Pittston Gazette

              D- git ft m iSU si ■& M ; i V. liev ITTSTON, LIZERNE CO., PA., FRIDAY, MARCH HI, 1893. 1 ESTABLISHED 1M50. VOI.. \ I.III. NO. uidest ewspaper in ths Wyoming A Weekly Local and Family Journal. ) fjU.RO l'KH AXNum ( IN ADVANCE that could be spared to come ashore and lend a helping hand to the defenders, tv:d himself went off in the Tiger to meet the Turks and hurry them on. The issault was delivered late in the afternoon, and, though the Turks fought like liDns and the gun-boats plied the French with shot and shell without surcease, the leading file suc- keeptng them in view, and when opportunity offers giving them a broadside. lie called to inquire after you the other day. lie has mentioned your name in his dispatches: so you are sure to get your post. Djezzar has been here almost continually. He was terribly cut up when we thought, as we did at first, that you would not pull through. He called you his son, and wept. He must have a heart somewhere, though he is such an old cutthroat. They say he paid so much apiece for the heads of French soldiers, and counted them and paid the money himself." 'NYE OX IITS TRAVELS. mountains, filling and improved farm j the main entrance of the Hotel Jerome All that sanMl Aspen was that she was not present at tlie time. Aspen is a beautiful eitv, but the air is so rarefied that a tenderfoot gasps like,a dying sucker on the grassy bank. y wmi snow rty as far as HIS PEN FALTERS WHEN HE WRITES OF THE ROYAL GORGE. Something About the Porter on tlie Sleep- ceded in efTceting,a lodgement in the ruins of tlic old tower, where they protected themselves from the flanking fire ing Car ami Ills Life Work—Tlie Silver Canyon City is also romantically situated at tho entrance to Grand canyon. It has everything tlyit heart could wish except more tourists. Hot tmd cold springs, with or without mineral in thein, are ready for the invalid who craves a new kind of water to sozzle in. Question Tourlied I'p an«l a Story About a Ileal Woman. i.f the EfjuaClron with barricades.of sandtv:.rs and ilcad bodies. When daylight C nme. the tricolor was floating from the [Copyright, by Edgar W. Nye.] Westward Ho, March. ontcr angle of the tower; and the French renewed the attack with great Did you ever see a porter on a sleeping car make up a berth? It does not look like anything hard to do, and yet if you try to make up 26 berths and "have them look tidy you will find that great beads of perspiration are pouring down from your brow. I am watching one at Ms work as I write. I love to sit in a car this way, with a table, and write on and 011 indefinitely with an earnest air, as one might if he were, putting a summer kitchen on the universe. Blake told me, further, that the Kangaroo was in the harbor, and as soon as I could be moved would take me, and a number of other sick and wounded, to Portsmouth. Mrs. Bruce, the wife of one of the warrant officers of the squadron, had been appointed to act as my nurse, and watched me turn and turn about with my steward. The pasha came in while we were talking. He expressed great joy at hearing that I had recovered consciousness, and would have engaged me in conversation, but Blake would not allow it. He said that I had talked too much already. So Djezzar had to go; but the nest day he came again,and, sitting down by my bedside, talked for nearly an hour—sometimes in French, sometimes in Arabic— about the siege and all that had befallen since we first met. lie was very proud of his victory over the French, but frankly acknowledged that without the help of his "English friends" Acre must have fallen. They fought like devils, he said, in the final assault, which took place two days after 1 was blown nn: hp eroesed swords with Murat, and could have killed him, but, seeing that he was a beau garcon, Djezzar contented himself with cutting off the plume of the general's helmet. Another time when pasha came to see me he inquired, in a hesitating, ronndabout fashion, whether I was married. Turks, he said, apologetically, would regard such a question as a deadly insult; but as we were both Europeans he hoped I would not be offended.There is one spring which Was famous for its healing powers centuries ago, and the Indians came from all over North America to bathe in it and show off their new clothes. n'-rg; at the very moment the rein- forcemeats' were landing at the mole. The commodore led the Turks up to the breach in person, and the fight soon beciiirie so hot tf.at the muzzles of the muskets touched and the spear-heads of The proprietor wishes mo to say that since then the springs have lieen entirely refitted with fresh towels, combs, brushes and soap. The change is noticeable and agreeable. le interlocked. While this as going on. another body of Turks an ! a contingent of blue-jackets, armed with pikes, made a sally in force, drove the enemy from their lodgement iD the tower, and checked the advance of their main body. We still held our ground, but we had not yet won the victory; and from the commotion ia their camp, and the presence of Bonaparte in the trenches, it was evident that another and, probably, a still more desperate assault was impending. In accordance with a suggestion made by Djezzar it was decided that as the French came on the defenders of the ramparts should retire from the breach and let them enter, and when they were entangled in the narrow streets of the town and the gardens of the seraglio the fresh troops, supported by the sailors and marines of the-squadron, should attack them with dagger and scimitar in the traditional Turkish fashion. I cannot do justice to the Royal gorge, which is near Canyon City and named after the lunch counter at Omalia. My pen falters. -5^ • o I quote from a livery stable man of Canyon City: "The Royal gorge! Whatever there is in the grand canyons to surpass the other canyons of tD# Rocky mountains whatever there is to put the Swiss 'Via Mala' in the shade, is found in the first five miles that lie west of Canyon, City. Here is where the cliffs are vertical and where rays of sunlight never enter. This abysmal chasm ranks with Niagara and the Yosemite, among the greatest wonders of America. No wordsVan enable the imagination to realize the stupendous and gloomy grandeur of the \ It is as if the Almighty in his wratu had riven the mountains asunder to make a sepulcher for the sun, and the ancient sun, as the centuries, roll away into the ocean of time, comes every day a little while and shines into the great abyss calndy and pensively, liken, passing martyr .smiling into his own grave. WHILE STILL BCKSING, Shortly before sunset a massive column advanced to the attack under a heavy fire from the gunboats and the walls. Heedless of the leaden hail which strewed their path with the dying and the dead the fine fellows rushed up the glacis at the double, and when they found the breach unoccupied hoisted the tricolor on the ramparts, and shouting: "Victory!" crossed the inner works and poured into the town. And then the Turks, Albanani-ins, Maugrabins and blue jackets, emerging from their ambush, fell upon them and literally put them to the edge of the sword. The French fought with splendid courage and dogged resolution, but being both outnumbered and taken at advantage tlicy had no chance, and, as I heard afterwards, few of them escaped. For I knew only by hearsay how this, the fiercest fight in which I 'ever was engaged, and the last, came I LOVE TO SIT IN A CAR THIS WAY. mr.tances. One of these deft blackamoors is making a berth for a single lady whose face reminds me of a dream I had when a child and had washed down a quart of green gooseberries with a pint of warm milk. She has two cords at the back of her neck which run up into her raven black hair as far as tho eye can reach. Some of her hair will not remain up, but comes out in a shy way about lier ears, like a bunch of timothy on a vacant lot. Tho porter is a perfect Hebe in figure, and as he guts warmed up to his work you can tell where lie is. Yet he is graceful in his work, and when he is done tho berth into which I go looks almost like a calla lily with a humming bird in it. "The impression, which Hie scene makes upon the sense is nncommunicable. The abysmal grandeur thrills the soul with a subtle and anxious feeling of mysteries unfathomable, of tragedies that have wrung the breast of nature. The waters know the undiscovered secret of their mother's woes and rush in turbulent anger from the scene. Winds are born here which voice in moaning undertones through the passages of the chasm some old, transmuted grief, too sorrowful to bo spoken aloud. This spectacle is a .majestic lamentation in granite and may be seen from one of my carriages, costing only $2 per hour, including food for the team." 's length of mo, I stopped short. ! my feet firmly on the ground, .'le a back; like a boy playing at og. Longlcgs fiew over me. I answered that I was not offended In the least, nor married—yet. "You perhaps will be?" "I hope so." "You don't buy your wives in England, I think?" "No." "Vor keep them locked up?" "Nor keep them locked up." "And the law allows you only one, I bejieve?" r'Only one." "I think ycrar plan is the best," observed th- 'la, fte ~ reflective I am the humming bird. * pab.. , a a refle«  When Mr. Pullman put forth his great success in traveling and sleeping, he provided a place for a humble, simple race of people who are fitted exactly to this work. The new feature he introduced has become familiar now—viz., the African by descent and the porter by berth. Oli, what a great, ghastly, white, still and solemn spinal column the earth lays bare up at Leadville, Colo. Over 10,000 feet, two miles and a quarter, above the sea level lie the mighty vertebrae of a continent. Here dwell the avalanche and the man who refuses all money but silver. Even the conductors on the railroad hesitate about taking anything but silver here. to an end. The horror of it was increased by the barbarity of the Turks, No Booner was a man wounded or disarmed than they cut off his head. When the stress of the struggle was over I did all I could to save the Frenchmen who asked for quarter from the fury of our savage allies. My humanity nearly cost me my life. Seeing an old mosgue beset by a number of rurks 1 1 inquired "what was trie matter, and, finding that a few French soldiers had got inside and barricaded the door, I told them that resistance was useless, and that if they would surrender to me and my Kangaroos I would guarantee their lives. They thanked me heartily, and one of the poo* fellows opened the door. A Turkish officer shot him dead. Without a moment's hesitation I ran the villain through, and the Frenchman retreated into the mosque. I had no idea that the silver question had aroused such a feeling in the western states. A mine owner told me yesterday that a very little spark would let off an explosion in Colorado and the mining states that would echo around the world. He could command 25,000 troops in a few hours,'"he said. The present price of silver meant a loss of a dollar a day to the miner and closed many good mines. A PBESEXT FOB TOUB FUTURE WIFE. "Fire the cartridges! Let us all die together!" shouted one of them. "Back! back, for your lives!" I shouted to my men. pause. "When you have several wives they want no end of looking after; and when you "buy them they—" A LAKGE RAT fN NYE*S DRESSING F.OOM. Much may lDe said of the magnificence and awful and impressive grandeur of the Royal gorge, and the wonderful power that could not only create but sever these great mountains as with a mighty sword. Much miirht be written of all the wonders lDetween the Mississippi and the Golden Gate, enough to convince the most skeptical, doubting soul _ on earth that there was a great and good intelligence back of all accidental chemistry, glacier erasion, earthquake action, , and preadamite changes—a God who created this mighty museum of never ceasing wonders and then left them all open on Sunday, so that the poor and the working men might come and see them. "Sell you," I suggested. The pasha uttered an exclamation which sounded very like a curse in a language I did not understand—probably Turkish—then in Arabic— *Yes, they sell you, and then you have to make an example of them." (This was doubtless a delicate allusion to the thirty ladies of his harem whom Djezzar had thrown into the sea). "I would rather be the husband of one faithful wife than the master of thirty slaves. But every country has its own customs. A man in my position must have a harem, and the only way of obtaining a harem is by purchase. I suppose, however, though you don*t buy your wives in England, you make them presents sometimes?" Wall street is blamed for all this, and great capitalists are looked at askance. Twice this happened to me in Denver. It is a great problem for the new and victorious administration to solve. Then there was a dull roar, and a blinding flash; something struck me on the head, and I remember no more. • • • • ' • * • CHAPTER XIV. When I came to myself I was lying1 on my back, in darkness, and, as it seemed to me, bound hand and foot. My first thought was that I had been taken prisoner by the French, heavily ironed, and thrown into some horrible dungeon. I have often laid awake at night thinking of Mr. Cleveland up at Lakewood in his room trying to write his inaugural address and some one tapping at the door to ask for an office just as he has almost invented a new phrase like innocuous desuetude for the new era, and then so many other tilings, like the sugar teat islands and the silver question, and I start up wildly and say to myself: "Who would envy him? Who would make the long fight in November to take up in March such an unwelcome job?" (, h ir. | tjie. r Up v»ith f?e fcataiiion. And now, v. i i £ D ' •D The corpor J fell back a step, ominously; and one of them, who, as I Qj m ▼ .Tnd-T-V.-.mi hauUoVlimK-r. in such W" and toll lDow yon ku.-wI my li,.- ••• 1 sin-; Su-d ■ t bis armr. and looked as observed, had a very short body on phe. . , . . . , r ! the lives of several of our seiners*"® enraptured as if he beheld a Heavenly nomenally long: legs, pointed at me, lusn- Dn to rniutT tae stronger •• " I , . «f DPV ---f than before; and time aft rt :.i • ,t r.n- ° her day, and ask that you ni .y Le . - vision. . , it| bhoutu^- » r-t- ROt MOJ ing p. iti's descended into the ditch as J was, he mo wuh. ' Two/ha.th-s o* wino! .DidII hear ; "Look at him! Look at him! He i . , i • , ,1, .i g.bes and reproaches. K -oi r a ! aright? iv.o bottles of wine? \»hv, has a rair of pood shoes; and if those onlv to bo driven back with heavv 1 -.s. , , 1 . ... . , , . , , , , . ,r, , , BY WILLIAM WEsTALL. Wh;-i our -pies - reported th.-t the *Iurat have already spoken to l»m in for two bottles oj wine I would almost are not English breeches my name is , , '' , • ' • ' the Kame'sense. They say that yo :r j take t' _■ place of this gentleman." j not Ja-ques Jambon. Tie is a spy! [coNTisot.,,] - l-rench engncers making a nnne cxwntJon wil, n •« to f-*! "On of th n is torDu. corporal." After him! After him!" '•Angry? lie was enraged, w.aiM not ? \ 'J army. But it v. as all to no pnrp •. I Are you serious \1. le Chef : (Dn this I crowded on all sail and made hear a word of explanation, placed me s. il* Wnomv h™l They did not shako his* resolution in C.e Bataillon? Excuse me for seeming n bee-line for the sea, the six soldiers under arrest, .and dismissed me fr D:n ray S^^S^aeveral w£ 2? rVV*"* V"* foUovung in hot chase. Thanks to my post as aid-de-eamp. That was the rosoiTCtl to mal:; a sortie ia force, as w only one thing for it \ou must es- "There is a bottle of Medoc for von  cruelest blow of alf. I am now a chef ,, , ,'.0 oDcration bv with- caP(D- , ' ,., , , ] ' ,, -y.' . de bataillon of the vingt-troLsie-.nc | ''r' ht/ ' * tte i "That is exactly what I have d c,n ! and a bottle of Lafitte for M. hoy. As legere—nothing more. The genera! is £*V' ~ ** JgJ 3 thinking. But how isitto be done v. hilo : I have to be on duty.in the trenches, I slow to forgive, and I doubt whether 1 ! » V". ia thjw two armed ,ik,i ai-e Mtag .-v, m* | Sk shall ever win bock his favor." . | utor; , . e composc(j yhnost „clnsivelv a^tbe onl/ Acro 18 swa/am» | SwSSumi m him M S "Why not? At the worst, your-of- .. 4on and marines amonir with your troops?' I to a"t as my fru n.I s host and pay him fc- -• X*}.- 1 fense was merely a siiT-bt error .-f «"-•» w...nen and marines, amon,, thonght of a plan. It j tfcasame- attention as if be were your , p==- , 1 ? J whom were as tt*ny of my own fellows " 1 own";: !. All the same von will keen ——JR  I rnent. 1 lie escape of un:,\ of ,asfon](| be spared from the duties of 1 . ,,, T ,, .... „ v ,ir , . .-m aid take eire that he ' inferior rank is no great matter." .l" Vn "2Severjnind the risk. I wor. 1 rr r J .,-n ....a a..au.a un tiiat i*e 7 f "Ah. but you were r t a:, ' AVe Allied forth shortly before dawn. f]Ied trj-ing to cscapi ta,3 .iVS^S/^ows^duty Uonarar' D r-" ■ ; voa «\ *r. • #rit * i« .1 shot by order of Gen. Bonaparte* v *-i4 11 • oi.i,y, — * I lA  ■ him. ttatyoo virtually ; "I'C• ™ky. tat pntttiwWe. 1%«- »'■ CM I viil t, Hoi« JTM !• ""j f TS « tta SS !" raI, . 7y"to-f■ S"S «{ you repaid with l»a.-,c u.gratifuo. ho .fnrn „,.,(l.rwI "By wine! If I were m a gallo,,, . i my n-t never arinn nine . / jf •» P" «» T«..3,«doc» form,, you „yr /Vf np0tn^'U- , , , and drove tha French from their tirst might conceivably be saved by J/ W C^J •Uisnot true that I accept, da. ,,,, Thon tkcy and re- ~me sonn. Lordcanx or goo«l o,d . ■ r. § A Hrf - •, mission in the He Fr [arEcd to the charge, and the gnns bnt how w-ine is going totsave me t.o.n (C AU of it  rr.e to accept one WCre retaken and again taken several being shot to-morrow mormng An 1 should ibink ab ut itr rd nv.- :» my comprehension.' AnCt a..ont ,D.u.t time my answer •*« hifi refcum to I'a: Is I The fighting took Ptee round "AU the same it will save yon, M. le  m-.y be tv.t I a ted immoW, that I the mouth of the mine, of which, after Capitamc my plan miscarry, P-ml. you know. Suppose we say in ——^ ought to have refused his-iff. r there awd a desperate struggle, we obtained tern- iTstin' corn' in "Gocri: That will bo nine o'clock. while STILL BCKNIJJG. then. My excuse is that had I done so porary posse sion. Several of us. led , bottles of it are And t'ao Medoc is all for me?" good shoes and better condition, I Voon I should probably have been sent back by Maj. Oldtield. a brave officer of ma- fa^,'0^n But it is strict- "All." . distanced them all except Jambon. to prison: and I was dying to regain my rines, forced our way into the gahery. /. r src-ial and tlic "Sa non\ T j'isU count the minutes, whose long legs were more than a eetlrcedom." . Oldfield was shot, dead by a miner .Jg£K.SctaS A.thousaml thanks, M. ie Chef de Bat- off for his indifferent foot-gear. "I don't think you acted wrongly Ah wnom I cut- oown the next moment oce^;on ' placo at your disposai aUlon." Though I tried my best, I could not the world is agreed that wlvn a maa rD v.i a t-i\ swpru. 4nrnVwVtl*Ci " * "Au revoiiv' r.aid Laclusc. craspincr bIialee the rascal off. lie even gained under dur ;s he i3 justi&il in Wng a After propsn,; £Cvl pn,tty sure thnl the on me a little, and it was plain that un- Jittle strategy in order to obtain his wc c.juid, we hurried back to toe en no_„ order fC-r yoiir or.ecntion will not be less I stopped him he would overtake .freedom. If the general deceived bim- , ,, .. •w._C,h hoav-'lv rein- "And don't you interrupt, mon ami. carried out; so keep np yopr spirits." me. 1 might, of course, have brought self, that was his own auar. But toe ;; , * jve md Wait until I have finished, and then The - v. onls v. ere accompanied bV a to and fought him, but that would have deception of which be accuses you i=. fyr.CC(1' fcllo,vs and -s we gife your opinion.' I say that I ple-.-e glance at me which meant that tliby taken several minutes, quite enough to n°ZrlC oh!'the tnierged'from the mine we were all at your disposal two bottles. U'hen were for the b-nclit of let the others come up to me. \ihy, what is there On. the prisoners the corporal returns I shall make him a who might otherwise have failed to un- And then I bethought me of an old ducK' , " , . , , Tiie main body now hcmclessly out- little speech. I shall say that a f.,-w derstand bow we could both be so school trick-modified to suit present lUHT mimlx"r,mre up tbo re- days save.1 my life, and cbeerfn! and part as might seem in the cirenmstanee^ could olanie you for vwJA. . . H,. - hope of m rtm;r again. After putting1 on a spurt of a few "What then?" v) i ? i r_. , tr , as 1 desire to renoer tnc remainder of oour , jjC won't be (necuted," yards, 1 suddenly slackened my pace. "Well, a rumor got abroad that Mrae. lhe «• augiiter'had been frign.ful: yours as happy as possible, I am goit-g to ■ a } .. } j j jambon. th'nking 1 was spent., re- Bonaparto accompanied you to St.* 1 Jenis the parallels and ditcncs were filled ttndyoa c ;rood supper and twobotth, wilJ h. . , of L;;:ftto aJ, doal)U,, his efforts. When he was withon thofnigfat we left Paris. It read: ,1 ' Vvhr V,' all was over the prisoners were hi^Ith'will --Xr- : • We v.-;: I drink to your in arm's length of me, I stopped short, the general s ears, and he was fariou: y , f Q Bonaoarte's tent. , and hDs mouUi will h M. 1 ■ r." pi ante ! my feet f.rmly on the ground, jealous." He reco"Tii7cd me at once ' for. has been toe-poor fell- . s IC; u, . Dn(.r jr;ir!o than the and m-de a lack: like a boy playing at "Jealous of me? Eoy7» he ™tr°r' r T-oarati ,,s for,h- eap-frog. Longlogs flew over me. Yon know as well as I do that it w: s ., ,. , •• . then I will ask nim—since J cannot mj- , , . ,. .... . r f. ir  Mile. Carmine who went with me to St. saio, pjc.ving.j. \De have you s am. be present, having to be on duty in { v; t 're-i ,'a-s of i n-ek Pltchcd 00 h5s headD aTld fel1 all in a Denis." aB(l tacre are f'-'ohsh women to help the trcnch(.s to-nipht-to do the honors- ' " \ ' rC 'n ' KS of "a !««« heap. "I know You said so; but you w ill re- you to escape. You both deceived and ;;nd ,:ivc you a!1 lh.. indulgence in his J fther think his neck was broken, ■member that I had not the pleasure "of rae, M. Roy, and, w bat is power compatible with your safe-keep- . „ .... • iv t n-c sho-sld be ,t,Mn,t popping to give a second took, seeing the lady."- answered Wluse, ;vorse, you,chd not act liko a man of tog, and cat with you a little supper V0',{. » ran on, in the firm belief that Jambon with a half-skeptical, half-mischicvous u-!r,0.r- agreed to accept a com-. and arinlc with you a bottle of wine. , * .. , .., .,; Mi" supper win " ,d £ollow me n? moro' and that 1 smUe mission m our navy, and then c. caped He will.(lo it, of course. He would sell , At,rp'th' m™*r" 8houlC1 make my point Moreover, as I , "Do you doubt my word?" Tdcmanded, by breaking your parole." his soul to the devil for a bottle of wine K-ht and tolhe oould hear fn.m their exclamations, his antrrilv It is not true. Gen. Bonaparte. and think he had made an excellent ,• /- 'ni' checked his comrades somewhat, "Nbt in the least. But as you say "JV1l8t? You dare give me the he?" bargaia. one of the bottles will be ral s ffi-ea - a very dirty table- though I dare say it made them more that I knew your companion was Mile. knowlhS ® not o&w the other The ' .',e'.handled the' bottles as ten- °a:f^Vne"red^th° shT're the while still Carmine, it is necessary to point ont of a commission. Neither did I break Lafitte is for you. naturally, the ien-c 5f t!.(,y had bl en babies, and n,t,in" i LJ ,! S hLt that I was not in a position to know. my parole. I gave my parole not to ffr him: he will be quite content r.;iu ,r lia.r.-p. tfully as if they had '' V Ln -1 Unfortunately, the guard at tho Porte escape en route to Boulogne. * Ask La- !^a"d carf. J,ct been p :. r.' '• of divi'iom ' Then wo set IZ7 Tl WCap°nS- ,! St. Denis reported that on the night in du.se.'* *t- Don t touch the Medoc thongn lie (() -j-]-b ,t,tk-s were uncorked »olt pretty sure that ray pursuers would question M me. Bonaparte passed the "Lactase Is an idiot. If his record Vou have a delicate stomach. p. .V, t, f Lactase, thVn* U llow me &r into the sea. Nor barrier in her carriage; and Bonaparte had not been good, I would have had Lafitte agrees w uh you, l\.cr.oc u Dcs iV,n:: .,-,rtc. then himself. He S . Tl believed it, though M He Carmine was not. Do you begin to understand now, ., ., ,• v • • __ . . I hey brought to before they were kneebrought forward to prove the contrary." ,f my friend?" in h { a pinntcshid drunk it to anC* shouting and shooting "This is all malicious gossip. Lacluse. f?5 / "The Mcdoc wi]1 1Dc doctored." t . D"! V, ] pV:M ir- 1,ottle over at me' 1 dld not care much for either» Why, Mme. Bonaparte is old enough to \ M\ , "Precisely. The wine destinC-Cl f -r ?-L ' j , l" '; : the one beingas wild as the other; but be my mother." -1 • C\ \ /II Ie will be slightly sophist'.-.-t: .. j i 'M-e-er nirt of «« b«Het has sometimes a MBat, "You had better not let her hear you V\ . I shall put into it a quantity of land- C" his and 1 thought it just as well to turn on my sayso-" . ykCJ WfN anum, which I have alrqady obtain c-1 -y^jback and float. . •'And a good woman. She was kind- \ \ ffi \\ from oar regimental doctor for a neu- s„pp„r C:;r.t .,u-he Iras unde? the table. 1 he firing brought a couple of shots 'ness itself." . v* id, hf \ ralgic face-ache tliat makes my nights QiV 1- t w ,r.-K v • re- "I-I harem* ™ Kangaroo, whereupon tho "And vou are a nxcon with V i--, Vix -\ 1 fT£:/\ hideous; and very soon after the eor- ' ' ., ... 1 Frenchmen stopped their noise and anujou are a Dean gan.on, .l . yi vj, sgj - . j iinC'-:-rs on y Du. M. Roy. and if you slip , ... . r . fbrfcht eyes and rosy cheeks. Oh, I do ,/,$ T/ W poral lias drunk his wme ho will be so « m -eve m :v I iicver drink wine bnwrCH,-off' not question Mme. Bonaparte's gocKlness jD■■ K fast asleep that old Djczzar might cut It was an easy swim to the brig. I in the least; but when her husband is £&3W 71}. / D\ A off h!s hcad without wakening him. . ,/ . got abr.ard by swarming up the cable, absent she is often singularly indis- \ ' ' / '» / And then, without losing a minute— { .ta'-i' '.ii-i nnd time aud crept aft unperccived, where my -erect. And our most distinguished : f -CDyZ iii11 V\ here, take this dagger; it Ls double- anv'moiue^'Uiewn- suddcu appearance in so strange a general can be as jealous as a Turk. He j\ / " y~T1 { [J edged, and as sharp as a razor-without " D_ icr b'ly mi'dit look into must have looked like a drowned - says—apropos, of course, of your flight, ' T■ V'iA » 111 losing a minute, you will slash a hole "D V ' " rat) caused great consternation. My not of his jealousy—that if you fall into J \ ? * in the canvas of the tent and step out- C - t - t, i t. thir-g. I crew had heard that, I wias killed, and his hands again he will have you shot J*) fjs1 \j side. ... t- ' " 11 c at leevc: the watch, taking me for my own ghost, as a deserter; so I advise you to clear £r -tjJL kj' H * So far, i ne pian in ii-g. ruoa: eviromir ing t : an the scattered in all directions. But I soon before we take Acre." Id and feasibh—for" getting out. of the 4,; eivv 1,donned Car convinced tlie.m that I was still in the V "You are not going to take Acre," tent But how nm I to get into Acre? , s j • 1 bn-'d.M* on his f.w.ird body, and, after a stiff glass of grog to "I don't like to contradict the man ~ Thousand* of soldiers and a few miles -j . -, ;j, - . ; D lit in the tent and re- keep the cold out, turned in and slept who has just saved my life, but I should rr rrrnruzm kt at over ' of trenches bar the way. C• ni • S, --jig that tli-.' coast was the sleep of the just. , be sorry for you to cherish an illusion. mc BS006SZZED UK AT OKCE. on will not go_ by the trenc.es. ,, , , ,j R.,- . f-through the  We shall as certainly take Acre as him tried by court-martial for letting iouv.il! ma.;® straight for the -Dea- , ,, ;or ngor look- CHAPTER XIV. we took El Arisli, and Garza, and Jaffa you escape. Do you know that I pro- shore. 1 he road thither i3 comparative- j. ■ 1,: i,-, », • Ck: br; '. y tor the sea I stood with Djczzar on the ramparts Bonaparte has said so, and he lias never pose to. treat you as a deserter, M. ly desc-ced, and for a verj- good reason: It v s a i; . st ry ght nigii*.; not near- of Acre. On the night before, the outer yet failed'in any enterprise to which he lioy?" your ships are continually sweeping it ly s.j ( rlc us I w i:ld have likvd it fcobe. wall of the old tower had been shatias put his hand. He says-that though "From what ship did I desert, gen- with their gtins. You may meet a few 4 lanterlls were gloaming tered by the explosion of a mine. A he should be left with only four grena- eral?" soldiers or be challenged by a sentry; lD;. v on A re's- blood-stained walls; few boiirs nreviously tho French had diers and a corporal he will come in: "Yon went over to the enemy." but if you pnss on uucon--erncdly I a.v, t; -, ., ,.f Uic ships in the off- made two assaults in rapid succession, arid if he comesin you may be sure that "Your enemy, but my friends. You don't think they will trouble you. Can iu„ „ : bv an occasional flash both of which wore vigorously repulsed will stay " said just now that I broke my parole, you swim?' frem their gur;s. fired probably rather They were now hammering at the old "If he does' We shall see " In that case I did not desert I could "Till further orecrs." in the of -tnrbing the "enemy's tower with their batteries. Rent by "And now-Ah, I thought so. I havo not bo at the same time both prisoner "Well, then, a. suming that you .pass r , :,n ,.f damaging Hi* ir works, the explosion blackened . with powder, something more to tell you. You were of war an Aan officer in your navy. And the gauntlet, all you have to do is to whteh at that time of night it was im- dmt«l with shot, its rents patched with speaking just now of Mile. Carmine. \ warn -What if you do treat mo as a walk into the wate r and fewam to the .n . f, r , ,r f,ninnC r , to see. beams of wood and bags of sand and She is Carmine no " $ deserter theVe will be reprisals." nearest English ship—the one at anchor Thc,... ,,,1V a „ m1 manv soldiers wool, its aspect was grim, tragic and "You don't mean °" "Ecprisals! Talk to me of reprisals, opposite the fresh water lake." about, some sauntering and" smoking, truculent, like that of some herculean "Your departure nearly broke her *vhen V™ Turkish allies decapitate my "The Kangaroo! I do believe that othor8. hl ... t() . talking and laugh- gladiator covered with wounds yet heart; so, to console lienilf, she mar- «n- parade their heaus as I shall sleep ,n my c«ra state-room to- ir ;r. Sl.VCTa} „f tl, m were coatless, fighting to the death. The reeking Tied her sergeant- Victor, isn't his trophi-s! It is rather for us to talk of night, after a.L If I do. I wall o«-o and nearly all shoeless, for thc French debris which filled the ditch at its foot _ayT~ w c?n#.o ffnt im 1reprisals.- you my life; ami if J don U I sball be was red with blood and strewn with *«rD i l'1 ? 1 i m U " "I am not a Turk, and wc do all we just as much obliged to you as if I did." / I thc headless bodies of the storming ° * can—" J "It i, one good'turn tor another. You fn.j { party wlio led the last assault , .0 )D... D. 1 in■ "Silence! I decline to bandy words saved my life." j During the month which had elapsed "Looks are deceptive sometimes, M. with one who has disgraced the noble "With very little trouble, and at no • • ' / since my capture and escape tho siege le Chef de Bataillon. Yes, I am glad to profes on of arms. Take him away, risk to myself. 1 hope this won't get V* ' | had continued with varying iortunes. ,think Julia is happily married. She is D rgear.t. Keep him apart from the you into trouble, Lacluse." "7;._ D r, . ,. jf j\ ' f\| It was Bonaparte's policy to give us no is a dear, good girl." other pris.:Dnors; and be sure you don't "How can it? I send'a bottle of wine ' , }' ' j! ( rest. But in 1'helippeaux, the eom' "Ma foi. M. lioy,.it seems to mc that let liirn eseape." _ to a prisoner of war, who was my guect v ■'%* madore, and Djezzar he found foemen all women with whom you find favor On this I was mar -oed oiT to a tent . _ , ? . , T , worthy of his steeL In one sally alone are good." . between two soldiers with &ced bay- CV- 'C * i\'V / the pasha lost five hundred of his Mau"Naturallj*. IIavo you anything else °net., one of whom stood on guard ' ' '• ; 1 / grabins, and more than half of his to tell me?" without, while the other (a cotporal) w f(-r 'fh' , t PJ sD brave Albanians had perished. Yet, on "Only that I advise you to give heed sat wit.i me inside. By way of keeping „nu. eCl to w'inc, t: too iiiiich ' / if " ,'/ tho whole, the advantage was with us. ,to'my warning and get out of Acre be- up my spirits, I was told t.iat if I maxfe f ; . . , -"■Cfiky ./C ' ;• / //'f The French were getting short of amlore Bonaparte gets in." any attempt to leave the tent I should Jouid notdo £-1 ?*'s \ / /i munition; and, though their engineers . "Of course I shall—unless I remain be piY.-np-.y .saot or bayoneted at the the jj hVbad the- hanec " \£ "-V- \ ' I /$•"■ 'y displayed great ingenuity, Phelippeaux here all my lifo-for he never will get D£ v w-is by no "Neverthe'o- s I should be sorry for displayed more. He began to take the in, except as a prisoner. ax nrsi my usitu gnarman was uy n D h. f i,« - - / \ offensive, pushing forward works which Lacluse said no more; but liis look of Pearia 1 could not get a word "4 / y* . \ ' ' '' e * were.like to take Bonaparte's batteries pained surprise-as if I had spoken out' Df The was the ( reverse and force him to abandon tho rank blasphemy was mwro eloquent tent Vv.y w ..r.n, ana b_ evuk.ntty -did |c,e h5 / dare sav- Bnt soldiers siege. than words. For my remark implie 1 1 -■ ' - J ; a. .ule be nr C n4 toC) -i- -o v •' 1 tnl;EW orr mv coat. To prevent this consummation the that I thought it within the bounds of un :nid tr.r forrot lira rc,.-.D as to r1 'j \D • j nnrv ..... - f 1U, i 4 f French made night attacks, which were possibility for Bonapart-o to be beaten ar--«ver a 'its- on, and eventually lie . .' _' - ' " ' J j ' . "*t ftt. always repulsed with much heavier loss and a French armv to canitula»e becume ftlnie t confidential. Like hl nj D-ow for our htt.e comedy. ™Pl» ! •• I took care not to attract •D » ourselves ana a f rencii army tocapitma.c -ery iu the arm- be v - "So you have stretched your legs, lhe a"mtion of these loiterers by any to the entmy tlian to ourselves. L °" .-. • „n',r-ntardtli- I t corporal. Half an hoar, exactly. Punc- app-::-.:, f hum-; and, seeing that And then the luck turned for a time again. I took Lacluse to my ;; ■ ■' - »■ .... pt ai. . the i a-t ...id a virt„,.,, econd orJ 'to one n.m s-emed to be eyeing me rather Col-Phelippeaux died of exposure and a few days later got him exchanged . .t ;; . . am. 0?(, , surrender my ,-ha'rge. There- su ni. .- ly, I went holdiy up to him and the French received sevfw an-English major of marines w he ■ I ada-. rD spontfibi)Uy the prisoners safe-keep- ami 'red leave to light 'a cigar from eral pieces of heavy artillery from Jaffa waS.pf much more use to us than a y ■■ , '• ' , ing now rc.--.ts with vou Is it not so?" his.i.' ■ and powder from Gaza. The upper part French chef de bataillon. I did not AI-'! hi-ip 1 saw Uttlo cuanee es- r.p f , , ,rj * . rtnirn-mni of the tower was demolished, and a ,. , _ —I . . " 1 er.c :tiy. mon enei. i know my I he ruse succecded; lie politely grant- , . , . ., . .' concern myself much about Bonaparte * ' ' . , , • ,, „ ,. , . breach made in the curtain wide • , - im * i [*]j•; ». (•••[]jrjft w**ls to mv tti-'i 1 i.i» o.(..»r.-., i i iy cd m, rc- jucht, and ciskcd no qucs** , , . /»C•* , jealousy. It was incredible. As Lr- -,jr- UaS in f r m.v , . 4,1. ,v 1. enough, to admit fifty men march-1 i .1 • »- a 1 ,,f tont orueis o to vs an eye on !nra nons. . , . *..1 1 » was no longer abont the general s ebjo.,i i.ionn,. • •D inrr abreast. \»e began to look , ' . x , , , . -• •» v. - it,.\ m »n rhrf" ' 1 t" CD an'1 *e * • re tJMt he not mip j na ! reaeli-eCl a point, as 1 reckoned, . . . A 5 TI , person, he must have heard the story at u" 1 m,n C • 1 11 f«t . ,• .... . , - .. . *. .. . ., * anxiously for the lleet of Hassan bey , t i 1 i • i * if'' • w 1 • •»»DC.. ■ tliioiKra m, tin., ''is. .■•iVCvi? .s.0.1 .mm nlD tit a mile and a half the sea- , . , , . J eecond hand, and second-lmnd stories n* u 1 1 , , , . ? :r 1 , . . . . .. . « T with the long-expeeted and long-prom"I w 51 }) - nr .wor ( o nm' —the eye of Corporal ( art ,Dw: ie; and if «h Dre, and was bi tothmk I was , , . - ® %. 4 rr , . Jv are generally first-class lies. » ' f v._ ,.... r... _ , 4 .. _, , . , , , ised reinforcements of 1 urkish troops; I thought a good deal more about " tor au honr. , »r- • -nrtJcul out;,f the wo.,1 w-hen I heard shouts forof 1)j(,zzar-3 own troops there re- Carmine. I was of 'course, de- I 4 v*; 1 acare of tit * prison- *'t . r,, . . r i»n- Dr nnA r(.,/nm. i . - ' ' "1' 'inu)n us , rema| only a few hundreds, and lighted to know that she was married— fDr- nWu*-\r\* hiVV c()' mV mi v 1 r ' . , 1 .V i i-i t brave as these were and desperately a* r 1 . 1 % .1 1*1 * iTi , 44It Cot * •) pr f ■ in I ctci' piiit'.. ilii.i- so iib.Durd. 1 cDu may • I g n f"i at ihic",' what had happened. .1 C• -14. j* ... „ : • 1 1 * , 1 -as I hoped happily—but 1 siiould have t,f 1 in r^P(1 1 Im they fought, it was impossible for them , *, , ' J , , , , mnn nni " cni i t • r hico ,n IRaaC iour miafl easj on tiiat score, i The f .trv, or perhaps an officer cro- „ - ? , been all thc better pleased if she had mon ami, . ai,i luse, ». n tac cor i,n T u ' i 1 i 1 • ♦ Ti to withstand many more assaults, even hot forgotten me quite-40 soon. «mil was gone. don t know whetner you are aware of it, n.c.nds had looked into the with a)1 tUe ht.lp £e could give them. "Whath e rne.'"« , /! ffl \ tent o, ,,VCrcd my flight and given .-Can you see anything?" asked Djez. CHAPTER XIII. 'Ihe caui -e C f rcco".! ' ♦ t- / (':/'/ J 4 1' ' . ,, ., . , , zar. as I swept the horizon with my As tho siege went on it took more and service you rendered m-o ts-e Other day. ,t 1 y WhatWUS I to doi Aoouta hundred more the character of a fight for the 1 m. -n ■■ • : - re your li' if I /■/»i C'J « A i "'ir • aheal or-me half a dozen soldierr "Yes; a sail." tower, a duel between I Jonaparte and ".Sav. my I iVou r-.urely don't Y'j /■ ' • *7' ;'•» were- .::g round a bivouac fire, and, "Only cine?" Phelippeaux; and. thc two men hViug nr.-. I : :■ ■ ■ • 1' . .. 1 .Mb, n' .' 3n':' ' ■ "'i the savory smell "Only one. Ah! there is another; and brilliant soldiers, personal enemies, and he threat ; d to treat J.-e- as a desert- y f ( 'A v ' 1 w -borne f-n the hreeze, cCX)king now—1 can count four." the representatives of opposing prin- cr?w . # /, ji \ \f f J.\ . v ■ jA tl»eir supper. If I ran i hnr suspicions 44What do they look like?" ciples, it was an exciting contest. Bon- **»So serious that he has on!rrod you to i tDi \ A J fa woultl be roused and 1 *iey might try to «»p rom their rig, I should say tliej-are n-parte was energy incarnate. Tlfe be shot t-D-m"--row morning.". / . \/J*$ inters pt ine; if I did not my pursuers Turkish." thought that a tumble-town Syrian "But be dare not. It would C••.• a vi- jfgjt* 4 * would oTertflSce me. . Their numbers increased every mintown and a medieval • tower were keep- ola' i .1 of all the 11 of clviiized / v is \ (y. I . n'"c eireum -tances I deCiil'-d to Soon I could count a dozen, then ing him and his army at bay. and might warfare." #//. . -. Xjr&y IT'WTa k I mere:. ■ my pace to a fast walk, and as twenty, then thirty ships, all making thwart the most daring and romantic "Dare! He will dare anything when I / / S iS M \ soon as 1 got abreast of tho bivouac for Acre. scheme of conquest which he had ever his temper i.-. up. What is a ' inaie life '/' V I \l/ I {C3 D 8 break into a run. The Ottoman beyond a doubt, conceived, made him wild with rage, to a ma:i li 1 ■ ? him? What are a tl Du- -x 'f &■ / j / . Meanwhile th" r.libuts were growing The town w;is all joy and excitement, lie would take Acre; he stormed and Kind? flow many have bcC n • •- - *£*■■/■■' \ \ j ■ J PV ' h'udcr, and before I reached the and the blue-jackets and marines, both » railed against Acre. One aaaault was riGeed in this in fine expedition? We f \ ff'! ti •* bivouac (frtim which I i-ogod away as far ashore and afloat, gave a hearty cheer, no sooner repulsed than he ordered are beginning to doubt, now, whether ft 'i l"k 'I \ 1 j 1 ! a*. *';e nature oi thDD ground would per- "It is all over," said Col. Douglas, another. If he had been-able to create Acre will b - taken, aft-r all. And if tD /' /i N—* /.«1 lf.\ mit) tho soldiers were all on toe qui vrho had succeeded 1'helippeaux as enfresh battalions with a stamp of his not, what is to becomo of the army? Ns . Tivo- . gineer-in chief. foot, he could not have sierilicod his How are wo to pet back to France? vs liny ere ■, when they With any other general it might havo soldiers more lavishly. Richer called These are the questions we are con tin- ~ 't s: at of 2t:e. \ilir.t is tjns/ been all over; but, instead of abandonhim a "general of ten thousand men a ually asking each other. But Bona- tue conrOKAi. ENT.ArTt-RED. What lias happened?' Ing the contest because he was goingto week." parte dominates us all s-» completely corporal, but I am under a great obli- ' ■ ' ]) h" ' Stop him. r-houtcd tne i,0 0verni:\tched, Ilonaparte made a su- But that we keep our doubts to ourselves gation to tins gentleman. When I was r' : behind r«. preme efTrfj-t to take the place before The foe. Invulnerable still, and go on pouring out our blood for taken hist week he prevented tho Turks VV hat has 1 appi • -repeated thc the reinforcements could disembark. Foiled bis wild by stenrty s:-.i!i. him like water." from slicing off my head, and after- fioldi . Tho besiegers'batteries were worked Phehppt-aur, cool, cautious, vigilant "Voa are bitter, Lacluse." wards got me exchanged. Itisaserv- I,merely 1 inted r!.. . d, as if I were wltli frantic energy, and a column of and intrepid, and loyally supported by "I have reason to be. Did he not de- Ice .that merits recognition." following! nv Im- raid hurried on. attack was formed by Bonaparte in the commodore and the pardia, ncrcr prado me from my rank for a trivial "Undoubtedly, mon chef—warm*roe- ' l!l"' : . ' ' '' ' , ' ive m(! ,l 'person, whom we could plainly see on allowed himself to be taken rt ad- faulty, mere error of judgment? My o~r.ition." few s . s; and if the lire had Cteur-de-Lion'smount, giving his orders ▼actage, and m.-t every one of hLs ail- services entitle me to a colonelcy at "Sol am going to send himalittle JU:" 'thre.-.n e,D .1 n-iealing and haranguing his men. Inthomean▼e|-sary s moves by some fresh cspe- e ieasti an(] j am stiH what I was supper from my quarters and two bot- ' ' m '' V1" '-1' I'-e-t. time, Sir Sidney, fully alive to the As fast as the breach was when we landed in Egypt, a mere chef ties of wine." The ■ : 'Hm 1 toone another dani?«m»yrn'aled for every blue-jacket And then I hear footsteps, and voices whispering. And I know that I om not a prisoner; for the whisperers are English."IIow does he seem this morning'. Mrs. Bruce?" says one of them. I recognize the voice; it is that of Blake, the Kangaroo's surgeon. "Blake! Blake, where am I?" I ask, I still believe that there could have been no harm in leaving the Royal gorge open on Sunday. it" "Certa,inly, if you like and can afford Therefore we must stimulate our sons to industry by some other means than the hope of being president. I would honestly rather speak in public on the stage at a mere pittance, yet knowing that I wag doing good and earning $750 per week for it, than to be president of the United States with cockroaches in the east room and red ants in the cabinet. "Both before marriage and after it?" "Both before and after." "And friends also make marriage presents to the bride?" "If they please." fSZL-* J£ J feebly "Good! Good! You speak; you have recovered consciousness; you are better; you will recover," says the doctor, coming near and speaking louder. "But where am I?" "In Djezzar's palace." A Remarkable Woraan. "It is not considered indelicate?" "Not a bit." Mr. Toodles (with sarcasm)—You say you thought you'd find a burglar under the bed in your room. Well, it's not remarkable for you to liave that thought. Mrs. Toodles—Oh, but it is. I  Mr. Toodles —Heavens! You found one? "Gems, jewels, diamonds, fine clothes, I suppose?" "But what means this darkness, and ■why am I bound?" "Well, I rather think they like to get their fine clothes for themselves." "Diamonds, then?" Speaking of these household pets, let me say that I never heard of a better illustration of feminine character than the other day up at Laramie. A young man whose sister is visiting hinr came home the other night and was "seared out of his wits by finding her at midnight in her niglitrobe prowling around the outside of the kitchen with a cocked revolver waiting for a burglar to come out at the back door. Sure enough, he soon came out and was captured by the two and the revolver. He was sent over to the jail, and then the brother asked why this slender young lady in her nightclothes had gone around outside the/kitclien. "Why didn't you go in by the inside door?" her brother asked her. "You are not bound, though I'dare say you feel as if you were. One of your arms is in splints; it was broken. One of your legs was badly lacerated, your whole body severely contused, and you got a bad concussion of the brain. When I first saw you I thought you were as dead as a herring. You have been unconscious a fortnight." "A fortnight! It 6oems only a few minutes. But won't you light a lamp?" •'There is no need; it is daylight. But your eyes were badly hurt in the explosion; so I had to bandage them and darken the room." "I have had very little experience in such things, pasha, but I fancy diamonds would do. Yes, diamonds by all Mrs. Toodles (triumphant)—I didn't look.—Chicago News-Record. means." He Eseapetl. The next time Djezzar came to see me he brought with him a casket which, judging from the feel of it (my eyes being still bandaged), was of metal, probably silver. "Sir?" questioned an irate female shopper as she pounced upon a small man who was pacing the store, "are you the floorwalker?" "N-n-no, ma'am," he gasped, "I—I'm o-o-only the p-p-proprietor."—Detroit Free Press. "This," he said, as lie put it into my hands, "is a present for your futuro wife. Tell her that it is from an old man whose life you once saved, and who loves you as his own son." The day after (the doetor having1 pronounced me fit to be removed) 1 was taken on board the Kangaroo, and we set sail for England. There were tears in Djezzar'seyes as he bade me farewell; he kissed me with great affection on both cheeks, and gave me as a souvenir a fine Damascus sword, the hilt of which was set with precious stones, a weapon which was reputed to have belonged to Sultan Saladin. [to be continued.] Customer (at restaurant)—Bring mc a piece of sticking plaster, please. Waiter—Cut your finger, boss? Customer—No. This steak is bleeding badly.—Cleveland Plain Dealer. A Cood Samaritan. "My God, Blake! you surely don't mean that I am blind?" "No, I don't think you are blind. But when the eyes are Injured it is necessary to be very careful. I will take the bandage off just for a second. Draw the curtains a little closer, please, Mrs. Bruce. There! Can you see?" "Yes; a pi earn of light, and a shadowy form, and—" "Why," she said, "you don't know so much as I thought you did. There are mice in the kitchen." Speaking of the rat. the mouse and the cat, we have been told for 18 years that cats cannot live at Leadville owing' to the rarefied air which increases the heart's .action and finally affects the brain, resulting in one of the most horrible of deaths. The death of a cat brought to Leadville has always Iteen regarded by eastern }Deople as one of the saddest sights to be seen. Lazy, "I wish I was a twin," said Bobbie, "Why?" asked his father. "Then I could see how I looked without a looking glass," said Bobbie.—Har- Harper's Young People. "Tliat is enough," replacing the bandage. "You are not blind. But you must not use your eyes for some time; and I doubt whether you will ever recover your old keenness of vision." "Thank God!" I murmured, for the assurance that I should not be blind was so great a relief that I felt disposed to be thankful for small mercies. "How did it happen? and whathas happened since?" Well Posted. ' "Jaggs is a well posted man, What paper does he take?" "His nearest neighbor's. ter Ocean. Loved a Rat. Prison Missionary—Ah, 3-011 have a pet, I see. I inquired a good deal while there regarding this latter and found that the c at does live ufcLeadville, and in private houses many of them are as happy and well as elsewhere. "But there .are no rats," said my informant. "We have mice, hut no rats." Convict—Yes, this rat. I feeds him every day. I think moreo' that rat than any other livin creature. '—Chicago In- Missionary—All, in every man there's something of the angel left, if one can only find it. How came you to take such a fancy to that rat? A Worrying Thought. Little Boy—Please, sir, give me a calendar."How it happened is not quite clear. You were close to an old mosque in which several thousand cartridges were stored, and where some French soldiers had taken refuge. The cartridges exploded—how, there is no evidence to show—the mosque was shattered, several Turks and two of your Kangaroos were killed, and you and several more wounded." That evening at the theater a large boy rat came into my dressing room and ate a cake of soap while I was dressing. Cats, it is said, cannot live at the top of Pike's peak. Possibly they cannot. Neither t an anything else. Speakers and singers experience great difficulty at both Aspen anil Leadville on account of the liyperclimatic conditions there. _ They gasp and become giddy, and sometimes unconsciousness follows. Merchant—We don't give calendars to children. i sail Convict—Ho bit th' York Weekly. keeper.—New "Oh, because children haven't any use for them." "W'y not'/' Witty to the I-ast. "Tkat's all you know. I've got use for one right now, an I Want it bad. ' I've laid awake three nights a worryin." A forlorn Irishman, reduced to the last stage of poverty and destitution, as a Ast resource made inquiry at a marine ft ore as follows: "Humph! What is it you want to know?" "It was all the fault of thrtse brutal, bloodthirsty Turks. One of them—it is some satisfaction to think that I killed the scoundrel—shot down one of the Frenchmen after they had asked for quarter and I had promised them their lives; and th -n the others in their rage and despair fired the cartridges." ' "DDo you buy rags and lxmes here?" "Yes," was the reply. "I Taut to iind put L6\v many mora Cliri Onuses is goin to be spoilt-il by vcmia w .Sunday."—Good News. "Then, be jabbers," said Pat, "ye may put me on the scales."—Spare Moments. Dr. Dugan was once in the audience when it was suddenly discovered that the queen of the ballet had Income unconscious in her undressing room. He was summoned. Around him lie found 20 or more danseuses ready to faint and clustered about the head of the ballet, who lay gasping in her rich penwiper costume. He looked at her a moment, as the physician might have done 80 years ago when he told the mother it was a girl. Then he called for a bucket of water, and in a moment life and health returned to all the dancers. They were real well and glad to go on with their A Conservative. "So you are opposed to the rta's. r.islversities. eh?" Horse Dealer—Ho is worth every cent of fcSOO. Ho is a fine healthy animal, sir. A Healthy Horse, "That is very likely, I think. I am glad you killed the fellow. As for what has happened since—well, to begin with, the French have thrown up the sponge." "Yes," said Mr. Way back. "lam. This hero thing of payin out good state noney to eddicate a lotV dudes no's they will be smart enough some dav to beat my boys out en ifceir farms alter I am gone don't agree with my notion of things at all."—Indianapolis Journal. ' Mr. Would Be Purchaser (examining the animal's teeth)—Yes, there is no doubt about his being healthy. If lie wasn't healthy he never could have lived to such tin old age.—Texas Sittings. "Are they gone?" ••They are. For the first time in his life, Boney hns had to order a retreat. The attempt to take Acre has cost him dear. He has lost eight generals, eighty of his best officers and upwards of three thousand private soldiers, and he is followed by a foe from whom escape is impossible—the plague. His line of march is strewn with the corpses of its victims. Sir Sidney is off to Jaffa, Got Along Very Well, Purely Ornamental Question*. Shopping Woman—Have you any «Uk» at $5 a yard? ' Clerk—Y essum. Mr. Green (who has been listening to Mr. Brown's account of a trip around the coast)—And how did you like it, Mrs. work, Brown? The dress of premier danseuse often costs thousands of dollar', but is more fitted for a house dress than anything else. It would be a poor costtime to use in climbing Pike's peak. Shopping Woman—And any others at $3 a yard? Mrs. Brown—Well, I didn't see much of the scenery, but the cabin was very comfortable and the Stewardess a most sympathetic woman.—Pick Me Up. Cleric —Yessum. sup] ties id t Shopping.Woman—Well, 1 wir.t «oco* at $4.50,—Chicago News-Record. "I 1 mother In 186b an avalanche came down the tof'/f-T;