Pittston Gazette

              • - PITTSTON, LUZERNE CO., PA., FRIDAY, JUNE 27, 1890. "T«*«u"™,Vw* 1 Oldest NewsDaDer in the Wyoming Valley. A WeeKly Local and l-'amilv Journal. way by the lantern's rays, the footsteps of the foremost ruffian sounding at hie heels in quick pursuit. 'People i have met. \ i ; THE POET'S APOLOGY. Jep saw and heard it all. He knew from their words that the ruffian had assaulted his father and left him unconscious, perhaps dead, and that the pumpman was about to be similarly treated. If they should discover him there was no doubt but that he would share the fate of the other two. Tint ..  TAMU j I "Wo, 6ir. 1 am a Mugwump, if you please," ho said, with fine scorn. "1 don't care if all the other Mugwumps go to Canada, or change their names, or turn over their property to their wives; 1 shall live and die a Mugwump, pure and simple. I do not care for office, and I do not care for political preferment, but I can put my hand on my heart and say truthfully that I have been politically pure. My record would not soil the finest fabric. We held a mass meeting of Mugwumps only last week in a hall bedroom up town, and we decided that come what might we would cast our ballots in the direction of reform." CHURCH NEWSPAPERS. SOME BAD BIBLES. ODDS AND ENDS. No, the Muse has gone away. Does not haunt me much today. Everything she had to say ■ V ' But it was only for a moment. Then, behind him, there was a cry of horror, under him something crashing heavily down among the forest of timbers, around him impenetrable darkness again. In the eagerness of swift pursuit the man had failed to see that his path was at an end; he had rushed off into space and had gone plunging through the open trestle to his death. BILL NYE UNBOSOMS HIMSELF How Catholic Parishes Supplement til* Pulpit by the Press. Curious Mistakes That Have Occurred In the Various Editions. A new system of burning brick, by the use of kerosene oil instead of wood, is dow being tried as an experiment at Jova's yard, north of Newburg, N. Y., on a kiln containing 375,000 brick. ! ' Has beensaidr Twas not much at any time All that she could hitch in rhyme; Never was the Muse sublime Who has iledt ABOUT A FEW NOTABLES. At the Sunday services in the Catholio churches the priest, before beginning his sermon, reads to the congregation a number of notices relating to the parish and to the duties of the parishioners. In large city parishes the priests have found it difficult to make many of the people understand these notices intelligently. This is because of the shortness of the masses and the vastness of the congregations. The Paulist Fathers of the Church of St. Paul the Apostle, in West Fifty-ninth street, have devised a plan to overcome this difficulty. Their example is being followed by the priests of many other churches. Although the greatest caro has been taken to make the various editions of the Bible perfect translations, still errors have been overlooked from time to time, and have given rise to various names by which the edition containing the error has been known. The following list of these curious Bibles is extracted from an article by W. Wright, D.D.: He Writes of Globe Trotter Train, Hi* Close Friend the Prince of Wales, It has been decided that the "Ion" of Euripides is to be the next Greek play at Cambridge, England. It will be presented next November by the students of that university. Any one who takes her in Hay observe she's rather thin; Little more than boee and Bkin Suddenly it occurred to him that ii he was to escape now was the opportunity, while the room was in darkness, before the man should return with the lantern, before the breaker should be set on lire, an act which these men doubtless had in contemplation. Remington from Rochelle and a Man Who Was Known as Bob Ingersoll. Is the Muse; Scanty sacrifice she won When her very best she'd done. And at her they poked their fun In reviews. [Copyright by Edgar W. Nye.] THE BREECHES BIBLE. Hattebtown, Conn. "Then the eies of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked, and they sewed flggo tree leaves together and made themselves Breeches." Gen. iii, 7. Printed in 1560. A new disinfectant has made its appearance under the name of thiocamph. It ifi a combination of camphor with sulphurous acid, containing over sixty times its volume of sulphurous acid gas, which upon its exposure in a warm room- is squally evolved. * Seville is infested with women barbers They are pretty women, however. A woman barber cau tuck a towel under a gentleman's chin, hold Mm by the nose and brandish a razor as well as a man, and "»» do more talking at the same time. A census of wolves has been taken in Russia. They amount to 170,000, according to the enumerators. They commit great havoc among the sheep and pigs, and during the past year 203 human beings have been devoured by them. The price of a wolf's head is fixed by the government at ten roubles. About 80,000 of them were killed last year. But Jep did not know what had happened. The cry only sent wilder fear into his heart and nerved him to greater effort. It has occurred to me that this letter may be pardoned for being a trifle personal. In the past eleven months I have traveled a little over 24,000 miles, and "Bhymes," in truth, "are stubborn things," And to rhyme she clung, and clings, But whatever song she xin;?a Slipping from the bench he felt his way carefully to the machinery of the engine, climbed cautiously over the big shaft and keeping his hand on the bed plate crawled along beside it till he readied the starting bar. He knew that straight ahead of this and up two steps was the door that led to the screen room. Just then we got to his street and he got off. He gave me his card as he lefi us, and a few days after I called on him at his place of business, just off the Bowery, to get him to explain his conversation and peculiar views. I found that he was a small tradesman down town, and not the Bob Ingersoll who cherishes doubts on the subject of infant damnation. His name is Robert Ingersoll, it seems, but ho had never written pieces criticising Moses or lectured on "The Magnificence of Divine Wrath." I Scarcely sells. If her tone be grave they say "Give us something rather gay," If she's skittish then they pray "Something else I" Finally he came to the end of the plank walk. Before him his hands touched nothing. He almost lost his balance, and recoiled in sudden terror from the edge of this black abyss. But he imagined that the men were still following him. He thought he heard them crawling on the plank almost at his heels. In his wild dread of them anything was better than capture. so, quietly stranded here in the beautiful trout country, where, as soon as you get out of hearing of one babbling brook, you immediately get into the diocese of another one, it seemed to me that a chapter made up this week of brief personals regarding some of the well known people who during the past year or two have taken my little hand in theirn and looked into my massive face would not be amiw. A newspaper on a small scale is what the Paulists use to communicate with their It is called The Monthly Calendar of the Church of St. Paul the Apostle. The number of pages whfch each issue of The Calendar contains is usually sixteen, but often there are twenty-four. The size of the page is 6% by inches. A heavy paper cover, adorned with an engraving of the church, incloses the pages, on which reading matter and advertisements alternate. In the upper portion of four of the pages containing reading matter is printed a list of the feasts of each of the four weeks in the month. It occupies about one-fourth of the page. Beneath it are brief notices about societies of the parish whose meetings occur during the week, and paragraphs on various subjects of special interest to the parishioners. Various parish topics are discussed in the reading matter printed on the other pages. The Calendar has an editor. He is the Rev. John J. Hughes, one of the younger members of the Paulist community. Father Hughes takes a great interest in his little publication. "So that thou shalt not nede to be afraid for any Bugges by nighte, nor for the arrow that flyeth by day." Ps. xci, 5. Printed in 158L THE BCO BIBLE. BOCHELLE REMINGTON. jury among temperance societies and weakened his influence with them where otherwise he could have done them much good. A mining nabob of San Francisco, for whom Visscher had done a great favor, as he is mighty apt to do for most anybody, once gave him a pointer by which he was able to make several thousand dollars. Mr. Visscher had long desired. to D*atoniah southern California with a meritorious drama and thoroughly great company. So he bought a fine team or two, and getting some nice new scenery painted he started due south from San Francisco as the crow flies. In seeking to elevate the stage of southern California, however, the pry seemed to slip out and catch the enterprising ele. vator by the fingers. So, gradually be sold one diamond stud after another, and instead of driving them tandem he drove them single, and finally had nothing left but his other team. THE TREACLE BIBLE. So she's cut the whole concern. Lute and lyre, and torch and urn. Thoughts that breathe, and words that burn. "Is there no treacle at Gilead if Is there no physician there T' Jeremiah viii, 22. Printed tn 1568. Joys or woes. For Parnassus is too steep; And the only Muse I keep, And that keeps me, writes a heap, But It's prose. —Andrew Lang in Jltrfray's Magazine. THE BOSIN BIBLE So far the sound of his progress had been hushed by the noise of the beating storm outside. If now he could reach the screen room unheard he would be safe. The man in the doorway was not twenty feet away. The outline of his figure was dimly disoerafble in the darkness. "Is there no rosin in Gilead/ Is there no physician there?" Jeremiah viii, 22. Printed in 1609. He turned quickly in his tracks and let himself down at the edge of the plank, swinging by his hands. How far below him the solid earth was he did not know; he hardly stopped to think. The fear of those whom he believed to be above him led him Into desperate chances. I happened to be in Boston last winter when George Francis Train was liberated from jail. He was sitting in a hotel office "suffering himself to be admired." Win recent trip around the world brings him once more to our notice. At that time be was just getting out after an agreeable and successful confinement in the Boston Bastile, during which he succeeded in attracting a good deal of attention in one way and another. He bad tried on being liberated to purchase a suit of convict stripes, which he might wear upon debuttlng; but Boston does Dot keep an assortment of this kind of goods; so George, who has lived in New York for a long time, where you can run around the corner anywhere almost and get a suit of striped clothes, with a W»D terbury watch as a premium, was disappointed. He therefore had to buy a suit of broad stripe seersucker, and with a carnation in his buttonhole he broke forth on the winter air like a lily of the valley in search of an open Polar sea. He wrote a verse of poetry for me with red, blue and green pencils. It is not good poetry, but it is bright and cheerful to look at. Mr. Train is never so. bright and chipper as when he is occupying the public eye. But it is rather irritating to the public eye sometimes, I foitiV George would also like the eye of the speaker most all of the time if he oould have it. I do not think he is really crazy, but at times I think that a little disinfectant would help his poetic feet. He was a simple minded, plain American citizen of limited information, and 1 had to spend some considerable time explaining to him who I was! THE PLACE-MAKEBS' BIBLE. "Blessed are the place makers; for they •hall be called the children of God." Matthew v, 9. Printed in 1561- 2. THE WATCHMAN'S BOY. THE VINEQAR BIBLE. % "The Parable of the Vinegar," instead of "The Parable of the Vineyard," appears in 'die chapter heading to Luke xx, in an Oxford edition of the authorized version which was published in 1717. A Berlin restaurant and cafe is cooled in summer and heated in winter by electricityt and the flood of light from the electric lamps is tinted a delicate pink, which is so becoming to the complexion of the lady visitors that the place is thronged. A statistical enthusiast gays that a pianist, in playing a certain presto, played 5,595 notes in four minutes. The striking of each note involved two movements of the finger and one movement each of the elbow, wrist and arm. From this it is calculated that seventy-two voluntary movements were made per second. Jep's father was night watchman at No. 2 breaker, and in the screen room of the same breaker Jep himself was employed as a slate picker. Jep rose to his feet, held his hands out before him and moved cautiously forward. The next moment he came in contact with the stool on which the lantern had stood, tipped it over, stumbled over it and fell heavily to the floor. He dropped. But less than six feet below him lay the solid earth, and he was not harmed. The shock of surprise weakened him, though, and for a minute he lay quite still. THIS WICKED BIBLE. Out of Patients. This extraordinary name has boen giveu to an edition of the authorized Bible priuted in London by Robert Barker and Martin Lucas in 1631. The negative was left out of the Seventh Commandment, and William Kilburne, writing in 1659, says that owing to the teal of Dr. Usher, the printer was fined £2,000 or £3,000. But the breaker had been idle for three weeks on account of the strike, aad Jep had had no work. No one knew when the strike1 would end. Meddlesome and hot headed persons were stirring up strife between employer and employees, and every one feared trouble. At such a time the post of night watchman was one of danger as well as of responsibility. But Jep's father neither feared the one nor shirked the other. Friend (to young doctor)—I should think you would get out of patience, sitting here alone all day. The man in the doorway started, turned and looked back into the room, but in the darkness he could see nothing."A Calendar like ours would be a great benefit to every parish," said he to a reporter. "The Calendar is the Catholic's religious memorandum book. As the sailor consults his almanac for tides and the phases of the moon, so should the Catholio refer to his Calendar. For every day there is a saint or a devotion, for every week a meeting of some society, his own or his children's, and for every season of the year a special phase of his religious life. The Calendar is a chart for his voyage. With our large congregations and our short masses the parochial relation is at a minimum. Every expedient to supplement this should be resorted to with alacrity. "If a business maft is not sure those who trade with him understand his wordi, he sends a circular to them. That is exactly the purpose of The Calendar. It is a printed message from the pastor of souls to his flock. In largfe city parishes such a means of communication is necessary if we want the people to understand intelligently the notices and regulations of the parish. When read from the pulpit it is safe to say one-third of the congregation do not hear a word of them and another third forget them. Bat when the notices are in cold type and carried home they are apt to be read and commented upon, and thus rubbed in, as it were, and not so easily forgotten."Somewhere above him he heard an angry voice and the noise of heavy footsteps, and still fearful he rose to his feet and began to grope his way down the hill along the base timbers of the trestling. First be sold his scenery. Then his thunder and lightning machinery. Young Doctor—I do; but then what is the use? A man must have patients to get along in this business, you know. —Lowell Citizen. "Hello!" he shouted, "who's there?" And so, finally, as autumn stole down from her great laboratory and paint shop and began to decorate the woods with her beautiful dyes, Mr. Visscher'a leading man secured a job in a barber shop, his leading lady began to wait on the table at the Henn house, in southern California; the low comedian got a job "off bearing" in a brick yard, and Mr. Visscher thoughtfully felt his way back to San Francisco as a phrenologist. "Who bath ears to ear, let him hear." Matthew xiii, 43. Printed in 1810. THE EARS-TO-EAR BIBLE. For answer Jep scrambled to his feet and groped his way, regardless of noise, to the steps. The Institute of Fran presented with 3,000 maps and documents, called Latin countri collection wa3 presto sympathy toward Fran consisting of Col. ,T Uruguay; Dr. J. Guti of legation of Colotr y Xavos, formerly cr zuela. -ice has just been volumes, including relative to the go :s of America. Th® . ited as a tribute of ance by a committee J. Bias, minister oi ieres-Ponce, secretary ibia, and J. A. Cftrillo usul general of V«ae- "Pity a poor blind man with a large family!" cried a wayside beggar. Stack to His Text. THK STANDING-FISHES BIBLE Soon he saw a light coming up toward him. It was carried by the pumpman, who had heard Jerry's cry of distress and had come out to investigate."And it shall couio to pass that the CUhes will stand upon it," etc. Ezek. xlvii, 10. Printed in 18()(D. But the man did not attempt to follow him. He turned instead to the open door and called to his companion: "And how many children have you, unfortunate man?" asked a lady in great concern. Yet this August evening, as he stood in the doorway of his cottage, dinner pail in hand, ready to start for the scene of his nightly task, there were murmurs on his lips. They were not brought there by fear, but by a sense of the long night of loneliness that lay before him. Jep rose quickly from his seat on the doorstep. TBS DISCJAB3E BIBLE. "I discharge thee before God." I Tim. v, 21. Printed in 1807. ' 'Jerry! hello, Jerry! Come back here wi' the lantern, quick 1" "How can I tell, madam? I can't see 'em."—Judge. "Why, Jep," he cried, as the rays from his lantern flashed into the boy's white face, "what ails ye, Jep? an' where's the father?" THE WIFE-HATER BIBLE. But Jep, having reached the steps, climbed up to them, opened the door and the next moment was ascending the longer flight of steps that led to the screen room. "If any inan come to me, and hate not his father * * * yea, and his own wife also," etc. Luko iv, 30. Printed in 1810. He is now rapidly becoming very wealthy as one of the principal owners of Fair haven, a beautiful and booming town on the coast,where they blow out a dozen or so pine trees today and tomorrow there is an opera house on the ground. Not Lost. The anntial list of articles lost the balls of the preceding season Winter palace at St. Petersburg h been published. It includes a gran of the order of St. Anna, two stars order of St. Stanislaus, two gold struek .in memory of the coronat AlexanderTIl at Moscow, fiy&caaH-  and fifty bits of women's jewelry valued at •30,000. * Anxious Traveler—Boatman, are persons ever lost in this river? HEBEKAH'S-CAMELS DI3LE In a few words Jep told bis story, and then they both hurried back to the breaker. Just outside the door of the engine room they found Jep's father, bound and gagged, and cruelly, though not fatally beaten, and they helped him inside oat of the storm, restored him to consciousness, and then Jep, taking the pumpman's lantern, went to the nearest cottage for help. Boatman—Oh, no, sir. My brother was drowned here last week, but we found him the next day.—Journal of Education. "And Rebekah arose ami her camels." Genesis xxiv, 61. Printed in 1823. TO-REMAIN BIBLE "Let me go with you, father," he ■aid. "I'd like to go." The man looked down on him in astonishment.Down in the engine room he heard the two men moving about, apparently in the search for him. He knew that they would follow him, and he felt that in some way he must make his escape from them. Without considering where the course would lead to, he dropped to his knees, and with one hand on the iron sheathed shute he began climbing alongside of it up the long slope of the screen room. "Persecuted him that was born after the spirit to remain, even so it is now." Gal. iv, 20. Everybody who knows anything about western life, and even those who do not, have admired and praised the spirited pictures of the plains by Frederick Remington. Naturally you would expect to find the talented artist a man about 60 years of age, but he is apparently under 80, with a round, jolly face and a general boyish look. He is the first cowboy and bronco and Texas steer artist who has put vitality into those wild denizens of the plains and eliminated that pasteboard, Noah's ark style of animal which, as Emerson used to so tersely put it, tends toward giving one a pain. Remington lives at New Rochelle, where the Roche lie* salts are made, and regards himself as one of the Rochelle salts of the earth, no doubt. For brain fag he comes down to New York and fishes off the dock. The Proper Place for It. This typographical error, which was per petuated in the first Svo Bible printed for the Bible society, takes its chief importance from the curious circumstance under which it arose. A l'-Jmo Bible was being printed at Cambridge in 1S05, and the proof reader being in doubt as to whether or not ho should remove a comma, applied to his superior, and the reply, peuclled on the margin "to remain," was transferred to the body of tlie text and repeated in the Bible society's 8vo edition of 1805-G, and also in another 12mo •dition of 1819.—Leisure Hours. Assistant Editor—Here is a very clean little poem, entitled "On an Empty Stomach." Where shall we put it? Judge "W. T. Newman, of Atlanta, owna i pewter coin or medal bearing on one side .he representation of Independence hall, at Philadelphia, and the date 1776. On the Dther side is the Liberty bell and the inscription: "Proclaim Liberty Throughout the Land, unto All the Inhabitants There ■it" with the denomination, "£5." x This year is the 200th anniversary of the invention of the improved tobacco pipe— the bowl, the tube and the mouthpiece. Up T5 to the year 1600 the only medium of enjoying the fragrant weed was by means of a cylindrical instrument fashioned from the crude clay and smelling of the earth earthy. The inventor of the present combination pipe was a physician, Dr. Yilarius, of Vienna. The first tobacco pipe manufactory was established in 1600. Enough jewelry was lost at the las' queen's drawing room to have stocked small shop. The crowding and pushin' barriers were so terrific that severe* men had their dresses and feathers w ly damaged, and two ladies passed' the throne room with fearfully ? hair. However, the jewelry w' at the palace is always well' so the missing property was gained by the owners. "Why, lad!" he exclaimed, "w'at be ye thinkin' of? Wat'd ye be doin' wi' yourae'f a' night?" In Danbury, Conn., there stands • modest two story brick building, across the front of which in golden script you read Editor—Oh, I guess we had better put It on our inside,—Burlington Free Press. w'at you do, father," replied Jgp^HSutly. Jep's father stood for a moment in thought. It was evident that the proposition did not strike him unpleasantly. Afterward they found the fallen ruffian lying across the sill of a trestle, bent quite dead. His companion, afraid to go forward and unable to return through the dark wilderness of the breaker, was captured, tried, convicted of participating in the assault and sent to prison.—Homer Greene in New York World. THE DANBURY NEWS. "Did you ever notice, Hokus, the fashion men have of Baying 'Is that so?* after they're told anything? They all do it." Illustrated. At the Paulist Fathers' church the first Sunday of every month over 5,000 copies of The Calendar for that month are distributed without charge among the parishioners. This costs a nice little sum, but the money received for the advertisements pays all the expenses. The two men having finished their hasty tour of the engine room were already on the first steps of the flight which the boy had just ascended. Jep heard them and knew that he must make haste. Coming to the lower screen he felt his way along under it till he reached the outside wall of the breaker; then, rising again to his feet and placing his hand against the wall, he walked up the narrow cleated passage that led to the dump room at the head just as the lantern, in the hands of his pursuers, flashed its light across the dust laden timbers of the screen room. The paper was the pioneer in its lis* of household humor. Every day a handsome, thoughtful man, with iron gray hair, comes down to this building and manages the paper. He does not try to be funny. He knew when he had enough. That is James M. Bailey, who made his mark upon the current literature of his time and then quietly resumed the business of publishing an evening paper with no features to it, just as though he had always done so. Mr. Bailey is an unwilling victim of the baseball scourge, for he is one of the local board, I think, or something of that kind, and owns stock in a club, while he doesn't really know how many strikes a side has before it is out, and still thinks that you have got to raise a blood blister on a player with the ball when he is off the "gool" in order to get him. Mr. Bailey claims yet that a player who is timply disabled by the ball is not out. He held no later than last season, while umpiring a game at Bridgeport, that in order to put out a man Who is running the bases the ball should strike him in * "Well," he Baid at last, "I like the sound o' it. Here, mother!"he shouted, turning in the doorway. "Put a bit dinner in ma pail for Jep. He goes wi' me the night" "Is that so?"—Philadelphia Times. No Indication of Love. Father Hughes says that the use of The Calendar has had a marked effect. ' Whenever we wished to call attention to any new regulation or denounce any abuse," he told the reporter, "we spoke to the people through The Calendar and good results were produced. If the people do not recite the prayers properly after mass, we tell them through its pages how it should be done, and repeat the notice until we have gained what we want. If they rush out of church before the priest leaves the altar, a little good humored sarcasm printed in the next Calendar will make them feel ashamed to do the like again." In this city the parishes that have Calendars similar to that of the Paulist Fathers are those of the Church of the Sacred Heart, the Church of St. Vincent Ferrer and St. Monica's church. Half a dozen churches in Brooklyn have Calendars and in other cities the example of the Paulist Fathers is also being followed.— New York Sun. Mollis Moore Davis is now the first woman sofig writer in the south. She wrote, and wrote well, as early as her fifteenth year. Her poem, "Minding the Gap," created a great sensation and was written when she was only 1(5. She is specially well known fpr her contributions to the war poetry of the south, the stirring and martial character of her verse. Since then she has tuned her harp to softer measures, and has succeded in every style of verse that she has written. She is equally facile in prose; her series of sketches, "In War Times at La Rose Blanctie," ore unique and beautiful enough to make alone the fame of any writer. She, like many of the best women writers in the south, makes New Orleans her home. The gulf coast seems to be a fertile field for developing literary talent, and it is surprising to note the number of writers of first class ability who make their homes in New Orleans, Mobile and neighboring cities. Two Southern Women. "But do you love hie, Alberta?" Jep's mother hurried to the door in astonishment. "What's that?" she exclaimed; "Jep goes wi' you?" It Is the Liver. The speaker, judging from the tone oi his liquid voice, had evidently had enough of trifling. The value of the liver medicine sold in the United States in 1889 was $28,- 000,000. Tou can make a man believe that his liver is out of order when he won't admit consumption with one lung gone.—Detroit Free Press, "Why, Ambrose, yon certainly cannot donbt that I am attached to you," and she put a little more arm leverage in the full Nelson neck hold she had on him tc emphasize her remarks. "Aye! Jep goes wi' me." "Well, who ever heard the like?" "I want to go, mother," said Jep; Walter Hoboken McDougall, who has earned a world wide reputation by drawing a terse bnt grossly libelous caricature of the writer, is a slight blonde with a white flannel suit He has the air of a man about town, and though openly abusing the English toady he frequently rolls np his flannel panties at the bottom as he reads the London weather re* ports. He dresses very beautifully and may be seen tripping gayly to his work at half-past six in the morning, trudging np to The World office with an armful of choioe sketches and a bright new dinner pail containing homemade bread and molasses, doughnuts with apertures in them and a small flask of milk. He attributes much of his success to his wise choice of good subjects for illustration, industry, patience and the use of fine cnt tobacco as a gentle tonic. Frederick Burlingame Opper, the brilliant and versatile artist of Puck, is a young man, and also a small blonde, who parts his pleasant hair in the middle and pokes fun at people in a profitable manner. He also writes a funny letter when he tries. On a pleasant day, when the toil of the morning is over, one may occasionally meet the evangelical Bunner, Opper and Taylor at a drug store up near Houston and Broadway, where they are drinking flavored wind and conversing freely with the tradespeople who pass in and out, giving them a pleasant nod of recognition ever and anon. "Yes, Alberta, but that is not sufficient. I am not satisfied. The dog may be attached to the tin can, but does he therefore love it?"—Philadelphia Times. "Cornel cornel" interrupted the man good naturally; ' tha's no time to lose. Ill see that no harm comes till'm." In a certain college in which the attendance on prayers is optional the number of students who attend is relatively g] cater than the number of professors.' 'Whoever it was he must 'a' come this way," said the leader. «r, re- So it came abont that Jep went that night with his father. It was a good half mile to the breaker, and it was quite dark when they reached their destination. "Ye're sure ye didn't imagine it, Jack?" questioned the other. Infant BealUm, Montenegro has limestone ridges ot traverse it occasions peaks, are so ruggea people have the cor God was in the act over the earth, f burst, and let them negro." hardly any plains. The the Dinarie Alps which 'y diversified by lofty _ - and rocky that the common saying, "When \ of distributing stones le bag that held them all fall upon Montous to conceive tto Sail splendidly imoed » i region, yet there is Among the manyints made by Col. Flatters, in 1871 made a prelimi- Sahara, with a view .y through Timbuctoo ♦he desert is traversed chains, which are injf ancient rivers, and D-alleys an abundance not far below the surface. '; "There!" he exclaimed, suddenly stopping, "did ye hear that?" BtlU Another Accident. R»v. Mr. Tillinghast—Not quarreling When the dinner pail was hung up and the lantern lighted they made the tour of the breaker, man and boy together. This took a long time, for the building was a very large one and had many wings. Outside it had begun to rain and it was very dark, so dark that the outlines of the massive structure could not be distinguished against the blackness of the sky. When they were seated in the engine room Jep said: It was a noise like the sound of a slamming door, coming from somewhere above them in the breaker. Both men hurried across the shutes to the passage through which Jep just disappeared and began to ascend it Mrs. Mary Ashley Townseud is a singularly gifted woman, who has written much in prose and verse. "The Captain's Story" is a highly dramatic narrative poem of..considerable length. "The Bather" is an exquisite idyl, tad many other poems of hers are in fused with light and tenderness. But, above all, her poem "My Creed" stands unmatched as a love poem, so thrillingly passionate and full of longing. That would have made her a wide fame if she had never written anothei line, and is worthy to rank with Gray's "Elegy" and Wilde's "Summer Rose."—Mel R. Colquitt. Vital spot. The Prince of Wales in the past year is looking more thoughtful, I think, than formerly. When I ran in upon him last Short and Sweet. She entered a Sixth avenue men's furnisher's. She wore a little snuff colored derby, easy fitting gloves, a low cut checked waistcoat, close fitting skirt, snuff colored overgaiters and a Henley shirt with a high collar. There was a pink in her buttonhole. The head clerk danced forward to meet it. It is difficult for hara as having beei and richly productr proof it was once so teresting statemeD of England, who nary study of Eastern of building a railway to Soudan, is that by many mountaii. tersected by the beds everywhere in thesf of water is found * The noise they had heard was indeed that of a slamming door, the handle of which had inadvertently slipped from Jep1s grasp as he olosed it behind him on his way to the head of the breaker. A new scheme of escape had come into his mind. It was simply to cross the mouth of the shaft and pass out by the car tracks to the trestling and thence to the lulls, whence came the mine cars with their loads. "Necktie!" "For yourself?" "Who else?" "Style?" "Teck." "Color?" "White." "Price?" "No object." "Which?" "This." "One dollar." "It goes!" "Change." "Thanks." "Wrap?" "No, wear It!" "It's a bad night to watch, ain't it, father?" Herr Songstrom's luxuriant mustache had been his especial pride for years, but it behaved very badly on one occasion. "Why?" asked his father. "Well, it's so dark an' rainy, you know." The Diibonorcd Degree of D. D. I hope, children? Tommy—Oh, no. We're just having tableaux. This is a verbatim account of a sale overheard a few days since. The young woman was pretty, but of that peculiar masculine tailo riled growth that carried out in her shopping the businessfied air she took on. "Do you often have them like that so short and sXVeet?" I inquired. This is the time when I am anticipating letters from men asking mo to use my influence with a college to secure for them the degree of doctor of divinity. I write this, not so much in self defense as in reference to what is an evil custom. Yes, it is a custom, auJ k it a custom altogether too common as v. v-Il as evil. The method is somewhat of this sort: Mr. X. Y. thinks the time has come when he wants to write "D. D." after his name. He looks over the list of colleges, among the officers of which he has friends; he writes to one of them; his friend replies that he will do all that he can to secure the degree for him. He then writes to some distin guished and able minister, saying that there has been some mention of himself as a candidate for the degree of doctor of divinity in college, and he is sure that if this distinguished and able minister v .:i 1*D bo good as to write a letusr to the trustees oI the college, a letter from a gentleman so distinguished will have great value. The distinguished and able gentleman writes the letter. He multiplies this able and distinguished minister by some six or ten. The Impression created among the trustee of college is that the world is demanding that the degree of "D. D." be conferred upon this man; and, nine cases out of ten, conferred it is. All this is bad. It is bad for the man who receives the degree. The degree is somewhat of a lie. It is not conferred as ,ia honor, but is conferred as the result oi Dr's Cnvn personal application. It is bail lora college, which is dragooned into giving u lirst rate degree to a third rate man. It is bad for the meaning of the degree itself, debasing it. It is now in certain ways more honorable not to have the degree than to have it.—Cor. Chicago Advance. Furniture That Is Seldom Taken Indoors* Persons returning from places of amusement in the evening are often surprised to see that some of the furniture dealers who have stores on corners in the streets devoted to the great retail establishments keep displays of their wares on the aidewalk over night, a watchman patroling up and down to see that nothing is stolen. The reasons for doing this are several. In the first place the exhibition attracts attention. People notiee it, remark on it, and the store is advertised thereby. Again, the plan is an economical one, it being cheaper to hire a watchman than to have the employes spend the time to put articles on the sidewalk in the morning and take D ~ them in again at night. The display stretches along both sides of the building, and includes enough articles to furnish ft big house. To carry them in and out, therefore, is a task that takes several men some time, and letting them stand over night is, on the whole, a good idea, espe cially as no little storage room Is saved ii that way. "An' wa't has that to do wT it?" With this end in view he crawled up by the dump shute bars to the weigh platform, and thence to the carnageway of the shaft. It was easy enough now to follow the rails of the mine car track. But it was well for him to be sure that the horizontal gates were covering the mouth of the shaft; otherwise lie might go stumbling into the pit and plunge down 100 feet to the bottom ct the mine. Mr. Tillinghast—What does this one represent? "Oh, it's a good night to hide," replied Jep, looking anxiously off into the dark corners of the engine room "A man might jump out from somewhere an' you never see him till he was onto you." Tommy—Mamma asking papa for a check.—Puck. "No," answered the clerk, "if we did we could retire in a year. We do a considerable trade with the younger class of women in neckwear, cuffs, waistbelts, sashes and outing wear but they seldom come so quick. My, she Was a daisy!—Clothier and Furnisher. A Left Handed Compliment. Kamble, who makes the characteristic jays and coons of The Century, is young and good looking, with a dark mustache and a bright Pan-American look of keen observation and the air of one who isn't going to let any point get away. The other day Johnny came running home from school and handed his mother a note. "So he might any night an' there was any object in it." "Well you know they've threatened to bum the breaker, an' they"  "Mamma," he said, "here is u left handed compliment which I just received from the teacher." So he felt his way very cautiously, and finding the gate in place stepped on it with a light foot, realizing that nothing save these hard wood slats lay between liim and instant death. Ones across the opening he moved on more rapidly through the head house and out on to the trestling. His Highness Is a Perfect Gentleman. "Ah, now! Don't be scarin' yourself, an' don't be talkin' trash. Nobody'll fire the breaker, I warrant ye, an' nobody'll be botherin' us wi' this in ma pocket," and he placed his hand significantly on the butt of his large revolver.The wires of his electric scarf pin got crossed with one end of it.—Judge. De Grimm is older and more distingue, with a slight mustache and a quick, His mother, upon reading the missive, found it to be highly praiseworthy of Johnny's spelling. Friday evening, May 3, the civil governor of this island caVe a ball in honor of the Grand Duke do Lcuchtenberg. It was quite swell. Hmtlou of Selene*. rammer I found him reading a long table of statistics regarding the longevity of stout people. He was looking a little haggard, I thought, and so I tried to chirp him up. "To be frank with you," said he, "I think that mother is holding out pretty well, Bill, don't you?" I said, "Yes, she seemed real rugged for a person that hired all her work done." "Well," said he with a sigh, "it seems a little tough, I think, for that young German rooster to be running a whole empire at his age, whilst I'm liable to become a grandfather soon and don't know even what a throne feels like. I think," said he, thoughtfully, as he disengaged a golden hair (evidently off the sunny head of his chief typewriter) from the fringe of his epaulet, where it had in some way become entangled, "that the chief charm about a successful reign is to know when to quit. I've seen monarchs that meant well and did well enough, but who held on to the throne like a pup to a root, as you so chastely put it in one of your letters which I was reading to Alick at the breakfast table." "Alick?" said L "Who the royal highness is Alick?" MEETING TRAIN. nervous way. He makes a very clear, good portrait and works very rapidly. But I didn't intend to dwell so long on the artists. "Haven't you any glasses that will magnify more that these?" asked the customer. "I travel on the night train on the Chicago and East"  "Why this is no left handed compliment," she said. "This is very encouraging."The duke is one of the most pleasing gentlemen I ever met. One must never ask to be presented to royalty. If royalty wants one presented he signifies that fact. I wfe presented to the duke. I told him "that I thought the climate of Madeira was wonderful, and that the weather we were having was charming." He agreed to both of these. He agreed immediately. Most men would have wanted to argue the propositions, and would probably have kept me there till 3 o'clock in the morning before I should have Reen able to establish these simple facts. I hate a fellow that always wants to argue. When I bade the duke good evening I never saw a man more pleased. He is certainly one of the most pleasant and agreeable gentlemen I ever had the pleasure of meeting.—Madeira Cor. Louisville Courier-JournaL "Yes,'' replied Johnny, "butour teacher wrote it with her left hand. She's left handed."—Philadelphia Times. From somewhere in the great building came a dull noise as of pounding, followed by a slight rattle, and then all was still. He was in the open air now, with the storm beating on him; under his feet a network of timbers a hundred feet in height; off to the left a faint glow in the sky reflecting the lights of the town; everywhere else complete, impenetrable darkness. He knew there was a handrail running along by the side of the track for the safety of men and mules. He felt for it, grasped it and touching it as he went he made still greater haste. He almost ran. "My dear sir," said the optician, hastily replacing the tray of spectacles in the showcase, "if you want something to enable you to see the lamps in a Chicago suburban train this is the only thing we have that will fill the bilL" When I first came to New York a friend of mine who is in the furniture business asked me if I had ever met Bob Ingersoll. I said I had not, though I had read quite a number of his pieces in the paper, from which I had gathered that he was a little bit inclined to liberality in religious matters and quite an iconoclast in regards to a self-supporting hell. Til at fit Is Gone. "What was that?" asked Jep in a whisper. We all miss the lost forever 8, and the fashioning of the 9 comes not easily to our pens and pencils. For ten years the double 8 has been with us, and millions of pens had learned to lovi-.gly trace these twin compounds of lusy flowing curvcs. And now, though lost to sight, the departed twin is dear to memory, and tens of thousands find themselves instinctively tracing the useless numeral in the place where the brand new 9 should be. And in another decade the surviving 8 will pass away to poin its fellow among the shades of oblivion.— Pittsburg Bulletin. In case of rain the awnings are lowered and tarpaulins are spread over the furniture, which is thus protected.—New York Tribune. "Oh, no mon knows what the noises be. I hear 'em every night. No harm comes o' 'em." And he lifted out a four foot telescope —Chicago Tribune. Telephoning on Board Train*. He picked up his lantern nevertheless, and they went up into the screen room and looked about, but finding nothing out of place they soon came back again. A Mean Sell. I had never heard him lecture or even sean him in my life, so I was anxious to see him and hear him talk. My friend said he would take pleasure in introducing me some time, for Bob would like real well to see me also, as he had so expressed himself. Another electrical device has been brought out to afford communication between trains in motion and to prevent aocidents. Batteries and the necessary connections are placed on each engine, a central conductor being laid parallel with th« rails. Should two trains approach within a certain distance of each other, an alarm is sounded within each cab with an electric gong and a steam whistle is set blowing. The engine drivers can stop the train and communicate by telephone. This communication can be effected when the traini are either running or still. An automatic signal is also given if a switch is misplaced or a bridge burned or washed away. Additional batteries are placed at the stations along the road, and these work the alarm should those placed on the engine becom* broken.—Chicago Herald. j  De Briggs—What are ;you trying U Suddenly he stopped, with a new fear striking in upon his heart. He renembered that the company had tajteo 'cessation of work al \ new trestle here at snew that it was nol d that over the new Later on Jep grew sleepy. "Lay down on the bench an' s'ut your eyes an' go to sleep like a man," Mtfl Jep's father, "an' don't be noddin' your head off." Within five minutes from the time Jep laid his head on the rude pillow be was fast asleep. . An hour later lie was awakened by a noU*. It sounded as if men were scuffling Just outside the door and as if some one was trying to shout. „ Jep raised himself to his elbow and looked across the room. The lantern was still standing on the engineer's bvuui, out lift father -was nowhere In Should a Warden Be a Christian? Ia England a church warden is not always a member of the English church. And now the question has arisen whether a church Warden need necessarily be a believer in Christianity. Mr. Bricknell, who has been chosen church warden for tho third time at Evenlode, in Worcestershire, before each election avowed his disbelief in Christianity, notwithstanding which tho parishioners unanimously elected him. The church authorities have the point under consideration.—New York Tribune. .advantage of the the fmues to buila the  yet coin plated, at part there* was on So one day, on a street car, my friend rose np suddenly and said, "There he ii now, and he is going to get aboard!" Sure enough the man got on our car, and it was but the work of a moment to introduce us to each other. We rode from away up on Madison avenue to near Canal Btreet, where he got off, and wt talked freely on various matters during that time. I asked him if he had seen any reason to change or modify his religious views during the past year or so, and he said he certainly had not. HC was still, he hoped, a consistent Presbyterian and living up to the best of hii lights. I inquired if he still retained his belief as to the impracticability of maintaining a paying system of international and eternal punishment. He said he had never had any fears or doubts concerning the profitable and permanent existence of such an institution, and saw nc reason for changing his belief regarding it. A. Snake Bock. l'leuty to love. There is a rock in a lot near William Van Fleet's farmhouse, at May's Clearing, which becomes an object of general interest as spring approaches. It is a fissured rock about twelve feet long and rising three feet above the surface. The fissures are perpendicular, and evidently lead down the rock as far as it goes beneath the ground. The rock is not more than ten rods from Van Fleet's house, and the same distance from the public road. For twenty years or more it has been known as the snake rock. Jn April, 1870, a man who worked for Van Fleet was passing close to the big stone, when he saw a snake coming slowly out of one of the crevioes. It was what is known as the milk snake. While the man was watching the snake other snakes began to appear at different crevice* until he counted forty. There were black snakes, blowing adders and common striped snakes. The hired man went back to the house and got Van Fleet, and the two remained by the rock until they had killed 200 snakes. ily a line of n&mro planks laid on the bents for men tc walk on. lie thought he must be neai that portion now. Indeed, the nexC step might bring him to the end of the platform; another might plunge him into the depths. Charles—You are pretty deeply in love with Miss Laker, aren't you, old fellow? Augustus (rapturously)—I very ground she walks on! "Can't you express your love any better than that?* love the "Oh, Alick is the princess. Bat don't yon think yourself, as between man and do, He pushed his foot cautiously lor ward; it needed but a space of three feet to verify this fear. From that point on there was only the narrow path of plank above the dizzy height, a path which none but builders and sail ore would liave dared to venture on in the broad light of day. Gibbtf GHbba—New trick. Trying to drop that copper off my noae into the funnel. De Briggs—Huh! That's easy. Lemme try it. mail, that monarching, like everything else, can be overdone?" "Not vorj much. You see, she's a Chicago girl."—Lawrence American. William H. Seward. Running Without Legs. Mr. Seward was undeniably a great statesman. A prominent abolitionist, he was never bitter against the people of the south. He was above the littleness that characterized so many others on his side of the senate, and, though he first gave utterance to the sentiment that there was an irrepressible conflict between freedom and slavery, and that the continent must either become free or slave, he never countenanced the excesses of speech nor the threats which some even of the wisest of the Republicans indulged in. I have often wondered at the ability oi the human body to adapt itself to conditions under which it is obliged to exist. The most remarkable example of this is a little boy about 8 years old, living neaz Twentieth street and Washington avenue. In some manner, probably by the railway running up that avenue, he has lost both his legs just above the knee, and it is remarkable with what ease he can walk, and even run. I watched him playing the other day with some companions, and except for a slight awkwardness he got around as easily as his entire legged playmates. To look at his face, bright and happy, flushed with his exertions, one could hardly realize the loss the little fellow had met with; certainly he did not seem to mind it much. - Philadelphia Times. I said it could, and that if I could have my way there wouldn't be any of it "A nice little nincompoop can always be »Cjuna ready to row orw a I, "and it's just as well for the people to choose him and then change him When they get tired of him. People like to have even their nincompoops changed once in a while." A Slight Lack of Confluence. Vuice from Above—Who is it? He was just about to get down from the bench when the outer door of the engine room was opened and two men entered. They were strangers to Jep and they looked rough and desperate. "He'll keep a still tongue in his head for awhile," said one of them. "Did ye kill him, Jerry?" asked the other. "If I didn't he'll not wake soon. Give me the lantern and we'll go fix the pump man." He seized the lantern and started out of the door. But his companion did T*e E '.neb n Servant—'Tis a gintlemon wid a subscription list, on' he says he do be a mimber av the Society av Charitable Frinds av Humanity, sort But Jep had no hesitate. His pursuers were even jpow crossing on the gate that covered the mouth oi the shaft. They had marked his progress and were hot upon his track. The limit of their lantern flashed out and revealed him to their eyes. Voice from Above—Bring my overcoat and umbrellas up here, and then unchain the door and admit him, and say I'll be down directly!—-Puck. The prince when he dresses up wean a short tail scarlet coat with a white leather Sinch to it, and looks like a rib roast with a twine string around it. He was a philosophic thinker, and as such realized the irreconcilability of slavery to the growing conditions of the republic. Even when civil war was inevitable Mr. Seward was opposed to fomenting it, and did all he could to check the progress of events to hostility in a spirit of fraternal compromise. And this feeling remained with him throughout the conflict, so that after the war he was ready to do all he could to make a real peace by sea ondiqg the policy of Mr. Johnson of restoration and not reconstruction, which had also been the declared policy of President Lincoln. Mr. Seward been much overlooked in the hurry of events since his death, but when the history of his time comes to be written Lis figure will be an Important one in it and l4f abilities surely find a conspicuous place.—Memphis (Tenn.) Commercial. All through that month snakes kept coming out of the rock and over 500 were killed How many got away was not known, but there must have been quite a number, for the next spring the rock yielded just as man; more that had gone there to hibernate anci winter over. The saake bearing rock became locally famous in time, and for years, as soon as the weather begins to get warm in the spring, farmers and others come to Van Fleet's lot from miles around to see the snakes come out, and to have a hand in killing them. He was rather crisp and tart in his replies, I thought, and so I apologized for speaking to him so plainly, but said 1 hoped I had given him no offense, as I had always understood that he was extremely liberal regarding a hell. Not Much of a Hero. William Lightfoot Visscher is a newspaper man perhaps 46 years of age, and though 1 aia not reminded of him, especially by the Prince of Wales, yet Visscher is so generally known among newspaper men from New York to Paget sound that I venture to speak of him here as a popular candidate for prince as soon as Russell Harrison's term expires. Visscher is peculiarly sensitive about his nose, and that is why 1 do not speak of it here. It is a bright, Italian sunset nose, which does him a cruel injustice, for it is not really an alcoholic bogle, though frequently mistaken for one by strangers. It has done him ipuch in- American Traveler (on his first visit to European city)—-Who is that man in the carriage that everybody's running to see? "There he is!" cried the foremost. "D'ye mind 'im? A bit of a brat not worth chasm', but 111 have 'im now ii it takes the life o' me I" Native (proudly)—That is the king. American Traveler (disappointed)— Shucks! Is that all he is? I thought maybe he was some fellow that had just hung a jury.—Chicago Tribune. "I am," said he. "Liberal is no name for it. No one can ever charge me with having been parsimonious In this matter. I have no shadow of a doubt about the existence of a place of eternal punishment, and I am that liberal regarding it that no disbeliever has ever been turned empty handed away from my door." Preferred Her Quiet. not follow him. "Come on!" he continued, turning goin'?" :cd the other, "I'm! not. I'd be a fooi to show "It's a pretty run he's give as any way,' panted the other. "Catch 1m, Jerry; give it to 'iin Drop 'im over the trestle!" riggs .) —Puck. Painter—I assure you, my dear sir, the portrait of your wife will turn out a speaking likeness. b»ek; re yo, "Ku!" roplii. fie kno\73 we. Biyseif to him.' "Stay where htm alone, " an Um TADished Bow He Judged Qrestneu. Only Oue. The rock has never failed to give up hundreds of snakes every spring, and the curious part of it is no one has ever yet been able to discover any going into the rock in the fall, although it has been closely watched When and how the great collection of snakes gets into the winter quarters in Van Fleet's rock is a mystery yet to be solved. It is supposed the serpents slip in at night when M CHM U watching.—New York Buu. Customer- freaking? Great heavens! can't that her. Utered?— Dor Schalk. Til® man with the lantern sprang forwarJ, while Jep, desperate with fear, dropped to his knees and crawled out upon the narrow plank, grasping the edges of it firmly as he went, lighted dimly for a moment on hi* Deriiotu Timmy Riley (pseping through the fence)—Golly, fellyi, guess who's shakm* hands wid Hike Kelly 1 President Haniton, or Tm a liar. Bingley—How well Cadsby and Sappy get along together now. They used to be at loggerheads, but now there seems to be an understanding between them. ye are then. I'll settle "In which yard did yon lqse the ball xnjfcoy?" "tfhfc one with the dog in."—New York &*■ ' 1 the man and the lan into the darkness and Jimmy Murphy (rapturously)—Jingo! Bnt mustn't de pres'dent feel proud!— Lawrence American "And are you still a radical and rabid Republican, first, last and all the time?" I iac&irad Miss Hauteur—Yes; I never supposed they had more than one altogether.— Lawrence American. , I ■ - . • • - '■