Pittston Gazette

              Oldest Newsoaoer in the Wvommg Valley PITTSTON, LUZERNE CO., PA., FRIDAY, AUGUST 8, 1890. \ Wteidy Local and Family lournal. I "'T-T* * Tfe mom fortnight. Ho calculated that by that time the Indians would bo either safe across the Mexican border or whipped back to the reservation; then he could go out and join with a flourish of trumpets and no possible danger. But a new king reigned in the war department, who knew Joseph rather than knew him not. Noel opened the dispatch that had been handed him, and road it with an expression that plainly indicated perturbation, if not dismay. Ho had not been in saddle for an entire year. tii rear in the elms a which i.o Afat-.hidreaC s, well knowing how eiai'y )••D can disruueo hia harnmerid | urmern, And now, just as the dawn is breaking and a faint pallid light is stealing through tho tree tops along the rocky range, there come creeping slowly, noiselessly along the slope a score of shadowy forms, crouching from bowlder to bowlder, from tree to tree. Not a word is spoken, save now and then a whispered caution. Foremost, carbine in hand, is the captain, now halting a moment to give some signal to those nearest him, now peering ahead over the rocks that bar the way. At last he reaches a point where, looking down the dark and rugged hillside before him, he sees something which causes him to unsling the case in wlrich his field glasses are carried, to gaze thither long and fixedly. With all eyes upon their leader, the men wait and listen; some cautiously try the hammers of their carbines and loosen a few cartridges in the loops of their prairie belts. A signal from Lane brings Mr. Royce, the young second lieutenant, to his side. It is the boy's first experience of the kind, and his heart is thumping, but he means to be one of the foremost in the charge when the time comes. Watching closely, the nearest men can see that the captain is pointing out some object nearer at hand than they supposed, and the first sergeant, crouching to a neighboring rock, looks cautiously over, and then eagerly motions to others to join him. genco that ho has brought with him all tho prisoners ho could find in camp. "Thero are three women, sir, and two little children—two girls; they're so frightened that I can hardly find out much from them, but they say there was no moro left." * Possibly, on second ttiougftt, it woum bo bettor not to call npon them at all. They might shock you by openly indulging themselves in habits of industry. COURTESY SELF TAUGHT. CANVASSING THE FREAKS. the renegades, joined by a gang of tho utterly "urm Chiricahaus, aro taking thing* easily and making raids on the helplosj ranches that lie to the right oa- left of their lino of march. Fortunately for tho records these are few in number; had there been dozens more they, would only have served to swell tho list of butchered men, of plundered ranches, of burning stacks and corrals, of women and children borne off to be the sport of their leisure hours when once secure in the fastnesses of the Sierra Madres far south of tho line Death could not come too soon to the relief of these poor creatures, and Lane and all his men had been spurred to the utmost effort by the story of the railway hands that they had plainly seen several women and children bound to tho spare animals the renegades drove along across the iron.tracki BILL NYE GIVES POINTERS ON FUNERAL AND OTHER ETIQUETTE. Do not mako a display of consulting your watch. Especially, if making a first call on ono of tho nobility, do not ostentatiously open tho rear of your watch to show the name of the factory or the glitter of tho works, and do not, while visiting among titled people, and while tho family are at prayers in tho morning, blow a kernel of wheat out of your key and wind your watch with a deafening report. Thero i3 nothing that will tempt a God fearing duko ,to come down from tho front steps of tho throne of graco and brain his visitor with a frozen cucumber quicker than this. Let us at all times try to be respectful to others, especially if there's money in it. If you are a hostess, and engaged in entertaining tho nobility of One Hundred and Fifty-eighth street, do not jump up hurriedly and run to the barn the moment you hear a hen cackle. It is rude to your visitor and i3 an implied insult to the veracity of the hen. The Census Man on His Mission In s Bowery Dime Museum. One of the census enumerators entered a dime museum on the Bowery. He explained to the proprietor that he was taking the census, and that the dime museum came in his district. The museum owner gave him permission to question the "bring curiosities." He began with the Circassian beauty. "Where were you born?" "I was born in New York," said the Carcassian beauty, "in de 'Ate ward." "Where were jour parents born?' "Me father and mother were born in Germany." "What is jour name?" "Mary Ann Higgin*," said tho beautiful Circassian. "Are you white, blac«, mulatto, quadroon, octoroon, Chinese,, Japanese or Indian?'By Oapt. (JHABLES EHQ. "Why, I must go out to the post!" he said to the operator. "I am not at all ready to take the field. Let them know that I have arrived, and will come out there without delay. Better have the troop unsaddled and wait for my coming."Phil* "Very well, then. Now, men, open out right and left, and fall back very slowly. Sergeant, take six of the men and move up so as to be close to Riley in case they attack from the flank. Are we all here? Are any wounded or hurt?' He asks the question with a little stream of blood trickling down from his left temple, but of which he seems perfectly unaware; either an arrow or a bullet has torn the skin and made quite a furrow through the hair. It I» Not the Proper Thing to Finger In some way the honorable secretary had become acquainted with the previous history of Capt. Noel's campaign services, and, though the influential gentleman referred to made prompt and eloquent appeals, they were met by courteous but positive denial. "Every man who was worth his salt," said the Secretary, "should be with his regiment now." An officer was designated to proceed at once to the Queen City and take over Noel's rendezvous and property, and peremptory orders were sent to him to start without delay and to notify the department by telegraph of the date of his departure—a most unusual and stringent proceeding. This correspondence Noel never mentioned to anybody at the time, and it was known only to the official records for some time afterward. A& scon as he found that go he must, he dl - tated to his clerk a letter in which, gallant soldier that he was, he informed the adjutant general that the news from Arizona had now convinced him that an outbreak of alarming dimensions had taken place, and he begged that he might be relieved as at his own request and permitted to join his comrades in the field. To this no reply was sent, as the order directing him- tb proceed had already been issued. Perhaps a grim smile played about the mustached lips of that functionary when he read this spirited epistle. the Face of the IDeceased, and as Hair Oil Costs Money It's Foolish to Imbri- cate tho Wall Paper Therewith, CHAPTER XHI. ffod. opened that had *** Thb - Chronicle, a most vala "Will tho captain pardon me?" said the operator; "the orders from the department commander that went through this morning were that the troop should not take more than an honr in refitting at the post and should start at once. I thought I could see them coming over the divide just as the whistle blew." [Copyright by Edgar W. Nye ] A recent work on how to conduct one's self in good society has escaped from the press within the past month, and is now temporarily engaged in lying before me. Every little while some self made man gets a new fountain pen, and writes a book on how to corruscate in good form. No one can light up the gloom of social ignorance like the archi- "Murphy, sir," says one of the men, "is shot through the arm, and Lathrop has got a bullet in the leg; but they're only flesh wounds; they're lying here just back of us." The captain gave no sign of enthusiasm as he received this news. He was still pondering over the contents of his dispatch from the commanding general —its tone was so like that of his order from the war department—so utterly unlike what Jiis admiring circle of rela, tivea and friends would have expected. Stepping into the telegraph office he took somo blanks and strove to compose a dispatch that would convince the general that ho was wild with eagerness to ride all night to the support of Lane, and yet that would explain how absolutely necessary it was that he should Lane turns about and finds two of his men looking a little pale, but perfectly plucky and self possessed. "We'll get you along all right, men," he says; "don't worry. Now, lads, turn about every ten or fifteen steps, and see that they don't get close upon you. Look well to the left." Among the passengers iii the pillaged stage coach were the wife and daughter of an Indian agent, who had only recently come to this arid territory and knew little of the ways of its indigenous people. Nothing had since been seen or heard of them. Capt. Rawlins and two soldiers, going up as witnesses before a coifrt martial at Grant, were found hacked almost beyond recognition, and the driver, too, who seemed to have crawled out among the rocks to die. Verily the Apaches had good reason to revel in their success! They had hoodwinked the bureau, dodged the cavalry, plundered right and left until they were rich with spoil, and now, well to the south of the railway, with a choice of either east or west side of the range, their main body and prisoners are halted to rest the animals, while miles to the rear their faithful vedettes keep watch against pursuers, and miles out to the west the most active young warriors are crying havoc at the ranch of Tres Hermanos. It is the red glare of the flame towards the sunset horizon that tells Lano the Apaches cannot be far away. The instant he and his comrades issuD3 from the gorge and peer cautiously to tho right and left not only do they see the blaze across the wide valley, but northward, not more than half a away, there rises upon tho night wind a sound that they cannot mistake—the war chant of the Chiricahuas. "I'm green." "Single, married, widowed or divorced?"If j'ou are a guest at tho house of a neighbor who has borrowed some of your pie plates for tho occasion, do not, in a fit of rage or despondency over j-our failure to converse fluently with the pastor, call attention to the fact that these are your pie plates. It is about the detroppist thing you could well do. "Divorced and married again." D "What is your trade or occupation?" 'Tm a Circassian beauty by trade." "Are you able to speak English?" "Dat's de only language I See?" .The enumerator walked ov »r to the haughty "Zulu prince." "Where were you born?" he asked. "In ole Virgiuny, sah," said the Zulu prince, smiling. "Where were your parents born?" "Dey was bawn in Norf Carliny." "Where do you live?" "In Thompson street, sah." "Are you white, black, mulatto, quadroon, Chinese, Japanese or Indian?" "I dunno. I specs I'm Zulu." "What is your name?" "Pompey Linkum Fields." "What is your profession or occupation?"Then slowly they fall back towards tlie pass. Every now and then a shot comes whizzing by, as the Apaches regain courage and creep up to their abandoned camp. - But not until they are well back over tho ridge, and Riley and his little party, fairly carrying their reacued captives, are nearly out of harm's way, do tho scattered warriors begin to realize how few in number their assailants must be. Rallying shouts can be heard among tho rocks, and then there come tho thunder of hoofs out on the plain below and tho answering yells of the returning raiders. * The Apache hiding place is not three hundred yards away. first go out to the post But the fates wero against him. Even as he was gnawing the pencil and cudgeling his brains the operator called out: Down the mountain side to the west and up tho range to the north their sentries keep vigilant guard against surprise; but whr.t man of their number dreams for an instant that on the south, between them and the Mexican line, thero is now closing in to the attack a little troop of veteran campaigners, led by a man whom they have learned to dread before now? Invisible from the valley below or tho heights up the range, their smoldering fires can be plainly seen from where Lane and his men aro now concealed. But nothing else can be distinguished. This season's epitaphs will be briefer than usual, and ran more into plain or Gothic extended letter. The hand with forefinger extended upward will not be nsed so much this summer, as in several instances this style of stone has heretofore been upended, or turned end for end rather, by mischievous people, thus conveying a different impression on the public mind from the one intended as to the general direction taken by deceased. It is still de rigger to say "Hero come some of 'em now, sir." iforaing _ — ble sheet in it* way, in its Sunday edi Hon contained the following interesting item: And, looking nervously from the window, Noel saw three horsemen galloping in to the station. Foremost came a lieutenant of infantry, who sprang to the ground and tossed the reins to his orderly the instant he neared the platform. One of the men had a led horse, completely equipped for the field, with blankets, saddle bags, carbine, canteen and haversack; and Noel's quick intuition left him no room to believe that the steed was intended for any one but him. Noel left the Queen City a hero in the eyes of the populace. He was just six days behind Lane, of whose movements the Queen City had no information whatever. "No event in social circle# has eclipsed Cof late the banquet given at the dub last Bight in honor of Capt. Gordon Noel, of the Eleventh cavalry, on the eve of his departure to take command of his troop, sow hastening to the scene of Indian hostilities in Arizona. As is well known to our citizens, the news of the murderous outbreak at the reservation was no GOOD READING MATTER IS THE LINING OF ONE'S HAT. tect who has carved out his own fortune, and spattered the gloom and gravy thereof all along down the corridors of time. Give me the self poised and self appointed stndenticket who has won his way unaided from the counting room of the livery stable to the proud and dizzy height of "caller off" at a catch-as-catchcan and Graeco-Roman hop for incontrovertible and seek-no-further advice on how to behave. He is the man who generally thinks that a good writer is a man who has won his fame in that direction by his good penmanship. He seems to think that good writing implies a feverish and delirious display of ornamental swans and bad spelling, and that powerful writing is produced by bearing on a little harder than is one's wont. "Kim to Corp. Kiiey and tell him to mako all the haste he can," Lane orders his trumpeter. "Tell him to go back to the horses, and then, as soon as he has left his women in a safe place there, to throw up stone shelters wherever it is possible. Royce, you look out for this front. I will go to the left. If any of your men are hit, have them picked up and moved rapidly to the rear; of course, we can't leave any wounded to fall into their hands; but, where possible, keep your men under cover; and keep undei yourself, sir; don't let me see you exposing yourself unnecessarily, as I did a while ago." And now came an odd piece of luck— a slip in the fortunes of war. Tho cavalry stationed in Arizona were so far from the reservation at the time that they had long and difficult marches to make. Only two or three troops that happened to be along the line of the railway reached the mountains neighboring San Carlos in time to quickly take the trail of the hoe tiles. Except the ope little troop of cavalry on duty iat the reservation none of the horsemen in Arizona had as yet come in actual conflict with the renegades, and (vVlly enough it was the Eleventh first met and struck them. Old Uiggs himself had not taken the field, bnt tho battalion from headquarters been whirled westward along the cciiway and Sacred to the Memory of Mister TELEQ GCIXWABTZ, : 'Tm a Zulu prince!" "Are you able to speak English?" "I can understand English." Far over to the western side of tho valley tho faint red glow tells where lie the ruins of the ranch their young warriors had destroyed, and any moment now their exultant yells may be heard as they como scampering back to camp after a night of deviltry, and then everybody will bo tip and moving off and well on the way southward before the sun gets over the crest. Lane knows he must make his dash before they can return. There would be little hope of rescue for tho poor softls lying there bound and helpless, with all those fierce young fighters close at hand. and not The "Australian giant" said he was born in New Jersey. His parents were born in Vermont. "Are you single, married or divorced?' "Well, I've been married four or five times In the museum to draw a crowd, but I believe the marriages were not regular." * The infantryman came bounding in: "Is this Capt. Noel? I am Mr. Renshaw, post adjutant, sir, and I had hoped to get here in time to meet you on your arrival, but wo wero all busy getting the troop ready. You've got your orders, sir, haven't you? My God! captain, can't you wire to the fort and beg the major to let me go with you? I'll be your slave for a lifetime. I've never had a chance to do a bit of real campaigning yet, and no man could ask a bullier chance than this. Excuse me, sir, I know you want to get right into scouting rig—Mr. Mason said his 'extras' would fit you exactly; but if you could take mo along—you're bound to get there just in time for tho thick of it/' And the gallant little fellow looked, all eagerness, into Noel's unresponsive face. What wouldn't the hero of tho Queen City club have given to turn the whole thing over to this ambitious young soldier and let him take his chanccs of "glory or the gravo!" Sacred to the Memory of : sooner received than this gallant officer PELEQ SCHWARTZ, Esquire. : applied instantly to be relieved from his present duties in our midst and ordered to join his comrades in the field, that he might share with them the perils of this savage warfare. "Covers were laid for forty. The table was decorated with flowers and glistened with plate and crystal. The most conspicuous device was the crossed sabers ot the cavalry, with the number 11 and the letter K, that being the designation of the captain's eompany. His honor Mayor Jenness presided, and the Hon. Amos Withers faced him at the other end of the banquet board. The speech of the evening was made by Mayor Jenness in toasting 'our gallant guest,' which was drunk standing and with all honors. We have room only for a brief summary ot his remarks. Alluding to the previous distinguished services of the captain, he said that 'In every territory of our broad west his saber has flashed in the defense of the weak against the strong, the poor settler against the powerful and numerous savage tribes too often backed by official influence at Washington. And now, while cheeks were blanching and hearts were still stricken by the dread At least this is the custom west of Avenue A, rnd especially on Seventh avenue. If in making your first call you do so on a bicycle do not bring the instrument into the hall with you or hold it in your lap whilst calling. You might drop it and break it. "Thank God," crics Lane, here ahead of them!" The doable headed girl census enumerator greatly. He  know whether to pnt her down as one person or two persons. She gave two sets of answers to most of the questions One head said she was 24, but the other head denied it and said she was only 18. "Where were yon born?" "In the Congo republic," said the first head. "wo are Half an hour's reconnoissance reveals to him their position. Far up among the bowlders of the range, where pursuing horsemen cannot ruah upon them in the night, they have made their bivouac, and are having a revel and feast while awaiting tho return of tho raiders or news from tho rear that they must be moving. The range is rugged and precipitous north of the gorge; cavalry cannot penetrate it; but Lane's plan is quickly laid. Ho will let his men sleep until 2 o'clock, keeping only throe sentries on the lookout, one of them mounted and west of the gorge to give warning should tho Indians move during tho night. Then, leaving the horses concealed among the rocks south of tho stream, with two men to guard them, he will lead his company up the heights and as close as possible to the Apache camp, lie in hiding until it is light enough to distinguish objects, then dash down into their midst, rescue the prisoners in tho panic and confusion that he knows will result from tho sudden attack, send them back as rapidly £s possible, guided by throe or four men, to where his horses aro corralcd, while he and his little band interpose between them and any rally the Apaches may make. And once again the retreat is resumed. Lane looks anxiously among the rocks down the hill to his left, every instant expecting to seo the young braves hurrying to the assault. But now, as though in obedience to the signals of some loader, tho Apaches cease their pursuit. Lane well knows that the matter is not yet concluded, but is thankful for the respite. Still warily his little force continues tho withdrawal, and, without further molestation, reaches the gorge of tho San Simon, and soon comes in sight of the dip among the rocks where tho horses aro still hidden. Here, too, Corp. Riley and his men are busily at work heaping up little breastworks of rock, and L:uie Clirect3 that whilo the wounded—there are three now—aro carried down to whore the rescued women and childron aro lying, the other men fall to and help. In five minutes there iCro over a score of them at work, and not one instant too soon. Corp. Donnelly, who has been posted, mounted, at the western entrance to tho defile, comes clattering in to say that at least a hundred Indians are swarming down the ridge. Do not caress your watch chain or charms whilst making a party call. You will be apt to wear the gold off and expose your poverty, which is vulgar. True politeness consists in deftly concealing your poverty and natural born vulgarity so far as possible. THo word is passed among tne men: "Follow closely, but look well to your footing. Dislodge no stones." Then, slowly and stealthily as before, on they go—this timo down the hill towards the faint lights of tho Indian bivouac. A hundred yards more and Lane holds up his hand, a signal to halt; and here he gives Mr. Royce a few instructions in a low tone. The youngster nods his head and mutters to several of tho men as he passes: "Follow me." They disappear among tho rocks and trees to the right, and it is evident that they mean to work around to tho east of the bivouac, so as to partially incircle them. Little by little the wan light grows brighter, and close at hand objects far more distinct. An Indian is just passing in front of tho nearest blaze and is lost in tho gloom among tho stunted trees. One or two forms are moving about, but they can only dimly be distinguished. Lane argues, however, that they aro getting ready to move and no timo is to bo lost. In short, he is, as a general thing and by general concession, the ass de luxe of the century he disfigures, the artificial, veneered gentleman who, living, lectures his betters, and dying—ho and his whiskers together—goes to his reward just as the odor of scorching woolen and hot hair dye is wafted to us across tho bourne of that country where round trip tickets are unknown and perpetual stop-over privileges are accorded. In life he distracts attention from his own glaring shortages by lecturing others, and in death ho wears a very toothsome, artificial smile and a costume which does not extend below the plate glass peep hole of his narrow house. In his home paper on the next week appears the following: actually reached tne pass through tho Chiricahua range before tho Indians. Expecting just such a possibility, these wary campaigners had their scouts far in advance of the main body and prompt warning was given, so that only tho rear guard of the Indians was reached by the eager cavalrymen; the bulk of the Apaches turned eastward and swept down like ravening wolves upon the defenseless settlers in the San Simon valley, burning, murdering, pillaging as they went, full fifty miles a day, while their pursuers trailed helplessly behind. "In Ireland," said the second head. The Texas cowboy said that he was VDrn in Boston, and had always lived Do not pick up the wino at table and carefully scrutinize the label as if you were a connessurr, when you are really a common curr. You may fool the company during two or threo courses with the idea that you are used to wine at home, but before the pie is reached you will manage, no doubt, to advertise the fact that you are accustomed to thick milk from a gourd, and not much of that. there.—New York Morning Journal. The Perfected Naphtha Ijtmicb. "Very thoughtful of you all, I'm sure, to think of sending horse and kit here for mo, but I realTy ought to go out to the post. Thero are things I must attend to. You soe, I left the instant I could induce them to relieve me, and there was no timo to make preparations." When they had succeeded in crossing the railway most of their number were mounted on fresh horses, and the section hands, who saw them from afar off, telegraphed from the nearest station that they had with them six or eight women and children whose husbands and fathers doubtless lay weltering in their blood along the route. Full seven days now had they been dodging through the mountains and swooping down upon the ranchmen, and so skillfully had they eluded their pursuers and defeated their combinations that now they had a commanding Jead and actually nothing between them and the Mexican frontier— nothing in Arizona, that is to say. But look just across the border. There, spur- Do not waste yonr hair oil on the wall paper. Hair oil costs money, and we cannot lubricate the futnre with the hair oil that is past. news of the butcheries and rapine which marked the Indians' flight, when others ■hrantr from tmch perilous work, where was the man who could suppress the fervent admiration with which he heard that there was one soldier who lost no "Bat—you can't have heard, captain; your troop will be here in ten minutes. Capt. Lane by this time is past Pyramid mountain, and will strike them early in tho morning. There won't bo any time to go out to the post: you've got to ride at trot or gallop most of the night as it is " I desire to thank the friends and neighbors most heartily in this manner for their united aid and co-operation during the illness and death of my recent husband, who escaped from mo by the hand of death on Friday last whilo we were eating breakfast To the friends, both one and all, who thus contributed so willingly toward making the last moments and funeral of my husband a howling success, I desiro to bo remembered most kindly, hoping that these few lines may find them enjoying the samo blessing. I bow to the cruel stroke. I also have a good milch cow and roan gelding horso rising of eight years old which I will sell cheup on the premises. God moves in a mysterious way his wonders to preform. He plants his footsteps in tho sea and rides upon tho storm. Also a black and white shote very low. Yours truly, _ Shore Dweller—Look ont thar, cap'n! You're runnin' plumb onter Shoot Fly rock! time in demanding relief from duty here, that he might speed to the head of the gallant fetows already in the field, who had followed him in many a stirring charge and through all the current of many a beady fightwhose hearts would leap for joy at sight vt their beloved leader's face—the man who never yet had failed them, the man who never yet had "Spread out now," is the order, "well to tho right and left, and move forward. Bo very careful." And once more they resume their catlike advance. Nearer and nearer they creep upon tl.e unsuspecting foe, and soon many a form of sleeping Apache can be inado out, lying around in the grassy basin in which they are hiding for the night. Lane motions to Corp. Riley to come close to his side. "I can see nothing that looks like prisoners; they must be among the trees there,"where that farthest firo is burning. Keep close to me with your men. Pass the word to tho right, there. All ready." And now the light that opens is one in which the ixlds are greatly against "Capt. Noel, pardon me, sir," interposed tho operator. "The general is in the office at Wilcox station. He wants to know if you have started from here." Knowing well that they are armed with magazine rifles and supplied by a paternal bureau with abundant ammunition, knowing that they outnumber him three to one, knowing that by sunrise the whole tribe will havo reassembled and must infallibly detect the pitiful weakness of his own force, it is a desperate chance to take; but it is the only one—absolutely the only one—to save those tortured, agonized women, those terror stricken little ones, from a fate more awful than words can portray. to climb to the height on tho cast «oid take ono long look with his glasses the defenders. Lane has just time over the flats beyond the pass, praying for a sight of a dust cloud towards the Pyramid Spur, when with simultaneous crash of musketry and chorus of yells tho Apaches come sweeping down to the attack. "Tell him tho troop isn't hero yet. I— I'm waiting for it." "Yonder comes the troop, sir," called oat Mr. Renshaw, who had ran to the door. "Now let mo help yon off with yoar 'cits.' Bring that canvas bag in here, orderly." faltered in bis duty, the man whoM ■word was never drawn without reason, never sheathed without honor—our soldier guest, Capt. Gordon Noel?" "Much affected, it was some minutes before the captain conld respond. 11k modesty of the true soldier restrained his eloquence. 'He knew not how to thank them for this most flattering testimony of their confidence and regard; he fair from deserved the lavish praise of their honored chairman. If in the past he bad succeeded in winning their esteem all the mote would he try to merit it now. No soldier could remain in security when such desperate deeds called his comrades to the fray; and as he had ever shared their dangers in the old days so must he share them now. His heart, bis home, his bride, to part from whom -was bitter trial, he left with them to guard and cherish. Duty called him to the front, and with to-morrow's sun bo would be on his way. But, if it pleased God to bear him safely through, he would return to them, to greet and grasp each friendly hand again, and meantime to prove himself worthy the high honor they bad done him.' "There was hardly a dry eye at the table when the gallant soldier finished bis few remarks and then took his seat "Besides winning the heart and hand of one of the loveliest of the Queen City's daughters, the captain has made hosts of friends in our midst, and we predict that when the records of the campaign are written no name will shine with brighter luster than that of Gordon Nod." This doubtless was delightful reading to Noel and to Noel's relatives. Doubtleas, too, it was some comfort to poor Mabel as she lay pale, anxious, sore at heart, on the following day, while her husband and lover—as he undoubtedly was—sped westward with the fast express. But there was a great deal abons the Chronicle's account that would have elicited something more than abroad grin from officers who knew Noel welL An entire week had elapsed from the time that the first tidings were received to the moment when he finally and most reluctantly left the Queen CSty. The first intimation was enough to start Capt. Lane, despite the fact that his health was far from restored and that he was yet by no means strong. He felt confident that the would be joined by some of the Chiricahuas, and that the campaign would be fleroe and stubborn. Telegraphing to the regimental adjutant and the general commanding the department that he intended to start at once, and asking to be notified en route where he could most speedily join the troop, he was on his way within six hours. That very night, although no mention waa made of this in The Chronicle aocount, Capt. Noel received a dispatch from the adjutant general's office at Washington briefly to this effect: "You become captain of Koompany, vice Rawlins, murdered by Apaches. Hold yourself in readiness to turn over the rendezvous and join your regiment without delay." No news could have been more unwelcome. Despite his many faults there was no question that Gordon Noel was very much in love with his wife; but ha never had been in love with the active part of his profession. That Sigh* he tclerjraphod to relatives who had stooJ by hi i i:i the pivst, and wrote urgent ahtl letters informing theu hi.) wLie's health was in so delicate a uiat if he were compelled at this moment to leave bar and go upon garOoua duty hi the Apache country When waa no telling what might be the (fleet upon her. If a possible thing, he anted that thereabout to a delay of a ring steadily until halted for the night in San Simon Pass, comes a little troop of cavalry, not more than thirty-five in number. All day long since earliest dawn had they ridden across the horning sands of a desert region; lips, nostrils, eyelids smarting with alkali dust, throats parched with thirst, temples throbbing with the intense heat; several men and horses used up and loft behind were now slowly plodding back toward the railway. Look at the letter one of those leaders wears upon his worn old scouting hat—D. Yes, it is the "Devil's own D's," and Lane is at their head. Much space is given in this book to the question whether or not it is good form to leave the teaspoon in the cup whilst encompassing its contents or when passing it back to get it replenished. It is the belief among the old school Presbyterians and Whigs, I think, that the spoon should remain in an upright position in the cup, whilst the modern or McKee dynasty holds that the spoon should be laid in the saucer or concealed about the person whilst sipping the coffee. To this the Calvinistic gentlemen who still adhere to the fly front pants and infant damnation reply that according to good usage the laying down of the spoon implies dissatisfaction with the hand and a call for a new deal. However this may be, the manual above referred to does not straighten the matter up at tdl, but says that the author himself adheres to the custom of leaving the spoon in the cup. This, I think, will have a great deal to do with breaking up the practice. wit IlAKNAU ROSEOLA PEETT. The Skipper—That's all right, old man. Don't worry.—Pack. Three minutes brought a message from "the chief;" "Lose not a moment on the way. Report here by we the arrival of your troop and the moment you start. Behind time now." (to be cohtisued.) Not an Omelette. Tangle—Mrs. Rhinestone brought back from Europe a very curious amulet, which is said to be 2,000 years old. By 8 or 0 in tho morning, he argues, K troop must certainly reach him; lie knows them to be fresh and strong; he knows that they have had only short and easy marches and therefore can easily come ahead all night long and be rounding tho Pyramid spur by daybreak. He knows Mason well and can count on that young officer doing his "level best" to support him. Alas! ho does not know that Mason is compelled by this time to fall back to second place and that the last man on whom he can possibly count "in a pinch" is now in command of the looked for troop. The night wears on without alarm. Well nigh exhausted, Lane has thrown himself at the foot of a tree to catch what sleep he may, and ho feels as though he had not closed his eyes when Corp. Shea bends over him to say it is 2 o'clock. Noiselessly the men are aroused; silently they roll out of theii blankets, and obedient to the low toned "fall in" of the first sergeant, seize their arms and take their place in line. There Lane briefly explains the situation; tells them of tho position of tho Apache bivouac; details Corp. Riley and four men to search for, secure and hie away with the prisoners, and orders all the rest to fight like tho devil to drivo tho Apaches helter skelter into the rocks. While a Jersey City blacksmith was turning off horseshoes tho other day a mau stood in the door and watched him for a whilo, and then slowly advanced, stooped down and carefully picked up an old shoe which had been kicked aside weeks beforo. Ho held it ready to drop on the instant, but after a minute grinned all over liis face and chuckled: Z: Beat IraC And now they are so near the Indians that the voices of ono or two squaws can be heard chatting in low tones; then the feeble wail of an infant is for a moment brought to their straining ears; then far out over the level valley to the west there is a sound that causes Lane's blood to tingle—faint, distant, but unmistakable—a chorus of Apache yells. Tho raiders are coming back; it is time to strike the blow. Now or never seems to be the word as tho men glance at their leader and then into each other's faces. HAIB OIL COSTS MONEY. Mrs. Tangle—How in the world did they keep it so long as that? It can't be much good now, I should think.—The Bostonian. Do not gawp and listen like a bump on a log while some one is playing at the piano. People will think you came from the country. Poor Noel! There was no surgeon to certify that his pallid cheeks were due to impaired heart action, no senatorial cousin to beg for staff duty, no Mrs. Riggs to interpose. He had just time to send a dispatch to Mabel announcing that he took the field at the head of his troop at once, another (collect) to Amos Wilders, Esq., of similar import, and one to the general, saying that at 4:45 they were just on the point of starting, when the troop, fifty strong and in splendid trim, came trotting in, and Mr. Mason grimly saluted his new captain and fell back to the command of the first platoon. If you are a gentleman, and should the small tag at the base of your shirt bosom become detached and protrude between the waistcoat and pantaloons, do not lose heart or become needlessly profane, but either o .cuse yourself and retire behind 1 pJ;i:io, or hold the large family alb am ia your lap, and while ostensibly searching the very soul of some meaty and scared relative's portrait you can rearrange yourself, meantime keeping up a perfect gob of persiflage.Saw His Merit Bight Away. The scene is a Roman studio. "How do you know that old fellow is an American?' At the moment of the outbreak both companies from Graham, K and D, or strong detachments from both, were scouting through the country — one through the northern Peloncillo range, the other far up among the head waters of the Gila. Not a word did they hear of the trouble until it was several days old; then D troop was amazed by the sudden appearance of their captain in their midst—Lane, whom they supposed to bo on sick leave far in the distant cast. It was then for the first time they loaraed how their comrades of K troop had lost their popular old commander, and that the great outbreak had occurred at San Carlos. Stopping only long enough to cram their pouches with ammunition and to draw more rations, the troop hastened away toward the railroad by way of Graham, and at the station, just at dawn, Lane sent a brief dispatch to the commanding general saying that he was pushing with all speed to head the Indians off via San Simon pass. He had then forty-five men and horses, in fair condition. K troop would reach Graham that evening, and he urged that they be sent at once to re-enforce This dispatch "the chief" received with an emphatic slap of his itugn and an expression of delighte "Bless that fellow Lane! he is always in the nick of time. I had not hoped for an instant that either D or K would be available, and now look," he said to his aid-de-camp, "he has started for San Simon pass, and will probably throw himself across their front. Only I wish he had more men." "Shall I wire to Graham to have K rush after him, sir?" "Sho ain't hot." "But that's where I've got dad. He picked up ono yesterday, and wo heard him holler soven miles. Dad says my skull is too thick, but I ain't hollering any to speak of, am If—New York Sun. "Who said it was?" asked the smith. "Because he asked the price of that Madonna. Any other but an American would have asked who painted it."—So- Society."Forward! no shot, no sound, till they see us; then cheer like mad as you charge! Come on, men!" In Court—How old are you, prisoner? "Twenty-four, your honor." "But that was what you said here five years ago." A Different Thing Entirely. Quickly now following his lead, they go leaping down the hillside. Thirty— fifty yards without mishap or discovery. Sixty, and still no sound from the defense; then a sudden stumble, the rattle of a carbino sliding down the rocks, a muttered execration; then a shrill, piercing scream from the midst of the bivouac; then  A Quiet Place. Mrs. Ponsonby—Why don't you take your after dinner nap now, John? Mr. Ponsonbv—I do. "Noel to the Front!" was The Chronicle's head Hue on the following morning far away in the Queen City. Tho term Messrs. is getting too common, I think, as a substitute for gentlemen. It ought to go. It doesn't mean A gentleman making a formal call in the morning should retain his hat in his hand. He may safely leave his overcoat or dog in the hall, but he must retain his hat, as it means that the call is a formal one, and not with a view to matrimony. The name of the maker on the inside of the hat also furnishes good reading matter when one has said all one has to say, and is just recovering from the debilitating effects of a great thought. Families in deep mourning should use black firecrackers on the Fourth of July as far south as Bleecker street. "Oh, but that was in quite another case, your honor."—Fliegende Blaetter. Mrs. Ponsonby—Where, I should like to know? You rush right away after dinner every day. CHAPTER XIV. anything, and ought to endear itself to every ono by placing itself on file in some thrifty oblivion establishment. Do trop is no name for it. Do we Bay in making a speech at a dinner, "Mr. President and Messrs., I little thought, etc." Of course not. Do we expect to see the sign in the ladies' cabin "Messrs. unaccompanied by Mesdames if found in this cabin will be shot?" I hope and trust not. A Kara True Tale. Mr. Ponsonby—Well, I take it in the store. You see, I haven't been advertising this summer, and it is over so much quieter down there.—Burlington Freo Press. Quizzle—Catch anything? FranHeigh—Lots—one fish; ditto sore throat, two soaked feet and a first class supply of rheumatism for all summer.— Detroit Free Press. In they go!—tho "Devil's own D's." The still air rings with their wild hurrahs and the crash of their carbines. The flame jets light up the savage scene and show squaws and screaming children rushing for shelter among tho rocks; Apache warriors springing from the ground, some manfully facing tho rush of the foe, others fleeing like women down the hillside. "Charger In the Proper Place. Funny Man—I did not notice my jokes in your paper. Convinced. Police Captain—Have you attended to that burglary at Mr. Goodman's house? "Let not one word bo said nor a trigger pulled until we are right among them. Wait for my command, unless we are detected and fired on. If wo are, blaze away at once; but never stop your rush; get right in among them. Let Riley and hia men make instant search, bo sure they leave neither woman nor child behind, and start them back here. The rest of us will fall back slowly, keeping between them and the Apaches all the time. Never let them get near those prisoners. That is the main object of our attack. Once back here with the horses, we can pick out places in the rocks from which wo can stand tho Apachon oif until K troop comes. Rest assured Lieut. Mason anil his men will be aloni by 8 or 9; and it cannot bo that the cavalry now pursuing tho Apaches from tho north will be more than a few hours behind. Now, do you understand? for there will be no chance of orders up there. Leave your canteens; leave anything that will hinder or rattle. Thoso of you who have on spurs, take them off. Thoso of you who have Tonto or Apache moccasins, take off your top boots and put thom on; they are all the better for going up these hillsides. Now get your coffee, men; make no noise, light no additional fires, and be ready to movo in twenty minutes." Editor—They were all there. Funny Man—That's queer. I looked the funny column all through. There are many other things regarding social customs, funeral etiquette, etc., which this book suggests, and of which I hope in tho future to treat, provided I am notsnatoacd away during the watermelon season. Detective—Yes; been at work on itall day. "What is your conclusion?" "A robbery has been committed." "Very well. Now go to work on these other cases."—Good News. When calling on any one at" an hotel, send np yonr card and wait for a reply. If the servant returns with the reply that the gentleman is not in, do not lose yonr temper, or throw a rubber cuspidore through the mirror, or say bitter things, but go on about your business, if you have any, and if not, advertise and get some at once. Editor—After reading them I concluded to sandwich them in with the death notices.—Lowell Citizen. Never halting an instant, the soldiers dash through the camp, driving the dusky occupants helter skelter. Lane finds himself confronted ono instant by a savage warrior whoso eyes gleam like tiger's under tho thatch of coarse black hair, and whose teeth gnash in fury as he tries to force a fresh cartridge into his breech loader. No time for Lane to reload. He clubs his carbine, and the hammer comes crashing down on the Indian's skull just as Corp. Riloy drives a bullet through his heart. A Correct Diag-noala. Is little Oho—D'ye s'pose he wants ■the First Kick. O'Jiminy—vVhat is the mather? Ye look all broke up. During a Motherly Call. » O'Kelly—Shure an Oi am. My mule balked ther ither day, an Oi went behoind him to kick him. "Yes?' Senator Jones, of Nevada, who once in a great while goes over to San Francisco to bny his groceries for the year, stops at the Palace hotel while there, ana has a pleasing device for obtaining rest and soothfnl calm, unbroken by the uncalled for calls of people who wish to drop in and, expectorate from his window. He registers, and a room is assigned to him by the handsome clerk at Mrs. Beebody—You look pensive, my dear. Lane finds himself confronted one Instant Her Recently Married Daughter—I've had an awful tiff with Tom. "An' the baste kicked furst."—Chicago Ledger.  by a savage warrior. Not an instant too soon, although he has ridden hard since earliest dawn, has Lane reached the rocky pass. North and south the Peloncillos are shrouded in tho gloom of coming night, and all over tho and plain to the eastward darkness has settled down. In previous scouts he has learned the country well, and ho knows just where to turn for "tanks" of cool water for horses, mules and men—tho cavalry order of precedence when creature comforts are to be doled out. Ho knows just where to conceal his little force in the recesses of the rocks and lot them build tiny fires and mako their coffee and then get such rest as is possible before the coming day; but there is no rest for him. Taking two veteran soldiers with him, and leaving the troop to tho command of his lieutenant, an enthusiastic young soldier only a year out of tho cadet gray, the captain rides westward through tho gloaming. He must determine at onco whethor the Indians are coming toward tho pass by which the San Siim 1 nukes its burst through the range, o;- whether, having made wide detour aro in 1 tho little pout at Bowie among the C iifJeahoa mo i itains, they aro now headiiig southward again and taking the shortest line to tjie border before seeking to regain ofice more their old trail along the Ban Bernardino. How often have their war parties gone to and fro along those rocky banks, unmolested, unpursued! "Look to the captives, man!" shouts Lane. "Don't follow mel Drive theml drive them, Eoycel" are his ringing orders, as ho himself dashes on past the fires and into the feeblo morning light beyond. Mrs. Beebody—Didn't I caution you to avoid the first unkind word? "Yes. Order them to start the instant they can refit, and not to take more than an hour in doing that. They have been having easy work on their scout—probably taking it leisurely all the time; they ought to be in first rate trim. D, on the contrary, has been making long and rapid marches to get down from the Upper Gila. Where was K at last accounts?"Her Daughter—I tried to, but he declares that I broke the rule when I said "yes" to his proposal six months ago.— --Judge. Agreed on One Foint. Mr. Grumpy—M'riar, get me my coat, will yor? Mrs. Grumpy—Not till you say please! You can't boss me around like a servant —I was not made to order! Bang! bang! the carbines are ringing through the rocks and trees; cheer upon cheer goes up from the littlo command, mingled with Indian yells and the screams of the terrified children. tha Palace. This number is placed opposite his name in the book. People come in, take n fresh toothpick, steal a few matches, scratch the calf of one limb with the shin of the other, look along down the page deliberately, so as to keep paying guests from registering, and say: "Hello! Jones is here. I will send my card np to him and see how he is behaving himself." The card is taken up and shoved under tho door, for Senator Jones Is not In that room, 'l'bat reom is kept to store cards in. But he i3 not in it. Sometimes ho gets almost a room full of cards, he says, if ho stays there long enough. Ho has a better room, which he occupies. Sometimes a real friend or constituent calls, and foolishly sends up his card to this lay figure room of Jones', and afterward when tho senator meets him it affords him a great deal of pleasure to regret his absence at the time of the call. Happiness Was Theirs. Mr. Grumpy—No, you wero a misfit. —Lawrence American. First Anglomaniac—Just think of it, Chawles. I thaw the Prince of Walthe as he was going into the Victoria hotel this mawning. Li peanuts? Little Two—No, ho wants to— some He Thought Probable. * "Couriers had gone to the Upper Peloncillo for them several days ago, and, as Lane says, they are expected at Graham this evening. Lane himself rode after his own men two hoars after he got to the post from the east, and Noel, who is K'b new captain, is due at Graham station to-night." Second Anglomaniac—Weally, Gawge. And I 3aw him as ho was coming out. Officious Stranger (who has been boring his fellow passenger for an hour)— By the way, haven't I met you- somewheres before? "Riley's got 'em, sir," be bears his boy trumpeter call. "Some of 'em, anyhow. There's two white women." First Anglomaniac — That is honor enough for one day. Let us return to our hotel.—Yankee Blade. "Never mind, lad," he answers. "Don't sound the recall till I tell you." Stranger—Very likely. I'm the state inspector of lunatic asylums.—Lawrence American. Then ho pencils this brief note: "Commanding Officer Troop K, Eleventh Cavalry: And again his ringing voice is heard among the tumult: "Forward! forwardl drive them! keep them on the run, men!" A Diplomatic Female. "Who was it that just rung?" asked Belle of her brother Johnny. "Mr. Katch, your beau," replied Johnny. Duty First In All Things. "Then send him orders to lead his troop instantly, tollow and support Lane. Tell him not to lose a moment on the way. Everything may depend upon his promptness and seal." "Wo have headed tho Apaches and will attack their camp the instant it is light enough to see, rescue their captives, then fall back hero to tho gorge of the San Simon. They far outnumber us, and you cannot reach us too soon. I count upon your being hero by 8 in the morning, and hope with your aid to hold tho enemy until Oreene'B command arrives. Then we ought to capture the whole band. Do not fail me. And so for fivo minutes longer, firing whenever a savage head appears, inflicting and receiving many a savage blow, but still victoriously forcing their way onward, the little band follow their leader down the rocka until apparently not an Apache is left in the immediate neighborhood of the old camp. Then at last the trumpet peals out its signal recallJeweler's Bookkeeper — Mr. Miller! "Mercy," cried Belle; "I didn't expect him so soon. Tell him I am reading, but will be down in a minute. And bo sure," eho added, "that you tell him it is a cooker* book I am reading."—Yankee Blade. And so it happened that when Capt. Noel stepped from the train that afternoon at the old station the telegraph messenger oarno forward to meet him, touching his cap and saying, "TMs dispatch has been awaiting you, sir, sinoe 11 o'clock this morning. I hare just had a dispatch from the post, and K Troop got in two hours ago and is already starting. Lieut. Mason says an orderly is coming ahead with a horse and the captain's field kit. Shall I wire for anything alaa?" b.NKEZE! —Puck. Not Mutual. Papa—Why do you wish to marry him, Ethel? And slowly and steadily, watchfully guarding against the possibility of leaving some wounded comrade among the rocks, the little command finally gathers once more around the fires in the camp. Conjngul Amenltlea. In attending a funeral, and while viewing t'uo remains, do not lay the back of your ltanCl on the face of deceased to satisfy yourself that life is extinct, unless he had called upon you during life. "Frederick Lank, "Captain Eleventh Cavalry." Wife—You do not 8[Deak to me aa affectionately ns you use. I to, George. I think you have ceasjd to love me. Ethel—Why, because he loves ma Mr, Miller! Mr. Miller (foreman of the factory)— What? r This he gave to 8ergt. Luce, with orders to ride back on the trail utU he meets K troop and deliver it to Lieut. Mason or whoever is in command, and in half an hour Lnaa is away. Husband—There you are again! Ceased to love you! Why, I love you better than my life. Now shut up and let me read my paper.—Boston Courier, Papa—But do you love him? Ethel—Why, no. I never thought of that. I've been too much interested in getting him to propose to have time to think of it.—Wilmington Craftsman, i fl Do not call upon persons in reduced circumstances wearing a great display of wealth and oruyrngq^atioQ. Bookkeeper—Please make excuses for M at the office to-morrow morning.— rUonnde Blaettest And now, secure in the belief that they have thrown all the cavalry for to Riley and his men have disappeared. A shout from up the rocks in the well knowu Irish voice gives the ffladJatslU-