Pittston Gazette

              Oldest Newspaper in the Wyoming Vdley. ESTABLISHED IK50, VOL. A T.I II. S0.5S. PITTSTON, LUZERNE CO., PA., FRIDAY. OCTOBER 20, 18113. A Weekly local and Family Journal. s5?f* that his business was rapidly going down-liill, that he had been raising money in various ways, speculating, and had fallen into the hands of sharpers, and yet Armand would not admit it, would not consent to accept help or to use his younger brother's property in any way. "The lawyer," said Philippe, '"informed me that Beau Kivage was heavily mortgaged, and it is feared that there will be nothing left for madame and Isin Nin, though, for that matter, they shall never want." What he had also urged, and he spoke with reluctance here, and owned it only because the detectives told him it was now well known, was that Armand had of late been playing heard the awful news of the murder, knowing that imestigation would follow and she and her sins be brought to light, she fled, for she had enough of his money in her possession, and poor demented Dawson, finding her gone, followed. ever since tne tragic aeatn ot Armanrt Lascelles in the spring of 1808. In polite annals the aft'air was remarkable because of the extraordinary chain of circumstantial eVidencewhich for a time seD.med to fasten the murder upon an ofiiccr of the army then stationed at Jackson barracks, but whose innocence was triumphantly established. Mine. Lascelles, it is understood, is now educating her daughter in Paris, whither she removed immediately after her marriage, a few months ago, to ( apt. Philippe Lascelles, formerly of the confederate army, a younger brother of her first husband." WIRING'S PERIL May i ask what you purpose doing ivith my ring?" THAT B'AR, You have no confidence in me; I have none iu you. My trousers!" ON THE PLEASANCE. The pocket book when I first got it contained $180, but no directions as to wh$t disposition I should make of it. Should the owner turn up, I shall require 80 days' notice before he will be permitted to draw the full amount. "I was just thinking. I've ordered a ew Amldonfor Larkin, a new ninetyollar suit for Ferry, and I shall be deidedlv poor this month, even if we reover Merton's watch." After ThcUHii!; tliai the Man I.earned a In vain the banker protested against such haste. The crowd that had gathered about the disputants said the member of the institute was right, and the banker, after sending for another pair of nether garments, surrendered the ink stained ones, amid the laughter of the bystanders.—Tit-Bits. Little Something. He was a sturdy young man, with his trousers in his liootlegs and his right arm in a sling, and while waiting at the ferry dock a policeman asked him if he had had his arm broken. "No, only chawed," lie replied. "Were you bitten by a horse?" "No—a b'ar." SILL NYE SAYS HE IS GETTING TO BE QUITE WELL KNOWN THERE. Bu CaDt. Gharles R. Kino. Author of "Ihmrmrpa Ranrh,'* "An Armj PorUm," "Oh, well, if it's only to pawn one. why not take a diamond?" Philippes' story corroborated this in every particular. The last he saw of the cab or of the cabman was near the house of the hook and ladder companj east of the French market. The drive* there said his horse was dead beat and could do no more, so Philippes went into the market, succeeded in getting another cab by paying a big price, slept at Cassidy's, waited all the morning about Lascelles' place, and finally, having to return to the northeast at once, he took the evening train on the Jackson road and never heard of the murder until ten daj-s after, lie was amazed at his arrest. I got a poor man to haul my trunk for me when I landed here. It is a good looking trunk and might adorn the home »f wealth. It is the trunk yo* had when you were expelled from Princeton. The poor mail stole the trunk, bnt brought it back again. "A Soldier's Secret," tit. k Pickpocket Meets Him In the Crowd and (C«pjTt*ht. ISO®, by J. B. Llpplncott ft Co.. «nd pah- But it isn't." MUtakes Him For a Brother In Crime. Ushed by ipecmi arrang«iueni.j "Well, again I was just thinking— whether I could find another to match this up in town, or send this one—to What then, pray?" Nye's Tam O'Shanter and the Offer It (CONTINUED.) "By a bear! Have you been off hunt- "Going; Out With the Tied." Led Tu. "Odd," said Mr. Pepper, as they had grown to call him, "I heard that sung by a fellow up in Chartrcs street two nights hand-running before this thing happened— a merry cuss, too, with a ing'r" [Copyright, 1883, by Edgar W. NyeJ "No. I didn't have to hunt fur that b'ar. He come along the road to where I sot on the fence." My Dear Son—I thought I would write one more letter from here before we leave, which is tomorrow morning. This past week I have been less on the Pleasance and more on my good behavior, and this makes your mother almost happy. Chicago, Oct 3. I judge that your mother's conate did not fit him. "Mr. Waring! Really?" And now Mrs. Cram's bright eyes are dancing with eagerness and delight. ".Well," said Cram, "I'll have to send that to VVaring. They're in Vienna by this time, I suppose. Look here, Nell, how was it that when we fellows were fretting about Waring's attentions to madame, you should have been so serenely superior to it all, even when, as 1 know, the stories reached.you?" I lost my hat yesterday from a gondola, and it drifted oat to sea. I ata new wearing your Tam O'Shanter and hate been offered $2 per day to arouse curiosity and draw people to the Pleasaaoe aotf rather loose hand on his shekels. LotD of people may know it, though, mayn't thev?" the role- of galant liomme, and that the woman in the case had fled. Of all this he felt, he said, bound to speak fully, because in coming here with his witnesses to meet Lieut. Waring and his friends he had two objects in view. The first was to admit that he had accepted as fact the published reports that Lieut. Waring was probably his brother's slayer; had hastened back to New Orleans to demand justice or obtain r.-venge; had here learned ffom the lawyers and police that there were other and much more probable theories, having heard only one of which he had cried: "Enough," and had come to pray the forgiveness of Mr. Waring for having believed an officer and a gentleman guilty of so foul a crime. Second, he had come to invoke his aid in running down the murderer. Philippe was affected almost to tears. For all answer, though his own eyes begin to moisten and swim, he draws from an inner pocket a dainty letter, postmarked from a far, far city to the northeast. "No. In my blamed foolishness 1 tackled him. He was one of these performin b'ars, you know, and three of ub 6mart Alecks sot on the fence. We was feelin mighty smart about the time the man come up with his b'ar, and we thought it would be an awfully cute thing for one of us to roll that animal in the dust and learn him a new trick. Bein as I was the smartest of the smarl Alecks I jumped down and picked hiir "And in his rage he tackled you?" "No, Indeed, not down here Sam. "It only came out in New within the last four months,and hasn't been south or west at all, that I know of. What did he look like?" said York And then came before his examiners a mere physical wreck - the shadow of his former self—caught at the high tide of a career of crime and debauchery, a much less bulky party than the truculent Jehu of Mluu l.us I was much pleased with your letter of last week from New York, in which you touched up the theaters for going absolutely to the dogs, with nothing but varieties and artistes, as you call them, that kick so high, and I thought what you said, where you allude to this great Shakespearean revival of medicated flannels, was pretty good and showed that your disgust was doing its perfect work. I saw Carter Harrison day before yesterday. He is the mayor of Chicago. He is a fine looking nyin with an eagle's eye. He talks freely regarding personal affairs and wears a broad soft hat, but does not put oil on his hair, as many suppose. He is undoubtedly the Governor Tillman of the west. He was a great favorite with the infanta when she was in Chicago and is undoubtedly the coming duke of the West Side. "You dear fellow! How can 1 tell you how glad I ami I haven't dared to ask you of her since we met at Washington, but—oh, my heart has been just full of her since—since this trouble came." "Ah. Ned. I knew a story worth two of those. He was in love with Natalie Maitland the time." "Well, what did the fellow tliat was with you look like?'' [hie exd.] —Life. Hut her.- Saiu's description grew vague. So Pepper "'eutip to havo :: celles' cab, yet no less important a witness than the same driver. IK SPOILING A PLAY. bet-r by hi-AsoIf at the cafe chantunt "God bless the trouble! it was that that won her to me at last. I have loved her ever since X first saw her— long years ago." up." j Not \aug since a ball was given as a lunatic hospital. Maay friends of the inmates were present, and also friends of the governor. Among them was a C*-ell known young journalist. He had the most difficult time imaginable to pick out the sane from the insane. FD nftlly he saw a young woman close to him. He brushed by her by •and begged to be excused. She readily forgave him, and then asked if he wer« not the king of the Cannibal islands. A fat* at TOem. on t hartrcs str Lind didn't return accoin;Danied by & priest lie had been brought hither in an ambulance from the Ubtel Dieu, where he hail been traced several days before and found almost at death's door. His confession was most important of all He had struck Lieut. Waring as that officer turned away from Lascelles' gate, intending only to down and then kick and hammer him, but lie had struck with a lead-loaded rubber club, and he was horrified to see him drop like one dead Then he lost his nerve and drove furiously back for Bridget. Together they returned and found Waring lying there as he had left him on the dripping banquette. "You've killed hini. Mike There's only one thing to do." she said; "take his watch and everything valuable he has, and we'll throw him over on the levee." She herself took the knife from his overcoat pocket, lest he should recover suddenly, and then, said the driver, "even as we were bending over him there came a sudden Hash of lightning. and there was Lascelles bending over us, demandiug to know what it A Cane of Nor left That Had a Molt Dl»- "You ineau you lifted him up?" for neariv a week. A numfrer of London cockneys had formed themselves into an amateur theatrical association. Mistaking energy ol purpose for histrionic ability—a fault not unknown to amateurs—they deter mined to undertake Shakespeare's trag edy of "King Richard III." The initial performance was to be given on the uight of boxing day, the 26th of Decern ber. at one of the little suburbs of might} pat rous r inalo. "No, sir. I picked him up for a spring lamb. The feller who owned him hollered to me to keep off. but I sailed right in and got hold. I was calculatin to Astonish that b'ar, but he didn't seem to bt a bit surprised. He stood up and fastened his teeth into that shoulder, and how many times do you think he shook me around and pounded me up and down in the dust?"' Meantime came this exquisite April '•Oh! oh! oh! if Ned were only here! I'm mid to tell him. I may, mayn't I?" morning ami Yarn's appearanc pony phaeton in front of Battery in thi Even the horses seemed to prick up ■their cars and he glad to see him. "Yes, the moment he comes." But Ned brought a crowd with him when ho got back from town a little later. Reynolds was there, and Philippe Lascellcs, and Mr. Popper, and they had a tale to tell that must needs be condensed. •■Grim old - up to touch their cups and express the hope that they'd soon have the lieutenant war sergeants rod n command of thi Dn a "There.is one question I must beg to ask monsieur," said Waring, as the two clasped hands. "Is there not still a member of your family who entertains the idea that it was I who killed Arinand Laseelles?" not but what Lot t Ferrv's doir "Ten times'/" timidly queried the officer.The journalist readily replied that h« was, and asked if the young lady were not the queen. Then followed the funniest conversation. He began telling her of his dominions and of the presents he would purchase for her. Ha would give a golden throne studded with diamonds, all her dresses should come from Worth's and she should hart the best French chefs for cooks. Then he described his new palace. The description was ornato in the extreme. This couple talked in this way for at least an hour. Then they separated the young lady being claimed for ■ waltz. firf,t-ra ! for a few u: They had all been present by invitation of the civil authorities at a very dramatic affair during the late afternoon—the final lifting of the veil that hid from public view the "strange, eventful history" of the Lascelles tragedy. Cram was the spokesman by common consent. "With the exception of the Dawsons," said he, "none of the parties implicated knew up to the hour of his or her examination that any one of the others was to appear." Mrs. Dawson, eager to save her own prettj' neck, had told her story without reservation. Dawson knew nothing. On the eventful eight of the perform ance the actors, stimulated by the applause of the audience, winch was of course ooin posed chieny of relatives and near friends, had lost much of the uneasiness attendant npon a first appearance. Already had they begun to givt their individual genius a fuller rein Much "business" which had not been tried at rehearsals was naw attempted with impunity. All went well until the fourth scene of act 4, when Catesby rushes in to announce to the king the capture of Buckingham. Of course oni actors used the interpolated version that puts into Richard's mouth the well known exclamation: "Off with his head So much for Buckingham!" Loudon. I was of you the other day while mother a&d I were watching the big Ferris wheel go round. utes, as his fair t arioteer drove hiir "Just 7,000 times, and I'll swear to it. for I counted 'em! They used up three long fence rails pounding his head, but he didn't let go until one of the boys got a pitchfork and tickled him." TH* PICKPOCKET'S MISTAKK. tne streets ox Kyro. 1 may ao it, alternating with a highland costume of yoan which you wore when you «u a table or table dote, or whatever it was. ground th guid voice Wa -ir rv. in Ins wea in a little And Philippe was deeply embar- of his own cha rassed. "Branscombe," spoke up a voice not far away that sounded like the thrill of a throttle, or something of that kind, "you cannot—oh, you cannot, be so wild as to say those words to me here in this great gathering of people—those words which to a young girl mean so much. Certainly you cannot be in earnest thus to sue for me hand here, where the throng is thronging?" "I expect you to bnue up to top notch. Mr. Ferry, a.. I a constitutionally opposed to any worit on tny own account. I beg to call your attention, sir. to the fact that it's verybad form to appear with full dres;- schabraque on your horse when the battery is in fatD-ue The red blanket, sir. the red bla .et only fliould be used Be good enough to stretch your traces there, right caisson. Yes, I thought so, swing trace is twisted. Carelessness, Mr. Ferry, and indifference to duty are things I won't tolerate. Your cheek strap, too. sir. is an inch too long- Your bit will fa'l through that horse's mouth. ThiD won't do, sir, not in my section, sir. I'll fine you a box of Partagas if it occurs again." sectior "Ah, monsieur," he answered, "I could not venture to intrude my6elf upon a grief so sacred. I have not seen mauw'ne, and who is there who could—who woul'l—tell her of Armand's—" And Philippe broke off abruptly, with despairing shrug-, and outward wave of his slender hand. "Then you—you"— stammered the officer.I will try it some day on the Plsasanoe as soon as my mosquito bites get better. I am quite well known on the Plsnasmrn now on my own merits, though I got  start here by being introduced as your father. "Then I made a blamed fool of myself, and that's all there is to it," said the young man. "There's no great moral lesson to stand out like a bump on a log, and I have no advice to offer other smart Alecks. I simply tackled a b'ar. The b'ar was alive. I lived through it, and raebbe I know more n I did, and inebbe 1 don't. Good day!"—Detroit Free Press. The general public now call me "T)m Daily Hint From Paris." Poor and humble as I am, Henry, lags doing you a world of good here. Ydfer loving father, "Let us try to see that she never does know," said Waring. "These are the men we need to find: the driver of the cab, the stranger whose name sounded so like yours, a tall, swarthy, black-haired, black-eyed fellow with pointed mustache—" "Aye, do I here, sweet one—here, where the great panting procession from the deserted universe has come to greet the wonders of earth and sea and skeyi! I offer to you me hond in marriage. Think how long we have known each other, Magnolia—ever since we met at the sausage exhibit! Next Friday will be a week ago. Since then I have saw nothing else. I pay every day to see the Administration building and the art exhibit, but I do not see them. I see no one but you, Magnolia; no one but you. I have not even looked at the big wheel since next Friday was a week ago. I love you, Magnolia, and that is what is eating of me." The story had been from her piecemeal, but was finally told iu full, and in the presence of the officers and civilians indicated. She had married in April, '65, to the scorn of her people, a young Yankee officer attached to the commissary department. She had starved all through the war. She longed for life, luxury, comforts. She had nothing but her beauty, he nothing but his pay. The extravagances of a month swamped him; the drink and desperation for the next ruined him. He maintained her in luxury at the best hotel only a few weeks, then all of his own and much of Uncle Sam's money was gone. Inspection proved him a thief and embezzler. He fled, and she was abandoned to her own resources. 8he had none but her beauty and a gift of penmanship which covered the many sins of her orthography. She was given a clerkship, but wanted more money, and took it, blackmailing a quartermaster. She Imposed on Waring, but he quickly found her out and absolutely refused afterwards to see her at alL She was piqued and angered, "a woman soorned, but not until he joined Battery "X" did opportunity present itself for revenge. She had secured a room under Mrs. Doyle's reputable roof, to be near the barracks, where she could support herself by writing for Mrs. Doyle and blackmailing those whom she lured, and where she could watch him, and, to her eager delight, she noted and prepared to make much of his attentions to Mme. Lascelles. Incidentally, too, she might inveigle the susceptible Lascelles himself, on the principle that there's no fool like an old fooL Mrs. Doyle lent herself eagerly to the scheme. The letters began to pass to and fro again. Lascelles was fool enough to answer, and when, all on a sudden, Mrs. Doyle's "long-missing relative," as she called him, turned up, a pensioner on her charity, it was through the united efforts of the two women he got a situation as cab-driver at the stable up at the eastern skirt of the town. Dawson had enlisted to keep from starving, and, though she had no use for him as a husband, he would do to fetch and carry, and he dare not disobey. Twice when Doyle was battery officer of the day did this strangely - assorted pair of women entertain Lascelles at supper and fleeoe him' out of what money he had. Then came Philippes with Lascellea in Mike's cab, as luck would have it, but they could not fleece Philippes. Old Lascelles was rapidly suocumbing to Nita's fascinations when came the night of the terrible storm. Mike had got to drinking, and was laid low by the lieutenant. Mike and Bridget both vowed vengeance. But meantime Doyle himself had got wind of something that was going on, and he and his tyrant had A fearful row. ne commanded her never to allow a man inside the premises when he was away, and, though brought home drunk that awful night, furiously ordered the Frenchman out, and might have assaulted them had not Bridget lassoed him with a chloroformed towel. That was the last he knew until another day. Lascelles, Philippes and she, Mrs. Dawson, had already drunk a bottle of champagne when interrupted by Doyle's coming. Lascelles was  had snatched his pistol and fired a shot to frighten Doyle, but had only enraged him. and then he had to run for his cab. He was bundled in and Doyle disposed of. It was only three blocks down to Beau Rivage, and thither Mike drove them in all the storm. She did not know at the time of Waring's being in the cab. In less than fifteen minutes Mike was back and called excitedly for Bridget; had a hurried consultation with her; she seized a waterproof and ran out with him, but darted Itftck and took the bottle of chloroform r.he had used on her husband, now lying limp and senseless on a sofa below, and then she disappeared. When half an hour passed ami Lascelles failed to return with thera, bringing certain papers of which he'd been speaking to the latter declared there must EB something wrong, and went out to despite the storm. He could see nothing. It was after midnight when Mrs. Doyle came rushing in, gasping, all out of breath, "along of the storm," she said. She had been down the levee with Mike to find a cushion and lap-robe he dropped and coqJUn't afford to lose. They never could liave found it at all "but for ould Lascelles lending them a lantern." lie wanted Mike to bring down two bottles of champagne he'd left here, but it was storming so that he would not venture again, and Lieut. Waring, she said, was going to spend the night with Lascelles at Beau Rivage; Mike couldn't drive any further down towards the barracks. Lascelles sent word to Philippes that he'd bring up the papers first thing in the morning, if the storm lulled, and Philippes went out indignant at all the time lost, but Mike swore he'd not drive down again for a fortune. So the Frenchman got into the cab and went up with him to town. The moment he was gone Mrs. Doyle declared •she was dead tired, used up, and drank huge goblets of the wine, until she reeled off to her room, leaving an apron behind. Then Mrs. Dawson went to her own room, after putting out the lights, and when., two davs later, she "Sad case that," quoth the journalist to one of the board, as the young ladj •yent waltzing with her escort. i. " -—-4 ii * ~ ■ But tin-re was even a greater liberty taken with the text than our ambition* friends intended. As soon as Citesbv Identified. "Sad? What is sad about her?" "C'est lui! c'est bien lui!" exclaimed Lascelles—"the very man who insisted on entering the private office where, Armand and I, we close our affairs that morning. Ilis whispered words make my brother all of pale, and yet he go off humming to himself." A red flag fluttering opposite the door of an old farmhouse draws a crowd. Even the victims of former auction sales cannot stay away, though they know from experience that he who enters leaves his wits behind. A public sale at a prerevolutionary house into which had drifted a Mayflower cliest and a bed open which Washington had slept attracted the attention of Dr. Abbott, who tells in "Receiit Rambles" how lie ventured inside and what was the result of his temerity. "Oh, haven't you met her? Well, she thinks she is the queen of the Cannibal islands and that I am her king." had delivered himself of his lines, "Mj '•iegc, the [takeof Buckingham is taken," etc., he pau~. 1 to allow the king to make the usual exclamation. At each of the re hearsals the actor impersonating Richar J had hardly given the messenger time tc pronounce his lines before 6hrioking ont his malediction, which he considered ofte of the situations of the tragedy. But during tho performance he had decided that it would be much more natural and impressive to stride np and down the stage a number of times, gnashing his teeth before delivering the lines in his most guttural tones, which were to pas* for deep and concentrated hatred. "Some one has been guying you." said tile heartless governor. "She is no mow crazy than you are." P. S.—I have found a place where one can get a large schooner of beer, with £ small doormat for it to stand on and the use of a large fan to blow the foam off with, and all for 5 cents. That doesn't look much like extortion at the Colombian exhibit, does it? But the blare of the bugle sounding1 •'attention" announced the presence of the battery commander. Nell whipped up in an instant and whisked her invalid oat of thtj This was the sad case. A friend 01 the young liidy had informed her that the young journalist was as crazy as a 5oon. They said, however, that he wa» harmless, and all that should be don« wis to humor him into the belief that h« was the king of the Cannibal islands. The king and queen were not on speak la£ terms for the rest of the evening.— London Tit-Bits. "Oh, we'll nail him," said Cram. '"Two of the best detectives in the south are on his trail now." iv 2 v "Good morning, Capt. Cram," said he, as he passed his smiling chief. "1 regret to observe, sir. that things have been allowed to run down somewhat in And then came Ananias with a silver tray, champagne and glasses (from Mrs. Cram), and the conference went on another hour before the guests Friendly letters will reach me if addressed General Delivery on grounds, and he will see that I get it. Requests for money should be ten to an address which I will furnish yon after awhile. B. «. "Ah, it is so snddin, Branscombe," she said; "so unexpected; so contretemps! And I am so young! But I accept you, dear. I accept your honest love. I take it to me heart, love, and we shall be happy together, Branscombe, so happy, as we glide hand in hand along down the sunlit vista of our sweet united lives. Yt*D, Branscombe, you can pack your clothes in my trunk." PHE DROVE THE KJCIFE INTO HIS HEART, rncwib xacu tine aiiuuiei iul-.ii lie seemed to realize what was up, sprang back and drew pistoL lie had caught us in the act. There was nothing else to do; we both sprang upon him. He fired and hit me, but only in the arm, and before he could pull trigger again we both grappled him. 1 seized his gun, Bridget his throat, but he screamed and fought like a tiger, then wilted all of a sudden. I was scared and helpless, but she had her wits about her and told me what to do. The lieutenant began to gasp and revive just then, so she soaked the handkerchief in chloroform and placed it over his mouth, and together we lifted him into the cab. Then we raised Lascelles and carried him in and laid him on his sofa, for he had left tho door open and the lamps on the table. Bridget had been there before and knew all about the house. We set the pistol back in his hand but couldn't make the fingers grasp it. We ransacked the desk and got what money there was, locked and bolted the doors and climbed out of the side window, under which she dropped the knife among the bushes. 'They'll never suspect us in the world, Mike,' she said. It's the lieutenant's knife that did it, and, as he was going to fight him anyhow, he'll get the credit of it all.' Then we drove up the levee, put Waring in Ana' de's boat, sculls and all, and shoved him off. 'I'll muzzle Jim,' she said. 'I'll niukc him believe that 'twas he that (lid it when he was drunk.' She took most of the money and the watch and ring. She said she could hide them until they'd Oe needed. Then I drove Fhilippes up to torwn until I began to get so sick and faint I could do no more. I turned ilie cab loose and got away to a house where I knew they'd take care of me, and from there, when my money was gone, they sent me to the hospital, thinking Dwas dying. I swear to God I never meant to more than get square with the lieutenant 1 never struck Lascelles at all; 'twas she who drove the knife into his heart." mv absenec While willow pattern china was bein& sold he discovered a curious piece of polished, crooked mahogany lying between soup tureens and gravyboats. On picking it up and scanning it closely his first thought was, What a curious paper knife 1 "Oh. out with you. you combination of cheek and incapacity, or I'll run you down with the whole battery. Oh! Waring, some gentlemen in a carriage have just stopped at your quarters, all in black, too. Ah, here's the orderly now." went off. "Bless my soul!" said Brax, whose liameter seemed in no wise increased Generous. Wool ttmm Clm by the quart *of Roederer he had swallowed with such gusto—"bless my soul! and to think I believed that we were going to have a duel with some of those fellows a fortnight or so A popular young fellow who is widelj known in athletic circles tells this story "I was in the office of a friend of mint on Walnut street, above Fourth, th« other morning, when a rather seed; looking young chap came in, and nodding to him in a jaunty way said, 'Billy, old man, 1 want to borrow a dollar. 'H-m-m-m,' replied Billy slowly. 'Wen, if I remember rightly, I loaned yon • dollar last week.' 'So you did,' said th« visitor, 'but I'm dead strapped and must have a dollar now.' Billy pondered a moment and replied: 'Well, you're no good—I'm convinced of that—and so I'll not lend you a dollar, but I'll give yon one. How'll that do?" 'First rate,' responded the shameless striker, and then after a moment or so, as the cash wai not forthcoming, he added, 'Well, where's the dollar you are going to gjvt me?" 'Oh,' replied Billy smilingly, TU give you the dollar you borrowed laal week.* "—Philadelphia Record. The scientific journals of recant data, aa» pecially those which allot departments to the discussion of the glaasworkers' art, have been filled with marvelous accounts of a wonderful glass composition lately to* rented iu Vianaa. This new art —rfrti the spinning of "glass wool" possible and many fin* webe of the "crucial doth" have already left the looms. The frissled glaaa threads iiato which the cloth is woven are ■aid to surpass in fineness not only the finest eottoa, hat evex» the threads at the silkworm's cocoon, their soilness siid elasticity being even greater than that oj manufactured siljt "ltot." guanas have already begun to uaa thia "wool" to ptafa of cotton, 00mmem wool aad aUk lint, and tits chemists aad apothsearias say that a finely woven we"b of elath saakaa tha most perfect filter that one eoald tmngtoa The finest and amoothast of these glaw threads are being woven lata fabrics, which ia turn are made into cushions, tablecloths, neckties, shawls, euSfc, collars and a variety of other patterns. Ia aeftqess to ths toueji this glass yam almost approaches silk films, being sauok like that of finest wool or cotton. It pmD sessss remarkable strength and sot oaly remains unchanged in weight aad warmth, bat is not attend from contact with say known acid. Being noninflammabla aad tngoipbustible, as well as having graat brilliancy and beauty of colors, it is especially suitable for dress goods, sueh fabrics being much warmer titan those made from Wtton or sheep's wool. Ths Australian Woman. Though pretty, tall and well formed, the Australian is not graceful. Her feet are seldom small, her hands rarely beautiful. Moreover, she does not dress well. Ha toilet has none of the chic of the Pan? sienne's, little of the sobriety of the English woman's. Overdressed or dowdy, she pro duces the impression of not only having little taste, but no artistic sense of the fitness of things. Stylish and elegant women are to be seen more frequently in Melbourne than elsewhere. Nevertheless dress is lear to the soul of an Australian, and much is spent on it. Down in the lowest social grades it plays an important part. Unfortunately for the result, he had neglected to confide his change of idea to his fellow actor. Catoeby waited what doubtless seemed to him an age. But the only effect the news of Buckingham's capture ?eeyned to have npon Richard was to make him take even longer strides an before and make an extremely unpleasant noise "gritting" his teeth. After venturing several interrogatory coughs, which did not alter either the pace of the monarch or provoke any reply whatever, the unfortunate Catesby decided t.o save the day, which seemed to him Oi. the verge of being lost, by t bold step. "What is it?" asked an inquisitive old lady as he tucked it behind a pile of plates. • « • • I got over the fence and went out where I could get more air. I pressed on to a place where a man from Qumcy, Ills., had unharnessed his team and fed the horses corn in the ear. -1 got up in the wagon and played with the buggy whip quite awhile and thought of my past, such as it is, and of yon, Henry, far away, trying to scrape together money enough to get married on by writing visiting cards in the corridor of a large hotel. A oollege education is a big thing, Henry. It enables one to get a full arm movement on him so that he can earn as much as a dollar a day writing visiting cards for wealthy people who cannot spell. » And the card, black bordered, hand- ago!" eil into the pliaeton. bore a name wliicl blacched W aring's face: Then entered "Pills" and "ordered Waring back to bed. He was sleeping placidly when, late that evening, Reynolds and Cram came tearing up the stairway, full of great news; but the doctor said not to wake him. The wooden wonder was brought to light again. "It's an old fashioned wooden butter knife," said she. "I've seen 'em afore this. Don't you know, in old times, it wasn't everybody as had silver, and mahogany knives for butter was putou the table for big folks. We folks each used our own knife." JJl. IJhilpjie gastcllcfD. Meantime, how fared it with that bruised reed, the lone widow of the late Lieut. Doyle? Poor old Jim had been laid away with military honors under the flag at Chalmette, and his faithful Bridget was spending the days in the public calaboose. Drunk and disorderly was the charge on which she had been arraigned, and, though she declared herself abundantr ly able to pay her fine twice over, Mr. Pepper had warned the authorities to keep her under lock and key and out of liqnor, as her testimony would be of vital importance, if for nothing better than to send her up for perjury. Now s!Do was alternately wheedling, cursing. coaxing, bribing; all to no pur;D ibe. The agent of the Lemaitre prop- "A colonial butter knife," replied the doctor with an air of antiquarian lore. "What is it?" asked a still older lady. Orleans. Disregarding the monarch's frown, he began again in a clear voice, "My liege, the duke of Buckingham is taken," and concluded boldly, "an we've took off 'is ead!" The effect was electric. There was no art, but nature, in the burst of anger with which the enraged Richard, tearing off his crown and armor and hurling them at his unfortunate but weU meaning support, screamed out: "Tot ave, 'ave you! Well, you've been as spoilt the whole bloomin play." The tragedy came to u untimely end.—linr *irS' Vaifa7^-» "A butter knife! No such thing," answered tbis lady. ' My grandfather had one just like this, and it's a pruning knife. He wouldn't use a steel knife 'cause it poisoned the sap." "Why, what is it, Waring?" asked Cram, anxiously, bending down from his saddle. For a moment Waring was silent. Mrs, Cram felt her own hand trem The auctioneer at last took it in his hand, looked at it with a puzzled expression and cried: I wouldn't wonder if it galded yon sometimes to use your fine education and massive matriculated mind on writing cards that way for a thickset lady of, wealth who has shed four (4) husbands. bling- "Can you turn tho battery over to Ferry and come with me?" asked the "What is bid for this?" Mr. Bingo—You want to be careful about packing away your winter clothes, my dear. The moths are likely to get into them. Sealskin Preferred. "Certainly. Ilugler, report to Lieut. Ferry and tell him I shall have to be absent for awhile.. Drive on, Nell." lieutenant. It started at a dime, and the doctor secured it for 25 cents. He took it home, rubbed the gummy surface with kerosene, polished it with flannel, rubbed it with warm water and a toothbrush and then gave it a long, dry polishing. Then he showed his beautiful prize to his family with a triumphant "See there!" As the weather gets a little cooler, if you should feel that you need that cape overcoat that you gave me last winter, I will ,go back to the one that I had all When, five minutes later, Waring was assisted up the stairway. Cram towering on his right, the little party earne upon a group of strangers—three gentlemen, one of whom stepped courteously forward, raising his hat In a blaclc-gloved hand, lie was of medium height, slender, erect and soldierly in bearing; his fack was dark and oval, his eyes deep and full of light. He spoke mainly in English, but with marked accent, and the voice was soft rty had swooped down on the dove ot and found a betrcarlv arrav of :npty bottles and a good deal of dis- Mrs. Bingo—Ton needn't be alarmed about the moths. They are not going to bother with plush when they can get genuine sealskin at the woman's vW uvea nazt door.—Cloak Beview. nis lilt*. carded feminine gear scattered about on both floors. One room in which certain detectives were vastly interested contained the unsavory relics of a late supper. Three or four empty (Champagne bottles, some shattered glasses, and, what seemed most to attract them, various stubs of partially oonsumed cigarettes, lay about the tables and Uoor. Adjoining this was the c-iamber which had been known a* Mrs. Dawson's, and this, too, had been thoroughly explored. 'Louette, who had disappeared after Doyle's tragic death, was found not faraway, and the police thought it but fair that Mrs. Doyle should not be deprived of the services of her maid. Then caine other additions, though confined in other sections of the city Mr. Pepper wired that the nartv known as M. Plulinoes had been inn to earth and would reach town with him by train about the same time Ahat another of the force returned from Mobile by boat, bringing a young man known as Dawson and wanted as a deserter, and a very sprightly young lady who appeared to move in a higher sphere of life, but was unquestionably his wife, for the officer could prove their marriage in South Carolina in the spring of '(55. As Mr. Pepper expressed it when he reported to Reynolds: "It's almost a full hand, but, for a fact, it's only a bobtail flush. We need that cabioan to fill." "Why, papa," cried the youngest daughter, "it's the back of a hairbrush." And it was. j# * -Jb A friend who haa just returned f$Dm the World's fair wai greatly atnused by this placard posted on a sculntaMd lion in the art department: "Lathee *ffl please not sit on the lien's taiL It feat been broke off twice already."—Boston Transcript. Damage Enough Already. "There was a queer character oui in Virginia City during the palmy days in the early sixties," said W. H. Barstow. "He. was called Laughing Tom. He couldn't say a word without laughing, and he usually prefaced what he had to say with a series of chuckles that were the most infectious things imaginable. A Narrow Escapa. Ji c "I fear I have intrude. Have I the honor to address Lieut. Waring? I am Philippe Lascelles." and melodious. "I married my wife on the day I expected to attend her funeral." said Abram Poindej ter to the Idle Hour club that was holding a seance at the Southern. "That wai twenty-five years ago, in Richmond. W« were to have been married on Jan. 1, but on Christmas day the young lady was tafcen ill, and on the last day of the old yer.r she died, apparently. The funeral was to occur at an early hoar next morn- Idk, and she was placed in a coffin that evening. About midnight I went to the rwom where she lay and the watchers withdrew to the halL I sat down and bowed my head upon the coffin, overwhelmed by my loss. I had sat there perhaps ten min'jf.es when I heard a scratching inside the coffin, then a stifled sob. My nerves, already strained to their utmost tension, Reeu.ed to snap, and I stood up ajid screamed iikC t hysterical woman. The watcher* thought I had become insane, and tried to take me away. I was powerless to speak, and could only point to the coffin. An Unexpected Wedding. For a moment Waring was too amazed to speak. At last, with brightening face and holding forth his hand, he said: "There are hundreds of storiesof which Torn is tlio hero, but one there is in particular which I have never seen printed. One day Tom began playing poker with a miner. The stakes were small, but they were big to the players themselves, as they represented all their earthly possessions. It was nip and tuck for awhile, and a pretty good jackpot was being built up, when the miner saw Tom slip a card. He said nothing until the laughing prodigy ojiened the jacker, bet off the limit and was about to gather in the pot, when the miner quietly told him he had seen him cheat. Then, exhausted, he led into an adjoining room, and Mrs. Doyle was marched in, the picture of injured Irish innocence. For ten minutes, with wonderful effrontery and nerve, she denied all personal participation in the crime, and faced her inquisitors with brazen calm. Then the chief quietly turned and signaled. An officer led forward from one side the wreck of a cabman, supported by the priest; a door opened on the other, and, escorted by another policeman, Mrs. Dawson reentered, holding in her hands outstretched a gingham apron on which were two deep stains the shape and size of a long, straight-biaded, twoedged knife. It was tho apron tDhat Bridget Doyle had worn that fatal night. One quick, furtive look at that, one glance at her trembling, shaking, cowering kinsman, and, with an Irish howl of despair, a loud wail of "Mike, Mike, you've sworn your sister's life away!" she threw herself upon the tloor, tearing inadly at her hair. And so ended the mystery of Beau Itivage. The Australian hugs the idea of equality, and believing in uniformity of dress as the visible sign of equality often sacrifices actual comfort to obtain fashionable clothing. An Australian family makes a brave show on holidays. There may be bare feel and rags in the house, but there are cheap feathers and gloves in the street. Here the vanity of the race peeps out and hatred of apparent social for vanity is stronger in the Australian woman than ambition, just as indolence is more inherent than energy. She is clever, but not intellectual; accomplished oftener thaa highly educated. To lie ;vble to play the piano is regarded as a sort of cachet of distinction, not to play it is a lamentable sign of neglected education. Tact is uatural to her; also a quick sense of perception. With the ready ease that a troutlet changes its color into harmony with that of its surroundings, she adapts herself to circumstances, catches the cue of her entourage and contrives to produce a favorable impression. With ac. eerful disposition and mercurial temperament, the serious side of life scarcely appeals to her. Foreseeing not that to sow the wind is to reap the whirlwind, she exacts neither obedience nor due reverence from her children, and without being specially religious leaves the responsibility of their future very much to Providence.— North American Itevievr. "I am most glad to meet you—to know that it was not you who drove down with us that night." "Alas, no! I left Armand but that very morning, returning to Havana, thence going to Santiago. It was not until five days apo the news reached me. It is of that stranger I come to along. It is good enough if one doea not allow the wind to blow it open and exhibit the tracks left by the lining when it escaped. (JETTING OVER THE FENCE. ~ c-1 ' ask." It was an odd council (fathered there '*"* &xL.l -,C+ When I was at the mayor's office the other day, there was a strange case came up. A man sent up his card, and the mayor asked if I would mind if he admitted this man. I said, "No, certainly not." " 'All right,' said Tom, with his langh. 'it was unintentional, I assure you, but take the pot and tet's keep on playing.' "The miner was agreeable, and the play was continued until he caught Tom cheating again. It was the latter's deal, and he slipped two cards into his lap while shuffling the cards. The man cams in. He was pale and genteel. He looked a little hungry, hut his linen was in good shape. "They did not understand me, and persisted in taking me away. I broke from them and strove to tear off the coffin lid with my finders. They called for help, but tell the men in Richmond could not haT* held me back. I ripped that coffin lid ta splinters, dragged the young lady from it and rushed into the open air with her. Th« people were too much horrified to follow me instantly. They called in the police tc confine me, but when they found me the young lady had her arms around my neck, and were both laughing and crying like a coup'e of children. The minister came to preach the funeral sermon, but performed the marriage ceremony instead." —St. Louis Globe-Democrat. "I hojDe that m requesting an audience, Mr. Mayor, I am not giving you annoyance?"' "IIow did you trace Philippes?" asked Reynolds. "Him? Oh, he was too darned musical. It was—what do you call it?— Flure de Tay that did for him. Why, he's the fellow that raised all the money and most of the h—11 for this old man Lascelles. He'd been sharping him for years." "The miner was as mad as a hornet, not so much on account of Tom's cheating as because of the insult to his intelligence by the bungling style of Tom's work. Rising and drawing his pistol, the miner said: "Not at all; not at all," said the mayor. "Thanlj.you, sir; thank yon," said the man. "You can never know how much good you have done me. I have been trying to fight the farce comedies and flipflap and cartwheel ladies of the stage by means of a legitimate drama, and a slight frost in September has deepened into good sleighing. For two weeks I have had no audience. A policeman told me that I might obtain one with the mayor. X nave done so. it nas aone me good. Thank you, sir; thank vou." Ab he passed me on his way out two big tears took a 10 cent shine off my nice, new kip boots. What a sad world this is! There was silence a moment in Cram's pretty parlor when the captain had finished his story. Waring was the tirst to speak: WHY, WHAT IS IT. WAKING?" " 'D n yon, Tom, I'm going to blow the top o' your head off.' in Waring's room in the old barracks that April morning while Ferry was drilling' the battery to his heart's content and the infantry companies were •wearily going over the manual or bayonet exercise. Old Brux had been sent for, end came. M. Lascelles' friends, both, like himself, soldiersof the south, •were presented, and for their information Waring's story was again told, •with only most delicate allusion to certain incidents which mitrht be considered as reflecting on the character and dignity of the elder brother. And then Philippe told his. True, there had been certain transactions between Armand and himself. He had fully trusted his brother, a man of affairs, with the. management of the little inheritance which he, a soldier, had no idea how to handle, and Armand's Business had buffered greatly by the war. It was touching to see how •tifceirerv word the younger strove to coneaal the fact that the elder had misapplied the securities and had been practically faithless to his trust. Everything, he declared, had been finally settled as between them that very morning before his return to Ilayatia. Armandhad brought to him early all papers rernaing in his possession and had paid him what was justly due. He knew, however,-that Armand was now greatly embpHrassed in his affairs. Jhey had psrwd with fond embrac&- the most affectionate of brothers. Hut Philippe had been seeing and hearing enough to make him gravely apprehensive as to Armand's future, to know "Well, when can we bring1 this thing to a head?" asked the aide-de-camp. "Pocotiempo! by Saturday, I reckon." But it came sooner. "There is one point I wish theyY dear up." "Tom looked up into the gun's muzzle and laughed ont. 'You wouldn't kill a feller before the draw, would you?' "Confound it!" exclaimed Jackson. "What a stupid fellow that jeweler ill" A Misunderstanding. Waring was seated one lovely evening in a low reclining chair on Mrs. Cram's broad gallery, sipping contentedly at the fragrant tea she had handed him. The band was playing, and a number of children were chasing about in noisy glee. The men were at supper, the officers, as a rule, at mess. For several miiitftrs the semi-restored invalid had not spoken a word. In one of his customary day-dreams he had been calmly gazing at the shapely white hand of his hostess, "all queenly with its weight of rings." "What's that?" said Crarn. .J*- V v - "There was no tragedy that day." Washington News. "Upw so?" inquired his friend. •'•Why, I told him the other day that I wanted engraved in the engagement ring the letters 'From A to 2'—from Arthur to Zenobia, you know—and the Idiot went to work and put in the whsle alphabet!—Harper's Bazar. "Who's got Merton's wutoh?" —Life, The Streets of London. "Oh. by Jove! 1 quite forgot. It's all right. Waring. Anatole's place was "pulled' last night, and he had her valuables all done up in a box. To pay for his boat,' he said." Tlie Astute Ticket Mail. Citizen (hurriedly)—Ticket and a half for Podunk. Street names in London are not usually painted on the glass in the lampposts, although this is done in some parts of tht city. The common practice is to paint them conspicuously on the walls of build lngs at the street corners. The nam* U almost always followed bv one or two tetters, such as "E.," "W.," "\V. C.." "E. C.,* "N. \V.," etc. These indicate sections— east, west, west center, east center, northwest and the like—and are of especial convenience to the post office officials in assort inland distributing t lie mails. A very absentminded member of the French institute was reading the newspaper in the casino at Dieppe the other day. He was absorbed by his reading, and with his left hand he unconsciously pushed the files of newspapers on the table. Each moment he sent them farther from him. Beyond the papers was un inkstand, which at last the moving papers pushed over the side of the table. It fell on the trousers of a Paris banker, who was furious at tlu* accident. My Trousers! Quite a number of people here have had bad luck in making their everlasting fortunes out of the fair. Ticket Agent (snappishly)—Do you want the half ticket for that big girl by your side? A quarter of a century has passed away since the scarlet plumes of Light Battery "X" were last seen dancing along the lpvee below New Orleans. Beau Rivaee. old and moss-crown at • • Reassuring. "I've taken Bronson's house for tft winter. You've lived there; how is the furnace?" Citizen—The whole ticket is for her, but she insisted on paying fare for her favorite doll, so to humor her I want the half tickct also. One of them is Isaac Isaacs, the English pickpocket. He got up a sham fight for my benefit the other day, as, I presume, he had seeB every little while pot my hand to the inside breast pocket of my vest and then wear a look of intense relief. I crowded np to where the fight was at its height, and after the parties had been separated 1 suddenly felt of my inside vest pocket, but there was nothing there. My Sunday paper was gone, and 1 hadn't read over half of it. But let i' pass. cio -e of the war, fell into rapid decline after the tragedy of that AprU night. Heavily mortgaged, the property passed into other hands, but for years never found a tenant. Far and near the negroes spoke of the homestead as haunted, and none of their race could be induced to set foot within its gates. One night the sentry ut the guardhouse saw sudden light on the westward sky, and then a column of flame. Again the fire alarm resounded among the echoing walls of the barracks; but when the soldiers reached the scene, a seething ruin was all that was left of the old southern home. Somebody sent Cram a marked copy of a New Orleans paper, and in their cozy quarters at Fort Hamilton the captain read it aloud tohisdevoted Nell: "The old house has been vacant, an object of almost superstitious dread to the neighborhood," said the Times. Ticket Agent- Um-er-how old ia the doll?—Good News. "All right, I guess. I occupied th« house for the summer, and wo wero warn as could be."—Vogue. "Will you permit me to examine those rings a moment?'" he asked. Another curious thing in London street addresses is the fact that in addition to th« name and number of the street itself soma ojjrtfcname is attached, as that of aom* prominent thoroughfare or park or general designation of a certain region; as, for example, "Wellington street, Strand;" 01 "Montague street, Russell square;" o» "Burlington gardens, Bond staeet." Thii does not mean that Wellington street is a part of the Straud, or that Mont ague street is contiguous to Russell square, or that Burlington gardens are in Bond street. It merely signifies that one is near the othei In each care, the second being a name presumably well known to everybody in London."Why, certainly. No, you sit still, Mr. Waring," she replied, promptly rising, and, pulling them off her fingers, dropped them into his open palm. With the same dreamy expression on his clear-cut, pallid face, he turned them over nnd over, held them up to the ligtyt, Anally selected one exquisite and then, half rising, held forth the others. As she took them astill stood beside his chair as tllough patiently waiting, he glanced up. "Oh, bflfcpardon. You want this, I 6iippowe??*riind, handing her the dainty teacup, calmly skipped the ring into bis waiatfloat-pocket and languidly murmured: "Titanks." A Departure. The absentminded man offered his best excuses without appeasing the banker's wrath, who shrieked that his Dew trousers were ruined. A Novice. "I have an original idea for a song," remarked the musician. "What is it?" A British farmer on board a steamer, suffering a good deal from the rolling, said to a friend: "This capt'n don't understand his business. Why don't ho keep in the furrows?"—Argonaut. "To write one in which none of the verses begin with 'oh.'"—Washington Star. "But, sir, I will cheerfully pay foi them, Be good enough to give me your card, and I will send the money to youi hotel." When J first got here, I was in a big crowd resulting from a spontaneous fight and a cry of fire also. In the midst of it a fat pocketbook was handed tome by an unknown person, I thought for ?afe keeping. I could not really understand it for about a week, and then I saw a picture of Richard Preston, the Omaha Kid, and I could see that, with his hat and spectacles on, I had the honor of looking very much like him. One of his associates had probably made a fatal Give Him Time. Impartial. "I understand that Grabbins has left "To my hotel, sir! I don't know you. I must instantly have the 30 francs these He—I declare, Miss Angelina, yon treat me worse than your dog. the city." She—Oh, Mr. de Mogyns, how caa you say so? I'm sure I never make the slightest difference between you.—Tit- Bits. "Never mind," replied the man who sneers. "Ile'll probably be back after The member of the institute drew forth the 30 francs and handed them to the banker. Then he said: trousers cost." -Life. Sometimes there it more than one street of thtuyime name, so that the epecial de» (gnat iiDn\s absolutely necessary to prevent confusion,' and in general it determines th# relative location and so is a great coaveo fence.--Car. New York Tribune, Actress— I wonder what I shall do this season to keep myself before the public? Sister Actress—Why don't you try act- A Novel *iiggt)Mtion. "Now that you have been paid, I hope you have too much of the delicacy of a gentleman to remain in my trousers. You know they are mine, and I insist Ul»un their immediate delivery to me. Fitflti. "Well,Jklike Uiat." "Yes?" So do I, rather better than the others." 4 "I'm hardly ever free from dyspepna." "What a sufferer yonr wife must bet" —Brooklyn Life. Detroit TrilDuiic error.