Pittston Gazette and Susquehanna Anthracite Journal

              THE PITTSTON GAZETTE in sracniiUM jnnRieni jocmai. a 'gJttklq JJtui0pnptt- ( ®ronfe8 to Mtw. lifttnfnrt, tjjt Jllrrrantife, Hitting, Jfitrjjnnicnl, anil %irulttrnl Suttrrsta of tjie (Conntrq, Snsfrnrtinn, JlninHcmnif, kt. )--€tna Dolto fsti jtamttit* PITTSTON, PENNA., FRIDAY, JULY 30, 3852. WHOLE NUMBER 103* VOLUME 2.-NUMBER 51. THE! her words had been prophetic, the little girl, their only servant, appeared at this crisis, and said the doctor was wanted in a great hurry. With an exulting smile, his wife ran for his hat, and then sat down with a beating heart to await hik return. It was almost the first summons the young physician had received, though he had resided in the village for more than a year. The place too, was large and populous, and there wero sevsral physioians ol large practice, and all this combined to put down the young rival. More tliun onee, therefore, Ernest would hnvc abandoned the field in despair, but his young wife cheered and encouraged him ; though sometimes her own heart felt ready to give up. Mary Lin wood was, indeed, the greatest of all blessings a good wife. She sympathized with her husband, economized to the utmost, and by her sanguine words chased despondency from his heart. ADVIOB TO YOUNQ LADIES. The Jilt. A SKETCH OF REAL LIFE Knight was still constant in his visits; and thus ends the seooud part of this eventful We find the following in an exchange paper, without any evidence of its author* ship. As we frequently publish articles against this much abused diss, it is no more than fair to give place to anything that can be said in their defence. Defenoe of Bachelor*. Franks of a Sarpant. One of our late European papers has the following thrilling detail of the adventures of a boa constrictor. BY FANNY FEH.1. history. PBINTRD AND PUBLISHED WEEKI.Y »Y fa. 91. Kichurt 8 H. S. PhiUipn, When the spirit moves you to amuse yourself with "shopping,'' be sure to ask the clerk for a thousand and one articles you have no intention of buying. Never mind about the trouble you make him; that's part of the trade. Pull the fingers of the gloves you are examining, quite out of shopo ; inquire for some nondescript color of some scarce number, and when it is found, " think you won't take any this morning; " then keep him an hour hunting for your sun-shade, which you at length recollect you " left at liomtami depart without having iuvested a solitary cent. BY IBIS. Two days only had elapsed since the departure of Mr. D , but in that brief interval the train had been laid to the mine which was to explode beneath the fm of the unsuspecting Celia. The uncle was informed of his niece's secret marriage, and whilst she wax walking in the valley we have before spoken of, musing ou her absent husband, and meditating what she should say to her present lover (for her Knight accompanied her in" her walk,) he was preparing to hurl anathemas on her head on her return. The sun had sunk below the horizon, and the silvery beams of the moon wore shining on the tops of the tall trees, when the pair bent their steps homeward. The hour, the scene, all concurred in reminding the knight of the day when his lodve love first, blushing, owned she loved him ; and again lie passionately entrpated her to name "the duy,'the eventful day" which should turn glooin into glvdncss, anJ make his heart loop with hilarious joy. instead of mlorming him of what had taken place, she owned his passion was returned, and he accompanied her to her residence, elate with hope ot the imagined prospect of his desires being gratified by the bestowal of her hand and fortuiio. Judge of his astonishment, how ever, when, on arriving at the door, an out. burst of fury on the part of the uncle too soon revealed to him the terrible truth.— The revulsion of feeling was too great, he was distracted; he tore his hair, and, with a wild gaze on the transfixed Celia, he rushed from the house. Sleep was out of the question—and, like Adam, he still lingered round his lost paradise. Meantime our heroine had to endure the reproaches of her incensed guardian, who even proceeded to personal violence ; and in the dead of night she packed up her worldly goods, not forgetting the i/1,000, determined, on the first blush of morn, to be "off and away." She carried her determination into effect; and, at "early dawn" left the house, and proceeded on her road to Bristol. She had not taken many sieps. when, to her surprise, she met the disconsolate Knight who had so hurriedly "cut his stick" the previous evening, looking a perfect picture of woe-begone wretchedness. Who shall fathom the heart of woman t— her partiality lor him revived, she longed to console the wretched wanderer, anil to his frantic entreaty, In the pleasant village of A—t—n, situated near the city, on the Somersetshire side of the Avon, resided, some two years since, and, for aught wo know, resides thero still, an elderly gentleman whose household affairs were superintended by a perfect paragon of a niece—a lovely and accomplished young lady, just emerging from her 'teens, and graced with that  appreciated of all charms in this most unromantic age, the possession of a small fortune. On her arriving at the ago of twenty-one she was entitled to the sum of £ 1,000. NceJ it be said, with these attractions, numerous were the enamored swains sighing at the fuel of the fair Celia, who, however, turned a deaf ear to their solicitations, and restricted her affections to a favorite kitten and a "love of a spanial," till at lentil a stalwart Knight, siurdy ond bold, entered the lists, and soon distanced all competitors for the hand of our heroine and her thousand pounds.— Matters progressed favorably, and, after a time, the fair Celia began to .consider the ey6a of her Knight better worth looking into, and his 0:Duntcnance more attractive, than that of hep- juvenile grimalkin ; and even the pet, Flora, was neglccted. Numerous were their walks, "On Saturday last, toward* evening, the travelers journeying to Paris by the train from Havre were greatly terrified by an extraordinary incident. The train carried a collection of wild beasts, which were destined to appear at the Hippodrome, in the representation of a piece called the "Christian Martyr." The animal* were under the oharge of M. Hebert, a friend of Gerard, the lion tamer. The collection was accompanied by a boa constrictor seventeen feet in length, which was intend* ed as a present to the director of the Hippodrome. This serpent wm contained in a box suspended under the van which held the beasts. Whether the box was too small, or the animal too large, fn«y bfl doubtful, but the serpent waa dissatisfied, and breaking one of the sides of its prison wound its way up to the top of the train, and amused itself by passing from one carriage to another. When it bad promenaded in this manner unperceived, for nobody knows how long, it announced its presence by thrusting its head up close to the engine driver. To describe the cry of terror which the poor man seat up would be impossible. The train was immediately stopped, and M. Ilebert, with two African assistants, took measures for capturing the reptile, which wound itself about the machinery of the locomotive, and waa only detached with much difficulty, and secured in a box stronger than the first. Although the serpent had not visited those in the interior of the carriages, the passengers by the train were exceedingly nervous, and expressed a strong disliie to accompany the boa to Paris." Ofice Weil side o) Mail. Street, second Story of the " Long Store " of Winter «f- Wood. 'Bachelors are styled, by married men who have put theii foot in it, as 'but half a pair of shears,' and many other cvtlivg titles are given them, while on the other hand, they extol their own state as one ol such perfect bliss that the change from earth to heaven would be somewhat of a doubtful good. The "Qaiette" is published every Friday, at Two Doi.i.ars |Der annum. Two Doi.i.ars and !• ikty Okkts will be charged if not paid within the ye«r. „ No paper will be discontinued until all arrearage* Advertisements are inserted conspicuously at Ove l)oi,i. hi per suuare of fourteen '"!" fur tiirw insertions; anJ Twenty-f.vk Cents addtUo-.ll l'jr every subsequent insertion. A librral deduction to those who advertise for su months or the whole year. . . . Job Work.—We have connected with our estab. well selected assort,nent ot JoB Tvr, which will enable us to execute, in he' neatest style, every variety of prinUng. Being pracUcal urliit rsoursUvca, we can afford to do work on as ; t*rnii as any other office in the county. All letters and communications addressed to the flnzelU must be post paid, and endorsed by a responsible name, to receive attention. 'If they ure so happy, why in time don't they enjoy their happinrs.-i, anil hold their tongues about it ? What do half of the men get married for? That they may have somebody to darn their stockings, sew buttons on tlioir shirts, and trot the babies? that ihey may as a married man once said, to**'pq|l of tlieir boots when they are a little balmy ?' These (ellows are always talking of the lonelinessof bachelors. Loneliness, indeed ! Who is petted to death by the ladies who have marriageable daughters? invited to tea and other parties, and told to 'drop in when it is convenient?' The Bachelor. Who lives in clover all his days, and when he dies has flowers strewn over his grave by all the girls who could not entrap him ? The Bachelor. Who strews flowers on She married man's grave—his widow ? not a bit of it. She pulls down the tombstone that a six wee-ks' grief has set up in her heart, and goes and gets married again, she does. Who goes to bed early because time hangs heavy on his hands ? the married man. Who has wood to split, marketing and house hunting to do, the young ones to wash, and lazy servant girls to look alter?—the married man. Who is taken up for beating his wife ? the married man. Finally, who has got the sciipture on his side ? the bachelor. St. Paul knew what he was talking about—' He that marries does well, but he that does not marry does better.'' When you enter a crowded lecture-room, and a gentleman rises politely, (as American fjenlfemen always do,) uiiti offers to give up his scat, (that lie came un hour ago to socure Tor himself,) take it as a mailer ol rourse ; and don't trouble yourself to thank him even wilh a nod of your head. As to feeling uneusy about acccpiing it, that's Wdiculous ! because if he don't fancy standing during the scivice, he's at liberty to go home ; it's a free country Hour after hour she sat there awaiting her husband's return, yet he came not.— At last darkness set in, and she began lo feel uneasy. She was about arising to go to the door, when she heard her husband's toot on the steps, and hurried out—she met him in the hall. For the PitMton Gomte. THE DEPARTURE " God bless you, Mary, for an angnl its you are," were his first wotds. " If it had not been for you, I should have given up long ago. but now my fortune is made." When you enter the cars, and all the eligible places arc occupied, select one to your mind; then walk up to the gentlemin who is gazing at the fine scenery through the open window, and ask liiin for it, with a queenly air, as if he'd lose caste instants r, did lie hesitate to comply.— Should any person seat themselves near you, not exactly of "your stamp," gather up the folds of your dress cautiously, as if of contagion, aud apply a '•vinaigrette" to your patrician nose! " There'! nol In thli wide world a valley to «wect As the vole In whoao bosom the bright waters meet, Oh, the Imt ray uf feeling and life must depirt Ere Ihe bloom of thut valley shall fodu from my heitrt." Breathless with anxiety to hear all, yet not unmindful of his probably wearied condition, Mary hurried her husband into the little Bitting room, where all the tea things were laid, and began to pour out the refreshing beverage with a trembling hand, while Ernest told the history of his day's absence. Foon 1 must leave this lovely vote, And say good-bye to all lis scenes. Nor see aguin the hlllor dale, That witnessed first uiy youthful droains. ' Down in the vale where the sweet waters gli. ding, In murmuring atrcama ripple through the dark grove." »1y youthful dreams! Ho* pure they were, Hut transient an the pearly uluuds, That dazzle on the sunlit air. And vanish "neath their uiure shrouds. and sundry wero the ejaculations of ihe Knight—" liovv beautiful!" though wlie. tlier they were applied to the scenery or his companion must still remain an open question. Same six months elapsed, and our scene now opens in the loveliest month of the year—warm, glowing, sunny June. It was on the eve ol the first of June, and the Knight and the "fair ladye" were taking their accustomcd walk. The moonlight lay bright upon the river, and the wuter trembled beneath it like timid lips beneath the first kiss. A nightingale began to sing in the valley, which has derived its name from tho inimitable songster, and another answered it from an adjacent grove. It was a night in which one not only loves, but is beloved—in which one not only longs for blessedness, but will be blessed. The Knight Arcw the ladye" closer to his side, and more compressed was the pressure on her delicately rounded arm as lie poured his vows of affection and unalterablu love into her willing ear. His advances wore not discouraged—" Instead of considering Ilia suit lis amiss, With Set smiles »he kindly amused him: itnd when the dear fellow he asked fur a kiss, " I found," ho said, "that I was sent tor to old Governor Houston's—the richest and most influential man, you know, in the cauntry—and when 1 got there, 1 learnt, to my surprise, tthat the Governor had been thrown from his carriage, and was thought to be dying. All the physicinns in the town had been sent for, but none could aid hint. In despair, his wife, without orders, had sent for mo. I saw his on ly chance of life depended, on a new and difficult operation, which none of the older physicians had ever seen performed. 1 stated that I thought it could be done.— The old Governor was a wan of iron nerve, and quick resolution. When he heard the others say they could do noihiug for him, he determined to commit himself to my hands. I succeeded beyond my hopes— even the other physicians were forcod to acknowledge my skill, and there is nothing now but care required to make my patient as well as ever. On parting, he put this roll of bank notes in my hand." Mary was in tears lor.j; before her husband finished his narrative, but her heart went up with thankfulness to God, for having thus interposed just at the crisis when hope seemed gone. From that clay Ernest Linwood was a made man. The fame of his o|Deraiion was in every one's mouth—by the aid of his patient, now become his patron, he stepped at once into practice among the best families of the place. Wealth, as well as reputation, flowed in upon him; but he always attributed his success to his wife, whoso a flection had cheered and sustained him when out of hear^ Understand thoroughly tho dexterous use of a sun-shade in enabling you to avoid the infliction of a " bore," or an '• unrepresentable person," in the street, avoiding, under that shield, the unlady like impropriety of the "cut direot," (allowable only in cases of undisguised impertinence.) Should you receive an invitation to a concert, manage to accept it (conditionally;) leaving a door of escape, should a more eligible offer present itself. 1 fain would llnner yet awhile. And quench my spirit's ardent tbinrt, And all Its weariness bo;uile, .With bo|K» that may In brightly burst Government of Sohoola. In our reading the past week, We have thought this article worth scissoring for our readers. Order is the first thing in every school. "There should be a perfect system ol order j- a seat for every student, and every student in his seat, unless absent from it by permissiou. In ordinary crises there should be no going out allowed during school hours j there should be a recess ior recreation, and ventilation of raoms, which should occur once in the forenoon and afternoon of each day. The ascendancy of the teaoher should be maintained with firmness, yet with kindness rather than otherwise ; remembering that mind is acted upon by motive, and matter by power or force : and as the fountain will not rise higher than its source, ao the morals and deportment of the pupils will not rise higher than those of the teacher. Let those who have been accustomed to severe and arbitrary modes oi correction try it, and see if it does not produoe a bet* ter effect. Ah! yMS IVI linger near the *hrino Thni Uv« and Hope have mtuto «D dear, When' still thCir my»ik banners whine, Ai J'.tit I niittt ]«irt llHfrrhMllHBy tie*. hri'f/ttiMili Mnd clear. ,vin« i.onil*. tluU warmly twine V w:.ruing heart, that nighs HUH of life'* Hpring-tiiue Old Knickerbocker "never tires" in the race far fun, novelty, wit and news—that is to say, news in its own Hue :— The Knickerbocker. D11 oi paasioti bound h in her flight. When solicited to sing at a party, decline, until you have drawn around you the proper number of entreating swains; then yield gracefully, as if it were at a great sacrifice of your timidity ! iivncd In pn**ioii°a light rupture crowned Fabula II.—flour not to get elected, to Congress.—The bull and the ass were once candidates (or Congress. The animals of the constituency bring all assembled on election day, the bull mounted the stump, and thus addressed them s h** idle i iug fours Hi fond regrt Flirt v itli an admirer till the last end of the chapter, and tlu-n—" be so taken by surprise" when lie makes the declaration you were driving at! As "practice makes perfect," every successive attempt of this noture will render you more expert in angling for hearts, besides exerting a very beneficial effect upon your character. ul IjoHovn mot. Though dark the tho Future brooks " Oh, Celia, dear—oh, Celia,Vicar, how could you use me so 1 I've met with many a breeze before, but never such » blow;" " I've loved you sinccrely, I've loved you too dearly, Cf-c , 4c., "Horned eaitle, hogs, sheep, geese, turkeys and ducks, 1 ask your suffrages because 1 can serve the public better than any of the rest of you. Congress, as you all'know, has become a mighty hard congregation. Col. Wolf, and Judge Fox, Capt. Panther and old Governor Grizzly, are electcd members of the next house, and unless you elect somebody that can't be bullied down, your interests will suffer.— Friend horse, here*, is a good sensible beast but he has no talent for public bodies. He declines the nomination in my favor. As lor the rest of you, there is not one of you who is fit for the post! You sheep are cowards ; you hog* are stupid and pigheaded ; you turkeys, geese, and ducks are but little beuer than idiots, and would die outright if Commodore Hawk should whistle at you when you took the floor.— My worthy antagonist here you know as well as 1 do. Thoiti old Federalists would fool him out of his ears. I can say nothing for myself. If you thiuk I can be bullied down by the whole menagerie, don't vote for ine ; if otherwise, otherwise." TUC- blitw to come my spirit wake* And what Mhoul.i cloud my kindling brow, In splendid visions to me now— bC» then adieu to classic ground, The soil onoe wet with |*»t riots' blood, Adieu etu:h memorable mound By !3.i*i'iL*h anna's silver flood. Ah to cultivating your mind, tliat'x all waste powder—you've better amuiiition to attack the enemy ; and as to cultivating your heart, there's no use in talking about a thing that's unlashiouuble ! So always bear in mind that all a pretty woman is sent into the world for is to display the fashions as they come out; waltz, flirt, dance, sing, and play the old Harry generally ! she replied, in accents sweet, " My own dear Knight, 1 am afraid I have been a little fool; con you torgive your poor unhappy, wretched Celia ? Her overburdened heart could say no more ; she swooned, and was caught in the arms of her faithful Knight, who with many a fond endearing expression, and sundry pressings to his bosom, recalled her to lite. "What shall we dnf" murmured the unhappy girl. "Cut and run," suggested Iter lover, though not, perhaps, in those very forcible words; something, indeed, he said about " fiyjng wiih him to a stale of felicily." Ho hesitated, beseeched, implored, declared she could not think of doing such a thing, and, finally And whore the Alleghany glide*, Through foremtt dim, mid v allien fair, When!many a hark her wave divides, I'll And domestic ahelter there. The Imppy pair returned to tho uncle, who doubtless snid, in the language of old stagecomedy gentlemen, " Take her, you dog, take her, though you don't deserve her." She blushed, but she did not refuse him.'* Eidora. Let their condition be cheerful, throw off moroseness and irascibility ; be lamiliar, come down to a level with the humblest of your pupils, and a spirit of ambition and zeal will be inspired io the hearts of the youth, and the d8use of eduoation be advanced. Out of Heart. " Why so sad, Ernest," said the young wife to her husband, affectionately twining her ann.-t around his ncck and kissing iiini. Time rolled on; four time*" had the season changed, but no change had tuken place in the relative positions ot Celia and her knight. They were still affianced, but alas, for the fickleness ot woman, such was not long to continue the case. A Mr. I)—, who in curly life had exchunged the quiet and romantic scenery of his nolive village for the busy bustling scones of Manchester, returned to A—t—n, for the purpose ot visiting his parents, and in the course of his sojourn was introduced to our fair but fickle heroine. Verily, if Cupid shot the dart, he has much to answer for; but certain it is that the young linen-draper created, unwittingly, an interest in the iiroastoftho lady tar deeper than she felt for her former lover. Hut, alas, the flame was not mutual. Whether Mr. D—— was aware of tho engagement existing between Miiis Celia and her knight, or whether his atlbctions were of a Platonic rather I ban an ardent caste, is uncertian ; but, nevertheless, when his leave ol ab sence expired, he took leave of absence of the il,Tinsel wiih nil conceivable coolness and unconewrn, and deserted the charming Celia for culicoes and counter-jumping.— A Dutch Judge Fie looked tip with u sad smile and repliedA friend given us ail amusing idea of u " Dutch Judge," in the following sketch : XUeeipt for Making Bread. "I am almost out of heart, Mary; I hink ol nil pursuits, a profession in tfio worst. Here have 1 been, week after week, and month after month—I may soon nay year after year—waiting for practice, yet without success. A lawyer may volunteer in a celebrated case, and so may make himself; but a physician must sit patiently in his office, and if unknown, see men without half his acquirements rolling in wealth, while he, perhaps, is starving. And it will soon come to that," he added, bitterly. " if I do not get employment." Take a pint of milk, and let it com* to a boil; put in cold water enough to  it a little more than milk warm ; put in one tea-spoonfull of salt, two large teaspoonfuls of corn meal, and enough flour to make it as thick as you can conveniently stir it. Keep it about milkwarm ; if water rises to the suiface, stir your yeast, and if it does not begin to rise in five or six hours, stir in a littfe more meal. When your yeast rises, sift your flour, put in a! little salt and a piece of butter half as big as a hen's egg ; mix up with warm water, grease your pans and warm them, and fill them hall full, and When the dough ri~ sea to the lop of the pan put it rn to bake. Bake to a light brown, then take it out of the pan and wrap it up. Bread ought n«f to be cut under twelve hours after baking. — Valley Farmer. "lie was about to sentence a prisoner ; and on looking around for liim, found him playing chequers with his custodian, while the foreman of the jury was fast asleep.— deplenishing the ample judicial chair with his broad cast person, he thus addressed the jury— There is nothing we would say like a faithful wife ; under God, our weal or woe for this life depends upon her. If she i.s desponding, your own sanguine spirit catches the intection. But if she is full of hope and energy, her smiles will cheer .you on in the dsikest hour, and enable you to achieve what you at first thought impossibilities. Our success in tiiis world, as well as our happiness, depends chiefly on our wives. Let a man marry one, therefore, "equal to either fortune," who enn adorn his riches or brighten his poverty, and who under all circumstances, will be truly his helpmate. "Whispering, I'll ne'er consent—consented.'' They fled, carrying with them the £ 1,000; and the disconsolate husband does not know where to find either the fugitive lovers or the winged liches. " Mister voreman and t'uder jurymans : Ocr brisoner, Hans Nleckter, is vimshed his game rtiit der sheriff, and has peat him, but 1 shall duke gare he don't peat me.— Hans has been dried for murder, pefore you must bring in der vardick, but it must pe 'cordin to der law. I)e man he killt was not kilt at all, as it was broved he is in der jail at Morrisdown for sheep sdealin'. Put dat ish no madder. l)cr law says dut when dure is a tou't you give 'em to der brisonerj but here dor ish no tou't ; so you see der brisoner ish gutlty. I'esides, lie ish a great loafer. I had know'd hint vifty year, and he hushn't done a s'ditcli of work in all dat dimes ; and der ish none debendin' on him vor der livin', ant he ish no use to nopody. i dink, Misder voremans, dat he petter pe hung next Fort o' July, as der militia ish goin' to drain in anoder gounty, and dar would pe no vun goiti' on here !" It should be added, to the credit ot the jury, that in spite of this "learned and impartial charge," they acquitted the prisoner, finding him "Not Guilty, if he would leave the State." "The ass began in the most magnificent periods "My fel-o-ow citizens! When the lloman empire was at the summit of iis corruption, I do not think such insolence was ever heard. What! my courageous and heroic friends, the sheep, are stigmatised as 'cowards ;' these intelligent and candid swine are styled 'stupid and pig.head.4 and these geese and turkeys, uiiose gigantic intellects are the admiration of the known world, are covered with a flood of obloquy ai.d vituperation worthy of the most corrupt period of the Romau To Apprentice Boys. De faithful, boys. A good, faithful apprentice will alwayD make a worthy and industrious man. The correct habits of jouth are not lost in man. Associate wiih no persons who are addicted to bad habits. Spend your leisure hours in some profitable pursuit. An unbidden it ar started into his wife's o. but sli* s'rove to smile, and said : •• Do ■ rWpotid, Ernest. I know you huve t» •• unfortunate an fat, but you have talents and knowledge to make your way as soon as you £et a start. And depend npon it," DD1)9 added, with a cheerful look, Cfthr.t i*i'! com? when you least expect it." A Spunky Woman We find the following spirited advertisement in an old file of the Courant, dated, May 27, 1807. The woman who could pitch into her husband in this way, mutt have known how to handle the ropes when he was living with her. She says : Do not go to any place of amusement where the mind i* not really benefitted. Do not stand at the corners of streets, or lounge in shops of bad repute. Always have a useful book to take up, or a good Camp M—ting Anaodote. " So you have told me often, but the lticky hour has never come," said her husband, despondirDgly. Poor gill ! tne shock to her suscrptihlc affections was insupportable. She pined and witbertd, walked about Ihe house wiih an absent, distracted, melancholic air, look to singing doleful ditties, commencing with " Sweet blighted lily." and, in short, was fast becoming a prey to a "lean and yellow melancholy." In vain did the assiduous Knight, who little suspected the cause of his fair one's misery, redouble his attentions. In vain he entreated her to put a termination to his doubts and fears, and crown his happiness by becoming Mrs. K. No; the image of her Knight was supplanted in her faithful heart by her dear, her darling Mr. D ; and, finally, when she became of age, she quietly sent a letter to the young gentleman at Manchester, avowing her predilection for him, and offering herself for his acceptance, "for better, for worse," as the case might be. As soon as tho Manchester man received the letter, he at once cut the calico trade, and came as fast as the wings of love and an express train could bring him, to throw himself at the lady's feet. Fortune was favorable. The uncle and guardian of the lady were temporarily absent; and —we blueh to say it—the faithless Celia and her linen-draper lover were united in Ihe indissoluble bonds of holy matiimony. Swiftly passed the hours, and they awaked fromtheir "dream of young love." The Manchester man explained to his sorrowing lady that circumstances compelled him to return to that city, and that it would be highly inconvenient for him to take her with him just then. Wiping away her tears with his snowy cambric handkerchief —a choice sample of a recent consignment—he besought her for a short time to keep their marriage secret, and assuring her of fidelity to their pledged vows, said he should shortly return and claim her as his bride. They parted. Mr. D t«- turiied to bis business j tho deceived empire." At a camp meeting, a number of ladies continued standing on the benches, notwithstanding the frequent bints of the minister to sit down. A reverend old gentleman, noted for hie good humor, arose and said D '•We cannot report the remainder of this grand harangue. Sulfice it to say that 'the ass obtained the entire sheep-vote, pig-vote, and goose-vote, and was elected. " And now every cent of our little fortune is expended, and our credit will soon bo Rone when it is found we do not pay.— What tlten is to become of us?" Read the lives of such men as Franklin, Hale, Doddridge, Locke, Newton, Johnson, Adams, Washington, 8c., men who have been useful in life, and left behind tlicm characters worthy ot imitation. no wspnpes " Thomas Ilutchins has advertised that 1 have absented myself from his bed and board, and forbids all persons trusting me on his account. I now advertise to the public that said Thomas Hutchins came as a fortune hunter into this town about a year ago, with a recommendation, and with some artful falsehoods induced me to marry him and take him into my house and bed, from which his brutality has drove me with wounds and bruises; he has threatened my life, kept me by force from entering my house for any of my clothing, money or other property ; he has also forcibly detained the chest, money and property of my sister. Some debts due me when I was married, I hope will not be paid to him. 1 have never heard that any. body owed him a debt; if they do, tlwy had better pay him immediately, as he will want it—for I shall maintain him no longer. Of the four wives he had before me, the last, lie can best inform the public —but I caution all widows or maidens against marrying hitp, be their desire for matrimony ever so strong. Should he make advances under a feigned name, they may look out for a little strutting, talkative, feeble, meagre, hatched faced fellow, with spindle shanks, and a little warped in the back ! Thankful IIi/tcuins. Moral.—This fable teachcs that candidates for office should not tall pigspig*." Ernest was in a mood which the most sanguine sometimes experience, when disappointment after disappointment has crushed the spirit, and the voice of hope is no longer heard within. His wife wonld have given way to tears if sh» had been alone, but she felt the necessity of sustaining him, and answered cheerfully,— "1 think ii* those ladies standing on the benches knew they had holes in iheir stockings they would sit down." This address had the desired effect— there was an immediate sinking into the seat. A yoang minister standing behind him, and blushing to the temples, said— , "Oh, brother, how Could yotl say that?4' " Say that ?" said the old gentleman—- "It's a fact—if they hadn't holes in their stockings, I'd like to kno* how theV could* get them on." Break not the Sabbath. Always attend ; never let your seat be vacant, except you are sick, or away from home. Be kind to your associates. Cultivate benevolent feelings. If you see distress or sorrow, do all that in you lies to alleviate it. Don't Stand on the Track. The train, says a railroad gazette, may steal suddenly upon you, and then a little trepidation, a slight mis-step, a slip ot the foot, and we shudder to think of your crushed and bleeding body. So, in the journey of life, perils are around you on every hand. But don't stand in their path and disregard them. Perhaps you now and then take a little intoxicating drink.— My friend, if so, you are standing " on the track," while the oar of retribution comes thundering or.—moving in a right line— approaching with steady nnd rapid wheels. Will it not bear down and- ctusIi you ?— Perhaps you spend an occasional evening with a party of friends, amusing yourself with cards or dioe, staking small sum* to make the game interesting. My friend, you are standing "on the track." Thousands have stood there and perished. Don't wai: to hear the rattling of re8Mbg Wheels but Ay from the track. At a safe distance stand and view the wrecks which yon ponderous train will spread before you. Look weft to the ground or which you plant your feet, and forget not for these many days, our parting word's; " Oont stand on the track." m  laughable Anecdote " What if every cent is gone? Have no fear that we fhall starve. God sent the ravens to feed Elijah, aud he will yet interpose for our aid. Trust in him, deadest."Some one tells us a good story respecting one Deacon Havens. Il appear* thut at last harvest time, the deacon had a'mowing bee,' and anions the party were two interesting sons of lielial, who were more inclined to cut capers than clover. One of their tricks on the old man consisted of filling the tin horn with soft soap, and slightly stopping the orifice with cotton.— When the hour of twelve o'clock came, our venerable friend seized the loaded instrument, and blew a blast which scattered the contents far and near. To say that the deacon was displeased, would but slightly describe his feelings. He was enraged ; for the first time in his life he became excited. Says he—'Gentlemen. 1 am an old man—I am the head of the Sanday School, and have preached the gospel for five and thirty years, hut I'll be d—-d if I cant lick any man who soft soaped that trumpet.' When a friend or companion is confined by sickness, make it a point to call on him and bestow all little favors possible upon him. If you cultivate kind feelings, you will seldom quarrel wiih another. It is always better to suffer wrong than to do wrong. We should never hear of mobs, or public outbreaks if men would cultivate the kind feelings of ihe heart. Finally, make the Bible your study.— Live by its precepts. In all your trials and disappointments, here you will find peace and consolation. You will be sustained iu life and supported in death. *• But really, Mary, this want of success would try the stoutest spirit. The me. chanic, the day laborer, the humble far. mer, is sure of his food fcnd raiment; but 1, after having spent years in study, have wasted years, besides waiting years for pcaotice, and now when all my fortune is irorie, I lose all 1 have spent, both of time and money, and must forever abandon the ide.4 of my profession. It is too hard !" An Ibtebmi-ing Preaches.—A clergy, man was once sent for in ihe middle of lha night, by one of the ladies of his congregation."Wetf, my pood woman," said he, "po you are Very ill, and require the eo.isolations of religion. What oan I do for you ? " »• *• • •* • « • • -• "No," replied the old lady, "I am oef very ill. 1 am only nervous and cannot Bleep." "How can I help that f" asked the clergyman."Oh, sir, yon always put me to sleen so nicety when I go to church, that 1 thought if you woultf only preach a little for me—" They say the parson swore ; at any rate lie "made tracks" in letfs than no tini3« A no in', arose und walked the room with rapKI stride Evil Thoughts.—Hove n care of evil thoughts. Oh! the mischief they have done in the world! Hod thoughts come first, bad words follow after, and bod tlecrfs bring up the olose. Strive against them*! Watch against^them! Pray against them f- They prepare the way for the enemy : /]i., witii f-ijflii (I anil remained silent.— ,trt dltur « minutnor two, she went up lo ... : fyndh ucircling him with her do not worry vourseH so. ful for me Jo endure pov- 03" 'La, me J' said Mrs. Partington, on reading in the papers that Jenny Lind had a fellow-feeling in her bosom for the sutlerfag and oppressed of all nations. ' It was jest so with me when f was a gal!' tier companions fainted, while the old lady readjusted her specs. rty ' nmv Lilt woman never regards ,ur' -.lit ■ vdt.in she loves. A crust of bn d.J i.ud it lug cabin would be preferable toftw, if I -hafid tliem with you, than a palace with another. Hut it will not come ♦o this. Sotuf;.^'aasures me that you will yet be rioh. Ilave patience for a little while longer. There is a knock' at the POW—it be for £ou-" if The Author of the Multiplication Table—We met a gentleman in a bookstore the other evening, searching for the origin of the multiplication table. Who of our readers could have told him its anthor 1 It was invented by Pathsgoras, the Grecian philosopher, 539 years before Christ, and is thus 599!' years old. It has done great service in the worlds in the study of mathematics.. Bad thought's a thief' He acta his part: Creep* through the window of the heart ;• Am), if he once his way can winj He lets a handred robbers ia. " Oh Dear !" said a fashionable girl, when she first beheld a cucumber, " I air. ways thought such things grew in slices-" This is almost as good as the wise Iegislator asking a lumberman what he did with the rafts after he had sold the lumber off them. He had a glimmering that they were taken bock for a fresh load. « Gen. ttere» knows no East, no West, no North, no ooutlv"—AUanlic Atlas. Neither does the East, West/North, or South, know Gen. Pierce. The coincidence is truly iem«rkableAUeghanu Whi9. ' r An Irishman, who was n»ar-»ighted, being about to fight a duel, insisted that he should stand six paoos nearer his antagohist than the other did Jo him, and that they were to fire at the some time. tt?" Never laugh at those who do not dress as well as you do. They may know • deal tpor? than Vou do-