Huntingdon Journal

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'':1
1,B0W TC D&AW.
HT TOM  ItOOD.
^
. f   I can tell you, good [hiiijiIc, there's none,
I. IVot opt);—
-,il Be hia nation, profession, or trade. Or grade, ¦Wilwt it may, bul will still have eoma paw Or claw 'I'odraw.
There's the painter, ho'II tfraui j»ut your eyes
Full uize, Antl tako oil' tho cars aud the noso
Of those Who hold up theirye ne sais quoi
Of a jaw
To draw.
Then'thB fiddler can draw a long bow.
You know, Play euch chords wilh his strings, that tho ear
Feels queer; And, oh! then such sweet sons d'accords
Liko Spohr—
He'll draw.
And the doctor ilraws too, for euch thingal
Ho bring.-) As a blister and ploistcr.    If feo'd.
He'll bleed You with leeches, black things you abhor.
That gnaw
Antl draw.
Common Pleas are uncommonly pleasing.
Though teasing. To a lawyer, and chanee-tiw,y suit
To boot. But lua brief is as long as his claw.
Yes I Law
Can draw- In the army arc blades keen for death
Beneath Cracking shells, there aro colonels all round
And sound, ' Their good sword.s, at the he»ds of tho crops—
In war—
They'll draw.
Aud the sailors draw too in their turn
You'll learn— Liko their ships, though they draw littlo water
Or quarter— Uut quick up in line for tho war—
Hurra Ml'
They'll draw.
There's the aclor wilh smirks and wilh smiles.
And wiles, And gesture h'la jest-sure, he'll givo.
Draw the scene, and he's seen wilh cclat: Encore I ! ! He'll draw.
Tradesmen all rfratti thoso worst of all ills,—
Long bills. The professor draws cash where ho can,
Poor man. To tbe bank, others drive in landau,—
What for?
To draw.
E'en the dandy, to make himself thin,
Draws in What tho tapster, to mako himself stout.
Draws out, Tis the waste that 1 mean—but pshaw!!!
No more.
For la! Every jackass can draw.
MISSBLLANBOUB.	
'     THE FAIR cTlENT.
DT UUS. S. C. UAII.
" I tell you once more," saiil Frank Morton to his prelty little cousin Dora Leslie—"Mrs. Leslie," indeed, she ought (o he written, for she was not only a wife Out a witluw—" I tell you once more, you might as well talk to a stick or a stone about justice or mercy, as to old Fred Linch. A stick or a stone,"—he repeat¬ ed—"better—better ten times talk to fhem on the subject thnn to him, for they ware no semblance ot humanity. Yuu expect nothing from stones anil sticks-— and  '
" I beg your pardon, Frank," interrup¬ ted the pretty widotv, " I expect the stick you are twirling about su vehemently will break my lookin?;'glass."
" Psha I" ciciaimeil theyoungman; " you may expect that—but what can you expect from it pettifogging attorney 1"
" A great deal, Frank—an amount of costs—a multiplication of falsehood—a perversion of truth—a perplexing of facts —a discoloration of objects—luiu as the
result—an ignorance as to commnn hon¬ esty—a proliciency in dishonesty— in short, a combination of evil which nn other liuin.in being could gather together —by wliich he lives and we die. You have only lo tell me that a man is a petty- logger, .inil I vanish ; and as to old Linch, in additioii lohis bearing the plague-spot of his ' profession,' forsooth, nbout with him, smelling of parchments, of looking latitats, he is oltl and ugly ; so spare your invectives, Frank, abridge your censure, and just tell me what I can do in the mat¬ ter—paint, lavv in soot, and shall I swear it to be snow?"
" Upon tny word, I believe I had better leave it to you, my dear Dora, to pnint it —your colors will not be over delicate, nor your sketch eoulcur dc rose. What in the world has made yuu so bitter against the men of law 7"
"Paha 1" she replied, laughing ; " don't you know? ' A suit in chancery' bequea¬ thed ine by my grandfather, and another in 'the Pleas,' besides the disputed 'will cause. "
"But you triumphed in thc two last, and SUI ely there is a prospect of the chan¬ cery suit being brought to a  conclusion."
" As to the triumph," replietl Dora, " the triumph simply was, that my law., yers were greater rogues than those em- |)loyed by my ail versary, and su—I trium¬ phed ! i have not the least objection to continue the chancery suit; I really think it contributes to keep me in healtli—it gives me excitement, something to think of and to do ; something to vent my spleen upnn when I am splenelic,antl my laughter when I atn mischievous. But you are not so easily circumstanced. You, my dear Frank, are of a peace-loving, gentle na¬ ture, and so seek peace, even with law— nay, I think you would go a little farther, and expect—love !"
" Really, Dora, you are too provoking," answered hcr cousin, while his cheek Hashed and his eyes sparkleil. " You know it is a maiter of life and death with me; you know that I love his niece wilh my whole soul j you know that by the terms of lier father's will, she cannot marry before she is of age without having her uncle's consent—(or it she does she forfeits her inheritance, and she is nuw only "
"Nineteen," said Mrs. Leslie.
"No, Dora, only eighteen and three months," replied the lover.
" What a wicked thing of tathers to prevent their daughters becoming the prey of mercenary spcnilthrifts," observed the lady, jerking oft" her netting stirrup and rolling it up with great deliberation.
" You know I am not mercenary j nor am 1 a spenthrift," he answered seriously.
" You look sharply after your fair one's fortune, at all events," presistcd Mrs. Leslie.
" My own means would not give to Anna the luxurics_or even the comforts she has been accustomed to," said Frank Morion, still moru seriously. "And 1 should, indeed, feel ashamed uf myself if I induced a young and afl'ectionate girl to abandon her birth-right ami embrace com¬ parative poverty for my gratification. No —if hcr uncle persist in relusing his con¬ sent, [ havu made up my mind tu wait un¬ til she is of age—three years and nine months I—three centuries ofa loyer's life. I shall be an old tnan by that time."
" Nenrly cight-and-tweiity I" laughed his cousin; " and Anna an uld woman."
" Besides, there is no knowing what may happen between this antl then."
" Very true—you may fall in love with some one else—nay, wilh half a do-^en."
" Impossible—fjuite-quite impossible," replied the lover, fervently.
" Ah, Frank," said his cousin, with one of lier most mischievous looks, " so you told ME about twelve years ago, under the cheriy tree at Burnwood. You were a great, lubberly boy, a week escaped from ajacket, high shoes and nankeens, and I just going to be marricil, and my head di¬ vided between love of my troitsseita and love of poor, dear Leslie. You said then, while the tears ran down—n-down your fat cheek,lliat you were miserable, and shuuld never love any one but your Cousin Dora; and you wrote some verses comparing my heart to a black-heart cherry. I tliink \ have lliem somewhere, antl will show them
lo .^nna as a specimen of your constiicy. Yuu are certainly greatly iinproved since then."
"I am sorry I cannot return the com¬ pliment," said Mr, Morion, bowing; "and as you only sccin inclined to laugh at what I lancied you might have sympathi- •^ed with, I will wish you gootl morning."
" Nay, cousin," exclaimed Mrs. Leslie. " I did but jest. 1 thought you knew me too well to mi,nd my jesting. There—I will not tell Anna, Icst she should be jealous of the first love-fancy of a boy of lourteen for his cousin ot foui-and-twen- ty^twelve years ago to boot ! Dut this Linch—this grit of granile in the wheel of love, this hunks, this sweep-faced, hard¬ hearted curmudgeon—how shall I manage him ?"
" Hc knov s you very well. If you were only to go and tell hint how much we love each other.
" You mean Anna and you, I suppose?" said Mts. Leslie, unable to conquer her desire f'or jesting.
"To be sure I do," he replied. " Just tell llim huw devoted we are to each other."
" No —that he would not care for."
" How respectably I am connected."
" That is nothing to him."
" How happy we should be."
" Destruclion at once to your suit. Those whnarcnotliappy themselves never promote the happiness of others."
" Well, then, how grateful we should be."
" Gratitude bears no percentage. ITial won't do-"
" I am sure 1 donot know what to say, Dora, answeretl her cousin, who was any thing but fruitful in expedients. "lie can make us happy, if hc will, at oncc-— if not, WR will wait, and when the time coines, be happy in spite of him."
" You throw me completely on my own resources," aaid the widow ; " but the first stop is for me to become his client."
"A fair client, most certainly," an¬ swered her cousin. "But you havo no law-suit at present. You would not sure¬ lv turn your chancery business over to his hands ?"
" No—certainly not."
" But you are not engaged in any law suit?" persisted Frank.
" No ; but I may be if I like, I suppose, cousin mine. We manufacture our own misery, why not our own law ?"
" But I confess I do not sec what that has to do with my marrying his niece."
" I do," she replied ; and wishing her perplexed cousin good-morning, the lady withdrew—returning the next moment to add—" Now keep upyour spirits, Frank; do not do any thing desperate ; do nol even takc an over dose of champagne. I remeinber when your love for me took a tlcspairing turn—you, boy-like, eat it off. Your mother declared you spent a for¬ tune in cheese-cakes. I feared you might, in a spirit of manliness, endeavor to drink this oft'. But do not, Frank ; rely upon me—I will put every thing entrain before the sun seta." And agaiii she van¬ ished, leaving Frank Morton halt oft'en- ded, half amused, and most anxious as to the result—comforted, nevertheless, because,he believed in the contrivance and spirit of Mrs. Leslie.
There arc a great many amiable, gentle- hearted men, who get through life to their own credit and the comfort of others by the aid of a fortune which places them beyoml the necessity for thought or exer¬ tion ; but if any event occurs, any obsta¬ cle is discovered which cannot be at once overcome—in whicii something more than money or connection is requisite; where tact is even more necessary than talent— it is in vain they turn to their banker's book or seek precedents for conduct in a like extremity. They are utterly at sea, dashed from one billow to another, help¬ less as infants, and very apt to consider themselves placed under circumstances of straint and dilliculty in which no one was ever placed beforo. Poor Frank .Morton was perfectly amiable and gentle-heartetl, and ought to have been raised above the necessity for exerting his wits—for cer¬ tainly his wits never would have exalted him. He once consideied "Cousin Dora" the most lovely creature in tlic world, anil
only changed his opininn tn believe her the most astonishing ; and like those who never manufactured a project or have what may be considered a genuine itlea of iheir o«n, was perpetually wuiitlering " how such odd things coulil come into Cousin Dora's head ;" frequently indul¬ ged in reveries as tu " how she came to be so clever;" couhl not devise " what her brain was made ol;" wished he " knew the world but half as well," and so forth ; and then remained content with wishing, satisfied in his own mind that, do what he would, he should never have the head of Dora Leslie. In truth, the widow had run away with the ready wit and inven¬ tion of the whole family, and in return was always willing to exercise it for their benefit and her own amusement; besides, she really loved Frank as a brother, and desired his happiness with more earnest¬ ness than she usually bestowed upon any single object or person. A woman is al¬ ways interested in the fate of a cidevant lover, particularly if she understands human nature sufticiently not to be dis¬ pleased a{ a man's forgetting a first love in a second, a third, a fourth, or even a fifth i She could not have forgiven a mere coquette—but Frank, poor fellow, quite in earnest with the sentiment as long as it lasted, and this made her esteem him far above the love-seeming men of fashion, who never feel, or if they do, whose feel ing is afVectafion. She thought that a union wilh ^nna would make him liappy, that money is always an advantage in a family, anil she most particularly desired to set her wit against what she called " English lAnch law."
Mrs. Leslie drove up to Mr. Linch's oflice in her carriage, and having learnetl that he was at home, she took sundry let¬ ters and a parchment or twu tied with the " professional red tape" from her ser¬ vant's hands, and entered liis sanctum. Nothing could be more unpromising than the opening of the campaign. It was evi¬ dent that the old man expected she cnme to press her cousin's suit; and upon every wrinkle of his face was written " denial." His mouth drawn into a hooting " No," his brow contracted, his feet firmly set upon the ground, his handa rigid to thc very tips of his fingers, he looked as if steeped in the very essence of perverse ness ; and not even when his fair client commenced explaining the business upon which she came did he change ; nor was the change sudden, despite her desire to draw him away from his suspicions. He seeined to consider her the embodyment of a proposal for his niece and hcr money, and she had gone a long way with her " statement" before he forgot the uncle in the attorney, and at last became oblivi¬ ous to all considcrations.save the prospect of a "suit at law." Slowly the muscles ot his mouth relaxed ; his features fell inlo their usual places; his monosyllables exiended into penetrating inquiries— every expression was set on the keen, cut¬ ting, investigating edge of the law. He rubbed his liands in perfect ecstacy when Mrs. Leslie pointed out what, if not weak point's in her adversary's cause, might, by the usual inverted proceedings of a " good man of business," be turned inlo such; and absolutely pressed her nrm with his vulture-like fingers, when he as¬ sured her that nothing was needeii but to bring the cause into court. She felt as if her wrist was encircled by a viper ; but she remembered her cousin, and her desire to free Anna from the doinioalion of such a masler increased tenfold.
It waa at once evident to Mr. Linch, that if what his fair client stated was true, she would be entitled to a vast addi¬ lion to her income. As the very antici¬ pation of such an event trebled his respect, she became—his " dear lady;" and this feeling rapidly increased when she en¬ treated him to keep their interview a pro¬ found secret, particularly from certain members ot tbi; profession whom she named, stating that she would leave the entire conduct of the suit in his hands without further anxiety. She managed the interview with the skill and the grace of an accomplished actress; and the shrewd attorney accepted an invitation to dine with her the nextday. Of course Frank was not of the party; and the itlea 'hat Master Lincli turned over >otl orer
in his mind as he ptangcd his rcceeding chin into his red comforter and journeyed homeward, was--" 1 wonder how she came to think me honest 1 I never was thought honest before ! She certainly thinks me very honest," and he nestled his chin still more deeply in the viarin red wnol, and chuckled like a fiend over the prospect of pillaging the fool who could tllink him "Iionest." Ile let liiui. self into his hall with his own latch key, and struck a light; but he had strange dreams that night, and more than nnce the bright eyes of the fair widow flashed across his slumbers, and ho felt as if struck by lightning ; and then he thought that strange re|)nrts hud gone abroad concern¬ ing him—that rogues considered him "honest," and honest men called him " rogue ;" anil that he lost all his prac- tice, scouted alike by both.
Frank became desperately impatient.— An entire week had past, (a year of a lover's life,) and to all his inquiries the widow replied with batlinage and laugh¬ ter. Her intimacy with Mr. Linch grew illl) a nine days' ivonder. On the tenth day, the miser made a feast, and she dined with him. Again he dined with her, lind the next inorning the fair and faith¬ less client presented Frank with Mr. Linch's written permission fur his mar riage with his (Mr. Linch's) niece. The followingdny it was determinetl that the lawyer and his niece. Frank Morton and a few select friends, were to form a reu¬ nion round the widow's hospitable boartl. Mrs. Leslie would answer no questions; she confiiletl the secret of her iiiflacncc to the most faithful of all counsellors— herself; and receiveil Mr. Lincli with a graciousness—if the expression be per- mittcil—peculiarly her own. \ most strange change hati passetl over the attor¬ ney's outwarti man. But for thc twink¬ ling of his cold, gray eyes, that glitterctl likestars in frosty weather, antl the croak¬ ing ofhis hard voice, you would have scarcely recognized him as the brown- coated, shriveled dweller of the inns of court. His features hati expandetl ; he was dresscti by a skilful tailor, and his wig might have been envied by the royal wig fancier of past days. The incorrigi¬ ble willow leaned almost lovingly upon Wli arm; and after dinner, wheu she wilh- ilrew, consigned her table to his care.— Frank could not make it out -, but that was not much to be wondered at—he had not what peoplo call a "discovering mind." Anna was almost as mystified as Frank ; but women, if lliey do not un¬ derstand at once, are given to reganl each other rather through a miscroscope than a telescope, not drawing the object much closer, but getting at its exagger¬ ation, .^nd little, gentle Anna, v^¦llo knew nothing of ihe world, thought she could see through the veil ot the woman of thc world. Quiet little Anna, much as she had sulTered she did not like her uncle's being matle such a fool of. Her eyes filled wilh tears more than once when she noted the arch looks of her lover's cousin, and heard tho half-mur¬ mured derision that trembled on her lip.— When she spoke to her other nearest liv¬ ing relative, she owed him neilher love nor kindness, and when Frank was pres¬ ent, she was tuo happy to moralize ; but still, she thought that he was an old man ; and when her father liveil, and she was a little child, shi^ bad often sat upon his knee, while h<! cut her soldiers nut of old parchments. She remembered he was kinil !o her then—never since, certainly ; but then he was, and she dwelt upon that, forgetting his unkindness until the harsh tones of his prating voice, or the coldness of Ins eyes when tbey looked on her, for¬ ced hcr to remember how much that is harsh and cruet can be furced into a few short years.
It was evident to Frank Morton that his cousin was wearying of the toils she her¬ self had woven. The novelty of her po¬ sition bewitching what she loathed ; the metamorphosis that witchery had wroughl on the old man; thenccessitjr for bringing the matter to a speedy termination, ren¬ dered her more restless, more capricous, more teazingand tormenting than usual ; and wben she withdrew her cousin into oneof those shut-up sort of obscurities, halfroom, half closet, which ladies in their fantasy drape in pink calico and coarse muslin, and then pronounce it a boudoir, he thought the spell would have been broken, tbe mystery explained to his entire satisfaction—but he was quite at fault.
" Frank," said Mrs. Leslie, "You must manage to marry Anna within a week— within three days, in fact. I ara tired to death of Linch, and want to get to Brighton. He may revoke, so get married at once, and then you have his consent to plead ; but it musi be within three d.iys. It was Ttstly ttnuging at first, but I can¬
not keep it up.    I mult avoid (jfesing hiw again unlil the knot is tied."
Mrs. Leslie yawiieil and remaineil si¬ lent. Frank took her atlvice, untl pli-atled his cause—t'le cause of boil.—mi success¬ lully with Anna, that the cereninny wa* perlorined, ami conlcssetl, a few bours :ilterwarils, on beiitled knee to the hiil»'» uncle. Mr. Much was very angry. His lair client had not rcceivcti bis visits or replied to his notes tluirng the List two or three days ; antl, deiermined to bt; bulh b-mil and seen, he aluniist forced hi- way into Ihe little pink bomioir. She held out one hand to greet him, and covered her face with the other in a half-cnquetisb sortofway, as if ashamed of her "niiughti- ness."
" I knew you woultl forgive Ihem," shesaid. ".'Vnd afier all, it could nnt make, much ditl'crciicc to yuu, for they coulil have waited ;antl you only lose thu turning ofthe money for three years."
The old man shutltiereil at the los^, but enileavored lo turn it olFwiih a com- pliiiientaiy phrase or two, that came out very slowly. Ile eviilently tletermined toavoid that subject, but cling to the uther, antl rusheil into the intricacies of the projected suit at law, tvith as .'nuch zeal and activity ns if it hail been the op¬ portnnily of his life fiir legal distinction.
"Ile hail," be said, "'taken CDunsel'u opinion upon the stateinent she cummit¬ ted It) his care, preserving the secrecy she had enjoined as to (liime, antl avoiding those ill the pofession wlmm she had de¬ sired him to avoid. From all that passed, be fell assured that in a short tune ho slioulil have to congratulate her on a spleiitliil aililitiuii to her iiictniie; and he Imped she would remember the gralituile which she said must be felt towards him whu had tbe good fortune tu advise and direct her procectlings."
The speech was set and clear enough, but the positive faltering ol the old man's voice, the memory of a blush—of a pur¬ ple tone, certainly, but still a blush—that overspreail his Icaiurcs, and the earnest¬ ness ofhis last words, would have led to the belief that Cupitl hail really been at his pranks, antl iiildetl another to his ILtt of ancient fools—hard, world grubbing, musty fools, surprised into a feeling whose very existence ihey hud disbelieved for three-score years, antl which revenged itself by pranking the withered tree in the mocking garlands of sunny May.
It really was something to make .Mrs. Leslie feel einbarrassetl: something to sec her pause for a reply ; something to perceive that perplexity was as new to her as was love lo Mr. Linch ; and for once that to her capricious nuture novelty fail¬ ed to be tlelightful.    At last she snid—
" I hope, iny good sir, you will forgivK the liltle jest i venlured to practice ypnt you,just for the purpose of making those young pcople happy. I tuld you I had a tiuit at cominon law, and a disputed will cause, and you were so good as to feel greatly interesleil therein. You saw at once how just my causes were."
"Certainly, certainly," repeated Mr. Linch.
"The documents I showed you tvere the documents that accoinpanid my suits into court. Upon Ihem I received my verdicts, and I have the satisfaction of seeing that you quite agreed with what has been done. The forlune you promis¬ ed ine/Aaue e/i;ouf<i Ihese len years 1— I sought to interest you in my own aft'airs that you niight—in short, that you might take pity upon your niece, or rather, I should say, render her jusjice! Frank's eloquence and her tears hail alike failed to produce the desired eft'ect, and I sought o gain a temporary inlluence over ynu by the temptation ufa double law-suit."
Mr. Linch trembled from head to foot.— At last he exclaimed —
Worse than that, madam, worse than that. There was another temptation you did nut disdain to hold out—the possess¬ ion of that hand, madam; of that hand, upon which, ihevery last lime I saw you, / counledeleven rings, and all of value."
The widow could uot resist the climax She iaughcti mightily, and became quite herself when the old geiitlman threateneil to sue her fur bieach of promise of mar¬ riage. Insfatl ofentleovoringtodinsuatle. lum from it or showing its absurdity, she did all she could to urge hiin to bring the action immetliately. " 1 really," shesaid "ditl not think you were half "so great a tiarling as you are. Ify^ will do so at once, 1 will put oft'my journey to Brigh¬ ton. It would bea fresh celebrity, a re newal of my youth;—and then the evi- dence, and the cause of my hoaxing you .—so romantic I And you pleading the excess ofyour tender passion for me to the positive loss of the use uf Anna's for¬ tune for three years, and being induced to give your consent in exchange for tho pickings oftwo lawsuits.   Only fancy!"
But Mr. Linch did not bring an action —he llill not even charge llie widow with the fee he had paid for counsel's opinion. He abandoned his new finery, resumed his old suit, wilhdrew his forgiveness from his niece, and registered avow in West¬ minister Hall lo have nothing more to do with F.MK Clients I