Pittston Gazette

              IgPf EKTAIM.1S»IIKID 18511. ' VOL. XI.III. NO. I 7. ( Oldest Newspaper in the Wyoming Valley. PITTSTOX, LUZE INK CO., PA., FRIDAY, DECEMBER 30, 1892. A Weekly Local and Family Journal. 1 #1.50 VKH ANNUM ° i JX ADVASCK BY THE FIRELIGHT. cheeked girl. "Will you wait for me, Nancy?" he had said. "I'll come back and marry you some day." Idle words, containing more of feeling than resolve. He had long forgotten, till the firelight reflected upon her face flashed into • dark corner of his brain, and it had all come back to him. He could say nothing, and she began to tell him of the long, weary years she had waited. She had no misgivings; among her own people she was accounted a simple creature. She knew nothing of the gulf separating her from her old sweetheart. He had not married, and he had come back aa he said he would; that was enough for her. He listened, pained but fascinated. Her speech, nneouth as it was, still had gowertm'i; of dignity in its old English form. He had not the heart to wound her with the truth. Most men would have thought snch cruelty the truest kindness; a finer sense restrained him. Perhaps experience had taught him that a forlorn hope may be dearer than attainment. He realized that an illusion which has been growing up in a woman's heart for twenty years cannot be shat. tered at a blow without crushing the woman. It* Meaning. TWO WAYS OF WOOING The two rowed on in silence until the sound of Mr. Dunn's creaking steps had died away, then Beall broke the silence by an ineffectual offer to change his seat to the stern. INTERVIEWED JAY GOULD. time m a place where tlie piano was twelve feet tall, the doorknobs at an impossible height, and the mantel shelf in the sky; where every mortal thing was out of reach, except a collection of highly interesting objects on dressing tables and bureaus, guarded, however, by giants and giantesses three times as large and powerful as ourselves, forever saying "mustn't touch," and if we did touch we should be spanked, and have no other method of revenge save to spank back symbolically on the inoffensive persons of our dolls? TRAVELER BIEE Fi. with vast barns ana overflowing oomcribs, cheery white cottages with porches and bay windows, and driving spirited horses on the well made turnpike or macadamized road—with some of the mountain people of east Tennessee, West Virginia and western North Carolina. "What are you going to call your new paper?" asked the friend who had dropped in to see the aspiring young journalist. It was evening. From where the sun had set rose a red glow melting softly into the cold, bine* gray sky. The sky tint, but colder, blner, harder in tone, was repeated in the line of mountains stretching away to the south. Among the shifting heaps of fallen leaves shone gleams of color, bnt the moss had tnrned to brown, and in the cold, windy evening the lately denuded trees seemed to ahiver. Stoop and pick up a handfif) of shells from that broad jiath which you have been mistakenly regarding as a gravel walk. If you are one of the learned ones of the earth those small inollusks may teach you that yon are near the shores of the Gulf of Mexico, and, for aught that I know of such matters, may inform you that you are on the coast of the state of Mississippi. Bow the Railway Magnate Foaled m Col- lection of Chicago Reporter*. "The Palladium," was the reply Jay Gould arrived at the Grand Pacific hotel in Chicago one Sunday afternoon in the autnmn of 1882. It was one of his regular tours of inspection across the continent, and on this occasion he was in a particularly good humor. HE TELLS ABOUT SOME THINGS HE "That's a good name for a r~CVHpaper. By the way, what is the meaning of the word?' "This seat, is far enough aft to balance the boat," said Alice, with unconscious technicality. "And you may upset her moving about. We don't want any more accidents. I am sorry Mr. Dunn fell over," she added, after a slight pause. If she smiled her face was tnrned away from Beall and he could not see its expression. "I like him very much," she •on tinned. SAW ON THE ROAD. "It means- 'nam—it means—why, you know »~hat a palladium is, don't you?" A New and Wonderful Feature of tlu World*# Fair—Meeting a Venerable Max I know a man in the mountains of east Tennessee, and he is not so different from others there except in the matter of simplicity in architectnre. When he married he was fired with ambition to have a home. He fonnd a big elm that had broken off twenty feet from the ground and fallen nearly down, but still clinging to the stump at one end and with its top resting on another. He went to work aud split out chestnut slabs long enough to make a leanto, and there he has lived, he and his wife, and nine children have been born there. "No. I'm asking for information." A small horde of railroad reporters was gathered in the corridor awaiting bis com ing, and when be entered and saw them a merry twinkle came in bis eye, and with an expression that almost approached a smile be said cheerily, "Well, boys, are you waiting to see mef" The reply came in a cbo rus of "yeses." I was a member of that small horde and was pushed forward to act as spokesman. In Ironi and Ilia Sad Story—A Talc o. "Well, that's a good one on you! Lived in a civilized community all your life and pretend you don't know what a palladium is!" the Tenneyee Mountains. [Copyright, 1892, by Edgar W. Nye.] The managers of the World's fair tell me that there will be many new and wonderful features aside from the dis play of art, manufactures and machin cry. The arrangements are made bj which the new Siamese twins, Radica and Doddica, will appear there. These twins are in fact more astonishing thaD Chang and Eng, who lived for som* years in North Carolina and were seen by the entire civilized world. A woman came out of a pasture with • pail of milk in her hand. A slight wisp of a creature, her cotton gown hnng limply about her thin form. She cowered as the wind struck her and coughed painfully, yet she lin!fcD~-'' was too muqh a. of nature toexjnai !i how the autumn days made her feel both forlorn and expectaut, and yet was perhaps the more affected by the moods of the great mother not attempting to translate them into human needs. The clatter of hoofs made her turn slowly. Qne glance and her heart gave a leap, sending the warm color to her cheek. By the time the horseman had reached her the color was gone. Now, if you add the pursuit of litera.ture to that of science, look well around you; for here that most valuable literary raw material, local color of the southern type, has been most lavishly poured out. Here are magnolias, oleanders and all other southern trees and shrubs. There, in that arch of confederate jasmine, two mocking birds have their habitat. They have been fighting since daybreak with every living thing that has approached them; but you need not put that in your article. My little nephew was prowling about my sitting room during the absence of his nurse. I was busy writing, and when he took up a delicate pearl opera glass I stopped his investigations with the time honored: "I'm in earnest. What is it?' "Why, a palladium is—Great Cssar! Look at that dog fight!" "So do I," said Beall, with bitter, youthful irony. "I like his high ideals, ard his modest trnthfnlness, and his culture—don't yon?" "Saved!" howled the young journalist, pouncing on the dictionary the instant the door closed on his visitor's retreating form.—Chicago Tribune. "He is my guest," responded Alice coldly. There was a flurry in railroad circles at that time, and many stockholders feared that Gould's tour through the west meant more than appeared on its face. I told Mr. Gould of this feeling and urged him to give the newspaper men an Interview on the general railroad situation. The twiukle in bis eye became more perceptible than when he first entered. "No, no, dear; that's for grown up peo- Beall might have replied that, considering the recent occurrence, her ideas of hospitality were extremely recent and a trifle suspicious. But having no absolute proof of the cause of that happy accident he refrained, and simply asked: "He has another claim to your consideration, hasn't he?" pie." Consider that, you gentlemen who swear if the water -is a degree too cold to shave with in the morning, or if the children kijock a "dent" in your English brass bedstead with a toy flatiron. "Hasn't it got any little boy end?" he asked wistfully. A Distinguished Family. Not Outdone In Generosity. A week or two since a mat! with a government office b. Sanaome street a checkbook tain bank. On examinati' ered it was worth $5,000, sent it by a friend to th6 return received a inessap round." His time not beir was impossible to answer for several duvs. Finally being in the latest fashioi received by, "Well, wha Behind you is a broad galleried, deep roofed mansion of the most approved antebellum architecture, and before you is the bluest water in the world—crede me experto who have seen t he Adriatic and the Caribbean seas. Its beauty is marred by long dilapidated piers, but you will not complain of them when the mosquitoes swarm in from the Louisiana marshes and drive you out into the sea breeze. . connected * ere found Recently the tired wife sickened and died in this barbaric lair. With the rain and the sleet by day beating in upon her and the frost of night settling down on the aged ..quilt she groaned the long hoars away till her worn and weary hands lay idly outside the old calico wreck of covering. For fifteen years they had lived there through the soft, delicious spring, the quiet summer and the gorgeous autumn gay with a thousand tints. Then somehow they had shivered through the short winter, and the hound and gun had kept them alive. "Well," he said contemplatively, "if you will wait until I make a abort toilet 1 will come down and see you." ■»' ~D. I thought there was something ominous in that unwonted twinkle in his eye, and the older men in that group of reporters were astounded. They had never seen Jay Gould iu such a complaisant*mood before, although tbey bad seen him scores of times. Mr. Gould came down stairs on schedule time and headed the procession to a reception room in which there was a long table. Mr. Gould took the head of the table, and the reporters surrounded the other three sides. "Poor child," he said tenderly; she had been telling him of her loneliness. Alice disdained equivocation. "I suppose," she said, "you mean to ask whether the report of my engagement to him is true." "Good evening. Does Uncle Billy Grimes live hero?" "Yes. -tr." "Bnt you're here now, Chris." She drew nearer him and laid ber cheek against his arm with simple, childlike confidence. He started slightly. It seemed wrong to touch her, and yet if he put her away from him he would have to tell her why. Beall briefly assented. "Do yoa suppose he would be willing to put me op tonight?" "And by what right?" Bhe asked. "I reckon. 'Light an I'll take your "1 had the right £Dnce," he said sadly. "Suppose we do not talk about what you once had," said Alice. "You didn't seem to care much about it then." nag." The gentleman hesitated as if his gallantry would not permit him to allow a -woman to put up his horse, but, seeming to think better of it, thanked her, and taking his saddlebags, turned toward the house. From where yon stand you can see through the great hall of the honse, quite through to where the pine forest stands out against the sky. It was not many months ago that a party of three —1C) me at that time a most interesting party—made that hall their assembly room and temple for their household gods. Indeed, it was often their battleground, for in the long leisure of summer days the coating of conventionality ill talk wears rather thin, and behind tliat coating are often concealed the moat startling beliefs in iDersons of  most unimpeached respectability.  such times the sole male member of tjsr~ trio was apt to begin thedincuseion wifJi emooth appeals to experience, policy BB4 knowledge of the world, which happened to be his particular divinities, and like other priests of Baal, he some times appealed long, loudly and in vain. "I came in response to a "This is an evening out of the old time, Nancy. You and I are a girl and boy again, do you understand?" he said putting his arm about her waist. This startling perversion of the facts bewildered Beall too much for any attempt at defense. He could only ask once more for an answer to his question. that checkbook." Stranger iu Town—Sis, why dont yon get your hair cut? "Oh-h-h, you're the m Well, we're much oblisr quarter; go take a drink.' Now the sad faced man—not especially more so than ever, for these mountain folk are born with the saddest, gravest, most immovable faces on earth—started away for the nearest mill, "and there," said the proprietor to me, "he bought sixty cents' worth of 'culls' to make a coffin for her." You can see him, dumb with that strange grief that cannot express itself or even weep, making a rongh and pathetic looking box of culled lumber in which to put his wife. '•Now then, boys, when you're ready crack away," said the magnate in a tone of voice that was as hearty as though he were really a good fellow. Then followed a fusillade of questions that would have staggered and confused any man but Jay Gould. The questions were find in solid aud scattering volleys, bat not one missed the keen ear of Gould, and the answers came bnck as rapidly as the questions were asked, and each answer was unerringly di rected to the man who had asked it. "Yes," she said, with a happy little laugh. Sis—'Cause when I get a little older rm goin to be a Circassian beauty. Father is the fan lipped buzzard, and mother is the Snmatrian cork chewer, and I've got a sister what can awaller terbacker an tie her ear into a true lover's knot.—Life. "Aud if I told you," said Alice, "I suppose yoa would do as you did on a similar occasion once before—threaten to do something desperate, aud then not do it. And I should be so disappointed." Our discoverer took one Mr. Clerk. Thten he dc his trousers pocket, brouj, dollars in silver, and selecting a new quarter laid it before the gaping gentleman behind the counter with, "Here, you go and take a drink too!" At the door he was met by an old woman, who, learning his wish, cordially made him welcome, offering him a seat by the side of the hearth, on which a great lire was burning. He tilted back an the short legged chair with the feeling of warmth and well being which follow a long, cold ride, and soon found himself gently slipping into the mood be had been trying all day to cultivate. This had been his home, and after half a lifetime spent away he had returned to the land of his childhood only to find the Carolina mountains less grand than Soon he disengaged himself and arose, saying that he was tired and would likDj to go to bed. She went with him to his room, and before leaving him lifted helips for a kiss. Again he hesitated, and stooping kissed her forehead. He went to bed, but not to sleep. The sense of the irreparable wrong he had done this girl burned into his heart, tender wttL its own pain. Wild thoughts of self immolation occurred to him, only to be checked by the conviction of its hope lessness. She would not be less lonely with him. They were utter strangers, for how little of the boy she had loved was left in the man, and how lost she would be in the world where he lived! Beall took this rather aggravating remark rather good naturedly. "No; I've learned something since then," he said. to know abontthia simply because; if you are not engaged to Mr. Dunn I have an important piece of news to tellyou." Radica and Doddica are girls, and are connected by a sort of bony structure at the chest, and below this there is a visceral connection. Medicine administered to one affect? the other, so that unpleasant remedies like castor oil need not be given to both, and they may match pennies to see who will take it. They are only seven years old. MAN IN ARMS. Thoae Two. Then he turned on his heel and walked out.—San Francisco Report. The amethstine lines of evening were growing into darker purples and the purples into black. The boys were amazed and delighted. They covered page after page with notes and thought .they were getting the biggest interview that the "silent man" had ever given out. The questions and answers came so thick and fast that they had no time to think. They simply put down the answers and felt that they were good and sufficient. At last the firing of questions became desultory and finally ceased alto gether. The reporters' ammunition was exhausted. They leaned back in their chairs and with great beads of perspiration on their faces, but there was a look of joy in their eyes. They felt the ineffable satr isfaction that they bad secured the greatest interview ever vouchsafed by the spbynx of Wall street. Why He Was There. This almost reminds one of the sad, simple life of prehistoric man. We picture to ourselves prehistoric man as a big, strong specimen of health, with mighty muscles of maleableiron, clothed in the pelt of a chipmunk' or some other wild beast and" absolutely destitute of fear. * A lawyer trying to serve his client by throwing suspicion on a witness in the case in the course of cross examination said: On the little vine clad porch of the old house the two sat silent, as they had been sitting since the sun had thrown its first long farewell shadows across the fields. "I suppose you will pardon my saying that I don't take as much interest as iuost persons in important pieces of news," said Alice. "But it is due to Mr. Duun for me to tell you that the report isn't true." ~  "You.have admitted that you were at the prisoner's house every night during this time?" When a sentence is begun by one the other frequently completes it. But this is not an anomaly. I have an acquaintance who does that. I begin the story and do the artistic work. Then he finishes the job and gets the applause. I hate such a man as that. others he had seen, and the simple life of the people, which in moments of sentiment he had remembered as idyllic, What thoughts were in their minds no look or motion of theirs betrayed. It was after one of the longest and warmest of these debates that all three sat ostensibly deep in their morning's mail. John Dunn, the lone champion of the commonplace, tore through a small pile of letters with an uir of mysterious importance, which he had been early taught it was necessary to assume in or der to attain business success. As he had attained that great and noble desideratum, and in no small degree, he Wight be fairly credited with a knowledge of the necessary methods. (toe of his fair antagonists, Constance Alston, who had played a heated, enthusiastic and Altogether minor part in the discussion, had forgotten the whole matter iu a bulky letter addressed in a broad masculine hand. Bat when the wailing cry of his child in the cold, damp night of his wretched cave told him of fever or cramp, what did he do? Did he even have the simple pharmacopeia of lard and molasses and honey and vinegar in case of croup? No. He could not scratch, a match, even if he had had one to scratch rough, uncouth and cheerless. He was "Then," replied Beall, "I can tell yoq my news. But if you don't mind ( would rather not tell it to the back of your head." So saying he calmly took possession of half of the rowing seat. "What I wished to tell ycra," he con tinued, "is that I am going to be married in a few mouths." "Yes, sir," replied the witness. "Were you and he interested in any business together?" too far removed from their life for sympathy. too close to feel the picturesque interest and pleasure of a real Bti anger. These people were more or less nearly related to him, yet they seemed another race of beings. He had left his mountain home a mero boy and had gone west, where a new He rose early, and, going into the kitchen, found Mrs. Grimes dressing a chicken for breakfast. The old woman gave him a knowing look and remarked with a chuckle: They were as silent as the stars, which one by one began to peep above the dark line of the hills. "Yes," answered the man unhesitatingly; "yes." The twins are girls and sleep togethei of nights. Here and there a cricket cbirped its vesper hymn, and in the old tiD j beyond the road a roosting fowl at intervals croaked contentedly. It was a time when hearts may beat in harmony and bouIs in wordless measures make music to each other. "Ah! Now will you be good enough to tell us how, and to what extent, and what the nature of this business was in which you and he were interested?" They very good tempered now, but when young used to quarrel a good deal and evade each other as nearly as possible. They are very intelligent indeed, and have been studying English in India preparatory to their visit to England and America. • "Nancy's ben a-waitin fur yer a mighty while, an here yer air shur nuf." "No; I knowed hit 'thout her tellin me. She ain't like other folks, Nanoy ain't; she's a sort o' fool body.** - "1 do not think so." "Yer don't?" "Did she tell you so?" Alice started. "You are! And to whom?" "Are you all through, boys?" asked Mr Gould cheerfully and looking fresher than when he began. "Well, I have no objection to telling,' was the reply. "I was courting his daughter."—Tit-Bits. life opened for him. Something in his nature always made him reject what was coarse and vulgar, and when he becrvme suddenly rich his native gentleness and simplicity of manner stood him instead of breeding and education, disarming criticism, till, with the quick "That's just the difficulty," he said contemplatively. "I've arranged everything else satisfactorily. My business affairs are all right—right enough for me to marry seven or eight girls if the law permitted. I've thought of everything else. I haven't spoken to the different people, but I suppose there will be no trouble. The only problem is, as you suggest, about the bride. So I came over mainly to ask yon to occupy that position." At such an hour peace spreads her gentle wings and all the turmoils of the world run to her shielding breast and •ink to sleep. "All through. We thank you, Mr Gould." The twinkle in bis eye was almost as sciutillant as the evening star as he left the room, and there was a ghost of a smile under his black mustache. The scientists and medical men will be greatly interested in these strange twins and will study them carefully. Bobby (at the breakfast table)—Maud, did Mr. Jones take any of the umbrellas or hats from the hall last night? Embarrassment. "She doesn't seem strong. I'm afraid she works too hard." Softly the man put out his band and touched his companion on the arm. The touch was light, but it was enough. They will be dressed in full evening dress, so that the public can get a good idea of their wonderful bond of unioq. Recently we have been traveling through Ohio, and each year I get a greater respect for this mighty commonwealth. Standing in fact on the mighty thoroughfares between the west, thickly settled by a prosperous and thrifty class of men and women, studded here and there by rich young towns, and with moderate rates of transportation and markets all about them, and half u dozen railroad centers where the great trunk lines converge, it is a wonderful state. perception and imitative faculty which were his birthright, he had largely repaired the deficiencies of his early training, acquiring much of the manner and "Us mounting folks all hef ter work. Nancy ain't stout. She's got the con* sumption, an the doctor says she can't live the winter out." Then we all sat down to compare notes. We went over the questions and answers carefully. They were all there, but to the horror of every one the "answers" did not answer the questions. The notes were gone over carefully again and again, but always with the same result. Then it dawned on the bewildered reporters that in their haute they bad allowed the wily railroader to "play them." He bad actually not given a word of new information, and the next morning there was not a newspaper in Chicago that had a "stickful" of.interview with Jay Gould. Presently she looked up. "What's today—the day of the month I mean?" she asked. And then, without waiting for an answer: "Fifteenth, sixteenth, seventeenth. They will be here today. He writes that he will be here tomorrow— that is today of course; and he is goiug to bring a friend with him." She buried herself again in the letter and emerged with further intelligence: "His friend's name—I am not sure how to pronounce it. Alice," she said, turning to her cons in, the last of the irio, with a mischievous look, "how do you pronounce B-e-a-1-1?" Maud—Why, of course not; why should he, Bobby? "What is it?" came the gentle query in response. Bobby—That's just what I'd like to know. I thought he did, because I heard him say when he was going out, "I'm going to steal just one, and"'— Why, what's the matter, Maud?—Harper's Bazar. tone of people of culture. Now he had come back and was a stranger in his own land. But the bright firelight dancing on the wall illumined the rough interior of the farmhouse kitchen, and he began to feel ton remote, less offended by the meanness of his surroundings. Memories of bis childhood - roee before him as he Chris was going to speak, but the woman's cold, hard face checked him. The man moved bis chair a little closer. "Who is your doctor?" he said at last. Alice turned suddenly. "Mr. Beall," she said, "this is a most unpleasant form of joke." "Nobody yer know; a young fellerbe ain't like Dr. Crain, he aint; he's got larnin an knows what's the matter wi' yer right off." "Jim," he said, "can yon give me a chaw of terbacker?" And the other man, in the soft, sweet hush of the evening time, went down into his pocket for the plug.—Detroit Free Press. "It isn't a joke at all," he answered placidly. "You laughed at my vehemence and romance about such things once before, so I thought I would try a style you would like. But, on my honor, I never was more in earnest in my life." Gullem—No use talking, these professional gamblers are the most open handed, generous, large hearted, whole souled men in the world. When I failed in business some years ago not a man I By Comparison. "What is his name?" "Jim Banks. He lived in Wadevillfc" Chris wrote down the ntrne, and a plan began to form in his mind. watched the yonng woman in her prep- Bare to 8m Him. All of which accounted for the twinkle In his eye.—J. L. Sprogle, Jr., in New York World. •rations for supper. She had mixed up the corn bread, and now knelt on the floor beside the hearth molding it into loaves and putting them into a large iron skillet. The firelight flashed on the tin pan. gave a ruddy gtow to her thin face, and turned her dull, yellowish hair to red gold. As the stranger watched her something rose in his throat. "Nancy r Mrs. Bilkins—Oh, Goodie! Here's a letter from Cousin George. Mr. Bilkins—Hnh! Who cares for him? knew would lend me a cent. After breakfast he took his departure. As he was starting Nancy came up from the springhonse. The Dm of the Tonsils. Friend—So you've told me. A cousin of mine, who had traveled over the entire Union and finally wound up in the west with nothing but a good appetite out of a job, said to me: "William, I should have staid in Ohio. That is the best state in the Union. Probably I should not have accumulated so much there as I have, but I would have been happier." SUFFERING FKOM ADVERSITY. If her object was to create either surprise or confusion on the part of her cousin the attempt was a flat failure, for .that young lady answered imperturb ably: "Bell of course. You the name well enough. Yon can hardly have forgotten him since last winter." Alice drew the blade of her oar slowly through the water for a moment. There was every reason in the world why she should refuse a proposal made in this cool, confident and irritating manner, So, being a woman, she answered finally, "Well, I suppose it would be a pity tQ break up all your arrangements," Many a mother who has found in the ton sils of her children the seat of frequent trouble has wondered for what purpose these sacs of sensitive blood vessels are in eluded in the anatomy of the throat  researches by Dr. tavell Gullard have de veloped some interesting facts about them which ought to change opinion from skep tical curiosity to grateful welcome. Gullem—Well, I lost $500 (all I bad with me) at Cheatem's dive last night, and Cheatem came right up, like the prince of good fellows thai he is, and handed me a st reet car ticket to get home With.—New York Weekly. » Sometimes I murmur when the train is late, and grumble when I stop at the Gem City House at Rogersvilie Junction, where the girl will not give me another knife after eating my bullhead, and where the doctor tells me I am suffering from malnutrition and prescribes for me while I stay there good nutritious food three times a day, to be taken after eating; but we do certainly live in a better time than did prehistoric man. "Where air yer goin?" she asked in some alarm. "To Cranberry." "Yer'll come back?" "Yes, some time." Mrs. Bilkins—Eh? Why, he lives in Chicago and his house is close to the fair grounds, and it's the very place for as to go next summer. I wrote to him, telling him we were all just dying to see him and his lovely family. I wonder what he sajs. Bead it; I'm too nervous.She looked at him with • patient, trusting smile. She turned suddenlv. "Christ" As Beall sat late that night in Mr. Alexander's room enjoying to the utmost the bitter end of a long black cigar, he said charitably, "Now there's Dunn—I don't think he's such ft bad sort of fellow after all." To Be Yesterday we saw a venerable man in irons on the train. The sheriff had him in charge, but the criminal had a sort of comfortable air of victory on his face, and he did not seem to be engaged in regretting any past acts of his own. "Goodbyt God bless yout" he said and rode away, wondering why it is that a strong and constant affection is so seldom mutual. "Was he a Johns Hopkins man—a fellow?" asked Dunn with interest. The tonsils are, it seems, glands in which the white blood corpuscles are developed. Now the white blood corpuscles are the natural enemy of malignant microbes and bacteria, attacking them wherever en countered and always coming off victorious. "I did not know you at first." "I reckon I've changed," she said Mr. Bilkins (reading)—"My Dear Cousin—You will soon have a chance to see us all once more. I have rented my bouse, and we shall make you a good, long visit next summer."—New York "Yes, we knew .him at Baltimore," answered Alice. 1 have suffered keenly from adversity in my time, but there was never a day when I could not have entertained prehistoric man and given him a pretty good time. "Not so much. It was rather dark. It takes the firelight to make you look natural. But how came you here?" sadly. As he got on the cars at Cranberry n gay voice greeted him: "Well, he's stopped all that," said Dunn, presumably referring to the pursuit of knowledge by means of fellowships. "One of his rich relatives died this spring, and he's pretty well fixed." Alexander looked up in humorous surprise from the valise he was packing. ••Why," lie exclaimed, "you said this morning on the train that you had spent long days in wondering how Dunn had escaped the penitentiary." It will be seen, therefore, that a work shop for the manufacture of white corpus cles is a valuable plant, and its location just at the junction of the mouth and nasal passage, two sources of disease germ supply, is only another evidence of the ad mirable economy of nature. I got his story from the conductor. '■Hallo, Warreu t I'm right glad to tee vou!" It was a young drummer with whom Chris was pretty well acquainted. He, too, had been up in the mountains and was full of amusing storiea, from which it soon appeared that he had been flirting outrageously with the mountain lassies. He had been a soldier from a western state. He went into the war, leaving a weeping wife at home, who sorrowed and read the papers sadly day by day. A neighbor named Justus, who was well to do and had sent a substitute to the war, used to bring her the papers and war news, and sometimes would remain by the fireside chatting with her over-the war and how sad it was. You would have thought to have seen him that he just hated the war, but as a matter of fact the war cloud had its silver lining, and he tried to enjoy it. "Uncle Billy married iny aunt, «ji she wanted somebody ter help her, an 1 hadn't no home." Site Had Not Forgotten Him. In a certain fashionable boarding house up town resides a tall, broad shouldered personage, who so prides himself on the possession of positive good looks that he takes liberties which in individuals less favored would be resented. But he is really very handsome and so deliriously consequential that those who would snub stop to smile. He has an accent that is gorgeous to an amazing degree, but in spite of it and his beauty he does not always carry the day. He met a short time ago a bright woman to whom he had been previously introduced, and proceeded to congratulate himself in an effusive manner because she had remembered him Their conversation ran something like this: "Ah, this is indeed a pleasah, ah; and you really remembth me!" "I suppose we know all about him now," said Alice, a trifle wearily, ami rising she strolled out to the edge of the wide gallery, where she stood pensively looking out, a clear cut figure against the blaze of light from without. "Not married'!'" "No." She picked up her pan and left the room. "Oli, this morning," answered Beall. "To tell you the truth, old man, I wasn't feeling very well this morning."—Harper's Weekly. While the larger portion of the white corpuscles created by the tonsils pass right on into the circulation, patrolling and protecting the entire blood system, many more remain on the tonsil surfaces to catch the insidious bacillus at the very thresh old as lie has stolen through the mouth or slipped in by way of the nostrils. By the time the invading germ has passed the ton sll quarantine it is harmless, and thus equally with the blood are the throat, stomach and lnngs protected. Sufficient Unto the Day. "It cannot be she has waited all these years for me," ho thought. "Of course not; such constancy is not to be found among women of her sort. How faded she is! These mountain folks, particularly the women, grow old early. Poor thing! 1 suppose she has had to work hard, and she never was very strong. Why, she can't be much older than Lois Ellison.'' He shuddered at the contrast. Miss Ellisou was his partner's sister. They were the best of friends. He had proposed to her annually for the last five years, and yet they still remained frieuds. She treated him kindly and without coquetry and pleaded a prior attachment. As the other man was dead Chris waited and hoped. "Marie, suppose 1 should steal a kiss from you right now." "Mr. Feveram, I never cross a bridge until I get to it."—Detroit Tribune. "Look here, my boy," said Chris after a time, "let me tell you something. Yon can outlive all your early habits, you may outlive most of your friends, but you 11 never outlive the promise you make a woman, and if you don't want to discover some day that you are an unmitigated scamp, you'd better make none that you don't mean to keep."— Lorraine Stanley in Washington Poet, "That's a graceful picture," said Constance warmly. "Yes, she's a very pretty young girl," answered Dunn indifferently. He proved the genuineness of bis indifference by carrjnng on a very abstracted conversation with Constance for a few moments, and then wandering out with a careful indefiniteness td where Alice stood. D-To a sensitive man the manner in which he was received would have been equivalent to a verbal denunciation as an uupleasant interruption, but Mr. Dunn's many enemies attributed much of his success to his seldom making such discoveries.Customer (at soda fountain)—Hare you any coffee flavor? . Clerk (briskly)—Yes, sir. Drug Store Coffee. He—You seem to look upon a proposal of marriage as an everyday affair. Acted a Gentleman'H Part. The letter of a friend sort of opened the eyes of the soldier, and he came home on a brief furlough. He found that the truth was really too sad to think about. He even found Mr. Justus' own private brandy flask in the drawer where he used to keep his shaving apparatus. He did not shoot Justus or his wife and then have to haul them out on his farm to help the corn crop, but after he had gone back to his post there was a wild scream one night, and a pale woman came running into a neighbor's house with streaming hair and dry bine lips which could not speak. She said Mr. Justus had died suddenly at her house just after he had taken a little brandy, and the kind neighbor was found there in his sins a corpse, having died in great agony while winding the clock. "How did you come to break off your engagement with Twilling?" "He told uie he wanted to get married."—Brooklyn Life. "Does it taste like coffee?" She—Well, no. Hardly that. Every other day. I never give my answer the same day.—Life. "Um—er—n-o, but it looks like coffee —perfect picture of it, sir."—New York Weekly, Too much respect can hardly be shown to the long misjudged but now well proved efficient tonsils.—New York Times. A BaC\ Eud. On the Safe Side. A Popular Error. A Question of Moral Responsibility* Our Best "Society." Willio (at breakfast)—You can't help what yon dfeam, can you, mamma? If men and women so conduct them Reives in public as to attract general attention by financial extravagance, by bi zarrishness of costume, by idiotic mannerisms and by silly talk, what are we to think P If year in and year out their con versation is gibberish, their conduct in the full glare of publicity affected, senseless, unliuiuan, what is the inevitable conclu- His Mother—No, Willie. This with a killing glance. "Tee, Mr. So-and-so," she answered. "1 remember yon quite well." "Then if you dream you're havin a fight you ain't to blame for it, are you? Half a day later and Constance and her correspondent had resolved themselves into a faint splash of oars and a murmur of voices scarcely audible from the pier where Alice was burdened with an embarrassing wealth of companionship. The whilom learned fellow was not obtrusively apparent in a quiet young man leisurely half reclining in the bow of a small skiff of which Alice held the oars. Dunn stood upon the steps leading down to the water, looking despondently at a dark gap between himself and the boat. "No, bnt if you have been a good boy you are not likely to have such dreams." "SHU they ain't wicked, are they, if yoa can't Help it?" Sometimes he had been tempted to doubt her reason for refusing him, bat it only gave him pain, and he had always made it a rule never to donbt a lady's word. Circumstances had now and then obliged him to be false in this principle, but he had lived up to it when he could. His romantic fancy was touched by the constancy of the fair, cultivated woman of the world, but tn this mountain girl such a sentiment teemed painfully incongruous. He knew too well that the position of an old maid here was one neither of honor nor profit. '—y "Thanks awfully, you know, ah. People forget ao, ah. It's, ah, very flattering indeed, and I thank yon, ah, that you should not hare forgotten me." He bowed with his hand on his heart. "I want that apple badly,* "N-no, I suppose not. Did you dream last night you were doing so wicked a thing as fighting?" sion? "Under the circumstances we met it would be quite impossible to forget you, Mr. So-and-so." When these people chase a paper bag and call it a fox hunt, what is it? When they go to a 5 o'clock tea and jabber and chatter, what are they? When they meet in a grand auditorium, where the suprem est works of the greatest masters are inter pre ted by enthusiastic experts, and they not only turn a deaf ear to what is done, but make a very babel with their infernal chatter, what are we to think? When they ignore the claims of Christianity or the wide horizoneU maxims of Judaism, refusing to give a dollar for charity, but cheerfully spending hundreds for their own personal tickling, what must be the judgment? When the highest ambition of a young man is that he may be denationalized, part his hair in the middle, have a stare of suck a cane, driuk brandy and soda and talk in an unintelligible dialect to similar idiots, be a sham, a fraud, a make believe, a pretender, what is the impression conveyed? Aud what are we to think of women willing to marry such saplings?—Howard in New York Re- "Yep! And it would 'a' done you good to see how 1 licked that yeller haired, freckle faced,, good for nothin Bob Stapleford till he couldn't stand up, doggone him!"—Chicago Tribune. ■„ ~T- "How to, ah?" said he deeply interested. "Yon were in the hall talking to some ladies and yon had yonr hat on." The woman was suspected of the murder, and also ostracized from good society. She was arrested, but the jury disagreed. She was very unhappy, and made even more so by the letters and pay her husband sent home every month. Her children also seemed to lose confidence in her, and she is in the asylum now. This time she smiled. She—Well, love is a lottery. A lliul Spec. "It's a pretty tail, bnt it's got to go." -* ; Mr. So-and-so now refers to the lady as "vewy much overrated, yon know, ah." —Exchange.  He—I don't think so. Would a felloe with only five dollars have any chance at you?—Life. The old father of the Rothschilds, at Frankfort, Amschel de Rothschild, was very ill, when Blucher called upon him and tried to cheer him np. Uncle Billy came in and greeted Chris with warmth, and they sat down to supper."I can't bring the boat any closer on account of these posts," said Alice. "You can't drown anyhow," she added Bcornfully. He (in the evening)—I will—er—hand you the change as I pass by tomorrow. There were very few ladies at the political mass meeting, and the big feminine hat with four feathers thereupon was very conspicuous by reason of its loneliness. The face beneath it wore a puzzled, half distressed look. He Had Good Taste. "Die!" said the field marshal; "why, you will live till you are a hundred!!' "I am afraid,'' Amschel replied, "the old enemy won't take me at par when he can have me at eighty-two."—Menus Prooos.  "So you've come back ter yer old home," began Uncle Billy. "Wher's yer companion?" "I haven't any." "Not got none?" The Persians, I believe, have a saying that contempt will pierce through the shell of a tortoise. Dunn made the attempt with the success which usually attends leaps in the dark. There was a sudden movement of the skiff, which in his cooler moments he attributed solely to his awkwardness. For as he stood a moment later dripping and wrathful upon the stepsj he had sundry unpleasuxt suspicions, mainly due to a faint reminiscence of something unaccountable in that sudden slipping away of the boat from under him. No Chance. "Is this novel thoroughly original?" asked the publisher. "Yes, sir." Years went by. The veteran returned. He made a new home for his children and succeeded in business, for every one sympathized with him and sorrowsover his disgrace. But the avenger was on his tract It was a difficult matter to connect him with the murder, but a detective who got out of employment last year found that there was a record of the purchase of the strychnine at an Ohio drug store, but not under the soldier's name. He clung to the clew, and in a few more months found a nhvsician who had prescribed for a man with the same assumed name and resembling the druggist's description. Finally the old soldier was discovered, and the druggist swore to his identity, but the doctor was not so sure. "None of the old characters or sitn ationsV" "No." "Ah, that's more like itT A tall young man was introduced and fell to smiting the rafters with his eloquence."Couldn't yer suit yerself out in Cali "Not one." "Hum!" said the irritated barber. "It's easy enough to kick. Didn't I slice all the hair off your face? What more do yon expect for fifteen cents?" FertMicuted Hit ITarber. fojayT "The girl I wanted didn't want me." **X see. _Wul], yer ought ter ha' taken a wire wiryer. 'faint ter late. We've some pretty gals here. (At this point Nancy, who had gone for a can of cherries, re-entered the room.) Yer recklect Sally Peters? Uster spark her, didn't yer? Wull, she's got two gals as purt "Well, sir, it cannot succeed. You must think the public doesn't know what it has been wanting all these years."— Washington Star. "Great stuff," gleefully commented the party beside the face beneath the big hat, evidently an escort. corder. The face smiled acquiescence and grew radiant with delight •♦Sensible." "The stubble has been removed," remonstrated the customer, "but with it a large amount of my cuticle." If parents would learn of their chil dren, the world would be a happier place than it is now. Well Kcprovfd. Altered. "Gracious, Smith, old boy, how are you? I haven't seen you for ages. You are altered. I should scarcely know you again." "Well, what of it?" demanded the ban ber. "Didn't I dab alum on that gash in your ear?" "Very." "Good taste." "Perfect" The face glowed with pleasure. "His language is so well chosen," observed the party beside it But a moment's reflection convinced blm that it was absurd to suppose that any one should wish to be rid of his society, and even in the most improbable event he felt sure that not even so young a lady as Miss Alston would resort to inch an undignified, childish and altogether improper method. The disappearance of these disagreeable suspicions Iras of course aided by the sincerest regret and sympathy, expressed in a voice which would have made the fortune of an orator or an actress. aa their maw. Beckon one on 'em ood • suit yer." Chris looked up, caught Nancy's eye and frowned slightly. His own feeling responded to the look in her face. What to a real stranger might have been amusing jarred upon him. After supper they sat around the fire talking of old times. Chris learned with "I feel good in front, but I do feel bad behind."—Truth. He (next morning)—Ah—oh—you are on this side today?. "I dess those biscuits mamma made was dest wight, wasn't they?" said little Mary to her papa. She—Yis; I thought I'd be savin yez ther throuble ov crossin over.—Brooklyn T.ifn  "Excuse me, sir, my name is not Smith." "You did," the exacting customer confessed, "bnt you cut the tip off mj nose." Baby's Grip. "Yes; they were delicious.'' "I didn't eat any, but I knew zay was." "You did? How?" Your name altered an "Great Scott! well?"—Tit-Bits. At the trial the doctor said:" A man resembling this one on the day and date named came to me suffering slightly from pleurisy. I prescribed for him. I could not from the evidence thus far adduced swear positively to his identity, but if he be the man who came to me that evening you will find just below the left shoulder blade a porous plaster which I put on there Oct. 5, 1862." "And I pasted it on with court plaster."The face faded into an expression of settled reproach. Spoiled the Fun, She—I had a horrid time shopping today.Too Much of a Good Thing. "Language"  " 'Cause you didn't say a word about "em."—Exchange. Jimson—What became of that man who had twenty-seven medals for saving people from drowning? "True enough, but yon severed one ol my eyebrows and lost it on the floor." The face was exclaiming disdainfully. "nothing. Just see how lovely his necktie matches his eyes!" just what "I kept the razor out of . your eya, didn't I?" • strange feeling of being nnder a spell that all the boys he remembered of his own age were either dead or had become grandfathers, yet he had not thought of growing old. Pretty soon Uncle Billy rose and said: •'I reckon me an my wife'll go ter bed. Nancy'il keep yer company," and he retired to the room beyond. Chris sat looking into the fire. Nancy drew a chair near him. He was scarcely •ware of her presence, his thoughts being far At last she spoke: "I have waited long fur yer, Chris." He started. "Did you believe I would come?" he He—You wanted. found you Spanish Etiquette. "Senorita, will you favor me with the next quadrille?" She—Yes, but the goods were all spread out on the counter, and there was no chance to auk auybody to take anything down from the shelves.'—Detroit Tribune. Dock Worker—He fell in one day when he had them all on, and the weight of 'em sunk him.—New York Weekly. "You did." Presently the band played, and the face beneath the big hat withdrew in company with the party next to it.—Exchange. "Please ask mamma." "And only gashed your neck in foui places?" "Of course that ends our rowing," said Alice decidedly. "Mr. Beall can go to the house with you, and I will row out and find Constance and Mr. Alexander."The young gentleman, after obtaining the woHhy matron's consent, came back to the fair damsel and said: "Quite right." Gns De Smith—I say, Jones, your overcoat looks shabby. Why don't you gel a new one? « iveventioie overcoat. The man was stripped to the waist, and there in the presence of the court they found the porous plaster, a little raveled around the edges, but still adhering to the trembling wretch with damning tenacity. "I'm afraid you're a kicker. My advice to you is to grow a beard or buy a safety razor and not come around insulting union barbers. You're one of those fellows that want a dollar's worth of surgery with each shave and then kick because you weren't chloroformed."-* New York Herald. . "At last," said the anthor to the sociable man whom he met on the train, "] find some one who has read my book." Why He Bead It. First Burglar—Well, let's tackle this house. I know there's some money in it. Second Burglar—W ill it be a safe job? Perfectly Safe. "And now perhaps it would bo as well if you went also to ask my papa's permission. Arlequin. But Dunn, now thoroughly appeased and not over anxious for unsympathetic male companionship in his rather absurd condition, demurred emphatically. How the conclusion was reached he never exactly understood, but somehow after considerable argument and protestation he found himself damply on his way toward the house, while Miss Alston and Mr. Beall had departed on what seemed to him an utterly useless search for the remaining members of the party. Jones—Mose Schaumburg has shu dow n on my credit. Irate Passenger — Madam, what do yon mean by letting that brat snatch off my wig? "Then take it to a tailor and have ii turned." "Yes," replied the stranger, "1 didn't ■kip a line. 1 was proofreader in the office where it was printed."—Washington Star. "You bet; no danger of discovery." "Who lives here?" "Phippeu, the detective," Not Bis Size. Sweeping through Ohio at this $wift rate even, one sees that prosperity has been almost uninterrupted for many years. There may have been times when some one grumbled, but there has been no suffering or lasting hard times even. As I rode over the state rough shod in a luxurious car filled with everything that could exalt or embellish life I, could but compare the lot of these 0149 farmers— Mother (with a sigh of relief)—Oh! it's a wig is it? I was afeared fur a minute that he'd ac&Ipt ye alive.—Life. Kate Douglass Wiggin gives, in "Children's Rights," a realistic picture of the great world of honse and garden as it presents itself to a little child. Most pathetic of all, aa it seems to her, the child is forced to live among surroundings which have no relation to his size or capabilities. She says: "Humph, do yon think that this coal has got three sides?"—Texas Sittings. 1Tit-Bits. Appropriate. Room for One Only. He—I can't make up my mind what to get for a fall suit. I want something that, as Shakespeare says, will proclaiia the kind of man I am. Comrade*. Clara—W hat do you think of my new muff? Maude—Why do yon associate with that odious MioS Friz top? Nice In Four Different Ways. kYm" Vividly he recalled the moment when, bad bidd0a.JtsodlaLjtoa.rocy The man who made a fortune on ham sandwiches evidently knew how to pat t*i» 9X4 Surttfc Much Hon the Hilk Trader. Strswber— Yon wouldn't think I had those suspenders three years, wonld yon? Singerly—No, Did they come with Qy troTuewrt—Few Ygrfc: EtogJd. Mande—Lovely. But where do you put your other hand?—New York Her«UD Genevieve—Sh! Miss Friz top is the sister of four brothers.—Chicago News- Record. She—Why don't you get some dull material?-—Clothier and Furnisher, How ehou}d we like to live half the