The Hershey Press 1926-12-16

              Community Christmas
Tree Placed on ^
Lawn at Square
Gifts Will Be Presented at Hershey
High School on Fri day Evenin g,
Dec. 24th. Contr ibutions
Now in Order
Santa Claus will be at the Hershe y
Community Chr istmas exercises at the
Hershey High School auditorium on
Frida y evenin g, Dec. 24th , at 6 o'clock ,
and he will distribute gifts to each child
who presents one of the cards that will be
given to the children next week by Prof.
A. M. Hinkel . Each child , 8-years-old
and under , will receive one of these card s.
These cards will also be given to the
babies and wee tots , and if the pare nts
will kindl y send in the names of their
little ones, either to Prof. Hink el, or to
any member of the committe e, cards
will be given to them.
Precedin g the arrival of Santa Claus
the children of the school will sing a
number of their Christmas songs.
The people of the community are con-tributing
toward £his worthy cause in a
liberal spirit. OQcourse , when approxi-mately
1000 children ar e to be provided
for , it will take quite a number of dollars
to be able to do it.
Have you made your contribution ?
This is a communi ty affair , so let every-one
do his or her share in order to make
it 3. success
Do not fail to be a Santa Claus beyond
the confines of your own four walls. All
children look forwar d to the comin g of
Santa Claus . They have faith in his
comin g. You can help to bring joy and
sunshine into their little lives.
The Communi ty Christmas tree this
year , as it was last year , will be spon-sored
by the local America n Legion . The
commit tee is as follows: Ir vin H. Slesser ,
chairman ; Clark L. Bare , Elmer P.
Swartz , Grover C. Sheckar t , Rober t
Sattazahn , Howard Bomgardner , Robert
Aumen , Rev. Paul M. Kin ports , Prof. A.
M. Hinkel , J . R. Zoll, E. R. Mays , Robt.
Owen , Jr ., Fred Botts and J. R. Snavely.
The tree has been placed on the lawn
in fron t of t he Hershe y Cen tral Thea t re
buildin g. ,,
John Elders to
Present "From
Manger To Cross"
The John Elder Men's Bible Class of
the Derry Presbyterian Church held its
monthly meeting Monda y evenin g with
A Bowman Snavel y, 256 East Caracas
avenue.
The Rev. Dr . C. B. Segelken , of Mt.
Jo y, a former pastor of Der ry, was pres-ent
and addressed the meeting on some
of the essentials of the Christian faith.
Special music was furnished by a quar-tette
composed of S. John Boyer , An-drew
Henr y, Elmer Gonse and Elvin
Fernsler , as well as by Ja y L. Stahl ,
Andrew Henr y, A. Bowman Snavely
and Irvin H. Slesser. In closin g, An-drew
Henr y sang a solo.
Several items of business were dis-posed
of in routine manner , t he most
of important being the makin g of ar-ran
gements for a seven reel picture en-titled
"Fr om the Manger to the Cross " ,
to be shown in Hershe y Central Theatre ,
J anuar y 5th and 6th , under the auspices
of the class. The story of this picture
covers the life of Chris t. Another two-reel
picture "As We Forgive " will be
shown in conjunction with the above.
Presiden t Owen appointe d Irvin H.
Slesser , chairman ; A. Bowman Snavely
and Ivan L. Mease , as a committee to
handle t he det ails.
The nex t meeting will be held Monday
evenin g, January 10th , with Prof. Angell
Mat thewson in the Hershey Apartments.
Refreshmen ts were served to: Rev.
R. H. Taylor , Rev. C. B. Segelken , W.
Ross Esbenshade. R. V. Owen , Jr .,
Harr y Fasnach t , Elmer Gonse , Ivan L.
Mease , Elvin Fernsler , Wal ter Stahle y,
S. John Hover , Andr ew Henry , J . L.
St ahl , J r ., Irvin II. Slesser , Theod ore
Boyer , Morris H . Wenger , Geor ge H.
Dressier , J ohn R . Black and A. Bowman
Snavely, host.
$22,960 Paid Out
as Christmas Savings
The Chris tmas Savings Club has been
a success ever since it was begun by the
Hershey Na tional Bank.
This year the money paid out
amounted to $22,960. The checks
were mail ed out early last week. This
mone y comes at a time for the Christmas
buying and those who received the
che cks were made hap py.
Th e Christmas Savings Club (or W17
has been opened and everyone in Her-shey
and vi cinity are given a cordial
invi tation tc> join. Th e classes are as
follows:
Class No. 1 , payment 25c a week for
50 week s, pays $12.50, plus Interest.
Class No. 2, paymen t 50c a week for
50 weeks , pays $25.00, plus interest.
Class No, .), payment $1.00 n week (or
50 weeks, pays $50.00, plus interest.
Class No. \, payment $2.00 a week for
50 weeks , pays $100.00, plus interest. .
HERSHEYITES ISSUE
INVITATI ONS FOR 2 \. M.
BREAKFAST
Mr. and Mrs. Ashl ey DeWolf , Jr. ,
and Miss Ett tn Murrie Irtw e Issued cards
for a br eakfast at th e l'enn-Harris Hotel
on Wednesda y morning , December 29th ,
at 2 o'clock .
The par ty will be given after the
"Snow Ball at the Hnrilnb urg Country
Club which will be held on Tuesda y,
December 28th. \
There will be uh otfr fifty guests.
ATTENDED BRID GE LUNCHE ON
Mrs. Win. F. R. Mur rie , Mrs. Ezra F.
Ilcrshcy , Mrs. J. Lnndls Zimmerman ,
Mrs. W. Ross Kubenshu dc , Mrs. Harry
Moycr , Mrs. Phili p Dorr and Mrs. Win ,
Cam pbell were numbered among the
guests attending a bridge-luncheon
given by Mrs . John Few , Jr. , of Middle-town
, nl the Oaklyn Tea Room on last
Frida y,
JUR ORS FOR JANUARY COURT
Edward Stover and Cora E. Leeher
will nerve at grand J urors at Criminal
Cour t of January 10. The petit jurors
are Geor ge Shearer and Edward L,
Lln gle, J r. The traverse Jurors for Jan.
24th civil court are Allen F. Brubaker
and John C, Cope.
Santa Clap Advised
To Leave Dangerous
Toys at North Pole
Dr. Krusen Points to Accidents in
Oth er Years Caused by Shot-gun
s, Rifles and Airplanes.
Suggests Substitutes
Santa Claus , take note ! All flying
machines , shotguns , rifles, bows and
arrows , and other such toys should be
left at the Nor th Pole this year.
These toys are dangerous , and every
year af ter Christmas the hospitals
handle cases of boys and girls who have
beer injured , some of them losing their
eyesight , declares Dr . Wilmer Krusen ,
Direc tor of the Department of Public
Health , of Philadel phia.
Instead of shotguns , Dr . Krusen
suggests outdoor toys—sleighs , bicycles,
and express wagons, or indoor games
which arouse the interest of the child ,
so that he may learn to play for himself
and develop inde pendence of thought. ¦
There are other dan gerous toys, too.
Little girls have a habit of asking for
sewing sets and Christmas morning
finds them playing with a pair of scissors.
And it is not unusual for the scissors to
slip, with disastrous resul ts.
Buttons and Beads Dangerous
In these sewing sets are but tons and
beads which attract the attentio n of the
younger children . Accordin g to Dr.
Krusen , the y put them in their mouths
and often swallow them.
But a toy doesn 't necessarily have to
be big to be entertaining. A small toy,
Dr. Krusen says, sometimes gives more
pleasure.
"The child 's mental development is
oft times greatly influenced by the type
of toys selected ," he said. "He is likely
to have a greater interest in the smaller
inexpensive toys which may be broken
•without fear of reprimand rather than
those tha t are more expensive .and
which we must handle with great care.
'It is well after purchasing toys and
after their use to inspect them for loose
par t icles which children are apt t o place
in t he mouth."
Advises Careful Selection
Dr. Rober t A. Brotemark le, pro fessor
of psychology at the University of Penn-sylvania,
feels that a careful selection of
toys has a lasting effect upon children .
"Toys and tools are the means by
which the individual masters his en-vironment,
" he declared . "Give him
the wron g kind and you handicap him in
learnin g how to master life.
Dr. Bro temarkle explained the various
periods in a child 's life and listed a
number of toys tha t should be given at
each period . For the ver y youn g child ,
ra tt les, spools, teething rings , soft dolls
and books with lar ge illustrations and
brillian t ly colored pictures are the most
desirable toys. Next comes the age of
hobb y-horses , wheelbarrows , boats ,
trains , toy furniture , dolls and tool sets.
Between 7 and 12 years , when t he child
is ac tive physicall y, sleds, toys , building
material and athle tic equipment are
most desirable.
"The age of 12 is followed by the
expressive period which is typified by
the eager pursuit of some hobby , " con-tinued
Dr . Bro temarkle , "and in this
age the playthings for the boy ought to
be real tool sets and chemical sets, in
whose possession he will take pride and
will act as an incentive toward creating
something which interests. The girl
of this age begins to seek those thin gs
which will be of use to her life, such as
small articles of wear and dr ess."
Christmas Part y
At Y. W. C. A.
A Chris tmas party under th e auspices
of the Senior Christian Endeavor So-ciety
of the First Unit ed Brethren
Church , will be held in the Y. W. C. A.
social room on Frida y evening, Dec. 24th
at 8 o'clock. An interestin g program is
being arranged. There will be fun for
ever yone. All Endeavors , members of
the churches and their friends are in-vited
to attend. Also to join in Christ-mas
caroling, followin g the party.
Lutherans Aid Others
To aid others in having a Merr y
Christmas the Woman 's Missionar y
Society of Holy Trini ty Lutheran
Church sen t two lar ge boxes of clothing
and the Light Brigade , a junior organiza-tion
ol the church , sen t a large box of
toys, games and books to tlie Good
Shepherd Home at Allentown , an in-stitution
of the church for aged and
cri ppled orphan children. The Li ght
Bri gade had a Christmas party in con-nection
with their meeting last week and
brou ght their gifts to the church for the
or phan children. A box of books was
also kciU to the Konnarock Trainin g
Schoo l for girls , which is loca t ed in the
mountains of Virginia , a home mission
work of the church.
COMMERCIAL LAW STUDENTS
VISIT COURT
The DtudcntN of Commercial Law of
the Hei Hliey High School under the
guidance of Miss Annie Royer , attended
a session ol the Dauphin County Court
on Tuesday afternoon. Here they
observed the court in real action and
heard several in teresting cases presented.
The y also took a trip through the jail as
well as through the State Capitol and
Museum. In the evening the class
broken up and formed several "movie "
pur lieu, The entire senior class was
Includ ed in this journey and the y all
pronounced it a' very worth while trip.
"SEA DOGS' * WIN
The cam pai gn for subscri p tions for
publication! * from the Curtis Publishing
Co. which was conduc ted by the pupils
of ti le High School , ended on Monday
af ternoon with the "Sea Dogs" In the
lead. The winnin g team under the
leadershi p of Edwin Hershey secured M
subscri ptions. The "Buccanee rs " led
by Mutlietv Sandy secured 00 and the
"Pliaten " led by Lois Gllman , 53 sub-scriptions
, makin g a total of 197 sub-scri
ptions , The two leading salesmen
were Marion Sanders and Roy Long,
who secured 24 and 13 subscriptions
res pect ively. James Bobb was business
mana ger ol the campaign.
SERVICES AT DACHMANSVILLE
ON SUND'AY
On Sunday , December 19th , Elder
J ohn C, Zug, of Palmyra , will preach In
the Church of the Brethren , Biichmnna-vllle,
on the subject: "Je sus Mic Great
Emanci pator " . Services at 10,00 a. in.
All ire welcome. >
Clarence Erb Gets
a Porcu pine Instead
of a Bear
Clarence Erb is not only one of the
foremost citizens of Hockersville , bu t is
known long and far as one of Pennsyl-vania
's darin g and fearless bear hunters.
Last week Mr. Erb . journe yed to
Potter County in quest of bear , and
before taking leave of Hockersville had
promised much bear steak for all of the
town 's citizens.
The weather in Pot ter County was
not favorable for bear hun ting, but
nothin g daunted , Mr . Erb set out to
bring in Brer Bruin.
After spending several days in seeking
out his quarry, Mr. Erb finall y detected
bear footprints , and he vigilantly fol-lowed
the trail. For two days did Mr.
Erb continue in this arduous work , over
hill and dale , up steep mountains and
throu gh dense forests , all the while
burdened down with his rifle and bear
trap.
Feelin g assured that he was nearing
t he habita t of the bear , he set his tra p,
and expectantly awaited results. Early
next morning he returned to the trap
and in great glee found that he had been
rewarded—for in the trap was a porcu-pine.
With a heav y hear t and tired feet he
retraced his steps to the camp. Not
downcast because he had trailed a por-cupine
instead of a bear , but because the
citizens of Hockersville would have to
eat turke y instead of bear on Christmas
Day.
Olivets Defeat
Burnham 28-25
The Olive ts showed tha t they can play
baske tball when they defeated Burn-ham
on Saturday, Dec. 11, on the Burn-ham
floor . This is the first time Brun-ham
has been defea ted on their own
floor for the last four yearc and the
Hershe y boys are proud of their achieve-ment
as they had heretofore been a
victim of these coal miners on every
occasion that they played in Burnham.
It was a fast and ver y rou gh game
resemblin g an old-time football game
includin g ever ythin g except pullin g hair .
Durin g the first half no tea m had a lead
over the opposing team by more than
two points and the first half ended 15-13
in favor of Hershe y. The first ten
minu tes of the second half was wild with
Hershe y piling up a lead of ten points ,
the score being 25-15 with ten minutes
to play .
At this point of the game the miners
must have realized that defeat was star-ing
them in the face because they started
to play with renewed strength but they
had waited too long and the game ended
28-25.
Hershey Burnham
Aun gst F D. Wilson
Fasnach t F E. Curry
Leithiser C Koller
Stover G J. Ward
Magrini G Feese
Substitutions—C. Wilson for Koller;
R. Ward for Feese. Field goals—Fas-nach
t , 3; Leithiser , 3; Stover , 3; Aun gst ,
2; D. Wilson , 4 ; Curry, 2; C. Wilson, 2.
Fouls—Hershe y, 6 out of 17; Burn-ham
, 9 out of 18. Referee , Ford.
Hershey Olivets
Defeat Myerstown
On Wednesday evenin g the Olivets
journeyed to Myerstown where they
handed Myerstown a defeat in the
openin g game of the sea son for the
Keystone boys.
It was a hard fought game with the
Myerstown boys fighting all the way
thru the game but they were outclassed
by the shooting of the Hershey boys.
The score a t the end of the first half was
22-13 in fav or of the chocolate boys, and
Myerstown led in scoring in the second
half outscorin g Hers hey by three points
bu t were not able to overcome Hershey 's
earl y lead. The game ended 32-26 in
favor of the local boys.
Hershey Myerstown
Aun gst F Wagner
Fasnach t F Gassert
Lei thiser . . t C Kohl
Stover . . . . \. , . ,G Zinn.
Ma grini G Swonger
Subs titutions: Shenk for Wagner.
Field goals: Aungst , 4 ; Leithiser , 4;
Ma grini , 3; Fasnacht , 2; Stover , 1;
Gassert , 4 ; Wagner , 2; Kohl , 1 ; Zinn , 1;
Swonger , 1 ; Shenk , 1.
Fouls—Hershe y, 4 out of 9; Myers-town
, 6 ou t of 17. Referee - Clemens,
(Albri ght).
Hershe y Bowlers
Going Strong
I he Palmyra t ravelers are in the
lead in the Lebanon Valley Bowling
League , wi th the Hershe y Machine
Shop as close contenders. T he Hershey
Men ' s Club team got away with a poor
start , bu t are now making all the other
teams sit up and take notice. Their
individual av erage is the highest in the
League , is as follows: Cassel , 104; Elliot ,
160; Landgrnf , 100; Ditzler , 151; Brewer ,
146; Keck , 146; Mahon , 141.
The standing of the League Is as fol-lows:
W I. I'tc .
Palmy ra 'Travel ers 3!) 21 ,650
Hersh ey Machine S h o p , . , ,35 22 ,63 1
Kreider Bees 34 26 .567
AnnviUe Union Hose Co.. , . 29 25 .537
Hershe y Men 's Club 26 34 .433
Annv llle Big "5" 19 38 .333
TWO WEDDINGS
Israel Canovas , of town , and Miss
Minnie J ennings , of Palm yra , were
married by Rev. Paul M. Kinpor ts ,
pastor of Holy Trinity Lutheran Church ,
at the parsonage on Saturda y, Dec. 11.
Mr? and Mrs. Canovas will resid e In
Hershey.
Carroll Ri tchie , of town , and MJhb
Edith M, Baker , of Bachmansvllle , were
married by Rev. Paul M, Kin ports ,
pastor of Holy Trinity Luthe ran Church ,
a t the parsonage , on Saturday, Dec. 11,
Mr. and Mrs , Ritchie will resid e with
the bride 's parents.
CHRI STMAS TREES FOR SALE
The Hershey Department Store will
have on dln plnya full nnd complete line,
of fine Canadian Spruce and Northern
Pines nt popular prices; also Holly
Wreathes , Moss, etc. , in the most plead-ing
varieties. Order now In the Pure
Food Section.
Mar y Flckford in
"Doroth y Vernon of
Hadd on Half Saturda y
Announcemen t has been made by
Mana ger Russell Zentme yer, of the
Hershe y Central Theatre , tha t Mary
Pickford in "Dorothy Vernon of Had-don
Hall ," her latest United Artists
at traction , will be shown on Saturda y
evenin g, Dec. 18th, at 6.30 and 8.30
o'clock .
Picturizin g "Dorothy Vernon of Had-don
Hall ," the most famous of the
Charles Major novels, stands out as one
of the cinema events of the year , pre-senting
Mary Pickford in her. greatest
role. Her thou ghts havin g dwelt so
much upon the filming of this story,
Mar y has given her whole heart and soul
to t he creation of her newest screen
personali ty .
As Doroth y Vernon , Mar y Pickford
appears more beau tiful than ever and
the vivacious and wilful litt le lad y of
Haddon Hall will win the hearts of those
who see the picture , just as in it she wins
the heart of Sir Joh n Manners.
A most capable cast of players will be
seen in her support. Allan Forrest is
t he lover , Sir John Manners , and Marc
MacDermo tt is the villainous cousin ,
Malcolm Vernon . Anders Randolf
makes an ideal father for Dorothy Ver-non
, and Wilfred Lucas is the Earl of
Rutland . Clare Eames , famous for her
portrayal of queenly roles on the speak-ing
stage , brin gs to the screen a charac-terization
of Queen Elizabe t h tha t is a
revelation of histHonic art.
Among the other players of note are ,
Lottie Pickford Forrest , Malcolm Waite,
Cour tney Foote, Howard Gaye, Estelle
Taylor , Mme. Carrie Daumer y, Eric
Ma yne, Colin Kenn y and Lewis Sar gent.
The produc tion is lavish , no expense
havin g been spared in erecting stately
mansions and mediaeval castles. Scenes
of pageantry and revelry are presented
with pictures que magnificence .
Under the capable direction of Mar-shall
Neilan , "Dorothy Vernon of Had-don
Hall" has renewed interest in the
romantic costume drama of the screen .
The photography by Charles Rosher is
the most beautiful ever done by this well-known
cameraman.
H. 0. A. Ladies'
Class Elect Officers
The H . O. A. Ladies ' Class of the
Holy Trinity Lutheran Church held
their re gular monthly meeting at the
home of Mrs. Grover Sheckar t , East
Areba avenue , on Monda y evening,
December 13th. After the business
session the election of officers for the
year of 1927 took place. The results of
the election were as follows: President ,
Mrs. Melville Keiffer ; vice-president .
Miss Mar garet Bomgardner ; secretary,
Mrs . Milton Shaeffer; treasurer , Miss
Ru th Shultz. Refreshments were served
to the following present: Mrs. John
Snavel y, teacher; Mrs. Paul M. Kin-ports
, Mrs . Grover Sheckart , Mrs. Wal-ter
Moyer , Mrs. Melville Keiffer , Mrs.
Joh n Daniels , Mrs . Robert Aumen , Mrs.
Mil ton Shaeffer , Mrs. Mar y Smit h, Mrs.
Ral ph Stover , Miss Ru th Shultz , Miss
Margaret Bomgardner , Miss Mar garet
Clark , Miss Alma Drescher , Miss Goldie
Habecker , Bobbie Stover , Charles and
Ja mes Sheckar t , Mrs . Charles Cocklin ,
Miss Miriam Straub , Miss Evel yn Bom-ba
y, MissGeraldine Aul and Miss Evelyn
Humpton .
Sale of Christinas
Seals Closes
The pupils of the fifth and sixth grades
made their final report to their teachers
on the sale of Christmas Seals showing
the sale as follows:
FIFTH GRADE
Room 17 Miss Perr y, teacher . . $8H.7 ()
R oom IK Miss Snyder , teacher 21.(i()
Room 21 Mrs. Edwards , teacher
14.13
SIXTH GRADE
Room 19 Miss Gable , teacher . . 11.74
R oom 22 Miss Lady, teacher. . , 12.85
Room 25 Miss Copenhaver
teacher . . . 24.63
Grant Total $173.65
The three highest salesmen in these
two grades were :
Krantz Hershey Fifth GradeMHOO seals
Elsie Wilson Six th Grade 700 seals
Helen Buseh ore Sixth Grade 600 seals
The children deserve grea t commenda-tion
for their earnestness in this cause,
We regret , however , that the sale did not
approximate the sale of last year. The
sale of 1925 amoun ted to 19,416 seals ,
while this year 17,365 seals were sold or a
shor tage of 2,051 seals.
DUCK PIN LEAGUE
Las t Friday night "Bi ll Spanglor 's
Pira tes increased" their lead at the ex-pense
of Dave 's Giants , winning 2 out of
.1 games. Paul Wititier , of (he I'laulug
Mill , was hi gh scorer with 146.
On Monday night Spangler 's Cubs
gained a game on the Giants , winnin g 2
out of 3 from the Cubs. Spangler had
136 high score. /
$ Standing of Teams
W L Average
Giants H 4 667
Pirat es 8 7 533
Tigers 6 6 600
Cubs 6 10 333
TEACHER BEREAVED
I t, 1b with great regret that wc an-nounce
the death of Miss Royer 'a fa ther.
The student bod y and the faculty unite
In expressing their sympathy In this time
of her bereavemen t. Mr , Royer had
been n sufferer for several year *.
Mr. Enterllne , a senior of the Com-mercial
Department of the Elizabeth-town
College, 1h subs tituting In her
department , during her absence.
Alibi
Some folks know their garlic better than
the onions ,
While other! are content with smelling
cheese,
They are strongest for limburger—it 's
reci procal—
Limbur ger is the strongest , too, for
these .
Some folks think a whiskey breath is so
much better
When brea thed about among less
lucky friends ;
And you often find a man who thinks a
smelly pipe
A homelike spiri t to a closed car lends .
You have met the guy who treats his
rheumatizm
With liniment that so unearthly smells
His poor house-cat , breathing it , lost her
nine lives at once,
And went to (we suppose) t hat man y
hells.
Surely the poor chap who always does
his work well,
Someone should tell him nicely to his
• face
Tha t , unless he does awa y with his un-wholesome
bre ath,
He never , never will get any place.
Since in life I ' ve never made a lot of head
way,
My mood to-day both sad and lachry-mose
is,
But a ra y of sunshine brightens this , my
darkest hour ,
I'll la y my failur es all to halitosis.
At You Have Observed
W Sheer stockings cc^ver a multitu de of
shins.
Doc Drake Discovers
Life is not all sunshine by any means
and a person must take the storm and
the calm , the wet and the dry, the rain and the shine , the cold and th e warm ,
yes, he must take them all as they come.
And when a ra y of sunshine , such as
slan ted our way the other day, makes its
way into our dreary existence we should
do our ver y best to give it an hospitable
welcome.
We hadn 't seen old . Doc Drak e of
Libert y Cross Roads for some time. So last Sunda y we paid him a visit.
"Well," said Doc, "I see you ar e still
smokestackin g over there at Hers hey.
To tell you the tru th, I never did have
much fai th in your ideas nor could I see
much to your jokes until 1 went down to
Philadel phia to th e Sesqui-Centen nial.
I guess it must have given me a taste for
the finer things of life, going down there.
But wha t I was going to say I was look-in
g at some of the papers Ben Fran klin
printed and I saw three or four smoke-stack
jokes in them , Ri ght away I
began to figure if your jokes were good
enou gh for Ben Fran klin to use and to be
kept in circulation all the years from
seven teen something to now, they must be good."
This lit tle bit of praise so cheered us
that we have felt bett er ever since. A
li ttle heartfelt prais e is a wonde rful
thing, folks , and if ever you think any-thing
nice like the above about us let us
have it right away as accidents are
ha ppening everyday and either you or
we or all of us ma y be here to-day and
gone to-morrow.
Nothin g so chagrins a would-b e joker
as to pretend you think he is in earnest .
Tha t we know from experience .
One time we were buying an elbow for
a stovepipe. In the store was a neat
pile of elbows with the ends fitted to-gether
, four elbows forming a sort of
square circle.
"Gosh , " we said to the clerk , "them
is the funniest stove pipes I ever saw.
There is no hole in to them and what
good can such a stove pipe do that tak es
the draft around and around and never
lets it out. "
The clerk looked a t us in amazem ent ,
exhaled forcibl y as if to expr ess his con-tempt
for any one so brainless . Then he
explained.
"Wh y you don 't think each one of
those circles is just one piece of pipe , do
you? Look at it carefully. There ,
Don't you see there are four pieces with
the ends together for conveni ence in
shi pping that s ail. ' "
Worse Luck
I t was in Twin Peaks Tunnel. Some-thin
g happened to the lights and they all
wen t out for a moment. When they
came back a woman complained to the
conductor ,
"Somebody kissed me."
"Gwan! " growled a workma n , "you
ain 't got no kick. Somebody swiped
me veal cu tlet. Now what do yuh
think o' that? "
""'Mnnife.tl y Unlikely
"Th e new ministe r must he mad ,"
said the village woman meeting anot her
of the parishioners on the street . "He
told my husband who weighs 240 poun ds
to beware lest he he weighed in the
balan ce and found wanting.
Fable
Once upon a time there was a cert ain
bootlegger crossing the Great Americ an
Deser t. He became so thirsty that he.
decided he must drink. No water could
be found. He was a t a loss what to do.
Finall y in desperation he opened a bot tle
of his own stuff and drunk it. Once
upon a time there WAS a certain boot-legger
-
For Christmas?
Wlra t do we want for Christmas. Well
now (that you mention it a couple dozen
good joke boosts wouldn 't be amiss.
Books containing jokes that have been
tried before are the kind we suggest.
The y have proven their merit and if the
reader has read them before he will be
sure to get the point.
Pens. Santa , please send us a gr oss
of pen points. It beats all how the
effor t we put Into our writing reflec ts
I tself by wearliiK out a pen point every
once In a while from pressing too hard on
the paper.
Pa per. A thousand sheets would sec
us through nicely and give us a little
business paper besides.
A pipe. No sniolccslucker is comp let e
wi thout a GOO D pipY. Wc don 't have
n good one.
Tobacco. We are not strong for dry
smokin gVb Santa , don 't forget the tobac-co.
Matches. If we dinnii have the
matches wc wilna need the pipe and
tobacco.
Encyclo pedia Brit—(how do you spell
that , edi tor), The y are so useful in
lookin g up disputed (pi est Ion a like.
Wh en wan the flrot bootlegger sentenced
In Pennsylvania and how come?
Why In the J oke hooku and western
news papers the Irishmen always come
out first in tilts of humor.
(Continued on pa ge 2)
1 ^ i>«^ „ * «n , ^ i> ^„ ^,,p
The Smokestack j By Dee Jay Qee )
Christmas Program
at Derry Presby-terian
Church
The Chris tmas program of t he Derr y
Presb yterian Sunday School will be held
on Thursda y evening, Dec. 23, at 6.30
o'clock. The program is as follows:
Song, by school. No. 193.
Responsive reading, by school. No, 250
Prayer Rev. R. H. Taylor
Song, No. 186, by school.
Recitation , Chris tmas Welcome" . .
Avis Ensmin ger
Recitation , The Christmas Snow Man "
Dick Miller
Exercise, What They Can Do" . . . .
J une Parsons , Ruth Mease , Betty
Houser and Glad ys Fasnach t.
Recitation , A Christmas Hint " . . .
Adele Stahley
Recitation , If Santa Only Knew " ..
Bobby Mease
Primar y Song, Christmas Welcome "
Reci tation , It Doesn't Pay "
Francis Garman
Recita tion , "A Dearer Gif t"
Frances Weaver
Recitation , "My Greeting "
Frederick Houser
Reci tation, "The Christmas Dolly"
Jean Philli ps
Recitation , "Glads " Eugene Garman .Jr.
Recitation. "The Golden Thread" ..
Ru th Marks
Recitation , "Presents for Boys" . . . .
Clyde Snavel y
Primar y Song, "Every Merry Christmas '
Recitation , "A Chris tmas Prayer "..
Mar garet Miller
Recitation , "More and More Like
Him" Bernard Houser
Reci tation, "Chris tmas Red Riding
Hood " Adele Slesser
Recitation, "Smiles" . . William Poorman
Recitation , "A Suitable Name" . . . .
t Freeland Fasnacht
Recitation , "The Sweetest Stor y Mot her
Tells" Doro thy Owen
Reci tation, "A Christmas Star " . . . .
Wilmer Weaver
Recitation , "The Cradle Roll Welcome "
Frances Reese
Exercise , "The Basket of Good Wishes "
Irma Adams , Minerva Gont z
Solo, "Silent Night! Holy Night!" . .
Doroth y Parsons
Recitation, "Mendin g the Dolly" . .
Vir ginia Philli ps
Recita tion, "A Chr istmas Messa ge"
Earl Cassell
Recitation , "Old San ta Claus "
Vir ginia Weaver
Recitation, "A Dream " . Harry Wagner
Song, No. 189, by School
Exercise , "Betty and the Christmas
Fair y", Mildred Romi g, Esta Black
Reci tation , "Can You Blame Him "
Bobby Owens
Reci tation , "The Wise Idea "
Doroth y Parsons
Primar y Song, "Goodb ye"
Recitation , "Cheerful Givin g" . . . .
Paul Moyer
Offering and announcements
Song, No. 194, by school
Benedic tion Rev . R. H. Taylor
W. C. Fields in
"It's the Old Army
Game/' Thursda y
Never give a sucker an even break. '
"Tha t 's the meaning of the title at-tached
to W. C. Fields ' first starrin g
vehicle for Paramoun t , "It' s the Old
Arm y Game , " which will be shown at
the Hershey Central Theatre on Thurs-da
y evening, Dec. 23d , at 7.30 o'clock.
From star t to finish, the film is punc-tuated
by giggles, guffaws and laughs.
All of which merriment might be
caused by any number of reasons. First ,
W. C. Fields , makin g his debut as an
hones t-to-goodness movie star in this
comed y, is one of the most amusing men
the screen has ever known. Second ,
Eddie Sutherland , the director , is a
fellow well versed in dis tr ibuting laughs.
Then there is piquant pert little Louise
Brooks , fea tured along with Mr . Fields.
She contributes a performance second
onl y to that given by the star. A fine
cast which includes Mickey Bennett ,
Blanche Rin g, Mary Foy and William
Gaxton , is mi ghty capable and could not
use ver y much improvement.
And las t but , not least , we find that
J oseph P. McEvoy wrote the ori ginal
play which was adapted to the silver
sheet by Tom Gcraghty and J. Clarkson
^Miller .
The st ory is sligh t. Merely that of a
dru g store chemist who becomes in-volved
in a scheme to sell New York lots
to Florida real estate men. Strange to
relate—-it works! •
Printers Defeat Office
Even tho they did not have Harry
Fasnach t in the lineup, who is on the
sick list , the Printers on Tuesday eve-ning,
nevertheless , romped over the Pen
Pushers rubberstam plng them to the
splash of 57->44.
The Pen Pushers , Rubber Stam pers ,
and the Mail Sorte cs started out with a
whirl , and when Referee Busehore blew
the whistle at the ending of first half ,
the y were in the lead by one point.
But the Pen Pushers , Rubb er Stamp-ers
and Mail Sorters had shot their bolt ,
and they became dizzy trying to stop the
Printers , who cavor ted around the floor
lik e three-year-olds , and who , wi t h
agility, nimbleneHs and sensa tionally
r¦ ained in field goal after field goal. The Pen Pushers , Rubb er Stampers
and Mail Sorters did everything in their
power t o stop the whirlwinds , Harold
Hummer , Carl Smi th nnd Edgar Leib-frled
, bu t the close guarding of Sam,
Dissinger and Carlton Grace put all
their efforts to naught.
Gcrlnch was the outstanding star for
the Pen Pushers , Rubber Stampers and
Mail Sor ters.
Printing Dept. Office
Smith K Kreistr
Leibfried F Tinne y
Hummer C Duncan
Grace G Belser
Dissinger G Gerlach
Fi eld goals Smith , 4 ; Leibfried , 4;
Dissinger , 7; Hummer , 10; Krelser , 1;
Tinney, 1 ; Duncan , 2 ; Gerlach , 12. Fouls
-Print ers , 6 out of 15; Office , 12 out of
17.
NOTICE
The annual stockholders meetin g for
the election of Direc tors for the Hershey
National Bank , Hershe y, Penna. , and
the transac tion of finch business an may
pro perty come before the meeting, will
be held at its bunking roomti nt Hershey,
Pennn. , Tuesday , J anuary -11th , 1927,
between the hours of one una three
o'clock , p. in,
Hershey , Pennn. S, C. Steelier ,
December 10. 1926, Cu&h lec,
W. A. Simmons
Arre sted and Faces
Several Charges
Demolishes Light Post , Collides
With Car , Runs Down Man and
Parks Car in Subway. Now
in Dauphin County Jail
W. A. Simmons, 58, a farmer of near
Hummels town, is confined in the Dau-phin
County jail pending the outcome of
the condi tion of Charles Neiswenger , of
Palmyra , who was run down by Sim-mons
on Monda y evening abou t 5.30
o'clock .
In addition to being charged with
drivin g while drunk , Simmons is char ged
with failure to stop and render assistance
af ter hi tt ing Neiswenger, who is em-ployed
by the State Highway Depart-ment
and was putting lanterns along the
road when the auto hit tim.
Simmons is also held in other char ges.
Among these are failure to stop and
render assistance after colliding with
two automobiles , reckless drivin g and
havin g demolished a light post.
Simmons , who was drivin g a Dodge
Sedan , previous to th e accident , drove
up Java avenue and ran into one of the
large light posts , which stands in fron t
of Geor ge Gerth' s residence. The light
post was hur led to the ground by the
impact of t he Dodge, and in an almost
miraculous manner , missed the machine.
Geor ge Dressier and George Gerth ,
who ha ppened along at this time , en-deavored
to detain Simmons until the
police could be notified , but were unable
to do so.
Simmons had a negro with him, but
who made a quick exit after the accident.
Undaun ted, and alone , Simmons
proceeded on his way and sped up Choc-olate
avenue , and near the Hershe y
Trus t Company building, he almost
collided ^ with Paul Witmer , -who was
drivin gTiis Ford coupe.
Even this close shave did not stop Sim-mons'
progress , and when he neared the
Hershe y fillin g stat ion, he ran into
Oliver Keek 's Ford coupe.
Mr . Keck had driven out of the filling
station and was driving down West
Chocola t e avenue , headin g east , when
he saw the speeding Dodge Sedan , which
was coming directly toward him. Mr.
Keck was well on his side of the road ,
bu t pulled over as much as it was poss-ible
for him to do so, bu t was unable to
preven t being hit by Simmon 's car. As
a result of th e impact his front wheel
and fender were smashed , and a sprin g
was broken .
Even this did not stop Simmons , nor
did he stop after he hit Neiswenger ,
which happened a short distance beyond
t he Hershe y fillin g station , but con-tinued
to speed toward Swatara as tho
not hin g had occurred .
Keck , af ter bein g hit , got out of his
car in all haste , and ran up Chocola te
avenue . Espying a Ford truck that
was standin g near the filling stat ion he
jumped into it and sped after Simmons.
Simmons , when he reached the Swa-tara
subwa y, turned off his lights and
parked his car in the subway. Simmons
was abou t to leave t he car when Keck
came up to him, who prevented him from
doin g so. While t hus engaged another
au tomobile from the west entered the
subway. The driver of this car saw the
parked car in the diml y lighted subway
just in time to avoid a collision.
At this time Officer Lafferty and
Sergean t McLauren of t he Hi ghwa y
Pa trol arrived at the subway, ana Sim-mons
was arrested.
U. B. Pilgrimage Will
Leave Hershey
On Saturda y
All preparations have been made for
the unique pilgrimage of the Hershey
Uni ted Brethren pilgrims to Quincy,
Pa., on Saturday afternoon. There
will be fifteen cars in the procession ,
conveying approximately seventy-five
people to the U. B. orphanage and old
Peoples ' Home at Quincy. All ma-chines
and people going are to be at the
Hershey Postoflice , so as to leave prompt
ly at 1 p. m. The distance to cover
makes promptness in starting a necessi-ty.
All people going are requested to
make provision for tiieir evening lunch.
The machine s will be piloted and fol-lowed
by leaders , so that no machine
will fall out by the way. Cyrus L.
Garman , member of the committee on
arrangements , will numb er and pro perly
place all the machines. The committee
in char ge, thru the generous free-will
gifts of the church , on last. Sunday, will
present each one of the 195 children and
old people in the homes with a hox of
Hershey 's famous chocolates. In case
the weather should be loo inclement and
the roads not passable or sale , the pil-grimage
will he postponed unto a later
(lute. Be sure., however , to he at the
Hershey Postoflice on Saturday, prompt-ly
at 1 p. in.
OTTERBEIN CLASS TO HOLD
MEETING TONIGHT
The Oi ierbein Men 's Bible Class of
the First United Brethren Sunday
School will hold their regular monthly
busines s meeting, on Thursda y evening,
December 161 h (tonight), a t the church ,
at 7. 30 o'clock.
A program is being arranged and the
Men 's ch orus will sing several selections.
All members are urged to be present , a
special eff ort is being made to boost the
class enrollment to 100 members by
J anuary 1st , 1927.
HARRISBURG PASTOR TO SPEAK
AT DERRY P RE SBYTERIAN
CHURCH »
Th e Rev. Stewart Winfield Herman,
D.D., pastor of /ion Lutheran Church ,
Harriti luir K, will speak in Derr y Presb y-terian
Church , 'I uesday evening. Jan-uary
l l t h . on "Famil y Worsh ip ", in t he
in terest of the Til-County Family Altar
Cam paign promoted by the l.nnciuter ,
Leban on and Dauphin County Salilmth
School Associa tion.
HIGH SCORERS AT MEN'S CLUB
BOWLING ALLEYS
The h)gh scorer at the Hershey Men 's
Club bowlin g alleys last week for the blf
pins was A. J. Peiffer , of Palmdale , who
rolled them down for a 233 score. Harry
Fasnacht knocked the little plus for n
1H0 score.
FOR RADIO SEE KIEFFER
Radio re pairin g nnd Installation of
equi pment satisfnctorully performed .
Also sets built for nil clrcuite , See M.
C. KlelTer , or call Hoi sluty 6J on BsJl
or Dial.
NOTICE TO PATRONS
HERSHEY DEPT.
STORE
For yiour conve-nience
this store
jvill be open every
evenin g next week
until 8 p. m. and
Frida y evening
until 9 p.m.