Pittston Gazette

              ■?!£"£«"'-HEM Oldest NewsoaDer in the Wyoming Valley. prrrsTox, luzerne cu, pa., Friday, February 26, 1892. A Weedy Local and Familv lournal. I "L'llIZZ:" troubles lay dim and far away in the past. She was not destined to tread her path alone. Even in this world, with all its sad pretenses and bitter disappointments, "the voice that breathed o'er Eden" may still be heard and true ihearts can still come together. • • • • • » • • COM4 OF FIRE. " 'What for?' " To follow that thieving hound until 1 find bim.' $ftRftHD0UDNE\ OVER THE BOEDER. I tares and tlie cold, white bosom of the slumbering earth. WHY THE BIG MAN SH VERED. A Grimy Fireman's Story of HI# The Canadian Pacific has its latchstring hanging out for one and all. The passenger agent at London came to us and wanted to sell tickets to onr company. consisting of Mr. Burbank and myself. We said that other roads were competing for us, and that we were wavering. So he said that if we would travel by his road to Detroit, a ride of over three hours, he would , transfer us there to the Michigan Central, pay our hotel bills while in Canada, furnish us a year's subscription to London Punch, with key to same, and a pair of beautiful pictures by Rembrandt entitled "Wide Awake" and "Fast Asleep." We accepted, and now 1 will get Punch regularly at my home. The hninor of Punch is very soothing to me. Compared with the peppery wit of the French and the insidious, surprising and stimulating humor of our own country. English humor reminds me of boiled rice. Boiled rice taken in moderation isn't going to hurt any man. It furnishes an excuse for the gestures of eating and rounds out the abdomen to a degree—to several degrees, in fact—yet it does not excite one. Before He Hart This Trouble He Wm Chiefs Romance " 'And then?' M Brave ax the Brarest. lives.' "Then, oh, my Godl End three BILL NYE WRITES FROM CANADA The big man had been entertaii/ing me with some of his adventures as the train sped along. He had traveled all over the world. He had been wrecked at sea, captured by pirates, held up by road agents, led out to be shot and lota of other things, and he could relate particulars in a highly entertaining manner. He was a six footer of excellent build, and he didn't know what fear was. AILI10A1) men are much the same us other peopl e, with joys and sorrows, through the woof of which always runs a tragic thread, though very few people, even of the traveling public, ever think of it." said a stalwart, grimy fireman, standing beside a ponderous locomotive that was "The last words came out with a hiss like that of a snake when ready to strike. THAT HE IS INNOCENT, "It seems to have been decreed," said Mrs. Villiers, resignedly, "that one of my grandsons should marry a person of low origin. Of course, I have not been consulted!" His Clothes Just Fit a Custom House " 'Think of your mother.' " 'Will you get me the revolver?' ' 'No.' Officer—An Experience with Razors. Staying at a Hotel Kept by a Pop- ul:tr Man. " 'And you call yourself a friend. There's the door. Get out" "Well, granny," remarked Adeline, who was hovering near her with bright, mischevious eyes, "I think you must admit that his own heart was & safer counselor. As yet, you see, you have not been a successful matchmaker."In Canada Without a Crime, ) February. J (Copyright, 18tB, by Edgar YV. Nye.l "'But, Ed.' " *Get out!' One of his stories was about meeting three footpads one night in Detroit. They jumped out at him suddenly, and all had revolvers at full cock, but with his good right fist he knocked them about and killed two outright. He had "'See here. Ed; listen to reason.' Once more 1 have evaded the customs of a neighboring country and the etiquette of m mighty dominion. 1 have never been the slave to the customs of my own country; why should 1 submit to those of a province? little was said on either side. Michael tried to utter some words of gratitude, but he was still too weak to bear much. After one or two attempts to speak, ha grasped Aaron's hand in silence and turned away. They never met again. "At that he sprang for me. 1 am no infant, as you see, and handling two or three tons of coal every day is apt to take all flabbiness out of a fellow, but I had all I could do the next five minutes to defend myself. Neither of us said a word after we clinched. At the end of that time Ed cried huskily: 'All right, Tom, I give up.' Both of us were ready to sit down. It was long into the night before I could argue him out of his insane project. J ust at the turning point there was a feeble knock at the door and Mrs. Jackson entered. an imploring cry 6he stretched forth h«r arms. Ed sprang forward anfl I left. The clamor cease*.!; he saw and heard nothing more till he woke at length from a long spell of unconsciousness. He was no longer in that ill-omened room *ith the vaulted roof, but in a homely chamber of larger size, with a low ceiling. Some one had been bathing his face, and when he tried to lift his hand to his bead he found that the trembling fingers were too feeble to be of any use. An elderly woman came gently to the bedside and spoke in a kindly tone that he seemed to remember."Am I to have my misfortunes cast tip in my face?" demanded the old lady, her cap ribbons quivering. "Am I never to see anyone belonging to me making a decent marriage? If you were not thoroughly heartless, Adeline, you would be a little sorry for a disappointed old woman; and if ygu had more softness in your nature you would forgive Claud and make me happy yet." just finished this story when we drew up at a station where we were to wait twenty minutes for dinner. We wera going out together, when he suddenly pnlled back and sank into a seat. He turned so pale that f anxiously asked: "Do you feel ill? Are yon in pain?" "It's nothing—go on!" he whispered. "But let me get yon some wine or something." *n .T ACKSON LAT DEAD. tell you before 1 go how freely I forgive you for the pain yon once inflicted Yon won't think me harsh to say that when I tell you I have found we were all wrong from the first, and I most of all It wasn't to be expected that a gnarled fellow like me should hold the love of a pretty girl. Like mates with like, child. You are absolved from all CHAPTER XIX. "Ton asd roc so cross shall part." A year passed away. Aaron and Jane had married, and were living in a cottage near the mill. Both had often written to remind Olive of her promised visit; but the visit was not paid yet, and the happy pair said to each other that it was strange to find Olive still clinging to Ixmdon. No doubt it seemed strange to them, absorbed in their own simple bliss, that she should know peace among crowds. Nor could they realize that balm sometimes grows in-the very path where the thorns have torn our feet. We do not always find healing afar: blowing off steam in a spiteful way while waiting for the express. "2iow there's the case of Cd Jackson, who was buried two years ago to-day," continued the muscular giant, as he wiped a spot of oil from one of the polished rods with a bit of waste. "He was called a hew for saving a trainload of passengers. So he was, one of the grandest, in my opinion, the world ever knew; but bow many were aware of the real untold tragedy that underlay that action. Mind, now, I don't say that all railroad men are heroic or that their lives are all tragedy, not by any means. Some of the happiest homes yon can find in the country are under the roof-trees of railroad men who wear greasy blouses most of the time. "No, granny." The bright eyes were suddenly grave. "I would do a good deal to please you, heartless as I ant supported to be,, but I cannot marry a man who very nearly cheated me out of a true love." "No—no! I'm better now. It's just a faint spell. You go on alone." "Lie still," she said, "you Jiust use my hands till you get stronger." blame.' It is so with English humor. I have known men to apply themselves to English humor for several years and thin out thejrjdood that way so that they prolonged their lives for a long time. A Canadian yesterday spoke to me of John Bull's drink bill, and showed me a little chart, which I give herewith, showing the comparative sizes of the bills in England for liquor, bread, milk, tea, coffee, cocoa and education. He said it was creating a great deal of discussion among the politicians. "The next day Ed appeared as usual to take his engine out bilt it was a different fellow from the one we had known forty-eight hours before. The face was pale and stern. The langh ip the gray eyes had given place to » set, hard look. From that time on Ed seemed possessed wth an insane desire to keep employed. He was always the first to apply for extra duty and frequently would take the run of some fellow who did not want toga out. Though he never referred to It in words I knew he liked to have me with him. and so it came about that we were even more together than before. " 'And yon do forgive me, Ed?" cried Kitty, seizing the poor, calloused hand in both her pretty pink palms. He was crawling back when 1 left him. I didn't remain away over ten minutes, and t'found him reclining on a seat and shaking like a man with tba ague. I It was Mrs. Hooper, who was nursing 'him, and he was lying in the best bediroom of the old inn. The slow hours dragged along at a sluggish pace; Jie could only obey the kind mandate and lie still, for he was too weak to move, and eren thinking was almost beyond his powers. Yet he felt himself surrounded by friends, and now and then sense of gratitude would struggle through the dull calm. So days went on. and he lay in the humble village inn in helplessness and weary peace. *' 'J list as freely and fully as I hope to be forgiven by the Great Judge before whom 1 shall soon appear. But 1 loved you dearly, always remember that, won't you, sweetheart—I can tell you that now." "That is just one of your harsh speeches," Mrs. Villiers said, irritably. '"Claud would have made a kind husband. He would have let you go your own way." "Say! man. I'll call a doctor for yon! You've got a bad chill." "From the spere of our gorrow." "Never mind. It's only transient. Just bring me a glass of water and keep quiet." April bad come again; and the old Savoy churchyard teemed to gather all the freshness and sweetness of spring within it# narrow boundary. To Olive, the place was a sacred poem, breaking into the prose of busy life. The grass was green and soft under the trees; there was a twittering of birds among the budding boughs, and round those ancient walls that were sternly watching over their garden ground. Sternly, and yet kindly, for the girl used to think that the old chapel had been a silent witness of the strife and suffering of centuries, and must, therefore, have a mysterious sympathy with the children of this generation. "I don't want to go my own way, granny, if I am married," answered Adeline, turning' upon her with flushing cheeks. "We will walk side by side, my husband and 1, or I will have no husband at »ll. Oh, I am not so proud as you think me! I am even willing to go— "For a moment the eyes closed and a feeble smile hovered about the paling lips. Then, rallying his strength, Ed continued: 'The old mother, Kitty, you will not forget her?' He shivered and shook and his teeth clicked together, and I had become serionsly alarmed, when the train began to move on. One minute later the colonel sat np and began to look like himself again. In two minutes there wasn't a shiver left. I was regarding him with astonishment, when he kindly said; "Sit down. 1 owe you an explanation. Did yon see that chap sitting on a box near the dining room door?" "About Jackson. Well, it may interest yon. lie was an engineer on the N. & O., when I joined him as a fireman. He was one of the oldest in service on the line.' Though a fine mechanic Ed was not much to look at. Nature seemed to have a grudge against him, for after giving him an undersized, stocky body, she added a stiff neck, which made him carry his head a little on one side. How he ever came to catch the tency of such a pretty girl m Kitty ijoore was a pnzzle to a great many besides me. Their families had been neighbors for years and they had always been more or less in love—at least. Ed had. Kitty could not help seeing that he had a heart of gold; then there was a snog bank account, no small argument, for Kitty came from a forehanded race and had a practical little head on her shoulders. Sho loved him, too, but with no such love as Ed poured out on her. He seemed to feel that it was asking a groat deal of a handsome girl like Kitty to tie herself down to sueh an unfavored fellow as he, and it made him try the harder to brighten the little spark of love into a bigger flame. VVe roomed together when on the road, so I came to know considerable about the love affairs of the two. % r-va While he was lying there things were going on much as usual in Eastmeon, and every one in the place was acquainted with the story of his rescue from the burning room. That is, they knew the outlines of the story; but only Jane Challock and Mrs. Hooper knew all Chat Aaron could tell. And it was Aaron who had saved Michael's life. " '1 will care for heras I would for my own mother, Ed. if she will let me.' 'Down on my knees And tbank Heaven fasting for a gowd man's love, "Nothing had been heard of Kitty or her husband. They dropped out of sight. Her people may have heard of them bnt they never said any thing. " 'She will, dear, she will. Tom will tell her I wished it so. There is enough in the bank to keep her like a lady, but hhe will be all alone when 1 am gone, you know.' I have just rearranged my trunk and tucked carefully back into it the thrilling narrative of a rich slumber robe which fluttered in the Canadian breeze all the way from Windsor to London. Cuntom house officers do not know how to repack a trnnk after they have kneaded over its contents, and they shut the lid wrong, so that it takes six men and a P. K. Dederick derrick to open it after one gets at his 'otel. A CT.KAN SHAVK. when that love is offered to me; but I will not thank Heaven for the mere semblance of a lover." "One day late in the succeeding summer we were waiting at Mud Creek Junction for a train on a connecting line that was a few minutes late. Ed took the opportunity to tighten np a bolt or two. I had finished oiling and was leaning lazily out of the cab window, when I heard the rattle of a carriage coming up the conntry road. I turned in that direction and saw it was occupied by a gentleman and lady who seemed anxious to make our train- Something made me give a second look at the lady It was Kitty Moore. If I had not been braced against the seat 1 should have fallen. She was talking animatedly and did not notice the train. " "Oh! Ed," cried Kitty. 'If I could only be in your placet' "What, a little dried up, humpbacked, redheaded man, with a red goatee?" Mrs. Villiers sighed profoundly. "When is this—this disastrous event going to take place?" she asked. "Jane," he said, "I can't tell you how I hated him when he came upon us on the bridge. I had wanted to meet him face to face, and I had my will. I thought of all his baseness to the poor girl in London, and if yon had not been " 'Hush, child, you don't know what you are saying. It is better so. But, Kitty. 1 will wait for you over there. I shall be the first to greet you, however many years it may be before you come —and 1 hope it will be many. Perhaps then I will not be tied down by this "The same. I just caught sight of him in time." "Don't talk as if it were a dynamite explosion," 6aid Adeline, recovering her good humor and laughing. "Try to take it pleasantly, granny. It is coming oft on the first of June, and it will bo the prettiest wedding ever seet). Seaward has arranged that four of his lit. tie models—lovely children—are to be bridesmaids. He says that while he has been painting child-faces lie has studied child nature and has learnt a great deal from these little friends of his." "You don't tell me you were shivering on his account!" She had come, as she had often done before, to sit in the churchyard on a Saturday afternoon and enjoy its greenness and quietness. The birds seemed to be singing to her to-day, and a voice answered them tn her heart. She remembered how she had once come here like a sick child, tired and worn with pain, and the influence of the place had calmed her spirit. She loved every blade of grass, every rugged stone in the gray walls. "I was. He's my brother-in-law, and has sworn to lick me. 1 was scared half to death for fear he'd seen me." crooked old body. 1 can't talk—any more—one kiss.' I carry with me a change of linen and underclothing while traveling, and have never before found a customs officer who seemed to think these things would tit him. So 1 have escaped. But this time it was different. I saw right away when this one looked at me that he was just my size, though less intellectual. He had the same long, swanlike throat, which looks so well in full dress with a string of red coral beads around it. He had also the same boneless tentacles for limbs that I am using, and his feet undulated a good deal. "Look here!" 1 said as 1 rounded on him, "I thought you told me you had killed about a dozen men, and had been through a hundred perilous adventures." "The soft arms were thrown about the noble head, and not one, but a dozen kisses were dropped softly on the pale lips. "Yes, yes, I told you so, and it was all Gospel truth, but all those things happened previously, you know." "For a moment Ed lay like one dead. Then the heavy lids opened 'Kitty.' " 'Yes, Ed.' "He is full of fads," muttered granny. "My first thought on recovering from the shock of surprise was for Ed. I started to jump down and call him ont on the other 6ide. Who was it said: 'Man proposes and God disposes?' As | rose Ed clambered out on tbe side near est the road. At this moment the valve on the steam dome popped off. This startled the horses attached to the carriage, Kitty turned and her eyes met those of Ed. Her face was the color of your handkerchief. For a second they were face to face. Then the horses dashed forward and the oarrlage with its occupants was hidden behind the depot "Previous to what?" And then she began to think of the chaplain, and of his influence over her life. She recalled the very moment when she had looked up and seen him standing by her side. What was the secret of that personal power of his? It came partly from his intense sympathy with every phase of humanity, a sympathy clear and pure as a stream of living water. Like the stream, his mind oould adapt itself to any channel, and could run as brightly In a narrow course as in a broad one. Then, too. there was the grace of perfect breeding, and the "Well, | like his fads," returned Miss Villiers palmly. "1 am looking forward quite eagerly to this wedding, and I believe, granny, that you are longing to see it yourself. Don't deny it; you are fond of anything in the shape of a show." THE LITTLE CHAHT. Yes, 1 said, I had heard that they were at lagerheads. Being under the British flag seems to affect my mind. I think. "To my having the grip. I had it powerful hard last fall, and when 1 got over it I was a changed man. No more fight—no nerve—no grit. That very little redheaded apology for a man' chased me three miles!" " 'Keep close hold of my hand, dear. I want to feel yon near me as I go down to the dark river. It is only a minute, and then it will be so bright on''the other side.' 1 am very neat about arranging my trunk, and so he seemed to think many of my things were new just because they were tidy. My method of packing a trunk was acquired at Heidelberg. When 1 want anything out of the trunk 1 upset it on the bed and thus find it readily. A week ago we stopped for a night at the Banting House, after a long, hard ride in the palatial slumbering car Insomnia. The Banting House is kept by one of those popular men who are not good for anything on earth but just to be popular. When we came in he welcomed us by extending a breath to us across the register upon which we hnng our overcoats with impunity. At first 1 did not know why he drank, but after 1 had been at table i saw that anaesthetics of some kind should go with every steak. Everything was neat and clean at the Banting House. The pale, sad wife did the beet she could, but Banting himself did the buying, and that's why the steaks didn't yield to climatic influences. "I will never look on while a grandson of mine makes a fool of himself; and I am too old to go to shows." "Kitty took the nerveless hand in both her own and held it close, while the tears rolled down her cheeks. Then, came a faint gasp, a tremor, the great heart ceased to beat, and brave, laving, loyal Ed Jackson lay dead, while around the cold lips hovered the shadow of a trustful smile. "Well, that's mighty queer." "It was along in ths summer, three years ago, that I first heard Kitty's name mixed up with that of a traveling man from New York. He had met her at a party in Shoe town, and from the first was very attentive. The boys tried to joke Ed about it, but he paid no attention to them, so implicit was his trust in Kitty. What I heard led me to keep my eyes open, and I soon saw enough to give me apprehensions of future trouble. The man was dead mashed,' as the boys say, on the girl. She, like all pretty women, was not disinclined to a bit of flirtation, though whenever ■ber new admirer was around she was doubly affectionate to Ed. He was supremely happy, and, ohl so proud of his little sweetheart. The wedding day had been settled and Ed was at work fitting up a pretty home About a month before the date fixed for the marriage we were ordered out with a special that would keep us away several days. That morning Kitty came over to see us off. I thought she had never looked so pretty as she did standing there on the platform taking to Ed, and occasionally sending a sauey look up at me in the cab window from under her sun umbrella She remained until the last minute, and when the signal was given to start, to the surprise of both of us, for Kitty was very chary about "Yes, sir, very queer—very queer. I can't understand it, but the doctors reasoned it all out. I'm no fighter now, sir, but if you want me to tell you how 1 slayed six Indians in a heap previous to my having the grip I will cheer"  But I didn't. 1 just gave him the cold shake. It hurt his sensitive feelings, as I could perceive, but I wouldn't even lend him a chew of tobacco.—Detroit Free Press. "You are not too old to improve, and become a pleasant-spirited and liberalminded Granny. Now I will tell you a little more news; Col. Lorraine will bp Sea ward's best man." never-failing of others. Mrs. Villiers looked up quickly, as if she did not know whether Adeline were jesting or not. Col. Lorraine ranked high in the old lady's esteem; he was possessed of all the cardinal virtues, birth, wealth and a reputation for wisdom. If he countenanced anything, it was sure to be right in the eyes of others. He was a single man, too; and once or twice of late a faint gleam of hope had found its way into granny's bosom. This man was Seaward's Intimate friend, and there was a firm bond of sympathy between Seaward and Adeline."There comes our train, sir. Goodbye."—George P. Mathis, in Drake's Magazine. The officer wanted to keep my dresa suit because it pleased him, 1 presume. It is a nice suit, made in Boston by a perfect gentleman. Surely his was one of "the few voices" which God has toned, and Its sweetness had stilled the tumult of many a heart as well as her own. "I could see Ed's fingers grip the hammer he held In his hand until it seemed as if they would leave their print on the hickory handle. HZ G RAJS FED AABOX'S HA.VD 15 SILEKCB. 'by my side I think I should have struck jhim then and there." "Thank God I was with you, Aaron," Jane whispered. "Yes, thank God yon are always with |me. A good woman softens a man unawares. When we were walking together in the twilight, and you were talking in your quiet voice, 1 began to feel that he hadn't done me any great harm after all. And then I remembered Olive's words about forgiveness, and a sort of shame stirred in me. It's !C %bad sign when one's heart is mors ready to curse than to bless—a terrible bad sign, Ja e." Not la Arable. lie wanted me to pay duty on a cigar that 1 had almost smoked up. He was going to seize a dozen perfectos that Mr. Burbank had. but when he found that Mr. Burbank had chewed each one a little before crossing the line he said: 'All right; nevermind. They are free." Seaward Aylatone came quietly in at the gate and sat down on the bench by her side. There was a flush in her cheeks, a sudden light in her eyes, and a something in the tone of her voice, which would have convinced any lookeron that Seaward's presence was not unwelcome. But there were no lookerson; the chaplain bad the rare faculty of keeping out of the way when he was not wanted; and as to the birds they had seen too many sweethearts to give any attention to a solitary pair. Olive bad been feeling for some time that the relation between the painter and herself was entirely apart from all common acquaintances and friendships. Yet he had never spoken of anything deeper than friendship. Be had been "His pallor deepened, bnt the only sign of the passion called into play by this unexpected' ntaethig was a fiendish look that crept into his eyes when, as he swung np Into the gangway, he saw tljtf pair hurry across the platform to the cars. I believe at that moment he would have wrecked the whole train could he have been certain that those two would not have escaped. Mile after mile waa cut off, station after station passed without his stirring from his post. He was thinking, and his thoughts were not such as brought comfort. The Arabs have no "hellol" in their language. The nearest they come to it U to throw a stoneDand hit a man in the back, and then aak him as he turns around: "Does it please Heaven to give yon good health this men Dng?"— Detroit Tree Press. A German one day expressed himselt as being somewhat offended because an American gentleman had asserted that his Teutonic countrymen could not as a rule appreciate American jokes. "Try one on me," said he defiantly, and the American accordingly told Him the story of the tree "out west'" which was so high that it took two men to see to the top. One of them saw as far as he could, and then the second began to look at the spot where the first stopped seeing. Not Hi* Kind. You have seen the sad eyed wife of a popular m.m. no doubt—a man who could have married anybody: he took her "•because it would have killed her if he hadn't;" a man with cnrly hair and a mustache which he pieces out with chin whiskers. He is so popular that he has himself photographed in the panoply of some secret order every time he gets to feeling pretty well. But his wife wears the same shawl that the last three babies have' slept in. He is so popular that people take advantage of his good nature and lead him astray and get him to drinking. That's what he tells his wife. Due man ahead of me, 1 noticed, evaded the eye of the officer, and while conversing with him looked out the window. Afterward 1 asked him why he did that. The Maiden and Her Lover. Once upon, or under, a time, I forget i»hich, there was a beautiful young maiden who was reared in the utmost luxury and Macallisterian refinement. And she was beloved by a handsome youth who had also been reared in that refinement and who had been brought up in a similar luxury. And the beautiful maiden returned his love a thousand told ami intended to marry him one day provided he cnnld find a minister who would believe that ho was of age), but lias! there was an objection that seemed llmoet insurmountable. The youth had »o brain. It nearly drove the beautiful jirl wild when she thought of this misfortune; although, to do him justice, it lid not bother her lover a bit, and she ietermined to do something to supply She deficiency. The wedding morning was as fait •nd bright as it was possible for a June morning to be. The 6teep little street leading to the Savoy chapel was thronged with an eager crowd. The path leading to the principal entrance was carpeted with crimson; and the old plane-trees, with all their fresh green leaves whispering softly in the punshine, seemed to be in a gentle flutter of expectation. The chapel was full. Bright faces, summer dresses, and gay flowers filled every pew- Granny was then*—verily there, ar? rayed in some of her best black lace, and looking calm and stately; Adeline was there, more charming than ever, with a light in her eyes that spoke of inward triumph and satisfaction."Well," he said. "I didn't mind looking him in the face, but 1 did not want him to notice my breath. I am trying to get it in free." "True, Aaron," she Said, gravely. "Then we began to climb the Wabusa grade, and I had enough to do without watching. After reaching the summit there is a down grade for a couple of miles. At the foot the road takes a short curve and crosses Buruham's creek, which was spanned then by a wooden bridge—afterward replaced with stone. Just before reaching the curve you had a look cross-lots at the bridge. After reaching the top of the grade the train was given a start, steam was shut off and away we went down the grade at the rate of forty miles an hour. I was looking out of my window. As we crossed the gap I spoke, and my heart jumped clear into my mouth. The bridge waa gone. He was a fat man, and carried a massive watch which ho had to remove before he could get into the car, and he brought it in in his hand. The recital did not raise the ghost of a smile upon the German's face, and the other said to him: "And then, when I was left alone for the night, I couldn't rest for thinking of my badness, and from that I fell to calling back old times. I didn't go to bed: I just paced up and down my room, itill I seemed to Bee Michael's face exactly as it used to be. What a bright, fresh-colored lad he wasl Always full |of hopes and plans, and always ready to cheer me up when 1 was downhearted. And after that old vision of him. Jane, I saw him again as he is now—the poor, puny man who won't live out half his daya instead of hating him, instead of wanting to hurt him, 1 was broken down at once with a great pity. It wasn't Olive's life that he lvad blighted, no, nor mine; It was his own life that he had spoiled and laid waste." "Well, you see the joke is lost on you. You can't appreciate American humor." "Oh, but," said the German, "dat'a not humor. Dat's von lieP*—Youth'i Companion. 1 carry seven razors with me, one of which 1 ase on each day of the week. Then I have at home special razors for Easter. Whitsunday and Guy Fawkes Day, These razors I bought at various bargain connters through the United States. Some of them will cut a hair. He is just simply a great big, soft, self indulgent, impalpable ass. That's what he is, and his house, everywhere that he has anything to do with it, shows stinginess, ueglect and incompetency. H// (f®! dsL I Slightly Sarcastic. Air. Jefferson says that the way to buy razors is to get a twenty-five center in every town you visit for a year, and out of the lot you may get a good one. He does that way. he says, instead of buying a fcJ.50 razor every little while and only getting one-tenth the chance to draw a prize. He wore a wooden leg. did Mr. Banting. He permitted me to think he loet it in the war at first. Then he went on to speak more fully of his great loss. 1 was told afterward that he lost it in defense of his honor, such as it was. He ft'as stopping, it seems, over night at the honse of' a 'man who was not at home himself; just only his wife, that's all. In the night his involuntary host came home, and thinking it was going to be a little crowded there shot three-quarters of a ponnd of buckshot and some old ehingle nails into Mr. Banting's leg as he was getting out the window—a window that gave upon the well. When Mr. Ranting was drawn out of the well by a reporter who could draw a man out better than anybody else, it was claimed, the doctor told Banting that he would have to contribute that leg to his mashing record and the bill would be eighty dollars for same. In her trouble she had recourse to her fairy godmother, who told her that it would be possible to furnish the youth with a brain provided he would pay anough for it. The girl gladly consented to this arrangement and placed in the 3»nds of the godmother her little all— the savings of the few years since she had been a child—some three and a half million dollars. The amount, though nnall. was received graciously by the jodmother, and soon thereafter the beautiful young girl had the pleasure of knowing that her lover was provided with a brain. It was a very small brain, but the doctors said it would grow, and perhaps ere be died he would be able to talk to her intelligently. This made her very, very happy, and she resolved, like the good little girl that she was, to save up her nickels and dimes and torn postage stamps, and in a year or two more to buy him some more brain, for in the meantime she had married him and knew that he needed it badly. The clergy and choristers went to meet the bride at the gate; and when the procession entered the church the wedding-hymn pealed forth, and the jeweled lights from the windows fell on the lovely face and soft white robes of the bride. She wore no ornaments, nor did she want any; her rich and glowing beauty needed no luster of gems or gold. A few choice white blossoms, set in their deep greeD leaves, were her only adornments. But her price was far above rubies, and in her the heart of her husband did safely trust. • "Ed saw it the same moment, and over his face flashed a look of fiendish glee. Instead of applying the airbrakes his hand played about the throttle-bar as if he would give the engine more steam- Then, quick as it game, the look faded and gave place to one of calm determination, The airbrakes were applied and the hissing and grinding of the wheels in their j-on shoes told of the great pressure brought to bear on them. But the impetus was too great. 1 have done that way, but I judge that Mr. Jeffersou had preceded me and bought the only good one there was in the town. Jane looked up at her lover with teara in her eyes. They were so happy— these two simple persona—and they knew that no life can be complete if it has missed such happiness as their own. Last spring 1 began to shave myself because 1 got tired of reading The Police Uazette while the neighbors dropped into the barber • shop to get their hair cut and get shampooed and also their ear whiskers dyed; also because barbers often referred to my baldness before folks and made me feel hurt. "The pity grew and grew," Aaron continued, "till I could not stay In the house. I wanted to be out under the stars, and ask Heaven to forgive me for my blindness. When I am npset I always go into the open air. I never lost the habit even in London, though It was little I could see of the stars there. But here In the country, the wide sky is always waiting overhead to help a man, and so { slipped gently downstairs, and then my feet seemed to be drawn along to the courthouse. 'id "OLIVJE, I LOV* TOP." waiting until the right moment had eome; until be was quite sure that the last lingering ache of the old pain was gone. "That ye may please Him both iu body and soul, and live together in holy love uuto your lives' end," said the chaplain's quiet voice. ,iTOM, I WANT YOUR REVOLVER.* public displays, she threw her arm* about Ed's neck abd gave him a goodbye kiss from a pair of the ruddiest lips in the world. Then holding down her umbrella to hide her blushes she ran off down the street. We were a good many miles out before the lovelight in Ed's eyes faded. "I followed his command in a half dazed way, sprang through the gangway and landed in a pool of water at the bottom of the grade. As I raised my head and shook the water from my eyes I heard a thundering crash and groaned aloud as I thought of the scores of lives probably sacrificed. I crawled out and hurried to the assistance of those in the wreck. " 'Jump!' shouted Ed. 1 lived in the country, too, for two or three weeks in March, and the nearest barber i knew of was a farm band who had shaved the prisoners for eight j-ears at Joliet, Ills. So iny beard grew out quite rank and nodded in the wind. It is redder than 1 thought it was, and an one side it grows upward, thus giving me a surprised and startled air. Mrs. Wabble—What an affectionate couple! One never sees them apart. Mr. Banting did not tell me about this, but neighbors did so. Mr. Banting, however, was a little sentimental the moriiing 1 saw him. He spoke tenderly of his lost leg as we sat together, and ever and anon he tapped the wooden one with the blade of a large pocketknife with which he had just been removing one of his indestructible steaks from between his teeth. Then he took from his pocket a piece of bone which had been carried for years in the same pocket with his tobacco. He looked at it sadly. Mrs. Wagtongue—1 suppose she knows how impossible it would be to tind him in case they got separated.—Once a Week. The autocrat of the breakfast table says of bis love, "it was in talking of life that we came most nearly together;" and whenever Olive and Aylstone met they were sure to talk of life. They both wanted to be doing and living, and helping others to do and live. There was so much to be done;so many plans bad to be carried out; Seaward was concerning himself about the future of the little children who sat to him as models, and Olive listened to his Ideas and suggested others. lie had no fear for them, nor did they fear for each other. They went out of the old chapel, and under the *mspering ptane-trees into cue June sunshine; and in their hearts was tha never-fading light of eternal peace. "I ffot to the farmyard gate, and stood leaning on It, and thinking, thinking. Then I smelt fire, and suddenly I saw a cloud of smoke coming from one of the npper windows, and I jumped over the gate, and ran and hammered hard on the front door. But something seemed to warn me that no time must be lost. I knew that there was a ladder in one of the outbuildings, and I dragged it out, and planted it under that smoking windoty. You know how it all ended, Jane. I climbed the ladder, and found the room filled with smoke and flames. I shouted, bnt no answer came save a faint groan. And I sprang in, and found Michael strotchedupon the floor." So at the end of another year she called upon her fairy godmother again, and pouring into her lap $3,275,689.23, the reBult of her economy, she asked for some more brain. The Doctor's Advice. [THF, Etfp) His Opinion, "It was nearly a week before we returned. Ed was us merry as a boy just lot out of school. When we run our engine into the house I noticed a good-sized knot of fellows about an engineer named Smith who was reading the afternoon paper- As Ed stepped down from the engine Smith come toward him with paper extended, crying: 'Jlere, Ed, here's something will interest you.' So now 1 am shaving myself. I got a new razor in Chicago. It had a lovely handle, and on the blade it said— Patient—Doctor, there's a friend of mine who has symptoms of consumption. What do you advise? Doctor—Tell him to go south. Patient—But he lives in the eonth. Doctor—H'm. Tell him to come north. —Yankee Blade. "Have you an opinion or anything to raggest regarding my three act play?" inquired the young dramatist. "Then the conductor's votoe attracteo my attention, booking up I saw the train above me. The front wheels of the foremost truck on the baggage ear had dropped ovef the , chasm, but thp train was safe. The engine had disappeared. With an inarticulate cry Jj started along the bottom of (he grade for the creek, followed by those above. The creek was only waist deep and narrow. While wading through i could see the rear of the tender on the bank above. The huge mass had almost leaped the chasm. Under the cab lay Ed, crushed, but alive, his hand stity grasping the air-brake. "And how much rnqre brain. do you want?" asked the fairy godmother in surprise. KEMEMBER ME. "Only this," answered the manager. 'Td advise you to cut it down to one act ind then try to get it produced somewhere else."—Fliegende Blatter. 1 did so. "So Easy!" Quite suddenly there came a lull In the conversation. It was one of those pauses which romantic people attribute to the passing of an unseen angel. A silence like this is always full of possibilities; slow hearts struggle with the difficulty of expression, and are dumb when they ought to speak; quick hearts break out into over-much speaking and so lose their cause. Others—and they are the happy few—say just the right words, and win the response that they long for. "At least enough, good godmother," replied the girl, "to enable him to die of brain fever." For a shaving mug 1 use a mustache cup given me in Paris by an elderly French lady who said she did not need it, as she had two besides this one. A man was explaining to his wife how the telephone is worked. "That," be said, "come off of the kneeoan It is cond an ever it was. It is the lid of the kneepan." "Ungracious girl," screamed the fairy godmother, "you ask too much." Whereupon she vanished into thin air and left the poor girl unhappy forever after.—Tom Hall in Troth. "It is wonderfnlly simple. All yon have to do is to grasp the apparatus with one hand and talk with the other."— Paix. Did Nome Good. "Half a dozen tried to hold him back, crying: 'Shut up. Smith; don't be a fool;' but Ed seeing something was up turned and took the pupor. lie was deadly ]Dalo br.t his hand never trembled. lie ran his eyes over the columns. I looked over his shoulder. At the top of the page was a special dispatch from a little town ir\ I llmo.s ftating that Howard Gceams, of New York, and Miss Kitty Moore, of Shoetown, were married that morning at the residence ■' 'TVCe dispatch concluded with the line: 'The marriage is said to be the sequel.to a romantic elopement.' Following was a note to the effect that the Miss Moore alluded to in the dispatch 'was a young lady well known in Shoe town society and was understood to have been engaged to an employe of the N. & O. road.' After 1 have shaved I want to be quiet for an hour or two and generally avoid company, especially our pastor. But 1 am improving all the time. I can sharpen my razor now without cutting the strop in two, and sometimes my face would almost seem to indicate a boughten shave. One strop lasts me a wee* now, and my alum bill is a mere bagatelle. Then he looked out through the window as well as he could and went on: Ginsling—It's all nonsense to say that New Year's resolutions do no good. 1 iwore off myself last New Year's, "1 lost my mother next March is a year. She always appreciated me. My wife never has. i could have married my pick of the girls of our place, but I took Laura because she was purty then. She was one of them girls that fade awful quick, and besides she don't appreciate me nor how poplar 1 am." Then he sighed. Lounger—Yon did, eh? Congratulation* In Order. . Doctor (to newly made father)—Sir, ] you are to be congratulated. Ton are the father of twins. Happy Parent (doubtfully)—That's so. They might have been triplets.—Life. The girl was trembling as she clung to his arm. She had loved him dearly always, out ms deed 01 oaring bad given him a new dignity in her eyes. And he had been in danger, and she might have lost him. | Ginsling—Yes, sir, and I stuck to it a full week—saved twenty dollars.—New York Weekly. No Blore Work. Man at the Door—Have you a position for a very bright young man? Editor—Looking for work, eh? Where were you last employed? " 'The train, Tom,' he cried, as I approached ahead of the others. 'Safe.' A Leading Question, "There is very little harm done to the house," she said, after a pause. ' I went in to-day and saw the room. , The furniture is burnt and the walls are blackened, but the fire was soon put out. Michael had fallen asleep, it seems, leaving the window open &nCi the candle burning on the dressing table. Mrs. Belthorpe savs that he seemed strange and absent that night, and looked very ill. Poor fellow; the doctor says he will get better, but—" Olive's color deepened when that pause came. She sat still for a few seconds, her heart beating fast. Then she made a slight movement as if she were about to rise; but a hand was laid lightly on her own. "No, you must not leave me yet," Seaward said. "1 will aay something now that I have long wanted to say. Olive, I love you. I Want yon to be with me always, to help me, dear, and comfort me with your love. If a man and woman love truly they may make a garden of Eden in the middle of a noisy world. Their home may be as fresh and calm as this old chapel garden, set in the m.dst of the turmoil of busy life." In Germany teachers are very poorly paid. At a teachers' festival somebody proposed the toast, "Long live our school teachers!" " 'Thank Ood! I'm done for, Tom. No, there is no hope. It is well.' Man at the Door—Oh, I've been the busiest man in seven states for the past three or four months. The customs officer wanted these razors and the mustache cup, which 1 valued because of its associations only. He thought I was introducing them into her majesty's dominion. He thought I was going to start a barber shop. Establishing an Equilibrium. "Yesterday," he went on, "I made a solemn journey—a mighty solemn journey.""Baby growing fight along?'' "The others came up then. After half an hour's hard work we released the mangled form and laid it on a rude cot in the shade. There was nothing more to be done. The least touch added to Ed's agony and tho shadow of death rested upon his face before we could release him. As we laid him down a circle of grateful passengers gathered around and gazed reverently on the face of the man who saved them at the cost of his own life. "Oh, yes. I think he will catch np with his voice in a year or so."—Indianapolis Journal. "What on?" askfcd a cadaverous looking specimen, rising in his seat."—Loudon Tit-Bits. Editor—And now you're out of a job, eh? How's that? Man at the Door—I was a Chilian war correspondent at Washington.—Boston Post. "To your mother's grave, do you mean?" ' "Yes." 1 presume that there is a sort of cutthroat appearance about me somehow that makes people suspicious. Sometimes i think it is because 1 dress too A G -eat Iaventor. "Where is it?" ClrcumstmacM. Jones—You didn't get out to the meeting last night? "It is over at East Hail dock, about e'Suteen miles from here. It may be jest a sentiment with me, for I'm of a sensitive and refined nature naturally; but I made a pilgrimage over there yesterday. cold as it was." Husband (who has been out all night, to wife next day)—1 hope you were noi very much disappointed, my love, because I failed to come home and take you to the theater, as I promised. Wtin't Disappointed Brown — No. Circumstances over "I never ss.w such a look as came into Ed's eyes. Without a word he walked across the house to the door. There was not a whisper until the door closed. Then the way that crowd went for Smith would have done you good to aee. I waited long enough to fire a few hearty curses at him and snatched my coat and hurried after my friend. I caught up with him as he was entering the gate at hia home. He beckoned me to come in. At the door he was met by his mother. With a cry she threw her arms about him. He gently unloosed the clinging fingers saying; 'There, there, mother, perhaps it is all for the best,' and went on up to his room. Once inside he turned on me like a tiger: 'Tom, I want your retolwwu'much. It makes people think I am * gambler. "But what?" Aaron asked. Which I had no control prevented me. Jones—That so? What were they? Brown—Twiw.—Detroit Free Press. London is a good city—on tho Canada tide. There are 30,000 people there. They are excellent people, too, reminding me very much of Americans. London hits a good hotel at the depot. "Mrs. Hooper thinks that he will not live many months. lie has had a terrible shock, and he was a worn-out man before this disaster happened. Poor Michael!" "I sat wiping the damp dew from his forehead when Ed opened his eyes suddenly, looked up in my face and whispered the word, 'Kitty, I must see her soon,' he added, as I hesitated. 'She can not refuse me now.' Wife (sweetly)—Oh, 1 wasn't disappointed at all, my dear. Your handsome friend, Mr. Adams, happened to call and I went with him.—Saw Francisco Wasp. He paused and rubbed his noee hard with a big red handkerchief, and his voice choked up a little. Daylight Ahead. He was sure of her answer l*efore it came from her lips. She was in no haste to break the silence that followed, but the slender hand that he was holding lay quietly in his and the ■weet eyes glanced up at him for one moment with a look of perfect oontent. Bingo—Wasn't the servant girl unnsually pleasant this morning? Mrs. Bingo—Yes. Her beau called last night. For three weeks Michael was nursed by his old friends, and great was their surprise that Mrs. Chase did not come from London. But Michael had begged them to make as light of his illness as possible when they wrote to his wife, and they soon saw that he did not desire her presence. She was not usad to country ways, he explained, and was something of an invalid herself. He had a brief interview with Aaron, iJust before be left JSastmeon. Verv We wrote quite a lot of letters there and posted them in American stamped envelopes. Then we stood around in the cold and bribed the postman to give them back to us so that we could put Canadian stamps on them, which are three cents apiece, making five cents laid out on each of our letters. "Yes, I took up my leg that was buried here at the time and"—a slight quiver of the chin—"and buried it over at East Haddock alongside of mother." "That was enough, but all the same it was one of the hardest errands I ever had given me. Fortunately I was Baved any search, as Kitty broke through the circle aa I rose, and knelt humbly by Ed's aide, the tears streaming down he? face. The crowd retired and left ua three there together. Ed reached up and took her hand, murmuring: 'Don't cry, Kitty, it was all for the best. I iust bant Tons to hrintr von aa I oauld Bingo—See if you can't get him to oome here and live.—Life. Didn't Dare Do It. Mr. Bingo—Your new dress trousers are rained. 1 hung them out in the back yard to air, and some boys threw snowballs at them all the afternoon. "I do love you," murmured the soft voice at last. She Wan All RlKht. Clerk (politely)—Any one waiting on yon, miss? "You ought to take out a those fish stories of yours, ] bowe." itent for r. Long- She sat there watching the afternoon light flickering upon the grass and wondering what she had done to deserve this blessing. 4 new life wai eBeaijMr. out before her. and tha old Bingo—Why in thunder didn't you go out and stop them? The street cars in London run on runners in winter, and the track is abandoned till the soft breath of spring comes again and kisses back to life and light and song the still and frosty fea- Her Price. Miss Bumper (from Wryneck Junction)—Well, I should say so. I'm going to he married next week.—Art in Advertising.Kingley—Old man. how much did it cost you last year for your neckties? Bingo (sadly)—My wife's friendship. —Clothier and Furnisher, Mrs. Bingo—I couldn't very well They were relatives of the servant girl —Clothier and Furnisher, "What do you mean?" "Well, £ob invented them, you know." •-Once a Week. I