Pittston Gazette

              ' I !Y»*1 Oldest NewsoaDer in the Wvominp Valley. ' PITTSTON, LUZERNE CO., PA., FHIDAYTTANUARY 1, 1892. A WeeKly Local and Family Journal. A PRISONER OF WAR nia times, Physically he was, 1 think, the handsomest man 1 ever saw. He was strong as a lion, active as a tiger and affectionate as a child. At first his profanity, or what I took to be profanity, shocked me, but at heart this gallant fellow was as intensely religious as Peter the Hermit, and he had a sense of duty stronger than his fear of death. writing, out that he would do his "d—st best" to write to me whenever he dad a chance, and lie did; but had 1 depended on Bell for intelligence as to his subsequent doings, there would be but little more to add to the record of my monntain friend. 1 have tried to give an idea of Bell's dialect—that is legitimate —but i cannot be expected to reproduce any of the short letters he sent me. 1 lost sight of the orthography and syntax in the modesty as to his own exploits and in his almost girlish but intensely earnest expressions of love for myself and prayers for my safety and elevation, and, above all, in his devotion to the cause of the Union and his an*liakeii faith as to its final triumph. had brown hair, a lithe form, keen gray eyes and a chin and month that indicated masculine force of character. Her teeth were excellent, for she did not dip. She was dressed in a plain calico. She would not have worn mourning if there were goods of that land for sale in Greenville at that time and she had had the money to buy them. She was not the woman to parade her grief at the dictate of fashion, and then it waa not the custom of the mountaineers. MOVING, BROTHER, GARDNER TALKS. WARM ENOUGH. NYE IX MISSISSIPPI. mg me snort session .or we legislature. 1 presume be saved this amount by going without cigars. The amount of the standing bribe offered to the public schools by the lottery, and accepted, to say nothing of innumerable bribes from |20,000 down to a vermouth cocktail, does not prevent a profit which, 1 am assured by a gentleman of New Orleans who is thoroughly familiar with the affairs of the lottery, averages 480 per cent, per annum on the investment. IA long way from Tennyson.] Too must wake and call me early; call me Mottoes ArtiOood, but It Takes Cash to Be Woke ITp and Wat* Glad to Find It early, husband dear; Tomorrow will be the busiest time we've had "My freijrs," said Brother Gardner, when the !&turday night meeting of the Cotton Blbssom clnb had been opened in due form, "dar am seberal different things I desiah to call yo'r 'tenshun to at dis time, when dis club has no pertickler bizness befo' it. Bny Saleratus. Generally speaking practical jokes are to be avoided, as they are commonly more productive of harm than amusement. But occasionally there is one so spontaneous and appropriate as to be quite pardonable. Two young men were roommates at Harvard. They were not only roommates, but fast friends, and shared their joys and sorrows as well as their apartments; but neither was averse to a wholesome laugh, either at his own or at the other's expense. They had two rooms—a commodious study and a small bedroom, large enough, however, foi each to have his own separate bed. It happened one particularly cold night last winter that both the young men had passed the evening out. About 11 o'clock the first one reached his room; he had ridden out from Boston in a slow car, and was very cold. The fire in the grate was low; and the bedroom, which had been left with door closed and window open, was exceedingly cold; but the stu dent was resolved to make the best of the situation. Only a Dream CURSORY REMARKS ON THE BOOMS, COTTON, AND THE BIG LOTTERY. The Escape of Two Union Officers from Millen, Ga. for just a year. The vans are ooming early; you must wako, and wake me too— There'll be more work about the house than both of us can do. A Southern "Close Connection"—The It was the custom of the authorities during the war to give at least thirty days' leave of absence, or furlough, to all men who had escaped from the enemy, but the men from the border states could not, as a rule, avail themselves of this privilege. To go home did not mean peace or rest. The enemy was on every side, often the nearest neighbor, and the guerrilla was prowling when the raider was driven off; and so there were no leaves for Tom Bell or for myself; at least, we elected not to accept them. Australian Ballot Better Than the By ALFRED B. CALHOUN (Late Majoi At five o'clock in the morning, dear, when the day begins to break. We must both get up and stir around, and 1 hope, for goodness sake, the day will be the only precious thing that will be broken; And I hope you'll think without regret, at night, of all you've spoken. Shotgun—The Lola Kallroad—The Cot- U. S. Volunteers). Miss MacNeal, though remarkably clear headed and intelligent, was not even fairly well educated, but it was natural that Tom Bell should see in her a model of all feminine excellences. We talked freely about my dear friend, but her voice never broke and her eyes never moistened. The lines at the corners and the set of the lips told of along experience with life's sorest trials and a familiarity with death in its most violent forms. I gave her the little present I had brought down for the wedding, and she received it without any sign of emotion. But this did not shock me. I had learned much of the character of these remarkable people, and my heart told me that the heart that loved Tom Bell was worthy his long devotion. "I notice dat some of yo' is great hands fur mottoes. In my lime I has knowed heaps o' people wid mottoes, an I nebber could see dat dey got along any better dan odder folks. De trubble seems to be dat de motto an de man doan' exactly hitch up together. De laziest, sleepiest man I eber knowed had 'Excelsior' fur his motto. De man who stole Bixteen chickens from my coop in Detroit had fur his motto, 'Honesty brings success.* It is now ober seben y'ars since I lent three dollars to a man who had no less dan five different mottoes to spur him on, an I hain't got dat money back yit. ton Expert—A Great Moral Question. 1 Copyright, 1881, by Edgar W. Nye.| My friend, Mr. Jay Gould, who is perhaps the highest authority on quick sales and small profits of any one in the United States, said the other day in relation to the state lottery of Louisiana that it seemed to him like receiving ten dollars from the ticket holder and putting five of it in the drawer and then shaking dice to see wh(S should have the other five. [Copyright, 1891, by American Press Assooi* tion.) We have been riding all the afternoon in the cotton growing country of Mississippi. At Helena, Ark., 1 saw the largest quantity of baled cotton, 1 think, that 1 have ever seen. At Greenwood, Miss., we stopped for three or four hours in order to make what is called a southern close connection. Greenwood is a boom town; it was shown us by a man who had charge of the boom and whose business it is, occasionally, to stir it up with a long pole to make it squeal. In thk Cotton Bf.i.t, December. judging Dy tne stars—the moon naa dropped out of sight—it was about 3 o'clock in the morning when we reached the bank of the Chattahoochee, and as we had been staggering with fatigue we decided to find a secluded spot in which we might get a few hours' sleep. Neai the river we came upon the ruin of a pretentious house, whose two chimneys stood out against the sky like monuments of desolation. Beyond this we found a tfinhouse, in front of which wa* a fence with a lot of recently cut green corn fodder resting against it. We inferred that neither friend nor foe had recently been near this place, else the fence and the fodder, if not the ginhouse, would be missing. You know you're apt to get provoked, and when you're mad you swear; But try to keep your temper, dear, and don't go on a tear. You know the van men always do destroy things, more or less. And it's very exasperating, dear, I really must confess. After November. 1864. he ceased to write. In February, 1865, I wrote to Captain Cliff, of Hardin county, Ky., who was then with General Gillem, asking for news of Bell, and the following is an extract from Cliff's reply: Of course the underground machinery necessary to the successful operation of the lottery in defiance of the iDostal laws is naturally very extensive and hard to break up. But with the law and the sentiment of the country against it, its extermination is only a matter of time, and the statesman or the journal looking for a job will do well to consider this excellent opening. The lottery, however, has friends where you would least look for them. A business man of New Orleans im- We were most generously treated by our comrades in and about Marietta, and after we had seen the paymaster and borrowed such articles of clothing as the quartermaster could not supply we decided to run uiD to Nashville to get The things most all be taken down, the carpets taken up. And 1 don't suppose we'll get a chance for a decent bite or sup; We'll have to do the best we can with things from the grocery store, A.nd eat them off the mantelpiece, or maybe off the floor. Captain Bell brought me your letter as soon as he reached this command, and 1 need not say, old fellow, how rejoiced I was to learn that you had escaped. Bell gave you all the credit of the exploit, but soldiers know that kind of spirit and like it. Bell's story of your coming through ought to be written out, and 1 hope you will do it some day. "It hain't de motto dat makes deman, but ebery man must makehisself. When Shindig Watkins goes to de grocery fur a pound of saleratus de grocer doan' ax him what motto he am runnin bizness on, but looks him in de eye an expects him to come down wid de cold cash. If Samuel Shin had bin livin fur the last twenty-one y'a»s by de golden principles of de motto of 'Strive to Do Bight,' he couldn't go out on Sixth avenue an make it buy him-three yards of caliker. When dat caliker was cut off an rolled up, Brudder Shin would hev to plank down de cash or offer good security. i]ffr==^i I | l|, I I ;  - , I J a D Have you heard of the battle of Strawberry I'lains? Or have the rejoicings over Sherman's success deafened you to everything else military? Well, wo were walloped at Strawberry Plains. Nor was it the fault of General Gillem and his shrunken and wretchedly equipped brigade. The rebs, under General Breckinridge and Basil Duke, with about 10,000 men. Including the remnant of John Morgan's old command, attacked us, dark and early, in the beforementioned place. Of course we fought —that is what we were there for—but the sun wasn't two hours high over the AUeghanies before the dullest private in the command saw that the game was up with us and that prudence dictated a retreat, with guns and baggage if possible, but without them if they could not be carried off. By reading the reports you will see we came through to Loudon with about half our men, and In the lightest kind of marching order. But we are not disheartened. Steve Burbridge is hurrying to our aid—then goodby, Mr. Breckinridge. THE END. Your nightshirt's packed in the oven, love, and the pillows are put away; You must sleep on the kitchen table, dear—tomorrow is moving day. Your bootjack's near the bottom uf the barrel of boots and clothes. And the soap and towels are somewhere, but goodness only knows. First spreading his ulster over his bed, he went to the closet and helped himself to all the coats he fonnd there, and putting these over the nlster, he crawled nnder the pile, and was soon as snug and comfortable as a cat under a stove. Their Reason*. Our great fatigue influenced our decision. The door of the building stood invitingly open, so we went in, and feeling on the floor with hands and feet we found it covered with cotton seed and very dry fodder. We gathered a lot of this stuff close to the door, but to one side, and then lay down. I must have dropped off to Bleep the instant I struck the floor. A prominent singer who began his career in giving concerts about the country had some extraordinary experiences in towns where such entertainments were of rare occurrence. One night, when he was persistently applauded, he returned to sing a second song, but was surprised by a stentorian voice from the audience: ported a, clerk from one of the northern states not long ago. Within a few weeks he noticed that the clerk was receiving a large quantity of mail. It kept on increasing till finally he inquired of the * young man whether he was managing a matrimonial bureau or something of that nature. Your books are all In the coal box—I packed them as tight as I could. Your razors 1 put in tho largest trunk, where 1 put the coals and wood, The gridiron's packed In the bureau drawer, and the baby Is in there, too, I put the bottle in with him—'twas the best that I could do. L'EKVOl. Ohl tomorrow will be the merriest day in all the glad New Year— You must wake and call me early, love, before the van man's here. He had just got well asleep when in came his chum, half frozen. "Well," he said, "Jack's got his whok wardrobe over him. It's a good idea, Til do it myself." But on going to the closet he found that all his clothes had already been appropriated. He stopped a moment to think the situation over, and then exclaimed, "Well, Jack, old man, if you're as cold as that I'll see What 1 can do to make the night comfortable for you." "An I want to tell yo' dat one-half do trubble we encounter in dis wurld cnms from our expectin too much of our feller men. We expect a man am gwine to tell de troof when we know we'd dodge it oureelf; dat he's gwine to be honest where we'd be tricky; dat he'll believe in us while we doubt him; dat he orter be generous while we am stingy. In fact, we's lookin fur odder folks to be perfect, while we realize dat we ourselves am chuck full o' meanness. 1 could not have been asleep many minutes, and I might have continued to my own ruin, had I not yielded to Bell's whispering and shaking, and by a desperate effort of will roused myself into consciousness. There was no need to a.sk the reason for my companion's excited manner. Outside the door a number of horsemen, attracted by the fodder and the seclusion of the ginhouse, were dismounting. The accent, even before I could wake up sufficiently to understand, convinced me that they were Confederates, and that they were in no amiable mood. Tbey swore at the Yankees in a way shocking to listen to; but then they were very impartial with their profanity, for Hood and Roes came in for their share. "Oh, we don't want nothin new! Sing the fust piece right over agin!" The clerk made a clean breast of it and showed his employer that the letters contained remittances from his old neighbors up north, who knew that he was in New Orleans, and feeling certain that a man right there on the ground could almost go and put hia hand on the capital prize, had sent him in the aggre- - gate large sums of money, on which, of course, he received a commission of 20 per cent, from the lottery. 1 publish this as a pointer to other business men, of New Orleans who may be supplying desk room and salary to the agents of the Louisiana State lottery. At another time the audience was bo wildly appreciative that it refused to consider the concert at au end, and clamored loudly for "just one more." It was given, and then another demanded. Patience failed the singer at this point, and he begged his manager to go before the curtain and state that he really was unable to sing any more. And thus was the statement worded: —Yankee Blade. Bat, as to Captain Tom Bell; he commanded a company of mountaineers who had been detailed for scouting duty after his return, and I need not say they were good men. I Bay "were" instead of "are," for 1 regret to report that most of them were called at Strawberry Plains. They responded to the call like gallant fellows, and have gone into the eternal camp over there. The last I saw of Bell was on the field, lie and a handful of his men were trying to drag off an abandoned howitzer. His hat was off, and there was It red stained handkerchief tied about his head. Just then the robs swooped down in force, and everything got mixed into one of those b&ttlo snarls which we are all so familiar with. This he proceeded to do. First ha spread several newspapers «n the pile ol clothes that covered the contented sleeper: on these he laid three large rugs that he took from the floor: over these he dis tributed several cushions taken from different chairs, and over all he placed a pair of portieres taken down specially for that purpose. On top of these he folded and spread a heavy tennis net, usiDg the cords to tie the whole hug« pile in place. Then tossing his ulstei over his own bed, he got in and chuckled himself to sleep. Jack in the meantime slept on, unconscious of the great burden he bore; but in the morning, when with great effort he got his eyes open and took in the situation, he slowly said: BELL FELL DEAD WITH A BULLET tS HIS He had a girl on his arm and was hunting the "license office." When he found it and had drawn up alongside the clerk's desk he chuckled a bit and remarked, nodding bis head toward the young lady i He ffai Happy. HEART. our outfits, I to go back to the army then besieging Atlanta, and Bell to make his way to General Gillem's command, then operating in the neighborhood of Cumberland Gap. Before leaving Marietta we had the pleasure of greeting the three wounded Confederates with whom we hhd messed in the woods the night before we struck our lines. We had reported their whereabouts, as we promised, and they were placed in our hospitals, to the great delight of the poor fellows. ENTERED THE -NEWSPAPER OFFICE. "I lias made it a rule all my life not to expect too much of my feller man. I've knowed a man to run 'long fur a y'ar or so as level as a plank an as good natured as a squash. Then he'd suddenly kick up an show his mean side. We is all full o' streaks an whims an noshuns, an dar cums a time when we've got to show 'em out or bust de b'ller. He is connected with several enterprises, which he showed ns — among others, a cotton compress. This machine cost £{-*1,000, and cost for repairs last yenr $1.50 For compressing the cotton the company receives sixty-five cents per Iwle. and seventy bales are compressed in a minute, therefore the profits in the business are worth considering. In fact, it beats grand larceny, and does not involve, so much night work. It stands next to the Louisiana State lottery in the matter of dividends and freedom from intellectual strain. "Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Martin can't sing no more tonight. He can't, honest. His wind's give out!" "See this mister; she's jest the biggest fool in ten states, she is." A similar story comes from another 6inger who could not refrain from telling it, although her seven-year-old niece, a fastidious little lady, pronounced it "not a very pretty story, auntie!" "She doesn't look it," responded the gallant clerk with a bow. "P'raps not; but she is, mister." The girl gave him a tender little shako and told him to hush up. 1 have only had one lottery experience myself and it has worried me all my life. If 1 could find the proprietor, or whatever he was, 1 would go to him now and make some sort of restitution. It was many years ago, when 1 was a tall stripling with embossed warts on my feet and bamboo legs. 1 wore a suit of clothes made on the place—most every one noticed them, wherever 1 went. Even quiet, old grassfed horses shied at them. 1 was of a shrinking nature and the clothes had the same peculiarity. Thus 1 attended the circus. Connected therewith was a lottery, it cost a dollar to come in, and by giving fifty cents, together with the prize previously drawn, one could keep on throwing as long as his securities held out. But the boys had run out of funds or lost faith in the institution, so the lottery was deserted. My horse saved me. but I fully expected to learn that Bell was either killed or again captured. Great, then, was my surprise on reaching Loudon a few dayB after the fight to find him in the hospital, with his head in bandages and his right arm off between the elbow and Bhoulder. The brave fellow was terribly cut up over our defeat, but he seemed to regard his own injuries as trifles. He is ambidextrous, except as to writing, and this will account for his silence. From Loudon our wounded were sent on to Camp Dick Robinson, Bell with them. I suggested to Bell with my lips to his ear that we slip out and make a break for it, but he had his senses about him far better than myself. A glance through a split board convinced me that we could not get out unseen. The lady had been taken ill after eating some decoction of ancient lobster at the hotel, and sent her manager word that she really could tot sing. He accordingly appeared before the disappointed audience and announced: "I has bin pained to obsarve a disposishun on de part of sariin members of dis club to be curus regardin deir nayburs. I used to be dat way myself in de long ago. Dere was a time in my life when, if a strange nigger passed my cabin ridin a straw cull'd mewl an followed by a yaller dawg, I'd stop hoein co'n and sot down to wonder who he was—whar' he cum frum—how many chill'en he had—wheder he wouldn't trade dat dawg fur a b'ar trap, an so on an so forth. I found it a losin bizness an I quit. Any one of us who kin manage to keep out of de hands of de doctors, police an lawyers has about all de bizness he wants to see to. "Listen at her," he said to the clerk with a chuckle. "Listen at her. Don't know nothin 'bout herself at all, she don't. Wants me to hush up. But 1 won't. Say, mister, can't we get a license here?" At the hotel in Nashville, Bell and I slept in a room with two beds, but on the night of Aug. 13—we were to part next morning—he said to me: "Well, I'm glad it's only clothes; I'vt been trying all night long to burrow out from under the Rocky mountains.'*— Youth's Companion. Perhaps I should add. however, that this machine is not in operation. We next visited a large ice machine and bottling works. The ice machine "is also a very profitable enterprise, but it alsc was not in operation. Artificial ice is constructed by lowering the temperature artificially to such an extent that ordi nary water becomes hardened. Before 1 visited this machine I was in utter ignorance regarding the process. We visited several other enterprises at Greenwood, but it did not seem to be their busy day. After slinking their saddles and bridles on the fences and tying the horses to the same, with the fodder in front, the men entered the ginhouse and one of them was about to strike a light when the corporal in command swore at him, called him a d—d fool and asked him if he did not know that the ginhouse was as combustible as so much powder. The/ gathered up the fodder with their feet, coming dangerously near to Bell and myself; then they pulled off their boots, spread their saddle blankets and lay down. "Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Merriain ain't here tonight. She couldn't come. She ain't in fit circumstances to sing. Her stomach's troubling her!"— Youth's (Jomjianion. "We uns is gwine to part, cap, and hit may be ez how we won't never meet again this side etarnity." "A marriage license?" inquired the clerk. "Nonsense, Bell," I interrupted, "we'll pull through the war and live to talk over, as old men, our adventures down in Dixie." I thought, as did every one else who knew Tom Bell, that he was out of the fuss for good and all. You can therefore Imagine my surprise when we were advancing to destroy the works at Salt\ille, Va,, to find Captain Tom B$ll back and again in command of the remnant of the "No'th Calinyans." He drew on his-varied and ample stock of-(profanity—or, is it profanity, to express his joy at meeting me?—and failing to do it in that way, he threw his "left" arm about my neck and hugged me till I threatened to strangle. "That's what," he answered with confident pride. A Bag of Puna. A deaf farmer drove in his flock and herd.—Boston Transcript. Of Courm Her Books Were Right. "For you and this young lady?" asked the clerk again. Bell shook his head. I had never known him tcT be more solemn in his manner, not even when we were burning with hunger and footsore and weary we tore through the jungle with the pursuers close behind. She decided that the only way to run a house economically was to keep a set of books, so she made all the necessary purchases, including a bottle of red ink, and started in. "You bet it ain't no other, mister," he said, slapping the clerk across the shoulders. A Fatigue Uniform—The messengei boy's.—Baltimore American. An actor's life ought to be fruitful; it is filled with dates. — Yonkers Statesman. "The clerk made it out, handed it over and took the fee. "An I want to say a few words to de younger members of dis club on de subjick of spreadin deirselves. De odder day I saw Three-Ply Johnson,who is a waitah in a hotel, gwine along Broadway wid so much spread dat folks stopped to look arter him an wonder how many banks he owned. When we come right down to facts, Brudder Johnson airns about ten dollars a week, an if he am heah tonight I'll bet he hain't got fifty cents in his pocket. What's de use, den, of all dat spread? What's de use of deceivin de public? Let a man be what he am. If he's got seventeen millyon dollars, den let him frow on seventeen millyon dollars' wuth of style. If he baint got but seventeen cents let him walk softly aroun an attempt no decepshnn. De public can't be deceived about dese things. Tom assured me, with comical seriousness, that he was practicing writing with his left hand In "his odd time," and as soon as he had become sufficiently expert to handle a pen you would hoar from him "over his own fist." I have not seen him since, but I know that he is with the raiders who are pushing toward Lynchburg. The end Is right iu sight.. This command is now moving Into North Carolina to join Sherman. It was a month later that her husband asked her how she was getting along. "Splendidly," she replied. "The system is a success then?" "Yes, indeed. Why, Tin sixty-eight dollars ahead already." "Didn't I tell you sho was the biggest fool in ten states," he said as he stuck the license into his pocket. "Look at her, will you? Slick as a whistle and as purty as a yearlin calf. Got a hundred acre farm, too, in her own right, and •he'8 goin to marry a feller like me. Now say, mister, did you ever iiear of rich a fool trick as that?" and he chuckled till he shook all over. — Detroit Free Press. "All hands 'round," said the dancing master when he set his clock.—Boston Bulletin. 1 visited the office of the local papei and bad a long, interesting talk with the editor, who is also a member of the state legislature. They swore they were starved to death. One of them wished he was a horse, that he mUilit eo out and fill himself full to the throat with fodder. It was very evident that these men were sure that it was "all up with the Confederacy," and equally certain, they would fight it ont ao long aeon© of them could sit a horse cr pull a trigger. "Let us sleep together for the last night. Hit'll be easier to talk, and hit'll not be so hard to recall the d—d hard times we uns hez had together. I sometimes nigh give plum up believin in God, but he took we uns each by the hand and pulled us squar through, and so preserved us that we uns mout give the enemy h—1, and I'm gwine to do hit, jest as quick ez 1 kin git down to whar our folks is in the mountains." The prize pig at the county fair maj not be beautiful, but he has a winning weigh.—Elmira Gazette. Recently the railroad from Helena tc Lula has been abandoned. This newt will fall with a sickening plunk on the ear of the tourist. The road ran largely throngh a dank swiunp—a snaggy wal low in the wilderness. When the ofl side of the track sagged, which it in variably did, unless the nigh side was engaged in sagging, the weight of the train shoved the decayed ties into the wet. mushy bosom of the earth and squirted the mud forty feet high. This kept the windows of the cars looking very untidy, which is a rare thing ii that vicinity. "Sixty-eight dollars!" he exclaimed. "Heavens! You'll be rich before long. Have you started a bank account?" "No—o; not yet." Actors are too much given to quarreling considering that it is a part of theii business to kiss and "make up."—Texas Siftings. # In May, 1866, a few days after the grand review in Washington (the envelope is postmarked May 15), I received a letter of a few lines from Bell. The chirography was very much like that done with his right hand. He was then at Knoxville and had just been mastered out. He wrote, not in the old spirit of intense affection for the Union and myself, nor with the old burning hate for the rebellion, but with a manly restraint that showed, even more than his wildest torrents of profanity or his fiercest prayers, the supreme satisfaction that had come to his heart, bringing with it a calm after the four years of deadly storm. We learned that their scout had been in the direction of the Chattahoochee bridge, but that they had been discovered and chased back by the Union videttes a few miles acvay. They felt reasonably secure where they were, and their conduct as well as their talk confirmed this fact. "What have you done with the money?" A career of extravagance does nol necessarily bring a man sackcloth, bul it is more than likely to bring him t'i hashes.—Washington Star. "Oh, I haven't got the money, you know. That's/ only what the books show. But Chink of being sixty-eight dollars ahead." Information ed For. We slept together that night and Bell opened his heart to me as he never had done before. He deplored his lack of education, but he had made up his mind to study as soon as the war was over. We had called that day on Andrew Johnson, who was then military governor of Tennessee and living in Nashville. With the career of this remarkable man in his mind. Bell said: A lover at Alton, His., squeezed hii girl bo hard that he broke her rib. Thai young fellow evidently belongs to t coarse set.—Binghamton Republican. "Urn, yes; but I don't exactly see"—- "Why, don't the books show it?" "Of course, but the money! What has become of that?" One of the men pushed his feet nearly into my face, but I dared not move, and at the risk of bursting a blood vessel I checked back the desire to cough caused by the floating fragments of cotton lint stirred up by the movements of these men. At length the talking died out One man began to snore without calling out a protest from his companions, and this convinced us that all were asleep and that the time had come to be moving."When Waydown Be bee gits on dat cape coat of his an goes sailing down Broadway, nobody believes dat he owns all dis town below Bleecker street. Dey is right onto him for a chap who couldn't buy fifteen cents' worth of paregoric an hev 'nuff cash left to ride home on de kyar. I saw one of our members gwine into a bank de odder day wid great stiffness an importance, He just reckoned dat ober fo'ty thousand people would believe he was gwine in dar to git $20,- 000 in cash an buy a house on Lexington avenue, but he was deceived. I dun saw a man look arter him an say, 'I wonder if dat nigger ia gwine to carry coal in?' T'ie sugar schools to be started at tht erperimental stations should have some 'if the sweet girl graduates among theii pupils.—New Orleans Picayune. It is said to be th® worst railroad evei born in captivity. 1 could hardly beij comparing it with the road in Michjgai leading out from Manistee, which hai never had a dollar of debt. I think. ThC stock has never been for sale; the logD hauled over it are sufficient to pay al running expenses. The only passengei conductor on the road is also genera passenger agent, assistant general pas senger agent, auditor, general westen freight agent, assistant general prea agent and ex-officio president. "I don't exactly know," she said doubtfully. "I've been thinking of that and I think we must have been robbed. That's the only way I can explain it. What do you think we had better do about it?" "My dad knowed Andy Johnson when he left No'th Caliny and come over the mountains to Greenville to start a tailorin, and he didn't know B from a bull's foot. Now see whar he is," and Bell lifted his arm into the darkness. Turkey red is made from the maddet plant, which grows in Hindostan. It it probable that the madder it gets the redder it becomes.—New Orleans Picayune. AT THE LOTTERY. It was at this time' that a very handsomely dressed man, with a rich looking velvet coat and purple plush hat, struck, no doubt, by my own taste in dress, approached me with a deferential air. He inquired if 1 would mind throwing for him. 1 asked him why he did not throw for himself. He replied in a beautifully modulated voice that he had thrown several times and had been so fortunate that the proprietor had barred him out Captain Bell begged me to come down to see him in July. He was going to make his home at Greenville for the present, and Molly MacNeal, whose father was now dead, was coming over to meet him, and they were "to be married on sight," on the 10th. He puffed his pipe in solemn silence for a moment and then suggested: Spokesman for Party—Will you tell the minister, please, that while there's so much fever a-going 'rour-d, our parents don't want us to come to Sunday school; and please can you tell us in what pond his son caught that big full yesterday?—Life. Force of Habit. I told my friend that Governor Johnson had been helped very much by his wife, and I suggested that if he got a good wife she would no doubt aid him to achieve his laudable ambition. "We might stop keeping books. That'n easier than complaining to the police."— Chicago Tribune. Cricket is now being played by man) well established clubs in the vicinity of New York, and these clubs count among their members many clergymen of English birth, who are among the best and most enthusiastic of players. It was one of these who the other Sunday following a Saturday when he had been one of the victors in a hard fought match delighted his congregation by gravely announcing from the sacred desk, "Here endeth the first innings." — Christian Union. From the entrance of these men, Bell and I held firm hold of each other's left hands so that we might not be separated in the darkness. As if moved by one will we crept out to where the weary horses were standing with lowered heads and drooping hips. Bell tried to pull one away, but I whispered that it would be safe to free the horses, even if we could not ride them. We hurriedly pulled over the halters and the alarmed horses started away. One of the animals must have tried to leap the fence, for it came down with a crash, followed by snorting and the sound of flying hoofs. Shouts and oaths came from the ginhouse, and a man in the door called out: At Lula we got what we called din ner. It was such a meal as you woulc naturally expect in a town named Lula The hotel was run by a sad faced womai in middle life who bad probably twent, years ago rashly made a bet that sh could snbsist for twenty years on he own cooking. 1 would like to give D list of the different articles which we at« there, but 1 never knew what they were and 1 hate to describe anything unless am fully posted regarding it. What wi had in onr coffee cupe 1 inferred wa coffee, but it might have been, for all conld see to the contrary, the abandons right of way of the Lnla and Helen railroad. Although 1 was not in the best traveling condition myself, for I was on cratches, 1 was once more my own master, and I determined to be present at the wedding of my friend. On the 6th of July I reached Greenville, which had then risen into much importance as the home of President Johnson. Some of the citizens showed me with pride his old shop and the sign, "A. Johnson, Tailor." Our provost marshal at Greenville, on my making inquiry about Captain Bell, said: Too Familiar, He laughed for some time, as if enjoying bis secret thoughts, ana in reply to my question as to the cause, he said: Somebody says it is very vulgar to speak of your husband by his last name, and criticises Mrs. Henrv M. Stanley for doing so. The woman knew of a dear little morsel of femininity who married a grave and dignified young lawyer and went to housekeeping in a love of a cottage with a Hibernian cook. The little woman in her young bridehood could not muster sufficient dignity of speech to call her liege lord Mr. Jones, even to the cook, but affectionately designated him "Harry." And one day when there was company, Bridget came to the parlor door and announced, "Lunch if ready, and will yez be waitin for Harry, ma'am?" He told me to throw for him, bring him the prize and he would give me a ticket into the circus. As this would give me the use of q»y own dollar for refreshments.and save me the annoyance of carrying eight or nine barrels of water to a parched and arid elephant, 1 took his dollar and put it in my inside pocket along with my own dollar, which resembled it very much. "I was jist a thinkin of how many times durin our 'scape I've told that cussed story about my bein a wounded Confed, a tryin to get back to my pore wife and chillen in the mountains. W'y, I was nigh 'most comin to believe that 1 was reg'larly married, and had a lot of yaller headed young uns a-watchin fo' my return. But I'm a-gwine to give you uns a dead secret." Customer—Is this the lutest style of Burglar alarm? Clerk—Yt»s, sir. The Burglar Alarm. "I saw anoder member standin down by the possoffis an lookin at de Astor House. He walked up an down an looked an looked. He wanted people to emagine dat he was gwine to buy dat hotel. He felt in his pocket an he asked a man if Mr. Astor was home, but he deceived no one. I was standin right dar when a policeman said he mus' dun move on or he'd give him de collar. "What is the principle of it?" "It rings a bell when the burglar raises the window, and by means of an indicator tells in what part of the house an entrance is being attempted." Bli Idea. House Hunter (at the seaside) — I thought this was a furnished cottage. You certainly said "furnished cottage" in your advertisement, but I don't see a stick of furniture in the house. "And am I supposed to get out of bed and grapple hand to hand in the darkness with the burglar or burglars?" "Captain Tom Bell is dead." "Jist a word or two mo. From whar I stan I kin count no less dan forty-two great, large diamond pins glitterin onde shirt bosums an neckscarfs of members, an I reckon dere ar' forty-two mo' on de bj*:k rows. De ideah wid ebery single one of yo' is to make de public believe 3'o'r pin cost at least $500, an dat yo' is rollin in richness. Does de public so believe? Not much! De public knows winder glass when it sees it, an de public pities yo' fur yo'r childish vanity. We will now put out de fiah, upset de water pail an depart to our various homes."—New York World. 1 went to the lottery, which was near by and in sight. Need 1 add that at the very first throw 1 drew the capital prize of fifty dollars? Great applause greeted me from the skun victims, who stood around in a large, open mouthed multitude. Once more enthusiasm in the game manifested itself. "Who in h—1 are you?" Seeing that he paused, I assured him that I should remain silent as to any communication he chose to make until he gave me leave to speak. Very slowly and with a solemnity that struck me as being very inappropriate, Bell continued: "Dead!" I exclaimed, and I felt giddy and cold. "How long has he been dead? Where did he die? How did he die?" "Yes, unless you can get your wife to do it instead." "Yankees, cuss you!" responded Bell, and at the same instant he drew the pistol Watts had given him, and fired. Estate Agent—Of course not. I fur nish the cottage and yon furnish tha furniture.—American Grocer. During the afternoon we rode tbrougi one enorwons and almost continuou cotton field. The negroes (pronounceC niggroes) were jnst closing up the thin and last picking. The first picking, believe, occurs in October, but as th bolls are not open very much th yield is small. A few weeks later th principal picking takes place; the thirD follows the first heavy frost, when tb pods are fully opened. In response to my torrent of questions, the provost told me that on July 1 Bell went to Bristol to see a friend—one of his men, who was still in hospital. He expected to be back on the 2d, for he was taking an active part in the preparations the Union people of Greenville were making to celebrate this particular Fourth with fitting ceremonies and rejoicings, but he did not return. "Humph, I guess we'll make the old style burglar alarm, the dog, last a little longer."—Yankee Blade. We did not wait to learn the result, bat with the north star at oar backs we ran till we felt that we were out of daDger. Somehow the story got out at the club, and Mr. Jones never quite forgave his spouse, though thereafter she punctiliously called him "Mr. Jones" until he came to be "Judge."—Boston Post. "I'm in love with a gal down Asheville way, and have been since the yeah befoh the wah. She cottons up to me, you ken bet yer last picayune. And jest ez soon ez the fuss is ovah me and her'll splice." In tlie Restaurant. An Appropriate Name. "A fast horse, is he?" "Throw again!" "Bust the lottery!" "Do 'em up!" shouted Jhe sore and busted yahoqtf who yearned to see deserved retribution overtake the enterprise. As we walked on, panting and whispering onr congratulations over our narrow escape, the stars paled and pink edged clouds became visible overhead. It was Aug. 6. With daylight came the roar of guns to the left. We hurried np a jungle covered hill and had just reached the crest, when from the green bank in front came the ominons clicking of a number of rifles, followed by the hoarse command: "Trots like a streak of greased lightning."How to Get On. In response to my inquiry as to her appearance, wealth and intelligence, he said, as nearly as I can recall: Mrs. Suddenrich (a smart woman)— Did ye write to the Highstyle Engraving company for specimens of all their latest visitin cards? "Well, that's fast enough. What do you call him?" "No," said I thoughtfully, with a wisdom belying my appearance, "1 care not to throw again for myself, for I have been gifted with an-acmnen far beyond my years. But 1 will throw for a gentleman who has just asked me to do so for him." Briefly, this is the story: The mountaineers who had been in the Union army were returning home with their discharges and an unusual amount of money—for them—in their pockets. Many of these men were assembled at Bristol when Bell reached there. Despite the precaution of the provost and his guard, whisky was to be had, and a majority of the returned Union men kept drunk, when out of the guardhouse, and many of the veterans of Lee's and Johnston's armies were forced, not reluctantly, to join in these orgies. "What Ma Says." The cotton we have been ridin through today is spoken of sarcasticall by a man who sits with me, and wh lives on higher ground, as bumblebe "What Ma Says! That's a strange name. Why do you call him that?" "Because what ma says goes."—Cape Cod Item. "Waal, cap, ther aint none of we nns ez ia what folks that live in towns and on plantations ed call even tollably well off. Molly's a preacher's daughter, and ef thar's another preacher in No'th Caliny can come up to him in offhand talkin and prayin, or in downright Screpture argyment, I'd like to see him trot himself out and show his paces fo' money. But w'en I tell you and all the world that no man dar come to my face and tell me he's seed a purtier gal anywheres a-top of the Lor's green airth than Molly MacNeal, you can git an idea of her looks. As to larnin, why, Molly MacNeal, she could give us big odds, more particularly me, and then pass us, jest az if we wasn't in the race, but kinder lookin on." Daughter—Yes, maw, an they just sent 'em—'bout a hundred of 'em, all sorts an kinds. Viewed Literally. cotton, which is short in staple and ii ferior in quality. The cotton buyer ha a way of palling out a wisp of cotto from the bale, and with a dexterity n suiting from long continued practice h squares the lock at either end, so that b is able to know the exact length of tb fiber, or staple, measuring it with hi eye and telling you accurately what it market value would be. It reminds me of the wonderful sagaC ity of the wheat buyer of the northwes who runs his hand into a bin of whea blows out the chaff, weighs it in h hand, estimates the shrinkage per cockl In less time than it takes to tell it, I had drawn a beautiful bone collar button and joyfully conveyed it to the well dressed and refined looting gentleman. "What names is on 'em?" "Names of all th' big bugs in th' city." "Pnt 'em on th' parlor table."—New York Weekly. Hard. "Halt! Who goes there?" "Friends without the countersign," I Marie—He wretch! broke her heart — the replied. Celeste—Did he jilt her? "Advance, friends, one at a time." This was said with something like a laugh, and we caught the words, "More Johnnies deserting." Marie—No; he insisted on her keeping her engagement when she had a better offer.—Life. From what he said and the way he kicked large holes in the ground and refused to give me my circus ticket, I judge that he felt hurt about something. Contrary to Pubile Policy. "The court," said the judge, "overrules the plea of 'no cause of action.' When a tailor exposes in his front window an account against a young man and affixes a placard announcing that it is for sale at five cents on the dollar he strikes a blow at the foundations of our best society and may be sued for heavy damages. Gentlemen, you will proceed with the trial."—Chicago Tribune. A FEW IMPORTED TAKING A BACK BEAT. W RAPPEES. Customer—How is it you have charged me two shillings for this lobster, while it is only put down at eighteen pence in the bill of fare? We advanced, tfeli naa dropped ms pistol. A hundred feet through the jungle and there, thank G-od, was a group of men in the blue uniform of the republic.Among the ex-Union soldiers in Bristol at that time was a sergeant of the First Federal North Carolina named Burns, with whom Bell had had a fight when they were boys of nineteen—that was three years before the war. Bell Bupposed that the quarrel was forgotten, for he had frequently met Burns afterward, both before and during the war, without having it alluded to. But on this occasion Burns was drunk. He—And you did not forget that we were engaged, did you, Maud, while you were away? After Her Return. —Truth. Ftp'i Inducement. Teacher—Why do you come to Sunday ■chool, my little man? Little Man—Pap said he'd cut my ean off if I didn't.—New York Herald. Waiter—Please, sir, it's all right. The lobster I brought you is a good deal fresher than the one marked in the bill of fare.—Frankfurter Zeitcing. She—No, George; I couldn't. Mamma kept reminding me of it all the time — Harper's Bazar. Obliging. We told them onr story, but they heard it with incredulity. A sergeant and two men led us back till we came to a point where the defenses of the Chattahoochee bridge were visible. Bell and I came to a halt, and embracing each other we gave way to tears, for over there streaming out against the bluest of skies was the object of all our suffering, the goal of all our efforts, the glorious stars and stripes. We met Colonel W. W. Wright, of the construction corps, at the bridge. He was an old friend, but it was some time before he recognized me, but after that welcoming hands were extended to us till we received a royal welcome at Marietta. pigeon grass seed, wild buckwheat, etc also grading it and telling you acci rately the market value of the entire lot. He has the same profound air of seek-nofurther knowledge of the old projector of the gold mines, who takes a lump of ordinary looking rock from the dump, blows hard on it, wipes it on a shiny side of his trousers leg, puts a pocket glass on it, looks far away, seeming to place himself back at the beginning of the world, when the geological formation of the earth was being arranged, and gives an opinion which may cost some gentle pilgrim from Wall street a million of dollars. Except in the meeting of the Seventh Day Baptists up on the Tallulah, I never heard Bell more eloquent than he was on the subject of Molly MacNeal, and he capped all her other excellences by declaring with an oath—I had learned that he was intensely earnest rather than profane—that there was not to be found from one end of the Blue Ridge to the other more loyal people than the MacNeals. To prove the latter statement. Bell said: Why He Wished to Avoid It. "There comes Filkins. Let's go around the block." A Race Against Time. His Favorite Besort. A Catting Insinuation. He was standing before the mirroi with an agonized expression on his face, trying to accomplish the proper knot in his new four-in-hand. There were only five minutes for him to do it in, and the more he tried to hurry the farther away he seemed to get from his desired goal. Just then McCollom lounged in and stood watching the process with an exasperating grin. "Kind of a race against time, isn't it?" said he. "Yes," replied Hackett, despairingly, "and it doesn't look as if it would result in a tie either." —Boston Post. Doctor—What do I see, Herr Krause, you sitting here in the damp wine cellar? "What's the matter? Had a quarrel with him?" Bell was very abstemious—for a mountaineer. His friends induced him to enter a saloon, or some place where liquor was secretly sold. Burns came in soon after, with a pistol in his belt and murder in his drunken eyes. Patient—You ordered me change of air, and you will readily admit that the air down here is very different from that in the room above.—Humoristische Blat ter. "Oh, no; we're the b*ji of friends." "Owe him money?" "Not a cent." "Think he wants to oorrow?" "No; he always has money." "Always has a hard luck story to tell, perhaps?-' Hot words, oaths, then two men stood facing each other with pistols. Burns was shot through the shoulder and Bell fell dead with a bullet in his heart. 'he Sole Barrier. "Why. way back in '61 a kipple came to Dominie MacNeal and axed to be married. The feller was dressed in a new rebel uniform, az fine as you please, and he offered two dollars to have the job done right off, but the old man told him he'd see him d—d first, and then he kicked him out of the house. Now, that's what I call piety to God and loyalty to the old fiatr." H 0 finl /IP ,Ttr m. tA 11 "Never knew him to tell one in all the years I've known him." I met a Confederate Tennesseean who had seen the fight, and he said: "Well, why in the world don't you want to meet him?" New Orleans is doubtless more agitated at the present time over the state lottery than she has ever before been. It is a national question, however, for the state and city are almost hopelessly in its power. 1 wonder that some great New York paper—a feature paper looking for a large job of reformation—in- instead of fighting windmills with a squirt gun, does not take off its coat and free the state of Louisiana from her pitiful slavery. "Perhaps you could spare one of those seats, sir." CHAPTER XIL ■ ■ — iT-" ' If THE END OF THE STORY AND OF BELL'S LIFE. "Hit was all on account of Tom's right arm bein gone. You see the trigger kinder ketched in his belt and he lost a good three seconds. Ef hit hadn't a-been fo' that hit'd a been goodby Mr. Burns." "He has a baby that is always saying bright things."—Chicago Tribune. Beaver—That was a sad thing about Bilderwick. He ordered a seventy-five dollar overcoat, and the day after it wa» delivered he was taken down with typhoid, and won't be able to wear it for a year. The Sad Fart of It. This story ends really with onr entering our lines on the Chattahoochee, but I feel that those who have read so far are interested in Bell's subsequent career; they naturally infer that I, who am writing twenty-six years after the Throe Excellent Doctors. Some of the eminent physicians of Paris were assembled about the death bed of Dumoulin, the most celebrated doctor of his day. In his new fatigne uniform, with a white collar and clean shaven, except as to his reddish mustache, Bell was as handsome a man as I had seen in the army. When we came to part the next morning he threw his arms about me and kissed me, leaving tears on my cheek that were not my own, and then hurried »way, nor looked back once. -5*tolfl HttJ&fltMwMjifltmacU. at Bell's body was brought down and buried at Knoxville. This had been done before my arrival. Melton—Will he be able to wear it next year? To their expressions of grief at the expected loss to the profession, the dying man answered: events I have tried to describe, am all right I can say with truth that I never met a more original or a more manly man than Tom Bell. If he had been ed- On my return from Knoxville I stopped again at Greenville, where I learned that Miss MacNeal was still a guest of the Rev. Mr. MacElroy. I called, nor was I disappointed to find that Bhe was neither a Hebe in youthful beauty nor a Minerva ia Mis? MacSTeal "Why do you weep, Caius?" Beaver—Oh, yes. But think of having to wear a new overcoat the same year yon pay for it.—Clothier and Furnisher."Excuse these unmanly tears, Lucullus, but I cannot stop their flow when I think that so small a trifle as a stick of chewing gum or perhaps a solitary caramel is all that stands between me and complete happiness.'U-^ife. "Gentlemen, I shall leave behind ma three excellent doctors to supply my absence." Being pressed to namq them, aa each man expected to be included fy the trio, he said, "Water, exercise diet, VYotttfa'a Companion. * ■ Within the last six months a member of the legislature died. What became of his soul 1 haven't the slightest idea, but on his body was found a shirt in which had been sewed seventeen $1,000 bills, which represented hi| sayioga dor- Elderly Beauty—I have suffered horribly from toothache these last few days. I wonder what it comes from? ncated and lived at a different time he would have made his mark and left (ha jmpww of grgat Mepta on the record of Th® Vital Qao»tion. Ernestine—Howard is rather soft. Cefcetine—I dop't pare so long aa he's ggft,Epoch, .... * 1 Her MAid—Perhaps the dressing table stood ia « draft. arSnassYosel, ii - m "CSBTALXLY, MADAME.