Pittston Gazette

              Oldest Newspaper in the Wyoming Valley. XSTABISHEI) 1850. D VOL. 5ai. NO. 458. i PITrsT'JN, Ll'ZERNE CO., PA., FRIDAY, MAY 20, 1892. A Weekly Local and Family Journal. i»1.5« PER AN N't* M. 7 IN ADVANCE. "May I l)« bold enough to ask the cause of the trouble?" of rest just in lime, for even Her superb health broke clown under the long spell of anxiety and distress, arid for a month she lay hovering between life and death in tlie "best chamber" of the quaint old house, tended by the  of nurses in the persons of Dame Barlow anCl her pretty daughter, while, after a time, their, ministrations were supplemented by the presence of Miss lialderstone, who somehow or other made peace with the yoeinanand gratefully accepted his permission to lDe enrolled as one of the loving attendants on the sick girl. them from the hall and does a roaring trade in the MeditD terranean ports. Mademoiselle is the proprietr , of a flourishing' talon Act kab.t» at Boulogne; and Leon Jobard fCE TALKS ON PRISON 1 iff fram has emigrated to New York, where he b °N PR,SON UFE FROM is undecided whether to invest the small VARIED EXPERIENCE, capital his uncle has given him in opening a tonsoriul establishment or in promenading at Saratoga or . Brighton beach in the blissful hope of capturing an American heiress, Then it was as though Habel was broken loosa. Ten minutes of the wildest confusion of tongues, and then a flight for the entrance hall, and in a quarter of an hour that gorgeous chamber was deserted. Hut you may tDe sure that Mr. Col burn, attorney at law. was tl»e.first to reach the streetnay. he did not even stay to escort his long line of daughters to their hired earring*'*—-in fact, he never stopped until hi- reached the grateful shelter of a Belgian city, where ho felt that the extradition laws shielded him from arrest. Months afterwards, whsn ho found that the Grahame family prid« was stronger than kheir sense of justice, he crept back to the lxDsom of his family, to sink eventually into the humble role of police court practitioner. KOVING BILL NYE. now known ns the United States, but yielding to the false and wicked Blandishments of free silver they at last were driven to poverty and shame, and gave up one after another the different states called doubtful till at last they were driven to Mexico and were succeeded by Pocahontas and Columbus. .ICVKES IN JOURNALISM. "You may. Mr. Colbnrn, the eminent solicitor of Lincoln's inn. had taken great trouble to secure a position for her in Canada, and at the last moment, she flatly refused to start, or to give any explanation of her obstinate conduct." RlumDr» Mad* In the Editor'* Sanctum That Rai»e a Smile. Much has been written of newspaper jokes, but there is an infinity of humor within the walls of an editor's sanctum which scarcely ever reaches the ears or tickles the mind of the public. Were many of the blunders which accidentally creep into reports before they see the light of publication allowed to go uncorrected, newspapers would always Le humorous, and more largely purchased than at present. friliiam Write* from Newark, O., About Glaawblower*. Altera ami JaiU—Open- The Aztecs obtained a good many good ideas from the Toltecs. some say, before they went to Mexico, and others after. At any rate, they were well advanced in some of the arts and sciences, though they were idolatrous and often sacrificed human beings to their gods. Here they also used very poor judgment. If instead of offering up their most attractive young i»eople, girls especially, they had used the politicians as far as they would go. the Aztecs would have been on deck today no doubt and the Montezumas would have been giv.jng pink teas on Pennsylvania avenue. "Sensible lass! Old England was good enough for her; bless her little heart, I like her ten times better for settin' her pretty face agen a journey to furrin parts." ing a Jar of Strawberry Jam la Not | THK KM) ] All Joy and Kapture. ICopyright. 1803, by Kd«ar \V. Nye.) Newark, O., is not as large in point of population or manufacture as Newark. N. J.. but it is a very good looking city, well paved, with wide, handsome streets, a certain number of miles of which are paved each year in the most durable style possible. A TALE OF ANTIQUITY. "But you forget, Mr. Barlow, that Kate Grahame had to make her way in the world, and—" No wonder then that in such comfortable quarters and under sucli lender A Vision of tjie Horrible Future Take* from the Past. The staff of the reading department of a newspaper office are compensated in the weariness of their work by the amusing errors which come under their notice while reading printers' proofs. What would have been thought of the following had it escaped the eagle eye of the subeditor and found its way into print, the effusion of a country correspondent: "At petty sessions, A  was charged with game trespass and B with assault. The latter being dead, did not appear." "Ah, marm, I see—thee made her feel cure the flush oatt to Kate's The primeval forest! [CONCLV DED. I how you came into that cave temple. I see the whole thing now as clear as daylight, for about a week ago one of the natives told me that A shun Ghooli, the young chief, had surprised a small party of strangers in the woods, consisting of two natives and one European. that the white man was dying of the jungle fever, and that he had carried him to a hon.se in the woods where he had hidden away a girl with whom he is living contrary to the 1 • - of his father. As the fellow only mentioned it to me as an illustration of the "young cli ief's generosity, I thought he was relating something that happened months ago." that—an' that's why the sweet maid left thee." cheefea, and t'u* e!.i'-.ti if." to her stop, though when the llrr.t Hurry C•{ snow bore the ;:Ud tii'.in.rsof the :k-ui t: pproacb of Christlii.'-K the yeotnan much mui- Rank and luxuriant grew the vegeta tion that sprang into being under the ardent rays of a tropical sun. Tall, stately trees waved to and fro in an atmosphere of perpetual summer, and down through the shimmering vistas and leafy glades rose to view dense jungles of clinging plants that strove to mount to the blazing sunshine overhead by winding in tangled mazes about the trunks ami Iwanehes of the forest monarehs."Oh, Mr. Barlow, how can you lDe so cruel to me'.' I tell you I loved the girl like my own sister, and, though 1 was angry with her and might have said some unkind words in my ve* ation, 1 never thought—" CHAPTER XVII. KIT IN TIC WILDERKES3. What passed at that awful interview between the brother and sisters no one knows: but late that night two muffled figures of sobbing women were driven hurriedly to Scarborough house and the next day her ladyship left I/ondon for the retirement of her husband's country scat, where she has since lived in a state of the most rigid seclusion It is whispered that she has become a religious devotee, and that spe will { never mingle again in the gay crowds she was wont to adorn. Newark has also a glass works. We visited this institution. It is not devoted to the manufacture of cut glass, but mostly to the construction of the prosaic beer bottle of the work-a-day world. Can any little lxDy or girl who reads this tell me how a beer bottle is made? "Campignon!" "Dunbar!" Both men epoke simultaneously. Yes, it was indeed Campignon, though Arthur might hare been excused from recognizing him in his present state of squalor, his only costume a straw hat and a sleeveless tunic. There was hardly a spot on his body that was not discolored fcom a blow or a scratch of a thorn, but his eyes blazed with a 4erceness which showed the fury that was raging in bis breast. There was something tragic in his manner as he said, pointing to his weals and cuts: It is estimated that the Aztecs sacrificed over twenty thousand people annually to their gods, notwithstanding the fact that these gods liad repeatedly shown their total inability to attend to things. History tells nowhere of a more inadequate set of gods than those employed and paid by the Aztecs. The Aztec god was also a complete artistic failure, being excessively plain. He was also very unsuccessful socially. All tjfc he could do snccessfully was to accPpt the bleeding sacrifice of innocent school children, look pleasant and scare the farm horses. "That her'd a had the spunk to take thy sneers in earnest. Like a woman, thee did na think that a word can cut as sharp as a whip-thong—but, tell me, did thee hear nothin' of the poor lasa since her went away nigh on a twelvemonth at.'*'*?" An excellent example may be quoted from a r?port handed in a few days ago, which must have been hurriedly written. It was descriptive of a county council election, and birth was given to a new species of ornithology, for "the successful candidates were followed by a large crow(d), which loudly cheered." It was only a few weeks ago that a Highly respectable Midland journal announced that an admiral "was buried with musical honors." Happy four footed denizens of the trackless wilderness leaped from bough to bougli in the careless abandon anCl wild, unchecked freedom of nature's own children, chattering, with the flowing, nnkempt locks of a modern virtuoso, their cheery, ceaseless, staccaic music: and in the ecstatic warbling of the feathered songsters that flitted about in the topmost branches of the tree* there was no melancholy premonition of any long, bewildering series of farewell concerts. "Yes. about a month ago my maid met her in King's road, Chelsea, and she gave her an address in the neighborhood. She said that the poor child was looking so wan and miserable that—" As -for Miss llonoria, she went into' lodgings at an obscure watering place j in Devonshire where she is much j respected for her aristocratic bearing ; and her consummate skill at penny whist. "And the natives—my brave boatmen—did you hear anything of their fate?" Dunbar asked, eagerly. "Yes," said Campignon. "they were | allowed to go to the coffee plantations some hundred miles up the river." "Thank Heaven for that! Now rest awhile, my friend, for I must return to Sir Harry." It was lucky that he had resolved upon doing so. for hardly had he reached the veranda than a runner came at full speed bearing a missive from Capt. Archer addressed to him. It was written with lead pencil on a leaf torn from a pocket book and read: "Tbe fugitive has got the start of us, and it is likely to be a longer chase than I anticipated, "That fiend, Archer, shall pay dearly for this!" "Archer!" "That what?" The fortress near Newark is only one of several peculiar earthworks regarding which we have no anthentic history. They may havo ljeen erected bv the Aztecs, the Toltecs or the Wood tees. No man can tell. Only a few have tried to do so, and thoy did not know. "Yea. But remember I am a fugitive. All that 1 ask is that you will give me arms to defend or avenge myself: quick, there is not a moment to be lost." "That I got the better of my pride and wrote to her imploring her to return to mv roof." CHAPTER XX. THE FALL OF THE CURTAIN. By far the most common form of typographical blundering is the insertion of one letter in place of another. Not long since a newspaper, reporting the danger that an express train had rnn in consequence of a cow getting upon the line, said: "As the safest way, the engine driver pnt on full steam, dashed np against the cow and literally cut it into calves!" There are many farmers who wouldrno donbt lDe glad to know when that engine driver is to be on a train igain. "Thee did, inarm! Well, that was hearty o' thee, an' more like what I'd a thought Miss Balderstone 'ud a done. Well, what did the maid say?" There is joy at Willougliby farmhouse. Of the hundreds of Christmas dinners which have been eaten beneath that hospitable roof, none was ever half so glorious as this. From the depths of a somber avenue of impenetrable greenery, whose dark shadows invited the weary to repose, the stertorous breathing of a disturbed sleeper broke upon the pulseless air. Arthur glanced at the baronet. He bad relapsed into his former air of languid indifference, not even looking at the strange scene being enacted in hia presence. "She never answered my letter, and of course after such contemptuous treatment I could not—" Newark has the most desirable jail in the state of Ohio, and possibly in the United States. It is built of cut stone, in a modern and artistic manner, with a beautiful porch, handsome lawns around it, and in every way resembles the dwelling of a wealthy merchant instead of the calaboose of a city. JOHN BARLOW MAKLS A CAM, At one end of the table sit# tlie master of the house; at the other, Sir Harry Urahame, supported b.y Kate Grahame. Miss IJalderstone, Dame Barlow aud her daughter, Arthur Dunbar, and u handsome, stalwprt fellow, who has been introduced by the exultant yeoman as "Nellie's young man," and whose cheeks are yet crimson with the novelty of his situation. Mile. Cam- Dunbar was always quick in action. doubted that her bird-like voice would swell the sweet carols on that glorious festival. Then a voice rang ont through the solitudes: "Follow me to my chamber," he said, "the last place they will ever think of looking for you." "Of course thee couldn't! My! what a heap of dignity goes to the make-up of even the best of women. But, will thee give me the address, for mayhappen 1 shamot be so easily angered by '•Oh. I have had such a horrible, frightful dream!" In the retirement of the room which Arthur occupied, which was by a good chance at the very back of the long, low bungalow, separated from the main for we have learned that he la making for the CHAPTER XIX It was the father of the family who spoke. river by the very path you came by. As It may be even a day or two before I return, let me earnestly beg you will take great care of 'Sir Harry,' for, poor fellow, he inay have an attack of emmotionat paroxysms. If so, and 11 you cannot manage him, do not hesitate to send for aid to the village The two coolie-servants In the house are no better than a couple of old women. Do this for me and you will find that 1 have both the means and the Inclination to reciprocate the favor. Frank archer." "CALL t.AOV SCARBOROUGH'S CARRIAGE. OPENING THE STRAWBERRY JAM, Crimin lis come here for hundreds of miles to lDe incarcerated. Men contemplating crinDe try to arrange it so that the offense may lDe committed in Newark and themselves silho. It is certainly one of the most neat and attractive jails that I have ever seen, and 1 have made jail life a close study for years. While in France I visited a facsimile of the old Bastile, which had been reconstructed exactly by a French architect. Mistakes are not always the fault of the compositor; they frequently arist. from illegible writing on the part of those who supply "copy," or from reporters failing to catch the exact worila used by a sjDeaker. The late Mr. John Bright was generally heard with perfect distinctness in every corner of the house of commons; but on one occasion, when bo spoke of "attenders of clubs," these her." Meanwhile a grand event is agitating the upper circles of London society, which is none other than the splendid ball to be given by the Countess of Scarborough and her sister, Miss Uonoria Grahame, tbe joint heiresses of Sir Harry Grahame. in the lirahaine mansion, which has been magnificently refitted in honor of the auspicious occasion—the public declaration that their period of mourning for their deceased brother is past, and that they are now ready once more to enter into the gay whirl of life among the * upper ten thousand. Securely embowered in the modest yet primitive habitation to which he wasac customed to repair when weary of society and its demands upon him, he had laid his tired head down to rest, and sleep had descended upon him. In the first place, different ingredients are fused into a red hot molten mass. Ignite a lot or ingredients are useu m the manufacture of glass, and I would love dearly to tell my readers all about it, bat just before 1 left the works 1 promised the owner of the factory that 1 would not reveal the process of making glass under penalty of being boiled in soap at low tide and afterward used in a Chinese laundry, so 1 think it is better to simply describe the making of bottles as briefly £8 possible. At the proper moment the glassblower inserts a long, hollow brass tube into the molten mass of salt, soda, sand, etc., which goes to make glass, and turning it aboat in the midst of it withdraws the tube, on the far end of which is a gob of red hot glass. The blower now rolls this gob over a sort of table covered with oil or something of that sort, meantime standing at a respectable distance from it, for it is quite hot. Then when it is properly shaped he drops it by nreans of the tube, but still attached to it, into a mold which he cau ojten and close Impressing a lever with his foot. "Willingly, Mr. Barlow, and I hops you will be more successful in restoring the young lady to a proper frame of mind than I have been. Perhaps, after what has passed, you may deem it impertinent if I ask after your wife and daughter." pignon might have felt shocked at this miscellaneous gathering, but .K-lthcr Miss haldcrMtonn nor Sir Hurry (iralininc set-in to notice any incoi- "It was horrible!" he repeated, with a shudder. Though his heart was beating with a This was in Miss Balderstone's highest style of Minervalike dignity. sisteney in it Kate (Jrahame is the only one present whose happiness is dimmed by conjectures. ller prince, her hero, the idol of her childish dreams was dead and is alive again, and her heart beats exultingly at the thought, but—ah, these buts—there is another now even dearer to her than this demi god. "What was it?" inquired his faithful companion soothingly. wild, exultant delight, Arthur Dunbar managed to dismiss the messenger in a cold, indifferent manner, giving him a letter to carry to the treacherous Englishman. "I will take the greatest care of 'Sir Harry,' " he wrote, "so make your t.;ind aristocratic gentlemen appeared aa "vendors of gloves." "Thee knowest I will not. Wife Deborah be fair to middlin', an' Nellie, my little Nellie's goin' to be married." "Yet it was only a dream!" he ex claimed, trying to shake off the gloomy impression it had made upon his excited sensibilities. "Only a dream—but how yivid!" The Basilic* was built in 1H70 by Charles V. It was the state prison. The stones of the old Bastile are now used in paving the streets at the forks of the road in Pari*, called the Place de la Bastile, or where the Place runs into one the Rues. Paris is flit* greatest tC D\vn for Rnee Another orator, speaking of the Ita*. ian struggle, said: ' What do the Italians want? They simply want to he a nation." "What do the Italians want?" said the report. "They simply want to be in Asia." How exultingly the farmer gave this latter piece of information. "Aye," he added, "to be married to two hunderd an' forty acres of the best arable land i' the county of Surrey!" And the high anticipations of the He passed his liand across his eye* shook himself and said; quite easy." votaries of fashion were not doomed to disappointment. It was the ball of the season, and the wonder was that though December's chilly winds were howling in the streets, anil all great personages were supposed to be away at their ancestral halls, there was hardly a refusal, and my Lady Scarborough had been very prodigal of her invitations.Now. what if her king demand hi* own? What if the man who rescued her from a life of infamy, who surrounded her young days with luxury, should claim her life allegiance? He loves her—she feels that his affection for her is deeper than that of any guardian for his ward. What If all this be true? Then, in sick despair she knows that she must give up her selfish dreams of another and never let him know the sacrifice she makes. Nor did he rush with his good news to Campignon; for he knew that three hours' sleep on a tolerably soft bed would be a godsend to the exhausted Frenchman, and prepare him fcr the prompt efforts they must make to escape."Listen. I dreamed that countless ages had rolled away, These grand old forests had vanished, and ugly rows of dirty brown and gray dwellings covered the land. Narrow (tassages called streets, paved with slippery granite blocks or bottomless with mud and slime, crossed each other at right angles. The dwellings were dark, gloomy, tall and a clcrad of smoke hung over everything." that I have ever seen. _? ■* o J - •» ' - 1 ' " €D  / J A journal once announced that a company of policemen marched down a street, "dressed in blue and white gloves." The reporter who attended an inquest at which a verdict of "death from recent hemorrhage" was recorded, concluded his report by stating that the jury returned a verdict of "death from her recent marriage.-' "Surely," Miss Balderstone said, smiling through her chagrin, "you are not making a sacrifice of your daughter's happiness—you speak so strangely about her marrying the land?" When Campignon heard what had occurred his eyes flashed with joy. "We arfe saved!" he said. "But first let me give you some idea of the geography of the place. Where we left the little lake the river goes north for nearly fifty miles, and then turns again in a southerly direction; so, by crossing along the land path we really traveled over the base of a triangle, and we are now about five miles from its bank, where the village is situated. Thence it bends and its course lies in a northeasterly direction, right into the heart of the civilized region of the coffee plantations. Do yon not see?" "Not I, indeed. Why, there's a fine, young, handsome fellow as belongs to the land—Willie Westlake—as her is goin' to wed of her own dear consent come next Yule Tide. Precious sight better than throwin' hersen away on a froff-eatiir Krenotimaa, b«u't It aow, Miss Balderstone?" CAMPIOKON'S RETURN. Why stop to describe the magnificent ball-room? They said the flowers alone cost a thousand pounds. The Guards baud discoursed ravishing music; servants in the most critically correct livery flitted about the great hall, the supper room presented a seen' like a glimpse into a fairy palace; ai.J as for the ladies' dresses. I, a mere man would not Clare the profanation of o de scription of them. A well known paper, which has a large circulation in North Wales, reported that a man who had been recently married had been ' presented with firearms" instead of "fire irons;'' and another paper, in the same part of the country, urged its readers "to take a retrospect of the future." A gentleman speaking of Mr. John Bright termed him "the Gamaliel of Birmingham," but a certain newspaper said he was "the gamecock of Birmingham."—London Tit-Bits. Beginning*. body of the building by a passage, the exhausted man briefly told his adventures."Did anybody live in the dwellings?"" inquired his sponse. How tremblingly, then, when the mighty ineal is ended and the - guests scattcr to make preparations for the evening festival, she accepts his invitation to stroll with him down the elmtree avenue. Opening this mold he lets the rosy gob fall into its open jaws, closes it with his foot, blows gently into it through his long tube and then removes it at once a complete bottle with the exception of the rim or nozzle, which is put on the top of the neck by another man. ' "I was on guard at our camp in the wood when you missed me," he said, as be threw himself into Dunbar's bed. /'And doubtless my absence caused you much surprise and anxiety. Well, it all came about in this way. Just before dawn, 1 heard voices in tbe distance, and, calling the dog to my side, I set forth to discover the cause of this unusual occurrence. I had not gone far, when I came across a band of Cingalese, headed bv a European, making straight •for the camp, where you and the coolies were asleep. 1 knew it was useless to try and escape them, bat I thought 1 might by the sacrifice of my own liberty afford you a chance to escape." Dunbar's eyes were moist with tears, as he grasped the gallant Frenchman's hand. "Thousands—hundreds of thousands' They called it living. Cooped up in these boxlike structures was a multitude of the strangest looking creature* imaginable. Pale, emaciated, some with hair on their faces and some without, they trooped down the horrible street* in the morning and back in the evening. They walked upright, to be sure, and some of them carried sticks in their hands, but seemed to have no use for them. One-half of the population seemed to be two legged. These two legged creatures did not dress alike. Some of them wore high, shiny things on their heads, held burning things that smelled villainously in their months, had loose coverings about their bodies, wide, flap ping garments, with creases up aud down them on their legs, and black, glistening things on their feet that pinched and made them liuip. Others of these two legged creatures were dressed exactly alike, and sometimes they would walk along like machines, two or four abreast, looking solemn and forbidding, while a few smaller ones in front pounded round things with little sticks and made a horrid noise. It was one of their ways of amusing them Miss Balderstone confessed it was, and drove away, angry with the farmer for his plain speech, and yet not altogether satisfied with the part she had played in the little drama of Kate Grabamc's sorrows. "My child!" lie says, so gently—oh, how her heart sinks at what she calls her base ingratitude—"I have two matter* I wish to discuss with you—our futures." It is quite a trick to obliterate the seam made on molded glassware, aud workmen who can do this get a little better price for it. 1 am told. As the reader knows, perhaps, the glassblowing fraternity is better equipped for controlling wages and prices than any other trade in the world. Only so many apprentices are admitted each year, and the foreign and domestic glaseblowers have a mutual understanding so that wages re main good, and very likely always will, and yet there are no strikes necessary. The next day Farmer Barlow, dressed in his bright brown coat with gilt buttons, a very florid neck-tie, a yellow striped waistcoat, corderoy breeches and top-boots, looking, I am free to confcss, very much as if he were in costume to play the heavy father in an oldfashioned comedy, took his way to 17 Andalusa terrace, Chelsea, which ha found to be a squalid row of house# struggling desperately to be genteel, but having alxDut them that indescribable air of destitution which clings tQ dwellings n.s well as men. A proud woman was Lady Searborough that night. Born to tbe purple, "Yes; but how on earth are we to reach this haven of safety?" jhe had never till then tasted t!uC dolight of reveling in extravagance without the anxiety of considering the cost. It was to her a moment of thrilling ecstaey, and her eyes shone as brightly as the family diamonds which Hashed on her round"id neck. People wondered a little, sird 1 am afraid my lord swore a good deal at her ladyship's admitting the Colburn family into the magic circle of which she was queen, but the most critierl only attributed it to "dear Lady Scarborough's marvelous good nature," and did not grudge the attorney's wife und daughters the enjoyment of their sudden elevation. lips. "Yes," she whispers, with white "Anil selfishly 1 will be (fin with myself. My long life of adventure must end in the usual story-book fashion by my taking to myself a wife." Judge (to witness)—Then yon wer« present at the beginning of the quarrel between the married conple at the bar? Witness—Certainly, yonr worship: that was three years ago. "Throw ourselves on the mercy of Ashnu Ghooli, my boy!" CHAPTER XVIII. JOHN BARLOW SPKAKS HIS KIND. "I know," she said, standing and looking at him with tearless eyes, frankly and truthfully, "I will do njy best to make yon happy. 1 am very young, and I am afraid not very wise, but I will be a true wife to you. Sir Harrv Grahame." PRISON' STUDIES. Judge—What! so long back as that? Witness—Ye6; I was one of the guest* at the wedding.—Lustige Blatter. "Miss Balderstone, I've knowed thee for well-nigh fifteen year, an' I never thought thee'd ha' turned the little maid adrift to win her way in this big wilderness of a London, wi' never a friend to help her hold her pretty head above water, an' dangers meetin' her at every step. I tell 'ee, I never thought thee'd a done it, marm."' The Bastile had eight towers, five stories high, in which prisoners could be confined and be entirely cut off from the rest, and even the prison authorities did not need to know they were there. This factory also makes the various kinds of fruit jars used in putting up t'ruit. 1 bought a dozen and a half of these frnit jars, hoping this season to pnt np w*me lterries for home use and possibly some for the market, also a jar of jell for the pastor. There is a new jar, sort «f a self sealer, which works on the principle of the lieer bottle, with a rubber stopper and iron fastener, which by pressure with the thumb ojDeus or closes the top s» that when closed it is as air tight as the best old fashioned frnit jar, and even more so, it is said. "So to call their attention to me," Campignon continued, "I fired a revolver and made a dash for the woods, crying aloud, as though urging others to flight. My ruse succeeded. In a minute they were in hot pursuit: but I led them a long dance before I finally fell into their clutches." Pnttlng Hlin to the Test. Schaumburg—You have called me a swindler. If you don't take that back this minute I'll make you smart for it! lie had no difficulty in finding the number, and his heart sank as the door opened and a disheveled woman, wiping the soapsuds from her arms, for 6he had evidently just left the washtub, asked him what he wanted. "My dear girl, what are yon dreaming of!" the baronet cried, amazed at her confession. Then with quick apprehension, fathoming the nobility of her sacrifice: "But, oh! child, child, what a noble spirit is yours!" Here literary people who had written pieces for the papers over the signature of "Veritas" were incarcerated for weeks and months and years, only to be at last beheaded by the light running and noiseless guillotine. Those who sassed the administration were gathered in by means of the letter dr Cachet, and that was sufficient. We should be glad and proud that we live in a land where one can have not one trial alone, but seven or eight, together with an arrest of judgment and executive clemency. Liefermann—I never take anything back! The speaker was John Barlow, who stood by the side of a low pony car- And it was a proud moment, too, for Mr. Colburn. It is not permitted to many to rise to such giddy heights from his humble start in life, and his bosom filled with conscious pride. Schaumburg—Never? Then lend m« ten florins.—Komische Welt. "How brave! How generous!" was all Dunbar could say. "Youve a young lady named Miss Grahame staying here," the farmer suggested, blandly. "And," she said, with panting eagerness, "you do not want to marry me!" Winter I'rartlcs. "By Archer's orders I was earried to the village, and after undergoing indignities I will not shock your ears by reciting, I found myself doomed to a fate "I don't know about there bein' no ladies in this house, but there's a young woman on the fourth floor, back, as takes in sewin', and as her name chances to be (Iraliame, perhaps it's her you're lookin' for—hope yer are, I'm sure, for she owes me three weeks' rent, an' a pore lone widow woman like ma can't afford to have no young person hangin'around the house, even if they 16 call tlieirselves ladies—'tain't to b# expected." Nay, it was even whispered that a prinee of the blood royal would be present, and the company was kept in thrilling suspense awaiting his advent, each late arrival causing1 more craning of necks and hushed conversations than is customary on such occasions. "Not I, indeed! You ever have been and always will be my own dear daughter. The woman I would make my wife is Hester Haiders tone." Belvee." "How &bont the other half of the population'/" "They wore their hair in front just like yours, my dear, with little shapeless things on the backs of their heads, and garments that came down to the ground and scraped the streets. I could not set that there was any other way of cleaning the streets, but it seemed to me a poor way. The garments were always dirty at the bottom and the streets never got any cleaner. These creature* seemed to have two feet, the B&me at the other, but I was not sure. Their bodies were pinched at the waist, and when they walked along they appeared fo be always in danger of breaking in two"  unendurable if it were not the hope of escape glimmered in my brain —a paddler in one of the great wareanoes in which my brutal captors make their expeditions of piracy. We had just returned from a marauding excursion to a peaceful village forty miles up the river, when the blessed chance 1 had so often dreamed of came. Sickened with the scenes of rapine and bloodshed I had witnessed, crazed with my own sufferings. I was desperate, and the headman was a fool to strike me when this mad mood was on me, for the blow had hardly been given than I sprang on him—for I seemed in my frenzy to have the strength of ten men —and struck him so fierce a blow that I believe I killed him—I hope to heaven I did." "Miss Balderstone!" the girl's tears were streaming down her face. "Oh! I am so glad." I put up a jar of strawberries one year myself, according to a receipt which I read in The OalUled Plowman, a paper which I have taken for years. I noticed as the glad Yuletide approached that the corner of the jar seemed to have a convex appearance, bnt I recked not. The Bastile was destroyed by the French revolutionists July 14. 1789. and aow it is the great national holiday. July 14 all the French yeomen and alliance people throng the streets, bringing their lunch with thern, including a long, black bottle of sour wine, with which they fill themselves in a wild anil ineffectual effort to get intoxicated. My lord had just whispered into my lady's ear that his royal highness waf actual I v on his wav from the pa lane, and triumph was blazing in her eyes when the groom of the chamlDcrs in a loud, sonorous voice announced: "Glad, eh! Well, you are a nice yonnCf woman, certainly," Sir Harry smiled, "to rejoice at such a confession from the man you have just offered to marry. Well, dry your eyes, and let us get to the second subject of our interview —yourself." Tom (to Jim, who has rolled Harry np in a snowball)—Send him in red hot, Jimmy, I'll knock him out de first lick widout hurtin a hair of his head!—Life. 1 had some difficulty iu starting the lid of my fruit jar, as the pressure from the inside was greater than I liad wotted of. By and by. however, there was a low, hissing sound like that made by a steam radiator that has been cornered; then 1 noticed a strawberry halo around the chandelier. "Can I see this lady?" " 'Course yer can. Go up to the top of the house—fourth story, second door on yer right. Guess the seuiii'-machine man's up there now, an" I wish yer'd tell her that if the gcn'loman is drove ter take the machine away, an' she loses the means of gettiu' her livin*, out she jroes bag and baggage." "Sir Harry Grahame and Mr. Dunbar!" "Oh! let me be out of the question for awhile." On this day also the beggars and cripples of France are {terniitted to invade Paris, and one will see a greater assortment of excrescences and deformities than in a New York hospital iu a lifetime. Remunerative abscesses and incurable sores are brought out on the lDeautifnl boulevards, and the Champs JSlysees swarms with beggars whose limbs are so crooked that they seem to be trying to "limb up their trunks. Odd and whimsical wens start out from these jteople on the slightest provocation, and curions wounds are utilized to rake in the centimes. One man had a lmllet hole in his 'trachea, or windpipe. By closing his mouth and nose and inserting the mouthpiece of a bngle in this hole he yras able to play a tune pretty well, and he seemed to have a crowd around him most of the time. Disgrace*! Forever. I saw once in an old picture gallery in Germ an j- a painting which was irrer sistibly thrilling—a banquet hall, and The Boston Symphony concerts have become, in a way, sacred ceremonials, at which even those not born with a musical ear must assist in becoming fashion. One Friday afternoon the two littl* daughters of a certain family returned from the music hall ' in a state of mind." One of them was evidently scornful and the other depressed. "Till you recover your disappointment at not being Lady Urahame? Nay, stop, my dear, I am only in fun. But, see—suppose a certain young gentleman, with the classic name of Arthur, were to ask you the question I am going to ask Miss Balderstone this very afternoon, what would you say?" "Don't say anything more about them. Jocko! It is too horrible! Who were these creatures?" Once, also, I read a receipt in the same paper telling how to preserve eggs for winter so that they would taste like a new warm summer day in a clover haymow. ( was to pnt the eggs in bran. 1 believe, either with the large or the small end down, after varnishing them with ihellac or gam copal, and then set in a dark place. Where the man who wrote the receipt erred, 1 think, was in neglecting to tell how to properly open the eggs for use in winter. He should have said that they ought to be opened on a deserted fair ground by means of a revolver at thirty paces after obtaining a burial permit from the city. THE SPEAKER WAS JOHN BARLOW The farmer reached the girl's door just in time to hear the end of an animated discussion carried on in male and female accents. "I dreamed, my dear," he said, with a shudder, "they were our descendants!""And then?" riage talking to a lady, his honest face aglow with anger. "What's the matter?" asked some one. "Wasn't the concert fine?" "And then, without a hope of escape, I flung myself on the scowling wretches who crowded round me. and should have been a dead man in another minute, when help came from a quarter I little dreamed of." "Good gracious, Mr. Barlow," replied the lady, quite taken aback by the yeoman's ungracious reception, for she was on a visit to a friend in the neighborhood and had driven over to make a call at Willoughby farm, quite unconscious of the yeoman's sentiments regarding her conduct. "What do you mean? Are you speaking of that unfortunate girl, Kate Grahame?" "I do not know—I mean I—' So saying, he wrapped his tail on the limb be)ow, swung himself to the ground, and -with a dismal wail he disappeared in the trackless jungle.—Chi- Chicago Tribune. "Oh, please, you must not, cannot take it away," the feminine voice pleaded. '"I have paid you six pounds, and only owe you sixteen shillings. Pray have a little patience. I am sick now. hut shall soon get better and will pay you every penny." "Well, spare your blushes. I see him coining, and shall leave him to your mercy; but, oh! Kate, do not trifle with him. Ilis is a noble heart, lie may not boast a proud patrician name. but. Kate, my child, Dunbar is one of nature's gentlemen." "The concert was all right," said Ethel superbly; "I don't complain of the concert!""Then what did go wrong? Something, I'm sure." "Helpi" Paving th« Way. "The amount of the matter is," said the young lady, looking haughtily at her drooping sister, "that Mildred has disgraced herself. She sneezed in the mid* die of the symphony!"—Youth's  panion. "Aye, just as my strength was spent, a grand, tall figure of a man who looked to me in my need like some angel sent from Heaven, dashed between me and my enemies and bade me flee for my life." "Let go! 1 tell yon, let go!" the hoarse voice of the man cried, "the machine is forfeited. Let go, I tell you or I'll—" He was (fone. and in his place there stood the man she loved. "I be," was the stolid reply. "And do you mean to say that you think I have treated her badly?" "Kate, dearest Kate," he murmured, "1 have come for my reward—your priceless love." He tol«l me tlmt he was very thankful because a kind Providence had provided hiui with stich a convenient slot, as it were, for people to put their francs and centimes into. At Newark it is the custom of the youth to attend the various entertainments at the opera house without paving any admission. I spoke there to a large and intelligent audience. Most everv one was stiellbound and delinhted beyond measure. The speaker went on it some length to speak to the audience in a terse way, expressing himself in wonderfully beautiful language, some of which conveyed ideas. Every one was pleased and delighted. "How strange!" , What he would do the world never knew, for at that instant the burly form of the farmer darkened the doorway. Harlow did not stay to consider how he should open the discussion, but plnnged at the hapless agent, grasping at one handful the msin's ear and the long locks contingent. Thus he dragged him, shrieking with rage and pain, to the stair landing, when one kick from the fanner's heavy shoes sent the poor wretch headlong down the stairs, his crics and ctirses mingling with the landlady's screams. She had no words, but the trustful look she gave him set his heart at rest. He ff«i Slie. "Not so. It was just the chiefs son who was giving me a life for a life—the man we eaptnred and set free on the .bank of the Quagla." "Then, you know nothing about the case, or you woaia not say so. i am almost too provoked with you to offer yon an explanation; but ! know what an honest, good-hearted, stubWirn man you are, and—" "I do." They have strange chambermaids at Shepherd's hotel in Cairo, says a lady traveler. The one who waited on onr room and attended to all the various duties of the calling, even to the making Df the beds, was a Frenchman, dressed as if for a dinner party (white waistcoat and dress coat) and having the air of a refined and educated gentleman. It is really embarrassing to accept of his services in such a capac;ty. One of the ladies, on arriving at '.ne hotel, rang for the chambermaid. This gentleman presented himself. Supposing him to be the proprietor or his chief assistant, she expressed her wish to see the chambermaid. He very politely replied in the best English he could command "Aladame. she am I!" -—Church man. Winter grain is looking especially well in Ohio, and the green hillsides r.re dotted with bright new lambs. The coming summer bids fair to be the best that the farmers have ever experienced. Three weddings in one day at the little ivy-clad village church was enough to turn the brain of the quiet country folk—and one of the grooms a real, live baronet! It was a red-letter day long remembered in the annals of the hamlet. IIow the bells rang! How freely flowed the brown October ale at Willough by farmhouse, for the yoeman would, despite entreaties, keep the marriage revel in the olden style; but as the parties most concerned left early on their wedding tours, their bliss was not much disturbed by the prodigal show of hospitality. "SIR HARRY GRAIIAME AND MB. PCX- "And you fled directly here?" •"I knew not where I went. It was 'blind good fortune waich brought me to your side." BAR! Here Miss Balderstone's voice became a little tremulous and tears foroed themselves into her eyes, an expression of emotion which considerably discomposed the tender-hearted farmer. every guest by the hand of a cruel magician turned into a stone statue, standing in the exact position they were in at the moment of the terrible incantation.Is "And perhaps even now he is suffering for his humanity," Dunbar said, with a chivalrous thought of the young chiefs dancer. In the midst of the speaking there was a slight noise heard overhead and a boy's leg was .«een to suddenly burst through theceiling and agitate itself through the brilliantly lighted atmosphere. The incident attracted a great deal of attention and mautD a success of the entertainment. It was heartily enjoyed by one and all, with the exception of the boy, who will liave to get another pair of trousers, it is thought. "Dang it all, martn," he said, bluntly, "doan't begin a bellerin', for I cannut stand a woman's tears—just tell me in two words what has become of the maid, an' if you dunnot want to aid her yoursen, put it into an honest man's power to give her a helpin' hand." Here was a living tableau of the German artist's quaint conceit. Every tongue was stilled; every form was motionless; surprise seemed to have paralyzed that vast assembly. 'Not he, indeed!" Campignon replied, •onfidently. "They would not dare to harm his father's son, for the old chief Uaru Ghooli would take a life for every drop of his blood they shed."  "But he—might not he—" "Ah, you do not know. The chief himself is gone down the river to intercept us—the very man, in fact, in command of the canoe we met just befort we entered the lake." Yes, in this bare, miserable garret stood Kir Harry Graliame's heiress— beautiful as a Madonna, but with all the sunny brightness faded out of her winsome features. Tears rolled down the farmer's cheeks as he grasped her Hryuml Thy prisoner was before the polict jtidgr- in a certain town in Michigan, which shall lie nameless litre for th* •ake of the judge's family, and a {Dolice man stood beside him. I/ord Scarodcll, Harry's old colonel, was the first to recover his presence of mind. He had been standing at Lady Scarborough's right side whispering compliments in her willing ears, and he was the first to notice her ghastly stare at the two men approaching her. It was just his daughter's weddinR tour which was the one little disappointment amid all his joy, fo^- whilst Sir Harry and Lady (iraliamgwere bound for Scotland, and Arthur  was bearing his bride away to America, Nellie and her "young man" had started for Paris. Young Gentleman (drops on his knees at the feet of a lady)—My dear Miss X , our respective fathers having come to terms on the money question, I now venture to inform you that I love you to distraction!—Saphirs Witzblatt. "I do not know—but. oh, Mr. IJarlow, you must—you shall bear what I have to say." bands, "What's the charge?" inquired the judge, with dignity. "My birdie! My poor, lost, foolish birdie!" he cried, as he drew her to him. "Disorderly conduct, your honor," re(ponded ths guardian of the peace. One glad glance shot from her eyes, and she fell fainting into his arms. Newark has one wonderful feature. It consists of an ancient fortification and numerous Indian mounds of uncertain age. The fortification must be many centuries old, as there are trees growing in the embankment and in the moat which are several hundred years old, no doubt. Inside the fortress there is now a race track, and the whole is used as an incloeure for a fair ground or agricultural exhibit each year. Slie Had Written Everything. She stepped up to the editor's desk demurely and said: "Well, marm, if it 'nil ease thy conscience to tell thy story, say thy say wi'out more ado, an' let me gan home to my dinner." "What was he doing?' "Archer must have paid these people '.faeavily for such aid," Arthur mu&ed. Then you should have seen the vagaries of the sturdy farmer. He roared for help, and first almost terrified the landlady out of her wits by his denunciations of her inhumanity, and then drove her frantic with joy at the glittering heap of shillings and half sovereigns he poured onto her lap. You should have seen the big basket of delicacies he fetched into that cheerless chamlDer; you should have witnessed his burst of joy when the doctor told him that if he would only moderate his transports, and not excite the patient, he might remove her to Willoughby farmhouse that very night. "1 am right glad to see you in the flesh, Harry Graliamc; but by the Lord, your dramatic entrance is ill advised. Look at your sisters, and—" An Kiuoauraaalng Calculation. "Singing 'Comrades,' your honor." "Do you want any writing done?" The weary editor looked at her and said: "Yes." said a society lady the other night at a swell West End affair, "I hive crossed 1he ocean eleven times." Of course everybody in the courtroom expected the prisoner to get at least sixty days, but it was not to be so. The judge, instead, innocently inquired of the policeman: "Tea. indeed; and I heard that in addition to his rewards he has given the Chief substantial aid in hushing up a complaint which has been made against liira to the British government." Miss Balderstone's face flushed with indignation. "I bean't satisfied wi' this new-fangled nonsense of young married folk racing over furrin parts. I' the good old days a lad brought his lass home, an' there was an end on *t; but p'rap* it's all for the best, for when Nell an' her man has lived for a week or two oq frogs' legs an' sour wine, they'll come back wi' a keener relish for English beef and mutton and wholesVme homebrewed beer." "Von write poetry. I suppose?" "A year ago she left my house at Kensington of her own free will—nay, I might almost say surreptitiously," she began. "Ah, yes; I see—overcome with joy, my lord, at once more beholding their long-lost brother!" Grahame said, his lip curling with ill-suppressed contempt.The smart young man adjusted his monocle and said: "Yes: I have written a little poetry. I have also written several short stories, a novel and a play." "Ah! Born abroad?" "What,'a 'Comrades?'" and the cojD fainted.—Detroit Free Pre**. "What a scoundrel! Now, Campig- Jston, let mft relate my adventures to you ;»nd then you shall have a few hours' seeded rest, which you can indulge in without fear, for I will lock the door, and no one but myself ever comes to this part of the house after the coolies .have put the chamber in order." "Because if you were born in this country and crossed the ocean eleven times you would now lie on the other side, dontoherknow?" "No, indeed. Why do you ask?" "1 beg your pardon," said the editor, catching his breath, "but is there anything you haven't written?" "I dunnot know what surreptitiously means, but f? it means that Kate Grahame did anythin' to shame her, 1 vvunnot believe it of the lass—so, there you've got it!" Then, turning to the guests, he said with brief courtesv: Some think that this fort is the work of the Aztecs. Of course no one can tell accurately, though a great many scientific men come here, look wise and go away to write the whole thing up and settle it for all time. 1 presume I have just as good a right to my theory as any one else. I am the author of the Aztectheory. I have made a study of the Aztec people, and the Montezuma family is as familiar to me as my own. Better to Bear the 111* We Have. Excited Citizen (at the office of the gas company)—1 don't care what the meter says! I didn't burn one-third the amount you've got charged against me! Cashier—Perhaps there is something wrong with the meter. We'll send a mm dowr, and have it put in good run* ning order. "I don't believe there is." she said confidently, yet shyly, "Yon see I am .t stenographer and typewriter, and 1 do a great deal of work for literary gentle- WD»" \V««)iinprfnn Star _ "Ladies, my lords, and gentlemen. I thank you for gracing my home with your presence, and 1 hope that you will not let my sudden arrival iuterfere with your pleasures. May I plead par- The lady figured a moment on the tips rf her pretty fingers, blushed and fled.— I t. Louis Republic. "I mean that she left unknown to me." Nothing was ever heard Capt. Frank Archer. Whether he perished in the wilderness, or settled down among his wild associates, is a mystery. Certain it is that he lias never shown his face in the haunts of civilization. I,'ENVOI Then the young American in terse aentences related the incidents of the past month. "An' hadna thee done notliin' to make her think her biding wi' thee wasna agreeable?" As for Kate Grahame, she was too weak to offer any opposition, and, like a sensible girl, without an effort of remonstrance yielded to his tender solicitude. Poor girl, she reached that liaveD don for the absence of my dear sisters, who, I see, are counting the moments until they can in more privacy display their joy at my return." I.abor Item. "Doing anything now, Billf "Oh. yes, I'm kept busy all the time." "Ah. glad to hear it What are you doing?" "Looking for a job."—Texas Sittings. Mrs. Brown—Do you think yon could learn that lesson if 1 gave you ten cents? Evrir Man 11a* Hi* I'rice. Excited Citizen (hastily paying the bill)—Don't do that, for heaven's sake!— Chicago Tribune. "f can clear up one mystery," Campignon said, when Arthur had finished bis graphic recital. "I c%n tell you "We certainly had a little trouble, and perhaps my manner was not as cordial as usual." Little Johnnie—No, ina. But I'm rare I could if you gave me a quarter.— Epoch. He turned as he spoke, and taking a Hand nf ult.hAr womnri latl Capt. Campijjnon sails his own brig My theory is that the Aztecs once owned and operated the entire country Finning'* l)ra; Stor*.