Pittston Gazette and Susquehanna Anthracite Journal

              THE PITTSTOM GAZETTE, MB mmami iitmaoti mmm. I " ' 1 ■ 1 gca—BBHM, I I I II  ;li) 31msp)itr--( DrontA to Jirrns. lilmtm, fjrc Slirrrnntile, Blininj, JUttjianitnl, ani %irultonil Sntfrrsts of tjit Canntrij, SiBtrortimi, Stmtamnrt, ki. )«33t) ilfrjjnrt k  3 Week: PITTSTON, PENNA., FRIDAY, JUNE 13, 1851. $2.00 PER ANNUM. VOLUME 1.-NUMBER 45. EVERTS 8 CURTISS, WHOLESALE DEALERS IN FISH, ipsairflnr. LORD BYRON AND THE MONK. A Sncrer'i Troubles. To the Qirla. BY DOW, JB. McAllister, the famous Magician, was passing lhrough one of our markets the other morning accompanied by a frfehd, when they suddenly paused before an old woman who had n few dozen eggs to s»ll. " Are these eggs fresh t" inquired Mac. "Yaw, dey ish very fresh," was the rep'y_ Tha Magician and tha Marbat i?iiwOT®iii mmw $, FRUIT, OILS 8 PROVISIONS, A writer in a Into number of Eliza Cook's Journal, in giving a desciiption of Newstead Abbey, Lord Byron's torincr residence, relates the following : At the end of n gallery, a huge stone collin inet our gaze, wiih several other relics of the dead, such as bones, skulls, 8o,, which were dug up, during Lord Myron's residence at the Abbey, from under the flagging in the cloisters. It appears that atone time his lordship, had a strange fancy for this species of resurrectionizing and digging up of dead mens bones. But whether it was that he fancied-the thrifty friars had their Collins filled with gold before taking their departure from this worlds in order to jDuy their passage money, and sccure a rapid transition into the next; or whether he expected to find some more brazen eagles or, what would be still better, the great iron chest, filled with gold and jewels, that was reported to be buried or sunk somewlure either in the ground or lake; or whether it was a mere curiosity for seeking up antiquarian relics, I cannot pretend to tell, though report hints ut the uvo lormer motives. However, amongst other things, this coffin was brought to | light, and w ith it the skeleton of a inonk. A pale, melancholy looking man, of forty or thereabouts was brought upon the too common charge of sleeping out of doors. He did not look like a person of intemper. «ie habits, and the watchman inclined to the belief that he was not drunk at time he was detected in the ollencc of sleeping on the pavement. At the request of the Mayor, the prisoner told his story j and tirtHollo»ing is an outline of the singular narrative: Ladies, you caged birds of beautiful plumage, but sickly looks; you pale pels of the parlor, vegetating in an unhealthy shade with u greenish white complexion, like that of a potato sprout in a durk cellar —why don't you go out in the open air and warm sunshine, and add lustre to your eyes, bloom to your cheek*,, elasticity to your Bteps, and vigor tO your frames. Take early morning exercise—let loose your corset strings, and run up hill on a wager and down again fir fun. Roam in the fields, climb the fi nces, leap the ditches, wade the brook, and go home with un excellent appetite. Liberty thus cxereised and enjoyed will render you healthy, 1 blooming and beautiful—as lively as the Graces and prolific as Deverra. The buxom, bright eyed, full breasted, bouncing lass—who can dam a stocking, mend trou. sers, make her own frocks, command a regiment of pots and kettles, fed the pigs, milk the cows, and bu a lady withal in company—is just the sort of girl for me or any other worthy young man to murry ; but you, ye pining, lolling, screwed up, wasp-wnisted, doll dressed, putty-faced, con-iumplion-inortgagod, music-murdering, novel-devouring daughters of fashion and idleness—your are no more fit for matrimony than a pullet is to look after a family of fourteen chickens. The truth is, my dear girls, you want, generally speaking, more liberty and less fashionable restraint —more kitchen and less parlor—more exercise and less sofa—more pudding and less piano—more frankness and less mock modesty—more corned beef and less corsets— moie breakfVi-t and less bishop. Loosen yourselves a little ; enjoy more lib?rty and leas restaint by fashion. Breathe the pure atmosphere of freedom, and become something nearly as lovely and as biautiful as the God of nature designed. PkinTBD AND FUBLISIIKD WKJCM.Y BY O. .11. Kicliart 8 II. S. Phillip* and Produce ayd Commission Merchants, THE EMIGRANT GIRL. No. 24«, Fulton Street, near YVushitijjlon Market, New York. BY E. U.\DEK1I1LL. Gficc WcM side nt Main Slreit, second Story of the " Long Slore " of Wisner Cf- Wood. Upon a door-step** polished atone, Ilumelo«, friendless, and alone, She Kits unheeded und unknown; Her pidlid cheek and teur-di mined eyes, O- A E. would call the attention of merchants of Northern Pennsylvania to their extensive stock of Fish, Fruit, Oils anil Provisions, which they 'will sell upon as favorable terms aa any house in New York city. ■ami., r. evkrts, » CIUS. O. CIRTIiS. S The "Gazette" is published every Friday, at Two Dm.lak* ner annum. Two D»»U.aiis and Fifty Cenis will be charged if not puid within the year. No paper will be discontinued until all arrearages arc pat . Advertisements are inserted conspicuously nt Osk Dou.ta per square of fourteen lines for three insertions; and Twbnty-fivk Cknts additional for every subsrqu'-nt insertion. A liberal deduction to those who advertise for si: months or the whole year A tale of woe and sorrow told, And o'er lier meagre limb* hIih tries tier latlored garments to enfold. Tis vain! Alas! The piercing wind blown keen and cold. " I may try a few, I suppose, to prove them if I pay for all I break V "Yaw," said i he vender of eggs, and Mo- All ister immediately proceeded to break one.- March 28,1851-ly. " My name, (said he,) is Moses White. I am uii innocent man. My misfortune all arope from a habit, over which I have no control. It is sometimes said mockingly ntf boys, that they are 'very good when they are asleep.' That observation never could apply to me, for it was during my hours of slumber that 1 always gave most offence to my friends, relations, acquaintances and neighbors. Not to keep you in suspense, venerated sir, I snored, hideously, horribly, supernaturally. The combined racket of three saw.nulls and five cottou factories could not compare with the frightful din produced by the passage ol the air through my breathing apparatus while 1 refreshed myself with 'tired nature's sweet restorer. Ai the age 6feighteen, my father turned me out ol doors, de. claring that sucli villaiueous snoring could not be permitted in any well regulated family.GEO. W. BRAINERD 8 Oo. i 103 Murray, near West Street, New York' QUO. W. HHAINKFID, DAVID Btil-DKN. [Aug. 2, Down In the bosom of the deitp, Her mother sleeps eternal aleep— Forsaken child, well mny'st thou weep TIim trackless sou.—:he yawning cave., " Good gracious," be exclaimed, with feigned astonishment, "what is this?" and he picked out of it a $20 gold piece. The woman started in surprise. McAllister broke another egg—the woman eyeing him closely—when to her increasing surprise out dropped a 810 gold piece. The magician look up another egg, which he broKe, when out fell a §5 gold piece upon the stand. Or nil thj- gulden dreum» behold, WUh her Utey ouuk bene uh the wave— Above the darkling waters ro.ld. And now—alasf The piercing wind glows keen and cold. Job Work.—We have connected with our rutalilithraenl a well Delected assortment of Job Tvpr, which will enable us to execute, in the neatest style, every variety of printing. Being practical printers ourselves, we can afTuril to do work on as reasonable tenon as any other office in the county. All letters and communications addressed to the Gazette must be Cost paid, and endorsed lDy a responsible name, to receive attention. A. 8 J. WRIGHT, (Late A. Wright 8 Nephew.) COMMISSION AND FORWARDING .Here tin lit*, Oh, strangers! then some pity take. Your gentle sympathies uwuke, Or noun my throbbing heuri will break; To you I've made iny hx»[ appeal, T7nr sired Wharf\ Philadelphia. X3r Will reccirc and aliip nil kinds of Mcrchan dize at 50 c« nts per ton. 1'iiiladclpHia, March M, 1861—3m. To you my plaintive story told— Surely you have hearts to feci, Though deck'd wit® gems and shinglug gold. On mo—aiai I "I rather like these eggs," he quietly remarked, breaking another, and picking up a quarter eagle piece from among the ruins.—By this time the Dutch woman began to get excited, and taking her basket, exclaimed. Business Cards, etc James L. Sclfridgc 8 Co. FISH, PRODUCE, FAIRBANKS PREMIUM SCALES, L. W. CRAWFORD, Aoekt, Pittston Hardware Store. N. B.—Sold at manufacturcrt prices and warranted to be correct. [ Aug. 2, 1H50.—tf. Tlercing wind blow."* keen and cold. Her luft Appeal wna made in vain, She ne'er will ask your aid again— She's fur from sorrow—far from pain. A prey at length to Clcrk deapair, She rests beneath the quiet mould— The lieavenl) sheperd heard her prayer, S1iu'm gathered to his jtoaceful MCU- Wh. re no more COMMISSION MF.RCHANTS, No. 67 North Whuvn, ma* n« PHILADELPHIA AND GENERAL Another of ihc noble lord's strange fancies was to have the skull ofthissnid skeleton cleaned, mounted with silver, and made into a drinking cup. He then wrote the hull' n dozen stanzas, which are probably well known to the public, beginning: " I doesh not like to see mine eggs all prokes upon te ground !" " On nonsense, my good woman, what is that to you, so you get your pay, returned Mac. BKDD?§ 3S1SB3 CONSTAXTLT oh HAND AJ» ASloRTMtsT Of DRIED fc PICKLED FWH, Ac., rtr: MsckereL Codfish, Hams, Bnlmnn, Itltto Hih, Biiits, Pt,»d, Pert, PhouWon, II« TTDng, l.nrd, CMese, m.c. Plnl..Cl*!|2il», M«j30, tMl-ljf. " After years of adversity and vicis-«i-tud's, I succei dC d in establishing myself in u very good business. I paid my addresses to u lovely girl, wedded her, anil —alas! the genllt. crcuture ne'er complained, but I, wretch that 1 am, knew (u hat was wasting her away ! Sir, it is horrible, but the truth must be told;.my unhappy young wife was snored to dealli! I married again, and utter three weeks of nightly torment, my second spouse sued me for a divorce. She obiained one, by proving that it wus impossible for a woman to sleep in the house which 1 inhabited. I sold my furniture and took lodgings; but I never could remain in any bourding house or I otel more tlmn one week. My fellow lo«[gers, harrassed by my noctural discord, always arose en masse, and insisted on my' expulsion. Thus wus I limited from all sleeping associations, and wus constrained at last to take my soliiury nap, with no roof but the copc of heaven, over my head. Hut my fute had not done with ine yet ; lor while I was sleeping in a privute street last night, my snoring was so tremendous that it awakened this watchman, who was dozing on u bench half a squarooff. When they brought me to the station house, 1 snored the whole police force into a fit of delirium tremens, and if your honor sends me to the Tombs, 1 verily believe that my snoring will produce a fatal epidemic among my fellow prisoners." At WHOLESALE. FROTHINGKAM, NEWELL 8 CO The j ■ ii■ rui1wind blow kctu And cokl, Nmv Yosk, 1831. " At all events, let me have one more egg," and so saying he took another egg, which lie broke and extracted from it another gold piece. The woman now refused to sell any more at any price. Whereupon the magician and his companion, paying for the damage they had done, continued on their walk through the market. After some little time they returned to the scene of the egg exploit, when, to their utter astonishment, behold ! the Dutch woman had a crowd around her, and was smashing her eggs as fast as she could, but looking in vain for the gold pieces. (I.alc W. 51. Newel] 8 Co.) u Stan not, nor duetn my flplrll fled," HAVE tn.!(ii llie Cap.ieious Store \a.57 /ironlirnn, where tllry will keep nn extensive utoci of BOOTS nnrl SHOES of the host style and qunlity. which tliev offer on favorable term*. Merchants of tlie' W yoming Valley are particularly invited to call and examine our stoci. New York, January I, 1851.— tf. TIIE YOUNG WIDOW, and which were afterwards engraved upon ihe silver. The cup was shown lo us by the housekeeper, and with it the following somewhat strange and new story. Mind, I don't suy that we believed it, neither do I ask you gentle reader," to believe it—I merely tell you the tule us it was told us by the worthy woman's own lips. She assured us it wus universally credited by the whole household. The story is this : OR, ONLY THIRTY-THREE. HOLLINGHEAD, WHITE 8 Co. OT BiLSSMS S83SIEB3 A census taker going liis round last fall, stopped at un elegant brick dwelling house, the exact locality of which is no business o( ours. He wus received bv a still", well dressed lady, who could well be recognised us a w idow of some years stand- Wines and Liquors, No. 11 North Water street, and 38 North AND DF.4I.KRS IN EAGLE HOTEL. Wharves, Philadelphia. GEORGE LAZARUS, ja«i. M. iiot.Lispiiir.AD, PCTCK SIDES iug. On learning the mission of her viDitur, the lady invited him to tuke a seat in the hull. Having arranged himself into a working position, he inquired for the number of persons in the family of the ladv. My Courtship of an Aikansas G'rl. Feb. 1851 WU. t. WHITE. Aug. 8, PITTSTON, Pa. When Byron first dr»nk out of this cup, it was at a pany in the large drawing room. Some ludies were beside him, laughing talking, and enjoying with him the festivity of the evening. Scarce, however, had he raised the fatal goblet to his lips, when lo! ut the doorway appeared—"black, terrific, and in dusky garb" arrayed—the headless trunk of a human being apparently a monk. The Indies shrieked, fainted und as many as could hurried out of the room. Byron, however, boldly faced the spectre, and demanded of him his errand. Reader, it you ever have lived or traveled much in the Siute of Arkansas,'vpy must have remarked the .women are not of the ordinary stump in. regard to personal courage and spirit. Their very nature seems imbued with the greatness and the pride of the created things that God has placed around them. When I first went there, I was made acquainted with as fine a specimen ol woman—of \ rknnsas woman —as you ever saw. I came—I saw—I loved her, and once thought I had "conquered" her. My visits were frequent to her, and generally up to a pretty late hour of the night. Her mother—as fine a lady as you could wish, but rather large in dimensions—slept in an adjoining room, the evening to which 1 wish to refer (especially.) Log cabins are not very compactly built, and sounds can be easily distingushed from one room to another. Belly, for that was the name of my sweetheart, had repiprocated my ideas on certain points, to my content, and I had resolved to start home. Taking out my watch, I expressed surprise (as 1 always did,) at the lateness of the hour. She said she knew it must be late from the sounds. THEODORE VON DER LIPPE, House, Sign and Ornamental Painter. PRROT, HOFFMAX A Co, H®RWARDING. COMMISfOK MERCHANTS No. 41, North Wharves, and 83 North, Water Street, below Race 8t. " Why what is the matter, good woman," said McAllister. Vere ish de eggs mitde golt?" shrieked Pine Strict, Pittston, Pa " Eight sir,' replic d the lady, ding myself.' "inclu. Aug. 2,1850. the woman. PHILADELPHIA O. R. GORMAN, M. D. " Very well—your age, madam?" " Why, you don't know how to sort them —now let me see—I'll take this one." References. Respectfully tenders his Professional to the citizens of Pittston and vicinity. Office nearly opposite Ike Post Office, PilUton. Aug.2, 1N50. ly. " My age, sir,' replied the lady with a piercing dignified look, "1 oonceive it's none of your business what my age might be—you are inquisitive sir,' " No you shant," exclaimed the vender, snatching the egg and breaking it herself but with the same mortifying result. " 1 guess the good ones are all gone," suid the magician, "but as you havn't many left I'll take the lot at your regular price." Wykow 8 Co., Pittston, Fisher 8 Rogarduk. Wilkesbnrre. Franklin Platt 8 Co., Philadelphia Jan. 31, 1831.—ly* Dr. G. UNDERWOOD, Office in the Bui/ding of L. IF. Ciaxcfords " The law compels me madam, to take the age of every person in the world—its my duty to make I he inquiry.' Tltc monk approached, and accused him wult bitter words of his sin and guilt in thus removing from their resting place the the bones of the pious dead, and appropriating to sjcIi vile uses the skull of a fellow mortal who oncc thought, spoke and quailed the wine like himself. He concluded by foretelling him the place, day, hour, and all the particulars of his death, which—us the good lady assured us—all came to pass exactly as predicted. JolinCion, Well# A Co, MANUFACTURERS AND WHOLESALE DEALERS l.N Hard. H'arc Store, FiUtton, I'a Au0'. J, 1830. " Well, it ilie law compels you to ask, I presume it compels ine to answer. I am belwren thirty and forty.' Wiih a sigh, the woman consented, and handed over the basket. McAllister at once began to examine the eggs closely, und presently began to break them—one— (wo—three—four—each time producing a gold piece! The Dutch woman could stand it no longer, but seizing one side of iho basket, dashed her list in among them, io the uttor demolition of the entire stock. But alas ' not a single gold piece could she find. McAllister threw her one, to compensate her for the disappointment, and then slipp/d away—but not before the crowd began to gel an inkling of who he was, and to whisper, audibly, the name McAllister, the great Magician !—St. Louis Republican. C. F. BOWMAN, BOOTS, ATTOItNEY AT LAW. anil Real Estate Agent. Office on Main Street, opposite llie Foundry, I'itwton, Pa. Aug. *2, IH50.—ly. " I persume that means thirty five ?' " No, sir, it nionns no. such thing—I am only thirty-three years of nge.' 82TS3 8.m iLMTOBJi, No. 36 Courtlandt Street, (First door above the J\lrichat*IHnlel.) "Very well, irmdatli,' pulling down the figures, "just as you say. Now lor the ages of the children, commencing with the youngest, if you please.' He wus sent to the Tombs, notwithstand- W. JOHNSON, I t A. BKNNKTT, Jtt II. K WK1.I.S, C, N. YORK. \ C. Y. PIERSON. January 21. 1H5I. ly. WELDING P. DENNIS, M. D. Office nt J. D. Forniiiaii't Hotel, ing. —Pennsylvania Thus ends the short, but strange story. Hut this is but one in a hundred ot'thetiobgoblin tales which are told of this ancient place. Byron himself believed, or pretended he believed in a great many of them, and to one fabled visitant ctpegjiilly lie has given the most perfect sanction by his credence ; and caused him to bo recognized as a familiar inmate of the Abbey. This is the famous goblin friar, who is said to walk nightly through the halls and cloisters, and to have been seen by Byron himself on several important occasions, always portending evil. One of these occasions was ft short time previous to his un. fortunate marriage with Miss Milbauk. flow far this report is true, I am not prepared lo say. I]is lordship, however embodied the tradition in a ballad, in which he thus speaks of him : An Abolitionist at Fault. PITTSTON, PA August 16, 1850.—tf. "Josephine, my youiigest, is ten years of " 1 had a brother-in-law," said Mose Parkins, "jvho was oho of the ravonest maddest, readest hottest abolitionist you ever see. I liked the peSky critter well enough, and should have "been very glud to see him when ho cum to spend a day, facliiu' my sister to see me and my wife, if he hadn't 'lowed his tongue to run so 'bout niggers, and slavery, and the equality of the races, and the duty overthrown' the constitution of the United Stales, and a lot of other things some of which made me right mud, and the best part of 'em right sick. 1 puzzled my brains a good deal to think how I could make him shet up his noisy head 'bout abolition. EXCHANGE HOTEL, age.' ov, BIGGS 8 DOEBLER, J. BOWKLET A BEYEA, "Josephine—pretty name—ten.' sJ* Minerva was twelve lust week.' f " Minerva—captivating—twelve.' "Cleopatra Elvira has just turned fif. Coal Merchants, "Sounds! said I, listening attentively, but hearing nothing that interpreted her meaning. " Sounds, I don't heur any." Again 1 listened, but without success. Opposite the Court House, Offici C'rner of .Main and Rail Road. Streets, BLOOMSBURG, PA, PrrrSTON LyiSRNX County, Pa Anguit tti, 1650If. teen.' J«n 10, 1651 '•Cleopatra 121 vira—charming tiftcen.' " Angelina is eighteen, sir. just eighteen " Why, Mark," she said, "don't you hear Ma snore ?" and her face colored 'twixt anger and pride, at what bhe deemed my jesting. LATHROP 8 LUDINGTON, LEVIS 8 GORMAN " Angelina—favorite name—eighteen.' A Short Sermon. imi-ohters AND WHOLESALE dealers in Foreign and Domestic Dry " My eldest and only married daughter sir, Anna Sophia, is a litlle over twentylive.'NMnn'i k vnpor, Full of woe*, lie cuts 8 caper And down he goes." DRUGGISTS 8. CHEMISTS, " Is that your mothersnoring V exclaimed I, in utter astonishment. "I swear 1 have been all this time thinking it was from an up river boat, and wondered what the deuce made it so long coming round the bend! Your mother!" I wui going to say more, but I didn't, stranger, for as true as gospel, there was Bel making right at me, with her fist ready for the attack. I ain't no coward, hut I can't fight women, so 1 just incontinently sloped. 1 never have ibrgotton Betty, und i love her yet, but I dursn't go nigh her since that unfortunate No. 2 La Grnngo Block., opposite the Pot»t Oflice, Pituum, i'a. " Twenty-five did you sny, madam V Goods, NO. 16 OOURTLANDT STREET, (Opposite the Western Hotel.) BEG leave to nnnonnce to the citizens of Pittstun ni.d vi :iniiy, that lin y intend keeping con •tuutly on l.an I n large mid varied stock of 11 Yes sir. Is there anything reniarka hie in her being of that age ?' Genius has the power of condensing mighty truths into a small compass as is illustrated by the quotation which leads this article. Drugs and Medicines, of superior qualities, selected with gri at cure, and which they offer Wholesale and Retail, at liie lowest market prices We llatlcr •Dur»el*eg Irom our ability and the experience wchnve had in the Drug business, to lie able to render entire satislSction to those who muy I'avor lift with llieir custom ; and t those in want of such article* us are usually found in Drug Stores, we pledge ourselves to furnish them at u small advance on City prices, and of lis superior qualities as can be found in any other establishment in the City or Country. " Well, no, I can't Vny there is, but is it not remarkable that you should le her mother whi n you were only eight years of age V " Wall, one time when brother-in-law come over to stay, an idea struck me. I hired a nigger to help me in haying time. Ha was the blgg»st, strongest, greasiest nigger you ever did see.—"Black !" be was, blacker than a streak of black cats, and jisat as shiny as a new beaver hat. 1 spoke to him.—'Jatie,' sez 1 'when you hear the breakfast bell ring, don't you say a word, but you come into the parlor and set down ri^lit among the folks and eat your breakfast.' The nigger's eyes stuck riifht out of his head about a feet. V— 'lou're jokin : massa,' sez lie. 'Jokin' sez 1, 'I'm as sober as a deacon.' 'But,' sez he, '1 shan't have time to wash myself and change my shirt.' 'Bo much the better,' sez 1. Wall—breakfast time cum— and so did Jake, and lie sot light down long side my brother-in-law.—He started, but he didn't say a word. There waru't no mistake about it. Shut your eyes and you'd known it—for "he was loud, 1 tell you. There was a fust-rate chance to talk abolitionism, but brother-in.law never opened his chowder-head. *. n. t.ATiinop, i e. H. l.l'WNOTOV. { September (D, ttijO — tf. Kctv York. 1. Man's t vapor. About that limn the census taker was observed running out of the house, closely pursued by ii broomstick. It was the last time he pressed n lady to give her ex- This shows that man is forever puffed up by vanity; that his most mighty deeds and loftiest sayings are but wind; that when he talks 'lis ga-, when he y/txes eloquent 'lis fog; and when he becomes angry 'tis all smoke. When an heir is born he's heard to mourn; And when might is to bufull JOHN GILBERT A CO. That unci'.-ill lint-, in the* pule moonshine He walks from hull to hull. Wholesale Druggists, act ago No 177 North Third Street, A few doors above Vine Street, Eust side, UUW form you may trace, but not his face— Ti» shadowed by lib cowl; PHILADELPHIA. Curiosity of Newspaperdom. P. T Burnuni, Esq., manager of the Museum of llare Curiosities, is anxious to procure And the eye* may bu soon from tho folds between, And they *e«in of a parted soul.*' night. This is a graphic description of the condition of man.. Witness; corns, goul, toothache, hvpo, matrimony, and other innumerable evils to which flesh is heir. 8. Full of »oo». JOHN OILIERT, •Slt.AS H. WETNZ We will keep constantly on hand Pure White Lead—Warrant'd, dry and in oil; Tied I An,I, Venetian Red, Spanish H'rmen, Yellow Ochre, Chrome Green and Yetlaie, of the best quality ; Linseed Oil, Turpentine, Pear lash, Halter atns, Table or salad Oils, sweet Oil, Big Gun. Kind words in tho Family Joe Billings, a romancing Yankeo, was one evening seated in a bar-room of a country tavern in Canada, where were assembled several old countrymen, discussing various matters connected with the "pomp and oircumstance of war." " In the course ol his remarks, one of them stated that the British Government possessed the largest cannon in the world—and gave the dimensions of one he had seen. consT*nri.r on iund, a i.iboe assortment op Drugs, Medicines, Chemicals, Fullers' and Dyers' Articles, Paints, Oils, VSindoW Glass, and Puinteri' Articles Apothecaries' Glassware, Patent Medicines, Cf-c., if-c. August 30, 1850.— ly. A map or two from the Boston Atlas. A spare spar from the Baltimore Clipper. Son.e chips from the New York Post. A sample of honey made by the Boston Bee. There are few families, we imagine, anywhere, in which love is not abused as furnishing a license for impoliteness A husband, father or brother, will speak harsh words to those whom he loves the best, and to thoso who love him the best, simply because the security of love and family pride keeps him from getting his head broken. It is a shame that a ninii will speak more impolitely, at times, to his wife or his sister, than he would darn to any other female. It is thus that the honest afioctions of man's nature p o -y to be a weaker protection to woman in the family citcle than the restraints of society, and that a woman, usually, is indebted tor the kindest politenesses of life to those not belonging to her own household.—Things ought not so to be. The man, who, because it will not be resented. inflicts his spleen and bad temper upon those of his hearth-stone, is a small coward and a very mean man. Kind words are the circulating medium between true gentlemen and true ladies at home, and no polish exhibited in society can atone for the hard language and disrespectful treatment too often indulged in between those bound together by God's own ties of blood, and tile still more sacred bonds of conjugal love. This is another startling truth. Every man cuts a caper—some wise and some foolish.—He does not cut his neighbors capers, but his own ! and every one is known, by the caper he cuts, and we are taught that his final happiness depends upon whether the caper he cuts ia good or evil. But bo that as it may, his end is solemnly and impressively shadowed forth in the concluding line, 3. Cuts a captr. WA8SlilSSI8S, Wnttr Cnhrrs, a good a»soi tinf-nt of SvlSH TOOLS, Paint anil Varnish Brushes, Cf*c. Cf-c COOPER A VANZANDT, A signal from the Portsmouth Pilot. Some peclinus from the Sluuntou Spec' IMPORTERS AND DEALERS IN Foreign Wines and Liquors, No. 21 New Street, New York. The superiority of Smith's celebrated quick drying and polishing Varnish has been acknowledged, and consumer* may rent assured that it ha» no superior in the market. It is offered without adulteration, as itcomei from the manufacturer. later, An ounce of quicksilver from the N. Y Mirror. Joe's Yankee pride would not allow him to let such a base assertion puss uncontradicted.«. CUDOUPHUS COOPER, August iO, 1850.—ly, CHAS. A. TINZiNDT, JR. Aii assortment of the most popular and valuable Patent Medicines, Perfumery of acknowledged character, Tooth Brushes. Hair do., Nail do., Toilet Powders, Pomatums. Colognes Extracts for the handkerchief, Lip Salve, and every article suitable for Ladies' and Gentlemen's Toilets, will always be found. The drum on which the St. Louis Ileveil le is bt at. • The Broad seal of the Boston Common weulih. " Poh, gentlemen," said he, "I won't deny thai it is fair sized cannon—but you are a leetle mistaken in supposing it to be mimed the same minute with one of our Yankee guns which 1 saw in Charlestown last year. Jupifer! that vaas a cannon. Why.sir.it was so infernally large, that the soldiers were obliged to employ a yoke of oxen to draw in the ball!" " The deuco they were," exclaimed one of his hearers, with a smile of triumph, "pray can you tell me how they got the oxen out ?" "Why, you fool," returned Joe, "they unyoked 'em and drove 'em through the touch ho/e."-*-A//enlown Register. And down h*fOM I" H. A. GOULD A CO. WHOLESALE CLOTHIERS, 'Jake,' sed I, -you be on hand at dinnertime;' and he wus. He had been workin' in the meeder all the forenoon—it was hot as liicory and biliu' pitch—and—but 1 leave the rest to your imagination. The axe u»ed by the Dcinocrutic (N Tub Charm of ah Old House.—"I love old houses best (says Southey,) lor the suke of ihe odd closets and cupboards, and good thick walls that don't let the wind blow in, and -little out-of-lhe-way poly-angular rooms with great beams running across the ceiling—old heart of oak, that has outlawed half 8 score olgene rations, and chimneypieces with the date of the yeir carved above them, and huge fire-places that warmed the shies of Englishmen be* fore the House of Hanover came over. The most delightful associations that ever made me feel, and think, and fall a dreaming, are esciied by old -buildings—not so absolute ruins, but in a state of decline. Even the clipped yews interest me ; and if I found one in any garden that should become mine, in the shape of a peacock, I should be as proud to keep his tail well spread as the man who first charmed him." No. 221 Washington Street, Corner of , Barclay Street, A feather plucked from the wing of the Memphis Eugle. C.) Pioneer, To consumer* of *. A. aODLD. I K. ». OOULID. S NEW YORK Camphine and Burning Fluid, we beg leuve to say, that they will be supplied with the articles always Jrtsh ami irood, at the lowest CASH prices, anil no exertions will be spared to give the utmost satisfaction. Orders from Physicians will meet with prompt attention, and their prescriptions accurately coinpounded. Families requiring medicines may rest assured that care and attention will be given, at any hour of the day or night. For the convenience of otrr cnstomers wo have fitted up a Pfijjht Bell. In connection with the above, may be found a general assortment of Some Wibe wiro of the Columbia Telegraph.Wall—iu the arternoon—brother-in-law cum up to me, tnudJer than a short-tailed bull in hornet-time. *»* We invite the attention of Country Merchants and others to our full and desirable stock of Ready-made Clothing, which we offer at very low rate*. Merchants visiting the city for the purpose of purchasing Goods in our line, would do welt to give us a call before purchasing elsewhere. September 6, 1850.—tf. An answer to the Philadelphia Inquirer, A geological specimen of the N. Y (ilobe. ' Mose,' sed he, 'I want to speak to you.' ' Sing it out,' sez I One ot the eyes of the Baltimore Argus. A piece of the fringe of the Palmetto State Bunner. • I hain't but a few words to say,'sez he, 'but if that 'ere confunded nigger comes to the table agin while I'm stoppin' here, I'll clear out.' BELKNAP 8 GRIGGS, A ray from the Philadelphia Sun, and various other things loo numerous to Dilution.WHOLESALE GROCERS, Juke ate his supper thai night in the kitchen, but from that day to this, I never heard my brother-in-law open his head about abolitionism. When the Fugitive slave bill was passed, 1 thought he'd let out seme, but he didn't Jor lie tnow'd that Jake was tlill a workin' on the farm. AND COMMISSION MERCHANTS Fresh Air.—Take a plant out ofa green house into a field,,and ja less than a week it will commence growing wild and take liberties. Now, what's true of plants, is especially true of girls. Take a Miss from the city in August, and give her the run of the hills and clover fields, and in less than 8 month she will feel as rompy as a fawn. To cure young people of pale cheeks and heavy disposition, a dose of country air is worth more than all the medicine in the world. No. 252, Washington street, between Mur- Foreign and Domestic Stationery, Letter, Cap and Note paper Envelope* of various colors and sizes, Indelible Ink, Steel-I'en Inkwarranted not to corrode, Lead and 81«te Pencil*, Slates, School Books, Miscellaneous and Standard Works, Hymn Books, /Inutile for '51, Diaries for '51, if-c. Cf-c. November 22,1850.—tf. Long Noses.—Napoleon used to say " Strange ns it may appear, when I want any good head work done, I choose a man, provided his education has been suitable, with a long nose. His breathing is free and bold, and his brain and his lungs and heart, cool and clear. In my observation of men, I have always found a long nose und a long head to go together. ray and Robinson, New York, Chauncey belknap. | James M. Griggs [Milton, who was a subject of most persevering and eiuel slande'r, while hi* fame wan ripening says :— Fame and Slander. A full assortment of Teas, Sugars, Coffees, Mpi•es, Tobacco, 8c. Also, Butter, Cheese, Lard, and •rooted Meats, on Commission. Aag 2, IH50—tf. OiT Never trim the hair from the ear of your horse. It is placed there by nature to proteot the orifice and drum of the ear from insects and dirt, as well as sudden changes ot the weather. u Fune, If not double heed, la double-mouthed, A ml with contrary blast proclaims matt deeds i And both hla wings, one black, the other white, Bean gruutoet name*, In bla wild airy flight." The Icelanders. FRESH GARDEN SEEDS. A perioral assortment of Fresh Garden Seeds XXjost received and for sale by „ \ W. FERGUSON. March 21, 1851. In Iceland, if e minor commits a orime, the parents are immediately arresjed, and unless they oan prove, to the satisfaction of the magistrate.that they have afforded to theohild all needed opportunities of instruo. tion, the penalty of the crime is visited upon them, and Cft'14 C« instruction. DR RREINIG'S Infallible Headache Mixture, a safe and certain remedy for sick headache, and for all forms of headache except that arising from inflemation, for aale by Aug. », 1850—tf. W. FERGUSON. A man with a large family was complaining of the difficulty of supporting all of them. " But," said a friend, "you have sons big enough to earn something and help, you know." " The difficulty Js thry arc too big tm work," was the answer. This is the generalizing and distant view of the effect and bearings of slander, but Scribe, the dramatist, gives the more immediate and despondent view in this similitude :—"Slander is a coal, which blackens where it does not burft." B3r Dobbs says he kept such bad hours lately that he don't believe he would know ten o'olock again if he should tak« it by tb« hand*. The soientifio gentleman who expects to be able to raise colts from horse cbe«not8, is new in New Orleans, negotiating with the proprietors jslthe e8nal hsrm-bea? I—A superior article of Sanderson 4* Sons Cast StC?l. for sale at the Hardware Store for 'M CI*, per lb.; also English and American L W CRAWFORD JUST received 50 bbls. Mackcrcl, No. 1, 2 and 3, aaJ for sale low by ms.vKn 4- wood. R'pt 10, 1H50.