Punxsutawney Spirit, 1891-03-11

              ♦ w  f ■pgr * »JL M • .>*r. ; til ls?x>' 1 A M > jft ■* w ('%%■ i : i V; , - NO 40 lCH 11, 1801. A IIOQB1 POLICEMAN. " o. CAMPBELL, A TTOBJtM T8-AT-LA W, DIBTMICT ATTORNEY, 0. BKNBCOTKR, BAM BY, A. CRAIG ATTOBNKT-AT-LA W, BKOOXVILLI, FA. 1> Opera Houie Blpck. Oct, l, 188*. Q. * 0. Z. GOn.iON, MORAL: " finally remarked a cigar, hi L I TNEY, PA., WEDNESDAY, J. THUWi, ' ATTOMm-AT-l4W, ' '•tttaOu'iMek " "•••Wteou- FOLLOW THE TIDE! IN FINE CLOTHING. A DELUGE OF'BARGAINS A TTOBHM T-A TLA W, , rmmitnr, pa. n BUyU MNt, two doon aortt at hnltmion. Clayton North, M with Jad*« Jaaki. L«f *1 ■MMM to? BMOcnua, Pa ▲BD ▲. CARMALT, ATTOBNXY-AT-LA W, BMomua, Pa la Mitm Bloek, oppnlta the pubU® * CLARK, A TTOBNX TS-A T-LA W, The Original and Popular One-Price Clothier, Is now prepared to show his friends and patrons the latest novelties in spring and summer clothing, hats caps, boots and shoes. Our Spring Stock is Arming Daily BMornLU, pa. * Is Mataon'* office, Mataon building, optka Oour' oo*e. "Imagine our mnazomout when we discovered .1 live catfish, which had grown ti> an enormous .-i/.e and length, and was so completely wedged in tlio hollow as lo ho iiniible to move except to open its nioutli and wiggle its (ail. Tlio fish was very lively and apparently in the enjoyment of excellent healtli. "Tho question is how did tlio lisli get into the log, as the only means i f ingross or egress we could discover was a hill a 11, round liolo 1101. more than two inches in diameter. Wo surmised that lie must have entered tlio liitlo opening when no larger than a minnow and grown great in his solitary confinement. " —[Chattanooga News. 4Ml uh i liiti ii r*fdt Tfto folio * .n-jj i* ivlntod by Frank Wyatt, of Ga.t wlio lias beeu visting relative-. nt Martiidale, on the CliattnnoogiC Rome and Columbus Rail•oad, about 30 miles south of C'hattaiiooga. Frank used to attend Sunday school regularly, and ii considered a truthful boy, without much mulliattonism flowing in his veins. He says: "My cousin owns a wnteruiill, and in reii.oving some obstructions found an inimeuso log imbedded in the stream, which must have been submerged for a number of years. The log hail to bo cut ill two to remove it, ami much to our surprise we found it hollow, although it hail every appearance of being solid. One of the negroes while examining the log looked int > the hollow and thought ho saw something moving. Ho began using his axe, and soon hail the log out into in another place. A TTOKNX T-A T-LA W MOT Fit. N.-W., Washington, D. C. lolng attorney In tbs MTeral eonrtaln urtoaand elaewhere. Proaeeatea claim* ill the Government Departmeata. Alao ekaae and aala of real eatate. 14-11 We have some grand surprises in store for our customers in nobby clothing. Stylish spring ovrcoats at pricos that can't be matched. Wo still have a beautiful line of medium and heavy weight overcoats that we will give you your choice at cost, not ten per cent, off, but at cost. JSieed an Overcoat. This is a Chance to Save Money if Yoti Armed with tins horrid into, J.unac repaired to tlie scene of tin* encounter, where, in tho prtS'iice pf the king, Ilenry II, and all the high officials of the kingdom, the two litigants were put faco to face. Chasteneraye, confident in his skill, pressed hotly upon the less experienced Jarnac, when,suddenly tlio latter, to the astonishm 'njt of the spectators, put in such a cut fas ha I never before been seen, and peverod the tendon of his enemy's jeft leg. Ail instant later, by u repetition of the same stroke, cut the sine\t of tho light one, and tho unfortunate d'hastenerayo fell ham strung to the earth. In this sore plight he still coiitiiincd upon his knees to make passes at hp antagonist, and to endeavor to carry pu tho combat. llis sword, however, Hvas quickly struck from his grasp, a>id |ie lay at tho mercy of his conqueror. Tho wily Jaruac was disposed, very much against the custom of the time, to grant liim hii life, but tho humiliation was too much for tho beatou and crippled man, and, refusing all assistance, he allowed himself to bleed to deatlk The "coup de Jarnac" in swordplay still remains as a memorial of this encounter. —[The Cornhill Magazine. I.» Coup da Jaraac. Chasteneraye mitl Jurnac, both  of France, lintl fallen out over the virtu# of the latter's mother in law. The king had interested himself in the \natter, and it Was finally settle*! that thd whole question should be referred to the arbitrameut of arms. A < it clmnced, Chasteneraye whs one of llio first swords* men of France, so that Jaruac exhausted his ingenuity in devising some abstruse and little known weapon, by means of wliich he mijclit be more on an equality with hit adversary. The names of 30 such arms were drawn up and submitted to the judges, who, howover, to Jarnac's despair, laid tlioni all aside and decided upon tlio sword. In hi* difficully he sought the advice of n tried old Ital an swordsman, who bade him to be of good heart, and confided to liim a secret trick of swordsmanship devised by himself and never before taught to mortal man. Brookville, Pa. ATTOBA Jtra- AT-LA W, yiiiidiw. two door* eaat of the Poat Office. Pomr*nTAwx»r, Fa t. W.F.BEYER, »MTSIOIAJf AND 8UB&S0N, "Groat General Rcotl! but if you don't Clear Out of this I'll liavo your Livoo, It's Worse than a Ilorso Fiddle!" "This little Matter can !io Easily Hottied," olwerved the Parrot after a 1110- ment's Thought "Let us go into tho Gaidou of tho Musician and Sing for liiin and leave it for him to Decide. " It being so Agreed, tho two llirda porchod themselves on a Limb near tho Musician's window and began their Songs. Each was trying his Bi.'st to Ercol tho other when tho Alarmed and Enraged Referee rushed out with a Club and exclaimed: "And if 1 had yours I'd go Sing to & Polo Cat" Tho M.'igplu mid lliii 1'itrro!. A magpie who was Chattering away at i Lively rale was Approached by a Parrot, who Sneoringly said: "What an Awful, awful Row| Aro you trying to Scare all the Children to Death?" "You are a nico Specimen to Sneer at my Music!" replied the indignant Magpie. "If I had your Voice I'd go hang myself!" B. C. ALLISON, »XT8IGIAN AND SUROXON, nmxnumr, Pa. i Ms seirloea to the people of Pun inland vicinity. In Cashmere, Corkscrew, Widewale, Cheviot, plain and fancy—all styles in Riverside and Fancy Worsted. To form any idea you will have to inspect our line for yourselves. MEN'S, BOr'S & CHILDREN'S CLOTHING Remember it is not what you earn that increaces your bank account, but what you save. Our highest ambition is to please our customers and give them the best goods for the least money possible. Our past year's business has surpassed any previous year in our business. Just as the acorn that starts the little twig that afterward makes the huge oak tree, so marvelous has been ttie growth and prosperity of our business. It would be an endless task for us to try to describe the many bargains we offer in our Vauity.uiul Boasting aro but a Thin Cover over one's Weaknesses.—[Detroit Free Press. MEN'S SUITS, $5 to $25. BOY'S SUITS, $2.50 to $18. CHILDREN'S SUITS, $1 to $8. I CHARLES G. ERNST, 'HT8I0IAN AND SUBOXON, PtrxnoTAwnrr, Pa. ormanently located In thla place, and of■•professional aerriees to tne eitisens of iolnlty. He may be fonnd at all times at Rno. corner of Habonlng and Fenn street, of Zcitler'a grocery. German langnage a. Member of Board >f Pension Bzaml- imply Can sorter anxiou " liver see o "Then what are you afraid of? "I isn't'fraid ot nuflin.' Ieo "1 kin so.) dat much, " was Iho ready reply. llin F-ither <«ot Iho Wrong End There was a big buzz hhw boxed up ami ready to go on shipboard at one of the South street wharves the other day, when a colored man was noticed walking around it, ami eyeing it with tho greatest interest. "It isu't running, shipping clerk. IMIIEItTS' DP-A.3STTS FONXflCTAWNKT, PA. IJ A, WALTER, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON " ' Who is it?' I whispered. "'Policeman 1' he gasped, his faco showing t'lat elephant skiu sort of a hue which a genuine African's faco dss'imes when he's really scared. "I ir. iitered something that you'd better not print; if the officer's visit meant tho notice of a raid, which wo sometimes got in a friendly way, or an order to close up for the night, why, up went our magnificent game. Besides, I disliked to let the stylish guests present feel that they had been jeopardized— bad future advertisement for the place. So I told the porter to give a hlutf to anybody who inquired about me in the room, nud I sli| ped outside to interview tho cop in tho dimly lighted vestibule. He was ono 1 could not remember as belonging in the neighborhood and that gave the visit a serious tinge. "What's up?" 1 asked nervously. "He smiled, and with a slight Irish accent replied: 'Oh, just nothing at all; yer needn't get yerself rallied iu tho least. The captain has the prisint of a Christmas check from sonio of tho big storekeepers in the ward, hut it didn't reach him until about an hour ago. He's going to Boston on the midnight train to spend Christmas and ho wants to take the cash with him, So ho sint me to ask you if you will oblige him with currency for it. lie's writ his name on the hack of it,' and the man handed mo A neat looking check, drawn for $250, bearing a leading merchant's name as signer and Captain 's indorsement. "1 can assure you tho explanation and request put a more cheerful color to tho aiTair. 1 lost no time in diving into my inside pocket and drawing out five crisp fifties. 1 handed I hem to the policeman, with the check as well. 'Tell the captain,' said I, 'I'm glad to accommodate 11iin, that he may return tho money at his own convenience, and that I prefer that lie should 1.0 cl the ch- clc, as his indorsement to mo might compromise liiin. This was diplomacy; would help to strengthen my pull; make things more solid See? "' All right,'" said lio, turning to go "Just Lefore 11 o'clock tliore came a ring for admittance. The port", peeped through tho slido and suddenly signaled me to go to him. "It was Christmas eve, and we had au awfully 'swell' crowd in the house. Give you the names? What do you take mo for? If there's 'honor among thieves' there should be at least decency among gamblers; no, no names. Well, I was saying we had as fine a blue chip racket as I ever saw spread. It beat old time Saratoga. Three or four of the party stacked right up to our $2,000 limit, and the gamo was making big money deal after deal. flaw a "Bank" Official Via Twf Cleverly KwlarffM. "When holiday times come aroitnd :I»y make me think of a clever swindle that was played on the'bank I was engaged in seveu or eight years a«o." It might be as well to mention the bet *hat the speaker was an ex-nmnager of a prominent faro bank which once existed near Broad w ay and 14th street.' "You pencil sliiiRers," continued he to the reporter, "don't hear about all the fly movements or ingenious operations of crooks. Here's a story I didn't give away at the time it happened. I was too much ashamed of myself to 'squeal.' HATS ! "'L'l 1)10 porlt-r brine; out a drink for yon, I Hi' decline! with 'thanlc ye, I ill n't want tlie old limn to smell liquor nil in . I' I liav (]»>u h lighted it "Ain! will vou ncknmvlodg-' that you now ant liim cloared ?" I do. "Yds, sir, " said tho judge. "You acknowledge, then, tliat nt 0110 timo you did want liim sent to prison?" "Well, I'd like to know tho reason of your change of opinion with regard to the defendant About a month ago I hoard you Bay that ho was a lit, and you hoped, a successful candidate for tho penitentiary, but now you urge thu jury to acquit him. " Ufa lleutioii* Were Good. John Featherstono was arrested for stealing a horse, and was placed under bonds to appear before the circuit court. Five months later his trial took place. It was observed that J'idgo White, before whom tho case was heard, showed signs of extreme nervousness Ho twistod about in his chair, chewod tobacco with unwonted vigor, and snapped at the lawyers. At first this was attributed to his dislike of the prisouer, for the judge had injudiciously Bald on the street that tho fellow ought to bo sent to the penitentiary; hut this theory was upset when, iu delivering liis charge to tho jury, tho judge advocated a verdict of not guilty. "Your honor," said the prosecuting attorney, "will you pardou 1110 if I ask you a few questions?" "Certainly, sir." Ye , sir Well, t "Then wl per i-ted th luit I don't under liim t.ind. Wi I you ill i» r ivas first fadder re 11 i no i in hi 8. J. HUGHES, 8 URGE ON DENTIST, PUiOrSrTAWNBV, lt>>. Well ce south end of Pindley street 10 mornii w rung to - it. < I my daughter night ained a truth i Iiofotv " Wu it I either *hj •w York 8un Not \ «• t |B. MORRISON, D. D. S. i is as full of per DENTAL BOOMS, In this line wo have marked down all odds and ends, some for less than cost, to make room for Spring goods. isnltations in English And German. TMs-1 of the eye. ear and throat, a specialty. All ,cal operations on tho eye, ear «n<l throat tilly and safely performed. Eyes accuratoamined and tested for the adjustment of foper glasses. Over &500 00 worth of new and la I est styles in soft and stiff hats. Te new Dunlap, Miller and Yeoman styles. The finest crush hat fora dollar you ever saw. Cllll't see any thin off or dodge i. W. J. CHANDLER, ' SURGEON DENTTST, PCHX8FTAWMY. PA 'Office'In his residence,! n the West End. POHXSCTiWNJT. 1>A. trie Building, four doors west Mahonink.MEN'S AND BOYS BOOTS AND SHOES We sell the celebrated J. T. Wood boots and shoes. There is no better, and the prices and qualities are guaranteed, or money refunded.t on t ilarlc police u brown wig, ami a lull duk sandy board; also a nolo which road: 'I apologize for again intruding upon I ho palatial jungle of the 1£ »yal Bengal, old fid, but if you will kindly return thesj things to tie costunier whose card is inclosed you may ko<*p the §15 deposit Some Noi l I the Southern A r (lion, why didn't you petition for somo uther judge to try the case?" "Because I was afrai I some other might send tlio rascal to the penitentiary. Do you suppose that 1 want a convict son ia law 'i Do you suppose 1 wa it to support his wif? while ho is mo for a fo.*l? Mr. {Sheriff, tnru that [ Ai Uans.iw l i Vi■ It anodder |'11< Bill) Ingle, ii ■oiucter I. G. R. BELL, DENTIST, PtJNXSUTAWNKY, PA Mr. Wh ilf l.iii t foot ;i If y< II J.m't in) y u,• ilcbts, you lind beltor not I ill ic too m.ioli i:i cla-u mcot- FURNISHING GOODS Everything in gents furnishing go< ds, Underwear, all styles and prices, White and Flannel shirts—the best assortment in town, E & W Collars and Cutis, Neckties for everybody, a beautiful line and late styles. frame. men An I'nornnnis Sb barou.etor in ad a has .list l/oun pin in wurivlnjf <u*Uoi* in tho St. (a jiies lower in I'uri-.. Il is 1 -• motres liijjli, was munnfuctui-od in St. Donis and wits carried by six to l'uris in n strong woodou Glarria and Mohair. All Prices. Trunks, Satchels, Valises, Umbrellas in Silk, Toes* Tomnr, fa n< other baiin«*i promptly it- I. MORRIB, J ITS TICS or TBX PI ACM, pastier* of t|€ &ttut. In Johnson Building, A Born Criminal. "How did you get into it!" nsked the lafe-burglar, proudly, of bis boy whu bad just picked a luck. "Into-it-ively," smiled the boy, whose .Minimal instincts weio developed in other directions olsj. If you want lo lay up treasure iu heaven, you had l>ctter not try too hard to lay up trea.-ure ou earth.—LRam'd Horn. If you want lo bj an efficient Christian worker, you had better not try to tell the L >rd where to put you, or what to do with you. If you want to have your Bins forgiven, you had better not try to keep them. If you wiint to 1>() happy with riches, you hail b lu r no', try too hard to keep tlitiiu. If you can't lead poopln into the king* doni of God, you hud belter not try to drive tlieui iu. One for die Printer*. "We call the new boy who is distributing typo 'Circumstances,' ' said tile compositor."Why is that!" "Because be alter* cases." . A. LOWE yon to call at bit gallery and compare Crayons, (tc. HONEY. B BEST WORK any other; then leave your order* where yon yet FOR CLAYTON NORTH, Successor to North A Morris.] TheOrieinal and Popular One Price Clothier Hn Stmt, Hotel PwitaU BaUdiaf, Because the sun doesn't rue in til* West.—[Boston Courier. Pardon ino; that wn impossible. Why? Well, what impressed you most? Well, I think I was most impressed by their sunrise*. Wooden—Yes; went every where, saw everything. Aii ImpoMlbilUy, Wagley—I understand you've been out West Second Fisherman—Nuver mind. W« Can get along without it. The whisky bottles are here all right First Fisherman (reeling in his pockol) —But I seem to have left the w at home. Second Fisherman—Luok here. Thi* (■getting terioua Getting Sertoli*. First Fisherman—Well, actually, I forgot to bring any bait! "Den l'so gwinler quit. It was nil right list long ns liu kicked me, beku».> bo feltsorry afterwards, ami till us gave >110 • quarter, and uow 1 don't git none; [Texas Bifting-". I'aiUllU'j ilutiUK. Tho Japanese author does not write book;. Ho paints thorn. As goon us ho reachca iheinuiapen«;tblo minimum of ideus ho shuts himself in his study, brightened slightly by a 80ft  from a four-eornou white paper lantern. Ho has buforo him » polished table one foot high, on which IIhs hia> idyllic writing materia!*. 'J'ijo papor 1» of au agreeable yellow, ami is marked with porpondicular and horizontal blue lines. His ink is held la m rich ebony plate, elaborately oarved, and with a depression In which the black tablets are rubbed to nothing. The plate carries alto tiro bamboo brushes whici: serve as pens. Nut once 1 M'isi' ?" "D I>i/.i "1 ordered him not (o kirk von a,;;iin. I don't allow anything of th.it kind in this establishment. 1 intend that nobody shall hurt your feelings, Undo Mose." Fvmsvrtwttmr. • 9m. J i«J, |