Pittston Gazette

              Oldest NewsDaoer iD the Wyoming Valley PITTSTON, LUZERNE CO., PA., FRIDAY, AUGUST 28, 1891. A Weedy Local and l amilv Journal, flfECHAM' PILLS EFFECTl BT A WONDERFUL MEDICINE. For BILIOUS & NERVOUS DISORDERSs Sick Headache, Weak Stomach, Impaireo Constipation, Disordered Liver, e Old Tilings Are Best. Charles Jefferson was the pioneer of Buzzard's Bay. lie bought at thirtytwo dollars per acre what is now selling by the front foot along the beautiful waters of Buttermilk bay, I think it is, an arm of Buzzard's bay, and now one may see at eventido the halo and sleek Charles gloating over his ill gotten gains, while near by is the hospitable roof of his father's cheery house on one side and the pretty cottages of Tom and Mr. Jefferson's sister Conny on the other. Old things are best. We wander So strangely and so lonely From here to that world yonder, Why not grow fonder and fonder In tried affections only? me much younger ana more attractive than they had been led to believe will always find in me a stanch friend. How Slit, Lost liar Lover. Cneompllmentaix ODDS AND ENDS. , Katie Got the Book. I Katie was going to bed after a day of toil minding her sick and maimed dollschronic invalids all of them—and her b-e-a-u-tiful duck, the one old quacker that traveled with the hens because he had no better company. The robin that had been watching her out of the corners of his bright eyes, as he ran over the lawn and listened to her prattle, was asleep already With his head under his wing, and Katie's hung heavily on mother's shoulder as she was undressing her. "Now I lay me" had been said, with many yawns in between, and mamma's pet had been tucked in snugly; but just as the sleepy eyes were t closing she sat suddenly bolt upright. "Mamma," she said, "I want Johnnie's I picture book—that with the lambs." I "Ilush, Katie!" said her mother, the least bit wearily, for the little feet and ths little tongue had never ceased going one moment all day. "Now we will go to sleep." "But, mamma," and thebigeyes pleaded earnestly, "can't 1 have Johnnie's picture book this onst?" "Not tonight, dearie; it is too late." ".Mamma," said ■Kutie, sitting up very ttraight and looking very solemn indeed, "I heard a story of a little girl—she was a good litU» girl—that asked her mamma onst when ijre was put tuubed for the picture book Willi the lamlDs, and the mamma told her she couldn't have it, and—and"— the baby voice fell to an awed whisper and the eyes grew very big—"in just—about— two—minutes—she was deadl" "My, Katiel And what killed her so quick?" "Because," said Katie with conviction, "because she didn't get the book." She got it, and in five minutes wan asleep wiAh it in her arms.—Harper's Young People. '.was a summer ego when he left me here. A summer of smiles with never a tear. Till 1 said to him with a sob. Hy dear! Goodby. my lover: goodbyl Mrs. Cleveland also looks more younger, brighter and more charming than I had expected even to find her. She still shows the same elasticity of step and straightforward glance of sincere and unstudied welcoino that made her the first lady in the land. There (s no fun in doiijtg nothing when you have nothing to do. Never a made up tie undei any canslderation with the neglige shirt. IAL UCH Old friends are best. Their faces Each year seem dearer, dearer. For I loved him. oh, as tho stars love nlghtl And my cheeks for him Hashed red and white When ho first called me his heart's delight: Cootlby, my lover; goodbyl And if low with new found graces; Then, ah! these vacant places New York, Paris and Berlin altogether have not so large an area as London. Hut bring the living nearer. AS Old homes are best. The laughter That tells of childhood's pleasures Beneath the ancient rafter Surpasses all that's after And all of manhood's treasures. In closing, 1 may add that whatever Mrs. Cleveland's age may be, she doesn't look it by at least a year and a half. The touch of Ills hand was a thing divine. As he sat with mo in the soft moonshine And drank of my love as men drink wine: Goodby, my lover: goodbyl California has 8,675 giant trees still left, and of these the largest is 83 feet in diameter.tc., * ■- I was surprised to find Mr. Booth's health so good and his endurance so great. He listened to an entire play ol No fewer than 9,000 works were rejected this year by the hanging coramlttee of the Royal Academy. LIKE MAQIC on the vital organs,strengthening the muscular system, and arousing with the rosebud of health And os-ver a night as 1 knelt in prayer. In a gown as white as our own souls were. Bat in fancy he came and kissed me there: Goodby, my lover, goodbyl Old love Is best. Its sweetness Makes pleasant sorrow's chalice. And, spite of Time's dread fleet nuss, It gains in calm completeness And laughs at Age's malice. The copper wire used in ou tside electrical work is so comparatively valuable that frequent cases of robbery have occurred. The Whole Physical Energy of the Human Frame. Taken as directed these famous pills will prove marvellous restoratives to all enfeebled by any of the above, or kindred diseases. S0LD BY ALL DRUGCISTS, mine and then walked two or three miles. He said he did not mind'to walk after hearing the play. But now, 0 God! what an empty place My wholo heart isl Of tho old embnice And the kiss 1 loved, there is not a trace: Goodby, my lover; goodbyl Mrs. Fangle—Don't you think, Mr. Brown, that I ought to leave Mabel in Paris for a year to bavo her voice cultivated?P. M. Grover, who was decfcid to the office of magistrate at Topt;ka, Kan., has been totally sightless for over thirty year* Old faith is best; the teaching Of heart enshrined mothers. What profits subtle preaching. Or blind and eager reaching for doubt that mocksand smothers? There is more humor about Mr. Booth than I had thought after seeing him as Hamlet. Hamlet, he savs. doe:; not give Him mucn chance that way. 1 inve ot fered to brighten up Hamlet f She had yawned six times, looked at the clock four times and pretended to be hair asleep thr«Ce times, but the young editor who was calling upon her was so much in loVe that he did not observe these manifestations of weariness. At length she said: True to His Motto, Prlo«y fitS oenta per Box. Prepared only by TH08. BEEOHAM, Est. Helens, Lancashire, England, a F. ALLEN CO., Sole Agents for United. States, 3GS CSt 307 Canal St.. Xew York, (who if yot*r druggist doe* not keep them) u-Ul mail Ileeeham's Fills on receipt of price—but inquire first. (Mention this paper.) He sailed not over the stormy sea. And ho went not down in the waves, not he; But o.h. he is lost, for he married me: Goodby, my lover; goodby! —James VVhitcomb Riloy. One of the peculiar customs of the T£n«t Indian coolies called Lascars, is the putting of a ring -on the great toe when they marry. Mr. Brown (who has heard Miss Mabel sing)—I think yon ought to leave her there for at least two years.—Munsey's Weekly. him on JOld waj-saro best; the gladness Of simpler lives and fitter. Ere wealth had come with madness. Or folly left its sadness. a royalty ami he is going to think it over for a few weeks. As 1 wrong his hand at parting he said he might not do it tho coming season and possibly not the season after, so I will have plenty of tiiue to do it in a satisfactory wnv. Asthma may bo greatly relieved by soaking blotting or tissue paper (n strong saltpeter water; dry it, then burn it at night in the sleeping room. The River. Ml miction Bargain Co. And sin its lessons bitter "Most newspapers have mottoes, have Oh, rugged rivcrl restless liver. River of years—river of tears- Thou river of Life! A Libelous Huckster. Old things are best. Tho glimmer Of age forbids new choices. Oh, as inino eyes grow dimmer. faintly across the shimmer Waft rae the old, sweet voices 1 —George Horton. tliev not' Tho huckster drove up to the door of a bouse on Cass avenue and the cook met him at the basement entrance. Oil hardened steel, while i mproving tha quality of tho metal, is Baid by experts t« increase the danger of rupt ire in cases is which the least flaw exists. Mr. Booth, 1 b ave no doubt, is reserved and quiet with strangers, and ou short acquaintance does not seek to be the life of the party, but when he is among old friends be is at his best, and his line eyes often twinkle in a way to make you forget the Cordelia affair and the bad break made bv Hamlet's mother. "Some have." "Has yours one?" bird, flashes its gaudy wing. And drinks its draught of ecstasy from out thy crystal spring. Oh, sunlit river! shadowy riverl Rirer of tears! Yet o'er thy bosom Joy, as u "Yes." "What is it?" "Want any strawberries today?" he asked, as pleasant as a basket of chips. "No," said the woman sharply. "Ner sparrow grass?" "No." "Who goeth a borrowing (;oeth a sorrowing" was doubtless true, in the good old times, but nowadays it is the lender who does the mournful perambulation. "Wo are here to stay." River of gladness—river of sadness— Thou river of Life! Memory "I could have sworn it was something of that kind," she said with a sigh,.and the silence was resumed.—New York River of gladness! Vet o'er the blue of the As we are preparing to take inventory of stock we announce unusual inducements ia all lines to Cash Buyers. Sweet are the rosy memories of the lips That first kissed ours, albeit they kiss no more: Sweet is the sight of sunset-sailing ships. Although they leave us on a lonely shore; Sweet are familiar songs, though Music (lips Her hollow shell in Thought's forlornest wells. beautiful sky floats a cloud ft Out of whose fleecy whiteness the Loom of God is weaving a shroud. Press, "Ner nice fresh fish?' "No." A girl medical student in a western college is the proud recipient [of two prizes won from a competition with seventeen other places. One of the prizes was for the best physical diagnosis of the diseases of children. In looking over the stock of Gents' Furnishings we find that wo have a few Straw Hats which must go at any price. A few stiff hats which must go, if not at 75c or 65c, surely at 5oc or lower. With Mr. Booth's consent I could pnt into "Hamlet" a scene which would offer opportunities for bright dialogue and Sheffield puns that need not detract from the dismal character of the play at all, but still give a modern color to it. Oh, beautiful rivcrl while the «tar of youth U glowing From the silver sprinkled nky. Riter of Life! when health'* elixir flowing. Paints thy waters its rosy dyo. Sunlit riverl when the days are full of peace. And the calm of the song the river sings And the quiet joy the lu 11a.by brings We feel will never cease. And while the waters glow and glisten. Ahl how seldom do we listen To the turning of the ponderous wheel o' Time, Over whose granite Hides are rushing The waves of '.ho river in a symphony sub limel "Ner fine large reddishes?" Cautious. "No." -Owen Meredith. "Ner new pertaters jest from the West Injies, warranted to keep ther eyes shet when the policeman comes in at the back door?" We find a few outing Madras Shirts, which are light and coo]* thing for this hot weather, and they also must go this month. just the Solitnde. If the chosen soul could never be alono la deep midsllence, open-doored to God, No greatness ever had been dreamed or done; Among dull hearts a prophet never grew; The nurse of full grown souls is solitude. —James Russell Lowell. In the list of late patents are one'for a propeller and brake cork packed bicycle, another for the improvement in the construction (if tires for bicycles, others for Improvements in the running gear of road vehicles, and all invented by women. Few men were ever fonder of news and gossip than was old Jerry Clisken. Despite this fondness, however, Jerry was not a talker, and rarely took part in conversation other than to ask an occasional question about some point of special interest. One day Jifrry's brother William, whe lived some miles away, came to visit him, Willuurt had his right hand heavily bandaged, and this fact, "of course, required an early explanation. Wanted to Know. Our Straw Mattings are going fast, very little of our 18c and 20c seamless matting left. You had better secure a piece immediately if in need. You cannot get better value anywhere. Mr. Jefferson is a good host because he is not a host at all. He does not restrain you by taking you in charge constantly. His air is that of oue who gives yon tlie key to the premises and then says help yourself. The etiquette of being a host cannot be learned from books or bought with money. Kindliness of heart and unselfishness of purpose are the spinal column of hospitality. With them fried mush and molasses are toothsome, and without them magnificence is misery and pomp ami pie are powerless. "No," and the cook got red in the face. "Ner new turnip greens, ner peas, nei epinnage, ner"  AMONG CAPE COD FOLKS. % "No, we don't want any of your track." Mr. Keiulal'i Stupidity. a5 per cent, reduction on Parasols, Sun Umbrellas, &c. We also wish to close a lot of fine Shoes for Gentlemen at 20 per cent, reduction. they are all first class goods. Sizes a little broke-up, mostly large. We are sole agents for Demorest Celebrated $ 19.50 Sewing Machine and Demores: Reliable Patterns. "Bill," he sang out to the boy on the wagon, "drive ahead thar'—we've struck a boardin' house."—New York Evening World. The members of the Four Hundred are enjoying a story at the expense of a prominent society lady of this city who is famed for her loud dresses, her elaborate dialers and her faux pas. It seems that while the Kendals were playing in this city a dinner was given in their honor, to which this lady was invited. The Kendals were introduced to those guests whom they had not net before by their own name—Grimstone— Kendal being, as is well known, only their nom de theatre. But when the waters are black and bleeding. Dyed with dread Disease's breath. And we feel the river leading To the fathumloes sea of Death, Then, ahl then, in oar atjony of soul Wo cry: "Oh, wheel of Time, one moment stay! BILL NYE ESCAPES TO THE SECLU- SION OF COHASSET "Burnt it 'most off't tlie. fire t' other night," said William. "Ye see, old 'Square Dean's barn got afire, 'n' I went with the rest; but 'twan't any use, 'bout everything wa3 burnt. If I wuz the 'square I'd give that boy sech a lickin' 't he couldn't stan'." i l—-imt: 4 '■ An Important Meeting. Now is the time to buy in all our lines, you will find something that we shall dispose of at your own price. How lie Let His Light Sliino Upon Joe Mr. De Cash—Very sorry, my dear, but I cannot accompany yon today. I must attend a meeting of the board of directors of the Happy Go-Lucky National bank. Jefferson, Edwin Booth and Stuart Hob- Turn book the river anil eeaso to roll. For a life we love is passing away." Bat God is the miller, and the wheel is turning, Though Grief's hot irons our hearts are burnins;.Your Respectfully, son—A Thrilling Interview with a Hear. Good hunting and fishing occur near the Jefferson and Cleveland homes. Deer are plenty, and we ran ttpon a bear while out walking. "Hist!" said Charles. "I will creep up on him." I said why not go home and spend the evening pleasantly at baccarat? Why kill, perhaps, a parent bear whose little ones might come to want? At this I starteil toward the house, deftly bounding over a sassafras bush and carroming on a tree by means of my head. At that moment the crack of Charley's rifle rang out through the gathering twilight. 1 saw the head of the low, coarse brute droop and fall from the log over which it had been peering. Cads with Cameras. "What for?" asked the interested Jerry. "Why, fur settin' the barn alire," was the reply; "but there! I furgot ter tell ye 'bout that part of it. Ye see the square's boy—great dough head—he found an owJ settin' on the ridge pole, and so, of course, he had ter shoot at it. NATIONAL AUCTION BARGAIN CO. [Copyright, 1891, by Edgar W. Nye.] And the river's song—is only a moan. And the grinding w heel -«ouuds a groan. Mrs. De Cash—What have you to do with that institution? When the time for the company to go to the dining room arrived Mrs. X., whc had been told that she was to be escorted to the table by Mr. Kendal, was amazed when a certain Mr. Grimstone was presented to her, who thereupon offered her bis arm, and Ijefore she had an opportunity to protest, led her to the adjoining apartment. She was so furious at what she thought was the deception practiced upoa her that she was hardlv civil to her escort, replying to his polite speeches with monosyllables and addressing most of her remarks to her neighbors on the opposite side of the table. Cape Cod, Mass.—Marvelous are the ways of travel in these days, and how little sympathy is given to the tale of the tired old "tie wig" of other times who moans over the loss of "them good old days." So far as I am concerned, he is welcome to his good old (lays. I, too; have tasted of the times when travel was free from conventionality and coal dust. He—It is understood that this is to bo merely a summer flirtation? She—Of course. • •lit But from out our midnight gloom "I am one of the board of directors." Look up! God knowcst best. See the lifo we love as it catchcs the bloom "You never attended a meeting of the board before, and I don't see why you should break up my programme for that today." He—Everything is to be returned when we break? Of Infinite radiance and restl Its waters have mingled with the crystal stream 12 North Main St., *PITTSTON. PH.# She—E very thi ng. Flowing so close to tho throne. And the waves have caught the golden glean "Wal, the barn winder was open, 'n' the gunwad went right inter the haymow, 'n' 'twan't five minutes afore 'twas all a-blazin'. Everybody turned out, and we got out the old hoss, 'n' then Bill Treat said"— and so the old man went on with a long story, giving every detail of what was done, said and thought by each one who was present at the lire. He—Good. I think we may with safely take a moonlight stroll. Will you take my arm?—Life. "But, my dear, this meeting is important. It is to find out how our cashier managed to steal $500,000 without our knowing it."—New York Weekly. And the river's voice, God's tender tone. And tho river in heaven in Its crystal calm Found its way through the golden bare. Flowing upward, beyond the garden of stars. To the feet of God and his Lamb. Oh, royal rlverl radiant Hverl River of Light—river of Life— Thou river of God! Grand auction Sale! A Sixth avenue confectioner, who has a large soda fountain, found it necessary the other day to remove a lot of goods from a front window and spread a dozen sheets of tanglefoot fly paper where they would do the most good. The fly came and saw, anCl was caught by the feet and held fast until his brief life went out like a sputtering candle. The boys who looked through tho window were congratulating the confectioner as the sun went down and the silent shadows of evening began creeping noiselessly up and down the long avenue. They had just estimated the number of dead at 10,000, when a young lady, accotepunied by a sturdy pug dog in the usual harness, swept into the store and called for cream nectar. Her attention was no sooner taken up with the foaming beverage than the pug began to investigate. Gone, but Not Forgotten. A Threnody. A bite! a bite! The lino grows tight; I foel a sudden thrill of bliss: A mighty swish Proclaims a fish At least as long as this: After the dinner was over and the guests had reassembled in the drawing room, she approached her hostess and said indignantly: "That was a pretty triek you played upon me. I thought you told me that Mr. Kendal was going to be here, and that he was to take me to dinner. Instead of that you palmed off a mere nobddy on me. and the stupidest person I've met this winter I was hardly able to be decent to him." When at last the story was ended old Jerry remained for several minutes silently meditating on what he had heard; then he suddenly looked up and gravely asked, "Did ye say whether the boy killed Uie owlf"—Youth's Companion. Then we .all rushed forward to see him, though I hung back a little, being only a guest, of course, and h-D a little reticent, also remembering, too, that one of my ancestors who once went up to take the temperature of a wounded bear never came home any morei though over one hundred years have now crept slowly by, Lorena. When we got there we saw that the bear was dead. -Mary EL III1L A crass band of twt nty-ono Pieces, which had been marching about the streets playing pulse quickening musics stopped for a moment before a market place, and an Ox, which had been following on behind, found himself for the nonce beside a team of other oxen, who stood yoked to a heavy cart. Tli© Idta Oi- -A POSITIVELY RETIRING fROM 0USINESS. i  Ruiwiit (lonm.r and Ills fauiLnsRoadsters. Alas! alas! It comes to pass (As oft it has with you, I wis) I pull him out; He is a trout As long, perhaps, as this: Ilobert Bonner, who set the fashion foi baying notably fast trotters at long price* h-is always refrained from taking part in a contest between horses, or even against time for a money consideration. No other man has owned as many famous performers as Mr. Bonner, or paid as much for the pleasure of driving a speedy roadster. He had several remarkably good horses before he purchased Dexter, in 1867, on the very day that the white faced gelding lowered the trotting record to 2:17% at Buffalo, but the price, 133,000, was unprecedented, and the possession of the king of the turf gave Mr. Bonner a more extended reputation as a horseman than he had before possessed. Since then he has been always a liberal buyer, and, excepting Goldsmith Maid awl St. Julien, has secured every champion trotter that has yet appeared. WATCHES, DIAMONDS, "I am very sorry," replied the hostesA sweetly, understanding at once the situation, "that you found Mr. Grimstone stu piiL He is generally considered very intel ligent and interesting. Besides, my dear, he really isn't a nobody. Grimstone is his family name, but on the stage he is known as Mr. Kendal " We also saw a striug—a long, white string—attached to the bear and leading off toward a large tree. It was attached to Thomas Jefferson also. The bear was a taxidermed rng, which the reader may see at the home of Mr. Jefferson on a still day. "Hard at it, I see," said the unburdened Ox pleasantly. JEWELRY AND SILVERWARE, "Yes," replied one of the Team. "What job are you in now?" "I'm not doing anything at present," replied tho other, picking np a straw and holding it carelessly between his lips. —Detroit Free Preaa. The Stock of OSCAR II EYE It. Kismet. Then she sailed away, leaving Mrs. X. in * state of mind that can be better imagined than described.—New York Telegram. Several present laughed at this. I laughed with them, but it was like the hollow and simulated mirth of a man who has a bright little 6on of his own, but who is compelled to laugh at the humorous remarks of another boy an given by his father. "You're looking well," said the Off Ox in the Yoke. la her brown eyes her woman's soul Shines radiant as the dawn; If we but meet, my self control 79 WELLES BUILDING, WILKESBARRE. "Y-hes; gained a hundred and fifty pounds in three weeks. That's pretty good, ain't it?" Is gone. A Literary t/urloslty. After taking a tonr around the store he leaped into the window to see what discoveries awaited him there, and he landed square and fair in the center of the broad field of tanglefoot. He uttered a yelp as he discovered he had put his four feet in it—rolled over and over— yelled some more, and then an object tumbled out on the floor and made the circle of the store and shot outdoors into the gloom. It was a pug dog with nine sheets of fly paper attached to him in the most picturesque fashion, and his size was increased until he appeared like a flour barrel rolling around. A. rentable literary curiosity is ths Invitation to the annual dinner of the Fortnightly Shakespeare club in New York. It reads this way: Her low, sweet brow, her soft, brown hair Her beauty make complete; When she comes near the very air Seems sweet. tHWM Sltllfll, HEIST 15l|, II 7:31 P. I HIS OLD TIME CLOTHES. "I sh'd say so. Where are you going uow?" but I do not pine for the return of those days. I can recall the days when our family clothed itself from the wool of our own slender flock, and when my mother cut ont my clothes by means of a pruning knife. People who criticise my appearance now should have cast their eye over Buzzard's Bay is destined to bo a very prosperous and well known locality— possibly too much so to please those who have gone there to make a quiet home. While we sat on Mr. Jefferson's porch several carriages were driven in over the •private drive, came up tinndly, turned so that the occupants could get a good view of the group, a kodak lunch box clicked and then they drove reluctantly away. At such times it was amusing to see Mr. Booth and Mr. Jefferson apparently take it for granted that they were the objects of the visitors' curiosity. "Just walking around listening to the music. They're tuning up now. Ta, tal" and the snare drum rattled, the cornets burst forth and the Ox marched away to the Oom puin pum of the big bass Horn. "Good friends, sweet friends (Julius Cajsar), 'tis hot June (Henry IV), (but) there are sweet roses in the summor ;iii (Love's Labor Lost), (which) sweetly recommends itielf unto our gentle senses (Macbeth). and continued every afternoon and evening until all is sold. All goods war ranted as represented. She has a tender, gentle voice That pleases every car; Whene'er she speaks, men's heart's rejoiceDexter at on« time was an inmate of hia stable on West Fifty-fifth street. Rarus, now 24 years old, will not leave his stall again till ho is carried out, for his crippled front feet, which troubled him even in his best days, have now entirely failed him. Maud S, too, has trotted her last mile against time, and the peerless chestnut mare retires, in her seventeenth year, to Mr. Bonner's farm at Tarrytown, on the Hudson, where she will be mated with his Uallion Ansel, record 2:30, by Electioneer, and hereafter will be used for breeding. While she twice reducsd her record after Mr. Bonner purchased her, it is probable that the daughter of Harold conld have set the mark still lower, as she was only 11 years old when she trotted her last publio mile at Cleveland, July 23, 1885.—Harper's Weekly. CARD TO THE PUBLIC—I am going out of the jewelry busi nesa and take this method of disposing of my stor k. You will find in this stock some of the finest watches made. The silver plated ware is all first class ; also the jewelry. Such an opportunity may not occur again soon to secur. first class goods at your own price. I have secured Col. Rutherford to con duct tht sale, as he is the best posted jewelry auctioneer in the country ano will give you an honest description of all goods 'old. Attend these sales ii you want bargains. I war rant all goods as represented. Ta hear. And yet, her road to happiness Is barred with iron doors. Because, her little brother says, She snores. —Somerville Journal "We hold a feast (Midsummer Night) It will be pastime passing excellent (Taming of the Shrew). The IDeauty of the king dom will lie there (Henry VIII). Please grace us with your company (Macbeth). You shall be welcome (Pericles). me then. "And we stay behind and tug this Blame Cart," said the Nigh Ox. "What kind of a soft snap has he got, anyway?" But look now at the swift and beautiful schedules of our vast railway systems, gridironing as I may Bay the great and prosperous land. Everywhere, too, new pleasure and health resorts are springing up. From Bar Harbor to St. Augustine, the entire Atlantic coast is fringed with beautiful seaside cottages and taverns for the rich, the middle sized rich, and even those who can afford only a day or two by the side of the odd smelling sea. "If you'd a-read the lettering on hia blanket you wouldn't bo kicking," replied the Off Ox. Smelt a Rat. "It's my pug!" shrieked the young lady as sho choked over the nectar and let the glass fall. "And when does the wedding take place?" inquired the old stationer, jestingly."Excuses shall not be admitted (Henry IV), and so fail not our feast (Macbeth). "What did it say?" "That you do love me I am nothing jealous (Julius Caesar), and so, I pray you. come, sit down and do your best (Winter's Tale). fKPAP I-lkVEP 79 WELLES BUILD NC, UjLaIV. nci DI\, West Side of Square. "Barbecue at Schmitt's Park Tomorrow."I allowed them to think so. They still think so. "Stop the guyasticutus!" shouted the boys as they gave chase up the avenue. "Why, you don't think"—she blushed and hesitated. The "thing" dodged in and out among pedestrians, crossed and recrossed the Btreet, rolled over and over and played all kinds of circus, and at length distanced all pursuit and was lost sight of perhaps forever. For two long hours a frail female figure clothed in white wandered up and down and called "Tommy!" "Tommy!" in a voice bent all out of plumb with emotion, but "Tommy" gave no sign.—New York Evening World. Moral--If your Friend wants to have a little Fun, let him."—Detroit Free Press. "Ah, fraulein, when young ladies buy a hundred sheets of paper and only twenty-five envelopes, I know there's always something behind it."—Fliegenda Blatter. "We know each other well (Trolius and Cressida). Let's tike the instant by the foreward top (All's Well), frame our minds to mirth and merriment, which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life (Taming of the Shrew). (We'll e'en) be red with mirth (Winter's Tale), and fleet the time as carelessly as they did in the golden time (As You Like It). (ESTABLISHED 1878.) Pleasant people also drive up in front of Mr. Robson's and Mr. Crane's and Mr. Barrett's homes at Cohasset; then, having mentally criticised the housekeeping and checked off the clothes on the line in the back yard, they go away with a distorted 2-inch photograph and a happy heart. The American people are certainly a pushing people. They will some day become so confident anil so self possessed that every country home will have its drawbridge, its catapult and its shotgun. Good Meai T. R. STALEY, I started a few weeks ago from my North Carolina retreat, and in twentyfour enjoyable hours was in New York without change. It was not the first time I had found myself in New York without change, and by a recent arrangement the Pennsylvania railroad—which, by the way, 1 have always regarded as one of our most talented' and gifted roads—has established a sleeping car service, by means of which, without change, the New Yorker may, inside of twenty-four hours, find himself in the high and healthful hills of western North Carolina with an appetite certainly ouf of proportion to his income. Some Historical Antipathies. PITTSTON'S ■*I like to see cats about; but if one rubs against my flesh it almost sends me into fits, and nothing could make me touch one voluntarily," remarked a young lady recently. "Stuff and nonsense!" said one of her listeners, "I've no patience with such intipathies." Many people take the same view of these peculiar dislikes, but history records some strange instances of pet aversions which seem to have a foundation in tiorc than "stuff and nonsense." LEADING WATCHMAKER. Extortion. "Look at our whisk brooms—only tea cents," read Schoeppenstedt from the placard in the drugstore window. Then he called the proprietor to the door and asked: (21 years expei fence ) "But wherefore waste I time to counsel thee (Two Gentlemen). Brief let me 1* (Hamlet). If 'twere done, when 'tis done it were well it were done quickly (Macbeth).Fine English and American Watchet Repaired. Watches, Spectacles, See. "Isn't that rather a high price to charge just for looking at your whisk brooms?" —Somerville Journal. "Write it straight (As You Like It), a rare letter (Twelfth N'ight) (aye), a fine volley of works and quickly shot off (Cymbcliae).STATIONERY DEPARTMENT. Sometimes visitors get Robson and Crane mixed up and so put them in the wrong residences. For instance, we will A Yonng Chevalier. A good looking young lady, with a pair of seashore shoes on, was crossing City Hall park the other day with the strings of one shoe flipping and flopping about with every step she took. She knew all about it, and she realized that every man she met was looking right at that foot, but she hadn't the nerve to stop and tie the strings. The situation caught the eye of a small bootblack who crossed her path, and he did tha right thing at tlio right time and in the neatest manner. Running up to her he dropped on his knees and placed his bos for her foot. She placed it there, and he gathered up the strings, deftly tied them into a double bow knot and rose up and doffed his cap and bowed like a little gentleman. t? Customer—You didn't leave any ic« bere yesterday. Joseph Scaliger and others could never drink milk. Garden was disgusted at the sight of eggs. A king of Poland and a secretary of France bled at the nose when they looked at apples. Henry III of Franco Mid many others had great aversion to cats, mice and spiders. A great huntsman in Hanover, who would valiantly attack a wild boar, always fainted away at the sight of a roasted pig. Day Books, Ledgers, Blank Memoranda, Butcher's Time Books, &c The Tennis Elbow. "(say) It is near dinnertime (Two Gentlemen), I am as constant iis the northern star (Midsummer Night) and will be there [Two Gentlemen}. Iceman—Yes, I did. Didn't you notice a email damp spot on the sidewalk? Customer— Y es. Mistah Ebony—How is youah good health dis mo'nin', Mistah Black? Fine Papeterlrs. Writio* Pap?r and EnTelopes, Tablets, Ink, Pens, Pencils, 4c. Reversing this order I came up on a train, arriving at Jersey City at 4:30. I then walked on board a Fall River boat at 6:30, on whose decks as I arrived a delightful band was playing "See the Conquering Hero Comes." Hastily doffing my dapper little speckled straw hat I placed in charge of the steward, Mr. David Washington, a large watermelon, which I had hurriedly bought and concealed in a shawl strap, and going forward was soon seen chatting gayly with a bunco man, who said that he had often been delighted by my rare genius and such things as that. He was a man, too, whom I do not remember ever to have saw before nor since. Mistah Black—I's all hunkydoiy 'cept my right a'm, Mistah Ebony. I's siifferin' from de tennis elbow. "Wot you been doin'?" "Beatin' ca'pet."—New York Weekly. "I'll drink the words you send and thank you for your pains (Cymbeline). BUBBEB STAMPS. Iceman—Well, that was your ice. It melted before 1 could get it into the house.—Munsey's Weekly. Publication*. Oxtord Blblee, Wall BoUh7Sc. 5o Testaments. Gospel.Hjmns "When all is done (Macbeth) (each guest shall say) night hath been too brief (Troilus and Cressida). I am yours forever (Winter's Tale). Adieu till we meet (Cymbeline) Amatus Lusitanus knew a person who fainted whenever he saw a rose, and hence always kept his house when they were in bloom. Scaliger mentionsasimilarcase in regard to lilies, and Bayle about honey. Bayle himself turned pale at sight of watercresses. Jas. Searle's Old Stand. She can fix her hair in fashion, and her man- Wliat She Can Do. COB MAIN AND WATER STBEET8 ner's rather dashing, and her dainty lit- Sto] iped Calling. "Anna Dihhl, "President of the Fortnightly Shakespeare. Co. tle shoes are just ia style; Sl)6 can jabber French and German, and eD "Yet here's a postscript (Twelfth Night). Open thy purse that the money (for the iinner) may be at once delivered (Two Gentlemen). Defer no time; delays h' "?e dangerous ends (Henry VI). A R. D." HEA QUARTERS Wfaming ViHcj Lumber TOUT KIU. PDSTE pound upon a sermon, and sets & person crazy with her smile. In the tastes that are resthetic, and in mixing Tycho Brahe fainted at thesightof a fox, and Marshal d'Albert at the sight of a pig. A lady, wonderful enough, could not endure the feel of silk or satin. A man, not so strangely, was known to faint whenevej be heard a servant sweeping. Vicanor swooned whenever he heard a bagpipa Bayle fainted at the sound of splashini water.- Youth's Companion. face cosmetic, they say she has no equal anywhere. And in chewing tutti frutti she enhances much her beauty, and the settings in her teeth *ro very rare. —Philadelphia Enquirer. LAJEIQE : STOCK Large Slse The only mortar that can be safely used In winter weather; frost will not effect It after ten hours. It is shipped in bags, and is simply mixed with water and put on with a trowel in the usual way. Carpenters can follow masons In from two to three days. Bursting pipes or leaky roofs wilHiot injure it, and it is the best fire-resistlng plaster in the world. Cracked walls broken ceilings and defaced decorations are unknown where Adamant Is used. As Strange as a Romance. These are days of great and surprising financial boosts. t of well seasoned LUMBER, rough and dressed W c BILL : TIMBERS. "You are the smartest boy in New York!" she said as she reached for her purse, and the next instant he was galloping down the walk and shouting: She can thump a grand piano, and can sing in great crescendo, and her style of elocution's very trim; Wia has college education, is the pride of her relation, but sho still persists In saying "It ia liim." Piling, Mine Props, Ties, Cord Wood, How many new acquaintances one may pick up about New York if he shows a pleased and joyous nature. New York is about eight sizes too large for me I sometimes think. Cohasset is more my size. Large towns make me shy and snort like a grass fed elderly farm horse at the Fall of Babylon fireworks. Inferior people notice me with scorn in New York and comment on my sylvan methods, but up here associating with Mr. Cleveland and Herr Joseph Jefferson and Mr. Booth and Mr. Gilder and Mr. Robson, all of whom are sturdy woodsmen, raising their own vegetables at enormous expense, I feel less skittish.Twelve years ago a young man lived in a Maine town. His parents were poor, so poor that they required help from the town. The young man himself was crippled by rheumatism, was discouraged, and instead of hustling for the wherewithal spent his time in idleness and Ashing. For several years he, too, was supported by contributions from relatives and the town fathers. The current belief was, "He will never amount to anything." r o "Oh, Jim, look-a-hcre! Made a mash and struck half a dollar all in a ininitt" —New York Evening World. SanroLM, Lath, Blinds, -Oil Citr Blizzard. Few babies can boast of possessing snch a stock of shoes as the infant daughter of Prince Paul of Russia and grandniece of tho Princcea of Wales. This little lady has had no less than sixty-four pairs constructed for her wee feet by an English maker, and I am sure all mothers will feel envious when they hear that these are of every shade to match her imperial highness' various sashes. Russian leather, morocco, suede and silk have all been employed in completing the order, and tome of the little slippers are embroidered, some quite plain, and some finished with a rosette. All are made to strap round the ankle, and they are in various sizes. As the wee person for whom they are intended cannot yet walk she will have yet to grow to some of her smart chauasures and their corresponding sash.—Lon- London Letter. A Baby That Has l-1enty of Shoe*. I BOUNDED AWAY. Would Live to Do It. Doom, : Wis Dews, Fence Posts, Adamart is made after scientific formulas by machinery, and to not a guess-work mixture put together by a laborer and a hoe. say Robson is raking up gome of his justly celebrated lignum vitie seek-nofurther apples. Seeing Mr. Smarty and his party drive up to survey the grounds and enumerate the servants he turns his back on the audience, hoping to be taken for his gardener. He is successful. Great men are often mistaken for their employes. I was taken for my wife's coachman last summer, and I may add that it was the proudest moment of my life. Stumped Either Way. Doctor—Your wife is a very sick woman, sir, and likely to die. IUunTn±Era, Pickets, ttc, etc. Pooruian—It costs so much to live now that I am utterly discouraged. all kinds of Estimates Husband—You needn't worry about her, doc. She got a new dress the-other day, and she hasn't tried it on yei.— Cloak Review. "What has become of your old bean, Martin, cook? I haven't seen him around much lately." wood-work. Cheerfully Given. It to endorsed by architects, engineers and scientific men everywhere, and 800,OCO building* plastered in this country within four years, it the testimonial we offer the public. Doorman—Then why don't you jump into the river and make an end of it? Poorman—I can't afford a bathing suit. —Munsey'a Weekly. Best Facilities Well, did he? lie cut loose from his home and associates, borrowed enough money to carry him to Massachusetts, and struck in for fame and fortune with all the vim and grit for which thoroughly awakened Maine boys are famous. "No, mum, Martin don't come round much now; he's married." "Oh, ho! He's married, eh? Whom tor work. Connected with and prices mailed on appllca Ragged Ralph—I guess I'm going to be sick, pard; I feel all out of sorts. Tattered Tom—Wot's ihe matter with you? Unmistakable Symptoms. Stained glass, Nails, Telephone. She—Thay say Mrs. Veriplane can hypnotize; do you suppose it's true? He—Shouldn't wonder; she got Veriplane.—Life.A Scientific Result. Wyoming valley Lunn. "Me. muxr-"—New York Sun. That was twelve years ago. Today he can draw his check for $500,000, and unless Indications are amiss will be a millionaire within five years. He is one of the leading shoe manufacturers in Brockton, Mass., and every dollar of his fortune was won by his own endeavors. He has made a present of a handsome new school house to his native town. He still owns and pays taxes on the old home place, and there ist't a man in town but who Is proud to point out the house to strangers and tell the story of the man who' has made a big bright mark iu the bustling world.—Lewiston Journal. Builders Hardware OmOl A1»D YARDS D., L. * W. depot West Plttaton, Work for the Investigators. D r in Mr. Jefferson said: "Come up. Here you are safe. There is not a bunco man on Buzzard's Bay." So we took passage on the Why? a new steam yacht which Mr. Robson is having repaired most of the time, he says, for the rare exhilaration afforded by knowing that he has a nice yacht at the paint shop or the plumber's "just getting the finishing touches put on it." The visitor now begins to shed and exude information over those in the carriage. "This," he says, "is where Crane lives. Robberson lives over in the red house. They used to play the 'Merry Wives of Windsor,' and you couldn't tell which was which." While doing this he gently runs Robberson down, and then he goes over to Crane's house and runs him down, at the same time giving pleasant items of recollection ana reminiscence regarding the drama. Ragged Ralph—I feel like workin'.— Yankee Blade. The New York State Eclectic Medical society at its recent state convention, held in Albany, on resolution appointed a committee, consisting of Professor E. V. Wright, Dr. Robert Hamilton and Dr. T. Cleland, to prepare a report on the physiological effects of alcohol on the human system. Why should not the medical associations all over the country do the same sort of thing? Let us hav6 the last word of science on this question and have it in an authoritative form. The liquor interests object to an investigation by congress; will they join us in requesting investigation by the doctors? —Voice. Rosin and Tarred Paper, EYERY TWO AND A HALF MHUTES. and opposite Sinclair House, Cause Enough for Wee] Ding. A Surprise All Around. etc , etc., etc. Plttston. The blood makes a circuit of the body every 2}t minutes, delivering nutriment and taking back waste matter to be filtered out by the liver sad kidneys and removed from the body through the bowels and tbe urinary secretion. Any stoppage or obstruction of this process mav produce various forms of disease, such as Dyspepsia, BHIousnes , Constipation. Headache, Debility! and bad blood with its multiplied i-vils (bolls ?so"*' eruptions, abscessed and the like). When such obstructions exist as evidenced by the presence of complaints similar »o tbog* Just m« ntionrd, the best to use is Burdock Blood Bitters, -hloh unlocks the secretions, removing all impure and effete matter through the proper channel*. By restoring healthy action of the stomach, liver, kidneys and bowels, B. B B. removes all impurities of the blood from a common pimple to the worst scrofulous sore. Mrs. Barrowly—Why, Ethel, you here? I never expected to see you. I'm surprised.PITT ffr A Pack of Cards Made of Honrs. N. PA. Ethel—I knew you'd be surprised. The butler told me you were out.—Continent.The governor of a penitentiary iu the far nest has a pack of cards which was made by one of the convicts out of the beef bones collected from the convicts' soup and split to a delicate thinness. The pips are scratched with a pin, and are quite artistically executed. When the time of the convict card manufacturer was up he presented the cards to the governor.—London Tit- Bits. TRADE Great Eng TRADE MARK Jltoh Remedy. An unfailing curefor n-ss and all Diseases that * 1 folio* as a se- «r quenceofOverwork of uran tZ'tma num. situde. Pain tu tti- B -ck, Dimness of Vision. Premature Old Age and many other diseases that lead to insanity or Consumption and a Premature Grave. HT-Full particulars la our pamphlet, which we leaireto a«rt freeby mail to every one. The Specific Medicine to sold by all druggists at $1 per package, or six packages for $*, or will be •ent free by mail on Um leoeipt of the money, by addressing THE GRAY MEDICINE CO., Buffalo, N. Y. He claims that a yacht most always needs something done to it tomorrow, and then it takes a day or two for the paint to dry, and then you suddenly look at your watch and find that the summer is gone and work begun. Is it not so generally in this life? Oh, how often I sometimes think that terrapin and Johannisberger go with insomnia, while health and hunger often go with low spirited bread and prune sauce. Gratifying, The opinion now held by physician* that "raw cow's milk is better for children than boiled," is very gratifying, since a raw cow gives much more milk than a boiled 'op.—Cloverdale Reveille. Discouraging. He is generally one of a group of people who were present when the Elder Booth drove Richmond off the stage. Mr. Booth says that if all the people were present at that time who have admitted to him that they were there, his father must have had a good deal bigger business than he used to let on to his family that he had. "How clul tliey hang your picture of your fox terrier?" "Most inappropriately. They made a Iky of it."—New York Herald. Stranga. The Fatal Number. A young soldier had gone to the theatre with a friend. The play draggod und he fell asleep. An hour later he was awakened by the voice of an actor Overstayed His Furlough. Mr. D. Lloyd George, M. P. for Carnarvon, in contrasting temperance sentiment in the country forty or fifty years ago with tho present day, noted the fact that Charles Dickens has not a single teetotaler among his male characters, whereas it would be impossible for a Charles Dickens of our days to ignore them. There were 160 teetotalers in the house of commons. The Growth of Teetotallsm. "Have yoa read General Bronson's autobiography?""Yes. Frightful exhibition of conceit!" "How BO?" "Why, it's all about hiuself."—Harper's Bazar. "Take these berries away," said a boarder at a cheap boarding house as he handed his small allowance to the waiter. THE yards as hoai "em5 for circulars. C. N. NEWCOMB, Davenrort, la. "What are yon crying about, my little "What is the matter with the berries?" said the landlady. Mrs. Cleveland called at the Jefferson home while I was there. She seemed to think that I was a good deal younger man than she had expected to see. This will help Mr. Cleveland very much in the coming campaign. People who find "Jimmy O'Brien licked me first, an then father licked me for letting Jimmy lick me, an then Jimmy licked me again for telling father, an now I suppose I 6hall catch it again from father." —Life. man?" Oh, take me back, I often cry at night, as the soft winds moan through the costly laces of my casement; take me back and lay me once more across my mother's knee as of yore, only taking care to have me olaced the other side ud. saying: "Nothing, madam; it is the number Iobject to. Thcreare just thirteen, and I don't want to dio before the year is out." "We have been here five days." Our infantryman got up in a fright and said to his friend: Husband—In all things, dear, follow my advice; let me be your mentor. Wife—You always have been my—tor- tormentor.—Pittsburg Bulletin. What He Was. On account of counterfeitswe have adopted the Yellow Wrapper; the only genuine, for sale at J. fiu Hoock's , drag store. The landlady added another berry.— Detroit Free Press, "Ah, morbleu! and I had only leave to stop out till midnight!"—Le Oaulnis.