Pittston Gazette

              - Is." T ESTA.HI.IsllElD I HBO. ' VOL. l.lll. NO. 4=! » CSdest Newspaper in the Wyoming Vi lley. PITTSTON, LUZERNE CO., PA., FRIDAY, JUNE 30, 1893. A Weekly Local and Family Journal. * 1 •;D" J'ER AWI M i IN ADVANCE inflicted upon tlio unoffending bruto. One morning in cold blood I slipped a nooso about its neck and hung it to the limb of a tree: hung it with the tenrs streaming from my eyes and with the bitterest remorse at my heart; hung it because I knew that it hail loved mo and because I felt it had given me no reason of offense; hung it because I knew that in so doing I was committing a sin—a deadly sin that would so jeopardize my immortal soul as to place it—if such a thing were possible—even beyond the reach o' the infinite inercy of tho most merciful and mout terrible God. felon's cell. 1 am almost ashamed to own heart beat calmly as that of one wlio slumbers in innocence. I walked the cellar from end to end. I folded my arms upon my bosom and roamed easily to and fro. The police were thoroughly satisfied and prepared to depart. Tho glee- at my lieart was too strong to be restrained. I burned to say if but one word by way of triumph and to render doubly sure their assurance of mj guiltlessness.THE VICTORIA DISASTER siiot.ner. 1 tus practice, maritime men say, has lieen continued with unwieldy ships having rams of the present day. On receipt of the terrible news here the ocean liners in port lowered their colors. THE BLACK CAT —that the terror and horror with which the animal inspired me had been heightened by one of the merest chimeras it would bo possible to conceive. My wife had called my attention more than oncf to tho character of the mark of white hair, of which 1 have spoken, and which constituted the sole visible difference between the strange beast and the one I had destj^yed. Une reader will remember that this mark, although large, had been originally very indefinite. But by slow degrees—degrees nearly imperceptible, and which for a long time my reason struggled to reject as fanciful—it had at iengtli assumed a rigorous distinctness of outline. It was now tho representation of an object that I shudder to name —and tor this, above all, I loathed and dreaded, and would have rid myself of the monster had I dared—it was now, I say, tho imago of a hideous, of a ghastly thing—of the gallows! Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and of crime, of agony and of death! With a quick start the deaf Mr. Moberl) turned as if to deliver a pivot blow ami looked in the direction from which thu sound came. No more was necessary. Mr Moberly, deafness and all, was ejected. NYE TELLS A STORY. "Oh. yes, probably, but- there might be some afterward that would want them, and I'd hate to say that there were no more if asked for others. Lady Tryon Fainted When She IT IS ABOUT A POET IN THE TIME Ey EDGAR ALLAH (POIL "I heard about that once," said Cunningham. "Somebody told me that if a man wus feigning deafness a coin dropped near him would throw him off his guard, and he would, without thinking, turn quickly. I thought I would try it on this fakir, and fou see that it will work like a charm."— Chicago Inter Ocean. " Well, would you want to publish on a royalty of 10 per cent, you of course to give us good bankable security that the original cost should be paid, and then afterward you get 10 per cent of all good cash sales, provided that the 10 per cent should be on wholesale prices, we to retain the copyright and right to renewal?-'Heard the News. Washington, June 34.—The news of the sinking of her majesty's ship Victoria caused a profound sensation at the navy department here. No marine disaster, accompanied by such heavy loss of life, has lieen known in this country for many years, the heaviest in kind probably being the loss of the United States ship Huron, off Nag's Head, about 15 years ago. The News In Washington. OF GUTENBERG. For tho most wild y»t most homely narrative which I am about to pen I neither expect nor solicit belief. Mad indeed would I be to expect it in a case where my very senses reject their own evidence. Yet mad am I not, and very How He Succeeded In Getting nis Little MOURNING THROUGHOUT ENGLAND Volume Published and the Visitor Who Came to Htm Too Late While He Was on "Gentlemen," I said at last as the party ascended tho steps, "I delight to have allayed your suspicions. I wish you all health and a little more courtesy. By the by, gentlemen, this—this is a very well constructed house." In the rabid desire to say something easily I scarcely knew what 1 uttered at all. "I may say an excellently well constructed house. These walls—are you going, gentlemen'/ These walls are solidly put together." And here, through the mere frenzy of bravado, I rapped heavily with a cane which I held in my hand upon that very jiortion of the brickwork behind which stood the corpse of my wife. Queen Victoria SenClfl Message* of Sympathy? His Deathbed, to the Families of the Lost Naval Men and [Copyright, 1803, by Edgar W. Nye.] eurely do I not dream, But tomorrow I Royal Festivities Are Postponed—Com- A Style That Women Cling To. "I would like very much," said the poet, who had evidently eaten a hasty breakfast of omelet that morning, "to see Mr. Gutenberg if he is in." He then reaned his wet umbrella up against the radiator and ran his trembling fingers around in the bottom of his trousers pocket for a stray flake of tobacco. die, and today 1 would unburden my soul. My immediate purpose is to place before the world plainly, succinctly and without comment a series of mere household events. In their consequences these events have terrified-4have tortured— ments on the Tragedy. "Have you observed," said a well known ladies' tailor, "how fashions cling to women or women cling to fashions? I don't mean the periodical revival of styles, but the adherence to one particular mode through two centuries. "Well, of course I want to print the book so as to have something to show afterward, and way bn in the hereafterward, too, that "I had those thoughts; that I was first to remind other men that they, too, had their thoughts fresh and true, but unexpressed, and that I, poor and sorrowful and aching with the sensitive soul that was divinely bestowed perhaps, but borne in my sorrowing breast almost unsheltered through life from the jeers of those who live to laugh and breathe and wink and sneeze and die—that I had wakened a dewy breasted lark in the heart of another and caused that little song of mine to go on and on for others to tune theirs from. But I don t know much about this per cent or copyright or renewal and all that." On the night of tho day on which this cruel deed was done I was aroused from sh-ep by the cry of "Fire!" The curtains of my bed were in flames. The whole houso was blazing. It was with great •lifficolty that my wife, a servant and myself made our escaiDe from the conflagration. Tho destruction was complete. My entire worldly wealth was swallowed up, and I resigned myself thenceforth to despair. London, June 24.—There are still many details lacking concerning the sinking ol the battleship Victoria by her consort the ram Camperdown, off Tripoli. I to,A a run down to Newport, last summer to get a mouthful of freshly harrestsd sea air and enjoy the society of tl_e millionaires. One day I was strolling about, feeling lonesome like, when I met tho prettiest girl I ever saw outside of a picture for a soap ad. She couldn't have beej more than seventeen, and she flirted with me dreadfully. I felt that I ought to get acquainted with that girl and give her a good fatherly talk on the sin of flirting, but she 1 ad an old dtiena with her that looked likt» Medusa enjoying an attack of cramp colic. I hesitated and w;is lost of course. I struck up an acquaintance with the girl, but she appeared scared half out of her wits and kept glancing back at old Medusa, who camped on our trail, muttering 'is though sbe intended turning me into a Newport tower. I asked the girl if there was any possibility of getting rid vt b~r, and she replied that it might be done by bribery. Ou this geutle hint I acted, and we enjoyed a pleasant teteatete undisturbed.A Guy In Newport. According to the latest advices the accident occurred as follows: The battleships Victoria and Camperdown were engaging in naval tactics off the Syrian coast. The weather was bright and the sun shining. The two ships were going through theii maneuvers within a distanceof three miles of each other, which gave each ship but a small space considering the reaction of th« tide. "See that lady just ahead of us? Observe her cloak and the broad double fold down the back from the shoulders close to the neck down to the edge of the cloak. That's a watteau plait, named after the great French painter When Louis XIV was having such a goud time at the expense oi his patient subjects, the grand dames of his court affected it. Today women love that fold just as devotedly. They put it on house wrappers, lxjudoir and tea gowns, ball dresses and st reet cloaks, and will continue to do so until the millennium. It was fashionable in revolutionary days and has always been ir. vogue. Why? Because it Is becoming to the feminine ligure, and consequently dear to our sweet enslavers littlb hearts. In trailing gowns it is most fetching, permitting the trail to hang and sweep with peculiar grace."—Washington Star. have destroyed me. Vet 1 will not af tempt to expound them. To me they have presented little but horror; to many they will seem less terrible than baroques. Hereafter perhaps sotno intellect may lie found which will reduce my phantasm to the commonplace— some intellect more calm, more logical and far less excitable than my own, which will perceive in the circumstances 1 detail with awe nothing more than an ordinary succession of very natural causes and effects. . wo t 1 am above tho weakness of seeking to establish a sequence of cause and effect between the disaster and the atrocity. But I am detailing a chain of facts and wish not to leave even a possible link imperfect. On the day succeeding tlio fire 1 visited the ruins. Tho walls, with one exception, had fallen in. This exception was found in a compartment wall, not very thick, which stood about the middle of the house, and against which had rested tho head of my bed. The plastering had here, in great measure, resisted tlio action of the fire—a fact which I attributed to its having been recently spread. About this wall a den°e crowd were collected, and many person# seemed to be examining a particular |M Drtiori of it with very minute and eager attention. The words "Strange!" "Singular!" and other similar expressions excited my curiosity. 1 approached and saw, as if graven in bas-relief upon the white surface, the figure of a gigantic cat The impression was given with an accuracy truly marvelous. There was a rope about the animal's neck. And now was I indeed wretched beyond the wretchedness of mere humanity. And a brute beast, whoso fellow 1 had contemptuously destroyed—a brute beast, to work out for me—for me, a man, fa; liioned in tho image of the high God —so much of insufferable wool Alas! Neither by day nor by night knew I tho blessing of rest any more! During the former the creature left mo no moment alone, and in tho latter I started hourly from dreams of unutterable fear to find the hot breath of the thing upon my face, and its vast weight—an incarnate nightmare that 1 had no power to shake off—incumbent eternally upon my heart! But may God shield and deliver me from the fangs of tho arch fiend! No sooner had the reverberation of my blows sunk into silence than I was answered by a voice from within tho tomb —by a cry, at first muffled and broken, like tho sobbing of a child, and then quickly swelling into one long, loud and continuous scream, iitterly anomalous and inhuman—a howl—a wailing shriek, half of horror and half of triumph, such as might have arisen only out of hell, conjointly from the throats of the damned in their agony and of the demons that exult in the damnation. Suddenly the Camperdown was carried toward the Victoria by the tide in a rapid way. Before the Victoria could steam ahead or the Camperdowisfc commandei obtain control of his vessel, she struck thf Victoria. The Camperdown's rani hit thf flagship near the foremast starboard tur ret. The big ship tore along the side of the other, cutting an immense hole in her that extended over several of the different watertight compartments. From my infancy I was noted for the docility and hnnianity of my disposition. My tenderness of heart was even so corif spicuous as to maLa mo the jest of my companions. I was especially fond of animals and was indu'ged by my parents with a great variety of pets. With these 1 sjK'nt most of mv time and never was so happy as when feeding and caressing them. This peculiarity of character grew with my growth, and in my manhood 1 derived from it one of my principal sources of pleasure. To those who have cherished an affection for a I'lithful and sagacious dog I need hardly be the trouble of explaining the nature or th^^ntensity of the gratification thus derivable. There is something in the unselfish and self sacrificing love of a brute which goes directly to the heart of him who has had frequent occasion to teat the paltry friendship and gossamer fidelity of mere man. "Wen," says Mr. Gutenberg, strolling in and working as he came, cntting the tail from a j to make an i of it, as publishers do sometimes, "my drawshare is about worn out. I need a new three cornered file and ought to have a new flat file, and we are plumb out of charcoal and lead. We'll have to make it that low, and if Schoeffer hadn't said it I would not agree to it. But if you put in the agreement that you are to have access to your own books only and we to ours I will agree to Schoeffer's terms." Every day I would meet the charming foung lady and subsidize old Medusa to go »nd see what the wild waves were saying. I was charmed, delighted. After a week or ten days of that sort of thing I chanced upon another giddy benedict walking by the seashore with my inamorata, while old Medusa lingered out of sight. That made me suspicious, and I watched the gill. ] found out that she was no millionaire's daughter, as I had supposed, but a dashing young adventuress, who apportioned her time among a dozen fool admirers, all of whom subsidized her partner in the play— the old duena. I figured up that I had paid out near $100 for the privilege of talking for half an hour a day to a girl who played the sweet society bud summers and kicked hats off in the burlesque operc, winters. Yes, I was a great guy. One'* uever too old to learn.—St. Louis Glolie- Demociat. Take a piece of bamboo or tea matting about 12 or 14 inches in length and 8 inches In wi 'th. The whole may lie lightly tinted with a very much diluted color in oil oi with any of the bronzes. Bind the matting with ribbon or with a strip [of thin leather pinked at the edges. Bend up the lower part and tie at the sides with ribbon. The pocket thus made will hold a number of papers. Suspend against the wall by three brass rings attached to the uppei edge at the corners and in the middle. A spray of flowers, a flight of birds or a bunch of autumn leaves may be painted on th» upper part and also on the lower part forming the bag. Small letter racks may also Iw made of the same material by cutting two pieces, one about 8 inches long and the other 4 inches, and placing the smaller one flat upon the other and binding the whole with green satin ribbon; on this paint a warjn of butterflies, a bunch of daisies ot •Ingle scattered blossoms. This matting can also be used for chair seats and backs. It looks well when decorated and &lw wears very well.—Exchange. Articles Made of Matting: As soon as the officers of the Victoria saw that there was danger of the ship foundering, orders were given to close the collision bulkheads, in order to keep the water into the compartment into which the Camperdown had shoved her ram. The sailors tried to obey the order, but the ship was making water too fast to allow of Of my own thoughts it is folly to speak. Swooning, I staggered to the opposite wall. For one instant the party upon the stairs remained motionless, through extremity of terror and of awe. In the next a dozen stout arms wore toiling at the wall. It fell bodily. The corpse, already greatly decayed aiid clotted with gore, stood erect before the eyes of the spectators. Upon its head, with reCl, extended month and solitary eye of fire, sat the hideous beast whose craft had seduced me into murder and whose informing voice had consigned me to the hangman. I had walled the monster up within the tombl Beneath the pressure of torments such as those the feeble remnant of the good within me succumbed. Evil thoughts became my sole intimates—the darkest and most evil of thoughts. The moodiness of my usual temper increased to hatred of all things and of all mankind, while from tho sudden, frequent and nngovernable outbursts of a fury tq which I now blindly abandoned myself my uncomplaining wife, alas, was the most patient of sufferers. THE POET MADE AN OBEISAXCE. "He is away," said the clay bank youth who was looking over the forms for what is called by the printer the typographical beetle or type louse, and which the reader may possibly be able to see if he will ask the foreman of this office. '' He has gone down cellar to see if he can't hurry up the decomposition of his cheese for Christmas. He may yet again of this place be upon 2 o'clocken." They pushed him around to this desk, and that notary, and this burgomaster, and that brewery till the trade was made, and the poet had all the risk to run, and his song was sung, and e'er he knew it the notes were in another's mouth. Gutenberg & Co. got some new presses and kept their books so close that nobody else ever saw them, but the poet's books kept selling. Wb"» I first beheld this apparition, for I c*Dnhj scarcely regard it as less, my wonder and toy terror were extreme. But at length reflection came to my aid. The cat, I remembered, hnd l»ecu hung in a garden adjacent to the house. JJpon the alarm of fire this garden had been immediately filled by the crowd, by some ono of whom the animal must have lieen cut from the tree and thrown, through an open window, into my chamber. This had probably lDeen done with a view of arousing mo from sleep. The falling of other walls had compressed tho victim of my cruelty into the substance of the freshly spread plaster, the lime of which, with the flames and the ammonia from the carcass, had ther accomplished the portraiture as I saw it. Ono day she accompanied me uporj some household errand into the cellar of the old building which our poverty compelled us to Inhabit. The cat followed me down the steep stairs, and nearly throwing me headlong exasperated me to madness. Uplifting an ax. and forgetting in my wrath the childish dread which had hitherto stayed my hand, 1 aimed a blow at the animal which of course would have proved instantly fatal had it descended as I wished. But this blow was arrested by the hand of mv The poet waited, listening to the sozzle of the rain and the loud, sucky plunk of the wooden shoe of the common peasant outside; also he could hear below the loudj coarse argument between Gutenberg and the cheese. "When he wanted an extra copy to give his mother, they gave him one "that had 16 pages put in wrong side up, and the dying mother lost those pages because she was too feeble to stand on her head and read them. I married early and was happy to find in my wife a disposition not uncongenial with my own. Observing my partiality for domestic pets, she lost noopjiortunity of procuring those of the most agreeable kind. We had Inrds. goldfish, a fine dog. Tabhits. a small monkey and a cat. THE END. Erevythtng Han a l'i«, A Japanese Hera, They had been married about a year and were passing through their first experience in housecleaning. The story of Sogoro, a peasant of Japan, is one of the most pathetic in the annals of heroism. In 1044 the country folk of Sdkoora were so oppressed by laud agents that theircondition appeared to them simplj unbearable. They had no newspapers to set foith their wrongs, and remonstrance ol any sort was dangerous. Driven to desperation, some of them met together ami prepared a petition to the daimio, who was spending in dissipation at Tokio the moDey wrung from them by taxation. "I am a-weary," said the poet. "Here is a common, low man who could not write a stanza of a song, yet he is able to own cheese and keep it till it gets a bead on it. He, forsooth, could not even write 'The Cork Leg' or the 'Iliad,' and yet he is able to retain his cheese till it can jump a 9-rail fence. He didn't want to take a hand, but his dear little wifey vowed she'd be miserably unhappy if he did not, and so to maintain jieace he had put on his old clothes and was prodding around at various things. Then they kicked at him in dull times because there were too many tears in his verse, and they would wink at each other over their fat bellies and say that his poetry was too damp. This latter was a remarkably large and beautiful animal, entire ly black, and sagacious to an astonishing degree. In speaking of his intelligence my wife,who at heart was toot h little tinctured with suCpurstition. made frequent allusion to tho ancient popular notion which regarded .all black cats as witches in disguise. A Coincidence. BATTLESHIP VICTORIA Medical Student—Do you know, Miss Fanny, that the action of the human heart is sufficiently strong to lift every 24 hours 120 pounds? closing the bulkheads. While the men were still trying to shut them, the vessel, with her immense guns and heavy top hamper, turned over and carried them wife. Goac'?d by the interference into a rage more than demoniacal, I withdrew my arm from her grasp and buried the ax in her br iin. She fell dead upon the spot without a groan. At the time of this writing he was trying to drive a picture nail with a tack hammer. She (blushing)—Really? just my weight.—1Tit-Bits. Why, that's "Why is it? / • down. "Why can a German tinker who knows a little magic, such as how to make an omelet in a plug hat with an oil stove or turn the jack from the bottom of the back and yet have as many victuals the ner£ morning as ever, go on making money, while I, who bring tears to fevered eyea and sobs from the breast of the young and fair, have not dipped my parching beak in-a beaker or bathed my cunning little mustache in a stein of cool beer since week before last?" So rapidly was the plunge taken that those on lDoard the Victoria had but little chance to cut loose the small boats. Several, however, were released, only to be carried down by the suction. There were 718 souls, all told, on board. Of this number 255 managed to get out of the whirlpool and were rescued by the small boats of the C'ampettiown. They wrote and sent the petition, brit no notice whatever was taken of it. Pos»J bly no one had even taken the troMile I o read it, and their wrongs seemed to oe without remedy. Pinto—this was the cat's name—was my favorite pet ami playmate. 1 alone fed him, and he attended me wherever 1 went about tho house. It was even with difficulty that I could prevent him from following me through the streets. He might as well tried to drive a yoke of steers with a straw. Brown—Is Jones as lazy as ever? Jaiheson—No. Since the birth of his child he has been in the habit of rising with the son.—New York Herald. Good For His Health. Although 1 thus readily accounted to my reason, if not altogether to my conscience, for tho startling fact just detailed, it did not the less fail to make a deep impression upon my fancy, for months I could not rid myself of the phantasm of tho cat, and during this (leriod there came back into my spirit a half seutiment that seemed, but was not, remorse. J went so far as to regret the loss of the animal and to look about mo, among the vile haunts which I now habitually frequented, for another pet of the same species and of somewhat similar appearance with which to supply its This hideous murder accomplished, I set myself forthwith and with entire deliberation to the task of concealing the bod}'. I that I could not remove it from the house, either by day or by night, withj/jt the risk of I«tng .observed by the neighbors. Many entered my mind. At one period I thought of cutting the corpse into minute fragments and destroying them by fire. At another I resolved to dig a gravo for it in the floor of the cellar. Again I deliberated about casting it into the well in the yard; about packing it in a box, as if merchandise, with the usual arrangements, and so getting a portC r to take it from the house. Finally I hit upon what I considered a far better exjtedient than either of theft?. I determined to wall it in the cellar, as the monks of the middle ages are recorded to have walled up their victims. Naturally his otherwise delightful disposition was ruffled, and of course hiD wife was to blame. Moved by the general suffering, Sogoro, • man of middle age, determined as a last itid desperate resort to present the petitioc ui person to his august greatness, the tj a ion. But he would not quarrel with her. He was not that kind of a man. Our friendship lasted in this manner for several years, during which my general temperament and character, through the instrumentality of the fiend intemperance, had (1 blush to confess it) experienced a radical alteration for the worse grew day by day more moody, more irritable. more regardless of the feelings of ■others. I suffered myself to use intemperate language to my wife. At length I .even offered her personal violence. A lnte dispatch from Beyroot says that the collision occurred at 5 o'clock Thursday afternoon, about seven miles from Tripoli. The vessels were almost at right angles when the Victoria was struck. Those on the Victoria's deck at the moment of collision scrambled away and were resetted by the boats from the Camperdown and several other vessels. The men below had no time to reaoh the deck. The sudden keeling of the Victoria caused her to begin to fill immediately and no escape was possible. It is difficult to obtain the names of the men rescued, as they are aboard severnl vessels, and so far all efforts have l**eu devoted to recovering bodies. Hostess—People are very dull tonight, Adolph. I really can't get thepa to talk. Getting Them to Talk. '.'Marv," he said, looking down at her from the top of tho stepladder and making an pffort to apjDear calm, "will yon bring me out* of tt)ose biscuits you made for breakfast this morning?" Taking leave of his friends, he went to lokio, secreted himself undera bridge which the treat man was to pass, and at the right moment pushed the |»etition at the end of a long bamlKxi directly into the royal hands. The act was without parallel in all the history of Japan. A mere peasant bad disturlied the royal seclusion and at the same moment broken the etiquette of the realm into a thousand pieces. The enormity of the act led to immediate inquiries into the Circumstances of the case, and the justice of Aomplaiiit was fully provnd. The peasants' wrongs were at once re dressed, but since decorum must be pi* *e*ved in Japan at auy cost the one man who hail thus served his js'ople was del-'v ered over for punishment to the very dai'uio of whom he had complained. Hoat—Play something, dearest.— Judy,  The Advent of • Statesman, After a time the heavy tread of the publisher was heard coming up the stairs, and in the gray light of the office the poet saw the strong features of Johann Gutenberg of the great publishing house of Gutenberg, Faust & Schoeffer, printers of royal equestrian work, bank work, county work, show printing, such as handbills, programmes, dodgers, hangers and immoral posters at low prices. "Why, Horace," she responded, looking at him wonderingly, "whatever do you want with it?" The new member from Amaroogin county arose to address the chair. It was the first time he had essayed to occupy the attention of the house, and every eye was turned upon him. Nothing was known of his ability as a public speaker, but from the fact that he was spoken of by the Aniaroogia papers as a rising man and that he had come to the legislature with a majority of more than 1,000 over all his competitors It was conjectured that he was a representative who would make his mark. "I waut to drive this confounded nail with it," he said. "This hammer is too light to do any good at all." place. ,My pets of course were made to feel ihechange in my disposition. 1 not only neglected but ill used them. For Pluto, however. I still retained K.'-lftnH.v.' 3  to restrain me from malti*:. dug hiin. rs 1 made no scruple of maltreating the rabbits, tho monkey or even tho dog •when by accident or through affection they came in my way. Hut my disease grew npon me—for whaf diw.isc is like alcohol?—and at length even Pinto, who was now Incoming old and consequently somewhat peevish. even Pluto began to experience the effects of ray ill temper. One night as I sat half stupefied in a den of more than infamy my attention was suddenly drawn to somo black objuct rv&miag upon tho lieadiif one. of the . immense hogsheads of gin or of ram which constituted the chief furniture of the apartment. I had been looking steadily at the top of this hogshead for some minutes, and what now caused m? surprise wait the fact that I had not sooner perceived the i»bje?-t. thereupon. I approached it and touched it with my hand. It was a black cat—a very large ope— fully ns large as Pluto and closely resembling bi:j) in every respect but one. Pluto liad not a white hair upon any poriion of his body, but this cat had a large although indefinite splotch of white covering nearly the whole region of the Then ho laughed a raw, rank laugh mid staid up on the top of the stepladder where she couldn't reach him.—Detroit Free Press. "TOO LATE! HE IS DEADt" And when he was broken in spirit and the autumn of his sorrowful life flickered in his sad, worn eyes they cheered him by putting out a new edition for Christmas, and he found that they had put his portrait in it with no cravat. Shortly after the collision five bodiea were tnkeu from the w.-.ter—one of them the body of the chief paymaster. They were buried with full military honors at Tripoli. "Gute mochgin," said the great inventor of movable types and inside rates on book publishing as he gave that peculiar but enticing melody to his voice which the American without tonsilitis can never hope to acquire, "We gates!" For a purpose such as this the cellar was well adapted. Its walls were lopsely constructed aud had lately been plastered throughout with a rough plaster, which the dampness of the atmosphere had prevented from hardening. Moreover, in one of the walls was a projection, caused by a false chimney or fireplace that had been filled up and made to resemble the rest of the cellar. I made no doubt that I could readily displace the bricks at this point, insert tho corpse and wall the whole up aC liefore, so that no eye could detect anything suspicious. Shortly after the death of the illustrious philanthropist, Sir Moses Montefiore, Tho Saturday Review ended an eqlogjstic potice of his life with, "HucL a career cannot be prystallijiw} into an epigram nor Hummed up in a bonmot." On this statement Punch felicitously commented, "Yes, It can—'Bon Mo" (Good Moses)." Samples of Wit. By his order Sogoro, his wife and theii three children were put to death. Today » monument marks the spot where f Ley died *nd their names are held in fateful r» wembrance.—Youth's Compat^o^. The t'amperdown was severely damaged forwarii iu the collision. Temporary repairs will be made, and she -frill then start for home. is said here tljat several times the Victoria had shown sign* of weakness in her steering gear. One theory is that on account of this weakness she )Decame unmanageable and could not be got out of the Camperdown's way. His appearance confirmed the impression. He stood over feet high, straight as an arrow, his eye was keen and piercing, and he glanced fearlessly about the house as if courting a trial of strength with its practiced debaters. When he was dying up stairs among the rafters and far and away and could now and then get a note or two of the bass drum in the celestial band, a beautiful young lady in a new dress drove up to the hall door. Jewels were in her hair and flashed from her pink and white hands and wrists. The poet made an obeisance so sudden and so earnest that his surprised and astonished digester rattled against his ribs like everything. Th* Curoanut Crab. "Gute mochgin, mynheer," he said. "Oxcoose me!" One night, returning home much intoxicated from one of my haunts about town, I fancied that the cat avoided my presence. 1 seized him, when in liis fright at my violence he inflicted a slight wound njwn my hand with his teeth. The cocoanut crab inhabits the islands ot the Indian ocean and se«.ms to be in his ele ment when sitting astride a limb high up In a cocoanut tree. An average sized specmen of the s|M-cies fills a 4-gallon jar U overflowing, tho "ovtrllow" being the alco hoi necessary to the preservation of suet things, lie is a jiowerful looking crusta cean and seen * well adapted to his trade, which chiefly consists of plucking cocoa nuts, husking them with his enormou» claws and diggi og the meat out through th* "eyes," which ycu have often noticed situ* ted near the small end of the nut. Cocoa nuts are originally inclose! in a three cor or husk, which consists of. woody filter of ccarse texture and a brown sh yellow color. This fiber surrounds each out iu a layer ffom I inch to 214 inches ii •hickness. "Mr. Speaker," ho said in a deep, commanding voice that rang out over tho legislative chamber like the deathknell of everything fraudulent, corrupt and degrading in American politics, "1 wish, sir, to give notice that next Tues-3ay I'm goin to interdooce a hill to abolish the blamed lioopskirt, and I don't '.five a dura who knows it I"—Chicago Tribune. "This," says Tho Nineteenth Century, "is worthy to rank with another of Punch's happy puns." When Lord Rotlischild took his oath as a peer, with his head reverently covered in accordance with Jewish usage, that journal suggested that he should assume the style and title of Lord Hatton. He then sat down again and ate a little of the paste to give him strength. Then he told his business. "I want," he said in a lowbift respectful voice, "to print a small book of my poems." She ran hastily up the old blattering stair, her silk gown and freshly starched skirts gliding up the old ruin with a sound like the summer wind in the poplars.The Duke of Edinburgh received this dispatch from Emperor William II: Words cannot express our horror. We all sympathise with our Ilritish comrades. A* token of oar sympathy, your ensign In flying from the mainmasts of our vessels, with our own ensign at halfmast. according to my orders. breast, i i 1 Uj)on my touching him he immediately arose, purred loudly, rubbed against my hand and appeared delighted with notice. This, then, was the very creature of which I was in search. I at once otfored_ to purchase it of the landlord. but this person made no claim to it —knew nothing of it—had never seen it Irf-foro. And in this calculation I was not deceived. By means of a crowbar I easily dislodged the bricks, and having carefully deposited the body against the inner wall I prop{*.*d it in that position, while with little trouble I relaid the whole structure as it originally stood. Having procured mortar, sand and hair, with every possible precaution I prepared a plaster-which could not be - distinguished from the old, and with this I very carefully went over the new brickwork. When I had finished, I felt satisfied that all was fight. Ti»« wall did not present thfl slightest appearance of having been disturbed. The rubbish on the floor was picked up with the minutest care. I looked around triumphantly and said to myself, "Here at least, then, my labor has not been in vain." She softly opened the door and stood looking at the poet, but he did not see her. The gentle wind stirred his gray, soft hair asagrandchild might have done. i u "Ah," said Mr. Gutenberg, "you'll have to see Schoeffer about that. I attend to the reissue of sacred works. I am now writing and getting ready an expunged edition of the Bible that will be aa good a Christmas book as you ever saw. I am one of the best expurgators in the business, but poetry doesn't catch on, I could make a good living just by expurgating alone. Jews, like Falstaff, have not only been "the cause that wit is in other men," but they have flashed their humor at the expense of their Gentile neighbors. In discussing the disaster, I.«ord Brassey, some time secretary of the'admiralty, said that the sinking of the Victoria supplied a strong argument against building mvre big men-of-war. Jt was evident, he said) that the Viptoria's armor afforded her no protection from the Camperdown's ram. While not convinced that smaller vessels were safer than the larger ones, he thought ft wiser to distribute the country's naval strength among many less pretentious men-of-war, rather than among a few monster battleships. It was poor policy to put ho many eggs in the basket. He had gone far beyond the laws of copyright and cent per cent. The beautiful girl grew sad. A cloud swept over the broad, soft brow. A dialogue overheard at the Stock Exchange on ft frosty winter's day : I continued my caresses, and when I prepared to go home th» animal evinced i disposition to accompany mo. I permitted it to do so, occasionally stooping and patting it as I proceeded. When it reached the house, it domesticated itself at once and became immediately a great favorite with mv wife. "Mr, Moses, what would you advis* me to buy today?" "Too late! Too late!" she said a6 sh« looked out at the west with a crystal tear rising and hanging like a diamond from one of her eyewinkersas Miss Gutenberg touched her heart with her gloved hand. "Thermometers, of course. They are very low at present and are sun: to rise," —Youth's Companion. The i ocoauut cMb collects lnrge quantl ties of this fiber Mid constructs a laign, dome shaped "ho ise" or nest, in which li* can always be foiu-d when uot out in C|UC*-t of more filter or ju't-y nuts. The natives jf most of the islauls which this crab in habits call it by a name which signifies "the bird of God," and they will not eat Its flesh, even though suffering the pangs of extreme h i,ger. On certain days of each year they kill cocoanut crabs for the fat which acc lniulates in the region of tho tail. This fat is used in sacrificial ■»"D otbw ce.remouial rites.—St. Louis Uepubll* "Schoeffer is the man for you to see. He tends to the Veritaster, the jackaster *nd the poetaster." With that he bit into a big red apple and went up stairs in order to  that the interview was at an end. "Too late! My God,,he is dead, and I did not get his autograph!" Mrs, BurrlU's Able Dog. A court circular Just issued says that the queen received the news with the deepest grief, and that "her heart bleeds for the many homes plunged in mourning." The queen publishes today a special letter of condolence pith thp families afflicted by the disaster. The gtpry of how the life of Mrs. Burrill, cook at the Boor's Head tavern, Leeds, was saved from the murderous attack of the man Rothery will furnish a potable addi tion to our collection of dog stories. The ruffian, who appears to have been moved by an insane fit of jealousy, having entrapped the woman into a room with a closed door, suddenly drew a razor from his pocket and attempted to cut her throat. No human help was at hand, but while Mr Burrill was struggling with her assailant a black dog belonging to the hotel, who happened to be lying asleep under a couch IB the room, aroused himself, and springing upon the assassin seized him by the coat sleeve close to the wrist. This at once compelled the man to attempt to shake the animal off. Meanwhile he necessarily relaxed his hold upon the woman, who now found strength to call for help. For my own part 1 noon found a dislike to it arising within me. This was jnet the reverse of what I had antici- bat—I know not how or why it waa—ita evident fondness for myself raths? disgusted and annoyed me. By slow degrees these feelings of disgust and annoyance rose into the bitterness of hatred. I avoided the creature, a certain sense of shame and the remembrance of my former deed of cruelty preventir j me from physically abusing it. I did not for some weeks strike or otherwise violently ill use it. but gradually, ve ' gradually, I came to look upon it wi. t unutterably loathing and tv flee silently from its odious presence. The poet asked for Mr. Schoeffer, but he was out of town trying to get the tax list and oounty printing for Strasburg. Improvements have been made in printing and typesetting. One man does what 50 did in Gutenberg's time, and huge buildings with thundering presses and clattering typesetting machines rise to the sky. A good looking book of 600 pages, well bound, may be made for 9 cents and given on the dry goods counter* with each jackknife or fine tooth comb, but the poet still gets his little old 10 per cent royalty. My next step was to look for the beast which had been the cause of so much wretchedness, for I had at length firmly resolved to put it to death. Had I been able to meet with it at the moment there could havo lDeen no doubt pf its fate, but it apiDeared that the crafty animal }iad been alarmed at the violence of my preLvious anger and forbore to present itself in my present mood. It is impossible to descrilje or to imagine the deep, the blissful sense of relief which the absence of the detested creature occasioned in my bosom. It did not make its appearance during the night, and thus for one night at least since its introducti n into the bouse I soundly and tranquil.y slept—aye, plept even with the burden of murder udou my soul! It was several days before the poet went back again to the office and wiped his feet on the large hole at the threshold worked in gray coffee sacking and used at that time for doormats. The queen sent Colonel Carriugton to express her sorrow and sympathy to Lady Tryon. On the evening following the afternoon of the disaster Lady Tryon, who arrived from Malta three weeks ago, was holding her first reception of the .season. Two hundred guests were present. When the news of her husband's death reached her she fell in a faint. Lady Tryon Fainted, The Vnnderbilt family owns a valnaWs whip. It was presented to the late W. H. Vanderbilt. The design was made by Frits Kaldenburg, the sculptor, at a cost ot 12,000. The whip and ivory stock, before any carving was done, cost #600, It is seven feet long. Above tho stock the whip ts made of solid whalebone, then worth three dollars per pouud, now scarce at ten dollars. Over this solid whalebone is the finest braiding of split tapered whalebone ever attempted. The Vnnderbtlt Whip. The poet had been ill. He had been invited to drink something and had thoughtlessly done so on an empty stomach. "I have not eaten anything," he said, as if to himself, "but I cannot lose this opportunity in order to go about the whole city seeking to comply with an old philosophical whim." In hi* frf'iht nt my vt nlcvrc he in filet cd a —Life. tHyht tiiiHiitl uptm my hand. The fury of a demon instantly jtossessod me. I knew myseh' no longer. My original soul seemed at once to take its flight from my tfody, and a more than fiendish malevolence, gia nurtured, thrilled every fiber of ray frame. I took from my waistcoat pocket a iDenknif«, operned it. grasped tho poor beast by the throat and deliberately cut one of its eyes from the socket! I blush. I burn, 1 shudder while I pen the damnable atrocity.Domestic Economy. /D /D 2^/ Three or four salesladies \t\ (v W°oCS ward avenue dry goods emporium we j* talking about their domestic affairs th» other day during lunch hour. The state concert and other royal functions on the programme for pest week have lieen postponed. The lord mayor has opened a relief fund for the benefit of the needy families who lost members in the disaster. "I think," said one, "the gas companj is a tyrant. Why, do you know, our gat bill hist month was $3.50." Therefore his head was hurting him some, and the merest fragment of the dog that had bitten him was out of the question. Fair Warning, '■[ Ml Rothery, however, succeeded in releasing himself, ft!id pnce more he rushed at the woman. razor in hand- The dog, however, was still more nimble. He Bp wig between them and leaped to seize the fellow by the throat. It was at this moment that the Jandlady, having heard the screams, rushed ro the /loor and got hold of the woman, whose egress Wtt-s obstructed by the chair on which she had been kitting before she removed to the couch. With great presence of mind she dragged Mrs. Burrlll out, and closing the door shut the man in the room with the dCDg- So far as is known the animal did not f"..nbisF molest Kothery, who thereupon cut his own throat ftnd was found by a policeman a few minutes later at the point of death.—London News. What the London Papers Say. This morning's newspapers are filled with articles describing the vessels and with obituaries of the most conspicuous officers tost. All publish leaders extending condolence to the friends of the drowned men. Every leader eulogizes Admiral Tryou. The Daily News says editorially- The braiding of the whip and the making of the snapper occupied one whole month. The cise for the whip cost, $100l The handle of the whip is of the purest Ivory, 2| jnchfs Jong aiu} inches thick at the butt end, which is an ornainentaf capital, from which a floral pattern emanates, emblematic of power, truth and perpetuity, which encircles four panels. Id each panel is a wonderful piece of carving, on one side a locomotive and a train of cars, on the other a steamboat, symbolizing the foundation of Cornelius Vander bilt's great achievements. "Oh," twittered a demure, blue eyed girl, "ours was only $1.75." Schoeffer was an odd looking man who had risen from farm life to the normal school and thenoe to the publishing' business. He corrected people who made grammatical errors and charged it up to their copyright account. He would lead the printers around till they got to talking about cement and its pronunciation. Then he would bet with them, and those who lost had it taken out of their wages, "But we have so much company, and the gas is turned on full every night." § When reason returned with the morning—when I had slept off the fumes of the night's debauch—I experienced a ••entiruent half of horror, half of remorse, for the crime of which I had been gnilty Bat it was At best a feeble and ■eqnivoeal feel in pr, «nd the sonl rent aim 1 untouched. I again plunged into excess And soon drowned in vine all memory of the deed. "So do we," twittered blue eyes again "but we turn the gas down low," and then everybody laughed, and so did blu* eyes, with a shy little blush of pleasure. —Detroit. Free Press. Iffy America will thrill at the news, coming as It does, when the New York cheers for our squadron have hardly died away. Are we to pay go inuch In millions and broken hearts only to learn that the compartment nystetu is a delusion and a snare? Ao Inconvenient Advertisement. H« was a very nice young man and wai got up in the highest style of art. I-e sat down in the tram car and regarded with evident admiration a pair of very positive, very loudly checked and very new trousers, which be pulled up carefully at the knees to prevent any tendency to bagging. Distinguished Naturalist in Africa— By Jove, my boy, I guess I'm your breakfast! But just wait till you commence to feel in your own inside the pangs of the dyspepsia I've had for the last 30 years, and you'll wish you had let me alone.— Life. The Times says The Inquiry Into the causes of this disaster uiusi be searching and exhaustive—the puntshjnerft, if blame be found to e&lat. adequate and unfllnofiin#. Only so can the lesson of the  calamity be turned to arconnt. The true leeeot) is not that maneuvers at sea are too hazardous, but that only by incessant practiceof evolution! b( hi«h ?[it:pd '""n 'he navy lie fitted for the ut»- i pseities ot wai. ' "I have very little to do here," said Mr. Schoeffer, "except in the even-ing. I am more in the firm to correct proofs and look out for the press than any"tsut do you not nanme otner Airsis. for rising authors who can still read fine print?" V— :vy V'Y /4:D l&tz On the third and fourth panels are the achievements of W. H, VaU'lerbilt's genius —the Grand Central railroad depot on one, and on the other himself in a buggy driving his celebrated fast horses ou the road. On the end of the handle two portrait busts In high relief of Cornelius and W. H. Vanderbllt—father and son. The whip is sacredly kept in a glass case among the art treasures of the Vanderbilt gallery, and in future generations will be treasured as a work of art. even though it is ouly a whin. -Jewelers' Review In the meantime the cat slowly rocov«wl. The socket of the lost ore presenteel, it l* trne. a frignttui appearance, out ho no longer appeared to suffer-any pain. Ho wont about the house as usual, bat, as might bo expected, fled in extreme terror at my approach. I had so much of my old heart left as to be at first grieved by tills evident dislike on tho part of a creature which had once so loved me. A Novel Idea. The car rattled and clattered along, and all the passengers gassed into upward vaeanoy, like all tram car passengers do. Finally a fair maiden, who sat opposite the youug man, saw something and gig gled, after the fashion of her kind. Then •he looked at the nice young man and glg# gled again, and then she nudged her fair companion, and the fair companion gazed kcross the car, looked at the young man and giggled. It was a black cat—a very large one. "I didn't git tired walkin round," said Uncle Silas after his return from the fair. "I was rid." What added no doubt to my hatred of the beast was the discovery on tho morning after I brought him home that, like Pluto, it had been deprived of one of its eyes. This circumstance, however, only endeared it to my wife, who, as J have already said, possessed in a high degree that humanity of feeling which had onco been my distinguishing trait and the sou roe of many of my pleasures. "Very rarely. IIow many copies do you want to print?" Woman is a noble word; it is much better than lady. Walter Scott knew better than to write, "O lady, in our hours of ease," etc., and you couldn't hire Byron to revise a celebrated passage to read, "Gentleman's love is of gentleman's life a thing apart; 'tislady'i whole existence."—Boston Transcript. Woman and l ady. "Oh! You hired a chair?" Regard It as a Severe r.cimn. "You bet 1 didn't.* I took my boy Tommy's roller skates an put 'em on, an my wife she rolled me all around the place."— Harper's Bazar. Qc£bec, June 24.—-The loss of the warship Victoria, with its attending terrible sacrifice of life, is looked upon here as con Ilrirtint: the opinion of many naval officer* concerning the monster warships of the present day. While the Victoria might be unmatched as to efficiency in bombarding a seaport town or in destroying a seacoast, local experts say she was decidedly too unwieldy for maneuvering off sealmard. "Why, I could hardly tell, of course, all depending on how the public nabbed at it. Of course I wanted one copy for my mother. She would like it and appreciate it, because she has always laughed and wept and loved me for these poor things that I have done. Other people have read some of them, too, and then read them over again and written to me about them as they would if they liked them, .and surely they do pot do it to win my good opinion, for that is not worth anything to anybody. Jk The blow u ns arretted hy the hand of my The Rccond mid the third day passed, and still my tormentor-came not. Once again I breathed as a free man. The monster in terror had fled the premises forever! I should behold it no morel My happiness was supreme! The guilt of my dark deed disturbed me but little. Some few inquiries had been made, but these had been readily answered. Even a search had lieen instituted, but of course nothing was to lie discovered. 1 looked upon my future felicity as se- tdie A I'reiH rlptlon. But this feeling soon gave place to irritation. And then came, as if to my final and Irrevocable overthrow, the spirit of pervereeness. or tins spirit philosophy takes no account. Yet I am not more sure that my soul lives than I am that perverseness is one of the primitive impulses of the human heart—one of the indivisible primary faculties or sentiments which give direction to the character of man. Who has not a hundred times found liimself committing a vile or a silly action for no other reason than because he knows he should not? Have wo -not a perjfet'ial inclination, in the teeth of our best judgment, to violate that which is law, merely because we understand it to be such? Tm feeling very much run down,* said the twenty-sixth spring poet, who had called that day on theeditor. "Could you recommend auything I conld take for it?" A Sound That Appeal* to All but the Deaf All this annoyed the nice young man, who had been looking very wise, and when two or three other passengers joined in tbt chorus he began to wriggle and ceased looking wise. The laughing increased aud grew aud spread, and the nice young man grew desperate. He gat up to see what it was over his head that caused the unseemly cachinnation. He had registered as J. C. Moberly of N'ew York, and the only thing he bad about him that was out of the ordinary Dvps au extreme deafness. Clerk Cuuningbam bat. made himself hoarse in trying to convince the man that he was not acceptable to the house, and nearly everybody aliout the of fice bad done the same thing. The jnafi put on au indignant air and refused to hear or understand what it was the intention of the jieople to crowd into bis head. Finally Cunningham gave up his place at the desk to the gentleman who writes fig ures upside down on the register in turn with himself, and then putting on an overcoat and a hat and an air of nouchalance he wandered to the rotunda, yhere Mr. Moberly ifas to read a uote from the manager and still acting very deaf. Cunuingham gradually worked himself around until he got within aliout 10 feet of the very deaf man from New York, and then lie took some silver money from his pocket. \N hile counting the money and fingering it Cunningham accidentally (?) dropped asilvei dollar Christian Note*. With my aversion to this cat, however, its partiality for myself seemed to increase. It followed my footsteps with a pertinacity which it would be difficult to make the reader comprehend. Whenever I sat it would crouch beneath my chair or spring upon iny knees, covering ine with its loathsonio caresses. If i arose to walk, it would get between my feet, and thus nearly throw mo down, or, fastening its long and sharp claws in my dress, clamber in this manner to my breast. At such times, although I longed to destroy it with a blow, I was yet withheld from so doing, partly by a memory of my former crime, but chiefly—let me confess it—by absolute dread of the beast. They say further that while scarcely anything has been done to nullify the deadly action of the "ram," the navies of the world have given hardly a thought to lifer boat drill, a proof of which is seen In the immense loss of life In connection with the sinking of the Victoria. The disaster is regarded as a severe loss to the navies of the world. The number of Presbyterian Christian Endeavor societies is as follows: Presbyterian, 5,3tD3; Cumberland Presbyterian, 549; United Presbyterian, 275; Reformed Presbyterian, 43: Scotch Presbyterian, 24. In addition there are enrolled two Westminster lertgues of Christian En- "Yea," said the editor wearily, yet strong enough to seize the opportunity; "take two ounces of prussio acid or a twenty years' trip to central Africa."— Harper'B Bazar. "I do not write as a regular thing, Mr. Schoeffer, but I write because my heart says so. There are no headaches and no dyspepsia in my poetry, for my digestion has been ready all the time to fill more orders than we get, so this isn't a reprint of other stuff, but so far just held precious betwixt rio and my soul. He found it. It was one of those big cardboard advertisements that ..doru tram ears. It was printed in big black letters, and It said: cured A ItoiiMiiRa Ahead. Physician's Wife—Are your affairs in very bad shape, Jolin? deavor. Upon the fourth day of the assassination a party of the police came very unexpectedly into the house and proceeded again to make rigorous investigation of the premises. Secure, however, in the inscrutability of my place of concealment, I felt no embarrassment whatever. The officers bade me accompany them in their search. They left no nook or corner unexplored. At length for the third or fourth time they descended into the cellar. I auivered ngt in a muscle. My Flags Lowered at Montreal. The young man sitting beneath this card is one of our customers. He is very fussy apd hard to please; but my I isn't he •n elegant dresser? He has on a pair a/ •ur 10s. Od. trousers.— ICondon Tit-Bits. The Congregationalists have 4,308 Christian Endeavor societies. Physician—Very; but I hope to pull through. My creditors have extended my paper to the middle of the toboggan season.—Texiia Siftuigs. Montreal, June "24.—The prevailing Impression here among steamship officers in this port is that the terrible catastrophe which happened her majesty's ship Victoria was unused Oy the tenacity with which the British admiralty adheres to the praotlce of column maneuvering with ships In close proximity to one another. Mr. H. B. Pennell, now of Boston, son of Mr. W. II. Pennell. led the first Christian Endeavor prayer meeting, being at the time but 11 years of age. "I would want to send a copy to the county school superintendent. He knows me and knows how I think. He knows what I have to stand and how I hate to eome and ask people to buy my songs, these little lobes of my soid, at so much per lobe." Th's spirit of perverseness, I say. came :to my final overthrow. It was Dthis unfathomable longing of tho soul to vex sitae If—to of ar violence to its own najjgre to do vTong for the wrong's sake 4toly— that urged mo to continue and to consummate the injury I had No Use. A Magnet. Servant—There is a man at the door with a bill, sir. The total number of Christian Endeavor societies is 23,163; 845 of these societies are in foreign and missionary lands. 1,54# in the Dominion of Canada and 20,772 in our own land. There are now 2,859 Junior Christian Endeavor  Pieties enrulLtuL ■» This dread was not exactly a dread of physical evil—and yet I should be at a loss how otherwise to define it. I am almost ashamed to own—yes, even in this Mrs. Wagner—How do j'oti mauago to keep servants so well? Mrs. Cuteun—We have a very handsome policeman on this beat.—Chicago Inter Ocean,. I'nder the old system adopted previous to the time when rams were introduced as part of a ship's equipment in wheeling Into or out of Hue, ships were kept closely to one Travers—Didn't you tell him I was out? Servant—No, sir. He has been here too often.—Quips. i "Well, would a dozen copies be enough?"