and the violent character of the Florentine poet; and, according to a French writer who has broached the subject, it is "henceforward evident to everybody that Dante was fit for the strait waistcoat." All this, however, will not rob the genius who supposed to have seen the hell of his immortality. When ex Senator Sawyer's daughters i/ere little girls their fathor promised /) make them a handsome prosent when they were able to cook him a satisfactory dinner. Ten years later they reminded him of the promts* and served him with a dinner with which he bad not the least fault to find. That same day the Senator gave each one of the young women a check for $25,000. "Thur ain't no use In talkin'," he asserted, aggressively. "Thur's a whole lot o' things thet a man can do theta wo man can't." "By the way, I was so interested with those autographs you showed me last Monday that I am thinking of making a collection." "One reason that it lasted so long in Venice and other cities was that no shoes with nails in the soles were worn, and in Turkey every man who enters a mosque must first take off his shoes. They were going to send me to jail once because I objected to removing my shoes when 1 went in the place. Now I remember that once when a drunken miner in Nevada insisted on taking his boots off in church so that he could sleep better one of the deacons shot three of his toes off. "—San Francisco Post. "I'd like ter know some of 'em," Hhe responded, with a very contemptuous sniff. One day when she was there the "Vision Antique" of Puvis de Chevannes was unpacked. When it was shown to her she sat down on the floor in front of it, Japanese fashion, and went into ecstasy over it. Do Not Do This. "I got the catalogue to day from Blank's," I went on as I took it from my pocket. "You might look through it and mark what you think likely." Do not be induced to bay any other If yon have made up your mind to take Hood's 8arsap»rllla. R member that Hood's Sarsaparllla cures when ali others fall. Do not give up In despair because other medicines have failed to help yoa. Take Hood's Sarsaparllla faithfaliy and you may reasonably expeot to be oared. Hood's Pills are purely vegetable, carefully prepared from the beet ingredients. 25o. "Wal, for instance, she can't sharpen a lead pencil." He U a Handy Man. "I suppose thet's so," she answered slowly, "I suppose thet's so. I'll bev ter give in ter ye thur. But I notice thet if she can't sharpen a lead pencil she kin take an ax an' go out ter wood pile an' split kindling right regular. An' thur won't be nobody tryin' ter raise the least disyute ez tef her abiiity to do it. nutber."—Detroit Free Press. Too Much for the Kaffirs. Didn't Need It. Senator Wolcott, of Colorado, is ambidextrous. He can shave with a razor in each hand, and write with two pens at the same time. "Hay had not looked long at the list before he exclaimed: "Who is this? John Fair bairn, two early letters? Who's John Fairbairn?" Golf is apparently too much for the intellect of the South African Kaffir. A tall warrior, we are told, saw several unskillful players playing over an African course, and he appeared to take the _________ deepest interest in their efforts to get I This is the season of the year when the hall out of one of the many deep | your neighbor buys a hoe and rake and bunkers that abound in the links of that a garden seeds and pretends to lDe better than vou are.—Atchison Globe. "I have here," said the agent, "a little book that will show you how to be your own lawyer." "If it would show me how to bo some one else's lawyer," said the man with the black beard that was gray at the roots, "I might buy it. "But what is the use for a man to learn how to rob himself."—Indianapolis Journal. 1 It is said that she will buy this picture, which is valued at $5,000 before sho leaves America. It is a copy of his cathedral painting. The only mural painting of his in America is in the library at Boston. "Why, yon know John Fairbairn, Mr. Hay —he dined here last Monday." The Lut Word, of Course. He—They say Lillian Russell has a gold mounted bicycle. She—That's nothing. • diamond frame. "What? Him I Who the devil wants his letters. 1 should like to know?,' My wheel has Make It a point to see that yoor blood ia purified, enriched and Tltalia-'d at tMs seaton with Hood's Sarsaparllla. When Duse is looking at a picture she unconsciously assumes a poee simi J*. Milfls'itit.% f¥tM are guaranteed tosfoa ptfttiUif he. Iu20 mltiuU** g fir»Mi
Object Description
Title | Pittston Gazette |
Masthead | Pittston Gazette, Volume 46 Number 40, May 15, 1896 |
Volume | 46 |
Issue | 40 |
Subject | Pittston Gazette newspaper |
Description | The collection contains the archive of the Pittston Gazette, a northeastern Pennsylvania newspaper published from 1850 through 1965. This archive spans 1850-1907 and is significant to genealogists and historians focused on northeastern Pennsylvania. |
Publisher | Pittston Gazette |
Physical Description | microfilm |
Date | 1896-05-15 |
Location Covered | United States; Pennsylvania; Luzerne County; Pittston |
Type | Text |
Original Format | newspaper |
Digital Format | image/tiff |
Language | English |
Rights | http://rightsstatements.org/vocab/NoC-US/1.0/ |
Contact | For information on source and images, contact the West Pittston Public Library, 200 Exeter Ave, West Pittston, PA 18643. Phone: (570) 654-9847. Email: wplibrary@luzernelibraries.org |
Contributing Institution | West Pittston Public Library |
Sponsorship | This Digital Object is provided in a collection that is included in POWER Library: Pennsylvania Photos and Documents, which is funded by the Office of Commonwealth Libraries of Pennsylvania/Pennsylvania Department of Education. |
Description
Title | Pittston Gazette |
Masthead | Pittston Gazette, Volume 46 Number 40, May 15, 1896 |
Volume | 46 |
Issue | 40 |
Subject | Pittston Gazette newspaper |
Description | The collection contains the archive of the Pittston Gazette, a northeastern Pennsylvania newspaper published from 1850 through 1965. This archive spans 1850-1907 and is significant to genealogists and historians focused on northeastern Pennsylvania. |
Publisher | Pittston Gazette |
Physical Description | microfilm |
Date | 1896-05-15 |
Location Covered | United States; Pennsylvania; Luzerne County; Pittston |
Type | Text |
Original Format | newspaper |
Digital Format | image/tiff |
Identifier | PGZ_18960515_001.tif |
Language | English |
Rights | http://rightsstatements.org/vocab/NoC-US/1.0/ |
Contact | For information on source and images, contact the West Pittston Public Library, 200 Exeter Ave, West Pittston, PA 18643. Phone: (570) 654-9847. Email: wplibrary@luzernelibraries.org |
Contributing Institution | West Pittston Public Library |
Sponsorship | This Digital Object is provided in a collection that is included in POWER Library: Pennsylvania Photos and Documents, which is funded by the Office of Commonwealth Libraries of Pennsylvania/Pennsylvania Department of Education. |
Full Text | Oldest Newspaper in the Wyoming Valley. PITTSTON, LUZERNE CO., PA., FRIDAY: MAY 15, 1896. A Weekly Local and Family Journal. r»I8W!fr„ WSTABLISnEP 1850. I VOL. XJLV1. NO. 40 f "Your stroke, sir," I said, "and let me tell yon that Fairbairn is a long way higher up the ladder than I fancy you think he is—from your remark." country, l'tae next day He was seen vigorously whacking a huge boulder with a stick and shouting a varied assortment of English oaths at the top of his voice. Somebody asked him what was the matter. "This white man's game," said the native. "Welly good gamo, white man's game." lar to tnat or ner portrait—cne onin uplifted, the eyes dreamy, yet searching.A BIO COAL DUAL IMPORTANT RAILROAD MOVE. PHYLLIS AND CORYDON PRANKS OF A ZULU. .ARNA, tAAHATMAS, THEOSOPHY, A DANGEROUS BIRD. Phyllis took a reCl rose from the tangles of her hair- Ttiae, the golden age, the place, Arcadia, anywhere. HE WAS ONLY A BOWERY BOY OFF THESTAGE; BUT HE WAS WILD. Devotees of the Oceult Have an Klectlon What will Happen Some Day to a Hunter PltUton Men a Tract In Schuylkill Ooaiity. The meeting of the Thgosopliists in New York to elect a successor to the late William Q. Ju'lge, was a l&rge occasion for the disciples of occultism. In describing one of the meetings, following the election, the New York Sun has this breezy description: and a Dig Time. "8ome of these days," said the longshore hunter, "I expect to open my daily paper" and see a headline something like this, 'Killed by a blue heron,' and I'll tell you why. The blue heron is a big, powerful bird which has already badly disfigured the faces of sev eral men. The men have wounded a bird, and then, thinking to captqre it alive, they went up to it. Why, I would as soon try to kiss a wounded grizzly. of Blue Herons. Gordigiani is her lifelong friend; in fact, it was at the suggestion and under the direction of his father that she went on the stage. The most striking thing about this famous portrait is the opal ring on the right hand. It seems to be a living coal of fire. One Bees it even before the odd, fascinating face, and if it were not broad daylight one might fancy it is not true art, but a trick like that said to be practiced by the exhibitors of Marcele de Suchorowsky's "Nana." A big deal in Schuylkill coal land has just been consummated. Mine Superintendent Richard Malnwaring and Charles B. Streng, of West Plttston, have secured a lease on the Ronaldson and the Navigation tracts located near Pottsville, with the ntentlon of organizing a company composed of local capital to work the same. The land leased is said to be very valuable. In all there are 437 aores, with fifteen veins of coal. It is estimated that there are 35,000 000 tons cf coal on the property. It la in a splendid looatlon, being traversed by three railroads, the Philadelphia and Beading, the Lehigh Valley and the Penn sylvania. The tract is bounded by the fork Farm colliery property of the Lehigh Valley oompany ; the Chamberlain'Goal Company tract, recently purchased by Dr. J. N. Bice, of Scranton, and others; the the Williams Coal Company tract, which has turned out so profitable, and the lands of the Philadelphia and Beading Coal and Iron Oompany. It is the purpose of the leaaeea to at once organize a oompany for the development of the land. Central Trains May Run Into the "Nonsense!" rejoined the old gentleman, as he slammed the red into a bottom pocket. He Scared the Night Watchman Almost Into Fits with His Pasteboard Hatchet, Hair-Mat Wig, War Paint and Wild Heart of Pittston. Phyllis langlied. the saucy Jade, "Sir Shepher, will have this? "Or, (bashful god of skipping lambs ami oaten reedl) a kiss?" I went on with my stroke, and before I left we arranged to meet at Blank's. Gibberish, Why It was Incredible. As the sale progressed I procured some of the minor items marked, and my Carlylo and Thackeray letters wero bought by Hay himself, who Lid more Mian I had paid for them on the proceding Tuesday. In private life William Huggafd is a tall, lanky lad of 16 years, with a genius for going to sleep on al) occasions, suitable and unsuitable. Officially he is a Zulu chief, with a formidable assegai, a hair mat wig, and enough war paint to coat a house, those being his "props" in a farce called "The Jay Circus," which has been running in New York. Every one knows that Trieste forms a part of the "unredeemed Italy" which still belongs to Austria, but sighs to become a part of her own country. At a church in that city a traveller was shown a large number of votive offer ings, and among them a silver mouse, which had been presented by a lady whoso house was horribly infested by such vermin. After this gift to the Madonna the nuisance entirely disap peared. "Do you believe that?' inquired the skeptical traveler. OVER ERIE AND WYOMING TRACKS Bethink thee, gentle Corydon. A rose lasts all night long; A kiss but slips from your lips like robin's evening song. At the afternoon session the mystery was so thick that one could hardly breathe, even in the hallway outside the meeting room. Within were only those who had penetrated to the depth of esoteric lore, such as Claude Falls Wright, Dr. Buch, Mr. Page, Mr. Neresheimer, and such. They entered reverently and a deep silence reigned. Outride in the hallway were collected about 100 of the less advanced. .Quite late the newly elected President, Earnest T. Hnrgrove made his appearance in the hallway. A Plan, Which, 11 Carried Ont, Will Be of Considerable Value to ThU Nelgbborhood-By Building Only a Mile of Road the Two Line* Can Be Connected, t" A kiss that goes where no one knows, a rose, a crimson rose. Oorydoii made his choice and took—well, which do you suppose? " It was very funny to watch the auctioneer as he announced "Two early letters by John Fairbairn." His actions were lost on -Mr. Hay, who was examining one of his purchases, but.as a bid of $10 was quietly offered by one of my agents, I whisered to Hay, "Fairbairn's letters are being offered." "The birds grow as tall as six feet and have necks like a fish rod and just the kind of muscles to move it the quickest with the most strength. They could drive their bill points through a quarter inch panel. -Life. The opal is the favorite stone of Duse; certainly it is a very beautiful one. as full of odd, changing lights and as failed as her wonderful self. President Maxwell, the energetic head of the Central Railroad of New Jersey, is taking an aotlve and practical interest in the development of this section, and it bodes well for the future. It will be recalled that Mr. Maxwell is one of the prime mov • ers in the Spring Brook Supply Company, wjrfch has gained control of the water franchisee of the entire Wyoming Valley. Now we fiad him one of the movers in a plan which hae for its purpose the bringing of the great Jersey Central Railroad Into oloeer touch with Plttstoa and lte Immediate vicinity. In brief, the plan is to make a traffic arrangement between the Central Railroad of New Jersey and the Erie and Wyoming Valley Bailroad. As is well knowir, the Central trains now run over the Delaware and Hudson traoks between Mill Creak and Minooka J unction. For some time past the Central Bailroad and the Erie and Wyoming. Bailroad have exchanged ooaL That is, if one had on hand a certain sise of ooal that the other oompany deeired, the ooal was transferred. Several trains of ooal a day, It is said have thus been exchanged. The trains have been run over the Lehigh Valley traoks between the Erie and Wyoming traoks at Port B anchard and the Central traoka at Franklin Junction, near South Wllkeabarre. This arrangement has coat oonald. erable money, and it is proposed now to connect the Central traoks with those of the Erie and Wyoming. Not only will thia give the two oompanlee interested facilities for exchanging ooal on their own traoks, bnt It will also give the Central Oompany a line to the center of Pittston for both freight and passenger traffio. The impoitanoe of the move will readily be sDen when It is considered how great a railroad faotor the Central is at New; York, and the farther fact that Mountain Park, the picnic ground on the Wilkesbarre Mountain, will be brought into close touoh with this vicinity. People not well acquainted with the Central lines between here and Wilkesbarre will perhaps be surprised to learn that only about a mile of traok will need to be built to make the oonnection. How It will be done is thus told by the Wilkesbarre Record: PINKERTON'S PILLS. The other evening he went to sleep, and when ho woke up at four o'clock in the morning ho found himself very much in the (lark. Struggling to his feet he tripped over his assegai, falling with considerable clatter. Fairbairn's a successful man—especially since his wife's money has enabled him to write at leisure—and he's clever, but I do think he lacks resource, this is from the morning paper: "The hunter goes up to the bird and sees it lying there looking as innocent as a robin, with only a wing broken. 'What a fine pet it would make,' the fool hunter thinks. Then he picks the bird up and starts for home in a wagon or a boat, with the bird between his knees. LEGENDS OF P0I8ONIN0. "* "Of course not," replied the sacristan, "or we should have made a silver Austrian long ago."—Harper's Magazine. 8®*sc Remarkable Stories of the Isfuusi "Twenty," called out my "F" man, who sat on the other side of the table; "$25," "$30" and "$40" were quickly "cached before the old man could get sack the breath he had lost in his first gasp of astonishment. It is solemnly declared in an act of Parliament, 22 Henry VIIL, that "Harder by poison in this realm hitherto, our Lord be thanked, hath been most rare and seldom committed or prac ticed." Us* of Drags. "Who's there?" called William Kiley, the night watchman from below. "Make way! He comes," flew the whisper along the crowd, which divided to let the young man through. He passed with bowed bead and his hat in his hand. Than bega£ ft low buzz of re- It continued until Claude Falls Wright appeared at the doorway and in tones speciailly resur rocted for the occasion from the depths of his diaphragm murmured: "A sale of autograph letters was held yesterday at the rooms of Messrs. Lethbridge. White & Co., where aeme high prices were recorded. Telegraph Poles Attract Bears. Much alarmed, the Zulu chief scuttled out from the wings and started across the stage, but tripped over a chateau, and, doing an avalanche act down the sfc-e of a distant mountain, landed with a tremendous thud on a moonlit lake. Every telegraph pole in the remote districts of Norway has to be continually watched on account of the bears, yylpch have a mania for climbing the poles and sitting on the cross-beams, swaying backward and forward until the polo finally falls. "A lot of six very early and interesting letters, written by Charles Dickons \® whan he was reporting for the Mottling Chronicle, fetched $400; two short notes written by Tennyson in 1850, sold for $®1; and three letters written by Mr. John Fairbairn, and the title page of the original manuscript of his famous novel. The Vision of Present Things,' "This beats me," he said, "but they must be worth having, or Potter and the others wouldn't be so keen." "The bird's neck is drawn back like a letter "S." All of a sudden the bill shoots up and gives the man a gash alongside the eye three inches long. That is what has always happened so far. The wounded bird has missed its aim, but sometime*. and you want to remember it, this feathered spearman will drive its bill fair into its enemy's eye, and like a steel umbrella stick the point of the bill will penetrate the man's brain. Mr. Froude does not question the statement. Speaking of the particular crime which provoked this statute, he asserts that poisoning was actually new to the English people in 1580. It would be safer to credit that the means of identifying poison v*er« new about that time. In fact, we know it was so. One of the earliest incidents is the murder of Brithric, King of Wessex, by his Queen Eadburgha. Innumerable are the persons whose death was attributed to poison after this date. But the express assertion of the Commons may be accepted as evidence that Englishmen were not very familiar with the idea in 1530. "Fifty dollars" was reached, when, to my immense surpr'se, Mr. Hay called out "Fifty five dollars!" and as he was at once taken up ard passed by my man "C," I leaned back in the chair and fairly luxuriated in the scene. Th* ordinary habitues of the salesroom went completely nonplussed. But Hay dif not notice it—he was too much en. grossed. A bid of $65 had come from my fourth limit man, &nd Hay chimed in. only to be cut out by my fifth string with $70. "Stop! or I'll shoot," shouted the voice, now nearer, and Kiley, carrying a lantern, appeared on the stage. The Zulu chief attempted to retire but knocked against a tree and brought it down with a crash. At the same moment Kiloy Hashed the light of the Tantern upon hiin, and beheld an uncanny figure, with a matlike mane and a terrific countenance. A SILVER WKDDINO. "Silence! Silencs! There must be lees noise. It interrupts the train of thought; the mighty forces that are at work within; the essence that is working toward a mighty end for the benefit of the race must not be disturbed."HGREAT IS THE BANANA. Mr. and Mrs. Charles Sutherland Have an All the People of tlie Earth Could Live Interesting Celebration. (Wllkesbatre Record.) were secured by Mr. Watchet, after a brisk competition, for $76." That's how things stand to-day with Fairbairn; anything of bis sells—includ- including his autograph. The banana, which alone of fruits possesses all the essentials to the sustenance of human life, is worth more than all the others, and is thus the most valuable fruit in the world. Even with us it fairly holds its own when com pared with any other fruit, while in some countries—Africa, for instanceits position is as important as that of wheat in this country or rice in China. Over the larger part of the Dark Con tipent it is the staple article of native food, and every African village has its banana fields, as we have fields of pota toes or corn. on it Alone. Twenty yesrs ago Oharlee F. Sutherland was married at Oarverton, this county, to Miss Frantz, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. George Frantz, of that pla te. The oeremony was performed by Bev. Joseph Madl son. The twenty-fifth anniversary of that nappy event was celebrated May 7 at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Sutherland, 160 North Franklin street. The honw was tilled with a large company of friends who came to offer their congratulation, and the affair was one of the most enj Dyable of its kind held in the city. Then he disappeared. Dead silence re sumed its reign, but there was a goodly proportion of women present and it was good betting that the reign would shortly be terminated. It was. Soon the buzz broke out again, very gently, but still with force enough to encourage the Sun reporter to ask a question from the man next to him. "I guess the bird's aim has always been spoiled by the pain of its wounds, and so many a human life has been saved. I don't monkey with wounded bitterns or cranes—well, scarcely."— "Q g g good Lord," he twittered, his teeth chattering. "What are youf' But, four years ago, his position with the public was very different, and I am going to tell you how small a thing was really the turning push which veered the needle around on the dial, and then set it for'his future. With a thump on the table Hay looked at the auctioneer and gasped, "Seventy-five dollatsl" A final glance around, the mallet fell, and Mr. Hay had bought two of the despised John Fairbairn's letters. In an instant an inspiration came to the Zulu chief. For the first time he remembered he had his war costume on, and he determined to make use of it. Leaping in the air he gave a terrific howl and flourished his assegai, to the great detriment of an ancestral staircase that happened to be in the way. "Ikey pikey-sikey crikey!" he yelled. "Whoop! WahM Wow!!!" New York Sun No Rip Van Wlukles Wanted. This story is told of Mr. Joseph Jefferson : If poisoning had been rare before, it became terribly common. Among Elizabeth's statesmen it was regarded aa a weapon of defense almost legitimate. Her favorite Leicester was called for short "The Poisoner." Young Englishmen of rank and parts visited Italy to finish their education, and too many of them learned to take the Italian view in this matter. Fairbairn and I both played at being barrister* after we left Oxford, and both found it necessary to do bread and butter work for journals whose editors considered our stuff worth paying for. Of course this sett'ed the whole thing, for Hay was the last man ever to go back on his own judgment. As we went out together be said to me: "What are they doing inside?" A number of years ago he played a one night engagement in a small Indiana town, appearing in his favorite part. The hotel at which he stayed was infested by an Irishman "recently landed," who acted as porter and general assistant. Judged by the deep and serious interest which he took in the house, he might have been clerk, lessee and proprietor rolled into one. "Shi" he said, with so profane an ac cent that the reporter dropped him and tackled a moon faced youth with stringy hair which interfered with the set of hia collar. Bev. Joseph Madison, who Is now located at Yatesvllle, delivered an appropriate address and J. 0. Hltchner, the Weet Pittston humorist, who was present at the wed ding of Mr. and Mrs. Sutherland and every fifth year's celebration thereafter, epuke in bis usual happy manner. At eleven o'clock the guests sat down to a fine supper. Although some varieties of the ba nana attain the size of small trees, it is an herbaceous plant, and the kind most generally cultivated for their fruit are the dwarfs, which grow to a height of but four or 'five feet. The smallest of these produce the delicate fig bananas, unknown to Northern markets, but almost the only ones eaten as fruit in countries where the banana is grown. While the little fig banana is always classed as a fruit, plantains, which are the largest of the family, are invariably fried or baked and regarded as vegeta hies. This went on for a couple of years, when, by the death of a relative, I came into a working share of a patent pill. From that time on I found ample scope for my literary ability in writing advertisements for the pill. "You must forgive me for what I said the other evening about Mr. Fair bairn. I had no idea he stood so high, but you can't have a surer test of a man's position than the price his letters fetch." "Lord ha' mercy," cried the terrified watchman; "it's a wild man!" and he made a bolt with intention to exit, but collided with the wing, which knocked him flat. "Can you tell me what is going on insidef the reporter asked. What was that view we have a glut of evidence; an incident related by the Duke de Guise in his memoirs is aa significant as any and not so familiar. He tells in a matter of-fact way how he requested the captain of his guard to poniard an ' obnoxious demagogue at Naples. The youth almost had apoplexy. His face turned purple, and his eyes turned up until the pupils disappeared. With a low, gurgling moan he ejaculated; As he rose the Zulu chief was flourish ing a hatchet. It was a papier mache hatchet, but Kiley didn't know that. But Fairbairn had to keep his nose to the grindstone and wanted the leisure to do his best work; and then he got engaged to Elinor Hay. I murmured a polite rejoinder and said: At ab ac six o'clock in the morning, Mr. was startled by a violent thumping on his door. When he struggled into consciousness, and realized that he had lett no call at the office, de was naturally indignant. But his deep was spoiled for that morning, so he arose, and soon after appeared before the clerk. "Wubblety jubblety-jububl" whooped the savage. "Whoo-eo-eeee!" and he flung his hatchet straight at Kiley's "Your mistake wrs quite pardonable, MV. Hay, for Mr. Fairbairn is one of those quietly brill'ant men who are really right up at tae top of the tree, but who make no fuss of self-advertisement.""Sh h h h-h." Among the guests were the following from West Pittston- Mrs. Laura L. Sutherland, Mr. and Mrs. W. H. Jackson, Mis- Minnie J tokaon, Mr. and Mre. Ben junta Emory, Mr and Mrs. J. B. Hayes, Mr. and Mrs John Bcureman, Mr and Mrs. Joseph Hltohner, Mrs Sadie Sohooley, Mrs. Cyntnia Bommell, Miss Jean Hayes, James McMillan and wife. Her father, Andrew Hay, was a wealthy north country manufacturer retired from business, a man of whims and crotches, which were strong in proportion to their unreasonableness. Any one might have supposed it was a countersign. The reporter on this ba sis, approached a nice old lady in cork screw curls who was communing with herself in one of the corners, and ejacu lated: head, The captain was shocked. Ha would poison any one at His Grace's command with pleasure, but tha dagger waa a low-lived instrument. So the Duke bought some murdr rous drug, the composition of which he describes at length, and it was duly administered, but Gennaro, his enemy, had just eaten cab bage dressed in oil, which served as an antidote somehow. "Help!" shrieked Kiley. Help! Police!" "Murder! Seizing his lantern he cleared the footlights at a bound, dashed up through the aisle, and out into the street, still shrieking until he found Policeman Frazer of the East Fifty- first street sta tion. He told Frazer that a gorilla with a spear was in the theatre doing a specialty act to an empty house. Frazer said that he'd see about it. Meantime the Zulu chief had set out exploring for a way out and had found the fire escape. Dp this he started, and had got pretty well up when Frazer came back on the stage, and, hearing him, put his head out of the rear window. The sight he saw somewhat amazed him, but he only A number of delicious desserts may be prepared by cutting ripe bananas in to thin slices and serving with custard, with lime juice and sugar, with lemon juice and desiccated cocoanut, or in other ways that will suggest themselves. Bananas can be dried as easily as peach "S or apples. In this condition they will keep for a long time, and may be •Daten by themselves or used in the mak ing of pies, cakes or puddings. Among his crotchets were an absurd belief in Bloxom's pills, which cant hold an invalid's ni«?ht light to mine; a fancy for horse hair sofas and dining room chairs, which, besides being most uncomfortable and slippery, are terribly wearing to one's trousers; an extraordinarily high opinion of successful and well known authors and an entire contempt for those not eminent. "Yes, yes; it must be so, and I must make amends for my mistake. Will you come and meet him at dinner on Friday?' On the morning after the dinner Fairbairn formally proposed for Miss Hay and her father at once consented. "See here," he demanded of this individual, "why was I called at this unearthly hour?" "Shi" responded the old lady, with great promptitude. "ShT Much encouraged, the reporter tried the question on her. "I don't know, sir," answered the clerk. "I'll ask Mike." TBI-COONTY ENDEAVOREKS. The income from his wife's money was not long needed by Fairbairn, for the report of the sale of his letters brought him into prominent notice, and his own clever work cemented hii success. "Can you tell me what the proceedings behind those doors are?" Tha Irishman was accordingly sum moned. Scientific persons think it not lznpoasible that the legend of Mithridates, who is said to have made himself "immune" against tha poisons of his age and country, may hava some basis of truth. The same story is told in India with picturesque detail. Mahmud L of Ahmedabad—he w'10 drove the Portuguese out of Gujarat—ate poisons to the degree that his broath was fatal. He greeted an enemy with a kiss, and the man died instanter. His wives always perished before morning, so agents traveled without ceasing through hia territories, kidnapping lovely girls, who were sent to Ahmedabad through a subterranean passage twenty miles long— the passage at least exists to this day for a testimony. To him Hudibras refers as the • Arrangements for the Convention Here on May 28d. Said the clerk: "Mike, there was no call for Mr. Jefferson. Why did you The TrI Connty Christian Endeavor Union will'meet in this city on Friday, May 82 There will be three sessions—at 10a m., 2 and 7:30 p. m. Societies are requested to instant delegates how to vote on an amendment to the by-laws, providing for an annual convention instead of semi-annual. The sessions will be full of pro&t. There will be interesting and help ful addresses. In order to develope and locate latent talent, the Executive Committee has dsclded to ask for competitions on the following subjects: (•) "Elements ot Snocess in a Prayer Meeting (b) "Elements of Success in Committee Work.' The oompetitlons will be opan to all actiye In the Union, and essays, not more than 300 words in length, shoald be In the ban 1b of the Secretary on or before Hay 16. The Executive Committee will award, to the beet six, prizes and honorable mention. One hour will be given in the afternoon to theee oompetitlons. "Sh h-h-h-h!" broke out the old lady, prolonging the word to the forty-seventh degree, and shaking her corkscrew curls very violently, whereupon a dozen •Dr more others joined in, and the reporter felt as if he had inadvertently tapped a steam boiler. "▲ route has Been surveyed from the terminus of the Jersey Central's old Nantiooke branoh about theoollierlee near Plains and Fort Blanchard, to Port Blanohard, where it will connect with the Erie & Wyoming Valley. This connecting link will be a little over a mile in length. The Jersey Central will build a new switch from the end of Its old track at the Enterprise mine at Plalnsvllle. It will extend along the hillside parallel with the electrle road to a point a short distanoe above Piainsville, where many years ago the Mitchell drift mine was operated. Here the road will turn Bananas require a damp, rich soil; lint that being given, they repay the abor of planting and such slight cultivation as is required to keep them free from other growtlis, with a yield so tfreat as to be out of all proportions to the work expended upon them. disturb him?" But the man was a curiosity in other ways; he would spend large sums on his hobbies and autograph letters, and yet I believe he was almost parsimonious about his household expenses. They were afraid to tell old Hay about their engagement, for Elinor told Fairbairn—who was quite frank with her about his means—in what light her fa ther regarded authors who had yet to arrive. Taking the clerk by the lapel of the coat, the Hibernian led him to one side, and said, in a mysterious manner: But you can now see why I started bj laying that Fairbairn lacks resource, because he might have thought of th« plan himself, but then he is merely a talented man—he has not the genius which is at the call of a writer of advertisements for Pinkerton's Pills.— "He were shnoring like a horse, sir, ' and Oi'd heard the b'ys saying some thing about how he were once after | shleopin' for twinty years, so I says to meself, 'Moike, it's a-comin' onto him ag"in, and it's yer duty to get the creature out o' the house instantly.'"—Harper's Magazine. Finally a mornful looking man took the reporter aside and asked in sepulchral toues what he wanted. said 'Come down from there." "Hunky-tunky-tunk! Whoosh! Chil limawallebadory!" vociferated the Zu lu chief, thinking he could scare this one away, too. After a while, too, the plants aid in their own cultivation by so covering the ground about them with their own refuse leaves as effectually to prevent any other growth in their immediate vicinity. "I'd like to know what they're doing inside," said the reporter. The Sketch, For the Kjtm, "You'll not call me that twice," said Frazer, and he climbed out on the fire escape and chased the wild man to the roof, where he captured hiin. Straightway the Zulu chief was transformed into a very much scared youth who protested that he had done nothing wrong. —New York Sun. "Karma," replied the mournful look ing man. One afternoon, after about three months of his clandestine engagement, Miss Hay was calling on my wife, who was in the secret, and, when asking us to go to dinner at Gastbrook, said to me:—"I do wish, Mr. Mildmay, yon Would think of some plan to make father think more of John; it is tt wretched." When the eyes ache close them for five minutes. "Who's Karma?" asked the astonished reporter. His Fish Story waa True. So generous is the fruitage of this extraordinary plant that its food product was estimated by Baron Von Humboldt to be one hundred and thirty-three times greater than that of wheat, and forty four times more than that of po tatoes. In other words, if a certain urea of ground would produce thirtythree pounds of wheat or ninety nine of potatoes, an equal area of banana land would yield four thousand pounds ol fruit, containing all the life sustaining properties of both wheat and potatoes. Von Humboldt also asserted that the arable lands of Central America alone can produce enough of the fruit to feed the world. "The afternoon, when we were in the Indian Ocean," said the Captain, "I noticed a shark swimming round the ship, and I didn't like it a bit. Tou know the superstitition to the effect that a following shark presages the death of one of the ship's company. He sailed around us all the next day, and the next after that, and I determined to catch him and quell my un When they burn bathe them in water as hot as can be borne, with a dash of witch hazel in it. "Karma is not who; it is what," responded bis informant, thereby giving an explanation of that mystic word more concise and definite than any hith erto heard at this convention. up a hollow, make a detour of the neck of woods and cross the drive road near Abbott's station. The Jersey Central will connect with the Erie & Wyoming Valley tracks in the region of No. 14 breaker, just below Port Blanehard. The Jersey Oenttal's Nantlcoke branch extends from near the Jersey Central depot In Miner's liills over towards (he river. It goee aronnd the hill on which the town of Plains is built and then tnrne toward Wilkeebarre, running parallel with the Wilkeebarre & E istern tracks until opposite Duck Pond. It skirts along the base of the hill on which are the Oakwood and Prospect oollilerles and runs parallel with the Lehigh traoks at Mill Creek carve. Near the plank road bridge under whic i the Lehigh Valley passes, tae Jersey Central goee np the hill and orossee the plank road at grade just above the bridge, and then rnns along to the several collieries' In that vicinity until it reaohes the Enterprise, the end Already supplies have been distributed for the purpoee of fixing up this old line. The Lehigh Valley will be considerably After weeping bathe them in rose water and lay a towel in rose water over them for five minutes. " Prince of Cambay, whose daily food Is asp and basilisk and toad." For his victory over the Portuguese had won him renown in Europe.—London Evening Standard. "But how do they do it?" asked the reporter.' "Miss Hay," I answered as a thought flashed on me. "Let us make a com pact. If I succeed in making your father think highly of John as an author, will you sit to my artist for 'Brought Up On Pinkerton's Pills?' A first class black and white poster, you know, (100 fee and free pills for life." When they are bloodshot more. sleep REPLIED TO BILLY FLORENCE. A Spectator who Annwered the Comedl an'* CJuration. "Shi" said the mournful man with an emphasis which may have indicated that he didn't know the answer to that question, so the reporter tried him with an easier one. When the whites are yellow and th« pupils dull consult your doctor about your diet.—Evening World. William J. Florence, the comedian, had a reputation for bright stories and practical jokes. The following one, is said, by Harper's Round Table, to have been told by him at a dinner one evening, when the conversation turned on traveling theatre companies: MISSISSIPPI'S GREAT CAVERN. "We baited a hook, and after a short time captured and killed him. Then we cut him up. Do you know what we found in that shark's inside? No? Well, a newspaper, unopened, and it will surprise you, as it did me, when I tell you that it was addressed to myself."easiness. A Cave which May Rival the Famous One of Kentucy. A MEW POWER HOUSE Lord WoUeley Like* Our Patriotism. What is the process they are going through in there?" According to the statement of a gentleman from Mico, Jasper county can boast of a cave that may some day equal the well renowned Mammoth cave of Kentucky. The opening to the cave is situated on the farm of Squire Mc Laurin, twelve miles from Mico. It has been explored for about a quarter of a mile, and gradually increases in magnitude. The opening is about four feet square, hollowed out of solid limestone rock. Will be Itullt at Avoca by the Seranton Lord Wolseley, the British Comtnan der- in-Chief, in a public address recent ly, said that he could not help thinking it was a good thing for the school children of the United States to be brought up in the conviction that they belonged to the greatest nation in the world, and must be ready to fight for it, and be added that he would like to see every child in an English school taught to admire and love his country and the constitution under which he lived, so that he would be prepared to maintain that constitution against all comers. and Plttston Co. She laughed, but I assured her I meant it, and finally the compact was made. "They are absorbing the essence of the spirit of ecstasy," replied the mournful man, rolling up his eyes with the easy action of a patent window shade. The disagreement between the Seranton Traction Company and the Seranton and Plttston Traction Company, as to who shall furnish the power for the Plttston line, has at last been settled. At a meeting of the the companies, held in Soranton on Thursday, May 7, It was «greed that the Soranton and Plttston Company should build a new power house for the Plttston line, it being Impossible to secure sufficient power from the Soranton house to do the required work. The exact location of the new power station has not yet been determined, but it is expected that It will be plaoed near Avoca, and that work thereon will be btarted at Dnce, in order to have the Plttston line in operation by the middle of summer. "Years ago," said Florence. "I was in a small company skipping from town to town. We had met with extremely bad luck up to our landing in the town of D—. There we found the lowest ebb of all, for when the curtain rolled up there were just two persons in the audience, a young lady in the orchestra chair and a young man in the front row of the balcony. Few bananas are raised within tho limits of the United State*, only the extreme southern portions of Florida and California being available for their cultivation; but with the ever increasing facilities for their importation they are becoming so plentiful that new and uitherto undreamed of uses are rapidly iDeing found for them. On the following Monday we went to dinner at Mr. Hay's. The only other guests were Fair bairn and a Miss Peters —a friend of Elinor. "Do I understand you to mean that they are taking a drink f inquired the reporter, still striving after accurate information.A shout of great laughter went up from the Captain's audience, who winked at each other unblushingly. He, however, took all the bantering in good part, and when the jeers were ended be said: After dinner the old man got showing us some of his thing 4, and Fair bairn, at my advising, played up to old Hay and admired his autograph letters when 1m pulled out his portfolios. I remejnbered one he showed us was • little scrap written by Charles IL, when a boy, to his guardian, the Earl of Newcastle, who had been chiding him for not taking his medicine. "Young man," said the Theosophist, after a scrutiny of entirely undeserved severity; "such matters as eating and drinking have no place in their lofty thoughts. They are struggling with the | mighty problem of the past, the present and the future. Only those of lofty spirit can take part in that council. We all hope some day to attain to it I am now here in the hope of re ceiving some of the psychic influences that emanate from that room." "Now, gentlemen, I'll tell you how it happened. I found that my children had been skylai king the day before in the cabin. They found among the mass of reading that had been brought on board some unopened newspapers addressed to me. They had been throwing these newspapers at each other, and one of them went" out of the porthole. The shark saw it, of course, and gobbled it down, and that was how it happened. Now, gentlemen, judge for yourselves the truth of my story."— Several exploring parties have entered the cave and penetrated to the distance named, when, afraid of the strange sounds heard in the cave, they would turn back. The faintest whisper can be heard with startling dis tinctness, and when spoken loudly can be heard for several seconds echoed and re-echoed. "We went on with the performance however, possibly to warm ourselves more than anything else. According to my part, I was helping the heroine to escape the clutches of the villain, and in one of my lines, I said, 'Have you noticed that even the bright moon is rising to light us on our way?' Before she had time to reply, the young inan in the balcony called out: A banana meal which will keep as long as wheat flour, and make an in finitely more nutritious bread, is prom ise*l for the immediate future. Beei and sausages made from the fruit have successfully passed the experimental stages. Banana skins contain a tough fibre from which the finest of cloth can be woven. The juice yielded by these skins during the process of extracting their fibre can be used either as an in •lelible ink or fermented into good vinegar.A Oulbert Wink. The Queen has a Gailbert sort of a wink in her eye as she talks to Jameson about bis being snub a bad boy.—Council Bluffs Nonpariel. Later in the evening the old gentle man showed me some recent acquisitions, and among them was an early letter he bought, at a high price, written by Mr. George Meredith. A .Maiden Aataorau naya Her May. Inconvenienced, as a good deal of thla branch in the vloinity of Port Bowkley was used for shifting purposes." Miss Marie Corelli writes to the New fork Herald that she is a most modest and retiring person, and that she refuses all requests for her portrait or to appear before the public, though she might make a great deal of money by reading from her own works. She de niee that she declined to have her latest book, "The Sorrows of Satan," sent to the reviewers out of spite, but declares that she wanted to show them that it would sell without their praise or blame; and she adds that she has the pleasure of knowing that 30,000, out of the 80,000 already disposed of, were sold before a single notice of the book had been published. Miss Corelli admits that she is a fighter, and that she has not scruplod to return the blows aimed at her with interest, "as all should who set value on the noble art of self defence.'" In concluding her tirade, she says: "I am. happily, unmarried [which is much better than being unhappily married], and I live, as most young unmarried women live, at home with my relatives, controlled by them in such wise that 1 certainly should not be allowed either a cigarette or a latch- key, were 1 foolish enough to demand these 'new woman' privileges!" She also denies that she is patronized by the royal family of Eng land, though the Queen and the Prince of Wales read her books. Not long since a party of three entered the cave, taking lightwood torches with them. They had penetrated a short distance when some bats flew into the face of the torch bearer. From fright he threw the torch down, which was extinguished. Then a scramble for the opening resulted in several bumped heads and muddy suits. " 'I am not so certain about the lady down stairs, but I can see it all right.'" The reporter didn't notice any psychic influences emanate, but he did see Claude Falls Wright perform that same ict some time later. Mr. Wright's iureole whiskers had paled three shades and there were under his eyes those puffy rings that may indicate either an hour with the gods of which he made mention or a night with the boys. The reporter asked him what business had been transacted within. Mr. Wright turned a shade paler. We have made some inquiries and find that the Record article is oorrect so far as it goes. It shows bow the Central oan oome Into Plttston from the South, but does not tell how the trains oan oonttnue to Soranton by this route, whloh is equally important. In the first place, it will be neoeeeary to build a short line from the present terminus of the Erie and Wyoming's Plttston branoh, at the foot of old No. 2 plane, up through the ravine along Broad street and oonnect with the Erteand Wyoming main line at Broad street Junction. This will be the eaBleet part of the task. This at once suggested to me my plan ai action. I thought it out as I went home, and the next day set to work. Funeral of Watkln Powell. Could anything be more contrary to our preconceived notions than bananatas a food for babes? Yet only last sum mer I was introduced to a perfectly, well, sturdy and rosy cheeked little chap a year old who, so his parents as sure me, had never tasted milk, and had, during the first six months of his life, been fed wholly on ripe bananas.— Youth's Companion. London Answers. The funeral of Watkln W. Powell, a trell known member of Plttston's Battery M, took place Wednesday, May 6th from he family heme in Kingston. The American flag whioh the ladies of Plttetou presented to Battery M, in 1862, and under which the Battery boys took the oftth of allegiance, was spread over the coffin, and there were many beautiful floral tributee Brief eervloes were held at the house, Rev. D. L. Davis, of Edwardsvllle, offering prayer. The servloee were continued at the M. E. C uroh in Plymouth. Rav. Mr. Davis read the Sorlptures Rev. Dr. Severson, the pastor, spjke very effectively, calling attention to the exoellent character of the deceased and to bis services to bis oountry on the field of battle. R jv H. C idoDermott, of Kingston, also delivered . brief address. Several beautiful hymns were rendered in a very touching manner by a quartette from Kingston. Iaterment ▼as made in the Shawnee Cemetery. The pall bearers were William Gee, John BCrnee, John F Grube, Wm. H. Davis, Benj J. Evans, and Hiram Lewis. The following memers of Battery M attended the funeral: Evan J. Evans, Wm. Gee, John Btrnee, John F Grnbe, Samu 1 Davlee, George Archer, James Orr, Diniel Williams, John Tench and Benjtmln J. Evans all of this place; Wm H Davlee, Thomas Jenkins, Frank M Glrton, of Ply moatb; L H Wlnt, Frank Hughes, Seranton; Wm. H. Shaver, Kingston; Jetbro Barber, Wilkesbarie. First I went to a well known London dealer in autographs, and bought $125 worth of letters. I added to these— which included one by Carlyle and two of Thackeray's—a couple of notes written to me some years ago by Fair bairn. Queen Victoria'* Donkey. Doves Instead of Clutmpagrne. The story of the purchase of the Queen's favorite donkey is not very widely know. During her Majesty's first stay at Aix les Bains, eleven years ago, it was bought from a peasant by the wayside for 200 francs. Jack was being driven peaceably along the banks of the lake, when the Queen asked his owner if he would part with him. It is customary among most civilized nations, when launching or christening a vessel, to break a bottle of champagne or other wine over hor bows. The Japanese, with their usual thrifty notions, do not believe in this unneces sary waste. When they christen a vessel, instead of breaking a bottle, they liberate a number of pigeons. At the christening of the Yashima, the largest and most powerful battleship ever constructed for the Japanese navy, which took place a short time ago at the Elswick shipyard, on the Tyne, this unusual sight was seen. Madame Kato, the wife of a member of the Japanese Embassy, christened the vessel and let loose the pigeons at the same time. It would be interesting to know what the origin, meaning and intention of the custom was. Beautiful stalactites hang from the roof of the cave, and when viewed by torchlight look like millions of diamonds. There is another opening four miles from the one named, and it is sup posed to be a part of the same cave. A public road passes between the two caves, and at one point a rumbling sound can be heard, which goes to show that a subterranean cavern exists beneath the road.—Memphis Commercial Appeal. 1 then went to one of the literary salesrooms and gave in all the lettersincluding Fairbaira's—with a commis sion for their sale at the next auction. "Business," he said in a hushed voice; ''do not speak of business. This was a meeting of the higher spirits." "That depends, madauie," said the old peasant; "if I sell my donkey, I shall not be able to get my living any more." TWO CANADIAN STAPMS FOR $1,320. At the same time I obtained from the manager the names and addressee of half a dozen regular attendants at their auctions, and, calling a hansom, vest to see each of them. My formula was the same in each case. I said:—"At Blank's sale next Tuesday some of Kr. John Fairbaira's letters will be put Bp." High Prices Paid for Kare Postage Stamps "But can you not tell ' by Collector* "I can tell nothing. It would be sac tilege. The common htrd would not understand those mighty secrets that we reverently discussed. It is horrible to think of that the mysteries of the age should be made common by the power jf the press. What was it you wanted to know?" Two little pieces of paper, which, when originally issued by the Canadian Government, were valued at 12 cents each, were sold at auction in Boston recently for $1,820. Prom Scranton the Central tracks ran on the west side of the river to Minooka Junction, and there remains between that point and the nearest point on the Erie and Wyoming a stretch of abont four miles of road to be built. There are two routes proposed, though the fact is that the territory between the two points mentioned has been so occapiod by tire Delaware and Hudsoa Company, on the east side of the river, and the Delaware, Lackawanna and Western Company, on the west side, that the Central will of necessity be com pelled to choose between ion tee that the other companies have rejected. By elevating its tracks at Minocka Junction, and crossing Oak aud Fox Hills, on the east side of the river, the Central Company could strike the Erie and Wyoming tracks at a point just above the powder mills in Moosic. Or the tracks could be extended down the west side of the river from Minooka Junction, cross the river near Mooeic and reach the Erie and Wyoming tracks at a point near No. 11 shaft. Either of the two routes could be made available by the use of a system of retaining walls, and tliey are in reality the only routes by which the Central can reach the center of bath Pittston and Scran ton. "How much did you give for him?" she asked. "A hundred francs, uiadam," was the answer. THINKS DANTE WAS INSANE. "Well, I will give you double," and the bargain was forthwith concluded. All Canadian stamps of the issue of 1851 are rare, but these two 12-cent stamps are believed to be the only unused ones of the kind printed on laid paper. The stamps were bought by Mr. Needham, of Hamilton, Ont., who sold these stamps to the company hold in# the auction and got $1,500 for them. Mr. Needham bought a number of other Canadian stamps at prices ranging from $10 to $185. A Learned Italian on the Author of the "Who is Mr. John Fairbairnf was the invariable question that was interposed."He's the author of 'Lucy Armitage,' and—er—er—why, surely you know himr The story of the sale spread through the land, and since then whenever her Majesty took her drives abroad, wheth er at Biarritztor Aix-les Bains, she was sure to meet on her road one or two peasants leading a handsome but at tenuated donkey.—Tit-Bits. Following in the footsteps of a learned Frenchman, an equally erudite Italian has now practically proclaimed to the world that Dante Alighieri was a luna tic. Dr. Durand Fardel is the Frenchman responsible for this assertion, which was made a long time ago. It has been revived, with variations and additions, by no less a person than Prof. Lombroso, who has abandoned the study of criminals of the present in order to diagnose the mental condition of great meu of the past. Divine Comedy. "If the new Mahatma was present," suggested the reporter. "He was there, but he did not reveal himself, nor will he do so for a year after Mr. Judge's departure to greater spheres of activity. But he was there. Oil. v«s: he was thC*re." MOt UKBIJ MD OT UIIHppOinUHi, An inquisitive person passing along a country road stopped to talk with a farmer hoeing corn. The Hostess—I suppose there is no use of asking you to stay for dinner? Caller—Not iu that way.— Cleveland Plain Dealer. But none of the six men did, so I told each of them privately to bid for these two lettera of Falrbairn's for me. I named my price limit at $50 for bidder "A" and at $75 for bidder "E," letting my limit to the foar others increase by |5 from $«) to $73. Royal Beneficence DUSE AND HER PICTURES. Effect of Culture on Crows. Among the crowned heads who take tlio greatest interest in charity are the King of Italy and the Dowager Empress of Russia. At Christmas and Easter time the former gives away thousands of pounds to charity, and not very long ago insisted that % court ball should be abandoned and the money distributed among the poor. Nothing can exceed the enthusiasm with which the Dowager Czarina takes up charitable work. Not only is she herself most generous, but she also knows how to influence others. The greatest work she has done is undoubtedly the erection by law, but on her initiative, of foundling hospitals in numerous parts of the vast Russian Empire. At every theatre and music hall in Russia a tax is paid on all tickets sold, and this large sum goes to the foundling hospitals, Tbe tax is 0 per cent., and is paid by the buyer. A five-cent St. Louis, 1845 6, which was a postmaster's provisional issue, $251, while a 10 cent specimen of the sdme date brought $105. United States Government issues sold from $90 down. The former price was paid for an 1851 6 30-cent imperforated, unused, which is one of the rarest of United States stamps. Her Potto in Admiring a Painting. She Mrs. Eugene Daniels, of Canaan, N. H., has a tame crow that is a curiosity. It is alDout 18 months old, and has been in captivity from the nest. It talks and seems to understand what is said to it, and ia fond of music. It goes to church every Sunday, and waiU outside till th« owa flirnuirli "Your corn is small," said the inquisitive person. Loves Opals. At the Durand Ruel galleries the other day there were received fifty pictures of Duse, photographed from the portrait of her by Gordigiani. The pictures, which are about three feet square, are to be signed by both Duse and Gordigiani and sold for $25. They were o rdered with the understanding that there were to be only fifty of them. I had put my pian in shape, and now see about the most effective denouement of it as regards old Hay. Two days later I received from the Salesrooms a printed catalogue which contained particulars of the letters I had given in for the sale, and which did not mention my name as the owner of them. "Yes. I planted that kind," replied the farmer. It was said long since by a father of the Church that there is no genius untinged with an admixture of madness; but, according to Prof. Lombroso, Dante was subject to epileptic fits; and Dr. Durand Fardel sees in the visions of hell, heaven and purgatory the result of a maniac's dreams. "It looks yellow." "I planted yollow corn." '•I don't think you'll get more than half a crop." What We Inherit A mild argument had been in prog roes over the importance which woman has assumed as a worker in competition with men. A Home Thrimt 'How customs and practices differ on different Bides of the earth," remarked Mayor Sutro, apropos of a discussion in the City Hall Commission of the dura" bility of mosaic. How Turkey and Nevada Differ. "Don't expect to—I planted it on shares."—Buffalo Courier. We are not to blame for. We cannot be held responsi le for the disposition!) add tendenciss which we derive from oar ancestors, nor are we responsible for the germs of disease which may manifest themseljee In onr blood as a heritage from former generations Bat we are responsible If we allow these germs to develop Into serious diseases whioh will Impair onr usefulness aod destroy oar happiness. We are responsible If we transmit to oar deoendants the disease germs whioh It la possible for as to eradicate by the use of Hood's Sarsapartlla, the one trae blood purifier. This medicine his power to make rich, red blood and establish perfect health In plaoe of disease. The railroad man with whom we discussed the matter, this morplng, said that whllo there Is a possibility of the plan falling through, yet there is strong probability of it being consuinated, and he regarded it as a big thing for this vicinity, believing as he doae, the Central to be an enterprising company with which any community ought to be glad to have itself cliwely c jnnected. Duse often spent the morning in these galleries during her stay in New York. She always wore a plain, dark gown, a small hat and very magnificent furs, and she usually held a bunch of violets in her hand. She was often unattend ed, but sometimes accompanied by her companion. "With this in my pocket I went over to Eastbrook in the evening, for a game of billiards, and, during the game, tnrned the talk to Hay's hobby. Big Pay for Skill In Cookery. Prof. Lombroso further expatiates on the irascibility, the inordinate vanity, and the violent character of the Florentine poet; and, according to a French writer who has broached the subject, it is "henceforward evident to everybody that Dante was fit for the strait waistcoat." All this, however, will not rob the genius who supposed to have seen the hell of his immortality. When ex Senator Sawyer's daughters i/ere little girls their fathor promised /) make them a handsome prosent when they were able to cook him a satisfactory dinner. Ten years later they reminded him of the promts* and served him with a dinner with which he bad not the least fault to find. That same day the Senator gave each one of the young women a check for $25,000. "Thur ain't no use In talkin'," he asserted, aggressively. "Thur's a whole lot o' things thet a man can do theta wo man can't." "By the way, I was so interested with those autographs you showed me last Monday that I am thinking of making a collection." "One reason that it lasted so long in Venice and other cities was that no shoes with nails in the soles were worn, and in Turkey every man who enters a mosque must first take off his shoes. They were going to send me to jail once because I objected to removing my shoes when 1 went in the place. Now I remember that once when a drunken miner in Nevada insisted on taking his boots off in church so that he could sleep better one of the deacons shot three of his toes off. "—San Francisco Post. "I'd like ter know some of 'em," Hhe responded, with a very contemptuous sniff. One day when she was there the "Vision Antique" of Puvis de Chevannes was unpacked. When it was shown to her she sat down on the floor in front of it, Japanese fashion, and went into ecstasy over it. Do Not Do This. "I got the catalogue to day from Blank's," I went on as I took it from my pocket. "You might look through it and mark what you think likely." Do not be induced to bay any other If yon have made up your mind to take Hood's 8arsap»rllla. R member that Hood's Sarsaparllla cures when ali others fall. Do not give up In despair because other medicines have failed to help yoa. Take Hood's Sarsaparllla faithfaliy and you may reasonably expeot to be oared. Hood's Pills are purely vegetable, carefully prepared from the beet ingredients. 25o. "Wal, for instance, she can't sharpen a lead pencil." He U a Handy Man. "I suppose thet's so," she answered slowly, "I suppose thet's so. I'll bev ter give in ter ye thur. But I notice thet if she can't sharpen a lead pencil she kin take an ax an' go out ter wood pile an' split kindling right regular. An' thur won't be nobody tryin' ter raise the least disyute ez tef her abiiity to do it. nutber."—Detroit Free Press. Too Much for the Kaffirs. Didn't Need It. Senator Wolcott, of Colorado, is ambidextrous. He can shave with a razor in each hand, and write with two pens at the same time. "Hay had not looked long at the list before he exclaimed: "Who is this? John Fair bairn, two early letters? Who's John Fairbairn?" Golf is apparently too much for the intellect of the South African Kaffir. A tall warrior, we are told, saw several unskillful players playing over an African course, and he appeared to take the _________ deepest interest in their efforts to get I This is the season of the year when the hall out of one of the many deep | your neighbor buys a hoe and rake and bunkers that abound in the links of that a garden seeds and pretends to lDe better than vou are.—Atchison Globe. "I have here," said the agent, "a little book that will show you how to be your own lawyer." "If it would show me how to bo some one else's lawyer," said the man with the black beard that was gray at the roots, "I might buy it. "But what is the use for a man to learn how to rob himself."—Indianapolis Journal. 1 It is said that she will buy this picture, which is valued at $5,000 before sho leaves America. It is a copy of his cathedral painting. The only mural painting of his in America is in the library at Boston. "Why, yon know John Fairbairn, Mr. Hay —he dined here last Monday." The Lut Word, of Course. He—They say Lillian Russell has a gold mounted bicycle. She—That's nothing. • diamond frame. "What? Him I Who the devil wants his letters. 1 should like to know?,' My wheel has Make It a point to see that yoor blood ia purified, enriched and Tltalia-'d at tMs seaton with Hood's Sarsaparllla. When Duse is looking at a picture she unconsciously assumes a poee simi J*. Milfls'itit.% f¥tM are guaranteed tosfoa ptfttiUif he. Iu20 mltiuU** g fir»Mi |
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