The Nazareth Item

              ALlB£BT 0. STinSOIS & 00., PaUuhers.
Z ARETH
W^?W£J1.  DEVOTElr TO  LITEEATURE,  LOOAL  AKD  OENERAL  IKTELLIGENOE.
$1.00 FEB YI
1=
VOL. I.
tftkwwtean hog is mtat ya tti the priae
NAZARETH. PA., FBIDAY MOBNING, JUNE 24, 1892.
NO. 30.
now «l
iQoipia 4»^Btri|l| it uroM. i
.'.¦iii.i '  ' ill .,.'¦¦ ¦¦! iTh« MathodUt Protaa^ k\ yg(mt ^ialMd at &atlmor«,pc^lcta tAm wo- ^witl ttltinMcly  oorapr erary po- iimfld|«iHut:h.
lio popvlfttioa of  OcHit«iiala  wiiicb, tJuowy 1, 1881,   WM o(  1,3S«J0S
MtMlti,
iMune LoflksW
K^
Increuod to 1,471^ 1891, aacoriki|l
|»d incre
IE
ihiMr, of DaniHtadt,€tar[ imamd   ta  intorentind Hb iDTWtigationsi
ion  that    womea
'<•/Won, kaowa
lePHew   Rirw,
Drth gu   per
BiruiaiMii,   aa-
^/ Cbroatole, at
^htorinj;   tham io
prertiatteg aa;
''¦respoadent   of   tho |thority for tlta Itate- ^iaroitol fat Joiat
llir.' Imh da-
'.j^liirj
tho
LmerloMi
Vaadarbltt   propert/
iilit. 1 [I threat oa  it at flre per <»at.
rta about twentf-flra y«ari amouat to
ilyll.OUO.OOO.OOO b«t iU othar proAti
(rouad it out to that awa perhaps in or a dozen jeain. It h altogether If, thiaks the Atlanta OooatituUon, iu Atnencan billiawiira will be lit earlj ia the Twe<t*aWi Oaatur/.
bold to twa
i Craoe, ot  Daltoo, JbM., wbo
the   paiier oa which tlw Oovarn-
nU  iU baaic aote* aad boad*,
thera M too miiohiHiftj aad
DC J   ia oirculatiof ia   the
8iate«.     The U-iak of Saf land
a note which if paid io b;
itl cuitoiaan, and tlie i«Mlt i«
manej ti always oriiip,oiaaB
The Uaitad Stetei raMla«r>
id Ndtioaal bank nolei aad
out   a-.;ata, no atstter  haw
be, esoapt,   m  aamtm,
t is too badljr watm Imi ti-
damaged curreaajr  becoOMi
people,  aad   tha   Oovara-
a lar^e praAt on it, which I
roo){ policy."
rwaa-
The New Yorlc Sta#^ %ntal Society takes esceptioDS to n| Jiropoied law which classes them as i|p|pMiios or man> ufaotureri.   They objo^' i^ being oalled
"tooth carpenten."     ^
., M        X    il^iiiiiiia  III
The pay of the AmerkMM farm laborer lias-, according to a late raport ot tbo United SUtes Agricultmal Department, about doubled in thc Htt half centary, aod compared with o^tttr oountries it standi first in the rate 4t oaanpensation.
itgaod aa authority^gi tlM Ofarlitian Ualen laya it down as a feot that "a de¬ teriorated quality Of yottii|[ men Ve go¬ ing into the mioistry at the present tmm. It seems to be a harbor of last lesort for persons who find that they are unable to accomplish aaythin^i iu ofbar SeMi.*' .
'1^ bat
Tba State of Pcaasylrim ba* a law aviding "tliaf any penoAHkble to road : who sball traasplant to the side of I public highway oo bis aata premises |y fruit, shade or forest tfUfs, sball be pwad by the Suparriaor rif. Roads, in Dt of his road taa, |Q. for every r treas set." '
=     i	
project'is sugjCitel   fw a gaoaral
by tbe Unltad itates (llrreraaaeat
of trustees in eaah State of
iat tho Wo4t, it haiag-clear,
Boston  Transcript, tbit   the
rthe General OovHmaftjNit for tke
of the foresta h is Mifar saved
asser
montha kgAt      ^
meat ol anImaU
tbe amouat of daath* i^yof^ 4atilft«t sea
from aixleen per oeat^  „,< p^  ^^j^
..^ . ,     «porid aaaually,
d aaving of |8,.';Ht,Q00 at^|| gt oattla anaaally.
A.n MitaMag ins taaaa of tba' laa^, of the teiagraph, aa UlusUttoa of tho way it oaa aaaihilate space, oatrun th* stia   and   perfora  myatKy.i^ Jugglery with old Time's hour gUs* tni with th< calendar, and aa object lessia in  « day Miance, an aSordad  in with the execution of   tbs seotencs Murdetar I>ee«ia| ill Aa»tr.il|| m • cant MoQtlay YaakSoa,
m OUMTOIA
ST MABT V. •oBirrum.
Wan, wtta, I'to been to tha oharebnaS
III own it mati* ma •igh To ehooss tha llttta apot of groaad '   . Wbete jron fwl I mnst Ua;
I made no lowanoa tet th* cblldraak _rai foo know 'twonld n«Tar do Vot daintr tonna Iika thalra to rest By anoh sa ma and yout
Vkt* narer wu right kind to na,
lint w« nJa«l the children waU, And gaTe'tbem ao adnoaUDn,
Thooah how I oan hardly tell i Twaa aona by ttM awaatof our browl, wile.
By hard and honeat toU; Ton aaade your ahore at ths splanlne ,   wheel,
And I mine ttam the soil.
lUa ian't whM w* leekonsd on t
Wa nerer had no tears ¦aathey would be tha^irop and ate*
Of onr decliabia yaara. Tat the ones we left In tbe oharobyaid
If ear tba eU home far away Ar* far more oomtort to onr iia
Than thoae we bava to-diy. f    •.   j
Ftaa JofaniUa he's a lawyer aow. V"' »•
LiTsa ia a palaee (mod; Jaaaie married a mtllionair* ;'       .>
Asdwenttoaforeiin land)       , Aad Tomay'a a oity doctor
And drisea his blooded oays- Ton're iuwihe'd lake theoU folka Bs
Should we happen on hie wayt
Tto hand to know thay forget na
When we are old and IIL Whea we ware atapping atonea for tbam
To tbe plai»a tbey now AU i Ttey might apeak a word of comtatfc. T
¦'ea thonah thay noTar gIre ApaltoTdonarneirandtiien, -
4b help the old folka live. '
Tea aay they are yonng and hapnr,    .
TW. mueh I'd Hke to know: When aawete young and bappy
Did WW tnsa* our parmts ao y Dont tam yaar patiwt eyaa on ma,
idtdB-iaMaatoscoU; (Btraacahawamother'll abield har ehlU
Wh<a Iha tsWer'i heart is cold.
OkytBiil   TMt think ItaU too hadr
Wafl, a«ll, perbapa I may, I kaaw wbnnrgetatartod
I teT* Uio muob to aay; Iklage mbht hare baan mooh worsa with aa,
Var we have onr Bouae, yon sae, AAA another In (be eburohyard
with rot>m for you ivid ma.
^4|PLEE
Xp the Shallow of the OallowSa
BT OAVIO LOWRT.
eBAPTKR XXI.
A TBVB LOTaa.
Sight and forty boor* had elapied siaoe
'•Whea  tl** and b*r   dang^iler war*
t into priaon, aod ao ana aaase ta am
*  anid Doiethaa  Iioa f^r -It   ia the will of hetren we
ifrom at.'
J7orotlMa Xi*a wmnii ner naada, imt Janat nodded ber head approvinnly.
'Nay, mother; rather fet as thank Ood that there ara those who see the terrible wrong doDtt ns. Itis men like Ootton Mather who bare wrought onr neighbors np to thia treaty. All the eraeh-braios of the world oonld do no worsa .evil, than has befallen Bnlam to-day. < llk< so hear him speak bis mind. If he oannot ssy so mnoh before the world, 'tis gottd to know tbera is one who feels tba awful weight ot the wrong tbe people over as are doing us and othsrs like as. It iS' some comfort to . know that the man I hare promised to marry is not afraid to speak bil mind."
*Bnt the danger—the danger, JTaaet. Oht it ware mooh better h* held his peaoe, lest ha, too, be plaeed here be¬ side OS.*
Atthar Prootor langhed.
'Vear not. Tbare are those who woald plaoe me here, bnt it is not yet in theit
r>wer. And I wonld be tame, Indeed, if did not htdd Bsyself in a manner that inaplraa ethers who tmy be lass iaelbfed to speak out, bat who waat a leader, to imitate ase. If I had ten yean mora oror my beadl Bat a yonng man is no match for ths graybeardsl And yet, some ot the oldest are on my sida—aye, aad yon will soon see a tam.'
'Cray Qod it ooma soon,* said Doro¬ thea Lee, earnestly.
'Amen,'snswoMd ArthnrFtootOr. *Ia there anght yoa will say to ma7*
He spoke to Dorothea Lee, bnt ha looked at Janet. Dorothea Laa ahotrik her bead.    .
'I hare naught to say."
'Too naed ask me nothing," said Janet, 'aaleaa it te to do tm the faror to aay to my fathar to be of stent heart, a* w* hare been.*
Then Janet, placing har arms aroand hsr mothor, both abed toars fr*«lr, while Arthnr Prootor tamed his head aaide. Onoa mora he tamed, as he heard the jailer approaotiing.
'Think, is there nothing—nothing yira will trast me to keep for yon? Yoa hare faith in me, sorely?
'Nothing. Yoa Know I hare all eonfl¬ denoe in yoa, Arthur,* said Janet I^e, sadly.
*It yoa will not trast me "
'We do. Tft oonld not trast hnman mor* than we both trust yon.' said Janat again, as sb* turned and lookad at har lorar: 'and aerer waa voman pronder of promised hasband than I am oi yoa.'
Her lorer alranoed, took her hand in hi* own, bowed orar it lowly with the rererense a knight of tbe oidan tima mifiht hara tlisplayed, then taming ilow¬ ly, bada the mother and daaghter a good day, prayed Ihe Almighty would proaarra them, and slowly left them to weep agaia, in each othar's arms. ^ ;
CKATTSK XBtA '¦'.''
Taa waoavor sat. Tha erenU of tbe fortnight   prorad profltable to the innkeeper beyond all eaU oolation.
1B Ih* iMt ^aea. Dattt^ Kaade hatl tha sysspathy el th* peepi* all aloug tb* 'cv'aa^ •fram Wayalh to Oloaaf^, m I far saAa^mMsadaK^Jhis aon ear 'ie eatr I
aaayMHTfai^raa mara. mga bm. riad In th#y.st^ig|Bgk.*»yv::f ..^Ijig^ g*_hr-. sar.. and your '•**.J%ISs!?."|dlfCSSr^^
la mmtJPIfBam   f*^* *«' Ba <aiiiH wim   t<yan ta asa
rwMd walk Ww   ^'**   rommi
and   asan
Bfim am tvi bAaU n^lliiics of th*
Protwtant ¦plafcepal Ohurchi-     In 8ng-
11 it has U^Mahopi aad %\,09i other
(yaMh; to tba   United Istatai,   61
opa and 3800 clergymen; In Ireiaad,
rbhtbopa and 1807  otber clacgymea;
^, In Canada,  it bisbops aad   1800
t clecgymen; in Asia, 13 bishops and
otIer   otergy men;   ia  Afiios   U
and   350 other  cUrgymea; in
1^   81   bisbops and   268   other
i; and in Scotiand, 17   hiihips
I other olergymen;   in loattarad
, t biikopa and ISO dargynMi
ttoUloflM Wihopaaod^j
¦ clergym
A curious ill Miration ef the impoHaat results often ^r,fducsd ia aattirs by ap- l>arently ineigaHeint oaows is afforded by tbe littie ialanda en aisr Paciflc ooast, a Uttle west of 1^ 4ngalM, Oai., atatas tha New York Sha. *Dr. Gordon Yalai ¦aya tbat sheep haaa toand the anecuiaat lierfaage grbwiog aham Ika shores dainty eating, and bare dastasy^d most of it. U ami thase planU, howiMr, ^hat fonaerly booad the saad to tha baaehei, aad aow tbtt tliey are gone the Inaaaned saMl< driren by nortbweei siMMner breeaai, has drifted orer the ishMidi, already klllod moat of tha tracs aad ihrubi, and tbe islands, la oanssquenea. ara rapidly beooming uniahabiuble. As the resi¬ dents cannot abolish the wind or the sand, it may be aooamary to banish tho ihaep to save San Miguel, HaaU Bom, •ad the othar onoa vanlajit island* ffom oootptete deaoUtiai^
s-ssaaHMBeass-s It has been eatiuntad that 95,000 Itorsas are employed lathe carrying tmde of London, that their raWe is •«,UOlOM, aod the cost is for foo««lona$4.000,0M ayihr. A mto praviai of foryging the ioh per week, quarters ot hands high. in the four- hundredth RaUway
to   am  as.   Hai noe-an .wlU ba wall.   Ug   tai a V mot lit.Idit wMte they ara briagii MMrapetohnlgas.*
Here Janet sighed tleeply. Her mother looked at her loringly, but said nerer a word. She knew Janet was thinking of liar lorer. Had shs not talkad to him in her aleep. .
Tbere was a roioe at the door—the jsilar'a He waa qaeationing a riaitor, arho saemad to be irritated.
"There—there—eaa anything ba pUihar thsa thatT Why, any ooe might read it wilh half an ay% 'Til rary plain—Thooua Danforth.*
Than tte door waa opened baatily, aad Arthaa riaotor eatered qaiokly. Be at- t*rfda~ery m he bebeld DortHhea Lae, as rttHl b* might. Sbe looked Un yaars oldar than when Ite saw her in the tnU lng-hoa*a in Salem.
'aald I not ae had filanda, aMtharf" Jaaet aahsd aa sha gara fear lorar her hwd, aad lookad on him witit Brid*.
—_ 1« mr ittt«h«a4, ArtMt Froa-
:t -¥lir dit he aat aeme srith yea7*
kpaw I waa eomiag. Be- sMtoa.1 tMali he has that on his mind wWak wVt mmnpj him till Uta to-morrow. Be not eaMaaaaa on Joha Lee's aoconnt. He is doing all mortal ean do. And I hop* he will' saeeeed. Bat thera are other frieada as well.   Tnist in na.*
'And what asy the people of Salem now, Arthar Proetor?* Dorothea Lee looked at him  eagerly; *h* hung on his
"Thora tm sobm who do not kaow what to thtnh sad Bmny who ara lad like sheep that falUw the bellwether. Not on* has aidd aofriM of either of yoa that ought net te said in yoor preaenee. 'Tis tme—the ebarge of marder is in the people's months—and yon are oonsidered aa good aa gtrun orar to tha aril one by thefooliehswa*.*
'When will we Imow wbst tbey will do wlthaaT* J«»*t ta^ad at har lorer anx* lanaly. 'Itwil(hatMi|taa»wayair etharr*!* toa. Yon miaaMprehand me,* he added liekly, aa Jaaat's ooantenanaa ehangad,
www— •¦¦ tim»ta^t mt ymf.—mia.
far I kaow-iad •thaat kaow dead ha*  tmu Amm,.      Stay aiawBed tU not  Martin  La ike.UwUlte
qniekly, aa JaaatV ooantenanaa ehangad, and die gsew deadly whllsL whilo nar mothor put h*r hand to haa IMart. "What I maan by on* way as #thar ia nat aa yon thlak. It is a aaattar I tmay aot mantioa anta I sea yon n*A I win not say soms OM-'tks neifhar a( yafi—wUI not haaa,
a terrible Stay I   te   not Lee's  orinM. Thi awe Ute '.lo will te a tree man—if hal* aMra.   Bot it's that that pnaslas tha Jastioes.*
Beta Arthar Proetor endearored to aa- aaaas a leek of indiiferenoe, but he laoked so intently at Jaaet Lee that ste tnraed her fhea Own bim.
"No. Thara ia ao danger at thU boat of any greater aril «|Hdng to yoa. Kaap np good haati I aaasalo taU y«n this. Other naw* hava I nana. The driataU at rvaora—falsa wpocta. Xha best voiiea, and Hm heat am, are saspeeted. TIm baaj bodies laagh otae minnte and ahadder the next. To tell tte trath, I think/ half tbe people ara mad. Bnt, thank tte crorldenoe ttet has us all in
keepings '' '- *-'-••
who are < Ump tha
tcareled   ftw* Mr<>l«head   and
tte plaoe wtere tbe murder
tted.    The  risitors   wars   eo
Bnmerons tbat the Olote Inn waa rarely
tflilent now.   Griizfc Meade was aa brisk,
aye, brisker and lirelier; ste had mor* to
ssy than when sb* was t*n yesrs yonnger.
Oa tte otber bsnd, tte Isndlord ot Olote Inn was gloomy and silent. The enstomers, acetng him standing allent, wHh gathered browa, aad seeiag hia wifs bustling about, nndged eaoh other's *1- bows aad whispored:
'See how the laadlord takes it to heart."
'Aye, snd^se how his wife carries it off with a light onUida.*
* 'Tia an awfol thiag to hare a ehlld mardered.*
'Aye; bnt it's worss aftar he haa )aat come home from the seas. *
'Tbs like was jaerer known tefore."
'Aye; bat thlai's many a penny eoaUng in hara now "
¦A good-it flaa thririag boaineaa it ia."
And Ihea tte gaaaln* ran aa aa thaw dtank tteir farortto Uqaor, aad tslld l|ort*s ml mardar aad rapine ttat aud* tkam stmid to laara tte iaa ia tbe dark.
MaantiaM (Maale tfeade was rating her haaband for permnxing bimaalf to become abaent-minded tefore onatomers.
"Ah! Boase yonraelf I Do yoa not see folks' eyes on yon?"
'As well that aa hara yonr tongue oa me.*
'I'll ^eep it on till it blisUrs, aa yon don't more abont and look attar tte people.*
"rtere's a aaany peopls."
"What I 'I'bon tool I Finding fsnit with the gold snd silrer ooming into tby
bpl* ^Id
d like some qniet.* And I want ii maeh eopipany a* ean eome. *
'Then want on, tten.*
'An I do, I'll not let yon aleep oa yonr feat. Do*t not know 'twill aat^hair Vit* to aiaafcr*
Ta n1htT lieen all the time.*
'An yoa doa't hav* a care, yon'U sleep snansT aad longer tban yon wish. I'rs no miiad to keep yonr oompsny it yoa paraiailn your toHy."
Xhe landlord of Olote Inn at thst tamed and looked at hia wife rary da- literately.
"Aye, so' be it. I'll aot aak eompany, but they may send company with me spite of all 1 can do.*
From that hour tha landlord ot Olote Inn feared aud diatrasled bis wife. Orizzle Mead* trom that teur snspected her husbautL He no longer drank a montbtnl ot water tbat te did not briag himself. He toasted his own bread. Na msat passed his lips until bis wife par¬ took of it.
Ona
¦totte, anS tSha tnto hesry sleep as soon as tae was well ia bed. wlmt new faaoy had be taken? j
Orizzle rose quietly and stole noiss. lessly to the tap-room, Hseing the laad¬ lord sitting ttere gazing gloomily into tbe flre. Grizzle waa snddenTy seized with a trembling. O'bns he sst and brooded tefore be prepared to kill tte aailor. WsAhe planning her mnrder?
OHczle steadied herself with an effort and ratnroed as qnistly as sbs oama. Bnt not to sleep, oleep bid departed from her eyelids. Nerer agaia waa Orizisle Meade to enjoy tte pleasm. of juidis- tnrbed rest. Bbe tnraed from siae to side, listening tor the sonnd at her hns- hand's footsteps. At last the suspense beeame intolerable. And the dread—the horrible tear that snddenlr possessed her was uabaarable. She ros* a seoond time, and sat on the side ot her bed, thinking. Tten she opened a oloset door, stood on a b«neh, and reaehing into the uppermost ilielt. tctok out ot the oloset an Indian's tomahawk. It was oaptared in tbe wars witb the Indians. It had been exhibited long in the tap-room, then was tossed swsy with otber aseless things on the np. permost shelf in the oloeat.
Orizila lifted tbe tomahawk and plaeed it aader tte bedtiok. Tten she laid dorm again and courted sleep in rain. Onoe more she roee, and stole aoiaeleesly to tlmia^ipom.
Maaatima the landlord had remored his shoes, an nnnsnsi tblag. He always look Item off at bis bedside. Now he walked into the baok room, aad feeliag his war in the dark to the only onpboard in tha honse, reaoltad into the lower paurt af it. antll his baad eame ia eontaot wilh ^ laige haadlsb Then he oloeed the door •oftly and raturaed to Ihe tap-room.
This thiag he earried in his hand was a aiekle. It had ent mneb grass, and was dall and soaaewbat rasty. The landlord felt its cilge, and sighed wearily as he
8laeed tte sickle on a ohair, and tumed to >e wall, where a great ooat waa hanging. Be took the eost trom the wall and placed it on the floor teok of the door leading to the etairs. Then be went back of tte eask ot wine that screened the ram and gin, pulled ont of the coraer a laige tear- akia, and earried it likewise baek at itta dbor wtere tte ooat lay. Be looked at the ram eaak, st the gin, and the wine ossk*. Be drew a glassful of ram snd awallowed it qniokly.
'Mayhap I aay sleep now,* aaid tha landlord, as he walked sgain to the flro, took np tbe siekle te hsd plaoed on tte obair, and waa agaia goiag to the door, when te bebeld his wits entering. Ha Itarted back in affridht.
"Monaterl I bare eaaght ibee in the aatt Woaldat mnrder me, too? Yoa thonght to flnd me sleeping."
At flnt the landlord oonld not flad hia
roioe.   -Bnt te gathered strength to say:
'It nerar entered my mind. *
'Yoa would lie to me, holding tte thing
I saa in yonr hand.    Marder is in yonr
heart, Daniel Meade, and in yoiir taoa.*
He eaaght her roughly as she' spoke,
and the tomatewk fall tearily on   tba
floor.   He ploked it up qaiokly and tnrnad
it orar u'ma ligbt.
"Now WBO is tbe mardetar?   Did yoa staal lu »^      t '    ,|j    '   ¦  aim. o..-^ ..-'...— 'noians Strike ih* sleeper<?   Therel* V   Be patated to the great-ooat and bear- '^tikin. "^
'Seel I was not snro how I might lia it I weat witb yon. I was bat going to fasten tte daor tor aecnrity wbea yon eame ia witb this to brain as.* He tossed it teek to her witn an oath. "Take it. and I'll keep this to defend myssit with *
He pashed ber oat ot the room and flnng himself at tnll length on the floor, while Oriscle, trembliOiT witb tear, eow- sred oa her bed, ber hand clasping the Indian tomhbawfc that waa fbraitt under bar pillow.
fTo aa ootrmvaD.l
VartBBes la OMea Daya.
ia andent days men not only accum¬ ulated large fortunes, but spent tliem royally. Crtiesua, who possessed six¬ teen or aev«nte«n million d. liars, naod to sar that n tnti^cn who had not a for¬ tune sufficient to support an army or a lagioa did qot deserve the title of a rich naa. Tfca MhilBaoyhar Wiaaia ha%> l^rtoaaof thurtooaroilHlRta. T<oBtalliia, ¦Um aodtkpttar/bad eighteea aOUona. Tlie Daj I mi Wbarioa, at Ua doatk, left one hnndred and tigh een miltion one hundred and twenty five thousand dollar*, which Caligula M)>ent in less tha'n six months. Cusxar, before he en¬ tered npon any office, owed lire million dollars, yet. he purchased the friend- ahip of Curio for two million flre hun¬ dred thousand doUars, and that of Ltio- itu Paulus for one million flre hundred thousand dollars. He gare Hervilla, thc mother of Brutus, a pearl of the raliM of forty thousand doUara. Apioina expended in detaaaolMiry ono mulion five huudied thoaaaad dbiuara.
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
sto:
THAT ABB TOU} BT TBB OB TXB BBBM.
Ohanced—To Fly With—She Oom- petea With Matdena Younjc— Hanl Iiack, Bco:, Bto.
"Wtet I so in my hnsband priasv" Cried Cora, "ia, he Is so wiser "Ttet may te trae now," H<dly said, "Bat tew te*s changed siaoe yon be wadf —Harlem Life.
SOB (X>MFBTB8    WITH   MAIDBRB    TOtTItO.
He   (gallantly)—"You look  younger erery time I see you." She (limply;—"I have  to."—Truth.
'¦,'»'»;'¦¦;   TO FLI wrrK. Mrs. Larkin—«Hew Ume fllMl" Larkin—"Yes,  but   it'i no  wonder.
Erery    watoh   haa   pinions."—Detroit
FreePraa.
"Papa," Mid   Willie, "what   maka coal bum!"
"Our hired man,   Willie," aniwered
i*i«-'
-Truth.
you   getting inrentad tbat
' piirBSWu. lutxji
Dr. Pill^—-"How are along, Nostrum, since you cure for ooldit*'
Dr. Nostraa-."Oh«  I'm   flUlng  my coagbent"—Pock.
"Oh,.dootor, I'll marry to-morrow il yoa will hare me."
'^Al" muttered the doctor, itepping back snd UaaUng, "you know, madam, thst physicians" nerer take tbwr own prescriptions."—Chicago News.
TWO  FLOOD   SITPnillBaS.
"Hsre you a morsel of food to giro to a flood sufferer, ma'am?" inqnired the tramp.
"You're a flood sufferer, are yoni" aid the hard-featured woman it| Iba door.
way. ''i^m^*'"'^
"Ya'm. Drowned out. ti<lf|iPii7- thing I bad la the world."
"Il {bat yoar dogt"
"Ya'a."
"It b* a flood aaCerer, toot"
"He is, ton'am."
"Humph I   Wbat did he Iom!"
The tramp mw it was no tue.
'He loit bi* pants,  ma'am," he ra-
rHB OREATCST   MAN  ON  Mglt
plied, turning   away Chicago Tribune.
with  dignitf,-
BOT so   B4D.
Patient—"I're lost my appetite, doo¬ tor."
Doctor—"That'i bad."
"Bad I You wouldn't think lo if you boarded whate I do."
wrra roLLa. Tramp—"I'll poll hU leg for a dime." Dentiit—"I'llpuU hi* tooth for a dol-
Ur." Irate Oltiiaen—"III pall hii   noio for
nothing."—Detroit PreaPraa.
your
¦ABO   LOOK.
Jimmy—"What did you get on birthdayr
Jakey—"Nothin'l N*r*r got any¬ thing sinos tb* first one, and tben I oalygotborar—St. Louis Republic.
sum-
BAD OTBBLOOKBO   SOKB.
"I hare   isen joit twenty-four mars," *h* eaid.
"Ym," nplied  Billr Blirea,   impul-
tZV^ youTro" qul'li-'nM;ill}L.t»!- "I'.iAfiington 8Ur. ~
larLnBiiOB or aao ovak MATiBak "I am lorry to leara that you tm m sick yo't caoiiot possibly be in yoor ac¬ customed place, to-morrow morning, Mha Hysee," said tbe minister's wife, condotingly, "and I bare hurried crrer to My that you need not feel tbe slight¬ est uneaiincM about tbe solo yoa were to sing in the openlag anthem. Mr. Goodman snd the chorister hare ar¬ ranged tbat Mia Oonby ihall take the part, and—" v   '
"Wtetl"
The popular soprano of the Rer. Dr. Goodman s churcb choir at once Mt bolt upright in bed.
"V^hatl" she screamed. "That old maid with the crackod roioe try to liBg myiolot   Nerer!"
With one tend ihe tor* the bandaga off her bead; witb the other sbe swept the medicines from the little side table lo the floor, and then she kicked down tte coreileti.
"Tell Dr. Goodman and the chorister," she said, in a roico that rang throagh the houM like tbe silrery toaa of a bal, "to notify MiM Gonby she neada't mangle that solo. Pli b* thar* I"— Chicago Tribune.
MELECT MIFTHfeg.
Oaaaaa a Ume there was a town Composed of men ot snch renown Ttet eetjh one oalled himself the best. Whieh didn't pleaae^ of ctrarse. thti r« To aettia who was greatest there Wttboat rsaonrces to blowi trafair They all ¦greed, witb airs of prl<I>'. To let a f amon* Judg* tiaeide.
Bafore the oourt tte townfolks camp. And •sch la tarn proololmwl bts tame
"Imt* nMB'ssoals." said
•^hsat th«n," aoswsridr ]
"And I do boHt," iha oobblsr;
"My weA Is bound to last, l
*'! sow to rMp," q>oke Farmer Stout;
"I rip to sew." yolle.l Tailor Snout,
"AadM tte best bread In the towa
I take tte cake," btiwled Baker 1 "I make sweet songs," the poet ssid, "Hot by my bands, but with my I "And I do haadwork, too," repllel Tte terber, "anl It's eat and dried." | Ttebatehsr aMd, "1 can't be beat, Vor I akme mato'both eni* lOeat." "I at*m botb egtt," aid Oroesr (hnoJI., "My boaeet wsigbaare pralasd byall^'
At last the oM*Mfaoolmaster pron
Stood up and to tte people bowe.' "Iom the man of greateat worth,
Ue spoke, "tKCaoM I rale the earth," "Ha, ter tte others UngheJ. "bo, hoi
Jast bear old 'spelttn' ieaoon' blow."
"Sir, piMse explain," tte Jadja "Your neighbors seeia yonr word to i
"I will, yoar honor'   la my school The children, good «ndMel;Nji Tte children mla their mothers. The mothers rale the man, you kaoW; Tte men with ballots—aaderstaad- - Eleet the onea who rule tte laa 1; So, oonsequesitly, from my atf>ol Tbe worU and all tterein I role."
"Yon are tbe biggeat man in towc,''
Tte Judg* •Z3laimed, 'pnt on tbe ortisp.^
—H. a Dodge, in Chicago Mk-'
UU
ov THB BAY.
ar* m*n in high piaees
lo sift all storiM, to
i^r. and to call on tb* peo-
twtera tbia will ead nnleM
^splayed
anger
kr.   And,
thaa Baa Mea.
the lni**apar ataadiag aa He bad a kaife ia hto haad. The ath«r held a aloaa of eared baa. Ha fpat mit at his aiBlh a alaaa he had nibbled, and laid bto knife down.
'Ay*, man, i* it not to yoor mind? I re aeea tb* time yoo would hare jrudgsd me  more tban my ihar*  of and not so long ago either.*
The Isndlord of Glote Ii her.
"Is it not good enough? yon will get as better. witb tbe meat. Vrtef aiU ill
Htill   ber  bnsbst^di! Griside'i temi betterof bar,
'Aa yop^^^^^^^^.   ^, -^^^^^^^^^*-. ^one.
ansa aMat, Jookadat
Itiag fte
and finding, on examiaaHaa ef tbo stata of hu affaira, that he bai ao more than, two hni^red thousand doUara left, he poisoned himself, because ^ considered that anm insufficient forihfc maintenant^. One aingle dish ooBt .£aopnB fonr hnndred thousand doUan. Caligula apent for one aupper towr hnndred thouaand dollars, and llBlt- ogabalns one hundred thouiand dollara. nie nsual oost of a ropaat for Liucullna waa one hnndred thousand dollars. The fish from his poinds w^re aold for one hundred aud Heveuty-five thousand tlollars. Bcaums' oonntrr bouse was dMtroyed by fire, and his loss was eati¬ mated at fo'jr million two hundred and flfty thooaand dollara.
Ho Was Froa Kealnefcy.
OiBnanl fw tba prisoner—If yonr bonor ploaaa, wa Bave shown by tba oridaaao o< tlia bariaaper that on tbo day tbia ettoaao wtoa eommitted my cU- wt drank forty-saren whisky straighta. Under the cireumstanoea, th^iaforo, mr client was too far gnaa lb know wnat he was doiop.
Priaoner (jumptagto Ua faotV—&U np, thare I By Old. sab, wWfQT had no effeot oa ao. I'm froat l^tnoky, tthl-*-Tha Lau),
oolla|ta* beott upon get- UbkUm baat bava I^ntni '
¦(HfMbla babit of oflt
far  Presi4ent
EBBtem
"jtwr 'tbbd likb." * Little Boy—"Mamma, may I go flab log?"
Mamma—"Ko, ay aon.   Pi you'll g*t drowned; bnt   you may  go around to the grocery  and buy me a mackeral."—Good He ws.
TABTIHO TBB  MOHOTOITT.
Mr. Job Lott—"Did you iee Siowum
about ttet bUI again!"
Collectot^"Ye*."
Mr. Job Lott—"Did he put you off m
osnair
OoUaotor—"Mop.    Put   me  ofl   the
pUca this tiae."—Puck.
The Hotel of the Three Kings at BmIo, Switzerland, wa ia eztotence before the year 10?6.
The ralue of the preoloui metals in Burope at the time of the disoorery of the aew worid  was only 918r,000,U00.
Qustare Dore, who nerer mw the Ni '^.?. ?£."*• P"' upon canrM one pf the
cuted.*"   ^t^"^   o'  'bem erar wte-
The worid's prtitftictiou ., ,*«...,., 825,000,000 bushels, Europe contritiut- ing 640,000,000 and the United Stata ^  j.lflg,0Q0,000bushels.
In a tatof the capacity of typewriting maohinM recently made in St. Paul, Minn., a speed of 800 words a mmuta WM achiered and officially sttMted.
A redbird died at  tbtf adraaced of twenty-three     years in   Zinearille, Obio, tbe other day.     It had so feeble that it could  not perch in its cage, bi year ago.
A
war TIB BALB rau; -raiMioaB.
Oaitoaar (at   bird-stors)—"You
rowob fer tlUs parrot, I praumet"
Daa'-ar—"I think^pnsn, ma'am.
Ha
Poston
Uvod i^r narly six ~7iars in a fasyiy."
Parrot—"Hoora) tor John L. SaU| raal Ht'i tba daolt for my awnajfl''^ Ohiea^ Tribune.     \'.     #,
Ha—'
OMiaVB'
'Let m* hel(l yaa.
MlM Bam.
"Bo; I ^ea wa  hare   light aaoagh here m it is."
H^—"Your   imile   would    make   it bright anywhere."
. She—"Ya, bat perbapaTm not going to waila."—Harper'i Baaar.
TBB BBtGBT OF BBWtAbBT.
"What a pleaied look your wife hw oa ha face, Mr. Jooa, a shs siti talk- hill to tba graup around hw." ^•T«i, 1   knowr what iha la  talUcg •bwit."
«<8oaM magBmrnxamlaUaaAem atob- ggtg," „ "-^   '
Hfha il ItWillbia S^ a adiwaMo Uf* Iba l«wl». with iBa."-N*w ~' Paa. ,¦%''¦
Th* ril«*t staner aay   iBtaiB thing exoept ao um^resUa.
A friend In neetl is a frieml whn ge enlly strikM you foaa quarter.
It.is a caa of faith with work» a man wbo buys a chcen cloc!c.
If It wan't for tbe oraak^lbe of eirilization Would aot i
Wantad—Tte name who made tte welkin ring.-
The independent  msn to in dependent clroumitanca..
• Tbe fog might be^ point land's air apparent.-".r*"^
Cuda now use bronr diKe tbe effect of  tan.
^^Attl*?^^ • dog's sanity, att*J« any a pouad of cure. The man who i agfaas that hej QalrastdaJ
TV
China.     Thus thera UnfNhmished  RectitaMT'a Ptire street, a stroa  of  Baaaroleace anolher of Lore.
Tbaoreoioba wood or MjBiidai^nj,. a protiaii of Ftorida, to hidiaiii; pop¬ lar fer katfe haadiM, tha niak iu{ f^* laat ttnt ol tba wood, added to^^ haida*a> aaking it rery dairab. ^^ , Ibat i|^ial purpoM.
At GreencMtle, Ind., there aro two ^Kayla traaa, growing about flfteen foat aaat. At tba height of fifty feet one of taaa auUta a sharp angle, growing sol¬ idly lata the otber so ttet tbeir identity abora tbat poiat to entirely but.
Tbe Chinee mska great ao&>iint o( bis bed, which is rery low ^daed— scarcely rtolng from the floor—but to often-sarred exquisitely of wood; but it nerer oocurs to bim to make it any after than tha rash mats will rendw it.
Kaleidscope to from the Greek Iploa, beautiful, eldos, torm and skopaia,, to look, and tte Ma.teace-like wortl oaaai, to look upon beautiful forms. Tbo leasee, mirrurs and broken bits of ing tU* wonderful toy hare
.Valley
out;
pedoboat.
f>   Marriage will eoatinae to be tiU our young weaen leam to | man in tha styto ha has always custonad to.—Blmir* <*»«tte. "rh««*itor*oaatttet
Am awrbtss is ottr
Bu»tteifcid«W ^Vn flH ttepiao* up I
"Aad you will Hloksr'    "Mara, hrre yoa."    "Very' Is—er—your younger MiM Bictet"—Harper's
Physician—'' ^t^i_ good   for   your what do I cara it, [ran me
Dto
XOT TBB BIOBT
Ooi Da  Smith had hto taken not long since, aod berly showed   him the fiC^ him if it wasn't a spleatf'' thoaght it WM tlu oaly had era bad taken thai prmion praoialy.
"It'a perfect," critically. "Tha < that to not like you TaxM atfUnga.
thefln,! abad,r