Pittston Gazette

              "*!*• [ Oldest NewsDaDer in the Wyoming Valley. PITTSTON, LUZERNE CO., PA., FRIDAY, JUNE 6, 1890. A WeeKly Local and Family Journal. For theQjxnmh jti uiey gave ineir smues to rar more dissolute though perhaps brighter minds. So I took him away awhile and let him see something of the world by allowing him to visit among the neighbors and see society a little. Then I brought him homo again, and one night colored him with diamond dyes so that he was a cox alimentary wnne you coma say scat. 'Lions killed and dressed while you wait,' was his advertisement. HE KNEW. ONE ON THE POLICEMAN. N3 CHOW. Awestruck Traveler*. ELECTROPLATING. ODDS AND ENDS. [Suggests-] by a letter from a friend saying, "after many years of ignoble bondage to the demoa of drink, 1 have drank my last glass, and am once more a free man."] "I Have Drank My Last Glass." Bit Order Wat fer Six Testimonials aad Urchins Mak* It Delightfully Lively for Joe Ileal 'ml act u;ion a keg Down to fiie groe'ry store, au throw One leg right over 'tother leg, An' mvear he'd never had no show; "Oh, bo," said Joe, "Hain't bed no show"— Then shift his quid to 'tother Jaw, An' ehaw, an' chaw, an' chaw, an' chaw. A curious phenomenon of nature was witnessed near here last night by the passengers on the north bonnd passenger train on the Houston and Texas Central, which passes this point at 2:25 a. m. It was in the form of a luminous orcb of a phosphoric or electrical character. Such phenomena are of frequent occurrence at sea, but are almost unheard of on land. The luminous mist was first observed by tb» engineer, when it was still several hundred yards ahead of the train, and thinking it a prairie fire, he slowed up, thus arousing the passengers, who, with the crew, crowded to the windows and on to the platform to look at the vast, hneless rainbow spanning the heavens. As the arch was more closely approached its dim, white radiance was seen to be clearly defined against the sky as though paLited there by the sweep of a brush dipped in white fire. The stars could seen shining close against the rim of it, and all around and under the arch. The shape, as near as could be guessed at, was half a mile in diameter, though it seemed gradually widening and was in form the ball of a perfect circle, one leg resting on ths earth, while the other appeared to have bean broken oil near the baso. "So he come out on the grounds and says 'Boys, it's about time to play balL We've stood about enough of this newspaper talk and inexpensive wind. I am a little feller and I ain't ashamed. And now if you will aid me by your applause you will see one of the best fights you ever saw.' That's What Ha Wanted. an Oflloer. Description of the Interesting Prooeis Andrew Carnegie's new hotel for worklogmen at Pittsburg will cost $300,000. The Holland society, of New York, keeping the memory of the early" Dutch settlers green by marking historic sites in New York city with appropriate tablets. An old sergeant belonging to the oolored troops stationed at Fort Bryan, N. M., and who is detailed as head gardener, was directed to furnish the quartermaster with a list of garden tools wanted far the coming season. On the fallowing day the list was handed in and taken up by the quartermaster, who was somewhat puzzled over an item of "six testimonials." Never having heard of such a tool the old sergeant was sent for to explain. Pointing to the item, the quartermaster asked what it was. "Cheese it, cully, de cop." Electroplating was formerly done by oovering the metal to be gilt with gold leaf by hand, or with an amalgam of gold and mercury, and then volatilizing the latter metal, and the same process was employed in silvering. In 1803 Bruguatelli succeeded C in gilding the baser metals by means of a galvanic current, but the first to make the process a success was the chemist De La Riva, and it has since been greatly improved by later investigators. and Its Modern Improvement*. If a person had been near enough to a crowd of about a dozen street urchins at a dark corner near One Hundred and Sixty-fifth street and Third avenue, in the annexed district, the other night, he would have heard the above sentence uttered in a stage whisper, and he would have seen the dozen "kids," as the policemen call them, scramble out of sight and secrete themselves in doorways or behind any convenient object that presents itself, so that in less time than it takes to tell it not one of the urchins was in sight. I have drank my las' glan, lam once more a freeman; I have aworn ne'er to touch the Tile poison again ; beautiful scarlet. His name was Sumner. a I took Sumner the following morning and turned him loose among his old neighbors. Surprise was written on every face. He realized his advantage, ana tne nrst tmng ne axa was to greet the astonished crowd with a guttural remark, which made them jump. He then stepped over to a hated riVal and ate off about fifteen cents' worth of his large, red, pompadour comb. He now remarked in a courteous way to a small Poland China hen, who seemed to be at the head of all works of social improvement, that we were having rather a backward spring. Then he picked out the eye of another rival, much to his surprise, and went on with the conversation. By noon the bright scarlet rooster owned the town. Those who had picked on him before had now gone to the hosflfital, and practically the social world was his. He got so stuck up that he crowed whenever the conversation lagged and was too proud to eat a worm that was not right off the ice. I never saw prosperity knock the sense out of a rooster so soon. He lost my sympathy at once, and I resolved to let him carve out his own career as best he might. Gradually hiq tail feathers grew gray and faded, but he wore his head high. He was arrogant and made the hens go worming for his breakfast by daylight. Then he would get mad at the food and be real hateful and step on the little chickens with his great big feet. He said ho got no start in life, Didn't git no money from his dad. The wash in1 took in by his wife Earned all the funds he ever had; "Oh, no," said Joe, "Hain't hed no show"— An' then he'd look up at the clock. An' talk, an' talk, an' talk, an' talk. The papers are full of accounts of a silver center piece which is being .manufactured for the queen, and which contains 2,000 ounces of silver. As there is already plate at Windsor castle valued at upwards of two millions, it is difficult to conceive what the queen can want with another center piece. After fighting, for years, this insatiable damoa, The struggle to conquer baa not baan in vain. Oh toueh not the poison, that robs you of manhood."With that Goliath, a big coarse feller with whiskers like a load o' hay, sails out and laughs a long, coarse, Norman laugh that shakes the winders in the court house and says, 'O mamma! Look at his Id diets! Shall we spank him, gents, and send him back to the primary school, or feed him to the coyotes?" Of friendship, of virtue, and muddles the Ma'-.es iws and orphans, and Alls up ou "I've waited twenty year—le's see  Yes, twenty-four, an' never struck, Altho' I've sot roun' patiently. The fust tarnashion streak er luck. "Oh, no," said Joe, "Hain't hed no show"— Then stuck like mucilage to the spot, An' sot, an' sot, an' sot, an' sot. The process depends upon the peculiar power which the voltaic current possesses of separating certain compound bodies into their constituent parts. For Instance, if a current from a voltaic battery is passed by means of platinum electrodes through water to which sulphuric acid has been added, this chemical separation, which is called electrolysis, will take place, the water being resolved into its constituent gases, oxygen hydrogen. The important work of draining the Roman marshes, on which the Italian government has been engaged since 1884, is how well advanced toward completion. Tfce work can only be carried on at certain seasons of the year, owing to the unhealthiness of the district. And squander* the weal h which cost years to obtain. v i "Dem am testimonials," the sergeant replied. They scrambled to their retreat like a lot of rats. Just as the last one disappeared the blue coat and brass buttons of a big policeman appeared under the gas lamp on the corner below. In the ditch at the spot where the youths had been standing the outlines of a form, apparently a man lying at full length, either dead or drunk, could be indistinctly seen in the gloom. "Dave says: 'Goli, I ain't no match fer you in size, but you are a Universalist and I'm puttin' my belief agin' yourn this day. If I put you to sleep, we gather in your camp and pile up the back charges on our pension roll. If you do me up, you get indorsement from foreign powers and have fun with the Israelites. And now, when you're ready, say bo, you low, coarse thing. Put up your dooks,' sez he, 'and damaged be him that first hollers enough!' he sez, coatin' from Shakespeare, for Dave was a great reader, and could coat from all the poets for hours at a time, whereas Goli was a chump, besides bein' a free thinker. "But there is no such tool," the quartermaster said. It cost me a friend—the be4, and the bravest; He was honor»d by all, not excepting his foee; "Oh, yes," replied the sergeant. "Dat's de name what de catalogue specerfies." "Bring me the catalogue." A few moments later the sergeant returned, a big twinkle of satisfaction lighting up Ids coal black countenance. With a step full of confidence he walked up to the quartermaster's desk; opened the catalogue, placed his finger on the illustration at the tool in question and *aid« "Da's de 1001," and turning over to the next page, "da's de name—testi- He was seized by this demon, anl sleeps in the graveyard- No stoae mack-) the plaoa of hi % dreamle-ts repore."I've come down regerler ever' day For twenty years to Piper's store; I've sot here in a patient way, Say, hain't I, Piperf' Piper swore, "I tell ye, Joe, Yer hain't no show, Yer too dern' patient"— ther hull raft Jest laffed, an' laffed, an' laffed, an1 laffed. —8. W. Foes in Yankee Blade. A lady went to one of the groceries in Wildwood, Fla., and bought two pounds of butter that had been bought in the country by the merchant. When the nice yellow lump was cut in two, there was found in the center of it a large Irish potato, nicely peeled and carefully covered over with butter. To free the poor negro from bondage Inhuman, Cjst millions of money, and thou aid * of Uvea; Yet a bondage mors iafamou*. horrij and cruel, Now curses our nation, and fearlessly thrives. The arch rose directly over the track, and as the train approached it seemed to gather a quicker tincture of luster, as of the diamond or some clear, glittering star, though it threw no gleam upon the air beyond its own initiation, as could be roen by the stars shining ia close proximity to It. When the train pamd Now, if some sulphate of copper is thrown into the liquid electrolysis will still go on with a double result—the water will be separated into its elements, and the hydrogen, by its stronger affinity, will form a new compound with the sulphur in the sulphate, setting the copper free, and the .liberated copper, being electro positive in character, will be deposited on the plat- In mM electrode, which is negative. On this general principle the proem of electroplating or electrotyping depends, and its art consists in applying the metals thus released from their solutions to artistic and useful purposes. The solutions generally employed as electrotypes from which to separate gold and silver respectively are those of the argento cyanide and the auro cyanide of potassium. These compounds are what are known to chemists as double salts; .that is, while cyanide of potassium is simply a compound of potassium and cyanogen, argento cyanide of potassium is cyanide of silver combined with cyanide of potassium. When a solution of this double salt is subjected to the action of electricity, silver appears at one electrode and cyanogen at the other, while the cyanide of potassium, from which the other salt had been thus separated, reappears in the solution. It is the negative electrode which takes the silver, and if, therefore, the positive electrode is made of silver, the liberated cyanogen combines with it, forming cyanide of silver, which, by uniting with the liberated cyanide of potassium, keeps the strength of the solution to the proper degree. The apparatus used is an outer vessel of glass or earthenware, in which is a smaller vessel of biscuit ware or other porous material. The guardian of the night came leisurely along, swinging his long night stick and casually glancing about to see that everything was all right. Arriving opposite the form he stopped, looked at the object twice to that his eyes did not deceive him and then he muttered: The favorite flower for the buttonhole is, perhaps, the carnation. It is a cheerful little blossom that lasts for days with its stem in a glass of water, and smiles frankly and contentedly all day long when thrust in a buttonhole and uncheered by a drop of moisture. "Mr. Splitsides," said the managing •ditor, "when I engaged your services /or The Blowgun it was with the idea that you were to run a humorous column, was it not?" Tlio Boas' Joke. To the young, and to all who a-a free from thli habit, directly under the bridge of light, the 80 useless, that robs you of money, and time— moniaLn rounding country spanned by it The quartermaster "caught on." The illustration represented a newly patented weed hoer, and immediately following, on the opposite page, came several testimonials ss to its usefulness, etc.; the word testimonial, heading each paragraph, being in large type, which the sergeant naturally concluded was the name ol the tool illustrated on the other page. Of course the quartermaster, being convinced, informed the sergeant that he should have the testimonials, and the old man departed highly pleased with himself and his knowledge of garden tools.— Detroit Free Press. "If that man's not stiff to-morrow me name's not Dennis"  plainly visible, appearing to be bathed in Avoid the vile staff, and the evils which follow, And win, for your courage, a naim most sublime."Well, time was called. They blowed on some sackbnts and such things and in they sailed. Before Goli could get his bread hooks on Dave the thing was over. Dave jerked a rock at him and it clave his skull, as the Bible goes on to state. Several of his favorite brains oozed out and left him nothing to think with. See? "Yes, sir," replied the funny man, trembling, "and I have tried to do my best." A curious feature of the luminosity was tbat while it gave all objects a weird, unreal aspect, the shadows which it caused them to throw were black and as clearly defined as silhouettes. In a lew minutes after the traia passed under thC* arch it seemed to facte away, melting gradually into the starlit sky. The night, as wiL' be remembered, was fair and fogless. Them was no moon, so the arch must have been self luminous.—Hearne (Tex.) Dispatch in Atlanta Constitution. moonlight. Howardsville, Colo., has a curiosity in the shape of an ice mine. The mine is owned by parties who in the earlier-days ran a tunnel through the frozen ground and struck a spring beyond. As the water flows out of the tunnel it freezes, and the tunnel is now filled nearly to the roof with pure ice. It has long supplied ice for the town, and never thaws, winter or summer. West Pittston, Hay, 1890. Gsant P. Bobixsom Then he stepped from the curb so that he stood near to the prostrate man. "Git up out o' that," he ejaculated, in a foggy voice that would have awakened Rip Van Winkle before his sleep was half over. "Of course, of course! And I told you that I wanted you to give us a good assortment of nonsense?" NYE GIVES SOME FACTS. "Yes, sir." The form showed no signs of life, and a No. 11 boot emphasized another command to get up. The result was the same. The officer then reached down and took hold of the man's coat collar and braced himself for a heavy pull. He pulled, and he sat right down on the curbstone, so heavily that he saw stars. "And I said that I didn't care if it was sheer nonsense, too, didn't I?" RELATING CHIEFLY TO THE GREAT "So down went Goliath to the bottom of the wall, as the poet gets it off, and Dave takes his pelt home to show that he's the lalla, yon bet yon, and he got the stakes. Also the tenderloin and a little of the dark meat, and he prospered till the cows come home, and Dave could have been county clerk if he'd of just said the word. HEN RAISING INDUSTRY. But as his new feathers began to come in folks got on to him, as Justinian has it, and the other roosters began to brighten up and also blow up their biceps muscles. "Yes, sir," replied the puzzled funny man, wondering what on earth the editor was driving at, "you did." The London Zoological society possesses a white peacock The bird preserves the markings which distinguish the species, particularly the large eyelike spots on the tail feathers. The effect of these spots is remarkable. They are exactly like the pattern on a damask tablecloth. Three Parallel Stories. A Koonter Who Achieved Wonder* While Sailing Under Falae Colon—Why the Celebrated Nye Mustache Wan Sacrifice—Goliath'* Downfall Described. "But," said the manager, gazing piercedly into the face of his astonished servant, "I didn't tell you that I wanted shear nonsense, did I? Eh? What?" Julius Caesar, when landing on the coast of Africa, stumbled as he leaped from his boat and fell. To disabuse the minds of bis soldiers of the superstitious impression the accidcnt might otherwise have produced, he immediately exclaimed: "Thus, land of Africa, I take possession of thee!" Words almost exactly similar have been put by the chroniclers into tho mouths of two of our mediaeval heroes. One day he was especially mean at breakfast. A large fat worm, brought to him by the flower of his harem, had a slight gamey flavor, ho seemed to think, and so he got mad and bit several chickens with his great coarse beak and stepped on some more and made a perfect show of himself. "Be careful, sir!" exclaimed a patrolman to a man who was speeding his horse on Cass avenue. Ho WuM a Favor. At the same instant a dozen shrill yells of derision, such as only street Arabs can give vent to, broke upon the stillness of the night, and a dozen forms darted out of doorways and disappeared in the darkness. The policeman examined the straw man, for that was what it was, and found that a sandbag had been placed at the spot where he was most likely to kick, and where, in fact, he did kick. Then he got up, turned the form over and walked along, muttering: Last year the world raked 2,000,000,000 bushels of wheat. The United States grew 490,000,000 bushels; France. 806,000,000; India, 287,000,000; Russia (with Poland), 800,- 000,000; Portugal, 9,000,000; Denmark, 5,000,- 000; Spain, 73,000,000; Switzerland, 2,500,000; Germany, 84,000,000; Hungary, 95,000,000; Asia Minor, 37,000,000; Persia, 22,000,000. Obstinate nose bleeding is frequently one of the most difficult things to check. Several aggravated cases have lately occurred at the hospital of the University of Pennsylvania. As a last resort Dr. D. Hayea Agnew tried ham fat with great result. Two large cylinders of bacon were forced wall into the nostrils and the hemorrhage teased at once. A remarkable surgical opera* performed recently near Red C week ago a 14-year-old son of was shot by a hired man wi* revolver, the ball passing in* and catting the intestine- He was placed under the' the intestines removed up. He may live. [Copyright by Edgar W. Nye.] " But they don't run scrappin' into politics now as they used to. Ton should learn from this story that if you are right you will have no trouble in knockin' out sin with a moss agate; but if you ain't right, you might be as big as the Statue of Liberty and your name would still be Dennis. We will sing now, and then I wisht you'd go home quietly and think over this yarn, and say what you mean and then stick to it. Goliath was a good rink attraction, but he couldn't always deliver the goods he advertised. And now go home, boys. Do right, and if any man interferes knock him over the ropes and the band will play Annio Laurie." Then he paused, waiting for the funny man to grasp the great idea, and when at last he saw that it had sunk into his brain, the editor said, "You may use that joke, Mr. Splitsides, in your humorous column to-morrow. Good sir!" —Lawrence American. The following inquiries and replies have been awaiting publication and I shall use them this week, reserving the western tour and Puget sound lettertftill a later date if the reader will not object I do not care* to keep correspondents waiting too long for fear that they will get tired and fail to write me in the future when they want to know anything. Mr. Earnest Pendergast writes from Payallup as follows: "What for?" asked the driver as ha pulled up. "HI have you up for fast driving." "What is fast driving?" At this moment a small bantam wearing one eye still in mourning danced up and kicked Sumner's eye ont. Then another rival knocked the stuffing for a whole sofa pillow ont of Sumner and retired. By this time the surprised and gratified hens stepped back and gave the boys a chance. The bantam now put on his trim little telegraph climbers and, going up Mr. Sumner's powerful frame at about four jumps, he put in some repairs on the giant's features, presented his bill and returned. By 9 o'clock Sumner didn't have features enough left for a Sunday paper. He looked as if he had been through the elevated station at City hall and Brooklyn bridge. He looked up sadly at me with his one eye as who should say, "Have you got any more of that there red paint left?" But I shook my head at him and he went away into a little patch of catnip and stayed there four days. After that you could get that rooster to do anything for you—except lay. He was gentle to a fault. He would run errands for those hens and turn an ice cream freezer for them all day on lawn festival days while others were gay. He never murmured nor repined. He was kind to the little chickens and often spoke to them about the general advantages of humility. "Why, over six miles an hour." When "William the Conqueror,, disembarking in the Bay of Pevensey, descended from his great galley, the Mora, he missed his footing, and fell forward with both bands on thu ground. Immediately his soldiers sent up a despairing cry of "God help ns! God preserve us! This is a fatal sign." But William, with his usual presence of mind, exclaimed as he sprang tc his feet: "Par la resplendar De! By the splendor of God, what nils you? I have taken seisin of this land with my two hands, and so much as there is of it shall be yours." The ready reply greatly cheered his soldiers, one of irhom, rushing forward, plucked aome thatch from a cottage roof and placed it in tho duke's bands as seisin of England and all within its oorders. "I occept it," said William, "and nay God bo "»Ith us!" "Say, old fellow, take me to court, won't you? If you will only get it into the papers that this hoes was going over four miles an hour I can sell him for $40. If you will m try and help you some time."—Detroit Free Press. How K1m Tallormade Beat a Regulation. The Conductor (taking her fare)— "Them pesky kids I"—New York Tribune.In the smaller vessel is placed the sulphuric acid, with a plate of amalgamated nine. The cyanide solution is in the outer vessel, and in it is suspended the object to be silvered or gilded, which is connected by a wire with the sine in the cell to convey the galvanic current. The strength of this current must be regulated; if the acid is very powerful the electricity developed will be more than sufficient to release the metal, and hydrogen will be evolved, which will interfere with the plating process. To carry on electroplating on a large scale oblong vats are used, which may hold 200 gallons of solution. "Why do you not try to improve your appearance more? I think you could if you would, and we would all be so glad. Ton either have a very malicious artist, or else your features must pain yon a good deal at times. Why don't you grow a mustache?" Alderman Finnegan—Jamesy, my bye, ran oyer to the crockery store an' git two o' thim little things to kape spices in. We want thim for the bar. Jamesy—Yis, sor. Overheard at the Capital. It is odd how standards of criticism differ. A young man who was inspecting the signatures to the Declaration of Independence that hangs in the state department was heard to remark: Ia. 1 School was then dismissed. WUk/*}. Ml I I I'/ Hanf yyB fffll Alderman Finnegan—An', Jamesy, see that there is an "S" marked on ache of them. "Humph! If I had been some of these fellows, and couldn't write any better, rd have gone to a business colleger- Washington Poet. Jamesy—Yis sor, but phat for, sor? Alderman Finnegan—Bekase wan or thim is for salt an wan ov thim for cinnamon. Run along now loike a foine bye.—America. In 1340 Ei! wanl III landed atSainto Vaste, an the cor«t of Normandy, to undertake the campaiCrD which culminated in the great victory r.S Cressy, and drew from a similar acct ilejji a« equally prosperous augury. "Wher t\e fleet of the king of England/' said Froislart, "took ground in the Bay of La Hogue, and was all anchored on the sands, the king sprang from his ship, and as he put bis foot to earth fell so rudely that the blood flowed from his nose. Then his knights, who wen close at hand, surrounded him and Mid: 'Dear sir, return to your ship and do not land yet awhile, for this is a bad sign for you.' Whereupon the king replied: 'Nay, but it is a very good sign, for the earth desires me.' At this answer all were rejoiced."—Montreal Star. In gratitude for their _ the perils of the voyage in City of Paris, the ing, subscribed & and appointed a comi its application. It is  committee have decided to to the Seamen's hospital, L general purposes, and to e balance a bed in the same . sick. American sailors. GERMAN JOKES. An Amendment. Silver plates connected with a powerful voltaic battery are placed at intervals in the vats; they form the positive electrodes, and correspond in extent of surface with the articles to be coated, and face them on both sides. "Why, Clara, that's the very mantel I refused to buy for you because it was too dear." Cedric's mother was a New Yorker, but Cedric himself was born in Boston. "Cedric, you are a naughty boy; you want a licking," said she. , „ , Thim girls ia gittin' woorso an' woorse wid their shtyle. It's an illigant bale o' hay that miff wud make. as a Frogw la Ark BalUlaf. "Yes, 1 know, Charles, so I bought it myself in order to spare you the remorse you'd feel when you came to reflect on your unnatural obstinacy in the matter." ▲ visitor in the state, war and navy building yesterday, under the espionage of a watchman, was one of the beautiful models of war ships in the halls there. His guide was explaining with much enthusiasm, and he was lost in silent sdmiratkw. At last the visitor caught the name of the vessel. "No, mother," returned the child, bravely, "I may need chastisement, but I do not want it,"—Harper's Bazar. These articles—knives, forks, spoons, cruet frames, teapots, urns, etc.—act as the negative electrodes, are suspended by copper wires from brass rods laid lengthwise over the vata and connected with the battery. The articles are prepared for plating by being first boiled in strong lye, to free them from all grease; they are then quickly dipped in muriatic acid to remove any oxide that may have formed on the surface, and after this are well washed in water to remove every trace of the add. A considerable sum of enue is annually spent in corpses of wolves. The of that no fewer than 170,000 'at large Child's nurse (to her sweetheart as she hears her lady coming into the kitchen unexpectedly) —Hurry, August, begin playing with the children, quick. "Mamma," said Miss GHlton, "I have noticed a peculiar ring in Herbert's voice when he speaks to me." "Indeed? Observe carefully and see whether it bean any resemblance to an engagement ring."—Washington Post. An Iaqoliy. "Newark," he said to his guide. "Newark, eh? Well, she's a blamed sight nicer than the old one, aint she?"—Washington Star. After many yean of usefulness gunner one day thoughtlessly ate the remains of a salt mackerel, and pulling the drapery of his couch about him he lay down to pleasant dreams and life's fitful fever was over. His remains were given to a poor family in whom I take a great interest, frequently giving them many things for which I have no especial use. "Why, Anna," exclaims the mistress, "what is this I see?" of th I of the I was taking my usual afternoon plutfe la the salt water baths at ttae Produce Kxcbange the other day, said a broker friend yesterday, and was amusing myself watching the antics of a couple of small boys who were indulging in a sparring exhibition, of which their father was tbCj instigator and referee. They were start!/ little fellows, aged about 8 and 10 respectively, and were typical representatives of the New York boy of today. Among the other onlookers was a magnificent specimen of physical devalepmcnt, who, after applauding a particularly clever "counter" on the part of one of the lads, asked if bo could not come into the game. His challenge being promptly accepted by the smaller of the laughing pugilists, he plumped down on his kness and the combat began. Ha lilt Too Hard. "Oh, madam, you know the dear children were so anxious to have a soldier to play with that—you see—well, I went ont and got one for them." A Crowaiaf That Would Be Difficult. They are then dipped into a solution of mercury, and then washed in water again. The effect of the latter operation is to make the film of silver adhere more readily. The articles are then weighed and suspended in the eolation, and are left there until a sufficient amount of silver has been deposited upon them. Irish Doctor—Begorra, I've knocked the fever out of him. That is one good thing! Wife of Patient Oh, doctor, do yon think there is any hope? "Why, sir," exclaimed an enthusiastic member of a brass band, "we can play the most intricate airs on sight." Habit clothes are made and are constructed as to C the weight possible. This i Is something that womei avoid The fifteen and skirts which women havt with and which physic demned are judiciously du Wurstling, the poet, in an interview with one of his lady benefactors: 'Td like to hear you play the airs the dram major pats on," replied an unbelieving listener.—Munsey's Weekly. "I BAD A MUSTACHE ONCE." "And just imagine my horror, madam! Yesterday I caught my 8-year-old boy, Otto, tearing up a volume of my poems in a perfect frenzy of passion." These remarks, of course, are a little bit personal, Earnest, but still they show your goodness of heart. I fear that you are cursed with the fatal gift of beauty yourself and wish to%ive others go with you on the downward way. You ask -why I do not grow a mustache and I This should teach us that some people cannot stand prosperity, but need a little sorrow ever and anon to teach them where they belong. And oh, how the great world smiles when a rooster who has owned the ranch for a year or so and made himself odious gets spread out over the United States by a smaller one with less voice. Doctor—Small chance of that, marm; bat yell have the satisfaction of knowin' that he died cored.—Pick-Me-Up. Miss Tailormade (alighting)—Come on, Qillispie!—Judge. been burden ms have cc arded now. To Be Explained. "Ton do not believe in a fish diet, do you, professor?" "Certainly." This amount is tested by weight. If the additional weight is not gained in the expected time the article is pat in the solution again. When finally taken oat the articles are brushed with brashes of fine wire and cleansed with fine sand; they are then polished on revolving brashes with rotten stone, then with chamois leather and rouge, and lastly with the naked hand "You don't mean to say he can read?" There seems to be good: that the zebra is rapidly t Sportsmen and travelers ing that the zebra of Soul more and more difficult tC the aboriginal races of pri appearing before the man And, unlike "the noble i zebra has ever resolute tamed The Literary lib. The Attempt Abandoned. "Last night I had an awful queer dream. I saw the prettiest girl you ever"  Scrlpton—rm miserable, family rent doe, not a dollar in my pocket— and hero rm writing away without a hope of ever being paid for it It doesn't take a great while standing behind a pretty girl to get her cloak on —that is, not necessarily. Yet we have known of young men, stalwart, active young men, any one of whom could occupy five minutes in extending this little necessary courtesy. There are so many styles of occurrence in this world the secret of which lies concealed beneath a mountain of analysis that it is useless to pursue this subject further in single volume.—Merchant Traveler. "Then why do you say in your book on 'Health,' 'Do not go into the water after a hearty meal? "—New York Sun. frankly that it is for the public list-J do not I used to wear a "Ah, was she rich?" h of cii ivage,': _ »  and beautiful mustache, The study of the fowl is filled with interest. I keep fowls late years instead of a garden. Formerly my neighbors kept fowls and I kept the garden. It is better as it is. Amicus—Not ao bad as all that, I hope. What are you writing now? Scripton—An article on "Success in life."—Bostonian. The giant seemed to enjoy the fun, as he entered into the sport with the enthusiasm of a schoolboy. "Oh?" he cried, "you hit too hard," as the little fellow landed on hit jaw. Encouraged by the plaudits of the few onlookers, and gaining additional confidence from the evidently craven character of his antagonist, the young athlete went in for a knockout. A moment later, and all was over. The big fellow lay on bis ba&k crying for mercy, and the victor was rewarded with cheers. which was in society, and, He (shyly and romantically)—I wonder if I am going to be favored with a kiss? IH ask the flower oracle. * Well Named. The process of electrogUdingis essentially the same as that given above for silvering, substituting gold for silver.—Golden Days.  under the quiet stars and opportune cir cumstances, gave good satisfaction; but at last the hour came when I felt that 1 must decide between this long, silky mustache and soft boiled eggs, of which I am passionately fond. I hope that you understand my position, Earnest, and that I am studying the public welfare more than my own at all times. Cobwigger—Quack should be prosecuted for obtaining money under false pretenses. That nostrum of his is no good. In London alone there are upwai piano factories. Over 1,300 shops tones in the metropolis are devote supplying of musical goods of i Throughout the provinces there ar 8,000 music establishments of variov They possess in England no fev thirty-seven newspapers dealing ei ly with music. At the annual ba the Society of Musical Instrument facturers one of the speakers es that 00,000 pianofortes are manui every year in London. • The beefsteak dinner given by Stadler to the senate and the sen respondents in Albany, N. T., has talk of the town. No knives, fork or spoons were used, the guests usi fingers. The meat, selected for its ness and juiciness, was cut in delii appetizing strips, which were pli thinly cut slices of bread, which w urated with gravy, seasoned with butter and salt. Begins plucking the petals of a daisy. "Yes—no—yes—no—yea—no. Confound the Inch." Mertie Kersykes, Whatcom, Wash., writes as follows: "Dear Mr. Nye, does pugilists ever reform? They are so much brought into Contax with course natures that I do not see how they can ever, ever become good lives or become professors of religion. Do you know if Such is the case to the bestofjcour knowledge, and answer Soon in this paper, which we all road with Avidity, and so no more at Pleasant." ▲ Iwilirt to Um Chair. Man in Back Seat (rWagD-Mr. Chairman, I wish to move  Brown—Pshaw! Didn't he sell it to you as a skin cure?—Life. Nesting 1b Electric Light Globes. A new use has been discovered for electric light globes. The spring birds found that they make excellent places in which to build their nests, sheltered as is the inner space from tha winds and storms, and many a lively and lovely courtship may be seen almost any day by glancing at the top of the tall poles. The new comers perch upon the edges of the globes and peep and twitter to one another as they make their connubial arrangements. Then they may be seen bringing their twigs and bits of straw and twine preparatory to be- She (just loud enough for him to hear) —Why don't you start with "no" tat a change?—Fliegende Blaetter. Absent Minded Chairman—I've got several vacant flats Td like—beg pardon, Mr. Williams, what is your motion?— Chicago Tribune. Very Taking Wajr. Mrs. Fuss—I'm very sorry, Mr. Bent, that Charlie didn't suit you. He never did have very taking ways. Mr. Bent—Pardon me, madam, but it was his taking way that we could not stand.—Boston Herald. "This dust nuisance must damage you a great deal," he said to the grocer as he dodged into the door to let a great cloud roll by. On the Other Hand. Sassafras Oleson, of South Desdman, writes to know something of the care of fowls in the spring and summer. "Do you know," he asks, "anything of the best methods for feeding young chicks who may not get the proper nourishment from the mother? Is there any way to prevent hens from stealing their nests and sitting on inanimate objects? Tell us through the papers as tersely as possible what your own experience has been with hens." Took the Next. After a final plunge everybody dressed, and as the rivals again met at the cashier's desk one of the attaches came over to th« father of tho boys and said, in an awed whisper, "Do you know who that big man is, sir f "No," answered the gentleman, with a broad smile, "Who is heP' "Ah, ha!" he called as he stood waiting for a car, "didn't I tell you last winter that we'd have to pay for the warm"  Why Ho Walked. North Sider—I am awfully tired. Had to walk home again. "No, sir—no, sir," interrupted the other. "I met you almost every day last winter and you never said a word about the weather." ."Oh, no, sir. Anything added to maple sugar, primes, evaporated apples, etc., is paid for by the public at so much per pound. I am not doing any kicking."—Detroit Free Press. Wife—What was the matter? Cable broke? She Meant the Bothschllds. "Why, that's John L. Sullivan."—New York Star. North Sider—No, I was.—Chicago Inter Ocean. It was not a Boston young lady, but an aged colored woman, who was overheard to declare that there weren't manymen in this country as rich as the "Roths children."—Youth's Companion. ginning housekeeping A day or two later and the domicile is all ready for occupancy. One may see the nests from below through the ghus. The dear little fellows seem happy and contented, although they live in the full glare of light by day and by night. A bird's nest one expects to find hidden beneath a branch in some cool, shady spot and not in so conspicuous a place as this. But if the birds are happy there, it is to be hoped that the faithful employee of the electric light companies will not interfere with them.—Boston Advertiser. "Didn't I predict in February that we should have an unusually late"  "No, sir! I don't remember that you said any such thing." "Say, mamma, ain't we made of dustT "Yes, dear." "Well, why don't we get muddy when we drink?"—Yale Reoord. Why T Travis—Ha, ha! Look at Bloodgood. He has forgotten to put on his necktie. A Flowery Comparison. The most tedious customer for a salesman to come in contact with is a husband buying shoes for his wife. He comes into the store boldly and makes known his wants, but when it comes to picking out a pair of shoes that would suit he is unable to make a decision. He asks numerous foolish questions about the style, fit, price, etc., and in many ways shows his ignorance of what ids wife wears and his Incapacity for the task of buying women's shoes. In nearly every instance after the stock is pulled down and thoroughly examined, and a brief story told about each shoe, the husband-buying-his-wife's-shoes will draw back with a sigh, saying: "Oh! well, you know better than I, and suppose you pick me out a nice pair." This is easily done, and the shoes are sent out, but the salesman is certain to see them again. Women are often hard to please, and not many days will elapse before the wife is back to exchange the shoes, and the first trouble is almost gone over again. — Shoo Dealer in St. Louis Globe-Democrat Buying Women's Shoes. To speak tersely of the hen and her mission in life seems to me almost sacrilege. It is at least in poor taste. The hen and her works lie near to every true heart. She does much toward m*lring us better, and she don't care who knows it, either. Young chicks who have lost their mothers by death, and whose father* are of a shiftless and improvident nature, may be fed on koumiss, two parts; moxie, eight parts; distilled water, ten parts. Mix and administer till relief is obtained. Sometimes, however, the chick will readily nuree the guinea hen, and many lives have been saved in this way. Whether or not this plan will influence the voice of the rising hen is a question among henologists of the country which I will not attempt to answer. Hens who steal their nests are generally of a secretive nature and are more or leas social pariahs. A hen who will do this should be watched at all times and won back by kind words from the step she is about to take. Brute force will accomplish little. Logic also avails little at such a time but by striking at the foundations of hen society and showing her that it is honorable at all times to lay a good egg, and that as soon as she begins to be secretive and to seek to those who know and love her ahe at once takes a course which cannot end with honor to herself or her descendants."You don't! Didn't I say that we should"  "No, sir!" The Beaeon. De Smith—Sure enough! By the way, Travis, what flower does he remind you of in his present condition? Travis—Give it up. "Why do I speak of the 'susceptible' potato?"  "That's the point." "Because the potato is so easily mashed.—Harper's Bazar. Salmon from the Penobscot. The salmon are certainly here. A fix specimen weighing very nearly twent pounds was hooked Thursday by Mr. F. Ayer. The fish was a gamey one and a fu fledged specimen of a sea salmon. The 01 taken by Mr. E. A. Buck a few days ag had been up river on a spawning exped tion, but Mr. Buck got April 21 a twent; one and a half pounder, a genuine sea fisi It seems to have been a gala day for fishin at the dam. Six salmon were taken, thrt by Mr. Fred Ayer, one weighing twent; one pounds, another twenty pounds an one smaller; Mr. Buck's twenty-one an a half pounder; Mr. Lougee's and Mr. Joh Mahoney's eight and one-fourth pounder —Bangor (Me.) News. "Very well. Are you going down on this car?" . N. "I am." * \ Thoee Persuasive Ways. De Smith—The forget-me-knot.—Burlington Free Press. "Then I will take the next  Free Press. SUll Empty of All Save Air. Pleasant for John. Mrs. Plutus—John, I want you to take Fido for a walk on the avenue. John—If you please, mum, Fido won't follow me. Fill Up the Old Cistern. "Don't you remember me, ma'am?" said the emaciated tramp. "I stopped here last summer and mowed your lawn for you." Poor Fellow. An abandoned cistern is often a dangerous thing, and should be filled, as stagnant water which may remain in it is a common source of disease. If this cannot be done at once it is a good plan to throw in proper disinfectants and gradually fill it up with sifted coal ashes. While the cistern is being filled it may be covered, leaving only an aperture large enough to poor in ashes. It can be planted over with a rockery, both to conceal what it is and to draw attention to what might otherwise be a dangerous spot if covered by the grass. The most beautiful rockery the writer ever saw was planted over such a cistern. In villages where a common and permanent supply of water has been obtained from the mountains, such abandon- Mrs. Plutus—Well, then, you must follow Fido.—Exchange. "Why, you are not that magnificent tramp, that Hercules, to whom I gave my first loaf of bread?" "I am the same." Staid Awake to See. "I have nbt slept for a week, Tom." "Why?" ▲ LARGE WHITE DRACO HT ROOBTKR. Pugilists often reform, especially after they have been sufficiently punished and put to sleep. I knew one once who became the teacher of an infant class in Sabbath school. He was a great success, and his class the largest and brightest I ever saw in all my Sabbath school experience."What has worked such dreadful changes in so short a time?" "Your first loaf of bread, ma'am."— New York Swn. "I made a wager with my brother that I never snore, and I remained awake to find out whether I did or not."—Texas Sittings. Pcabody Homes In 1'arls. Prospective Tenant—What's that appliance for? Workmen's dwellings on the Peabody principle have been opened in Paris under the auspices of tbo Prince d'Arenburg and tip niemlDers of the Philanthropic society. Tbe funds for tlie purpose como froir. a legacy of £22,000 bequeathed to the "poor of Paris" by tho banker M. Armand Heine, who died a few years ago. The Philanthropic society ha* already t uilt a house with the money in the Rue Jeanne d'Arc, and the dwellings opened the other day are on the Boulevard de Crenelle, theapartmenteor "rooms" being rented at £10 to £14 a year, whereas some in the other tenements may be had at a rental of a It Takes Time. There is a law suit now in progress Oswego, because of a man 65 years o having refused to pay/or twenty yards cloth which was put down as "ditto." ] had no use for "ditto;" never bought an and didn't propose to be bulldozed, takes time to loarn all thene is to bo laa»C tn this world.—Detroit Free Press. Alas for Her Fame! Landlord—That belongs to Professor Zweigler, on the floor below. He bought a new bass horn, and, as his ceiling is low, I gave him permission to ran it through this floor. He practices only an hour a day, however.—Judge. The Brave Soldier Boy. Husband of Authoress—My dear, you are famous now! Your picture is in the newspaper. Hermia—Guess who it is papa? Mr. Grundles—Let me see. I've paid the milliner and the dressmaker and the jeweler. This must be the florist.— Puck. "The burglar alarm went off last night." "What did the colonel do?* "Got up and locked our bedroom door and came back to bed."—Racket. ed cisterns are not and have I heard him once tell his little boys the story of David and Goliath. He said: "Ton know Goliath had put up the dust a long time in the First Philistine National bank, and kept the offer good to knock out anybody or fight to a finish, any terms, with catch-as-catch-can provisions, for gate receipts; loser to get nuthin' but a quiet funeral and alow grave under the daisies. They fitin them days, boys, and these ornamental hippodrome scraps of our time was no good. A feller settled up his affairs and staid in the ring till they rung for the undertaker.(Authoress takes one glance, and bursts into tears.) been the cause of many accidents.—New York Tribune. d Husband—Why, my dear, what is the matter? The Penalty of Falsehood. au Right Up to the Present Time. Making Over Lace Dresses. Poisoning the Dying. An inquest held in Calcutta on the body of a wealthy Hindoo disclosed a curious custom. The deceased had suffered from malarial fever, and after his death arsenic and mercury were discovered ' stomach. A servant stated that u before the death of the deceased a do* medicine properly prescribed was admin, tered as a stimulant. The coroner explained that this medicine contained mercury, which along with other poisonous drugs is given to patients on the point of death. The jury returned a verdict of death from natural causes—to wit, malarial fever.— Exchange. Ruskin says that every woman should have several young men under consideration ot tho same time, any one of wbo.u she colli J marry if she chose, and (hat should keep them under o«-ssrvatlon for at least throe yesrs before venturing upon so momentous a decision as an engagement. Tornadoes Sine* 1870. Lieut. John P. Finley, of the sif vice, has compiled a statement of1 ber of tornadoes iu this count" last seventeen years. While in were onl v 9, the number has ir nually, the year 1886 having ed with 980. But since  befn a gradual decrease only 4£ having been tw eago Herald. Authoress—The horrid things have made me with a last year's bonnet onl— New York Sun. Making little ProfNM. Stranger (at door)—Is Mrs. Frippy in? Maid—Are you the man with the milliner's bill? "Are you keeping this store?" asked a customer who was tired of waiting. In ""vl"g over *lace gown, which has been unfortunate enough to be torn here - - . . * A. V- - ■» " George—Have you and wifle decided yet what to name baby? Jack—N-o, not quite; but the list of 860 names, which my wife picked out, has been reduced to 170. Dr there, Just remember that the place can )e sketchily darned and never show if it Is lone over a piece of Brussels net. This, of Bourse, supports the weak places In the laoe and necessitate* so few stitches that they look almost like part of the pattern. The lace costume just described is in perfectly good taste for ordinary wear, but the woman who wants to make one gown answer for many purposes is she who is wise enough to have two or possibly three bodices to wear with her black laoe costume. One may be of velvet and one of either moire or black gros grain, as is most becoming. So little decoration is put on lace skirta that the bodices are elaborately trimmed. The rows of ribbon about the skirts, which were so much liked last season, do not obtain at all this year. The one decoration which seems to be favored by the French modiste is a sash In the back, a sash that Is of venr broad ribbon and has both long loops ana ends.—Ladles' Home JsurnaL "Well, Tm doing my best. There have been sixteen or seventeen men that I owed money to trying to take it away from me, but' I'm keeping it up to date." —Washington Post. little over £0. The sanitary its in in Stranger (trying to lie his way in)— No. these cites »-ivrieres are much better than in other pari5 of Paris, where the working clusscs anil the utterly indigent live almost side by side, and in this important matter hints have been borrowed from the London dwellings erected under the terms of the Peabody trust. It is, in the meantime, devoutly to be hoped that the Societe Philanthropique will extend its operations to other malodorous metropolitan districts besides Urenelle, for such places as the Heights of Montmartre, Belleville and Menilmontant undoubtly would derive much hygienic benefit by the destruction of the "jerry built" and fever haunted tenements which are numerous in these localities and by the erection of mors solid aud salubrious dwellings in their it ext. —Paris Cor. London Telegraph. I have made the hen a study for many years, and love to watch her even yet as she resumes her toils on a falling market year after year, or seeks to hatch out a summer hotel by setting on a door knob. She interests and pteases me. Careful study of the hen convinces me that her low, retreating forehead is a true index to her limited reasoning facilities and lack of memory, ideality, imagination, calculation and spirituality, she is also deficient in her eaj Dv uent of liumor. Pared Hlmitlt Maid—Sorry, but she isn'trat home to any one else this morning. (Door slams.) ..kPimlr  George—Well, that's making progress anyhow. Jack—Y-e-«; but you see about half of the 800 names were for another kind of baby.—New York Weekly. A Natural Supposition. Ted—One of the dime museums advertises a Phantom Hen. Ned—What does she do? Ted--ICays ghosts, I suppose.—Life. Mr. Keene—I think the Browns must have come into some property lately. Mrs. Keene—What makes you think so? An Evidence of Prosperity. "Goliath was a blow, but he was the champion heavyweight, and so thty run it into politics and made it Goliath and his gang agin the Israelites. It was a queer case. The papers had a standing notice fer over a year offering most anything, see? fer a man that 'ud clean out Goliath a~td knock the head off him, but it was no go. The ImMites did well in taade, but th.-y rrr.s peaceable. They could sell goods and kick at u hotel, but they couldn't fight fer sour apples. "SMnallv Innar comes little Dave. His lather was in the sheep business and Dave had been in the habit of catching Valueless Labor. Cobwigger—Are you going to ship the things in that barrel? Mr. K.—Why they used to keep six dogs and now they keep only one.—Boston Courier. Brown—Yes, confound itt I spent an boor putting the head in it. "Mm wnn's biit littl) here b low." This is pD rt'mlirly truo of iredioin#', hp rehlly nicd* a virv imou't, provide ] he C.f Lu r»ir'-t fir. Pu rco'a IMleU Hil ihu hill in ro*pCc of •-'&), a-nl are stupendous in point I'frffoct v If tui desire immediate relief from h'al.ehp," liver complaint," indigestion, and coiDs ipation, they will not fail you.  I once owned a vrhite draught rooster who stood about seven high and had feet on him which would readily break down a whole corn if he walked through it Yet he l««m the courage of his convictions, and socially was not regarded as • suooafe Leading hens seemed to regard him as a good hearted rooster and seemed to lender that he did not get on better in a social way. He had a rich baritone vcioe and was a food provider, digging up large areas of garden and giving the hens left after be got through, and Cobwigger—Well, you shouldn't complain. You have done it very nicely. Brown—Yes, but I forgot to put the things inside.—New York Sun. "Tommy," said his favorite uncle, "you can never catch Rover. Stop chasing him, and tell me what you want for a birthday present." Not on Equal Equal Terms. Trembling Attendant (Eighteenth century) —Tour majesty, I somehow got a little scratch on your third best orowa. The Csar (furiously)—Off with his head. Careless Attendant (Nineteenth oentnry)— Your majesty, I fell and broke yoor majesty's magnificent gold and diamond crown all to pieces. Times Change. Mrs. Schmerz (at breakfast)—What was it you were muttering in yonr sleep last night, Galen—about "pairs" ana "three of a kind?" The Letter of the Law. "Oh," gasped Tomaiy, "just give me two hind legs and a tail!"—Puck. Porter—Ten cents for carrying in your baggage. Traveler—But I didn't have any bag- Miles' Nerve * Liver Pills, An Important disoovery. They act on the liv» r stomach and bowels through the nerves. A new principle. They speed ily cure biliousness, bad taste, torpid liver, piles and oonstipation. Splendid for men, women and children. Smallest, mildest, surest. 30 doses for 26 cents. Sample free at J. £L Houck's Drug Store. Avoiding Danger. It Omm (lowlr. i Tbm an NTtatrttrM dilnrent orden in tip United States whiok gin a man Itta inmanm, and laoda only nnowa how many regular oomaaeiw, and jaft only on* man in ■iz tbe country over wwn mat tamanmm. Dr. Schmerz— Um—ah! I met Dr. Flnsh while I waa out, and ha Ml ma some of his experiences withtwtas and triplets. Must have dreamed abont M —Puck i no ' *^Poirter—That's your lookout The rules say "collect tan cents lor carrying the hwe*," I wan* it.— Fliegende Miss Cute—Henry, please put on your gloves before you prune the grapevines; you might be bitten, you know. hons hy the tail and jerking their heads °ff before breakfast He also had a fashion of running his hand down the thn&t tit a Joyal Bengal tiger onct and »WfeiJean4 mfljjwcput hi« as her dwio- Henry—What by—grapew orms? Miss Onto—No. pa-apes. (Henry weeps.)—Ne;f York Hwatd. Trembling Cw—Ohl la thai all? I tetrad from the nolae it waa MMrtkar bomb —Saw York WeaJdj. .. w j lnl •If .-f :nrW jV* tl&'vK f ,«aarf } * armsk